Stay Gold: A Moving and Honest YA Romance About Trans Identity and First Love

by Tobly McSmith

Debut author Tobly McSmith delivers a coming-of-age teen love story about a transgender boy who’s going stealth at his new Texas high school and a cisgender girl who is drawn to him, even as she’s counting down the days until graduation. Perfect for fans of David Levithan, Becky Albertalli, and Jenny Han.

Pony just wants to fly under the radar during senior year. Tired from all the attention he got at his old school after coming out as transgender, he’s looking for a fresh start at Hillcrest High. But it’s hard to live your best life when the threat of exposure lurks down every hallway and in every bathroom.

Georgia is beginning to think there’s more to life than cheerleading. She plans on keeping a low profile until graduation … which is why she promised herself that dating was officially a no-go this year.

Then, on the very first day of school, the new guy and the cheerleader lock eyes. How is Pony supposed to stay stealth when he wants to get close to a girl like Georgia? How is Georgia supposed to keep her promise when sparks start flying with a boy like Pony?

Funny and poignant, clear-eyed and hopeful, Stay Gold is a story about finding love—and finding yourself.

Genres: LGBT, Young Adult, Romance, Contemporary, Queer, Audiobook, Fiction

384 pages, Paperback

First published May 26, 2020

About the author

Tobly McSmith is the co-creator/writer of eight somewhat successful musical parodies, including Friends! The Musical Parody and The Office! The Musical Parody. Tobly was born in Texas. He now lives in New York City with his two cats, Bam-Bam and Bananas McSmith. Tobly is proud to be transgender.

Reviews

[Chelsea (chelseadolling reads) · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was NOT an easy read, but wow, did I love it. If you're considering reading this one, please keep in mind that this is a heavy book that includes a lot of potentially triggering material.

TW: dysphoria, transphobia, homophobia, dead naming, bullying, cheating, use of slurs, alcoholism, suicidal thoughts, self harm, public outing, death of a loved one

[Gabby · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars
I am so surprised by how much I loved this. I listened to this audiobook and I finished it within two days, I couldn't stop listening to it. This is one of the best young adult books I've read in a long time. I absolutely adore Pony and all the characters in this book. But just know going into this that this is not a fluffy sweet contemporary book, this book gets very dark and sad and hard to read at times. Here is a list of some of the trigger warnings for this book: dysphoria, transphobia, homophobia, bullying, use of slurs, alcoholism, suicidal thoughts, self harm, public outing, death of a loved one

This audiobook literally had me crying at the end while I was driving, I just got so emotionally attached to Pony while listening to this book. I feel like it's so important to read own voices trans stories because I feel like I learn so much about the trans experience every time I do, and this one might be my new favorite, either this one or Felix Ever After. But I felt so much for Pony in this book. His complicated relationship with his parents hurt me to read about. It broke my heart every time his Dad made some rude comment toward him. I adored his relationship with his sister Rocky and she's seriously one of the bets side characters ever..? And Georgia is a character who definitely has her flaws but I couldn't help but adore her as well. Georgia's family is also very well fleshed out and I adore her Dad with my entire soul, he's so soft and one of my favorite fictional Dads I've ever read about. Also the Love Actually scene in this book was so freaking cute and it made my whole life even though I'm not a huge Love Actually fan, it was just so stinking adorable it made my heart grow ten sizes.

This book just made me feel so many things. Pony will be in my heart for so long after finishing this. I am not trans so I can't speak on the representation in this book, but I do think it's important to read own voices stories from trans authors. I can see a lot of other reviewers have an issue with the fact that this main character is pressured by his friends to come out to everyone he knows, and while I don't think he should've been pressured as much as he was and I think everyone's criticisms of that aspect of the book are valid, it didn't personally affect my enjoyment of the book. I understand that those are important things to point out though so I just wanted to mention it to anyone who is interested in reading this.

But I absolutely adored this book, I can see myself rereading this one in the future. And I'm not even super interested in young adult books anymore but this is one of the best YA books I've read in a while. The ending legit had me bawling my eyes out it was kind of embarrassing. Stay gold, Pony.

[✨ jami ✨ · Rating 3 out of 5]

❝ Stay gold, Pony. The world needs you. Stay gold when it’s hard. When it’s lonely. When it’s scary. Especially when it’s scary ❞

When I heard about this book from the publisher, I was pretty excited. It was pitched as a contemporary romance, comparable to ‘To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before’, which is a series I adore. I was expecting a sweet, fluffy romance between the new boy, Pony, who is trans and a popular cheerleader at his school called Georgia. This is what this book is … and it also … isn’t.

The first thing I want to say about this book is anyone going into it purely expecting a fluffy contemporary romance may potentially be disappointed and maybe even feel a little blindsided like I was. While Stay Gold does have a contemporary romance with a happily ever after, a lot of this story follows Pony tackling, oftentimes intense, transphobia and discrimination. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, it is important and valid for these issues to be explored in fiction. It just wasn’t what I expected and I want other people to go into this with the right expectations.

Stay Gold follows Pony, a seventeen-year-old trans boy who is attending a new school in Texas and has decided to go stealth, meaning he will keep his identity a secret. This is a decision he faces come criticism for, mainly from his out and proud best friend Max who believes more people should be out and visible, and from his sister Rocky who supports him and wants him to be open and honest. When Pony arrives at school, he meets and starts to fall for a popular cheerleader called Georgia. During the process of their romance, Pony comes to the realisation he needs to be honest with Georgia about his identity, and his ultimate decision to come out to her sets of a string of events at his school and a discussion around queer identities.

❝ We only get one chance at life. I couldn’t spend another day stuck because I was worried about what people thought of me ❞

First, I want to point out some basic things I did and didn’t like before I get into a more complex discussion of this book and why my feelings on it are mixed.

One thing I did like was Pony and Georgia’s respective characters and personalities. I particularly liked Georgia. She was a really fun character to follow, with lots of flaws and quirks that made her interesting. Pony was a really sympathetic character, and by the end of the book, I was really invested in him. Their romance was also cute, I liked the parts of them just hanging out as friends, I thought it developed their relationship well and their jokes and banter together were cute.

I also liked how both Georgia and Pony had friends outside of each other. Georgia’s cheerleader friends were an interesting group and I liked the subplot about their team and relationships. The relationship between Pony and his sister Rocky was also something I loved. I adore sibling relationships in books and I thought this one was well done, and their genuine love for each other, mixed with the way they would tease each other felt so authentic. I also liked the happily ever after the characters got, especially acceptance from friends and family, which I felt was most deserved given how dark this book gets in places. It has some cliche rom-com moments, and I kinda loved them. I also found myself quite sucked into this story, like any good contemporary romance, I felt like I was flying along absorbed into the story and drama. I also loved the hopeful and uplighting ending. It really made me feel warm and happy and I think it was a perfect ending for this story.

On the other hand, I wasn’t a huge fan of the writing style, it’s first-person addressing the reader which is my least favourite point of view. I also thought some sections of dialogue were a little stilted, and maybe didn’t read like teens talk. But this is a debut, and those are things I can forgive, and it didn’t majorly interrupt my reading experience.

❝ They raised daughters named Sarah and Rachel and now they have a transgender son named Pony and a unicorn named Rocky. They must wonder where it all went wrong ❞

Those likes and dislikes aside, I want to talk about how this book wasn’t exactly what I expected. The characters, and by extension, the romance felt like they functioned as a tool to educate non-cis people about the realities of being a trans teen, and even more broadly non-queer people about the queer community. At times, this book felt stilted because portions would be ‘info dumps’ about living as a trans person, which felt more like they came from the author than naturally from the character. Further, depictions of violent sexual and physical assault, as well as inclusions of suicidal thoughts by the main character were included as a vehicle to educate. For example, the main character contemplates suicide, which acts as a gateway for the book informing and giving statistics about high suicide rates in trans teens. I’m not saying this is necessarily a bad thing to portray in a book, it is just that I think people looking to be educated may resonate with this more than those looking to be represented.

I think I was also looking for more of an arc for Georgia, and maybe for her to have to work a little bit more for her ‘redemption’. I felt the narrative didn’t really address her treatment of Pony and the inconsistencies between her actions and dialogue felt underexplored.

