Panic as Man Burns Crumpets: The Vanishing World of the Local Journalist

by Roger Lytollis

You dreamed of being a journalist and the dream has come true. You love working for your local paper . . . although not everything is as you imagined.

You embarrass yourself with a range of celebrities, from John Hurt to Jordan. Your best story is 'The Man With the Pigeon Tattoo'.

A former colleague interviews President Trump. You urinate in the president of the Mothers' Union's garden.

Your appearance as a hard-hitting columnist on a BBC talk show does not go well. And being photographed naked is only the second most humiliating thing to happen one infamous afternoon.

There are serious stories, such as a mass shooting, a devastating flood, and the search for Madeleine McCann.

Meanwhile local papers are dying. Your building is crumbling and your readership is dwindling. Your carefully crafted features are read by fewer people than a story about fancy dress for dogs.

Panic as Man Burns Crumpets is the inside story of local newspapers during the past twenty-five years, told in a way that's funny, poignant and revealing.

Genres: Nonfiction, British Literature, Journalism

258 pages, Hardcover

Published November 23, 2021

Reviews

[Matt Bendoris · Rating 5 out of 5]

Without doubt this is the best book I’ve read about the newspaper industry. Some of it was downright hilarious, other moments incredibly sad. It was also honest - perhaps too honest at times (I’m thinking of Roger’s extreme preventative pee method). But this book details the harsh reality faced by so many journalists, unloved by the public and often their own employers. A must read for everyone - except, perhaps, those considering a career in journalism.

[Janette · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honest, entertaining and poignant. I’ll definitely be recommending this book. The world needs more journalists like Roger Lytollis.

[Simon Evans · Rating 4 out of 5]

Having spent a (mostly) happy decade in my local newsroom as a graphic designer I found Roger’s memoir accurate, amusing and touching.

Many of the characters he describes on both sides of the journalistic fence were familiar to me and will be to anyone who has worked in this field. From touchy snappers to insane readers to, er, well, unconventional journalists all life is covered here.

The sad decline of local news coverage and the era of the big corporations (in this case Newsquest but JP and Northcliffe are equally guilty) sucking the lifeblood out of newsrooms in combination with a complete failure to understand the dynamics of digital publishing until way too late mean the final third of the book is a bittersweet read.

I took my leave over a decade ago yet much of what Lytollis covers here still resounds deeply with my experiences.

My son bought me this for Christmas and I was pleased with such a thoughtful gift – I raced through it which I am sure is decent justification for you to seek out your own copy!

[Oliver Rogers · Rating 4 out of 5]

How I savoured the title; up there with the famed headline following the sinking of the Titanic: 'Local man dies'. But that headline may be fake news according to the internet! But not so Roger Lytollis's headlines featured in this book because he did the research and was there on the frontline of local news reporting.

I feel so much invested in this book, not because I have links or knowledge of the stories recounted, but the situations are many I recognise from my own experience of local journalism. I think the writer really captures the mentality of someone not quite wanting to be a 'hard news' reporter and someone that seeks to understand a bit deeper through feature writing.

My own experience of the banality of local media reporting was brutally brought home to me when myself and a colleague went to interview an elderly couple for a feature connected with a musuem display of some of their personal effects. The couple had been refugees resettled in England following the Partition of India in 1947 meeting and marrying in England. As an aside the woman had met Gandhi and had several pictures taken with him. As individuals they spoke well about many of the great events of 20th century history including how the husband had been taken on a train to Siberia. What did we run on local radio? Five minutes about the display in the musuem. It didn't even touch the surface of their lives.

The shrinking editorial teams and the path of decline for local media are well charted in this book. I'm left considering how regional journalism once provided a large range of high quality jobs in our regional centres. They had a canteen at one point this news group was such a big concern!

A delightful read that really gets inside what it means to be a regional or local journalist and also points out the shocking business practices of companies that have run our regional press into the ground in recent years.

