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기분이 태도가 되지 않게
집에서, 회사에서, 인간관계에서
후회가 사라지고 오해가 줄어드는 기분 사용법
사무실의 분위기를 크게 좌우하는 한 사람이 있다. 출근하면서부터 ‘나 오늘 건드리면 가만 안 둬…’ 경고를 온몸으로 뿜어낸다. 다른 직원들은 슬금슬금 눈치를 보고, 이 사람의 오늘 기분에 따라 사무실은 온탕과 냉탕을 오간다. 왜 자기 선에서 감정을 추스르지 못하고 안 좋은 기분으로 남에게 민폐를 끼치는 걸까? 하지만 그 사람의 마음도 편치는 않다. 이러면 안 된다는 걸 알면서도 밖으로 드러나는 감정을 참을 도리가 없다. 프로다운 모습을 보여야 할 일터에서도 감정 기복을 그대로 보여주면 스스로 손해를 볼 뿐이다. 회사에서뿐만 아니라, 우리는 가족에게나 친구에게 안 좋은 기분을 티 내며 소중한 사람을 질리게 만들어버리고 후회하기도 한다.
이 책은 기분을 잘 다스리지 못해 기어이 못난 태도를 보여주고 마는 사람들을 위해 쓰였다. 기분에 조종당하고 감정에 휘둘리는 이들이 꼭 알아야 하는 심리에 대해 주로 이야기한다. 우리는 왜 그리 감정에 흔들리는지, 어떻게 해야 감정이 나에게 미치는 영향을 줄일 수 있는지 명쾌한 처방을 받을 수 있다. 저자 레몬심리는 “감정을 통제해야 인생을 통제할 수 있다”고 말한다. 감정에 끌려 다니는 노예가 아니라 주인으로 바로 서는 방법을 배워야 당신의 인생이 달라질 것이다.
후회가 사라지고 오해가 줄어드는 기분 사용법
사무실의 분위기를 크게 좌우하는 한 사람이 있다. 출근하면서부터 ‘나 오늘 건드리면 가만 안 둬…’ 경고를 온몸으로 뿜어낸다. 다른 직원들은 슬금슬금 눈치를 보고, 이 사람의 오늘 기분에 따라 사무실은 온탕과 냉탕을 오간다. 왜 자기 선에서 감정을 추스르지 못하고 안 좋은 기분으로 남에게 민폐를 끼치는 걸까? 하지만 그 사람의 마음도 편치는 않다. 이러면 안 된다는 걸 알면서도 밖으로 드러나는 감정을 참을 도리가 없다. 프로다운 모습을 보여야 할 일터에서도 감정 기복을 그대로 보여주면 스스로 손해를 볼 뿐이다. 회사에서뿐만 아니라, 우리는 가족에게나 친구에게 안 좋은 기분을 티 내며 소중한 사람을 질리게 만들어버리고 후회하기도 한다.
이 책은 기분을 잘 다스리지 못해 기어이 못난 태도를 보여주고 마는 사람들을 위해 쓰였다. 기분에 조종당하고 감정에 휘둘리는 이들이 꼭 알아야 하는 심리에 대해 주로 이야기한다. 우리는 왜 그리 감정에 흔들리는지, 어떻게 해야 감정이 나에게 미치는 영향을 줄일 수 있는지 명쾌한 처방을 받을 수 있다. 저자 레몬심리는 “감정을 통제해야 인생을 통제할 수 있다”고 말한다. 감정에 끌려 다니는 노예가 아니라 주인으로 바로 서는 방법을 배워야 당신의 인생이 달라질 것이다.
196 pages, Unknown Binding
Published June 30, 2020
3 people are currently reading
15 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
January 14, 2021
너무 솔직하면 안되고 너무 가식떨어도안되고
화를 내선 안되고 그렇다고 화를 묵혀도 안되고
감정을 다 들어내선 안되고 그렇다고 감정을 묻어두면 안되고
뭐 어쩌라고 나보고
화를 내선 안되고 그렇다고 화를 묵혀도 안되고
감정을 다 들어내선 안되고 그렇다고 감정을 묻어두면 안되고
뭐 어쩌라고 나보고
February 29, 2024
To see a person's true colors, you have to look at when they are in a bad mood.
It is very important how you react when you are criticized by others. There are few people who welcome other people's concerns, so it is a perfect situation for one's own faults to be revealed. One time, I made a bitter comment to a friend, but seeing him take my story seriously yet refreshingly changed my impression of him completely.
