Raging Elementals

Demonheart #1

by J.J. Egosi

The blood of the betrayed is on his hands...

...or so everyone keeps telling him.

Michael has no memory of the night that cast him into the shadows with cries of 'Murderer'.

On the run with a price on his head, he searches for the truth, for safety, and for his head to stay firmly attached to his neck.

When a would-be conqueror raises the banner of war, will he run? Or will he find the courage to stand and fight?

Demonheart: Raging Elementals is the first in the Demonheart series. Readers will find a journey of self discovery, forbidden love, rivalries of light and darkness, and a powerful witch seeking to bring it all to an end.

186 pages, ebook

Published November 13, 2020

About the author

Hi, and welcome! J.J. Egosi here. I'm a dark fantasy writer with a penchant for crafting tales centered around mythology, a myriad of settings, and demons. I've been told my stories can be a little simplistic and too punchy for most's taste, but if you're looking for a fun and quick read, you've come to the right place :D

Demonheart began with a very bleak and surreal dream from 6 years ago. A man lost his organs and had to scour the medieval world in search of them. All with the help of one friend. After reworking the themes a bit to make them more sensical and less disturbing, the idea for the first book was born. I've been transcribing this series and many other works have been onto the literary canvas ever since.

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Discover even more here: https://www.facebook.com/jegosi17

#Darkfantasy #Demonheart #Magic #witchcraft #DemonsandAngels #Grimdark #LitRPG

Reviews

[Mark Ferguson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Demonheart Book 1: Raging Elementals is an interesting novel of a sub-genre I'm not quite sure I've encountered before, even as a reader of science fiction and fantasy: an exploitation film written as a novel, exploiting the trends of video games. Starting off as a male Cinderella story, our hero Michael is cast out from home and must wander an unfriendly wilderness, though sometimes his company is pleasantly beboobled.

A powerful ressemblance to video games is almost surely to be taken as a feature and not a bug ... but a core problem is that I'm legitimately unsure if this resemblance to video games was intentional or not, as it was played straight and not subverted in any way. When the females get into cheesy dialogue about casually comparing their boobs and score an absolute zero on the Bechdel test (pure exploitation film stuff), I'm not quite sure if it's meant to be over the top and fun or if Egosi is really someone who thinks women talk like that. I'm maybe 90 percent sure. It's on the cusp of tellingly laughable, but never 'dives in' to assure the reader that this is a self-aware, goofy exploitation 'film' that aims for pure entertainment without tension, drama or suspense. About 10 percent of me is thinking 'Oh God, was that meant to be serious?!"

If the resemblance is unintentional, the features become bugs, and the bugs would be serious. The writing is so skeletal and disjointed that it effectively amounts to a condensed transcription of a video game character's journey. Beyond minimalistic, the descriptions of scenery are so terse and rushed as to allow easy confusion, as just one sentence can suddenly introduce new characters, a new environment, or let hours pass by. Locked on the main characters, there is almost zero sense of geography or orientation, or even where people are standing for most scenes. Nearly all scenery is brief flash of generic background - this disinterest in the background was even lampshaded at one point: "He felt as if he was walking by the same trees and the same bushes repeatedly." That's because the video game developer wanted to cut down on the graphics cost, perhaps. Item capacity is indefinitely high long before the Infinity Bag is explained, and generic injuries are in need of generic healing without urgency, as if a health bar indicates that the character's allies still have time and can, for example, make some tea first. Despite the existence of realms, only a few locations are clickable/visitable. Super-convenient NPCs walk past on occasion, talking about the plot to be overheard and inform the eavesdropping main character.

From a plot perspective, this first novel of the series suffers from having a passive main character with no goal, running around a sandbox game and meeting others with goals. Michael is a chew toy being yanked back and forth between two females, and he can 'only watch' for so many critical scenes (his active alter ego is basically another character due to memory loss). The women decide what happens next, dragging a man who acts like a little boy behind them: like many video game women, they fall in love with him because he is the main character.

(I was confused about Julianna not asking why the guy from the Dark Realm looks like a Light Realm dweller and assuming he's a bounty hunter like her when he's clearly not experienced with combat or danger. It reminded me of video game characters with wild customizable appearances, but no one around them comments on Commander Shepard's new afro or clown nose).