Finally, I’ve seen almost every pre-review address this, so I thought I would quickly discuss it too. A large focus of this book is around being ‘out and proud’. Pony is criticised by his friends and family for going stealth. His best friend Max is particularly critical, even threatening to end their friendship when Pony refuses to share a petition about a trans friend that could potentially out him. I was looking for more nuance in this discussion. I think the general message of the power that can come from being out and proud, and the representation it gives others was powerful. I also thought the narrative could have delved more into the complexities of it. Max going to a liberal art school, having accepting family and all queer friends and thus a vastly different experience to Pony is only briefly mentioned and not really explored. Further, there is a part where Max calls Pony ‘brave’ for coming out and thus getting assaulted, which felt a little off to me.

Overall, I think a lot of my issues with this book boil down to the fact this book didn’t explore queer issues with the nuance I wanted, nor did it give me the story I was expecting. Which is not necessarily a criticism. I think this book is meant to be an introduction to trans issues and the queer community, and that is important. I think this is probably going to be an important and useful book to a lot of people. It’s just not really the story I was looking for. I am sure some people will feel represented by it because realistically, Pony’s experiences are unfortunately ones which trans teens may face. At the same time, there are some discussions and ideas I think may not resonate with every reader, which is fine too. But I think it is a book which ultimately tries to give hope and be uplifting while trying to tackle serious issues head-on.

I would recommend this to people who are interested in the premise, as long as you’re knowing it’s not a wholly fluffy contemporary romance. I think the focus on trans issues was important, and the happily ever after ending for the character was sweet.


This is a book I have quite a few thoughts about. While on the surface it is a fluffy rom-com, and it does deliver that to some degree, I was blindsided a little by how much the main character goes through in this book. It’s a book I’ll definitely be following through release date, to see more reviews about, especially from ownvoices reviewers. I think it’s going to be a book that some people resonate with, and others do not. And that it is fine. A book doesn’t have to encapsulate every experience or be written in a way to appease every viewpoint to be worthwhile. I feel I was not the target audience of this book, but I also feel there is potentially a market and audience for this book out there that may really benefit from reading it.

this is an ARC and included quotes are subject to change upon publication. stay gold releases on may 26th! thank you to HarperCollins for sending me an advanced copy of this title

content warnings: misgendering and deadnaming of trans character, sexual and physical assault of main character on page, use of trans and lesbian slurs, public outing, suicidal thoughts and ideation, harassment, homophobia

[Mimi · Rating 2 out of 5]

okay, I very rarely do these trigger warnings but since this book is marketed as similar to To All the Boys I've Loved Before and said to be all fun and games, I feel like there need to be trigger warnings so people don't go into this blindly.

Trigger warnings for:
+ casual aphobia
+ lesbophobia in every other chapter, ranging from actual insults "scissor sisters" to internalized lesbophobia and pretending it is the worst thing that someone can be, also the involuntary outing of two lesbians in front of the entire school
+ transphobia (both internalized transphobia and from the love interest, who both passively suggests she does not want to be with Pony because that would make her a lesbian and actively when she tells him to his face that the reason she does not want to be with him is because he is transgender and she does not want to ruin her image by being associated with him)
+ transphobic slurs such as shemale and tranny
+ pressuring the protagonist to come out as transgender (both family members and friends do this and one of them even ostracizes the protagonist when he refuses to come out)
+ very graphic assault of a transgender boy in a bathroom, including violence, slurs and exposing their body
+ suicidal ideation

Like I said, I usually don't do these trigger warnings especially in #ownvoices narratives because I believe every voice is valid but I had nightmares about the assault because I was not expecting it in this book and the thought that someone who is transgender (or anyone who is part of the LGBTQIAP+ community, really) will pick this up and think they are about to get a cute romance á la Lara Jean Covey and Peter Kavinsky when in fact there is a graphic assault scene and mountains of discrimination from almost every character is just too much for me. So please, be warned and only pick this book up if you think you can handle the above mentioned themes.
Take care of yourselves, guys.

[G]

10/14/19

"Stay Gold" ? "Pony" ? THE OUTSIDERS, anyone? Hello????

[Virginia Ronan ♥ Herondale ♥]

I’m on BookTube now! You can find my channel here! =)

First of all: This is not the easy YA book it looks like on the blurb and it tackles many difficult and tough topics. Secondly: I still think that it’s good this book exists and I’ll write a very thorough review about it because "Stay Gold" is one of those books you have to discuss properly.
I hear all the people that didn’t like it, but I also hear those that did. So this is going to be quite a long review.

Stay tuned! Full RTC soon!

____________________________

This book landed on my TBR in June 2020 so it’s been 3 years I wanted to read this.
Well, I guess it’s finally happening now in June 2023! *lol*

I found this in my library and there’s no way I’ll return this unread. 3 years is enough. It’s time to tackle this story! Especially because it has a trans rep and we always need more of them!
Very curious if this will be a good one! =)

Find me on:
My Blog
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__________________________________

Raise your hand if the first thing that came to your mind was:

"Stay gold, Ponyboy... Stay gold..." *sobs*

I love the cover and the plot idea so I'm really looking forward for this book to come out! =)
The best way to find love is when it unexpectedly bites you into your butt. ;-P

[melissa · Rating 1 out of 5]

I spent too many hours thinking about whether I should give this one or two stars. Turns out I'd be too nice if I gave it two stars. All the things I enjoyed about this were brutally canceled by the things I hated. I was so excited about this book when I found out it had a transgender mc and it ended up being my biggest disappointment of the year so far.

First off, the pros: the cover. That was the only thing I liked.

The cons: oh boy, I don't even know what I should start with. Georgia is one of the main characters, Pony's love interest. We get to know her a little at the beginning and we find out she's 'the popular cheerleader who actually has a very lonely life and dreams that don't involve cheerleading at all'. We're supposed to feel empathy for her, but that was nearly impossible. She was supposed to be the person who supported Pony the most and ended up being one of the biggest transphobes in the book. She falls for him and is the biggest sweetheart until of course, he comes out as transgender to her. It's valid if she needed some time to process that, I'm not judging her for that, but she ruined everything by calling him a liar for not coming out sooner (he didn't even lie about anything, he IS a man?????) and comparing him to the ex-boyfriend that cheated on her. Are you sure these are the same things, Georgia, when he didn't feel comfortable or safe to come out in a small town because he could be bullied and harassed?

You're probably thinking: oh, but she'll regret that later and realize that what she said in the heat of the moment isn't what she actually meant to say. WELL, YOU'RE IN FOR A RIDE THEN! She never actually shows she's sorry for saying all of that and doesn't develop at all. There's no redemption that doesn't sound extremely rushed or that makes any sense. And that's not even the only time she said stupid shit! The second time Pony confesses his feelings for her, even if they're mutual, she rejects him just because he's trans and tells him that she can't risk ruining her image at school. And when you think she's going to apologize, she never properly does. She only tells him 'I had some stuff to figure out. But that was then and this is now'. Well, you're forgiven then! What kind of excuse is that? Does the author think this is going to make up for every transphobic shit she said throughout the book? She spent more time thinking about how him being trans will ruin her image than thinking about the guy she's supposed to have a crush on? The chemistry between them was nonexistent.

Now, the thing that probably got on my nerves the most: Max. He's Pony's best friend, also a transgender man. He's out and proud, studies in a big school with many students in the LGBTQ+ community and has nothing to hide because he doesn't need to. He spends 90% of the book pressuring Pony into coming out to everybody, to the point he blackmails him and stops being friends with him because he didn't want to risk his safety by doing that. Pony felt so pressured that he ended up coming out in the middle of a prom, in front of everybody. He also did that to protect two students that were outed earlier and show them that they were not alone, but you can't deny he also felt really pressured and probably would have waited more until he was more comfortable if it wasn't for that. On the same night, when he ends up being beaten by some bullies in the bathroom, Max finally takes responsibility for his actions, which is the least he could do. But instead of recognizing how toxic he was, Pony just pretends nothing happened and keeps being his best friend, even though he's partially guilty for Pony even being there. It's so easy to tell him how proud you are and how brave he is when he would have many other opportunities to come out without breaking a few ribs, isn't it?

Honorable mention: some of Georgia's friends, also cheerleaders, acted like the word 'lesbian' was the most offensive thing you could ever call someone.

Overall, Pony and Georgia didn't have any development or chemistry because Georgia spent way more time thinking about how him being trans would affect her social status, Pony's best friend is a selfish and self-centered guy who blackmails him into coming out, and the message of the book was pretty much 'if you're not out, you're not proud and you're not gonna be happy'. And in case you're in the LGBTQ+ community and you're not out yet, please don't believe that.

