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Being Lolita: A Memoir
NYU MFA candidate and Goldwater Fellow Alisson Wood's BEING LOLITA, a memoir of the author's two-year relationship with her high school English teacher who seduced her by teaching her Lolita, a story he had her believe was the greatest love story of our time, which she only later learned was anything but, and how revisiting Nabokov's masterpiece allowed her to grapple with what it means to have been an unreliable narrator of her own life, exploring our shifting views of consent, male dominance, and self-perception, to Sarah Murphy at Flatiron Books.
290 pages, Paperback
First published August 4, 2020
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,330 reviews
August 28, 2020
This book was written by a friend, and former classmate. I am so proud of her to finally be able to tell her story. This book is well written, but difficult and sickening to read. It was bittersweet to be brought back to my senior year, and difficult to hear proof of what I knew was happening all along.
I was in that play with Alison, and I knew what was happening between her and "Mr. North." The energy was undeniable and the level of discomfort was palpable. In short, "Mr.North" was always a creep around girls. I expressed concern about him and the relationship, but was essentially told, "I'm sure it's nothing."
This book is a product of this "nothing."
This "nothing," affected Alison's life while the teacher, Mr. Nick North (Michael Morello in real life), lives a burden free life.
This "nothing" was allowed to happen within the halls of my high school. This "nothing" had multiple victims. These atrocities were allowed to continue by the staff at Bunnell High School, where these events actually took place.
I am angered and disgusted for Alison, but I hope this book gives her some kind of fucked up closure. She is brave and as badass as they come.
I was in that play with Alison, and I knew what was happening between her and "Mr. North." The energy was undeniable and the level of discomfort was palpable. In short, "Mr.North" was always a creep around girls. I expressed concern about him and the relationship, but was essentially told, "I'm sure it's nothing."
This book is a product of this "nothing."
This "nothing," affected Alison's life while the teacher, Mr. Nick North (Michael Morello in real life), lives a burden free life.
This "nothing" was allowed to happen within the halls of my high school. This "nothing" had multiple victims. These atrocities were allowed to continue by the staff at Bunnell High School, where these events actually took place.
I am angered and disgusted for Alison, but I hope this book gives her some kind of fucked up closure. She is brave and as badass as they come.
August 16, 2020
3.5 rounded up to 4 Stars
I was intrigued when I first saw this because I had admired the book My Dark Vanessa about the same topic in recent months. There were so many similarities it was uncanny, but this is an actual memoir. Ironically enough, I enjoyed the fictionalized My Dark Vanessa a tad more.
Alisson Woods is a teenager who has suffered with depression, manifesting in cutting and a suicide attempt. After successful psychological treatment she returns to high school, only to get lured into a romantic relationship with her English teacher, Mr. North. He is obsessed with the famous book Lolita, reading it to her on surreptitious night outings to a diner, and gifting her with his notated copy. They write notes to each other which must be destroyed in water or ripped into tiny pieces. He writes a number on the chalkboard and quickly erases it during class- a crafty mode of communication for the time Allie should meet up with him at the diner.
As mutually agreed, nothing physical occurs until Allie graduates, but the idealized version of their illicit union falls far short of her dreams. In fact, some of it reads like a nightmare. I found the character of Nick, aka Mr. North disturbing, and their relationship is obviously damaging on several levels. Once Allie goes to college she's exposed to people more her age, but spends far too much time in her dorm room waiting for her phone to ring. It's a refreshing and hopeful development when Allie tries dating a couple of fellow students at college and hanging out with girlfriends. Still, the spector of Mr. North has left an indelible mark. It takes time for Allie to come to terms with the reality of their relationship, whether it was truly love or an act of abuse. At college, under the tutelage of a gifted female teacher, Allie has an epiphany about her sordid secret. When her writing class analyzes and discusses the Lolita book, it is a revelation to her. She later uses the book as an annual final course read when she becomes a creative writing teacher. Her senses are also heightened for the well-being and safety of her students, looking back on how she was victimized. When she was 17 she thought she was so strong and sexy, but now realizes how vulnerable she really was.
This was a good read, but it harped just a little too much on the book Lolita. I've never read it, so these passages did not speak to me, and became a bit monotonous. So, I've read two eerily similar books in a short amount of time, and apparently there is a sickening formula to this kind of inappropriate seduction of a minor student.
Thank you to the publisher Flatiron Books who provided an advance reader copy via NetGalley.
I was intrigued when I first saw this because I had admired the book My Dark Vanessa about the same topic in recent months. There were so many similarities it was uncanny, but this is an actual memoir. Ironically enough, I enjoyed the fictionalized My Dark Vanessa a tad more.