People ask why local journalism matters, this is why: areas with local papers and engaged regional media have higher turnout rates at elections and communities have trusted sources of information at their heart. All adding up to a more resilient public debate that is less susceptible to fake news. This book shows the consequence of these media battles in the North West and it could be anywhere in England. Big business is draining not just finance out of our communities but also our belief in the truth and our ability to talk to our fellow citizens.

This book matters during these strange times and it is a wonderful read.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny, nostalgic and heartbreakingly sad. Roger Lytollis’s ode to local newspapers rang true for my time as a local newspaper reporter and everything I’ve seen since while working in public relations.

There’s lots to love in this book. It’s crammed full of stories about the kind of exposure to other people’s passions and idiosyncrasies which are part and parcel of local journalism. Roger, as you’d expect from an experienced feature writer, can tell a story. His self-deprecating humour and turn of phrase make this a joy to read.

But, it’s also terribly sad as he charts the downfall of local media. Now largely in the hands of a few huge companies it’s increasingly rare to find newspapers which are locally staffed or even focussed on local issues.

There’s a need for good journalism, but it’s not a business area anyone would want to invest in now. And, reading this book I have no hope that even with the passionate people hanging on to try and save this industry that there’s any real future for local press. I pray that I’m proved wrong.

[Colin · Rating 4 out of 5]

The jokey title belies the sadness that lies beneath this book. What starts as a picaresque tale of the misadventures of a young journalist on a north Cumbrian local newspaper turns at about the halfway point into something much darker and more disturbing. Roger Lytollis celebrates the importance of a thriving local press on community identity and sense of place, and in holding local businesses and public bodies to account, but in just a few years he sees that stripped away as the paper is sold to a massive conglomerate with a reputation for savage cost cutting and the once buzzing newsroom is reduced to a skeleton staff of trainees and apprentices cutting and pasting third party content and chasing clickbait. What a sad story, and one that is being repeated all over the country; local newspapers are dying, seemingly unmourned, and the civic life of the country shrivels a little bit more with each one.

[Christopher Day · Rating 5 out of 5]

A superb memoir of life as a local journalist between the mid-1990s and the present day. Full of hilarious anecdotes, with a melancholy turn as the author tells the story of the decline of local journalism this century. He's scathing about the way in which local newspapers have been run in the internet era, and makes interesting observations on how that could have been prevented/reduced. The book is also the perfect length - long enough to tell a reasonably comprehensive story, short enough that there are no boring chapters!

[Dennis Cartwright · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great read about the decline of news papers and the increase of click bait and fake news.

[George Dearsley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read the book in 24 hours and I didn't want it to end. I had a similar career path to Roger. But thank God I was a generation before him...before the bean counters and the internet arrived. I also made it to national papers. But many of my fondest memories and staunchest friendships were made on local papers. The way the internet has combined with ruthless Capitalism to largely destroy an institution which was right up there with the NHS as part of the fabric of our society is criminal. Local papers informed and entertained and also held the wrongdoers to account. I recall writing a story for the Northern Echo about a woman whose gas had been wrongly cut off. Within a few hours the gas company reacted and sorted it out. Nowadays (as Roger points out) we have situations like the Grenfell fire which might have been avoided had more local reporters been around to sniff out and act upon residents' complaints. The general public has no idea of the amazing work local journalists do to keep things ticking over as they should. Sadly they have been largely replaced by drivel on social media. This book is a very thorough (and sometimes very funny) account of how this regrettable decline affected one newspaper group and the author personally.

[Ally Howard · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was given this book as a present because I’m a former local newspaper journalist. I expected to be reminded of life in a busy newsroom and the kind of stories I used to cover: to some extent I was, but sadly the author just doesn’t write very well. He doesn’t seem to know how to use a comma, often using a full stop and beginning another ‘sentence’ which isn’t a sentence because it doesn’t contain a verb. All the everyday situations I remember are there, but the way he tells them just isn’t funny. The book is peppered with spelling and grammatical mistakes and should have undergone a good edit. The ringing endorsement by Melvyn Bragg that appears on the cover just doesn’t ring true. But it was interesting to read about the decline of local newspapers, because I escaped after seven years and did other things. Roger Lytollis’ story is that of former colleagues who hung on until the bitter end, and it really was a bitter end.