Confusing perspective changes are used without dividing text into separate sections for distinct points of view. Most seriously, Michael is so lost in the climactic battle that that battle gets nearly ignored under a heap of explanation from one of his beboobled handlers invoking key terms that would normally be introduced at the beginning of a fantasy story - if this was a video game, text boxes of explanation would be covering the screen until we can only hear the swords clashing and monsters roaring. Action also gets paused for empty smacktalk around the lengthy exposition, with dead pacing.

But I think this book would be fun for some people. It's so many of the familiar elements of the modern fantasy game smashed together in the exploitation film sense, undiluted and getting right to what some people will want, and it might be niche to the point where there were Easter eggs that I couldn't catch.

[Meghan Thompson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved the quick pace and tons of drama !! Can’t wait for the next instalment! I really enjoyed the up an down emotions. That’s my favourite kind.

[Jennifer (bunnyreads) · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this for SPFBO. More about the contest and links at the bottom.


Michael is a Light-lover living in the Dark realm. He is different in appearance to the beings of the dark-realm, being the only one that is white-haired and blue-eyed. Michael was adopted and is treated very badly by his parents who use him as they would a slave. In fact, everyone around him- from his sister to the townsfolks are just downright cruel to him because of his race.

***

This was a bizarre book. This story centers around Michael, Juliana, Isabella. Though we learn a big secret about Michael, the women do most of the pulling/ pushing of him on this journey (while arguing over who gets to have him, and comparing breast-size). Isabella is actually his adopted sister and, in the beginning, she was pretty darned mean to him but there is a reason- as we find out later.

Juliana was the one I liked best, mostly because she had the coolest magic swords and the battles with them were neat. She is a demon and has been sent to kill elementals. Her swords can harness the life force of any spell or creature so, it’s like they’re sealed into her sword (somewhat like a pokeball) and then she can use the power of lightning or whatever she has harnessed.

We also have a big bad in the form of Hecate the witch. She belongs to a group called the Legion of the Morningstar and they’re Dimension Walkers. They seek to collect all seven of the Titans (Each dimension contains a titan). The titans are familiars and she can summon them with her ring (which was also pretty darned cool).

There were some interesting things in the world - Guilds are devoted to specific forms of magic (enchantments, healing, relic transmogrifications etc.) you can’t get a job without knowing magic.
There is an Infinity bag that when a monster is killed the core (the essence of the creature) automatically goes to the bag.

And Hexes and altars can amplify the hex spells.

These things along with the over-powered battles and the bar resets, really gave this a game-lit feel and I was half-expecting there to be a big twist that Michael was trapped in an RPG.

***

This is a short book and I don’t get a chance to say this very often but this needed more. More build on the main body of the story, more build on the characters. It’s very bare-bones with lots of telling- all the important information is told; sometimes mid-battle, and a lot of the content was repetitive filler. The pacing is at a breakneck-speed, couple that with the swings in emotions/choices, or the occasional pov jumping, it could be dizzying at times trying to keep up.

SPFBO score 4.5 or 3 stars

3 stars (4.5-6/10)



Go here to find out more about SPFBO contest and to find links to all the participating bloggers/authors and reviews.
https://mark---lawrence.blogspot.com/...

Phase one is here-
https://mark---lawrence.blogspot.com/...

Team reviews at Fantasy Book Critic
https://fantasybookcritic.blogspot.co...

[Mysty Sinclair · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this book while scrolling through Twitter and I thought to give it a try. I heard that the story was given 3 stars and I had hoped that I would not join them in that rating. I unfortunately have to because the story was a little underdone, the world needs to be built more and the characters only really felt like they were there to serve as an echo chamber to praise the main character. I honestly have a lot to say about the book but I like my Goodreads reviews short. So check out my blog post to see what I had to say about it!

[Yasmin Samuels · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nice read, really kept me engaged. Something different was happening all the time, the plot flowed and surprised. I'm looking forward to the next book and their adventures.

[Alex Bloodfire · Rating 5 out of 5]

A highly addictive storyline packed with great thought-provoking action-adventure and brilliantly thought-out characters.

I thoroughly recommend it!

[B.A. Ellison · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

This quick read had some unique and unexpected concepts that thrust its creative potential upon my trip, but its breakneck pacing gave me some whiplash—when the plot occasionally spiraled into a whirlwind and lost control. Two diametrically opposed kingdoms comprise the setting of the story, but non-descriptive world-building hampers the heroes journey and most casualties he takes along the way. Michael is a destitute orphan living as a cellar dweller for one of the richest jeweler families in the dark realm. His adoptive parents and sister, Isabella, treat him very poorly, and then he gets beat up and kicked out just before the inciting-incident. Later that night, Michael returns for some retribution, only to find that an extensive plot of conspiracy has already embroiled his Cinderella-like childhood home in fire and brought out the most relevant generals/soldiers of the land to watch one of the richest estates in the land burn. Michael quickly unleashes a torrent of unbridled rage.

The inciting incident is about the time that the plot and characters start heaving their baggage and clouded backstories onto the reader. While I enjoyed some of the originality and new concepts brought to the narrative, like Michael's memory problems and the sheer destruction the elementals wrought—ultimately, a significant number of details are glossed over that would have made for a fuller, more developed read. The events of the story really escalate quickly in situations that don't call for them, because of its brusque length. After Michael's exile and consequential evasion afterwards, he starts to have some memory problems and has to deal with the grinding tasks of constantly running away from black bears or becoming a stow away aboard a ship. In a read that is already short and lacks the vivid detail of its longer genre standard-bearers, these trivial trials create unnecessary distractions, except to force Michael into a new locale until he can team up with Julianna.

Raging Elementals has its moments. I think the main characters are a little overpowered during the down-time of the narrative, like before Michael's final revelation when he picks up Julianna on his back—and everything else she has—and runs across realms away from elemental monsters the size of mountains, in the course of a few sentences. However, when the read is firing on all its cylinders it can be a splendid afternoon of imagining the intense battles between angels, demons, witches, and elementals that happen periodically and deliver a rush when the final 60 pages sets its eyes on the end. What kept me from giving Raging: 1 a better score ended up being some of the missing details. Instead of sporadically discussing breast sizes, there could be much more detail given to the jewelry empire and what special effects some of the rings or other pieces might have. When the grandest city in the kingdom is ravaged in the course of several sentences, by the elementals, it just feels empty when the threesome runs away to go fight the "big bad" without remarking too much on the destruction other than it was severe. Where are the casualties? Where are the after-shock events from such destructive conflicts (earthquakes, tidal waves, explosions of Pompeii-proportions)?

During the final fight, when revelations are revealed and several trump-cards of strategy are played in a sequence, Egosi shows understanding and great potential for future works, plus more developed novels. The progression of upping-the-ante does play as a saving grace, anytime plot holes or filler comes into play. Escapism is certainly an aspect of writing books that I connect with, and can be refined with more experience and reflective criticism—so I don't want to detract too much from what enjoyment others have found in Elementals 1. I certainly found some myself. I think Egosi can continue to make some great impressions with his unique concepts, to stand apart from the pack with a little more time, detail, and practice. Each of our own individual writing journeys are different, but hopefully the same in what we seek from them: Discourse. This book is generating that.

[Zandt McCue · Rating 4 out of 5]

Egosi knows the story that he wants to tell.

As someone around the same age with a similar enough background, I felt that I understood where he was going as the different beats of the story took place. I went into this in two modes: Biased and Highly Critical. Of course, I built a friendship with Egosi during my time on Twitter. There's the bias. But I haven't been on Twitter in months and I very rarely use other platforms as well. I still felt as though I was going to start reading this and give a glowy review to support my friend so to balance that I found myself reading with a highly critical mindset.

I like the story. I liked the characters. I liked the world that Egosi developed. I like how well-formed the idea behind everything is. I didn't like how it felt like there was no editor. This is where the breakdown for a lot of people will be. It's noticeable near the beginning which is why I think ultimately Raging Elementals won't get as much recognition as it deserves.

I enjoyed how the book started off but even the opening sequence read a bit rough. For me, the tempo of the narration is...off. And I don't mean the method of going from one scene to another. Pick a page towards the front and read it out loud. It is a globe that I'm dying to turn. Just a tweak. The same goes for some of the dialogue. I'm fine with what is being said. I'm not fine all the time with the way it's worded. There was a sentence I didn't write down because I was reading this in a car but I was going to throw it up here as an example of a sentence I just hate. You'd look at it and wonder why it bothered me so much, and I'd have explained it could have been so much better. The potential is there. The idea is there. It's a silver leg on a golden robot. All of this could have been resolved if the right editor had their hand in the book.

The other fun thing was that I was able to read this book as a book, read this book like a video game, read this book like a tv show, and read this book like a radio drama. Yes, I fucking did it. I know Egosi as a mythology buff. The scale of what he is setting up with the Demonheart series is apparent. I enjoyed that he doesn't go all out and try to over-deliver here. There is a certain caution in keeping it a shorter book that I think adds to what makes it work. It's short enough that I was able to read it in the car while my wife ran into Jo-Anns to buy one item. A couple of hours and I was done. Also, I'm in Florida, so I was crispy.

My recommendation is that I think people should read it, pushing past any flaws or objections that may arise, with an understanding that Egosi seems to have listened to people who have read this book before myself and adapted his future novels accordingly. What a sentence! I would suggest that if you stick with this you'll like the story and characters enough to want to continue to book two and that's very telling. There are plenty of big-name Authors who put out series which are flawless and I don't have any interest in continuing. I'm up to book 4 in Malazan, for example, and instead, I've read eight other books this week. I'm into this enough to go on to book two.

(**Note** I deliberately did not go into detail with the story as every time I started dissecting bit by bit, I continuously came back to the problems having to do with an editor and it wouldn't be fair to dock stars or come off more negative over something I don't believe was warranted)

[Shubham Lakhina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Demonheart: Book 1: Raging Elementals
By – J.J. Egosi
Format – Kindle Edition
Print Length – 192 Pages
Genre – Fiction
My Ratings – 4.7/5

🏷Raging Elementals of J.J. Egosi is Book 1 of the series Demonheart. The book is a fantasy novel, and I hope it should be used as a film script. It really has the influence that keeps its readers indulged in it.

🏷The plot revolves around Michael, our protagonist, who was adopted by one of the richest families in the entire land. Nobody in the village liked Michael, and even his family disliked him and used to treat him like a maid. He claimed that he would be nothing more than an instrument of mockery for all those who had crossed his path.

🏷Now, after a violent accident, Michael was thrown out of his home. Yeah, it was heart breaking, but there was a lot of story in it. All warped, Michael's attitude made a total break. The scene when I knew he had powers, and the poor boy had no recollection of it.

🏷Here was the stage I was fascinated by the plot. Now, Michael is discovering the universe that he had to witness a mystery in his life in order to really believe. We're introduced to Isabelle who's going through a love-hate-love situation.

🏷The climax is one that must not be overlooked, the Demon King has yet to arrive. So, without saying a lot about the storyline, I'd just ask all of you to go and pick up your copy of the book to read this awesome story and get all the answers to your questions.

🏷The title of the novel is relevant to the storyline, but first of all, I assumed that the book cover had to be different from the plot, but after reading a few pages, I realised its meaning. It was a fast-paced tale in plain words.

🏷Characters were beautifully presented and I really enjoyed the character of Michael and Julianna, it was descriptive. The plot is full of feelings, and I've been absolutely hooked. The drama, the feelings, the unexpected elements made it an engaging read.

🏷Overall, I loved my time with the book and found it fascinating to read. After reading the novel, there are a few questions in mind that I hope will be cleared up in the next instalment. So, just looking forward to reading Book 2 of the series, and indeed, the book is highly recommended from my side to anyone out there.

Happy Reading😊

[Darren Boeck · Rating 4 out of 5]

So I picked this book up and read it all in one sitting yesterday. It's relatively short and moves along at a good pace. I wanted something short and it fit the bill. I love the assassin character J.J. Egosi introduces us to in this book. It's a good read giving an interesting look at angels and demons. There were a few minor things that nagged me in the book, but overall an excellent first book by this author. I am looking forward to his next release and I would recommend you read it if you want something different.

[Kelsey Carter · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m rating this book 7 out of 10. I like Michael as a character. I like the fact that they were two female lead in the story as well and neither one of them take anything from anyone. They can both whoop some butt if they need to. He did seem to forgive Isabella pretty fast though. I wonder if that will come back in the future. I think the two ladies that are fighting over him will eventually kill each other. I also liked Heceta the witch. I think that her motivations well well thought out. She wanted to prove herself to the man that she left.

[Lynn DeLong · Rating 5 out of 5]

There was a lot of blood and gore quite early in the book, as Michael takes his revenge. There could also be possible triggers related to domestic violence. The characters seemed very in touch with their inner motivations, and extremely blatant in their conversations. The interactions between the two girls were full of drama. It is a very twisty, turning story with surprises around every corner.

[Ann Birdgenaw · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading Demonheart: Raging Elementals the first in the Demonheart series by J.J. Egosi. It is well written and the author knows his characters. His creativity comes through in the intricate plot lines, fantastical action scenes and love triangle. All the 'raging elementals' are present here; magic, self discovery, forbidden love, rivalries of light and darkness or angels and demons. I am hooked! I can't wait to read book 2! Bravo Mr. Egosi