Alisson Woods is a teenager who has suffered with depression, manifesting in cutting and a suicide attempt. After successful psychological treatment she returns to high school, only to get lured into a romantic relationship with her English teacher, Mr. North. He is obsessed with the famous book Lolita, reading it to her on surreptitious night outings to a diner, and gifting her with his notated copy. They write notes to each other which must be destroyed in water or ripped into tiny pieces. He writes a number on the chalkboard and quickly erases it during class- a crafty mode of communication for the time Allie should meet up with him at the diner.
As mutually agreed, nothing physical occurs until Allie graduates, but the idealized version of their illicit union falls far short of her dreams. In fact, some of it reads like a nightmare. I found the character of Nick, aka Mr. North disturbing, and their relationship is obviously damaging on several levels. Once Allie goes to college she's exposed to people more her age, but spends far too much time in her dorm room waiting for her phone to ring. It's a refreshing and hopeful development when Allie tries dating a couple of fellow students at college and hanging out with girlfriends. Still, the spector of Mr. North has left an indelible mark. It takes time for Allie to come to terms with the reality of their relationship, whether it was truly love or an act of abuse. At college, under the tutelage of a gifted female teacher, Allie has an epiphany about her sordid secret. When her writing class analyzes and discusses the Lolita book, it is a revelation to her. She later uses the book as an annual final course read when she becomes a creative writing teacher. Her senses are also heightened for the well-being and safety of her students, looking back on how she was victimized. When she was 17 she thought she was so strong and sexy, but now realizes how vulnerable she really was.
This was a good read, but it harped just a little too much on the book Lolita. I've never read it, so these passages did not speak to me, and became a bit monotonous. So, I've read two eerily similar books in a short amount of time, and apparently there is a sickening formula to this kind of inappropriate seduction of a minor student.
Thank you to the publisher Flatiron Books who provided an advance reader copy via NetGalley.
October 19, 2022
i lost count of how many times i said "what the fuck" out loud. check trigger warnings if you want to read. 4.5
June 12, 2020
More TK closer to publication on Wood's excellent memoir - she has a knack here for unraveling difficult truths w poetic, literary writing. The story of a high school senior being seduced by her teacher is often harrowing, a page-turner, which makes the story's uncanny parallels w/ Nabokov's work all the more absorbable.
May 20, 2022
"That moment in my body when the teacher put his hand on my knee to comfort me was the understanding of all of that - that in order to be attractive, irresistible, to be worthy of notice, was to be both beautiful and in open need, to be damaged"
absolutely devastating, i feel sick to my stomach
absolutely devastating, i feel sick to my stomach
August 10, 2020
I’m not much one for trigger warnings, but if you need one for this book, it’s right there in the title. The author writes a heartbreaking, beautiful and reflective story about being preyed on by her high school English teacher, and believing it was love. Her story is not uncommon and most women will be able to see some small bit of their own experience in it. Though she later learns her experience itself was sadly not “special,” she has made it into an incredibly special book.
The book describes 17-year-old Alisson’s seduction by her 26-year-old teacher within the framework of Nabakov’s “Lolita.” As we all know, and as this book explores, the very word “Lolita” has become synonymous with a child seductress who holds all the cards, rendering men powerless by her (young, illegal) sexuality. This is how her predator painted her throughout. It was only later in life when she realized her experience of the story was her own and did not follow his unreliable narration.
Here, in the course of reflecting on what happened to her, Wood also does a great textual analysis of the original Lolita as written by Nabakov. After reading this book I felt like I had experienced moments of enlightenment both about my own childhood, and about the book Lolita. I have to really hand it to Wood for laying her most painful moments so bare in this memoir. It’s the kind of book that is going to help other people. But it brings its deeper message and analysis through what is also a beautiful and completely addictive, page-turning reading experience.
At times crushingly hard to read and at other times beautiful (not unlike the original text), this is an exceptional memoir. The ending, and particularly the part about butterflies (you’ll know it when you get there), was perfect.
Thanks to NetGalley, Flatiron Books and Alisson Wood for the advance copy of this excellent memoir. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
The book describes 17-year-old Alisson’s seduction by her 26-year-old teacher within the framework of Nabakov’s “Lolita.” As we all know, and as this book explores, the very word “Lolita” has become synonymous with a child seductress who holds all the cards, rendering men powerless by her (young, illegal) sexuality. This is how her predator painted her throughout. It was only later in life when she realized her experience of the story was her own and did not follow his unreliable narration.