You can be proud of yourself even though you're not out yet. Please make sure you're comfortable and safe enough when you decide to come out. Don't let anybody else decide the right time to do it, that's up to YOU. You are not alone.

[Lauren Lanz · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a seriously great book about a transgender teen trying to blend in. I couldn't help thinking about the protagonist's struggles, and if/how they stemmed back to the author's life.

First, a fact: this book is definitely not advertised correctly.
Stay Gold is compared to books like Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda and To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before in it’s synopsis, which couldn’t be more off. These comparisons make the book sound like a rom-com of sorts.
In reality, Stay Gold deals with several heavy and potentially triggering topics like Homophobia, transphobia, suicidal thoughts, outing, physical abuse, hate crimes etc. It is a portrayal of what trans teens experience far too often, told by a trans author.

Now that that’s out of the way, here's for the plot.

~★~ What is this book about? ~★~

Pony just moved schools, and this time, he’s trying to blend in. Unlike at his old school, no one knows he’s transgender here, and Pony intends to keep it that way. It isn’t long before Pony falls for Georgia, a cute cheerleader that’s become his good friend. The only problem is that Pony can’t bring himself to tell her he’s trangender. He’s not prepared to face her reaction for fear that it might ruin everything.

~★~

It wasn’t long before I became glued to this story; Pony was a compelling and gripping narrator with a voice one can’t help but grow fond of. It was disheartening to read about some of the experiences Pony faced, though it was also a great window into the very real discrimination so many face. Georgia’s character growth was executed really well. High schoolers are still young and often have trouble figuring themselves out completely, which was reflected clearly in her character. It was nice to see her mindset change over the course of the book.

Tobly McSmith’s writing wasn’t anything outstanding, though to be fair most contemporaries don’t usually wow me in this sense. I enjoyed Pony’s stream of consciousness, though objectively there wasn’t anything unique about the articulation if that makes sense.

I would recommend this book to many, though be sure to keep the trigger warnings in mind before reading. This isn’t a light story, but it’s one with a message that pays off.

[Ashton · Rating 2 out of 5]

this is going to be more of a rant than a review, because I really can’t be bothered to structure my feelings abt this book.

things I liked: Rocky as a character, the cover. that’s about it.

as much as I wanted to love this story, I’m in the camp of trans people who read it and were really, really disappointed. this book needs every trigger warning out there — transphobia, homophobia (esp. lesbophobia), slurs, sexual and physical assault, family abuse, suicidal ideation, etc. And sure, stories can be about that, but this is marketed as like a YA romance?? It’s not really that?? It is ownvoices, so that makes it marginally better, but it’s still extremely binary and trauma-filled. The summary and cover both scream YA romance, coming-of-age, whatever, and this is absolutely not that.

Pony, the main character, wasn’t very likeable for me; he constantly references pick-up artistry which leans into misogyny. He grows a lot as a person through the book, but that’s very much told and not shown. There are no apologies or actions that don’t come off to me as surface-level, and the conclusion is very much ‘he’s dating the popular cishet girl, is accepted by his cishet peers, and gets to medically transition, so now his life is perfect!’

Both Pony (our main character) and Max (pony’s best friend who’s also trans) feel like poorly-constructed stereotypes of trans people. Max is out, proud, and loud, and Pony is stealth. That’s fine, both of those narratives are real and deserve to be told, but their ‘friendship’ is so odd. Pony tells Max about not wanting to be out at his new school, and Max just doesn’t respect that decision, which doesn’t feel like an actual reaction that’d come from anyone so heavily involved in LGBT+ communities. He continues to push him to come out and be a loud advocate, and I understand his view because I’m a loud-and-proud trans person in my own life, but I also understand that many trans people can’t be that because of their own safety and comfort — and that’s okay!

The novel had so many great opportunities for Pony to discuss or even just address his internalized transphobia, but instead it’s all covered up with justifications for it. Pony’s transness was very much medicalised, which I’d be more comfortable with if he’d presented it as HIS story, but the way it’s presented feels like he’s making everything very matter-of-fact. The happy conclusion is that he’s going to raise enough for his top surgery, which is great, but having surgery is not the end-all be-all to transness, and it’s kind of presented as if it is.

The narrative as a whole also has a giant cis saviour trope, and Pony ends up with Georgia (obviously, everyone saw that coming) without her even apologizing for the awful way she treated him when he came out?? And after Pony comes out to his school, GEORGIA OUTS HIM TO THE ENTIRE INTERNET/WORLD WITHOUT HIS CONSENT WHILE HES IN A HOSPITAL BED. And that’s presented as a lovely, positive ally move. Georgia writes this article talking about being an ally and how much she admires Pony, but she never even addresses how she spent the vast majority of this novel being concerned about her social status if she dates Pony and how people might think she’s a lesbian (which is simply the worst possible thing people could think about you, according to her and her friend group.)

On the note of Pony & Georgia’s relationship, it’s averagely written at best? I feel some level of chemistry between them, but Georgia’s transphobia, as I’ve discussed, is just never countered. On top of that, the fact that Pony’s trans is presented as him “lying” to Georgia, especially throughout the beginning/first 3/4 of the book, and that viewpoint is never countered either.

I enjoyed the plotline with Ted London, but it did feel somewhat underdeveloped, and when that plotline ended, it felt messily wrapped up. I wish it was more substantial, I feel like there could’ve been more meaning there.

I know it’s #ownvoices, and I’m glad it is, but to me, it feels written to make cis people feel better. I definitely wouldn’t recommend this book to cis people, as I feel like they might pick up some really harmful and uncontested views on trans people. And I wouldn’t really recommend it to trans people either, as it’s full of microagressions that are rarely countered, medicalized transness, and violent, traumatic transphobia. This isn’t really a contemporary romance or a coming-of-age YA book.

Why is every trans YA novel a narrative about trauma?

Why is the turning point of every trans YA novel a hate crime?

[MossyMorels · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book really rubbed me the wrong way. This book follows Pony, a transgender teen who just moved schools. At his last school he experiences severe bullying, so he decides to go stealth in his new school. The lesson in this book is meant to be that being stealth is bad, which I don't agree with. Pony has experienced trauma, and goes to a public school in Texas. Going stealth is what is safest for him. But his best friend, max, whos out and proud and goes to a liberal arts school, spend the whole book being awful to pony because hes stealth and guilt tripping him to come out. And the love interest, georgia, is awful. When she first learns pony is trans, she says she was tricked, and the book portrayed that comment as being funny and flirty???? Someone being trans isnt a trick, and that comment is absolutely not cute. She also tells pony multiple times she wont date him cause hes trans and that it will ruin her image, and even considers outing him at one point. And ponys friends are also awful and use tons of trans slurs. But all of these characters are supposed to be good and likeable. Even pony kinda sucks in all the ways he kept pressuring georgia into dating him. It all changes though when pony publicly comes out and is severly assualted. And then suddenly max want to be his friend and is proud of his bravery, georgia is all over him, and his transphobic friends are chill and cool. This book basically says his assualt is a good thing because hes making change! Coming out is no ones buisness but their own. No one is entitled to know someones gender or sexuality. And queer people need to do what they need to stay safe, ones safety is always the priority.

[Larry H · Rating 4 out of 5]

Being true to yourself may be the hardest thing to do, but it’s the only thing. That's the message at the core of Tobly McSmith's Stay Gold .

As a military kid, Pony knows about starting over all too well. Since things at his last school went a little off the rails when it was revealed that he was transgender, for his senior year at a new high school he’s determined things will be different. This time he’s decided simply to pass as a guy and not tell anyone the truth. No one in his life thinks it’s a good idea but he just wants to be normal, you know?

And then on the first day he locks eyes with Georgia, a popular cheerleader. He is instantly smitten.

Georgia feels that same connection when she sees Pony. But she’s a cheerleader, so she’s supposed to date a football player, even if her last relationship ended disastrously. There’s also a lot of things Georgia wishes she could do or say in her own life, but she doesn’t want to deal with the ramifications.

If Pony dates Georgia, how can he keep who he is a secret? Should Georgia follow her heart and mind or do what’s expected of her by her cheerleading teammates and best friends?

Stay Gold is a sweet book that is tremendously thought-provoking, and it raises a lot of questions. Do we have the responsibility to advocate for those like us, or can we just live our lives the way we see fit? Is it wrong to want to keep your own secrets or are you obligated to be open and honest even if that means opening yourself up to abuse or even harm?

