The Right Kind of Parental Pressure Puts Kids on a Path to Success. The Wrong Kind Can Be Disastrous. Level up your parenting with this positive approach to pushing your child to be their best self. Parents instinctively push their kids to succeed. Yet well-meaning parents can put soul-crushing pressure on kids, leading to under-performance and serious mental health problems instead of social, emotional, and academic success. So where are they going astray? According to Drs. Chris Thurber and Hendrie Weisinger, it all comes down to asking the right question. Instead of “How much pressure?”, you should be thinking “How do I apply pressure?”
The Unlikely Art of Parental Pressure addresses the biggest parenting dilemma of all how to push kids to succeed and find happiness in a challenging world without pushing them too far. The solution lies in Thurber and Weisinger’s eight methods for transforming harmful pressure to healthy pressure.
Each transformation is enlivened by case studies, grounded in research, and fueled by practical strategies that you can start using right away. By upending conventional wisdom, Thurber and Weisinger provide you with the revolutionary guide you need to nurture motivation, improve your interactions with your child, build deep connections, sidestep cultural pitfalls, and, ultimately, help your kids become their best selves.
As a mother of 5 children (full and step), I often find my head spinning from trying to deal with 5 extremely different personalities all at once in our family. It's really easy to get frustrated, to lose patience and to put pressure on them knowingly and unknowingly to try and help as they grow to adulthood.
Then of course, I'm always questioning myself on if I am doing it right, if I can do it better, am I screwing them up because I want what's best for them, etc.
What I loved about this book is that it explains how to look at different situations from a multitude of perspectives. What a parent may be intending but how a child might be perceiving. With examples from both perspectives, it easily shows different ways to approach and speak to kids, that still allows your intentions to be heard but from a place of positivity and love, which in turn will hopefully allow the message to get through that kid barrier that they all seem to have up!
I've read this book and now I need to go back and really spend some time with each chapter to let it all sink in.
If you have kids, do yourself a favor and pick up a copy of this one. If you think you don't need it now, you will later as they get older!
Thank you so much to @tlcbooktours and @hachetteus for this #gifted copy. All opinions expressed are my own and I'm so thankful to have been able to read and learn from this fabulous book!
Parental pressure is something all kids face and this book focuses on healthy pressure versus harmful pressure. It talks about how to give positive words and motivation to help kids become their best selves. One thing that this book and just about every parenting book I’ve ever read have in common is EMPATHY. Show your kids empathy. It goes a long way.
I found the examples - especially at the beginning really extreme. I would have appreciate more realistic and every day examples of harmful pressure, but I’m also not a parent of children in competitive academic or sports environments yet. The examples become more realistic though as the book went on. I feel like this book is great for parents of teens, and I’ll definitely be giving it a reread when my kids get older!
I don't usually read this type of book but when it was offered to me I thought I should give it a chance. Having 4 children I've always wondered how much pressure did I need to put on them for them to be able to reach their full potential and how much was too much and could result in being more harmful than helpful. This book makes some great points and gives clear and concise guidance on how to become that parent your child needs. Through fictional scenarios based on real life experiences, the authors with their extensive experience give parents effective ways to put pressure on kids but in a warm, loving, meaningful and effective way.
Thank you @tlcbooktours and @hatchettbooks for this gifted copy.
Chris Thurber is pretty well known in camping circles. I went to one of his sessions at the ACA National Conference a few weeks ago and was inspired enough by his talk to buy his recently published book. I just finished it. I’m planning to re-read it before camp.
Man oh man, I wish I’d had this resource 10 years ago when my kids were in their early teens. The intended audience is parents, but if you are an educator of any kind, or if you are someone who works with youth and/or their parents in a mental health capacity the tools and insights offered in this book are applicable.
I read this to advise a friend and found it very enlightening, especially in dealing with exams and parental pressure on children to achieve. Basically, let the child do his or her best rather than become competitive to outdo others.