However, I have seen far more people whose emotions take precedence than people who have a good attitude. Some people feel attacked when a problem is pointed out to them. You can't feel good when you've been attacked. Unable to hide how upset they are, they make lame excuses or blame the other person for no reason.
But the more you make excuses, the more you feel like you can't break away.
Even if they already recognize that they are wrong, why do people make excuses? Generally, it is to protect one's pride. From a psychological perspective, making excuses is one of the human instincts for self-protection.
If you fail to use others' opinions in a more positive and healthy way, you may appear strong on the outside, but in reality, it is easy to become a weak and narrow-minded person.
At first glance, it may seem like the other person's words are meant to hurt you, but in reality, they are often misunderstandings created by your own feelings.
We are not children who cry and throw tantrums when our feelings are hurt. Children do not know exactly what emotions they are feeling, so they speak with their facial expressions and body. But adults are different. You can accurately recognize the type of emotion and express it differently depending on it. Also, unless your emotions are extremely passionate, you can control them yourself. If you want to let go of your bad feelings, you can do so without causing trouble to others.
When you feel bad for no apparent reason, ask yourself three questions.Did you eat properly?Did you sleep well these days?Are you getting some exercise?When I ask myself these questions, it turns out that there were many times when I wasn't taking good care of my body. Every time this happened, I felt relieved inside. If mood changes for no apparent reason are an essay question with an ambiguous answer, mood changes due to physical condition are like a math problem with a clear answer. The body doesn't lie, so just exercising and getting enough sleep made me feel better.
One day, I felt nervous for no reason, but I ate some chocolate and immediately calmed down. Because I was working so hard, I was missing my body's signal that it was running out of sugar. There have been times when I immediately felt better with a glass of water. Even a single meal should not be taken lightly. Nutritionists say mood swings are also related to food.
One more. It is best not to make important decisions when you are hungry or tired. Because we look at the world with colored glasses, our judgment at this time is not reliable. If your mind is not clear because you haven't slept in a few days, don't study anything, and if you have an important meeting, postpone it. This is because negative comments can ruin the meeting. Lack of sleep causes irritability, increases stress, and reduces confidence.
The emotion we need to be most wary of in others is depression. If the other person is very angry, we can defend ourselves. Anger is a stimulating energy, so you can quickly realize that it is not good for you. Sometimes we think critically about people who are very angry. But depression is different. The energy of a depressed person spreads very slowly. Helplessness is also another person's emotion that we must be wary of. If one team member frequently says things like “I don’t think it will work out” or “Let’s just do it roughly,” the entire team will gradually lose morale.
When energy thieves expect you to make the same complaint or agree with their opinions, boldly ignore them. It’s okay if the flow of conversation is slightly off because of me. It is more important to protect yourself in a conversation filled with negative stories, such as habitually swearing at others and blaming others for problems.
There are no good or bad emotions. There are only good and bad actions that arise from emotions.
The desire to not be noticed by others led to a posture that made the body as small as possible. I advised J that he should first get into the habit of relaxing his body and straightening his shoulders. I often look closely at the posture of people who say they are in pain. This is because the body and mind are more closely connected than we think. Just as various emotions affect the body, changing body posture also affects emotions. If you adopt a confident posture, you will actually feel more confident, and just straightening your body from crouching will reduce the lump in your heart.The body changes the mind, and the mind changes behavior. Paying attention to your body is so important.People live with traces of time engraved on their faces. The years we pass, every change in our thoughts, values, and psychological state leaves a mark on our faces. There is some scientific basis for this. Psychological changes cause differences in the concentration of neurotransmitters, build muscles, and change facial expressions. People who maintain a certain emotion for a long time do not have much change in their facial expressions, but people who are always anxious and depressed develop an ‘anxious face’. People who are not generous to others and are stingy have pettiness reflected on their faces.When you feel inferior, you naturally shrink, lower your head, and cross your fingers.If you find yourself lowering your head due to lack of confidence, force yourself to raise your head and look straight ahead.I hope you maintain a good heart and pure appearance like a child.
What are you thinking?! Just doing it, whatever!
Although it may become dull over time, the experience of being hurt by family or betrayed by a friend is not easily erased. Even if you become an adult and handle your work with excellent judgment and have an active social life, shocking events stick in your memory and never go away. These memories instantly turn a grown adult back into a helpless child. People or objects related to the experience of being abused, or even trivial, meaningless actions, can stimulate trauma.
The fundamental reason why bad memories last long is because the emotions were not processed properly at the time. Although the incident has been over for a long time, the pain continues to this day.
People like this are caught up in an inferiority complex, thinking that they are having a hard time for this long because they are weak.