While this book is relatively predictable in some ways, it also turns some stereotypes on their head. And of course, I won’t lie and say I didn’t tear up at the end!!

Stay gold, Ponyboy! (Yes, they touch on that, too.) And the Pride Reads keep on rolling...

Check out my list of the best books I read in 2019 at https://itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com/2020/01/the-best-books-i-read-in-2019.html.

Check out my list of the best books of the decade at https://itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com/2020/01/my-favorite-books-of-decade.html.

See all of my reviews at itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com.

Follow me on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/the.bookishworld.of.yrralh/.

[cameron]

DNF- i don’t like the writing style and i’m not up for reading a romance of a transphobe ~changing their mind~ because they accidentally fell for someone trans

[William Morrison · Rating 1 out of 5]

Novel Trigger Warnings: misgendering, homophobia, transphobia, harassment, suicide ideation, violence,

Summarized blurb:
Pony is the new guy at his school. He also happens to be transgender. He decides not to disclose his peers though, as it would complicate everything, including ... whatever this is with his new crush, a smart and charming cheerleader named Georgia. There is more than what meets the eye in this dual-perspective YA novel about what it means to be true to who you are.

My take:
I have a lot of feelings about this book. I listened to it on audio, and I finished it very quickly because I was captivated by McSmith's take on both Pony's and Georgia's perspectives. Up until the second half of the book, I was so excited to see such nuanced trans representation, and I really identified with Pony's feelings towards Georgia and himself.

With this being said, I would not personally recommend it for transgender people, much less transgender teens. As a transgender man myself, I was severely taken aback by the ending where Pony is assaulted in the bathroom by two cisgender men who beat him up, pin him down, and take his binder off of him as well as the overly showy response that those at his high school had where they supported him . I was also relatively displeased at the perpetuated trope of violence being what it takes or should take for minorities to be treated with dignity and the fact that Georgia only ends up with Pony after he comes out of the closet and realizes that people don't really care too much about his identity .

It appears clear to me that this book, while well-written, was really not created for the transgender community. It would be an especially great reading for cisgender allies to better understand how one individual’s trans experience might play out. But in the same way that the movie Boys Don't Cry isn't a movie that trans people are going to have on repeat in the background, Stay Gold isn't going to be an ideal read for most transgender people.

[nat · Rating 1 out of 5]

no

[Monte Price · Rating 5 out of 5]

I went into this book expecting it to be a typical romcom setup, and I think that after walking away that's mostly what I got.

The story is told in altering perspectives of our two love interests, Pony and Georgia, chronically Pony's first semester at his new school and his romance with Georgia. I think that McSmith did a really good job of setting up the romance and then keeping the characters apart. Pony is a character that I'm going to think about for the rest of the year.

I don't have a lot to say about a lot of the middle of the book, because again I think that McSmith did an excellent job of building that tension. I will say that there was a moment in the third act of the book that was violent in nature, but I think that the book hands out consequences immediately and it's ultimately not my place to tell a trans author how to tell his trans story. Though I can see how that scene could be upsetting for a lot of readers.

I would recommend this read, but know that the end does have a rather traumatic scene. That said, again, it's an excellent book with engaging arcs and well rounded characters.

[JD · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don't often include reviews with my ratings but I found myself so conflicted after reading this book that I felt the need to say something and actually ended up writing a considerable amount. I don't know if it will add anything to the mix of reviews- my conflicted feelings are similar to those of others who noted the significant trigger warnings and problematic elements of this book - and I wanted to love every bit of this book. A YA book about a transman, written by a transman, with Outsiders references? What's there not to love?

Unfortunately, much more than I expected. Please note as you move forward, that a lot of the trigger warnings noted by others will be present in this review, so be mindful of that as you progress.

I would say my final rating is probably closer to 2.5 stars than 2 - but I felt I couldn't give a 3 - and the low score is mainly because of the problematic elements and trigger warnings, which I feel could have been mitigated, but were not because parts of the book - namely the ones where things could have slowed down to unpack the problematic messages being given and to explore them further in a way that would have given the message that these problematic elements are problematic rather than a way to create unity and equality - seemed to move strangely fast, while other parts of the book seemed unnecessarily long. Particularly the end, which is where I think there could have been some really amazing ways of addressing the problematic elements, came on so fast that there were times when I literally thought I'd missed a page or two and would pause and go back, only to see that it wasn't that I missed anything, things were just moving that quickly and becoming disjointed. One part that stood out to me in particular was the "pivotal moment" where our main character decides to out himself to the school because two lesbians were outed at the homecoming dance in a really awful way. One moment they're being outed, the next our main character is on the stage and announcing that he's transgender, after an entire book of wanting to be stealth and not wanting to be out. There's no internal dialogue going into that moment. There's no real weighing of the pros/cons of stepping forward or considering all of the elements that went into that choice. He's just up there and saying it, as though he teleported onto the stage.

Which is one of the problematic elements - namely that there's this narrative throughout that trans people need to be out and open about their gender identity. Even though as a result of being out, the main character is the victim of a hate crime, that's still upheld as the right thing to do because, as you see in the ending, being the victim of a hate crime automatically brings your school together and creates support for the LGBTQA community. The entire book seems to frame this narrative of "If you're out and open, you're supporting the LGBTQA community but if you're going stealth or in the closet, that makes you selfish and damages the community." Even though the main character repeatedly says that it's unfair to put that responsibility on him and that it's up to each trans person to determine whether they are out or not, there's really no support for his position from external sources and given that he outs himself at the end - with significant consequences but also benefits because the community rallies behind him - that gives the message that trans people need to be out, regardless of the cost. I think this could have been avoided if there were multiple trans friends that the main character had, offering multiple perspectives on being stealth vs. being out, rather than it being just his one friend who pushed that agenda and then ultimately "won" that argument because of the ending. If it were framed more as a choice in the moment that the main character outed himself, where he'd considered all of the options and been supported in all of the options, I think that would have gone a long way in reducing how problematic that felt.

I think what also really got me about the ending was just how fast it seemed and how quickly things became wrapped up in a bow within a sentence or two. Hillcrest went from being a place that did not seem inclusive or supportive, with multiple characters making all sorts of homophobic, transphobic, and other problematic remarks, to suddenly being incredibly supportive, all because of a hate crime. The fact that there had been those remarks made by others was just swept under the rug with basically a, "Yeah, we shouldn't have made jokes and wouldn't have if we known there were LGBT among us" which is super not cool because that 1) misses the fact that it's built into the culture of the school and 2) that's a shitty reason to not make those sorts of remarks. Then our main character's father went from being incredibly unsupportive, transphobic, and outright abusive to supporting the main character because he read some statistics on violence and suicide in the trans community and discovered that his own child had contemplated suicide. The fact that his child had been the victim of a hate crime didn't change his opinion at all but those statistics did. The suicide piece also felt very much swept under the rug, in that our main character is constantly thinking of suicide for the final 1/4th of the book, and that 1) no one around him seems to take him seriously when he brings that up or really even acknowledges that he's having those thoughts and 2) that those thoughts just seem to miraculously go away because of the main character's love interest writing an article that goes viral and increases support for him. There's not even a, "Wow, with all of this support, maybe things aren't so hopeless" moment. It's just that one second he's thinking he'd be better off dead and the next he's crowned homecoming king and everything is fine. Never mind that he was just the victim of a hate crime or that he can't bind for at least a year due to injuries received - and probably can't have top surgery for a significant time as well, even if the money is raised, due to those injuries - suddenly everything is fine at the end because he's been given some acceptance from the school and parents and people are doing a GoFundMe for his top surgery.

I also definitely have issues with the hate crime being the turning point, which seems a really common thread in YA LGBTQA - and especially trans specific - literature. I think there's definitely space to explore hate crimes and the impact that has on people and from a writing standpoint, I can see how that becomes the climax of novels because it is so significant, but I'm also getting really tired of seeing stories about the LGBTQA community, where a hate crime or assault is the point that the main character grows or changes and those around them grown and change, so that everything is better moving forward. I would much rather be seeing a novel where the hate crime is the beginning - and off-screen because we don't need graphic depictions of that - and the climax is a different sort of pivotal moment. Especially in the rom-com subgenre where that's not needed at all and wouldn't be present in cishet rom-coms. I would much rather that the climax include the moment where the trans person has gender-affirming surgery or gets engaged to the love interest or even is crowned homecoming king/queen, after many trials and tribulations. It concerns me to have the hate crime as the pivotal moment because that seems to paint hate crimes in a somewhat positive light - like, since this happened, the main character gets what they were hoping for and the community is supportive and everything is good. It also doesn't give much time to process the aftermath because it happens in the climax, which, again, seems to diminish the significance of that event.

