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Comparisonitis
An upbeat, inspirational guide to finding happiness in an often toxic social media world, from bestselling author Melissa Ambrosini.
Comparisonitis / com·par·isoni·tis/ (noun)
The compulsion to compare one's accomplishments to another's to determine relative importance.
We've all felt it - that sinking feeling when you start comparing yourself to someone else. Maybe it's a friend, maybe it's someone on social media, maybe it's just a random person on the street. Whatever the situation, you're suddenly convinced that the other person is better than you (or smarter, or more successful, or more WHATEVER) and you're left feeling gutted, deflated, and completely worthless.
That feeling is called comparisonitis. And if you've suffered from it, you are NOT alone.
Comparisonitis is a toxic condition that occurs when you compare yourself to others so frequently and fiercely that you're left paralysed, with your confidence in tatters and your self-worth plummeting. It can lead to a whole range of negative outcomes - including depression, anxiety, overthinking, envy, guilt, regret and defensiveness. And yet instead of moving away from this culture of comparison, it seems that we're leaning into it more than ever before...
But enough is enough! Join bestselling author Melissa Ambrosini to discover why we fall prey to comparisonitis, how to free yourself from this toxic affliction, and how to raise your self worth so radically that you'll never let comparison rob you of your joy again. With her signature combo of heartfelt honesty and soulful straight talk, Melissa will show you step by step how to reboot your perspective, reconnect with what matters, and live your life for you (no one else), in a radical shift towards freedom, authenticity, and full-blown self-love.
Comparisonitis / com·par·isoni·tis/ (noun)
The compulsion to compare one's accomplishments to another's to determine relative importance.
We've all felt it - that sinking feeling when you start comparing yourself to someone else. Maybe it's a friend, maybe it's someone on social media, maybe it's just a random person on the street. Whatever the situation, you're suddenly convinced that the other person is better than you (or smarter, or more successful, or more WHATEVER) and you're left feeling gutted, deflated, and completely worthless.
That feeling is called comparisonitis. And if you've suffered from it, you are NOT alone.
Comparisonitis is a toxic condition that occurs when you compare yourself to others so frequently and fiercely that you're left paralysed, with your confidence in tatters and your self-worth plummeting. It can lead to a whole range of negative outcomes - including depression, anxiety, overthinking, envy, guilt, regret and defensiveness. And yet instead of moving away from this culture of comparison, it seems that we're leaning into it more than ever before...
But enough is enough! Join bestselling author Melissa Ambrosini to discover why we fall prey to comparisonitis, how to free yourself from this toxic affliction, and how to raise your self worth so radically that you'll never let comparison rob you of your joy again. With her signature combo of heartfelt honesty and soulful straight talk, Melissa will show you step by step how to reboot your perspective, reconnect with what matters, and live your life for you (no one else), in a radical shift towards freedom, authenticity, and full-blown self-love.
224 pages, Paperback
First published April 21, 2021
104 people are currently reading
2567 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 62 reviews
May 24, 2021
I wanted to like Comparisonitis by Melissa Ambrosini more than I did, and when she addresses her own privileges in her introduction, I was sure I would love it. It felt sincere, but as the book progressed it felt more and more like it was added later as a way of addressing this beforehand.
Melissa Ambrosini's advice can be summed up in one short sentence: Just stop doing whatever you have been doing so far. To me it seems a little naïve to assume that the readers have not already tried to change the way they compare themselves to others. I know I have.
I do think she has some great advice, and that she talks about some very important and complex topics, but my main issue is the way she talks about health. Her whole take on healthy is very privileged. For example, she suggests you should only consume organic, healthy foods, but fails to define what she means by healthy. Not all people can afford organic food or have the time or energy to move their bodies or even rest, and the author fails to see this. At one point she even calls the reader "one smart gluten-free cookie". I do not understand how she expect you to heal your relationship with your body by calling it a temple instead of a body. A body is just a body.
I felt the same way when she talks about the time we send on social media. Instead of trying to set boundaries, unfollow the people that make you feel bad about yourself, and replace them with people that inspire you, she suggests you should just cut it out of your life in a sudden and abrupt manner. Sure, it can be a way of dealing with comparing yourself to others, but it seems a little extreme, when there's actually a lot of things you could try before you decide to go down that road.
Having your phone on silent mode is in my opinion, one way of dealing with notifications and distraction which can ultimately lead to comparisons, but you could just turn off notifications for your social media apps, and only check in on new emails and comments on Instagram when you actively decides to use the apps.
Photoshopped images online are difficult to talk about, because on one hand they can contribute to a false truth about how people look (making you feel bad about yourself if you do not look that way yourself), but on the other hand I truly believe people are free do to with their bodies as they please, and Ambrosini fails to address this as well, and instead she insists on calling comparing influencers to influenza (another fun alliteration of hers). Another problem I have is how the author insist on creating smart made-up words and alliterations such as the Candle Consciousness when there is already a word for that: abundance thinking.
I ultimately lost it when she (quite late in the book) suggest you should seek help from a professional if your struggle with your mental health is too much, but one of the professionals she mentions is a holistic practitioner.
I want to make it clear that I did not hate this book. What this book does so right is addressing the toxic culture of constant comparison and its many different levels. As I previously mentioned I think she talks about some very important issues in our society, I just do not agree with how she discusses them.
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for providing me with a digital copy of the book!