Here, in the course of reflecting on what happened to her, Wood also does a great textual analysis of the original Lolita as written by Nabakov. After reading this book I felt like I had experienced moments of enlightenment both about my own childhood, and about the book Lolita. I have to really hand it to Wood for laying her most painful moments so bare in this memoir. It’s the kind of book that is going to help other people. But it brings its deeper message and analysis through what is also a beautiful and completely addictive, page-turning reading experience.
At times crushingly hard to read and at other times beautiful (not unlike the original text), this is an exceptional memoir. The ending, and particularly the part about butterflies (you’ll know it when you get there), was perfect.
Thanks to NetGalley, Flatiron Books and Alisson Wood for the advance copy of this excellent memoir. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
July 22, 2021
*Many thanks to Flatiron Books, NetGalley, and Alisson Wood for an ARC of this book! Now available as of 8.4!*
Raw, engrossing, and unputdownable!
Being Lolita is a journey through Alisson Wood's experiences as a teenager and young woman, from her descent as the idealized 'nymphet' created by the grooming of her teacher Mr. North's 'Humbert Humbert' to the poised, strong, and unabashedly honest woman she is today.
This memoir is completely consuming---I finished it in a matter of hours! Wood manages to handle such delicate topics and complicated emotions with effortless ability. Not once does she idealize her abuser, even in her reflections of her past, but she still manages to give the reader a sense of how easily a situation can spiral and how quickly innocence can be stolen with the right words and actions. This book also incorporates a fascinating study of the source material Lolita itself, with plenty of exploration of context, origin, and allusions used in Nabokov's work which is interesting in its own right.
This is one of the most unique and fast-paced memoirs I've ever read, and I would strongly recommend it to anyone interested in the concept of Lolita, as long as the sensitive topics discussed in the book are not triggering for you. An essentially important conversation to be had, and kudos to Alisson Wood for taking this step and sharing her story!
4.5 ⭐️
Raw, engrossing, and unputdownable!
Being Lolita is a journey through Alisson Wood's experiences as a teenager and young woman, from her descent as the idealized 'nymphet' created by the grooming of her teacher Mr. North's 'Humbert Humbert' to the poised, strong, and unabashedly honest woman she is today.
This memoir is completely consuming---I finished it in a matter of hours! Wood manages to handle such delicate topics and complicated emotions with effortless ability. Not once does she idealize her abuser, even in her reflections of her past, but she still manages to give the reader a sense of how easily a situation can spiral and how quickly innocence can be stolen with the right words and actions. This book also incorporates a fascinating study of the source material Lolita itself, with plenty of exploration of context, origin, and allusions used in Nabokov's work which is interesting in its own right.
This is one of the most unique and fast-paced memoirs I've ever read, and I would strongly recommend it to anyone interested in the concept of Lolita, as long as the sensitive topics discussed in the book are not triggering for you. An essentially important conversation to be had, and kudos to Alisson Wood for taking this step and sharing her story!
4.5 ⭐️
February 16, 2026
⋰˚☆ 2 (Dnf)
ೃ⁀➷
When I write this review, in no way am I invalidating the authors feelings. I’m 100% sympathetic of her experience with a pedophile, but this book was boring. I simply couldn’t get into, and I know that may sound
dismissive considering that this has actually happened - I was just very bored.
As someone who has read Lolita, I could not see the correlation at all - Besides the pedophilia..
This book just wasn’t for me, but I do with the author the best.
ೃ⁀➷
When I write this review, in no way am I invalidating the authors feelings. I’m 100% sympathetic of her experience with a pedophile, but this book was boring. I simply couldn’t get into, and I know that may sound
dismissive considering that this has actually happened - I was just very bored.
As someone who has read Lolita, I could not see the correlation at all - Besides the pedophilia..
This book just wasn’t for me, but I do with the author the best.
October 15, 2020
Whoa! I am not a big fan of Memoirs, but this one is so well written it felt like I was talking to a friend over a cup of soothing hot chocolate. Reads more like fiction to me, and I love the way that Alisson expresses her voice at least internally. The seduction of Alisson, much like the seduction of Lolita, was not beautiful or poetic and Being Lolita: A Memoir definitely shows that.
The hardest parts (and there were so many of them) were Alisson's denial about her relationship with The Teacher and what the relationship was really about. I find myself cheering her on at times, and cringing at times and when I get that involved in a book, then you know it hits hard.
The best parts were her moments of self realization, the deep literary analysis that she does on Nabakov's Lolita (one of the best I have ever read), and how Wood uses what happened in her past to show truth in literature in her writing classes that she teaches.
