If You Should Fail: Why Success Eludes Us and Why It Doesn't Matter

by Joe Moran

To fail is human. Get used to it . . .

Failure is the small print in life's terms and conditions.

Covering everything from exam dreams to fourth-placed Olympians, If You Should Fail is about how modern life, in a world of self-advertised success, makes us feel like failures, frauds and imposters. Widely acclaimed observer of daily life Joe Moran is here not to tell you that everything will be all right in the end, but to reassure you that failure is an occupational hazard of being human.

As Moran shows, even the supremely gifted Leonardo da Vinci could be seen as a failure. Most artists, writers, sports stars and business people face failure. We all will, and can learn how to live with it. To echo Virginia Woolf, beauty "is only got by the failure to get it . . . by facing what must be humiliation - the things one can't do."

Combining philosophy, psychology, history and literature, Moran's ultimately upbeat reflections on being human, and his critique of how we live now, offers comfort, hope - and solace. For we need to see that not every failure can be made into a success - and that's OK.

Genres: Nonfiction, Philosophy, Self Help, Psychology, Essays, Personal Development

176 pages, Paperback

Published May 1, 2022

About the author

Joe Moran is Professor of English and Cultural History at Liverpool John Moores University and is the author of seven books, including Queuing for Beginners: The Story of Daily Life from Breakfast to Bedtime, Armchair Nation: An Intimate History of Britain in Front of the TV, Shrinking Violets: The Secret Life of Shyness and First You Write a Sentence. He writes for, among others, the Guardian, the New Statesman and the Times Literary Supplement.

Reviews

[Trevor · Rating 5 out of 5]

There are so many ways in which you can fail and so few ways in which you can succeed. And sometimes even success can feel like failure. And ultimately, if we see death as a kind of failure too, we all will fail eventually. At one point in this he talks about people who have created CVs documenting all of the times they have failed – novels we started and that came to naught. Relationships that started with such promise and ended in screaming matches or just faded to nothing. Projects that we thought would be life defining that we procrastinated over and that died on the vine. These CVs were not created out of a morbid fascination, but rather to show that we are as much made out of our failures as our successes.

This is not a self-help book in the traditional sense. One of the things the author says throughout is that too often the narrative we construct of our lives presents our failures in the context of our ultimate success. He’s not as interested in this. Sometimes our failures remain just that. And as I said, often regardless of our successes, we still feel like failures. A friend of mine used to tell me stories of people who had committed suicide on the day of their ultimate success. And how tragic and sad he found this, but mostly how inexplicable. I guess part of the problem here is having an ambition that can be realised. It is almost as if we need a reason to go on striving.

There is a nice bit in this where he talks about something Freud mentions somewhere – that people often have a dream where they are forced to retake an exam they did quite well in – but this time they feel underprepared and assume they might fail. Freud wasn’t quite sure what to make of this dream, but the author says it is one he often has and believes that it relates to the fact that we are never fully prepared for an exam. Our success in the exam originally feels like it is more related to good luck and is therefore not fully deserved. Our dream failure in it tells us that we never fully accept our successes.

The book discusses many people who have tried and failed. And yet, this seems a rather optimistic book to me. In the end he says that one of the reasons why Greek Gods often fell in love with mere mortals was that our perfections are always temporary. We are ephemera, we are here and gone in a moment. And yet, it is in our seemingly pointless trying against the odds that make us truly human. That and seeking to be well remembered souls. It is a sad life indeed that is lost without a single tear being shed over it. I kept thinking of Pink Floyd’s song Time while reading this.

“Tired of lying in the sunshine
Staying home to watch the rain
You are young and life is long
And there is time to kill today
And then one day you find
Ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run
You missed the starting gun.”

We all miss the starting gun. We all have regrets for time wasted that has come to nothing. Success isn’t assured or even all that likely. But we can all do things that might just make the world a slightly better place. And that effort is worth the effort.

[David Brynjolfson · Rating 5 out of 5]

An entertaining and thoughtful read that provides good insights. It deserves more attention, and that's why I gave it five stars. Maybe it deserves four because it is a little all over the place and unpredictable but I dont think that detracts too much because his writing style is engaging.

A lot of people may not want to read about this 'negative' topic but it is not presented as self-pitying or whiny and therefore the tone actually has a self-confident strength that I think is positive. Maybe we need to talk about failure more as a society. If you agree you'll find this book helpful.

[Anastasia Kuprina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall, a okay non-self-help book about failure. The bottom line is, many ideas are interesting but storytelling is a bit all over the place.

I think Joe Moran is a very educated and erudite person. While I enjoyed some of the philosophy, I couldn’t tell you what the main ideas of the book were. To me it felt like I understand what the author thinks failure is *not*, but I still don’t understand what the author thinks it is. Stories and anecdotes felt scattered all over the place (and ideas).

A few excellent quotes:

When we fail, we mourn those unlived lives - the loss of something we never had and never were, except in our imaginings

Being human means being a failure. It means committing ourselves to plans that we know will break down or Peter our into nothingness

[mo.problemo · Rating 4 out of 5]

I start every chapter thinking this book is disorganised, irregular and impersonal. But then the chapter starts to crescendo towards practicality as the author ties it together beautifully.
A delicate balance is struck between "learn from your mistakes" and "accept your fallibility" where Joe encourages us to keep on trying without being too hard on ourselves.
Some real gems of knowledge are deposited throughout this short book as well with brilliant wisdom extracted from lessons we think we are already familiar with. Its a short book that is definitely worth a second read. Thank you, its what I needed, need and will need.

[Shashwat · Rating 4 out of 5]

In a culture where failure seems no more than a stepping stone to success, Joe Moran brings a perspective that is both unique and desperately necessary for all those that are failing, have failed, or will fail (inevitably) in the future.

The culture of success makes us believe that if we only fail more, fail better, then we shall have the shining glory of success laid at our feet - that may be true, but nobody ever tells us how to live with our failure. Not all who fail succeed. Some fail in ways that are disproportionately worse than others, some fail in ways that are concealed and hidden, but everyone fails.

Failure is ever closer to you. It sinks into your bones and becomes a part of your life. Success, on the other hand, is only a fleeting thing that we never can say we truly deserve. Whatever the case may be, failure and success are both opinions of others.

A short, breath of life in a world claustrophobically consumed with success and careering through life with few bumps. Fail, my friends. And take heart.

[Paul Bard · Rating 5 out of 5]

A rare five stars and a warning.

It's a solace. A consolation. Not advice. Not help. Nor is it against self-help, success, optimism.

Joe Moran proposes humane fatalism, accepting reality.

The warning is: it's an adult book, more adult than most forbidden texts, so the funniest bits will also make you very sad indeed.

It's probably best to read between naps, as it may be too much reality to bear.

I'm always surprised to read good new books. Sometimes we hear echoes of Montaigne when he is being contrary and Lucretius when he is being emotional.

It's really that good.

XXX.

SECOND READING.

Joe's little book is a thing of beauty, so a first read is just an approach; appreciating it for what it is, rather than for how it struck me on first impressions, calls for a second read.

The seven chapters are a kind of university lecture on failure, replete with readings and (implied) practical exercises.

[Mia Gutkovas · Rating 4 out of 5]

"A life can't really succeed or fail at all; it can only be lived."

A book about failure, or the feeling of being a failure, or maybe even our modern day view of failure. Moran does not offer any up-beat self-helpy and cute advise, or talk about how failure are the road to success, but rather offers a different view on failures. One where it doesn't matter if you succeed or fail at all, and that life is not about success and failure in the first place. That is just the language of business, that we have grown so accustomed to that we started applying it on our lives, our soul.

A great book for anyone who sometimes feels like a failure (everyone?). Both wise and humoristic. But then again, humor is a successful way to get through a period of failure. Ha!

[Naji · Rating 5 out of 5]

بینظیر… بینظیر… بینظیر…
اگر قرار باشه از ۳۱ کتابی که امسال تا اینجا خوندم یکیو معرفی کنم
اینو به همه توصیه می کنم…

در کنار همه‌ی خوبی هاش باید بگم ترجمه‌ی خوب و روونی هم داشت.. فرصت مقایسه با متن اصلی رو نداشتم اما به لحظ خوش‌خوان بودن حداقل در زبان مقصد عالی بود

[Zuzana · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nice message, interesting collection of stories - could've been said in fewer pages

[Karen Middlebrook · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this, so many salient points. Particularly how failure just sometimes "is", it's not a life lesson, it's not a step towards ultimate success, sometimes things just go a bit wrong! and that is okay. Humorous in a wry, low-key way. The author has insight into the human condition. Recommended if you like "the arts", as it ranges from the Greek myths to Arthur Miller to musical theatre flops. Recommended.

[Mo (a.k.a. Saba) Maleki · Rating 5 out of 5]

بسیار خواندنی
میتونم بگم یک شورش آرام و منطقی بر علیه دنیای موفقیت‌محور بیرون. دیدی متفاوت به تلاش انسانی."ناکامی خانه ماست و هیچ‌کجا خانه خود آدم نمی‌شود"

[Caroline · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was quite looking forward to reading about failure, as I hadn't really encountered any other books tackling the topic.

Moran speaks harshly about prizes, successes and what might be called toxic positivity. All of these things are mirages, which simply skew our thinking for a minute, from the desert of failure that constitutes the reality of our lives.

"That hunted-after truffle, hidden under the ground and so delectable in prospect, tastes only of mud and truffle hog's breath. Prizes make no one happy, even those who win them." Virginia Woolf was of the same mind. She declined the Companion of Honour, the presidency of the writers' association 'PEN', and honorary degrees from two universities.

To drive the point home Moran points out that thirty-one of the thirty-two football teams in the World Cup finals fail. 126 of the 128 men and women in the Wimbledon singles fail. Playwrights fail too - most plays and musicals even if they make the stage, never get to the West End, in spite of people's dreams. He also quotes famous authors who see themselves as failures - Henry James was a failed playwright, William Faulkner a failed poet. Ezra Pound near the end of his life called his work "a mess...stupidity and ignorance all the way through...I found out after seventy years I was not a lunatic but a moron." He also speaks of the process of writing a book - starting off with enthusiasm but ending up with barely any momentum. "It is all the writer can do to keep going. But worse is to come when the river empties itself into an endless ocean made up of other people's indifference."

As someone who has experienced a lot of failure in her life, I disagree with Moran's perspective. Even decades later I still get pleasure from the very rare occasions when I won prizes, either literally or figuratively. On the other hand I very much dislike being "bottom of the class", and when that seems to be the case I usually drop out. But that isn't what Moran is addressing. He talks rather about the pain of coming forth, the pain of just missing the cups or rosettes. Like Woolf, he is not keen on prizes.

But all is not lost for those of us familiar with failure, Moran says it has positive aspects.

"Success divides us. In search of it, we drive through our lives in little armoured tanks of ego. Inside these tanks, we try to do two irreconcilable things: compete with others and win their approval and love. Failure strips us of all that competitive bullet plate. It makes us tender and undefended, more open to the world and each other. It throws us off the hamster wheel of other people's expectations. It inspires modesty, compassion and an awareness that life is a crapshoot and there are numberless ways of living it well."

"Failure speaks to us of our vulnerability, our precarity, or mortality. It is where we meet and break bread with other weak and wavering mortals. It reminds us, as Le Guin writes, that our roots are not in the light that blinds, but in the dark that nourishes, where human beings grow human souls'. Failure is not a holding station we pass through on the way to somewhere else. It is its own country, where we must all learn to live."

At the end of the book I looked back on my life and saw a huge vista of failure following failure - but that isn't normally the way I regard it. In fact I tend rather to rather celebrate the small triumphs I experience. I think this book can be rather overwhelming with its perspective. Unless you are feeling fairly resilient, I suggest you read it with caution....

[Louise (Bookmarks and Stages blog) Cannon · Rating 3 out of 5]

Life is measured on success and failure, sometimes a long, seemingly fixed perception that is wide-spread in society, and sometimes a more personal perception. Joe Moran talks about the culture of success and now people are told that if they fail to try and try again and how fails become success. He talks more of the reality of this theory in quite a philosophical way. He also uses case studies and quotes from people from many different walks of life to illustrate the points he makes as he tries to change people’s perceptions on failure within the arguments he presents. There are mentions of well-known psychologists like Freud, literary people like Virginia Woolf, olympians and more…

It’s an interesting, philosophical book with something quite realistic, that may have readers examine their own lives in terms of failures and successes and how they perceive them and how society perceives them. It doesn’t try and set unachievable  expectations or goals.
I wasn’t as enthralled as I thought I might have been, even though it is at times, a deeply thought-provoking book, but don’t totally discount it as there are some interesting ideas and observations at how society is. There is a reality that most people at some point will relate to and may find useful. It is a book, perhaps best taking time to ponder over as you read and to reflect and think about what is being said in its well-researched weaving of historical and current time on the subject of failure and society.

Rated 3 1/2 out of 5 stars on my blog.

[David · Rating 3 out of 5]

As Jean Lucy Picard said "It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life.”

I appreciate the exploration of something we are all painfully familiar with. Our entry into the world "was greeted as an extraordinary event" but from there it can seem that "life is a long, unavertable falling into failure." And yet failure is still unequally meted out. "You can be an expensively schooled white man with a facile tongue, a plausible air and an unbudgeable sense of entitlement and you will be allowed to fail – endlessly, guiltlessly and ever upward.”

And our exposure to failure is often seen as a prelude to achievement. JK Rowling living on benefits, Samuel Beckett a near unknown into his late forties, every commencement address that paints a picture of early failure as a gateway to growth, that merely paved to way to immense success. The story of failing well. But glory isn't waiting in the wings for most of our failures. Weighted with prosaic, everyday failure bereft of a glorious future, Moran offers solace instead. And I'm here for that.

But then the book extends out into long digressions on exams, musical flops and the Cruyff turn. It descends into baggy tangents that feel haphazard and ultimately blunt what could have been a sharp and much needed discussion at half the length. One forgives the failure in a book that so warmly embraces failure.

[Eshu Sharma · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is so clear in what it makes you feel.

A univocal, comforting hue of solace.

It disagrees with the idea that failure is simply a stepping stone to success—a notion that is critical to fuel the illusion of progress in our capitalistic society but isn't grounded in truth.

The majority of failures in the world don't lead to success but rather to absolute failure. He takes us through the breathtaking failure of serial-examination-takers from the Civil Service Examinations of Imperial China. That bit has stayed with me.

He talks about the cues that our languages provide about what we consider as failure. It seems that, in today's world, being forgotten is a failure. Dying is a failure. In that sense, Joe argues that everyone is eventually going to fail. Everyone.

He says that failure—having tried and failed—is a beautiful thing in and of itself. It is a symbol of you having tried to create your own mark, not unlike the handprints in Neanderthals' cave art. Being alive is just another word for being mortal, being imperfect, being a failure.

Accepting who you are, or more specifically, how much of a failure you are, is like coming home. Eventually, home is where you end up, regardless of whether you like it or not.

Joe has got a fan in me for life. The skill with words, the sincerity, and singularity of his efforts, are astounding.

[Guy Bartlett · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved Moran's previous book, "First You Write a Sentence", which contained a huge collection of quotations and ideas from writers I had never heard of, so was excited to read his next one about such a ubiquitous concept as failure.

Broadly speaking, it did not disappoint; it is not a failure. The references come thick and fast - so much so that the pessimists among us may feel like failures for how uneducated they are. But this is the perfect book for that, and being reminded that such failure is an inevitability.

This book is at its best when it takes those seemingly disparate strands of thought and weaves them together into a semi-coherent whole; only semi-coherent because it is up to the reader to interpret how it relates to their own specific failures.

Moran is very keen to portray failure as universal and unavoidable, and so takes issue with the self-help trend for failing better, constant improvement and failure as a stepping stone to success. He argues against the comforting lie we are told that with graft and a positive mindset, we will overcome the essential failure of life.

In these arguments, he persistently mischaracterises this philosophy as sufficient - that all you have to do is learn from your failures and you will be a success. But I think that's an uncharitable interpretation. Trying to use failure as a route to success will never alone be sufficient - but it is necessary. The serenity prayer asks for the serenity to accept that which cannot be changed and the courage to change that which can. Moran contends we focus too much on the latter at the expense of the former, but neglects to mention that both are essential, as is the wisdom to know the difference.

For that reason, I can't give it five stars. But it will nonetheless enrich your life, and leave you more sanguine about your failures. If only by reminding you that you are not alone.

[Keli · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved it! A very compelling book from the start. There are so many quotes that I absolutely loved in this book. It’s [maybe] fair to say that we have all [possibly] experienced failure in our lives. It doesn’t feel good. But, what exactly is failure? What does it mean? ‘If You Should Fail’ took me on a journey of discovery. Am I a failure? Yes and no. Does it matter? Yes and no. It’s a compelling read. I found this book fascinating, uplifting, sad, educational and shocking in places.

My only criticism is that I thought some of the chapters were a little bit too long. For example, the amount of information about Samuel Beckett felt a bit out of place, like it was too much. Although it was very interesting, for me, it detracted from the rest of the chapter. It didn’t, however, detract from my overall enjoyment of the book. I’d like to read it again and I’ve already recommended it to a few people. Captivating.

[Calvin Caulee · Rating 2 out of 5]

Failure: a concept so widely seen as possibly the worst thing to happen to a human. It is often not spoken of or reframed in a way that highlights failure as being a step to success. It is a source of shame and we often hide or avoid our failures because we don't want to be seen as inferior and yet it is the Hallmark of what makes us human.

However, Moran fails to emphasise on any of these thoughts. He tries to hard to be clever. This feels very erudite but without any opinion or stand. While it's full of stories and anecdotes, he fails to convey main ideas and thus leaves the reader unable to understand of the supposed philosophy of the book or the opinion of the author here. It's like he tried to be too smart, he tried to write too much and came up with nothing at the end.

He kinda failed to make his point about failure..... Ironic

[محمّدحسین · Rating 4 out of 5]

کتاب توصیفی است از شرایط زندگی هر انسان
شرح موقعیت‌های گوناگون از زندگی انسان‌های گوناگون که با شکست همراه بوده و به نظر نویسنده، چیزی طبیعی‌تر از این شکست در زندگی انسان وجود نداره، در واقع موفقیت هست که غیر طبیعیه
پس شرمی تو شکست نیست، حتی قرار نیست شکست سکویی باشه برای موفقیت، شکست خود زندگیه، خودِ خودِ زندگی در طبیعی‌ترین حالت ممکن
کتابی راهنما محور یا دارای دستورالعمل و این‌ها نیست و قرار نیست با خواندنش کاری رو انجام بدیم، بلکه قراره اگر بتونیم به آگاهی برسیم، به شهود حقیقی بودن شکست، عادی بودن شکست

زندگی در جمهوری ناکامی غیرقابل تحمل نیست، اما ریز به ریزش این تصور را به مردم می‌دهد که جای دیگری زندگی بهتری هست. همه مردم با حسرت و غبطه به کشور موفقیت می‌نگرند

[Shelby Bollen]

This was entertaining but it didn't have the impact on me that I was initially expecting.
I liked the writing style as it didn't have the dreaded dryness that often comes with non-fiction. Failure is a part of life and I'm a big believer that failing is a key part of the learning process. So it was refreshing to read something that was in line with my own views.

An interesting read but I was hoping for something a bit more impactful!

Many thanks to the author, publisher, and Netgalley for sending me a copy of this book in return for an honest review.

[Paige Lacy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book because it was very encouraging for anyone who has suffered failure. Contrary to what a lot of people might think, academics like me go through a long road of repeated failures and it takes a long time to get used to them. After a while, you realize that failures help to guide you onto the correct path for your career and life. This book provides a detailed description of how failure is perceived by everyone and how we can use failure to move forward in our lives. Highly recommended.

[Fred Frisbee · Rating 4 out of 5]

I did quite like this book. It's main principle is that failure is fairly universal but not expressed properly. When it is expressed it's from successful people saying how they failed on the way to success but by definition they're not failures.

It talks about how education sets us up for failure and case examples of famous people who viewed themselves as failure. Da Vinchi among them.

But I would have liked to have more about expectations links with failure and why we feel such an animalistic need to succeed and does living together in large cities create that

[Sisca · Rating 3 out of 5]

Background: From the examples used throughout the book, I would guess that Dr Joe Moran, the Author, studied psychology and literature. I knew some of the names mentioned because I read a little about the history of psychology.
Conclusion: My oersonal take away from is that we should embrace failure because it's what keeps us human. We should not be afraid of failure but acknowledge it and then keep trying.

[Tanya · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thanks to the publishers and NetGalley for the opportunity to review a digital ARC in exchange for an unbiased review..

Overall a very good read, and the chapter names were entertaining as well. “None of Us Is Proust”. “Life Is Hell, But at Least There Are Prizes”. “The Examination Dream”.

It was a good look at why we feel like failures from time to time and how to make adjustment to our ways of thinking. In this day and age of many feeling the Imposter Syndrome, this is a very good read.

[Bennzke · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nice read, interesting strories but drags on a bit in my humble opinion.

Its an interesting take that is illustrated with some fascinating examples. After the first few chapters I felt like not much is added in terms of substance, just more to illustrate the same hypothesis. Overall a good read with an idea that is very comforting but could have probably be presented in an essay. Then again, I probably wouldn't have read it if it was one.

[Jenael · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book actually drove me to tears in the last chapter. It tastes like 'Four thousand weeks'.

Its painful to admit our humanity sometimes, that we fated to fail meaninglessly in ways that cannot be recovered from, again and again. And part of life is to accept that fact.

If I read this in 2022 it would have been ranked amongst the top books I read in the whole year alongside courage to be disliked and four thousand weeks.

[Chel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great book that is really a reminder of the importance of resilience in our career management and endeavours we undertake. Too often people don't give something a go because they're worried about failure. This book is inspiring in its temptation to give it a go. Thanks to NetGalley for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Lucky · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thanks to Netgalley and Penguin for the review copy of this book.

I really enjoyed reading it. Joe Moran takes a look at the concept of failure by using a range of modern day and historical examples, including from philosophy, literature, the arts, sport, and more. It's well-written, engaging, and gave plenty of food for thought.

[Cal Davie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic. So many books "inspire" us about how failure makes us stronger. Moral gives an overview of the concept of failure, which allows us to take comfort in the fact that we fail; it sucks, but everyone does. This work is endlessly intellectually stimulating and personally comforting. It's given me such a feeling of ease to have a smile on my face whilst I say, "Yep, I fail all the time."

[Kirti · Rating 5 out of 5]

As with most of my deadlines and plans , I fail to meet them. But that does not less beautify the energy spent to move in that direction and give it up as and when my being decides to give it up. To be human is to fail. Very touching book. So honest and so merciless yet so bluntly beautiful. I loved it .