Melissa Ambrosini's advice can be summed up in one short sentence: Just stop doing whatever you have been doing so far. To me it seems a little naïve to assume that the readers have not already tried to change the way they compare themselves to others. I know I have.
I do think she has some great advice, and that she talks about some very important and complex topics, but my main issue is the way she talks about health. Her whole take on healthy is very privileged. For example, she suggests you should only consume organic, healthy foods, but fails to define what she means by healthy. Not all people can afford organic food or have the time or energy to move their bodies or even rest, and the author fails to see this. At one point she even calls the reader "one smart gluten-free cookie". I do not understand how she expect you to heal your relationship with your body by calling it a temple instead of a body. A body is just a body.
I felt the same way when she talks about the time we send on social media. Instead of trying to set boundaries, unfollow the people that make you feel bad about yourself, and replace them with people that inspire you, she suggests you should just cut it out of your life in a sudden and abrupt manner. Sure, it can be a way of dealing with comparing yourself to others, but it seems a little extreme, when there's actually a lot of things you could try before you decide to go down that road.
Having your phone on silent mode is in my opinion, one way of dealing with notifications and distraction which can ultimately lead to comparisons, but you could just turn off notifications for your social media apps, and only check in on new emails and comments on Instagram when you actively decides to use the apps.
Photoshopped images online are difficult to talk about, because on one hand they can contribute to a false truth about how people look (making you feel bad about yourself if you do not look that way yourself), but on the other hand I truly believe people are free do to with their bodies as they please, and Ambrosini fails to address this as well, and instead she insists on calling comparing influencers to influenza (another fun alliteration of hers). Another problem I have is how the author insist on creating smart made-up words and alliterations such as the Candle Consciousness when there is already a word for that: abundance thinking.
I ultimately lost it when she (quite late in the book) suggest you should seek help from a professional if your struggle with your mental health is too much, but one of the professionals she mentions is a holistic practitioner.
I want to make it clear that I did not hate this book. What this book does so right is addressing the toxic culture of constant comparison and its many different levels. As I previously mentioned I think she talks about some very important issues in our society, I just do not agree with how she discusses them.
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for providing me with a digital copy of the book!
September 17, 2021
A book in need indeed.
No matter how hard we try to convince ourselves that we are doing our best, we always find ourselves comparing ourselves with those with more "followers", more "likes" and more "deals" when what we don't actually see is how they have started and struggled their way out.
This book provides a good insight on how we compare ourselves with the "successful" people everytime we scroll through our social media feed and putting ourselves down making ourselves stress out for nothing.
Does it do anything good by the way?
I face the same dilemma almost everyday. But it needs some proper insight from somewhere (because no one actually talk about such stuffs or discuss as a main topic while one post or the other pops up now and then to reassure ourselves that it is okay to be where we are).
The book is divided into three basic sections which deals with how the problem arises, how to face with it and how to deal with it.
I find the book quite helpful and now I feel more creative and productive already considering the tips and the acceptance of what's already been.
We all need to book, more so when we are adults. That's when it hits the most.
Thank you author and the publisher for the advance reading copy.
No matter how hard we try to convince ourselves that we are doing our best, we always find ourselves comparing ourselves with those with more "followers", more "likes" and more "deals" when what we don't actually see is how they have started and struggled their way out.
This book provides a good insight on how we compare ourselves with the "successful" people everytime we scroll through our social media feed and putting ourselves down making ourselves stress out for nothing.
Does it do anything good by the way?
I face the same dilemma almost everyday. But it needs some proper insight from somewhere (because no one actually talk about such stuffs or discuss as a main topic while one post or the other pops up now and then to reassure ourselves that it is okay to be where we are).
The book is divided into three basic sections which deals with how the problem arises, how to face with it and how to deal with it.
I find the book quite helpful and now I feel more creative and productive already considering the tips and the acceptance of what's already been.
We all need to book, more so when we are adults. That's when it hits the most.
Thank you author and the publisher for the advance reading copy.
July 7, 2021
Comparisonitis is a needed self-help book in this digitised world of social media and increasing pace. Melissa has a knack for simplifying concepts in a simple and digestible way. Many Gen Z'ds and Millenials would find this a bubbly, fun, and non-confronting start to their inner-work journey. However, I was concerned that Melissa appropriates well established concepts within psychology and psychotherapy without acknowledging these modalities. Particularly, her strategies have been derived from Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). It would have been much preferred if Melissa had acknowledged the basis of her strategies and the strength of well established psychological skills in combating negative thinking patterns. It would have given her book more credibility to use her platform to discuss her perspective in context of these therapeutic approaches.
January 20, 2022
I loved the first 2/3 of this book. Nothin earth shattering, but it was inspiring and positive. Found that the last part of the book really dragged on and it was very focused on parenting, which I didnt expect going into it
I did enjoy the exercises though and have found that I am more aware of certain habits.
I did enjoy the exercises though and have found that I am more aware of certain habits.
Read
August 2, 2024Life changing
April 7, 2022
I've been following Melissa's podcast for over a year now, and decided to invest in two of her books, "Comparisonitis" and "Mastering your Mean Girl". Melissa's podcasts have transformed my life and brought me so much joy. Some of the guests she has on are so refreshing and their conversations are so profound. That being said, the book is a great accompany to her podcast.
There's some valuable information in the book if you just look for it and you apply it to your life. I especially LOVED the flow chart on how to feel your feelings. And I loved the part about letting go of the things you can't control take up energy and space.
There was some information that was repeated from Melissa's other book "Mastering Your Mean Girl" and a few chapters at the end that just didn't apply to me regarding kids. Just because I can't apply this to my own life, doesn't mean I don't think it's valuable to parents or people who love kids.
There's some valuable information in the book if you just look for it and you apply it to your life. I especially LOVED the flow chart on how to feel your feelings. And I loved the part about letting go of the things you can't control take up energy and space.
There was some information that was repeated from Melissa's other book "Mastering Your Mean Girl" and a few chapters at the end that just didn't apply to me regarding kids. Just because I can't apply this to my own life, doesn't mean I don't think it's valuable to parents or people who love kids.
June 22, 2021
If you, like me, are afflicted with “comparisonitis,” then this is a must-read! Melissa Ambrosini shares her personal stories of comparing herself to others, as well as techniques for getting the comparing under control. Some food for thought: “Comparison turns toxic when we attribute meaning to the differences we observe.” So glad to have happened upon this book, especially at a time when social media really fuels comparisonitis!
December 4, 2022
Interesting book. I had never heard of this author but I did enjoy reading this. Comparisonitis is hard to get away from. I know I suffer from it. I give into that feeling way too often. I have self-help books everywhere and this one is pretty good. I have quoted it a few times to friends.
I am thankful to have gotten a digital copy to review from the publisher and NetGalley. There are some good tools in here. Check it out!
I am thankful to have gotten a digital copy to review from the publisher and NetGalley. There are some good tools in here. Check it out!
August 1, 2024
My goal for July was to read a self-help book and I couldn’t think of a better topic for myself than comparisonitis. I enjoyed the first 2/3 of this book as I felt lots of connections! The last few chapters focused on parenting, which I couldn’t really connect at this time in my life. I enjoyed the workbook exercises as it kept me engaged and held me accountable.
June 25, 2021
Not quite what I thought it would be but a very well written and researched book.
July 25, 2021
A readable book regarding the trap of comparisonitis. Melissa Ambrosini addresses her privilege in the beginning of the book which was great and goes on to deliver advice on the above topic. Unfortunately this advice can be boiled down to one sentence: stop doing whatever you have been doing. Some more strategies and guides would have enhanced this book ten-fold and I definitely wanted to like it more then I did. Another mediocre self-help book in a market flooded with self help books.
November 25, 2021
Sadly my only takeaway from this book was don’t read it if you have a tendency to compare on social media. The privilege of the author really rubbed me the wrong way. In the first portion of the book the author talks about how, herself a skinny attractive and amicable person was comparing herself to other skinny, attractive and lovely young women. Oh if only we were all so. For all the larger girls like myself this left a bad taste. Then there was the idea that one could simply stop comparing yourself to others. Like a switch, just flip it and your a-ok.
I actually wanted to like this book and gain some real insight into this author (I’ve not read her other works). It felt fabricated to appeal to the masses when it really may only appeal to a smaller group. It does sound like her stories were her own though. I will say that. Just that the books direction and perspective were written to sell this book to the mass market.
I actually wanted to like this book and gain some real insight into this author (I’ve not read her other works). It felt fabricated to appeal to the masses when it really may only appeal to a smaller group. It does sound like her stories were her own though. I will say that. Just that the books direction and perspective were written to sell this book to the mass market.
August 3, 2023
A must read for anyone living in today's social media saturated world but an especially important read for anyone parenting through these rapidly changing times. Written with a perfect balance of entertaining light hearted humour and serious lessons, Melissa offers great tools for managing bouts of comparisonitis which none of us are immune from - a human condition which has existed from the dawn of time but which has been hurtled to pandemic levels with the emergence of a continuously growing pool f social media platforms giving us all access to an infinite source of comparison 😊. There is a whole chapter dedicated to helping kids both avoid and manage this condition which is particularily useful 👍⭐
July 7, 2022
I would give it 2.5 stars. I guess the rating depends on how far you are in the comparisonitis trap yourself. If you are constantly comparing yourself to others and regularly having negative thoughts about yourself because of it, then this book could be very helpful to you. But if you have already somewhere read tips about unfollowing social media accounts that make you feel bad and are aware of the tricks influencers use when posting their “flawless” photos, and you love yourself enough to realise you can be happy about your friends achievements without sabotaging your self-worth, then this book won’t give you that much, it will be more like a reminder to stop scrolling and go out in the real world to enjoy and live your life.
January 28, 2025
This is one of those books that's worth reading if you can take away just one good piece of advice—and it's full of so many that I can almost guarantee you will. Mine? "Our urge to compare ourselves to someone else decreases as the differences we perceive between us and them increase." That's good stuff right there.
THE GREAT
• This book is chock full of great tips! It would be super easy to fill a book with a topic like this with fluff, but instead, it feels like each and every subsection contains its own action item or new perspective.
• I LOVE Melissa Ambrosini's voice. I know reviews are split about this, but I will take all the puns, thank you very much.
• This book felt like a labor of love! It felt very much like Ambrosini was writing the book she needed to read (or imagined people who thought like her needed to read). That makes the book feel more personal, intimate, and real.
THE IFFY
• As other reviewers have said, if you didn't already have a "comparisonitis" problem before you started this book, I could see this book starting one, simply because it focuses so, so much on why one might be comparing oneself to others/how one might not be measuring up. I realize that yes, you have to call the problem out to solve it, but the book seems to assume that all readers struggle in all of the areas discussed. At one point while reading I found myself wondering if something was wrong with me because I wasn't comparing myself to people as much as the book said I should—a little ironic, eh?
• While Ambrosini calls out her privilege early in the book (props for that!), on a very practical level, I found it hard to relate to many of the examples and problems she discussed because, well, we're simply in very different tax brackets and live very different lives.
• It's very brave of Ambrosini to vulnerably share so much of her own story, but the way she discusses her history of disordered eating feels incredibly triggering.
WHO IS THIS BOOK BEST FOR?
I think this book's ideal reader would be a millennial parent (the book ends with a focus on parenting) who is heavily immersed in the social media sphere. If that's not you—it's not me!—you can probably get something out of it, but it won't be your dream book.
In full transparency, I got about halfway through this book and then put it down for, well, about four years because I was struggling so much with the content in the "THE IFFY" section. It's not for me personally, but I can see it being the perfect book for its ideal audience. And, since my rule for reviews is to ask myself, "Did this do what it was trying to do?" that makes it a solid 4-star read in my book! Not for me, but it's not the book's fault that I'm not the ideal reader.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for sharing an ARC copy of this book in exchange for an honest review! I'm so sorry it took so long. 😅 All opinions are, of course, my own.
THE GREAT
• This book is chock full of great tips! It would be super easy to fill a book with a topic like this with fluff, but instead, it feels like each and every subsection contains its own action item or new perspective.
• I LOVE Melissa Ambrosini's voice. I know reviews are split about this, but I will take all the puns, thank you very much.
• This book felt like a labor of love! It felt very much like Ambrosini was writing the book she needed to read (or imagined people who thought like her needed to read). That makes the book feel more personal, intimate, and real.
THE IFFY
• As other reviewers have said, if you didn't already have a "comparisonitis" problem before you started this book, I could see this book starting one, simply because it focuses so, so much on why one might be comparing oneself to others/how one might not be measuring up. I realize that yes, you have to call the problem out to solve it, but the book seems to assume that all readers struggle in all of the areas discussed. At one point while reading I found myself wondering if something was wrong with me because I wasn't comparing myself to people as much as the book said I should—a little ironic, eh?
• While Ambrosini calls out her privilege early in the book (props for that!), on a very practical level, I found it hard to relate to many of the examples and problems she discussed because, well, we're simply in very different tax brackets and live very different lives.
• It's very brave of Ambrosini to vulnerably share so much of her own story, but the way she discusses her history of disordered eating feels incredibly triggering.
WHO IS THIS BOOK BEST FOR?
I think this book's ideal reader would be a millennial parent (the book ends with a focus on parenting) who is heavily immersed in the social media sphere. If that's not you—it's not me!—you can probably get something out of it, but it won't be your dream book.
In full transparency, I got about halfway through this book and then put it down for, well, about four years because I was struggling so much with the content in the "THE IFFY" section. It's not for me personally, but I can see it being the perfect book for its ideal audience. And, since my rule for reviews is to ask myself, "Did this do what it was trying to do?" that makes it a solid 4-star read in my book! Not for me, but it's not the book's fault that I'm not the ideal reader.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for sharing an ARC copy of this book in exchange for an honest review! I'm so sorry it took so long. 😅 All opinions are, of course, my own.
May 4, 2021
Thank you to NetGalley and BenBella Books for the chance to read an early copy of this book!
I knew as soon as I saw the title that I needed this book. I had never heard of Melissa Ambrosini but comparison is something I've struggled with forever. And this book made me feel so much better! I even cried with how much some of the anecdotes hit close to home, and I'm so grateful to have this book's guidance.
This book is very breezy and readable, with lots of clearly-defined sections -- the first self-help book I've ever read where I could skip the takeaways because I'd absorbed the material so easily! The style really worked for me, even if repetitions of "comparisonitis" and "Inspo-action" (the action steps, I think it's supposed to be inspiration + action?) were grating at times, as were references to "making love" or "the dictionary defines ___ as."
A few other little things: The author pretty frequently recommends her other books, podcasts, workbooks, etc. -- I can't blame her if her whole business is selling her brand, but I don't like being pitched in the middle of a book I'm already reading. And while I thought her "behind the scenes of influencers" section was interesting, I gave some side-eye to the spiels of "I only recommend products I love and believe in" and "I never manipulate my body in photos, only lighting." There's also woowoo stuff about manifesting, spirit babies (creepy!), filtered water, and making your own toothpaste, but it fit with my stereotype of Instagram (which I don't use), haha!
I fully recognize that the above is nitpicky and cynical, but I wanted to include all my thoughts so that I can wholeheartedly say: I still loved this book and I pre-ordered a copy for myself. It was so powerful for me to see these topics discussed -- the focuses on body image, friend envy (especially fertility), social media were all things that touched so deeply. I don't have children yet, but the parenting section seemed so powerful and I'm excited to improve my own approach to comparisons so I DON'T pass down toxic thoughts to my kids. The book is full of mantras and mindset framings that I'm trying to use, and lots of useful action steps to take. I am so happy that I found this book, and I'm looking forward to doing a better job of keeping my eyes on my own lane and appreciating my own journey.
I knew as soon as I saw the title that I needed this book. I had never heard of Melissa Ambrosini but comparison is something I've struggled with forever. And this book made me feel so much better! I even cried with how much some of the anecdotes hit close to home, and I'm so grateful to have this book's guidance.
This book is very breezy and readable, with lots of clearly-defined sections -- the first self-help book I've ever read where I could skip the takeaways because I'd absorbed the material so easily! The style really worked for me, even if repetitions of "comparisonitis" and "Inspo-action" (the action steps, I think it's supposed to be inspiration + action?) were grating at times, as were references to "making love" or "the dictionary defines ___ as."
A few other little things: The author pretty frequently recommends her other books, podcasts, workbooks, etc. -- I can't blame her if her whole business is selling her brand, but I don't like being pitched in the middle of a book I'm already reading. And while I thought her "behind the scenes of influencers" section was interesting, I gave some side-eye to the spiels of "I only recommend products I love and believe in" and "I never manipulate my body in photos, only lighting." There's also woowoo stuff about manifesting, spirit babies (creepy!), filtered water, and making your own toothpaste, but it fit with my stereotype of Instagram (which I don't use), haha!
I fully recognize that the above is nitpicky and cynical, but I wanted to include all my thoughts so that I can wholeheartedly say: I still loved this book and I pre-ordered a copy for myself. It was so powerful for me to see these topics discussed -- the focuses on body image, friend envy (especially fertility), social media were all things that touched so deeply. I don't have children yet, but the parenting section seemed so powerful and I'm excited to improve my own approach to comparisons so I DON'T pass down toxic thoughts to my kids. The book is full of mantras and mindset framings that I'm trying to use, and lots of useful action steps to take. I am so happy that I found this book, and I'm looking forward to doing a better job of keeping my eyes on my own lane and appreciating my own journey.
May 11, 2021
The title alone: Comparisonitis by Melissa Ambrosini. Reflecting on my own life, I will have to say, “Yes, I do compare myself to others quite a bit.” Comparisonitis is quite common in this day and age of social media. How often are we looking at everyone else’s highlight reels and assuming that’s their every day? How often do we wish we had or did something that influencers are doing? Yes, this is a perfect book for me, and highly likely anyone else who finds themselves sucked into social media.
Every day my husband insists I’m addicted to social media. And every day I disagree. But is he right? Can I ignore my phone and tablet and not go onto social media? I’ve done social media weekend fasts and that was actually pretty liberating! So much so that I’m considering making that a permanent thing!
Anyways, let’s get into this book. Ms Ambrosini goes into the various ways anyone who’s anything compares themselves to others on social media. She also offers tips on how to overcome that. She makes very good points and even has a chapter for our children! There’s also a chapter about what influencers really go through just to get that perfect shot! You know how many camera shots and angles you need to take before you get that ONE great photo you want to share? Yes, influencers go through that, too!
It’s important that we not allow what we see, or don’t see, on our social media affect us or those we love. I mean, let’s face it; getting depressed and upset about your good friend’s well behaved kids or the neighbor’s recent trip to Greece. We mustn’t let what other people do or post to control our behavior or attitude. Let’s all work towards eliminating our comparisonitis!
Special thanks to BenBella Books and NetGalley for this useful read! I give Comparisonitis by Melissa Ambrosini 5 out of 5 tiaras because it’s very informative and relatable. I appreciate all the suggestions on how to overcome comparisonitis!
Every day my husband insists I’m addicted to social media. And every day I disagree. But is he right? Can I ignore my phone and tablet and not go onto social media? I’ve done social media weekend fasts and that was actually pretty liberating! So much so that I’m considering making that a permanent thing!
Anyways, let’s get into this book. Ms Ambrosini goes into the various ways anyone who’s anything compares themselves to others on social media. She also offers tips on how to overcome that. She makes very good points and even has a chapter for our children! There’s also a chapter about what influencers really go through just to get that perfect shot! You know how many camera shots and angles you need to take before you get that ONE great photo you want to share? Yes, influencers go through that, too!
It’s important that we not allow what we see, or don’t see, on our social media affect us or those we love. I mean, let’s face it; getting depressed and upset about your good friend’s well behaved kids or the neighbor’s recent trip to Greece. We mustn’t let what other people do or post to control our behavior or attitude. Let’s all work towards eliminating our comparisonitis!
Special thanks to BenBella Books and NetGalley for this useful read! I give Comparisonitis by Melissa Ambrosini 5 out of 5 tiaras because it’s very informative and relatable. I appreciate all the suggestions on how to overcome comparisonitis!
January 17, 2023
I received "Comparisonitis" by Melissa Ambrosini as a review copy on Netgalley from BenBella books, so I would love to start by thanking them. I do also want to mention, that although I received this book as a review copy, I do only give you my honest opinion and review of this book.
First of all, I have to comment on the title because it is just amazing! I love that title!
I love that even though this is a serious and important topic to be taken seriously, Melissa Ambrosini makes some smart moves, being humourous in this book. Comparison is a difficult topic to discuss and especially to try and come up with a solution.
Sometimes, or most often, we do not realize it when we compare ourselves to someone else. We need a wake-up call to even realize that. And even when we realize, it is hard to stop this comparison. It just sticks with you.
The book is divided into three sections: the problem, the prescription, and the remedies and antidotes. In these different sections, Melissa Ambrosini guides you and helps you to succeed in your process! In the book, Melissa Ambrosini furthermore gives you some techniques you can start using today to stop comparing yourself all the time.
This is a book you can read multiple times, and I am sure you will learn a lot every time you read it.
This is a book we can all identify with and understand! And I love that Melissa Ambrosini uses herself and her stories to make them seem even more applicable to us as readers. This was a very positive read for me, and I certainly learned a lot!
Melissa Ambrosini writes engagingly and humorously. I love her writing style!
First of all, I have to comment on the title because it is just amazing! I love that title!
I love that even though this is a serious and important topic to be taken seriously, Melissa Ambrosini makes some smart moves, being humourous in this book. Comparison is a difficult topic to discuss and especially to try and come up with a solution.
Sometimes, or most often, we do not realize it when we compare ourselves to someone else. We need a wake-up call to even realize that. And even when we realize, it is hard to stop this comparison. It just sticks with you.
The book is divided into three sections: the problem, the prescription, and the remedies and antidotes. In these different sections, Melissa Ambrosini guides you and helps you to succeed in your process! In the book, Melissa Ambrosini furthermore gives you some techniques you can start using today to stop comparing yourself all the time.
This is a book you can read multiple times, and I am sure you will learn a lot every time you read it.
This is a book we can all identify with and understand! And I love that Melissa Ambrosini uses herself and her stories to make them seem even more applicable to us as readers. This was a very positive read for me, and I certainly learned a lot!
Melissa Ambrosini writes engagingly and humorously. I love her writing style!
May 5, 2021
The lovely Melissa Ambrosini has done it again!
Thank you NetGalley for the advance copy of "Comparisonitis". When I read that this was the title of Melissa's latest book, I have to be honest. I wondered how she could really write a whole book about how we compare ourselves to one another. It seemed like a subject that could be just a chapter and indeed has been just a chapter in many self-help books.
Comparison really is the thief of joy, and in "Comparisonitis" we see how it is really embedded in so many parts of our lives. Melissa Ambrosini was in the best place in her life to write this book, as while she was writing she was struggling to fall pregnant while watching others fall pregnant around her. It's a very real situation to many women. It's an absolute joy to know that by the end of the book, she had fallen pregnant and upon the book's release, gave birth on that week.
This book is one which everyone should read. You don't even realise how much comparison is going on in our life until you read and see so much of yourself in the words. There are some unicorns out there who do not compare themselves to others, but ...yes..unicorns they are.
Beyond reading this book, I found myself face-to-face with situations where I compared myself to others. It was a great test, and "Comparisonitis" really did give me the tools to help fix this.
Like her other books, Melissa writes from a place of love. Her writing style is like a big cuddle. Something some people may not gel with, but those who are open to it will adore.
Eye-opening and life-changing.
Thank you NetGalley for the advance copy of "Comparisonitis". When I read that this was the title of Melissa's latest book, I have to be honest. I wondered how she could really write a whole book about how we compare ourselves to one another. It seemed like a subject that could be just a chapter and indeed has been just a chapter in many self-help books.
Comparison really is the thief of joy, and in "Comparisonitis" we see how it is really embedded in so many parts of our lives. Melissa Ambrosini was in the best place in her life to write this book, as while she was writing she was struggling to fall pregnant while watching others fall pregnant around her. It's a very real situation to many women. It's an absolute joy to know that by the end of the book, she had fallen pregnant and upon the book's release, gave birth on that week.
This book is one which everyone should read. You don't even realise how much comparison is going on in our life until you read and see so much of yourself in the words. There are some unicorns out there who do not compare themselves to others, but ...yes..unicorns they are.
Beyond reading this book, I found myself face-to-face with situations where I compared myself to others. It was a great test, and "Comparisonitis" really did give me the tools to help fix this.
Like her other books, Melissa writes from a place of love. Her writing style is like a big cuddle. Something some people may not gel with, but those who are open to it will adore.
Eye-opening and life-changing.
May 5, 2021
Do you compare yourself with others all the time? I know that I do. Melissa Ambrosini got herself into such a state partly by doing this that she ended up in hospital! Comparing yourself to others can be good if it is inspirational, but in most cases it is toxic, destructive and a waste of time. Envy even leads to hostility for no reason, as we all know. Regard it as an illness, and treat it with Melissa's techniques and suggestions, which I will certainly try!
She worked in industries as a dancer, actor and TV presenter, where comparison was actually encouraged, and for a long time she failed to see why her self-esteem was low. When she finally did, she concluded that each one of us is a miracle, and worked out a technique called ACES which helps prevent 'comparisonitis'. She provides suggestions for parents, using social media and looking at the posts of Influencers. She includes helpful summaries at the end of each chapter.
Learning how to focus on positive energy, shutting the door on your Inner Critic, keeping away from social media, finding your purpose in life - all these will help. Melissa shows readers how to stay away from toxic comparisons, and use comparisons to inspire them in a positive way.
I received this free ebook from NetGalley in return for an honest review.
She worked in industries as a dancer, actor and TV presenter, where comparison was actually encouraged, and for a long time she failed to see why her self-esteem was low. When she finally did, she concluded that each one of us is a miracle, and worked out a technique called ACES which helps prevent 'comparisonitis'. She provides suggestions for parents, using social media and looking at the posts of Influencers. She includes helpful summaries at the end of each chapter.
Learning how to focus on positive energy, shutting the door on your Inner Critic, keeping away from social media, finding your purpose in life - all these will help. Melissa shows readers how to stay away from toxic comparisons, and use comparisons to inspire them in a positive way.
I received this free ebook from NetGalley in return for an honest review.
May 15, 2021
I loved loved loved this Self Help Book by Melissa Ambrosini. It was such a feel good book read, and super easy to read. Melissa’s writing style is like she is one of your long lost best friends, when she writes it’s like she is speaking directly to you.
I loved how she was so open vulnerable with sharing her own eating disorder struggles, along with many other things from wanting to become a Mum and the Challenges there, along with social media, being an Author and how she shares practical tips on how to identify Comparisonitis and treat it also.
With so many of us now using social media and having access to millions of photos and videos and people we honestly don’t know but think we do know this is an absolute Self LOVE - Self Help Book Read
I loved it so much I have even added it to my #spaitgirl book club as I think with social media not going anywhere and more apps yet to unfold this will be a very timeless book read for many generations to come.
Congratulations to Melissa Ambrosini and Benbella and Harpers Collins Publishing House for shining a lot on a very much needed topic | Self Comparison which I think we can all be guilty of doing, but hopefully after you read this book you will learn ways to no longer compare yourself again.
I loved how she was so open vulnerable with sharing her own eating disorder struggles, along with many other things from wanting to become a Mum and the Challenges there, along with social media, being an Author and how she shares practical tips on how to identify Comparisonitis and treat it also.
With so many of us now using social media and having access to millions of photos and videos and people we honestly don’t know but think we do know this is an absolute Self LOVE - Self Help Book Read
I loved it so much I have even added it to my #spaitgirl book club as I think with social media not going anywhere and more apps yet to unfold this will be a very timeless book read for many generations to come.
Congratulations to Melissa Ambrosini and Benbella and Harpers Collins Publishing House for shining a lot on a very much needed topic | Self Comparison which I think we can all be guilty of doing, but hopefully after you read this book you will learn ways to no longer compare yourself again.
April 6, 2021
This book was received as an ARC from BenBella books in exchange for an honest review. Opinions and thoughts expressed in this review are completely my own.
There is no positive word in the English Dictionary that describes how fabulous this book was. Melissa Ambrosini writes another brilliant book on the main problem that not only women struggle with but everybody in some way shape or form. I have read Open Wide and Mastering Your Inner Mean Girl and was blown away on how much I related to all of the personal stories and content she included in the books. With comparisonitis, I felt like Melissa was one of my good friends and she was calming me down and encouraging me after a meltdown and I have never got that personal connection from any author ever! Not only will I add all of her books to our collection at our library but they will be worth the investment for my personal collection also.
We will consider adding this title to our Self-Help collection at our library. That is why we give this book 5 stars.
There is no positive word in the English Dictionary that describes how fabulous this book was. Melissa Ambrosini writes another brilliant book on the main problem that not only women struggle with but everybody in some way shape or form. I have read Open Wide and Mastering Your Inner Mean Girl and was blown away on how much I related to all of the personal stories and content she included in the books. With comparisonitis, I felt like Melissa was one of my good friends and she was calming me down and encouraging me after a meltdown and I have never got that personal connection from any author ever! Not only will I add all of her books to our collection at our library but they will be worth the investment for my personal collection also.
We will consider adding this title to our Self-Help collection at our library. That is why we give this book 5 stars.
June 12, 2021
I really enjoyed this audiobook. It is great for when I’m in one of those comparison moods (for me, that usually happens with business and sometimes parenting) The first half of the book was especially good! A lot of it related to things I’ve learned in life coaching like abundance mindset (which she calls candle consciousness) but the way it was all related to comparison was a unique take.
The one thing that got kind of old to me was the constant references to “gluten free”/“organic” and talks about comparison while on the toilet/“porcelain throne”. Either would be fine a little bit but they were old after the first time but didn’t take away from the message of the book.
I also think using the real terms (like abundance mindset instead of candle consciousness) would be better for readers to be able to dig more into the tools.
All in all I enjoyed it and may listen to bits and pieces again when I’m in one of those moods!
The one thing that got kind of old to me was the constant references to “gluten free”/“organic” and talks about comparison while on the toilet/“porcelain throne”. Either would be fine a little bit but they were old after the first time but didn’t take away from the message of the book.
I also think using the real terms (like abundance mindset instead of candle consciousness) would be better for readers to be able to dig more into the tools.
All in all I enjoyed it and may listen to bits and pieces again when I’m in one of those moods!
October 30, 2025
I listened to this book as a audiobook and there was something so comforting about it, it felt like a warm hug from your best friend. I don’t know if it was the comforting voice or the cute jokes and analogies but listening to this in the morning before going to work just made my day a little bit happier.
There was not really much information here that was new, but it helped put a lot of situations into perspective and shed light on the fact that everyone has their ups and downs. Nobody’s life is perfect as much as it may seem.
I liked the chapter about social media where Melissa shed some light on the behind the scenes of the process, and the fact that being an influencer is a job without pulling anyone down. I also liked the idea of inspiring through action rather than preaching with words.
Overall this book was just a good reminder of all the life lessons you know but tend to forget when you get caught up in the rat race as an adult. I really enjoyed it :)
There was not really much information here that was new, but it helped put a lot of situations into perspective and shed light on the fact that everyone has their ups and downs. Nobody’s life is perfect as much as it may seem.
I liked the chapter about social media where Melissa shed some light on the behind the scenes of the process, and the fact that being an influencer is a job without pulling anyone down. I also liked the idea of inspiring through action rather than preaching with words.
Overall this book was just a good reminder of all the life lessons you know but tend to forget when you get caught up in the rat race as an adult. I really enjoyed it :)
May 17, 2021
Noun. Comparisonitis
The compulsion to compare one's accomplishments to another's to determine relative importance, etc.