I want to say a special thank you to Alisson Wood for writing this memoir, for using her voice to show the reader what love is not, for using her courage to help others in their own journeys.
Library ebook
The hardest parts (and there were so many of them) were Alisson's denial about her relationship with The Teacher and what the relationship was really about. I find myself cheering her on at times, and cringing at times and when I get that involved in a book, then you know it hits hard.
The best parts were her moments of self realization, the deep literary analysis that she does on Nabakov's Lolita (one of the best I have ever read), and how Wood uses what happened in her past to show truth in literature in her writing classes that she teaches.
I want to say a special thank you to Alisson Wood for writing this memoir, for using her voice to show the reader what love is not, for using her courage to help others in their own journeys.
Library ebook
June 18, 2021
More accurate rating: 3/10.
And here is my full-length video review: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-U2sU....
Preliminary review:
Alrighty, let's do this.
As with my video review, I'll start with a pretty important disclaimer:
I do NOT dispute the fact that the author, Ms. Wood, went through the experience of an abusive sexual relationship with a man who was her teacher in her senior year of high school; that she is a victim and survivor of rape, emotional abuse and grooming*. I'm sorry this happened to her and wish her the best of luck on her road to healing.
* But, the grooming she experienced was not, as I choose to call it, of the pedo-hebephilic/underage/just out of childhood kind. Which is the type of grooming and sexual abuse I myself experienced, which Vanessa Wye experiences in My Dark Vanessa, which Daphne Greenslay experiences in Putney, and which Ms. Springora, who wrote her own memoir about the subject, experienced in real life at the hands of author Gabriel Matzneff, and which is misleadingly implied by the title of Ms. Wood's memoir.
And which isn't, ironically enough, what the character Dolores Haze goes through in Lolita, as there is no grooming in the novel by Vladimir Nabokov: "only" kidnapping and child rape. But alas, society has chosen to retain the words "Lolita" and "nymphet" to describe situations in which an underage victim falls in love with her (much) older predator, and thus I also choose to qualify all the narratives I mentioned above (whether real or fictional) as Lolita-responsive narratives. And once again, the memoir Being Lolita isn't one of them.
This paragraph, present in the text itself, basically sums up my issues with this memoir:
"Sometimes I worry if the whole Lolita intertextuality is just a conceit, a clever way to elevate what happened to me, to raise it above the tawdry. I still wonder if I have just exaggerated things, if I am the unreliable narrator in this story, if I truly did seduce him, if this Lolita concept is just crafted to give this relationship meaning."
Why yes, that is exactly what the author did. This paragraph stood as a strange moment of radical self-awareness and transparency, because the author, I maintain, did not in fact experience what Dolores Haze does in the novel Lolita. The only reason Lolita is relevant to her lived experience is because her abuser had/has a creepy, fetishistic obsession with the novel, and called the author a Lolita (even though, at 18 years of age, she clearly wasn't by Humbert Humbert's own definitional standards).
So it felt to me as if the author was appropriating an experience, or a type of experience, she simply did not have... And I found this slightly offensive if I'm being perfectly honest. Now, let me be clear: I am not ascribing nefarious motivations to the author. I do not know why she chose to present her story in this distorted fashion. It left me feeling incredibly raw and puzzled, as her story of abuse, of what I'll call "adult/young adult grooming", is perfectly legitimate as it is.
There were so many elements in the memoir intimating the author was a child, a literal nymphet, in a relationship with a literal Humbert Humbert, that felt forced, and fake, and which rubbed my skin like sand-paper. But the simple fact is she was not, as a legal adult of 18 in a relationship with a young man of 26/27, in the same kind of situation I was, as a child of 13 in a relationship with a man who was 49. I'd never had sex in my life, the author'd already had three non-abusive boyfriends (not that prior sexual experience means you can't be raped/groomed by an abuser later on, we're all agreed here). I was just starting to exit puberty; at 18 the author was well out of it.
A waitress in a diner comments at one point on how much of a lovely couple the author and her abuser make; this never would've happened to me, or to any of the other victims, real or fictional, I mentioned above. Ms. Wood's abuser honestly put me more in mind of Christian Grey (whom I will call an abuser, I don't effing care that 50 Shades is supposed to be erotica and non-rapey) than Humbert Humbert, Jacob Strane, Ralph Boyd, Gabriel Matzneff or my own abuser.
I just don't get it. I do not get why the author chose to do this, to present her narrative this way.