It is very important how you react when you are criticized by others. There are few people who welcome other people's concerns, so it is a perfect situation for one's own faults to be revealed. One time, I made a bitter comment to a friend, but seeing him take my story seriously yet refreshingly changed my impression of him completely.
However, I have seen far more people whose emotions take precedence than people who have a good attitude. Some people feel attacked when a problem is pointed out to them. You can't feel good when you've been attacked. Unable to hide how upset they are, they make lame excuses or blame the other person for no reason.
But the more you make excuses, the more you feel like you can't break away.
Even if they already recognize that they are wrong, why do people make excuses? Generally, it is to protect one's pride. From a psychological perspective, making excuses is one of the human instincts for self-protection.
If you fail to use others' opinions in a more positive and healthy way, you may appear strong on the outside, but in reality, it is easy to become a weak and narrow-minded person.
At first glance, it may seem like the other person's words are meant to hurt you, but in reality, they are often misunderstandings created by your own feelings.
We are not children who cry and throw tantrums when our feelings are hurt. Children do not know exactly what emotions they are feeling, so they speak with their facial expressions and body. But adults are different. You can accurately recognize the type of emotion and express it differently depending on it. Also, unless your emotions are extremely passionate, you can control them yourself. If you want to let go of your bad feelings, you can do so without causing trouble to others.
When you feel bad for no apparent reason, ask yourself three questions.Did you eat properly?Did you sleep well these days?Are you getting some exercise?When I ask myself these questions, it turns out that there were many times when I wasn't taking good care of my body. Every time this happened, I felt relieved inside. If mood changes for no apparent reason are an essay question with an ambiguous answer, mood changes due to physical condition are like a math problem with a clear answer. The body doesn't lie, so just exercising and getting enough sleep made me feel better.
One day, I felt nervous for no reason, but I ate some chocolate and immediately calmed down. Because I was working so hard, I was missing my body's signal that it was running out of sugar. There have been times when I immediately felt better with a glass of water. Even a single meal should not be taken lightly. Nutritionists say mood swings are also related to food.
One more. It is best not to make important decisions when you are hungry or tired. Because we look at the world with colored glasses, our judgment at this time is not reliable. If your mind is not clear because you haven't slept in a few days, don't study anything, and if you have an important meeting, postpone it. This is because negative comments can ruin the meeting. Lack of sleep causes irritability, increases stress, and reduces confidence.
The emotion we need to be most wary of in others is depression. If the other person is very angry, we can defend ourselves. Anger is a stimulating energy, so you can quickly realize that it is not good for you. Sometimes we think critically about people who are very angry. But depression is different. The energy of a depressed person spreads very slowly. Helplessness is also another person's emotion that we must be wary of. If one team member frequently says things like “I don’t think it will work out” or “Let’s just do it roughly,” the entire team will gradually lose morale.
When energy thieves expect you to make the same complaint or agree with their opinions, boldly ignore them. It’s okay if the flow of conversation is slightly off because of me. It is more important to protect yourself in a conversation filled with negative stories, such as habitually swearing at others and blaming others for problems.
There are no good or bad emotions. There are only good and bad actions that arise from emotions.
The desire to not be noticed by others led to a posture that made the body as small as possible. I advised J that he should first get into the habit of relaxing his body and straightening his shoulders. I often look closely at the posture of people who say they are in pain. This is because the body and mind are more closely connected than we think. Just as various emotions affect the body, changing body posture also affects emotions. If you adopt a confident posture, you will actually feel more confident, and just straightening your body from crouching will reduce the lump in your heart.The body changes the mind, and the mind changes behavior. Paying attention to your body is so important.People live with traces of time engraved on their faces. The years we pass, every change in our thoughts, values, and psychological state leaves a mark on our faces. There is some scientific basis for this. Psychological changes cause differences in the concentration of neurotransmitters, build muscles, and change facial expressions. People who maintain a certain emotion for a long time do not have much change in their facial expressions, but people who are always anxious and depressed develop an ‘anxious face’. People who are not generous to others and are stingy have pettiness reflected on their faces.When you feel inferior, you naturally shrink, lower your head, and cross your fingers.If you find yourself lowering your head due to lack of confidence, force yourself to raise your head and look straight ahead.I hope you maintain a good heart and pure appearance like a child.
What are you thinking?! Just doing it, whatever!
Although it may become dull over time, the experience of being hurt by family or betrayed by a friend is not easily erased. Even if you become an adult and handle your work with excellent judgment and have an active social life, shocking events stick in your memory and never go away. These memories instantly turn a grown adult back into a helpless child. People or objects related to the experience of being abused, or even trivial, meaningless actions, can stimulate trauma.