[Brian Moore · Rating 3 out of 5]

Better than a three but not enough for a four. Sad to read of the decline of local newspapers and this book builds to such an ending. Writing is a little patchy, which is strange coming from a journalist but seems to improve the further the book gets.
An easy days read so one for the flight/train trip box.

[Clive Ashman · Rating 4 out of 5]

They say you only value what you've lost after it's gone; with Roger Lytollis's poignantly-humorous epitaph to local newspapers - those provincial periodicals whose professional reporting of serious issues around your home town are nearly swept away, nowadays, by the random ramblings of a digital mob more preoccupied with pictures of pigeons & cats, maybe where they'll get a pizza - providing the readers of Roger's book with his hilarious-yet-melancholy obituary to a means of telling truth to power almost lost to us now.
Quietly insightful; a sensitive & thoughtful soul who can yet swear like a trooper, Roger survived the hard-bitten hurly-burly of a regional newsroom by testing himself - taking on the most extreme & uncomfortable challenges on the way if only to assert the integrity of his art; exploit the art in what's ludicrous.
Lytollis successfully conveys a lost age of news-gathering just as lovingly-yet-dispassionately as he also reports the slow-motion, tragic train-crash of his employing newsgroup; as some in the wheelhouse attempt to navigate the social media revolution by taking their boat over the falls.
Having worked in Cumbria myself during this era; as someone willing to admit how - after a hard week - it was one of life's little luxuries to settle down on a Friday night with a glass & The Cumberland News, I'm as entitled as anyone to thank Roger (& his colleagues) for their grumpy contribution to community - not to mention this book.
Though its sadder lesson for the rest of us; in terms of what we've really lost here, in terms of a real public accountability for locally-delivered government, justice or policing - let alone a clean water supply - makes for much less happy reading in an otherwise highly-entertaining book.
So record your disapproval by going out to buy Roger's book, if only to read it and laugh.
Then sit there sadly once it's over; wondering how we as citizens can ever get any of this back?

[Fionnuala · Rating 4 out of 5]

Highly entertaining, and manages to be a light and easy read without being fluffy or dull. It was extra interesting because this is pretty local to me (I'm frequently in Carlisle and recognise many of the areas mentioned), which is always a lot of fun for reasons I still can't quite explain. Accessible nosiness, I suppose.

Lytollis writes with great humour and frankness, just as willing to poke fun at himself as he is to point out various absurdities and characters. Having said that, he doesn't rely entirely on anecdotes and humour -- he's open about his various personal struggles, and he provides a deeply disturbing and genuinely heartbreaking insight into how the life has been utterly torn out of local journalism in the name of profit. This he manages with the mark of a truly great journalist: he doesn't descend into ranting or anything that might make his book seem like a manifesto. He simply reports what he saw and lets it speak for itself, and the picture is deeply damning.

The overall result is a genuine homage to a bygone era, a real love letter to a time that's probably never coming back. It's genuinely touching, full of love and passion and humour but heavy at the same time. Like a well-written obituary.

[Jonny · Rating 2 out of 5]

Really wanted to like this and it started entertainingly but declined towards the end coming across as the author feeling personally attacked and bitter. I guess that's maybe the point but I didn't feel the sympathy I expected and not sure why.

I feel bad writing that as by the sounds of it, Roger will read every single one of these reviews and take it personally. I'm sure you're a lovely guy, it just wasnt the book I was expecting I guess - less a celebration of local journalism and more a funeral - again, that's probably the point. Feel slightly misled by the Melvyn Bragg quote on the front calling it 'Very funny, very witty, very moving'.