Then, of course, I took issue with her overly simplistic analysis of Lolita, the novel, and the borderline nefarious authorial intent she decided to ascribe to the author Vladimir Nabokov, based on the fact he collected butterflies as part of his passion for them/study of them. That was just a massively WTF moment, not to mention intellectually immature (I guess Thomas Harris, the man who wrote the Hannibal Lecter series, keeps a fridge full of brain at home then, hmm?).
Now, fair enough, I can understand the author has a biased appreciation of the novel precisely because her abuser was obsessed with it. But what bothers me is that, given the momentum sexual abuse survival stories/testimonies have recently gained (and that's a good thing!), people might not be as inclined to check out the source material often cited in said narratives, and make up their own minds about it. Just take a random memoir author's word for it, as it were. At least, that's my hot take based on some of the reviews I've seen here on this very site, where the ignorance displayed about the novel Lolita is quite honestly upsetting.
Anyway, that's enough of that. This memoir was a massive disappointment, it's title a great example of "false advertising", its contents mildly distressing/offensive, given their misleading/misappropriating nature.
I would not recommend it.
Read Le Consentement (or Consent in English) by Vanessa Springora, Putney by Sofka Zinovieff or My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell for a "Lolita-responsive" narrative instead. Or, you know... another memoir/novel about an adult/young adult abusive relationship, if that's what you're looking for.
PS: this memoir wasn't that well written either, just as an fyi. I absolutely hated the couple of pseudo-Nabokovisms the author inserted for, I assume, stylistic effect.
And here is my full-length video review: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-U2sU....
Preliminary review:
Alrighty, let's do this.
As with my video review, I'll start with a pretty important disclaimer:
I do NOT dispute the fact that the author, Ms. Wood, went through the experience of an abusive sexual relationship with a man who was her teacher in her senior year of high school; that she is a victim and survivor of rape, emotional abuse and grooming*. I'm sorry this happened to her and wish her the best of luck on her road to healing.
* But, the grooming she experienced was not, as I choose to call it, of the pedo-hebephilic/underage/just out of childhood kind. Which is the type of grooming and sexual abuse I myself experienced, which Vanessa Wye experiences in My Dark Vanessa, which Daphne Greenslay experiences in Putney, and which Ms. Springora, who wrote her own memoir about the subject, experienced in real life at the hands of author Gabriel Matzneff, and which is misleadingly implied by the title of Ms. Wood's memoir.
And which isn't, ironically enough, what the character Dolores Haze goes through in Lolita, as there is no grooming in the novel by Vladimir Nabokov: "only" kidnapping and child rape. But alas, society has chosen to retain the words "Lolita" and "nymphet" to describe situations in which an underage victim falls in love with her (much) older predator, and thus I also choose to qualify all the narratives I mentioned above (whether real or fictional) as Lolita-responsive narratives. And once again, the memoir Being Lolita isn't one of them.
This paragraph, present in the text itself, basically sums up my issues with this memoir:
"Sometimes I worry if the whole Lolita intertextuality is just a conceit, a clever way to elevate what happened to me, to raise it above the tawdry. I still wonder if I have just exaggerated things, if I am the unreliable narrator in this story, if I truly did seduce him, if this Lolita concept is just crafted to give this relationship meaning."
Why yes, that is exactly what the author did. This paragraph stood as a strange moment of radical self-awareness and transparency, because the author, I maintain, did not in fact experience what Dolores Haze does in the novel Lolita. The only reason Lolita is relevant to her lived experience is because her abuser had/has a creepy, fetishistic obsession with the novel, and called the author a Lolita (even though, at 18 years of age, she clearly wasn't by Humbert Humbert's own definitional standards).
So it felt to me as if the author was appropriating an experience, or a type of experience, she simply did not have... And I found this slightly offensive if I'm being perfectly honest. Now, let me be clear: I am not ascribing nefarious motivations to the author. I do not know why she chose to present her story in this distorted fashion. It left me feeling incredibly raw and puzzled, as her story of abuse, of what I'll call "adult/young adult grooming", is perfectly legitimate as it is.
There were so many elements in the memoir intimating the author was a child, a literal nymphet, in a relationship with a literal Humbert Humbert, that felt forced, and fake, and which rubbed my skin like sand-paper. But the simple fact is she was not, as a legal adult of 18 in a relationship with a young man of 26/27, in the same kind of situation I was, as a child of 13 in a relationship with a man who was 49. I'd never had sex in my life, the author'd already had three non-abusive boyfriends (not that prior sexual experience means you can't be raped/groomed by an abuser later on, we're all agreed here). I was just starting to exit puberty; at 18 the author was well out of it.