I also did not particularly appreciate the entire part where the main character is hanging out with two of the people making really problematic homophobic and transphobic jokes and is all, "I'm with the boys" even though these two boys are incredibly misogynistic and overall gross. It kinda gave the message of, "To be a transman who passes, you need to buy into the most problematic elements of toxic masculinity." I would have really appreciated seeing the main character actually struggle with this experience of being around two people who are representing these worst elements and considering whether these are the people he wants to call his friends, rather than just having an occasional, "Oh, they were transphobic, that feels bad to me" moment or "I wish they wouldn't say things like that because it's not cool" and just go back to hanging out with them. Especially since these were the two characters who were forgiven because they acknowledged that they shouldn't have been making those sorts of jokes around members of the LGBTQA community - not because everything they said or did was shitty. It was actually even worse because they literally said, "Yeah, we thought you might be trans" when he outed himself, which makes those jokes 100x worse than they already were (which, spoiler alert, was already pretty freaking bad). It would have been nice to see the main character build other, healthy connections with guys who are not jerks and gross and to be able to find his place within the community and to learn that to be a man, he doesn't need to buy into toxic masculinity.

That piece does worry me because I don't want that to be the message that younger trans people are getting. Someone whose opinion I value deeply once told me - "I see transmen as special because they have something different than cisgender men because of the experiences they've had in life and the perspective that they can bring to the masculine community." I would have liked to see more of that, with our main character discovering that he doesn't have to be stereotypical or buy into that toxic BS and can be the type of person who improves the masculine community, not just adds to the worst parts.

And finally, also, with our love interest, she goes from saying she could never date a trans person and that she wouldn't want to be seen as a lesbian by being with our main character, to suddenly being incredibly supportive, all because he publicly outs himself to the school. Suddenly all of those feelings that she had change and she loves him 100% and is putting all of her support behind him. There are certainly hints throughout that she has feelings for him underneath of that transphobia and bigotry but the catalyst for her change feels really inauthentic and the fact that our main character is immediately like, "Cool, we're together now" also felt rushed and uncomfortable.

As a whole, this review was a hard one to write because I wanted to like this book so badly and there were parts that I did. In particular, I hate writing it because I want to support trans authors - it means so much to me, as a trans person, to see that more trans voices are being put out there in the media because I never had that representation growing up. But I felt so conflicted and uncomfortable after reading this book that I really felt the need to say something. I don't necessarily think that the author intentionally put these messages out there but as a reader, this was what I came out of it with.

I'm certainly going to still follow Tobly McSmith's work - I'm always open to second chances. But I couldn't let this book sit without commenting on my reactions.

[Gee Rothvoss · Rating 1 out of 5]

Trust me; I wanted to like this book. A romance between a trans man and a cis woman, in a world of M/M trans romances? Bring it on. A cute, light read to make me smile during these long winter nights? Yes, please. Unfortunately, "Stay Gold" was neither romantic, nor cute and light, and I found myself quite literally throwing my Kindle device against the pillow a couple of times. Instead of the feel-good love story it's been marketed to be, this book turned out to be an enormously triggering, dark story packed with unchallenged transphobia, and dangerous messages for cis and trans readers alike.


***SPOILERS AHEAD!***

I'd like to say, before I start my review, that I think I know where the author wanted to go with this. He's a trans man himself, and the book being #OwnVoices, among other things, made me want to read it. I think he meant to write a story about finding strength in your identity, but sadly, he didn't get there. Had he challenged all the transphobia in this book, and had certain things been done differently, it probably would've worked out! But he didn't, and they weren't, so it didn't. I don't doubt the author's own experiences' validity, and maybe this is a story that will resonate with many who have a similar journey behind them. Still, I believe that a lot of other trans people wouldn't feel like the story accurately depicts their journey (although it would definitely make them feel triggered).


First of all, "Stay Gold" doesn't include trigger warnings anywhere, which I think a story like this one needs. Specially when it's been marketed as similar to "To All The Boys I've Loved Before", which couldn't be more inoffensive. I need everyone reading this to decide whether they should pick the book up that there's the following things in it:

*Abusive family,
*Anxiety,
*Beating,
*Casual aphobia,
*Deadnaming,
*Dysfunctional family,
*Emotional abuse,
*Gaslighting,
*Hospitalisation,
*Lesbophobia (both internalised and actual insults),
*Misgendering,
*Non-con outing,
*Non-con touching of binder,
*Slurs (lesbophobic and transphobic),
*Suicidal ideation,
*Transphobia (both internalised and actual statements, by both non-trans people, and a trans guy),
*Very graphic physical assault of a trans boy in a bathroom,
*Violence.

There are more things, but these are the ones I can name off the top of my head. Please know that all of these go unchallenged.


Where shall I start explaining everything that went wrong with this? Maybe with the plot itself. In a nutshell, the story focuses on transgender boy Pony and cheerleader Georgia, who attend the same school in Texas. As soon as he arrives, both of them catch each other's eye, and soon enough start a friendship in which it's painfully clear that both parties have romantic feelings for each other. Which sounds very lovely and all that, but this simply isn't what the book is about. Instead, the book is about Pony and Georgia denying their own feelings while she hurts him with heaps of transphobia; Pony being depressed and gaslit both by his best friend and by his crush; Georgia being an entitled, shallow, and transphobic brat; and everything coming to an end that's both hard to believe, and definitely not what it should be.

How can the book be transphobic, you may wonder, if it was written by a trans person? Well, it simply is. As a cis reader, I'm always careful to not speak over trans people - but this book was shitty enough in this sense that the trans person I was reading it with couldn't even finish it, from how triggering it was. That should give you an idea of just how harmful this story can be. But, by all means, allow me to explain!

1. One of the main characters in the story is Max, one of Pony's only friends, who happens to be very vocal about his transness. Throughout the entire book, Max doesn't ever stop trying to force Pony to be "out and proud" as trans, and disrespecting Pony's choice to go stealth *in Texas*. It comes to a point in which Max stops talking to Pony because he won't share a petition online, thus making Pony have an anxiety attack and blame himself and his choice for the loss of his friend. Although not explicitly, this later on leads Pony to force himself to come out, and ends up with him getting beaten up. Max's whole discourse revolves around the idea that you MUST be out of the closet publicly to be truly queer, and Pony ends up buying it. What kind of message is this, I ask? So now queer people, and specifically such a vulnerable community as the trans one, owe everyone else their identity, or else they aren't really queer? This is absolute bullshit. The choice to come out is deeply personal, and it's a *choice*. Assuming that you must come out to be valid is not only disrespectful of other people's personal boundaries; it's also dangerous in many environments. (SUCH AS TEXAS!) The cherry on top was Max admitting that he didn't care for trans activism as much as for the way he felt like it wasn't fair that Pony got to go stealth, and he didn't. It was mostly out of envy and selfishness that Max wanted Pony to live through the same hardships as him by coming out, which is quite an ugly take on allyship between trans people.

2. In that same sense, Georgia accuses Pony of "tricking her" and "lying to her" when he comes out as transgender after they've kissed. According to her, he was deceiving her by not telling her that he's trans, and it's an offense that makes her stop talking to him. This happens IRL, sadly, and it would've been fine to depict this..., if she had apologised. But Georgia NEVER apologises, not a single time, to Pony.

3. Which takes me to cis saviourism, and the use of Pony's transness for the enrichment of cis people's lives. On the one hand, after Pony's beaten up in the school toilet, Georgia decides to write an article talking about transness; and the article is enough to change many minds and hearts, including that of Pony's transphobic, abusive parent. I shit you not! There's a scene in which she talks to Pony's father after he deadnames his child, and turns him into enough of an ally that he donates money for his son's top surgery. Years of his son being out in their house only made this man hate him more, but the second a cis cheerleader says "yo, this is transphobic, stop xoxoxo", he changes? Never ever have I seen such a blatant act of cis saviourism. On the other hand, in said article she literally says that Pony "is brave", "inspiring", and that "knowing him has changed her"; not because of him per se, but rather, because of his being trans. Pony's transness is either something she despises, or something that moves her, but in either case it seems to exist just to affect Georgia. She never stops centering Pony's experiences and struggles in herself, in how it affects her and how she feels about it. It's disgusting to see something like this go unchallenged, since neither Georgia nor Pony ever think twice about her attitude.

