Holy Vulnerability: Spiritual Practices for the Broken, Ashamed, Anxious, and Afraid

by Kellye Fabian

Life can seemingly be fine on the surface. But for any of us who scratch that surface, we recognize anxiety, shame, disappointment, and regret. And yet, in the depths of these feelings, in the things we hate about ourselves, others, and this world, we can invite God’s presence. This is the essence of holy vulnerability. To enter into holy vulnerability is to intentionally expose our raw wounds so that God can heal and mend and transform us. What happens when we refuse this depth of healing? Something that author Kellye Fabian calls “unholy leakage”—that thing that happens when we are afraid, ashamed, or anxious, and instead of facing the reality of what we’re experiencing, we just spill it on everyone around us. Where is anxiety occupying our hearts and minds? Where is fear hindering our relationships and limiting our faith and joy? Where is shame causing us to question our self-worth? Is there another way? Yes. Holy Vulnerability unpacks six atypical, unexpected spiritual practices intended to open us to God’s healing and transformation. Through practices like laughter, community, and tangible engagement with creation, Kellye guides us to notice where brokenness is breaking into our lives. And as we intentionally seek God in the midst of these practices—as we step out in holy vulnerability—God will meet us there.

Genres: Christian Living, Nonfiction

224 pages, Paperback

Published July 6, 2021

Reviews

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book for someone dealing with panic, anxiety, and/or shame. The first half was excellent and almost felt like actual counseling. It also paid special attention to how anxiety and fear affects our physical bodies, which is often overlooked (and is something I deal with personally.) There are some great mindfulness exercises regarding our bodies and fear/brokenness. The second half of the book was good too, with many practical applications for what was being taught.

[Beauty in the Binding · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 Stars. Some of the material was helpful, and some of it wasn’t.

[Richard Propes · Rating 4 out of 5]

With "Holy Vulnerability: Spiritual Practices for the Broken, Ashamed, Anxious, and Afraid," Willow Creek Community Church Pastor of Biblical Oversight & Support Kellye Fabian journeys into the depth of the human experience to call us into a deeper and holy vulnerability with a God ready to heal our wounds, brokenness, shame, fears, and traumas.

Intentionally choosing to expose these things to God is at the heart of "Holy Vulnerability," Fabian's latest work that has, I must say, my favorite book cover of 2021 by far. I mean, seriously, look at it. Just amazing.

Okay, I detoured for a minute. Have you seen my book? I obviously like photos of hands.

Okay, back to "Holy Vulnerability."

If there's one thing, I suppose, that keeps "Holy Vulnerability" from obtaining my elusive five-star rating it's an issue that Fabian acknowledges early in her book. "Holy Vulnerability" isn't necessarily for those with deeply traumatic experiences or medical concerns that require interventions above and beyond from medical doctors, counselors, therapists, etc. "Holy Vulnerability" is targeted more at the everyday experiences of brokenness, shame, depression, and fear that are often written about by folks like Brene' Brown. To her credit, Fabian affirms these interventions, but is careful, and as a former lawyer I would expect this from her, to acknowledge that "Holy Vulnerability" is not intended as therapy or counsel or medical advice.

It's a spiritual companion.

Not that I needed medical advice. I have doctors for that. However, as someone whose entire life has been centered around vulnerability as a lifelong paraplegic, a double amputee, a survivor of sexual violence, and someone who has experienced multiple other significant traumas including the suicide of my wife and death of my child, much of "Holy Vulnerability" felt, in fact, incredibly basic to me. It was knowledge I largely knew, yet it was also comfort I deeply appreciated and it felt like both a literary and personal companion I was anxious to know.

So, while I may not have had a 5-star experience with the book I did, in fact, deeply appreciate the weaving of Scripture into daily life and the very tangible practices and relatable ways Fabian brought life to this material. I did feel, at times, that Fabian's language toward disability, which was only discussed briefly, leaned toward the ableist. As an adult with a disability who's also been in pastoral roles I've always struggled with the church's ableist attitudes and inherent limiting of disability. As someone who has long studied a theology of disability, I have zero doubt that Christ's embrace of disability is much more of a positive, embracing experience than is expressed here and quite often from Christian writers.

That's really a minor concern in a deeply compassionate and intelligently written discussion on holy vulnerability. The book's real meat and potatoes (I actually really hate that phrase, but I'll use it anyway) comes from the actual spiritual practices Fabian puts forth to invite us into holy vulnerability. We're talking about accessible practices, and rather unique ones, like common prayer (my favorite chapter), laughter (my 2nd favorite chapter), tangible engagement with creation, and others. Fabian provides us with a solid scriptural foundation for embracing holy vulnerability, then she provides us tangible steps, reflections, and practices to help us get there. For a woman who is both law school and seminary trained, Fabian makes this material remarkably accessible to the everyday Christian for whom Christian lingo can be a bit much.

I really loved "Holy Vulnerability" despite the fact that much of it felt at least somewhat familiar to me. I particularly embraced the actual spiritual practices, essentially the second half of the book, and really, really loved Fabian's accessible and approachable ways of making this material less intimidating and friendly for Christians across the theological and life experience spectrum.

[G. Salter · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's been said many times that American Christianity (at least since the fundamentalist movement of the 1920s) doesn't pay enough attention to the body. It's common to get the sense that the point of being a Christian is to get saved, not do too much bad in life and reach the point where we can finally jump out of this body shell into heaven. Fabian points out that the Bible doesn't hold this spirit vs matter view of bodies, in fact it views the body and spirit as things that should work together in a holistic whole, even if it's a perpetual and imperfect process. She carefully helps readers see how this (and the understanding that we are not close to God until we are okay with being vulnerable) opens us up in surprising ways to new growth.

[Reyna]

Yes, I found this book vulnerable and the author shared interesting and practical things you can implement to grow in this area. You may find helpful ways to open up and grow in vulnerability. I perceived this was not an easy task for the author and I admire the enormous effort that it took to write this. What I didn´t expect was so many references and quotations to Brené Brown, I´d rather read something more personal or researched by someone than read something inspired by another author´s work, it´s just my personal preference. When that happens, I would prefer to read all the material someone quotes than her actual books. I admire the author´s efforts to open up and help others, being brave enough to be vulnerable. It is a small and easy book to go through and reflect.

[Darcy · Rating 4 out of 5]

The opening half of the book is a deeply profound reflection of our brokenness, and how these areas in our lives are precisely those which open us to God … if we allow. The latter half presents a set of somewhat unexpected and undervalued practices that, in their simple humanity, actually do soften the barriers we put up—even to God. The link between the body and the spirit is the main takeaway for me: if my brokenness is revealed in my body, it indeed makes sense that my recovery and journey to wholeness involves that same body. As Fabian explains, this is why we are called to make our bodies a living sacrifice (Rom 12).

[Jason Frasca · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very powerful read focusing on ways to deepen and strengthen a relationship with Jesus. My favorite aspect is how the author shares her own vulnerabilities and challenges, with lessons learned and recommendations to try. I believe by humbly sharing these stories, the reader quickly instantly connects with her and is drawn more into the read.

I give the author great props for being willing to put herself out there (with God's guidance of course), and sharing such personal stories. Please add this to your reading list!

[Leslie Konhaeuser · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a refreshing guide to some out of the box spiritual practices that absolutely can open our bodies, minds, and spirits to the healing available in the gospel. At times her examples were difficult to relate to, but her sharing really helped to give practicality to the ideas expressed. Definitely recommend!

[Hailee Goodwin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book to read with someone else or by yourself. There were some very unique perspectives and ideas for how to combat fear/anxiety/worry/shame. It is definitely something that can help you in your walk, but the focus doesn’t always seem to be on Jesus or the gospel.