“We've all felt it - that sinking feeling when you start comparing yourself to someone else. Maybe it's a friend, maybe it's someone on social media, maybe it's just a random person on the street. Whatever the situation, you're suddenly convinced that the other person is better than you and you're left feeling gutted, deflated, and completely worthless.”
Were all guilty of comparing our lives to others particularly in the world of social media where your highlight reels are on full display. This book teaches you to stop comparing and start being genuinely happy.
@melissaambrosini covers the problem, and the signs and symptoms of comparisonitis, changing your mindset and building immunity, antidotes and remedies. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and there were so many chapters that resonated with me. Melissa has a bunch of online resources and work sheets available to get your started on your self reflection journey.
The compulsion to compare one's accomplishments to another's to determine relative importance, etc.
“We've all felt it - that sinking feeling when you start comparing yourself to someone else. Maybe it's a friend, maybe it's someone on social media, maybe it's just a random person on the street. Whatever the situation, you're suddenly convinced that the other person is better than you and you're left feeling gutted, deflated, and completely worthless.”
Were all guilty of comparing our lives to others particularly in the world of social media where your highlight reels are on full display. This book teaches you to stop comparing and start being genuinely happy.
@melissaambrosini covers the problem, and the signs and symptoms of comparisonitis, changing your mindset and building immunity, antidotes and remedies. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and there were so many chapters that resonated with me. Melissa has a bunch of online resources and work sheets available to get your started on your self reflection journey.
June 8, 2021
Comparisonitis is surprisingly good! The author balanced her own narrative with research studies, practical tips, and applicable exercises that encourage self-reflection and self-transformation. Also, readers can download a separate, free workbook on her website, but proof of purchase is required. Unfortunately, I only received the Advance Reader Copy from NetGalley so I don’t have a receipt to submit to get the workbook. But then, the exercises in the book are still doable.
Comparisonitis is a must-read for parents, students, young professionals, influencers, or anyone who is already fed up with the destructive habit of unhealthy comparison.
Thank you, Melissa Ambrosini, BenBella Books, and NetGalley for the Advanced Reader Copy for the chance to review this book. I understand that I would give Comparisonitis an honest review.
Comparisonitis is a must-read for parents, students, young professionals, influencers, or anyone who is already fed up with the destructive habit of unhealthy comparison.
Thank you, Melissa Ambrosini, BenBella Books, and NetGalley for the Advanced Reader Copy for the chance to review this book. I understand that I would give Comparisonitis an honest review.
May 17, 2021
I appreciate the author for writing this book. I had never heard of Comparisonitis, I found myself immensely intrigued with this read. It is a quick read that has a lot of good tips and tricks to stop the habit of comparing oneself to another.
It’s really interesting that the author was writing some other novel and totally scrapped it and came up with this one. I can tell there was a lot of passion and real life lessons that this birthed this book. I will say there was a few times that I thought, “dang! I do that!” Comparison is a terrible habit that we all are guilty of doing sometimes but it’s time to break the chains.
Very good read for me. Highly recommend for a teen or young adult. Thank you NetGalley for this ARC in exchange for an honest review.
It’s really interesting that the author was writing some other novel and totally scrapped it and came up with this one. I can tell there was a lot of passion and real life lessons that this birthed this book. I will say there was a few times that I thought, “dang! I do that!” Comparison is a terrible habit that we all are guilty of doing sometimes but it’s time to break the chains.
Very good read for me. Highly recommend for a teen or young adult. Thank you NetGalley for this ARC in exchange for an honest review.
May 17, 2021
So I actually listened to the first part twice. It hit that closely to me. A lot of her struggles especially in the mental health area I can directly relate to. Not to mention I want to name my imaginary baby (also infertily warrior) Leo. Oh and my favorite movie ever is Moulin Rouge, and I have actually been to a show.
I compare myself in every aspect. Every single aspect. I honestly will need to listen to this book several times, because it's a very deep-rooted issue that is going to take work.
The only semi-complaint is that in the audio version she mentions her other books quite a bit. I get it, but it distracts the book at hand.
I compare myself in every aspect. Every single aspect. I honestly will need to listen to this book several times, because it's a very deep-rooted issue that is going to take work.
The only semi-complaint is that in the audio version she mentions her other books quite a bit. I get it, but it distracts the book at hand.
December 14, 2021
I stumbled across Melissa’s book last week and I could not stop reading it. It came into my life at the perfect time. I find this time of the year can be the perfect opportunity for a bit of self sabotage and comparisonitis - everyone’s perfectly posed family photos, end of year accolades and accomplishments.. in the past I would take this opportunity to compare everyone’s highlight reel moments to my chaotic beautiful mess. Melissa has given me the tools to acknowledge and understand where this is coming from and instead of like at it like pie, I’m learning to light that beautiful candle. Thank you Melissa. Xox
January 13, 2023
I am very skeptical of self help books, and usually I have a hard time sticking to a book that becomes all too scientific or not relatable at all - but guess what? THIS BOOK HAS EVERYTHING! Science, relatability and better yet - GUIDES to help you through situations. I gotta say, I have implemented a lot of things from this book, like to get an actual old school alarm clock, to have a timer done for all my social apps, and how to approach talks that could trigger my comparisonitis. if you're in your late twenties like myself, and you feel stuck, and you start to let comporison win over you? PLEASE read this!
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