The fundamental reason why bad memories last long is because the emotions were not processed properly at the time. Although the incident has been over for a long time, the pain continues to this day.
People like this are caught up in an inferiority complex, thinking that they are having a hard time for this long because they are weak.
April 21, 2025
3.8점
"인생은 자유러워 보여도 언제나 족쇄를 달고 추는 춤과 같다. 우리가 무언가에서 벗어나려고 할수록 스스로 손발을 묶는 셈이 된다. 내 크고 작은 마음들에 관심을 가져주자. 진정으로 자유로워질 수 있는 방법은 내 안에 있다."
-4장 감정을 계속 억누르다 보면 생기는 일
인간관계와 나의 관계에 있어서 꼭 필요한 정보와 꿀팁들을 간략하게 정리해놓은 책이다.
인간관계에 지치거나 억지로 웃고 있는 느낌이 드는 사람들에게 추천하고 싶은 책이다.
책이 짧아서 매일 조금씩 출근길 지하철에서 읽기 좋을 것 같다.
"인생은 자유러워 보여도 언제나 족쇄를 달고 추는 춤과 같다. 우리가 무언가에서 벗어나려고 할수록 스스로 손발을 묶는 셈이 된다. 내 크고 작은 마음들에 관심을 가져주자. 진정으로 자유로워질 수 있는 방법은 내 안에 있다."
-4장 감정을 계속 억누르다 보면 생기는 일
인간관계와 나의 관계에 있어서 꼭 필요한 정보와 꿀팁들을 간략하게 정리해놓은 책이다.
인간관계에 지치거나 억지로 웃고 있는 느낌이 드는 사람들에게 추천하고 싶은 책이다.
책이 짧아서 매일 조금씩 출근길 지하철에서 읽기 좋을 것 같다.
April 25, 2022
점심 시간 때 시간 때우기 용으로 들었다. 최근 어느 자기계발서를 교정볼 일이 있었다. 그 원고를 살펴보다 보니 요즘의 자기계발서는 어떤지 궁금해졌다.
그래서 집어든 책인데 놀랍게도 교정보던 원고와 매우 흡사할 정도로 '카더라' 정보에 의존한 삶의 지침서였다.
그럼에도 이 책이 리뷰가 있는 이유는 그런 조언과 지침이 절실한 이들이 많기 때문이라는 생각을 하며 조금 씁쓸해졌다. 눈을 돌려 조금만 더 다양한 도서나 다른 유형의 콘텐츠를 접하면 더 깊은 인사이트를 얻을 수 있을 텐데...
어쨌든 간에 도음은 되었다.
그래서 집어든 책인데 놀랍게도 교정보던 원고와 매우 흡사할 정도로 '카더라' 정보에 의존한 삶의 지침서였다.
그럼에도 이 책이 리뷰가 있는 이유는 그런 조언과 지침이 절실한 이들이 많기 때문이라는 생각을 하며 조금 씁쓸해졌다. 눈을 돌려 조금만 더 다양한 도서나 다른 유형의 콘텐츠를 접하면 더 깊은 인사이트를 얻을 수 있을 텐데...
어쨌든 간에 도음은 되었다.
January 10, 2025
It's an acceptable introduction to self-help/self-improvement book. It's reads like a collection of essays written by regular people who's had an "aha" realization that may or may not help some people.
June 18, 2022
누구나 알만 한 이야기를 너무 뻔하게 써놓은 책
September 1, 2023
Hay á. Sách self-help tuy nhiều khi toàn điều sáo rỗng nhưng thi thoảng vẫn nên đọc, giúp mình nghiệm ra nhiều điều.
January 17, 2024
우울증에 걸린 사람이 듣기에 좋은 조언들이 많이 있습니다. 뻔한 얘기지만 그 뻔한 얘기조차 듣는것 참 좋아요. 따른 사람들도 똑같은 감정을 느끼구나라고도 했고. 재미있게 잘 들었어요.
April 22, 2021
나 자신을 잘 아는 것이 중요하다는 것은 새삼 다시 깨닫게 해주는 글. 뻔한 말들이지만 “생각을 바꿔보는 건 어때요?”라는 상담 내용을 읽고, 나에게 적용해보니 며칠 간 괴롭히던 생각으로부터 순식간에 마음이 편해졌다.
뻔한 조언도 때론 조언이 될 수 있기 때문에 읽는 글📖
뻔한 조언도 때론 조언이 될 수 있기 때문에 읽는 글📖
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews