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过门 - Guomen

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“Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.” -Matthew 7:14

Guomen, 過門/过门, meaning marriage in Chinese. If explained literally, it means going past the gates/door-a reference to the Bible(see above).

“Through the Strait Gates”: to me, it’s the best way to explain it.

The gate’s narrow, the road small for them.

Their past and future interwoven into a tangled, messed up web.

Thirteen years of sour and bittersweet memories. And seven years in between that washed out everything they had like water, leaving only stark, plain, throbbing dullness.

709 pages, Unknown Binding

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About the author

Priest

261 books1,475 followers
Associated Names:
* Priest
* พีต้า (Thai Profile)

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109 (29%)
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63 (17%)
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 92 reviews
Profile Image for Evie.
559 reviews293 followers
May 14, 2025
This book was a stunning example of exactly why I love second chance romances so much when they’re done right. I haven’t read as many contemporary danmei’s and this is my first second chance romance story in danmei, so I was excited to try a new spin on a story dynamic I love, and Priest has done a fabulous job crafting a story with depth and emotional impact that exists in the quiet moments of normal life.

Trying to sum up my thoughts and feelings on this one is surprisingly difficult. On the one hand, this is a relatively straightforward coming of age story about two high school boys trying to navigate their way into adulthood but scratch below the surface and this story explores complex themes of grief, trauma, familial pressure, homophobia, bullying, abuse and neglect. Some of the story lines here genuinely shocked me with the emotional impact they left me sitting with.

This story follows 13 years of the lives of Xu Xulin and Dou Xun, starting from their first meeting at 16, through to their reconnection at 29. Xu Xulin is popular, charming and a bit of a gremlin and initially gets off on the wrong foot with the arrogant and haughty, yet incredibly smart, Dou Xun.

Watching the development of their relationship from dislike to friends to lovers just made so much sense. The character work here was beautiful and both Xu Xulin and Dou Xun were wonderfully flawed and complex characters that felt real and driven by internal motivators. The cast of side characters present here were also rich and contributed to the story beautifully in their own rights.

It’s always difficult with dual timeline second chance romances, because YOU KNOW that pain will be coming and all you can do is brace for it. Unfortunately, it was all too easy to see how the perfect storm brewed between Xu Xulin and Dou Xun… the lack of open communication, unwillingness to listen and compromise, that they were both SO YOUNG yet being forced to assume the pressures of adulthood… despite the love they had for each other it was too easy to see how it fell apart, and my heart broke for them.

Xu Xulin and Dou Xun are devoted to each other throughout the whole book and there are no other significant others present. This was a relatively short danmei (only 70 chapters) and potentially a good entry point for people who are curious to explore the genre.

This is one of those stories that just made me sit and reflect with a heavy feeling in my heart, because sometimes life can just be hard, but that life is full of second chances if you are willing to work for them.
Profile Image for Stacie.
340 reviews36 followers
February 10, 2025
This book put me through it 💔. My heart got shredded and I'm beginning to think I don't really understand the definition of "slice of life" or I just don't have the same definition as others 😬

Characters:
Xu Xulin- peacekeeper, leader, lots of friends, average student, outgoing, protector of his friends
Dou Xun- transfer, doesn’t put up with BS, haughty, doesn’t make friends easily (doesn’t want to either), devoted but also possessive and insecure , smart and ahead of the class

The prologue starts with the Xu Xulin and Dou Xin unexpectedly running into each other as adults for the first time after a breakup roughly ten years earlier. Chapter one immediately flashes back to their meeting as 2nd years in school. The majority of the book is about the progression of their relationship through HS and in to University. I spent most of the time stressing and wondering who hurt who and anticipating when and how the break up happens.


I loved this story from beginning to end. I did occasionally have a hard time with Dou Xin's possessiveness, insecurity and jealousy but really came to understand him and appreciated his character growth by the end. There was a point where I felt like their relationship was too one-sided due to DX's actions- it just didn't feel like XX had the same passion.