4. Seriously. At one point, after saying niceties such as that "dating Pony would make her a lesbian" , a teacher tells her that her words have power. Does she think about Pony? Yes. Does she think about how her shit hurt him, and how she's been a transphobe? Nope. Instead, she's sad because she really had this big crush and now she can't have the person she wants. It doesn't even cross her mind to think about how he felt when she said that crap, or how her discourse may have affected him. Not for a single heartbeat. It's simply awful.

5. There's a ton of victim blaming that also goes unchallenged. Max tells Pony that he's hurting and ashaming his community for going stealth, and at one point, it's clear that he resents Pony because his own choice to be out of the closet means that transphobes come his way. When Georgia hears about Pony being transgender, and has that absolutely revolting discourse about how he lied to her, the first thing Pony's sister says is "I told you". So on. Pony has to bend to everyone's will, change his ways, and face traumatic stuff such as being driven back to the high school where he was beaten up by his cis saviour because "people have gathered here in your support". And he has to apologise to, and change for, everyone. But nobody EVER apologises to Pony, or addresses how their actions and words hurt Pony, or respects Pony's boundaries and choices. Nobody. Ever. Does that. In the end, the trans person has to be what others think they ought to "if they want to be valid", and it honestly sucks so much.

6. In one scene, Georgia fucking tries to slip her hand under Pony's binder to see how tight it is, and here I SHIT YOU NOT. I don't think I need to explain how horrible this was, and how much I loathe that it was never addressed again.

7. Pony himself has a lot of internalised transphobia he never addresses. For starts, he talks about "having been born in the wrong body", which is such an outdated and transmed way to talk about transness? While some people do experience dysphoria in this way, heaps of others don't, and it was quite a shock to see this used here. And then..., he keeps making himself do "manly stuff" that he simply knows isn't right, just because it's what "real men" do; and saying that he's not "a real man". Again, I shit you not.

8. Pony's friends at high school have heaps of transphobic comments, and use transphobic slurs. But these never get challenged, and what's worse, at the end of the book they say that they "kind of always knew" that Pony was trans. Which would mean that they suspected, and they were transphobic anyways.

9. The final plottwist doesn't make sense. So Pony comes out in a school in Texas, and heaps of people are uncomfortable about it, but when he gets beaten up everyone converts to trans allyship? And they even donate money for his chest op! Convenient. But this was the what irked me the most; it was the way Georgia and Max drove Pony back to the school where he was given a beating violent enough to put him in the hospital. There, both a small group of allies and one of transphobes have gathered, so obviously Pony doesn't really feel like getting off the car. What does he get told? That all those people "are there for him", and that if he's nervous, Georgia will hold his hand. Nobody cares whether this is a hella traumatic place/thing to bring Pony to, and nobody gives him the option to not get inside the school where, I repeat, he was given a beating violent enough to put him in the hospital. Instead, it's told as if Pony owed them getting in there, and as if his trauma came second to everyone else's need to see the trans boy who was beaten up.

10. THE TRANS MC IS READING HARRY POTTER TO LOOK MANLY!?!?!? I would call this a joke were it not for the fact that IT'S NOT FUNNY.

11. Pony gets deadnamed. This is something I hoped I wouldn't see in a trans author's book, but here we are. In fact, his deadname is used as a plot device when Georgia won't stop wanting to know it, and again later to prompt Our Cis Saviour Georgia to have a talk with Pony's dad about him being transphobic. (O' the irony)

12. I've mentioned this before, but I couldn't stand the way Pony was told to "stay brave", that he was "inspiring" and "an example", and so on. Queer people, just as disabled or racialised people, shouldn't have to be brave in the face of violence and discrimination. It's just like telling a kid who's being bullied in the playground to stay brave--I think everyone agrees that you'd never tell the kid such a thing. You wouldn't call him inspiring for ensuring bullying, or call him an example for putting up with it. Also, you wouldn't expect him to apologise to his bullies. Yet these are all things that happen to Pony, and nobody even thinks twice about how he shouldn't have to "be brave" and how he doesn't exist just so everyone else can be "inspired", and have a character development arc. This rubbed me the wrong way so much.

13. Georgia considers publicly outing Pony as a revenge when she sees him talking to the girl Georgia's ex cheated on her with. Even though she doesn't do that, because someone else distracts her with some other thing, she never shows any regret over having planned to do it. She genuinely feels entitled to outing Pony, because in her (stupid) brain it's only fair, and never even thinks twice about it afterwards. This kind of transphobic behaviour in her keeps happening, and because it's never challenged or addressed, it's normalised as if it were totally reasonable.

14. In case you haven't noticed by now, Pony is reduced to his transness. He doesn't get a personality, and he sure doesn't get to be relevant for anything other than his being trans. The way others see him, and interact with him, depends purely on his transness, and whether they accept it or not. It's incredibly heartbreaking to see a trans person reduced to the former, rather than acknowledged as the latter.


Transphobia isn't even the only issue with the book. The character development is bland, at best, because the characters are weak from the start. Aside from his transness, what's there to know about Pony? Who is he? How's he like? No idea. Georgia; why does she always make up ridiculous stories? To be a quirky MC, I guess, but in truth she's simply annoying. Why is she a cheerleader? Does she like it? Does she ever rehearse? As a reader, I've felt wayyy more invested in stories about fern pots (seriously! Do check out Jeremy Ray's "The Houseplant") than in these two's. They don't even have any chemistry, in my opinion? It's just awkward to see them interact. One of the reasons why it is so is Georgia, of course; the bloody brat doesn't want to date Pony, but she still feels entitled to judging who he talks to, and to considering outing him as a revenge for him talking to the girl her ex-boyfriend snogged at a party. BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY THAT'S ACCEPTABLE. And! You guessed it--she never ever has second thoughts about it! She's a really controlling, selfish character, and it honestly scares me to see so many readers loving her.

Also, worth mentioning how Pony totally disregards Georgia's firm "I need space from you" and freaking drops by her house to try to get her to talk to him. Even if she's awful, she said no, and Pony doesn't even think about how that should be respected. It was downright creepy, and I think anyone in Georgia's position would feel very intimidated and low-key stalked.

There's only two good things; getting single dad rep, and having "the bitch who stole Georgia's boyfriend" being able to explain her side of the story. Period.


In general, though, this book was excruciating, and I wouldn't recommend it for the world. It's hurtful towards trans sensitivities, and it's also empowering narratives that are outdated or toxic regarding transness. With all the pain in my heart, I have to say that I will definitely not be reading other books by the author, or recommending this one.

[Natasha Niezgoda · Rating 5 out of 5]

STAY GOLD, PONY BOY. STAY GOLD



YEP! Another YA that had me crying at the end and it was so beautiful and so honest!

Pony is a trans youth who wants to be seen for who he is and not what he isn’t. But high schoolers can be cruel. So he’s starting fresh at a new school hoping to forge relationships based on his character and not just the labels that are placed on him.



Friends... listen to meeeeee: you need to read this! 👏🏽 This is such a special story. It’s one of love, courage, and belonging. But it follows a very grave and raw road to get there.



Stay Gold exposes the painful truths of trans youths - transphobia, gender dysphoria, bullying, shaming, self-harm, dead-naming.

Yes, this isn’t your typical light and fluffy young adult romance. And nor should it be. This is your window into a small part of the reality that our friends, like Pony, live. And you get the honor of walking beside him. To see, to hear, to listen, to feel what he feels.

And you also get to celebrate him!



Pony is a character I will hold onto for a long time. He nestled his way into my heart and taught me the authentic power of being true to who you are and never wavering from that.

Please add this to your TBR. And parents, I highly recommend reading this with your teens. Pony needs more allies that are his age and your kids could be that for him.

Eeeek, I’m crying. Okay. Gosh. 4.5 stars and all the messy tears for Stay Gold.

[Lyn❤Loves❤Listening to Real Voices Only!!!!❤️🎧📚 Addict ON HIATUS · Rating 4 out of 5]

Audio - 5 Stars
Story - 3.5 Stars

This was too YA for me, but there were some really great parts that made it worth finishing.

[fer bañuelos · Rating 4 out of 5]

*4.25*

What a beauty of a book.