A waitress in a diner comments at one point on how much of a lovely couple the author and her abuser make; this never would've happened to me, or to any of the other victims, real or fictional, I mentioned above. Ms. Wood's abuser honestly put me more in mind of Christian Grey (whom I will call an abuser, I don't effing care that 50 Shades is supposed to be erotica and non-rapey) than Humbert Humbert, Jacob Strane, Ralph Boyd, Gabriel Matzneff or my own abuser.
I just don't get it. I do not get why the author chose to do this, to present her narrative this way.
Then, of course, I took issue with her overly simplistic analysis of Lolita, the novel, and the borderline nefarious authorial intent she decided to ascribe to the author Vladimir Nabokov, based on the fact he collected butterflies as part of his passion for them/study of them. That was just a massively WTF moment, not to mention intellectually immature (I guess Thomas Harris, the man who wrote the Hannibal Lecter series, keeps a fridge full of brain at home then, hmm?).
Now, fair enough, I can understand the author has a biased appreciation of the novel precisely because her abuser was obsessed with it. But what bothers me is that, given the momentum sexual abuse survival stories/testimonies have recently gained (and that's a good thing!), people might not be as inclined to check out the source material often cited in said narratives, and make up their own minds about it. Just take a random memoir author's word for it, as it were. At least, that's my hot take based on some of the reviews I've seen here on this very site, where the ignorance displayed about the novel Lolita is quite honestly upsetting.
Anyway, that's enough of that. This memoir was a massive disappointment, it's title a great example of "false advertising", its contents mildly distressing/offensive, given their misleading/misappropriating nature.
I would not recommend it.
Read Le Consentement (or Consent in English) by Vanessa Springora, Putney by Sofka Zinovieff or My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell for a "Lolita-responsive" narrative instead. Or, you know... another memoir/novel about an adult/young adult abusive relationship, if that's what you're looking for.
PS: this memoir wasn't that well written either, just as an fyi. I absolutely hated the couple of pseudo-Nabokovisms the author inserted for, I assume, stylistic effect.
June 29, 2021
4.5
‘being lolita’ is an incredibly raw, vulnerable, and engrossing memoir about alisson wood’s relationship with her high school english teacher, mr north. at age 17, alisson first turns to mr north for help with her writing, but things turn darker when he gives her a copy of nabokov’s ‘lolita’ to read, claiming it’s a beautiful love story to rival their own. ‘lolita’ ultimately sets the backdrop for the rest of their time together, creating a relationship which turns from a simple crush into a site of manipulation, obsession, and control.
this book offers the reader a glimpse into the relationship between alisson and mr north as it progresses in high school and then further once she graduates. she recalls how the relationship was abusive from the start, and only got more so as time went on. but despite this, alisson is still stuck as mr north’s version of ‘lolita’ and believes their relationship is a love story, and it’s not until a female professor in college explains the book in a different way that alisson finally comes to terms with the reality of their relationship: that it was abuse and grooming, not love.
a part i particularly liked about this memoir was that alisson uses a lot of literary references while examining her relationship with the teacher, referencing stories like ‘alice in wonderland’ and other fairytale tropes, like the old-age tale of princesses needing to be saved by a prince.
if you’ve read/heard of ‘my dark vanessa’, you’ll know that the premise is very similar, although ‘being lolita’ is a memoir while (as far as i know) ‘my dark vanessa’ is purely fictional. but with their similar premises, both of these books shine a light on how ‘lolita’ has been grossly misinterpreted as a love story by some (and often in culture too) and used as an justification for predatory behaviour, instead of being used as a cautionary tale about abuse and pedophillia as nabokov intended. but if you’ve read and enjoyed ‘my dark vanessa’ (as much as you can ‘enjoy’ it i guess??) then i’d recommend you give ‘being lolita’ a read too!
check out my instagram for more reviews: @lbhreads
‘being lolita’ is an incredibly raw, vulnerable, and engrossing memoir about alisson wood’s relationship with her high school english teacher, mr north. at age 17, alisson first turns to mr north for help with her writing, but things turn darker when he gives her a copy of nabokov’s ‘lolita’ to read, claiming it’s a beautiful love story to rival their own. ‘lolita’ ultimately sets the backdrop for the rest of their time together, creating a relationship which turns from a simple crush into a site of manipulation, obsession, and control.
this book offers the reader a glimpse into the relationship between alisson and mr north as it progresses in high school and then further once she graduates. she recalls how the relationship was abusive from the start, and only got more so as time went on. but despite this, alisson is still stuck as mr north’s version of ‘lolita’ and believes their relationship is a love story, and it’s not until a female professor in college explains the book in a different way that alisson finally comes to terms with the reality of their relationship: that it was abuse and grooming, not love.
a part i particularly liked about this memoir was that alisson uses a lot of literary references while examining her relationship with the teacher, referencing stories like ‘alice in wonderland’ and other fairytale tropes, like the old-age tale of princesses needing to be saved by a prince.
if you’ve read/heard of ‘my dark vanessa’, you’ll know that the premise is very similar, although ‘being lolita’ is a memoir while (as far as i know) ‘my dark vanessa’ is purely fictional. but with their similar premises, both of these books shine a light on how ‘lolita’ has been grossly misinterpreted as a love story by some (and often in culture too) and used as an justification for predatory behaviour, instead of being used as a cautionary tale about abuse and pedophillia as nabokov intended. but if you’ve read and enjoyed ‘my dark vanessa’ (as much as you can ‘enjoy’ it i guess??) then i’d recommend you give ‘being lolita’ a read too!
check out my instagram for more reviews: @lbhreads
July 19, 2025
“Keeping it quiet, keeps it ours…” 🦋📚
I have so many thoughts I don’t even know where to begin… This memoir was heartbreaking, beautiful, creepy, infuriating — just… a lot.
At its core, Being Lolita is a raw and reflective account of an inappropriate, manipulative, and abusive relationship between a high school student and her teacher. It’s not fictional. This really happened. And that fact alone? Chilled me to the bone.
What really stood out to me was how this book shattered the glamorization and romanticization of teacher-student dynamics that are so often fetishized in books, media, and fanfic. I’ve never truly thought about the psychological toll or long-term damage something like this could leave behind in real life — until now. The grooming, the gaslighting, the power imbalance… it’s disturbing. And terrifyingly more common than we probably know.
The way the relationship was slowly laid out over two years — how it began, escalated, and ultimately collapsed — was written with such vivid recall. Her words made the scenes play out in my mind like a film. And the fact that her teacher gave her a copy of Lolita to normalize what he was doing?? Absolutely deranged. Psychotic, even.
I highlighted so much of this book it’s ridiculous. Alisson’s writing is stunning, lyrical, and painfully personal. I felt like I knew her — like I was sitting across from her hearing this story firsthand.
But what moved me the most was her ability to reclaim her voice. To become the kind of teacher she needed. That full-circle moment was everything.
This memoir is a must-read. For survivors. For educators. For anyone who’s ever looked the other way. It’s powerful, it’s necessary, and it’ll stay with me for a long time.
📖💬:
“The store assured me that my butterfly had already led a full life, and was I aware that many butterflies lived only a few days? That their shortest life span is when they have wings? They are ready for death at the height of their beauty. Their purpose at that point is purely sexual, to lay eggs, to multiply. And then they die.”🦋
“In the book, Nabokov kills Lolita off before she can complete her life cycle. She is pregnant but dies in childbirth, along with the child. If becoming a woman, an adult, is signified by becoming a mother, Lolita never gets there. Nabokov made her a nymphet forever.” 🖤
I have so many thoughts I don’t even know where to begin… This memoir was heartbreaking, beautiful, creepy, infuriating — just… a lot.
At its core, Being Lolita is a raw and reflective account of an inappropriate, manipulative, and abusive relationship between a high school student and her teacher. It’s not fictional. This really happened. And that fact alone? Chilled me to the bone.
What really stood out to me was how this book shattered the glamorization and romanticization of teacher-student dynamics that are so often fetishized in books, media, and fanfic. I’ve never truly thought about the psychological toll or long-term damage something like this could leave behind in real life — until now. The grooming, the gaslighting, the power imbalance… it’s disturbing. And terrifyingly more common than we probably know.
The way the relationship was slowly laid out over two years — how it began, escalated, and ultimately collapsed — was written with such vivid recall. Her words made the scenes play out in my mind like a film. And the fact that her teacher gave her a copy of Lolita to normalize what he was doing?? Absolutely deranged. Psychotic, even.
I highlighted so much of this book it’s ridiculous. Alisson’s writing is stunning, lyrical, and painfully personal. I felt like I knew her — like I was sitting across from her hearing this story firsthand.
But what moved me the most was her ability to reclaim her voice. To become the kind of teacher she needed. That full-circle moment was everything.
This memoir is a must-read. For survivors. For educators. For anyone who’s ever looked the other way. It’s powerful, it’s necessary, and it’ll stay with me for a long time.