Priest continues to amaze me with her ability to write across so many genres. This is my first modern school danmei by her and I was not disappointed. I loved how she addressed the complexity of starting over years after a tough breakup. I was also impressed how she wrote the actual breakup.
Profile Image for Dilushani Jayalath.
1,029 reviews197 followers
May 10, 2021
I rode the Priest-wave and grabbed another of gem of her book. This is one of the first contemporary books of her that I have picked of hers so I really did not know what to expect. Priest's forte is in her story building, her ability to concur up an image that makes us the reader, to get lost in a world she had cooked up for us and feel as if we are going hand in hand with her characters through their tribulations. So I would be lying if I say I was not excited to read this.

I can equally say that I was not disappointed. First of all I want to thank the amazing translators who have done a job so well there are no words to praise them enough. Now let us get to the story. The story will cut you up raw. This is the type of story that makes you wonder if your own neighbor, you own colleague who sits next to you might have gone through it too. There were many times my heart in my throat, thinking that our leads will be put in a position that will crumble that tiny string of sanity they are holding on to. In the end it was the simple passage of time and maturity that one receives from that makes the whole story come to a full circle. There were many moments in the story that makes you stop and think that it might happen to you too.

"Each on their right and proper track in life, they were all stumbling and tripping as they probed tentatively, impatiently sharing their own experiences and confusion with the people around them."

I myself am 25, stumbling through life, no idea where it's taking me. There's no good in sight for me as I watch all around me succeeding. This hit me on a place I did not know existed even. In the end our leads weren't great businessmen, they didn't win noble prizes, they were two individuals living a normal, middle-class life with their grey parrot. Two people who have lost everyone important at the same time found much more important people. No one managed to become successful over time, every single person was just stumbling. They were stumbling, still stumbling and will continue stumbling. For a minute there I felt calm and comforted. Maybe I might not succeed. Maybe I do not have the drive to do it but the important thing is to be happy with what you do. That is Dou Xun and Xu Xillin taught us. We do not have to care about what others think, in the end does that actually matter? In the end we are all alone in this world, stuck in the prison of our own minds.
Profile Image for Alo.
31 reviews
December 23, 2023
I LOVED IT SO MUCH !!!!

The characters have left a strong impression on me, and the realism with which the situations were handled was excellent !!

I love stories like this, and it was a very quick and enjoyable read!! I did cry a lot and my heart broke in several chapters, but the ending was so sweet that it made me smile a lot!!! T-T

I just finished the story and I miss them so much already. Definitely one of my favourite novels, and I'm so glad I gave it a chance!
Profile Image for Jie.
43 reviews
November 16, 2023
Brilliantly written bit of slice of life featuring teenage boys in the spring of their youth, grappling with growing pains, identity, and the transient nature of life. This is a novel I couldn't stop thinking about long after I finished. There's a quiet bleakness to it that crept up on me and wrenched my heart in the most painful of ways.

A lot of themes to unpack but ultimately it's about how sometimes, no matter how much you want something or how hard you try, the way forward is simply not straight. Sometimes you are bound by fate, other times you're limited by your own mind.

Through the trials of life, MC finds the courage to be free from society while ML learns to compromise and be a part of it, and they eventually find their way back to each other.

Some of the pop references (such as Jay Chou's old hit) brought about a nostalgia factor that really hit home for me.

For a novel that felt quite painful and quite real, the only bit of criticism I have is that Dou Xun's possessiveness and derision is over the top and takes away from that realism, but thankfully he becomes self-aware and much more normal by the end.

Lastly, kudos to the translator. The translation was a pleasure to read.
Profile Image for vin.
10 reviews2 followers
November 15, 2023
Actually i would give it a 4.5. It's a really good novel and i love how certain matters were dealt in this novel. The characters felt so human to me. As in I love how their flawed characteristics were portrayed so realistically. You will get annoyed at them at certain points but you will understand this is life and they have to slowly work through it. It's so beautifully written. Even though i haven't formed any strong emotional bond with the characters i still love them and felt so proud of them slowly working through their relationship and everything.
Profile Image for V.ya.
433 reviews34 followers
September 2, 2024
I like that this book depicts so much realism, and none of the characters are OP. They really struggle, fail and bleed. Unfortunately, it’s told in quite a boring narrative sometimes, and none of these characters are particularly endearing to me.

There's also the relationship issue. We have Xu Xilin, who’s trying to carry the whole world on his shoulders, and Dou Xun, who has a lot of insecurities because of his past. Add in the mix the lack of communication between the two, and we’ve got a recipe for a disaster--which happens in the earlier part of their relation.

However, in the second part, they suddenly have a successful relationship. Without going into details, I think they only resolve one of the issues, and the rest of the success seems to be chalked up to their regrets and maturity. It's quite unbelievable to me.

All in all, not too bad, but I'd expected more.
Profile Image for Ari.
344 reviews242 followers
December 16, 2020
4.5 break my heart why you stars

It doesn't happen always, that I go into a book prepared for my heart to be mercilessly brutalized, but this is my 4th Priest novel, and by now I already know regardless of how well or not well it is translated, I will end up crying only to laugh in the very next page. Some magic carries over from that large wall of language barrier.

Priest makes me want to learn Mandarin so that I can read the book as she wrote it.

Full review to come.
Profile Image for ane.
182 reviews16 followers
Read
September 27, 2020
So many mixed feelings.

At the outset, I feel the apologetic need to declare that I don't know Chinese because despite the fan translator's very best efforts (for which I'll always be grateful for) to append all the explicit word plays and literary references, I have the nagging feeling there's also a lot of implicit ones which would have seasoned this book closer to my preferred taste.

I use cooking imagery in this review because this book was whisked in it - something I'm very fond of.

If you pry away the layers, the core of the onion in the story is the typical id vs ego conflict. The participants alternate between the MC and ML, both within and between themselves. But Priest does a thorough job of exploring it. I haven't read (yet) another book of Priest's which focuses exclusively on the main cp so I was initially taken aback with the one track approach here. I had hoped it would end up in a place which needed a lot of unpacking, but the conflict itself was resolved easier than I liked (lol)

My main issue with the book was in the layers of the onion itself. Book One was fun and it set the mood really well. Personally too, I was in a place where I wanted light, fluffy reading so it was perfect for me. But Book Two disrupted that soothing cadence with a series of unfortunate events that erupted dramatically in the end - so dramatic that I laughed instead of crying. But I guess that's an inherent pitfall of contemporary romance (although I still feel like this book went to ridiculous lengths in that respect). One aspect I like about Priest is that she pokes fun at her own book in the text through timely lampshading so its easier for me to laugh it off rather than hold it against the book. Because then again, writing stories centered around modern society, with all its prejudices and evils intact, is harder than writing fantasy, in my eyes.

Yet I still was disappointed in the resolution of the conflicts. There was a host of characters in the beginning - who themselves framed part of the problem - so the time skip alleviating the number to a non-threatening degree was a huge let down. Cai Jing is another sore point for me - other than to fill a role in the society presented in Guomen's worldview, whatever happened to him is ridiculous in proportion. I strongly suspect that the reason why I'm nitpicking in this vein is because I've read enough of lgbt Asian stories to compare and contrast. And to expect more from Priest XD

If you leave the assured beauty of her writing aside, the additive style of it instead of the usual subtractive one, and the lackluster plot was very hard for me to reconcile with. At times, the omniscient narrator became another character in the story to further expound on the impact of a scene and I wanted to gag it. Other times, the MC or the ML would find it still insufficient and resort to long internal monologues. It was cute at first, then I tired of it.

But Xu Xilin and Dou Xun made it all bearable. Reading about them was like unwinding while watching a tea bag steeping in hot water. When it started to get too strong from being oversteeped, there was always something to pull it out. Even with the borderline cheesiness, I think this book will be a comfort read.

I also want to put in a word about the cleverness of using "strait gate" as the overarching theme. Aside from its obvious intention, the ironic usage of a biblical phrase to show how narrow the path really can be for gay kids - whose very existence is either condemned or denied by the Church - was highly appreciated :')
Profile Image for Zita  Azlina.
235 reviews20 followers
September 5, 2021
Reading it for two days. A literal fucking god-tier. Best character development i ever found in a book. Especially romance books. The plot, the side characters, the issues brought up and the problems regarding it are all taken thorough seriously. A masterpiece, a fucking masterpiece. Best. Best. Best literal best books.

Most page turning book i ever read, and enchanted. I highlighted a lot of quotes it fitted an entire library. Seriously, this book is AMAZING.

Anyway besides the realistic potrayal and the issues surrounding it, the character development are very good and we could empatized with the characters easily. Besides, their relationship are flowing in a make-sense way, so it has a lot of touch of reality in it; easier to follow, to relate.

And yes, all the university bs and gaokao preparation bs, along with how students interacted with each other is also not fairyt-tale-esque and making me reminisced of a year ago when i, too, prepared for my "gaokao"

BEST ROMANCE BOOKS, it ain't boring it all
Well-fitted, enough humours, well-fitted angst and conflicts, well-fitted resolve on issues and its cause and effects.

Priest, you are the BEST AUTHOR.
Profile Image for reni.
260 reviews19 followers
April 7, 2022
reread 07/04/22: this book is still perfect, but i'm definitely suing priest for the emotional damage she caused by writing it.

also, i respect priest's ability to write a breakup in a way that despite wanting them to be together, you actually agree that their relationship at that time is not healthy and it's better for everyone involved if they take some time apart and go their separate ways (the way it happened will NEVER not hurt me though)

(i don't consider this a spoiler, the whole book's premise is literally exes to lovers)

(also, xu jin is such a perfect parent that priest just had to write two of the shittiest parents for dou xun to keep the balance lmao)

------------------

priest could write a phone book and i would probably give it 5 stars

and she would deserve it
Profile Image for glau.
150 reviews10 followers
October 25, 2024
!favoritado!

Não sei quem foi que frustrou tanto a Priest em 2015 ao ponto dela escrever essa PEDRADA, mas tenho muito a agradecer.

Não vou mentir, a última vez que chorei tanto lendo uma história esse ano foi com Brother e Saye. A Priest pesou mesmo a mão no angst nessa história.

Diferente dos outros trabalhos dela, mesmo os mais normais, nenhuma das outras obras dela é tão cruelmente realista. Óbvio, várias delas abordam problemas sociais e emocionais importantes, mas todas possuem um pontinho meio fantasioso. Mas Guomen? Guomen é o suco de uma realidade difícil e muito dolorosa de engolir.

Muitos momentos emocionantes, muitos momentos tristes e muitos momentos felizes. É a história de dois garotos que, ao longo de 13 anos, vão amadurecendo, se descobrindo, se superando e se aceitando.

O desenvolvimento do Dou Xun e do Xu Xilin é de cair o queixo.

Não tenho muito o que dizer, apenas que está é uma das melhores histórias que já li na vida.
Profile Image for rain.
740 reviews433 followers
Read
December 23, 2021
i love me a good hate-at-first-sight-to-lovers-to-exes-to-lovers-again story 😌

this is my first priest novel and now i can see why they are a beloved author to many. the slow buildup of the conflict in guomen was both excruciating and oddly satisfying. the characters going from stressed academics to adults struggling with their career prospects hit me so hard i wanted to set myself on fire. i related so much to duo xun's realization that academic achievements hardly mean anything when confronted by struggles outside the confines of academia.

aside from projecting my stressed uni student self onto these characters, i was also thoroughly destroyed by the romance. the progression of the protagonists' relationship was written so well and it was satisfying to see them grow up and eventually embrace their identities.

overall, i really liked this novel. i just have a bone to pick with priest for writing a "i will hire lots of filipino maids" throwaway line because i hate that stereotype so much 😭

➸ buddy read with dija!!
Profile Image for Elle.
11 reviews1 follower
November 28, 2021
"You can't stop me from loving someone. Not unless you kill me....If you kill me, it'll just change to past tense--I loved him when I was alive."

I am in love with this book. This is probably my most favorite modern danmei. Perhaps because I could relate to both Xu Xilin and Dou Xun in a way. To Xu Xilin because it's easy to extend your hands to someone when you have the privilege, but when you're starting to face your own problems and see the world in bird's-eye-view, that's when you'll realize that life is not a dream, that you have to make sacrifices that sometimes make you look bad, especially in the eyes of your loved one.

Dou Xun, I don't even know how to start describing this boy. I swear, he's just full of passion, and you can clearly see the damage his childhood has brought to him. Dou Xun will always have my heart.

There are so many quotable quotes in this novel that just hit close to home. I just didn't like that one racist remark Xu Xilin made about Filipinos.

All in all, I would recommend this book.
Profile Image for ⋆ ࣪˖ ִֶָ   sel  ་༘࿐.
954 reviews22 followers
August 6, 2022
This is beautiful. It wasn't the kind of book that is spectacular or something, but it sure is something, and it's beautiful. Life can bring so much to someone's life. Guomen brought so much to me. While reading the book, it felt like I'm reading something so intimate because I feel like reading something so personal. It feels so real. Reading Guomen feels like I'm also inside of it. It's painful and it's good.

There are many factors that can affect one's way of living. It may came abruptly, but some are constantly living with those factors trying to straighten the rough edges. That's how life is. This is such a great read. There are many lessons between lines, and it's so satisfying when they get to meet or try to meet ends on their ways. In life, some may be just getting married, some may already have a bunch of kids, some may just found what they want to do in life, and etcetera, because all people have their own paths. And it's never too late or too early to start, build, mend, or try things.

Thank you so much, Pipi. Another great work.
Profile Image for Rakshita Ramakrishnan.
19 reviews
October 8, 2020
This book deserves more recognition. As a person who finds the genre romance the most comfortable,it did not disappoint.
I cried.
At first I cried for the depth of feelings. Then for the inability of the main characters to express it,then for the deaths,for the longing,for the understanding. It was a rollercoaster and I enjoyed every bit of it.
There are so many things I FELT but I have no way of expressing it. This is how I felt- like something applying pressure on my heart. Gently at first and then gradually more insisting,till I wanted to hug myself to hold the broken parts together.
On finishing,I remember this feeling clearly and the names of all the characters vaguely. All I wanted was to finish it and end my angst.
I think the plot turned out beautifully and I want to give a round of applause to the author and the translator.
Profile Image for noorii.
218 reviews8 followers
July 2, 2024
I was deceived by the book cover ok! I don’t know why I thought this book was slice of life / historical and avoided it left and right 😭!!
I felt attached to the main characters I loved them so much. It was a bittersweet read.
If you liked wait for me after school / a certain someone then you might also like this book.
This was another amazing Priest book.
Profile Image for Julieta.
22 reviews1 follower
August 23, 2024
I read the English translation online. And the translation with all the footnotes flowed so beautifully. Especially the poems:

All his life, he had known not what it meant to yearn,
Newly, he learned to yearn,
Thence, ceaselessly, he yearned.

Profile Image for annie.
134 reviews7 followers
June 7, 2021
"Deep inside, he knew that he couldn't bear to have him and also couldn't bear to let him go."

one day, while i read this novel, i decided i needed a word to describe it. i had to look for it for a while, honestly. i felt like it made me want to stop and scream, and at the time time i couldn't stop reading it. there was something about it that just made it different. finally, i figured it out: raw. that's what this novel is. extremely, frustratingly, incredibly raw.
from the very beginning, we understand we're in for a sad ride. it's worth it, though. every second of it. every single detail was amazingly written.
i think one of the points that makes it even sadder is how real everything seems, how very-likely-to-happen-in-real-life, and how frustrating that, if you were to stop and think about it, you'd find reasoning in everything the two main characters were doing. and, woah. aren't they excellent characters. i love xu xilin, i love his ambitions and his amazing coming-to-terms-with-himself journey, but i love dou xun even more. i love his development, i love his personality, i love just everything about him. together, i love them even more.
i have to thank iara for telling me to read this novel. i can't believe i've already finished it. man, i'm gonna miss them. so much.
Profile Image for iara ♡.
82 reviews2 followers
February 11, 2021
★ 4,5

tive altos e baixos com esse livro, mas no final o bem felizmente prevaleceu. no “começo” a relação deles me incomodava porque eu não sentia que era um relacionamento? nem sei quando que eles começaram a namorar, só percebi que estavam namorando e não se pegando quando um deles comentou sobre o relacionamento, achei meio mal trabalhado isso.

mas priest é priest né, essa mulher sempre faz tudo, até quando eu achava que não tava gostando ela gritava na minha cara que eu tava sim pq não conseguia parar de ler.

de todos os danmei que eu já li esse foi um dos mais emocionantes porque os outros eu geralmente crio um mundo fictício onde os personagens vivem, mas esse é muito REAL, os acontecimentos são muito realistas, consequentemente te atingem mais, na moral? devastada, porém feliz.

dou xun te amo não esquecerei de vc
Profile Image for serap.
8 reviews
April 28, 2024
"Love is not about grades, it's not a career, and it's not something that will definitely bear fruit as long as you force yourself and put a lot of work into it. It is the result of the mutual interaction between two people."


i started reading this because a friend of mine loved it. and this became the first ever danmei i read until the end, without skipping a page.
it took me a while to finish due to how busy i was with life in general, but when i read that one last chapter... oh my god. i've never felt so content, idllyic, pleasant, satisfied, and all the words you can think of that makes you feel like that. i still can't shake the feeling. it was truly an experience.

it's been a little more than two years now, but i still feel the impact of this book on me; on my personality and on my preferences even (lol).

i'm planning to write a detailed review some time, so this one should stay here until i finally bring myself to re-read this.
Profile Image for polyana.
79 reviews7 followers
February 4, 2021
this book is EVERYTHING. i feel like i can't put it into words all the things that it makes you feel. it's raw, and emotional, and the characters are so lovable! it's like watching a coming of age, but so much better. at this point i already know whatever comes from priest is a piece of art, but this one is really close to my heart now. if you're wondering if you should give it a chance, do it! i promise it's worth it. it's one of my favorite books (ever) now.
Profile Image for Isabel.
297 reviews32 followers
September 25, 2020
i stained my pillowcase with tears and makeup reading this and i don't regret it one bit.
Profile Image for youj.
201 reviews
November 28, 2022
read this a few months ago, lots of angst. 4.5
Profile Image for Xantababy.
250 reviews30 followers
December 8, 2022
I didn’t expect this to be an enemies-to-lovers troupe. I thought there would be glittering stars when they first met and all that fluff before the angst; so this kind of took me by surprise. I like Dou Xun and may have been biased while reading. Hehe.

In my opinion, the novel’s theme focuses more on “reality”. The events that happened in the novel, the hardships they endured and the setbacks they encountered are very realistic. It made the angst hard to swallow but thankfully the author didn’t leave her readers bleeding.

The author’s use of words are witty. It has been a long time since I last read her works and forgot how interesting her choice of words are. I even found the book titles funny. Haha. She included a lot of life quotes in the novel and I like that as well. However, there was a part where the mc joked about hiring “Filipino maids” and that really put me off.

Honestly though, this would have been better if there are smut. Don’t get me wrong. I go for the story and plot when reading a novel, not smut. But there are some novels that are just better with smut, like Guomen for example. It lacks an emotional connection to the reader that makes it hard for the reader to be on the ml or mc’s shoes. It is like there is a barrier that keeps the readers away as a third person and nothing more. So for me, it kind of felt like it lacks something.

Overall, I enjoyed reading Guomen. The angst build up as you read on, making the readers feel more and more powerless, and the heart would feel heavier and heavier. However, it wasn’t as bad as I expected because the humorous conversations and scene healed most of it. I laughed out loud so many times; or maybe my funny bone is just quite sensitive. Hahaha.
Profile Image for ilaydai.
7 reviews
May 31, 2024
Such a real and raw story, displaying fear, loss, immaturity, hardship, companionship, and most importantly love. Reading the entirety, but especially book 2, was very painful to me, but not because the writing was flawed. It was because the concerns of each side were so painfully real that I couldn't come up with any counter arguments or ideas, and had to accept everything as they are when it was only downhill.

This is my second priest book after Mo Du, and I need to preach them for their storywriting skills. Although I find myself challenged by the transitions between scenes, more often that I would like to admit, I always end up being impressed. Hoping that this book also gets an adaptation that makes the story justice.

And most importantly, from queer people, a toast to freedom and health.
118 reviews9 followers
December 20, 2022
Ame, wow que bonita historia, quede flechada en el primer capitulo y no pude para, la escritura de priest es mi adiccion, amo la imperfección de sus personajes ylas dinamicas de relacion que crea
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