Antes que nada, dejaré una lista de trigger warnings porque esta historia lidia con escenas bastante fuertes: transfobia, homofobia, violencia física en contra la comunidad, sacar a alguien del closet sin su consentimiento, ideación suicida, deadnaming

Stay Gold, en inicio, se empieza a leer como una comedia romántica más. Pero mientras más avanzas se convierte en mucho más. Este libro es una proclamación orgullosa de ser quien eres, de mantenerse fiel a tu identidad, y de luchar por tu lugar.

Como quise este libro. Desde el inicio Pony y Georgia me fueron ganando, y muy pronto me encontraba deseoso de seguir con la lectura porque ya les habia agarrado un cariño enorme. Y cuando este libro se fue poniendo un poco más... serio? (o se si esa es la palabra) solo me terminó por encantar más.

Durante la lectura me sentía extremadamente conmovido por Pony. Su historia ES IMPORTANTE. Y sí, a lo largo del libro hay muchas cosas "negativas" a su alrededor, pero considero que son igual de importantes. La deconstrucción de Georgia, los problemas con su familia, el porqué de las acciones de los demás; todo agrega a pintar una imagen mucho más realista y me encantó como lo hizo Tobly. Claro que hubieron cosas que, como persona parte de la comunidad, siento de una manera extremadamente personal (como que Pony haya decidido empezar el año sin comentarle a nadie de su identidad, o la presión que puedes sentir por gente dentro de tu misma comunidad de como vivir "correctamente" tu expresión ya sea sexual o de género) y creo que eso es a lo que más cariño le tuve del libro: lo humano que fue el viaje de Pony y Georgia, sus altos y bajos y como me enamoraron por completo desde el inicio. Hubieron escenas muy fuertes, algunas que me dolieron demasiado (de hecho, los últimos dos capítulos me la pasé llorando lol) pero dentro de tanta oscuridad salió algo muy lindo para concluir la historia, y dios mio que bonita historia.

Este libro es un ejemplo muy claro de porque considero muy importante leer a autores de la comunidad tomar poder de sus historias y contarlas como ellos desean. No me cabe duda que Tobly McSmith puso bastante de él, y que mejor manera de aprender, de educarse sobre la experiencia ajena, que de alguien que, potencialmente, la ha vivido en carne propia. Quede fascinado con su trabajo y de verdad que quise mucho mucho a estos personajes.

Tuve uno que otro problemita con el pacing de la historia, como que el paso del tiempo era confuso, y también con que ciertas cosas sucedian "detrás de escena" y nos enterábamos una vez que habían terminado, además de una que otra cosa que me habría gustado que se desarrollaran un poco más porque a mi parecer quedaron un poco al aire, pero en general mi disfrute de esta historia fue enorme.

Quiero seguir leyendo a este autor, porque de verdad quedé fascinado con Stay Gold. Denle una oportunidad!!!!

[LW · Rating 4 out of 5]

So...I've enjoyed the 111 pages of this book I've read, but I just learned that there's self harm and suicidal thoughts later on in the book, and I can't handle that dark stuff right now.

DNF. Not the book's fault, but I'm trying to read more lighthearted books. However, I do think this is an important book to read, so I'll return to it someday.

[Iselin · Rating 1 out of 5]

I’m oof-ing. This was a big fat OOF for me.

Full disclosure: I’m not transgender. Therefore my opinion on this book and the issues it addresses doesn’t carry as much weight as that of a trans person. Now you’ve been made aware.
It has been several years since I last read a book that made me this uncomfortable. The characters are all god-awful and underdeveloped and the transphobia runs deep in all of their veins. I know it’s Texas but is it that bad out there in the wild, wild west?

When Georgia, the love interest, finds out Pony is transgender, her comment is: "I’m the one who got tricked." No one tricked you, Georgia. Trans people aren’t liars or con-artists. She follows it up with this charming comment: "Pony, my ex-boyfriend lied to me. Big time. I did like you. But you lied to me. If I can’t trust you, I can’t be with you." Ah, comparing the boy who cheated on you and showed your boobs to the whole school with someone who stayed in the closet to avoid being killed, how cute of you.

Georgia and Pony also have this conversation: "Would you have kissed me if you knew I was trans?" "I don’t know," I lie. So you’re the liar here, then, Georgia? But straight after that, you say: "Pony ... are you lying to everyone all the time?" Manipulative. But sure.

I’m not American but I’m starting to sense that there’s something seriously wrong with the whole football team/cheerleader-scheme y’all have. The cheerleaders are grossly homophobic; "There’s a lesbian on the cheerleading team." "We’re only 20 girls. We could figure it out and have a talk with her." "I bet it’s ___, she’s always lingering in the locker room." The prank-war is also heinous. Pulling down someone’s pants in public without their consent is sexual harassment, and shoving someone on the ground, stealing from them and calling them a slur is a hate crime.

Georgia is scared of lesbianism, too: "If I date Pony, does that make me a lesbian?" No, Georgia. Because he’s a man. You might not like the parts he has and that’s fine. I wouldn’t be judging. But a lesbian is a woman who like women and Pony isn’t one.

"And ... I’m not a lesbian. Or whatever I would be if I dated a trans-guy." You’d be straight. Stop. Go read a book.

This next excerpt is also gross to me: "He’s a total dud. But who am I to judge? I may or may not be dating a transgender guy." Because being transgender apparently makes you a "dud." I will admit I’m not a native english speaker, but I had a feeling I knew what that word meant, so I googled it, and dud is defined as: "a thing that fails to work properly or is otherwise unsatisfactory or worthless," or "a person that proves to be a failure." I don’t know what she intended to say there but I sure know I don’t appreciate it.

Georgia also has NO integrity. She thinks: "I would like to date him but I know me. I’d be paranoid that his secret would get out and what people would think of me." That’s what you’d worry about if Pony’s secret got out? Not his well-being, safety and mental health, but your stupid high school reputation. Nice. Stellar.

Another character that should be hit over the head with a book is Max, who ends his friendship with Pony because he won’t out himself for the “cause.” Being in the closet is what protects Pony. Visibility is important but it’s a personal choice, and a privilege. Max goes to a liberal arts high school in a bigger city and should shut the fuck up about how Pony chooses to live his life.
Georgia gets progressively more annoying, saying she can’t date Pony because she “can’t be connected to that kind of thing.” Georgia: is a transphobe. Also Georgia: “why can’t I just be friends with this trans-guy?”

It takes a dark turn with some very explicit suicidal ideation and holy shit this book was falsely advertised. This isn’t a cute, summery rom-com for “fans of Jenny Han.” This is torture porn.
At the homecoming dance, two queer girls are outed as “secret scissor sisters” and “lesbos” Pony outs himself on stage to comfort them and is beaten silly/sexually harassed in the bathroom by two bigoted criminals the minute he comes out and Max WONDERS why he chose to stay in the closet.
At this point, I was done with this book. I know hate crimes happen. A lot. But I’m so tired of reading queer stories that are just ... sad. What sort of hope does that leave? The Trevor Project statistic-dump that followed made this book seem like a statement that should have been made in a serious article and not in a YA book.

Pony’s dad is cartoonishly evil for the first 300 pages or so before he turns around the last minute. Apparently he bullies his son “because he loves him,” and pays 2000 dollars towards top surgery because Georgia managed to cis-splain trans issues to him in the car. Took her about 10 minutes and a poorly written article.

And to top it all off there’s a fucking protest and Pony and Georgia are made homecoming king & queen. Which would not have happened in real life, at least not in Texas, but I’ll swallow it, I guess. God.

[Elias · Rating 2 out of 5]

The fact that I was expecting a cute rom-com when I picked this up and it turned into a big firey mess of trans and queerphobia was such an unpleasant suprise. But sure, as an issue book, it's pretty realistic, but shit there's so much transphobia and overall queerphobia that never gets challenged that it still makes me feel bad now, weeks later.

l really wanna throw all the people in this book in the trash except Pony himself and his sister, cause they were all absolutely awful. Max especially pissed me off, the way he was putting SO MUCH pressure on Pony to be open, when that was not at all what Pony himself wanted (and it leads to him getting assaulted). And don't get me started on his so-called "friends" who were transphobic af and said slurs that ended up with Pony getting a panic attack, but hey it was only a "st*pid joke". And Georgia, god I can't even bring myself to start with her.

The thing is that if you're gonna write a (ya) book full of awful shit, at least you have to properly challenge it, which this book doesn't, like at all.

I would never put this in the hands of a baby trans person, and if you are a (young) trans person trying to figure things out, you don't have to be a transgender advocate if you don't want to, it's perfectly fine to aspire to be and being stealth if that's what feels right to you. And you are deserving of all the love and a good supporting environment!