[Peter · Rating 4 out of 5]

An easy to read book with some laugh out loud bits. Overall it's written as the story of a self-depreciatory introvert making their way through life struggling with situations that would be normal for many. A bit reminiscent of Frank Spencer in Some Mothers Do Have 'Em.

It's a good account of life on a local newspaper and their decline from around 2005. Quite sad at the end. I found this in the library so hopefully Roger will have got something, as I normally buy books.

Roger doesn't say how things are now, although we have this book and another. I feel a bit like I know him at this moment and wish him well.

[George McCullough · Rating 4 out of 5]

Having not much interest in journalism this book was very very good and an eye opener into the world of journalism. The ups and downs of Roger’s career and the newspaper industry were compelling.

As being from Cumbria as well this book was so fitting - hearing about certain events such as Derrick Bird made the book much more interesting. This is my only reason for 4 instead of 5, it’s quite focused on the lakes. However I don’t deem this as a bad thing just people may not be as interested.

I raced through this book (for me anyway) it’s such a good read and will definetly be recommending it.

[Ian · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tightly written and infused with personal insights, I really enjoyed this book -on several levels. Considering the global problem of the death of local journalism (increasingly, of any sort of journalism). Then the vivid memories of life in and around Carlisle from the 1980s to the 2010s. And, perhaps above all, the author's candid accounts of his struggles with depression. Highly recommended.

[Olivier · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. First-hand account of the gradual and painful decline of the print newspaper industry. The book describes the joys and challenges of local journalism before documenting the stark cuts undertaken in the internet age. There are some humorous anecdotes sprinkled in to keep the book balanced but you sense the pain of a career ultimately lost to clickbait headlines and shoestring budgets.

[Jonny Brick · Rating 4 out of 5]

As well as a lament for a dying industry, where print becomes clicks and features writers become obsolete, this is a memoir of a shy man who found solace in writing and reporting. A fine advert for Cumbria, which was the author's patch, and the most sombre chapter is on covering flooding. How can anybody but a local journalist build trust with people in the area?

[Richard Spindle · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this based on a year end book recommendation in The Spectator magazine. I might not do that again. This book was not as funny as the title might suggest. Essentially it was for me a pointless read. I got little from it at all. I realized already that the news print industry had drastically changed over the past 20 years. I didn't need to read a book to understand that.

[Julian Walker · Rating 3 out of 5]

An intriguing and rather sad insight into a lost UK information source and the people that provide it.

The industry is dying though takeovers, cost-cutting and a drive for efficiency - and with it those that care about the community in which they work and about which they write.

A good and entertaining autobiography of one such individual.

[Kevin Coaker · Rating 3 out of 5]

Perhaps thought this would be a light hearted journey through local journalism and the odd stories/ characters they encounter. However, it's a more depressing trip through the death of the printed press and local journalism.

[Matthew Mclane · Rating 4 out of 5]

The title is misleadingly comedic for a book that, although with light moments, is generally a sad tale of the demise of local newspapers and good, respectable journalism.

It feels like the online news genie is out of the bottle and we’ll never return to the halcyon days of local papers but Roger Lytollis’s book serves as a good reminder of what we had, and just how far current news corporations have strayed from the journalism people need.

[Chris Shepheard · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fascinating if concerning account of the destruction of local journalism since the 1990s through the eyes of a feature writer.

Reading this book makes me glad that I got out when I did!

[Carolyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

The world of the British local newspaper by one who knows.

[Juliet Mike · Rating 3 out of 5]

Funny anecdotes, interesting biography and a dismal obituary for the (local) newspaper industry.
Would have liked more "Cumbrianness", personally.

[Maja Anushka · Rating 4 out of 5]

i love this industry with my everything but man is it a heartbreaker

[Hiccopolit · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

[Darragh Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just finished this book. I found it unbelievably sad reading a story about a profession that has defined me and one that I love.

[Chris · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really loved this book. As a local lad who grew up reading the paper discussed, it was quite a sad nostalgia trip reading about its demise from someone who clearly cared deeply about the industry.