Cw for physical assault, use of t-and h-slur, transphobia, TERF rhetoric, suicidal thoughts, internalized transphobia, unsupportive parents, dysphoria, toxic masculinity, outing, panic attacks

[jay · Rating 1 out of 5]

Can we normalize putting trigger warnings in books?

Podcasts are doing it for every single episode and yet, only one in fifty books that I read has them. Why? Do you want your readers to be triggered and have a mental breakdown when reading your books? Cause that's how you get your readers to have a mental breakdown.

Trigger warning:
- transphobia
- internalized transphobia
- homophobia (especially towards wlw)
- misogyny
- use of slurs
- deadnaming
- mention of suicide/suicidal thoughts
- pressure to come out/forced coming out
- extensive description of a violent hate crime

And I probably even forgot a bunch.

And I mean, you are allowed to write books like that, but it's also marketed towards 14-year-olds? It literally says "Audience: ages 14 and up" on the last page. How is that okay?

The blurb makes this out to be a cute and soft love story. And it's not.

Funny and poignant, clear-eyed and hopeful, Stay Gold is a story about finding love - and finding yourself.

What about this was hopeful? Which part was fun? The casual banter between Pony and Georgia? I mean I guess. I can hardly remember it though, between, you know, all the transphobia.

You are making your readers feel safe and then push them into heavy topic after heavy topic with no warning. Sure, a 14 year-old is allowed to read about the "harsh cruel world", but not this unprepared? Not when you make them believe this will be fun and wholesome. Shit man, I am 23 and I didn't want to be thrown into this mess unprepared.

I don't mind a book dealing with heavy topics and I agree own-voices books are important, but please don't pretend your book is this wholesome coming-of-age love story when all it does is trigger your readers' own dysphoria.

If you are trans and looking for some nice and uplifting representation, look away. Do yourself a favor and go do some fun self-care activity instead.

[Rachel Aranda · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.75 stars

This book felt like a typical YA contemporary romance with a realistic look at a transman’s journey. It’s so nice reading a book like this because it helps trans representation, gives statistics, and gives us a way to support them become who they were meant to be. Everyone should be able to find a book they feel represents themselves and feel like any other “normal” person. Not every journey looks like what’s in the book but sadly some do have to face all these things at once. It’s so upsetting to me that anyone has to face issues to be accepted and seen for who they truly are.

I got sucked into this story as I grew pretty invested in the lives of Pony, Georgia, and their families. Pony is adorable and deserves all the things he desires. Georgia needs to grow and do better with her choices, and it’s thankfully on the road to doing that. I’d be curious to see what would happen to them in a sequel. If I’m completely honest though, I didn’t love the book as much as my friends did. It’s an addicting read with really good characters but I feel like the story could have been stronger and a bit more impactful with the story not being rushed at the end and side characters being more fleshed out. For these reasons, I have to lean more on the high 3 star side instead of giving this book a 4 star rating even though the ending almost pushed it to it.

[a. · Rating 2 out of 5]

note : this is an ownvoices novel for transgender rep.

tw : deadnaming & misgendering of trans character, on-page physical and sexual assault, contemplation of suicide, on-page outing, use of slurs against trans and lesbian characters, homophobia, harassment.

rep :
🏳️‍🌈 trans mc
🏳️‍🌈 side lesbian character
🏳️‍🌈 side bisexual / pansexual characters
🏳️‍🌈 side trans character
🏳️‍🌈 side minor ( off - page ) polyamorous relationship

*

S T A Y G O L D

i'm extremely conflicted about this book.

on the one hand, you've got to hand it to the author for putting out an ownvoices story featuring a portrayal of a trans main character despite god-knows-how-many hurdles. but on the other end, there were a few issues i had with this book.

firstly, i went into this story expecting something else entirely. everything about this book, from the pretty cover to the comparisons ( "perfect for fans of david levithan, becky albertalli and jenny han." ) screamed that this was going to be a contemporary fluffy romance. i wasn't too irked about the fact that it wasn't entirely fluff, but while reading i felt like i had been misled into believing the book was something it turned out to not be. as it progressed, the scenes in the book were becoming more and more difficult to read, in the sense that it discussed and portrayed heavy topics which made me feel disturbed. if that was the case with me, a cis individual, i don't know how it will be perceived by a trans person, especially a closeted trans person. again, i'm not trying to say that the issues and problems faced by transpersons shouldn't be portrayed -- just that i didn't expect it to get as heavy as it did.

for the most part, i liked georgia, our mc pony's ( yes, his name's pony. pony jacobs ) li. she was quirky enough, flawed and funny, at least until she became transphobic. of course, later on she stops being insensitive, but we don't see her actively repenting for the fact that she was as inconsiderate to pony as she was. it isn't just the sort of things she thought, it's also what she said — i.e wondering out loud if dating him would make her a lesbian, asking him multiple times about the time "when he was a girl", amongst other incidents.

there's also the fact that when he does come out to georgia as trans, she says that she needs time to process it ( which is okay, i guess ) and that he's a liar ( NOT OKAY ). note that she accused of him being a liar primarily because of her own selfish reasons. oh, and he apologizes *makes frustrated noises*.

oh, and there's the character of max, a fellow trans character and pony's bestie who constantly pressurizes and at one point threatens to stop being his friend if he doesn't come out. apparently if pony doesn't come out it's a disgrace upon the entire trans community. i get where max is coming from, but i didn't like how much he pushed pony and how many times he kept emphasising that pony just had to come out. i absolutely hate it when queer characters do this to fellow queers, as was seen in Only Mostly Devastated. i hate, hate, hate this trope and seeing a character so vehement in his belief of closeted queer people having to come out put me off.

i couldn't understand how pony's father came around to supporting him as fast as he did, either. i mean, for the entirety of the book ( almost ) you have him misgendering and deadnaming pony at every turn. of course, pony doesn't quickly forgive him at the end ( thank god ), but i couldn't understand how his father just came around after just reading discrimination and suicide stats among trans teens.

you can also check out an ownvoices review here ( thank you to tappkalina for telling me about the video ! ).

anyway, all that being said, i do agree that this story was moving. some scenes did make me a little emotional, especially towards the end, when pony notices more and more people using the right pronouns for him or when he's lying in the hospital feeling hopeless. the character of rocky, pony's loving sister, was also memorable and provided a wholesome sibling relationship.

would recommend if you're looking for a story featuring a trans mc trying to navigate love and life in a poignant portrayal of what it means to be 'normal' and staying strong.

// 2.5 stars

[dumplin’ · Rating 1 out of 5]

i’m so very tired of storylines where lgbt people fall in love with bumbling cishets that say totally out of pocket things regarding their identity but it’s fine bc they’re just ignorant and then they learn!!!!!! and save the day!!!!!!!! it’s 2020 no more savior stories we have progressed past the need for savior stories

[Lindsay (pawsomereads) · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5⭐️

[Eva B. · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars, maybe even a full 5 upon reflection.
First things first: don't let the cover fool you. Yes, there's cute moments to this book, but there's also a lot of heavy topics, including transphobia and an on-page hate crime.
Rationally, this should be a 3 star book. McSmith did some stuff in dialogue that I didn't love (namely stuff like having characters say "OMG" while talking in-person) and Georgia's constant lying to seem...funny, I guess was very grating. (and then she has the nerve to say that Pony was lying to her for not coming out right away). Max was grating as well, and honestly not a very good friend. The resolution to Georgia's character arc kinda just happened off-page after Pony gets attacked in a hate crime . Honestly I wish the book had been solely from Pony's point of view; his storyline with Ted London and his conflict over whether he wanted to keep going stealth or be visible and risk being ostracized or worse was much more interesting that everything with Georgia. That's maybe a bit harsh, but I wish that the Pony-to-Georgia ratio had been skewed more towards Pony.
After reading all of that, you're probably thinking "wow, Eva, why did you rate this four-point-five stars? you have a lot of complaints" and the truth is...I don't know. I'm not sure if it's the writing, the characters, or just the sheer amount of heart that radiates from the story, but I have a soft spot for it. Stay gold, y'all.

[Dana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! Little did I know going into this book that it would have such a huge impact on my soul. Stay Gold deserves all the stars... it had me feeling every single emotion - a true roller coaster ride!

Thank you SO much Tobly for this powerful story!

Trigger warnings: violence/hate crime, suicidal thoughts, gender dysphoria, homophobia, transphobia.