📖💬:
“The store assured me that my butterfly had already led a full life, and was I aware that many butterflies lived only a few days? That their shortest life span is when they have wings? They are ready for death at the height of their beauty. Their purpose at that point is purely sexual, to lay eggs, to multiply. And then they die.”🦋
“In the book, Nabokov kills Lolita off before she can complete her life cycle. She is pregnant but dies in childbirth, along with the child. If becoming a woman, an adult, is signified by becoming a mother, Lolita never gets there. Nabokov made her a nymphet forever.” 🖤
November 25, 2020
Find all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
3.5 Stars
At what point does a man transform into a wolf?
At what point does a girl turn into prey?
Nonfiction November????
Really, though, as soon as I saw that title and cover I was all over snagging this from the library because . . . .
It’s a bit of an obsession.
It probably goes without saying that this was an uncomfortable read. We meet Allison as a 17-year old senior who has a reputation in her high school for being crazy and a bit of a slut. In reality she had only had sex a handful of times, but most certainly was not quite mentally stable which marked her as an easy victim for the charming English teacher, Mr. North. What follows is the story of her being groomed by an unapologetic ephebophile until she finally is able to break from his clutches. Obviously not for everyone, but an in-your-face look at misuse of power and how easy it is for someone young and inexperienced to fall into a “relationship” which revolves around a cycle of abuse that may help someone else from becoming a statistic (with or without the teacher/role model/older man being part of the scenario).
3.5 Stars
At what point does a man transform into a wolf?
At what point does a girl turn into prey?
Nonfiction November????
Really, though, as soon as I saw that title and cover I was all over snagging this from the library because . . . .
It’s a bit of an obsession.
It probably goes without saying that this was an uncomfortable read. We meet Allison as a 17-year old senior who has a reputation in her high school for being crazy and a bit of a slut. In reality she had only had sex a handful of times, but most certainly was not quite mentally stable which marked her as an easy victim for the charming English teacher, Mr. North. What follows is the story of her being groomed by an unapologetic ephebophile until she finally is able to break from his clutches. Obviously not for everyone, but an in-your-face look at misuse of power and how easy it is for someone young and inexperienced to fall into a “relationship” which revolves around a cycle of abuse that may help someone else from becoming a statistic (with or without the teacher/role model/older man being part of the scenario).
April 30, 2022
This is Alisson Wood's memoir of the two years she spent under the spell of an English teacher at her high school and how it has affected her life since. I'm totally blown away by how much Being Lolita mirrors Kate Russell's fiction book My Dark Vanessa but I guess strange coincidences occur.
This memoir was gripping and extremely well written although difficult to read at times. I experienced many emotions while reading this story. I wanted to give the young Alisson a shake and "The Teacher" a slap. The chapters were nice and short and the book was a pretty quick read. I've never read Nabokov's Lolita but between this book, My Dark Vanessa and Rust & Stardust, I think I have a pretty good idea of what the book's all about.
Another loan from the lovely London Public Library.
This memoir was gripping and extremely well written although difficult to read at times. I experienced many emotions while reading this story. I wanted to give the young Alisson a shake and "The Teacher" a slap. The chapters were nice and short and the book was a pretty quick read. I've never read Nabokov's Lolita but between this book, My Dark Vanessa and Rust & Stardust, I think I have a pretty good idea of what the book's all about.
Another loan from the lovely London Public Library.
March 16, 2022
Thank you NetGalley and Flatiron Books for my ARC. This is a heartbreaking memoir about Alisson Wood’s experience of being groomed by her high school English teacher. It is very reminiscent of My Dark Vanessa which also tells the story of abuse and manipulation of a minor at the hands of an adult. My heart ached for Alisson as she relayed her recollection of her relationship with “The Teacher.” At times difficult to read, yet always compelling and inspiring. This is a survivor’s story that needs to be told.
October 16, 2022
I’ve been reading a lot of fun witch books lately, and writing reviews of those, so I hate to take a detour into something truly darker, but I’ve noticed something troubling about some of the reviews of Being Lolita and so wanted to take a break to speak up in support of this book.
Some of the reviews attempt to critique the author for, they think unsuccessfully, trying to somehow compare herself or her story to that of Lolita. I have a really hard time understanding this because the book is extremely transparent about why and how Lolita became a theme - an unwelcome and uninvited one - in the author’s life and thus in her memoir.
The author herself did not and does not personally identify, or want to identify, or ever CHOOSE to identify with Lolita. Rather, it’s the author’s abuser, an English teacher, who is wholly obsessed with the novel throughout their relationship. He constantly speaks of it to her, makes reference of it to her in their correspondence, foists both the book and the original film upon her while she is his student, and HE is the one who makes frequent and direct comparisons between their “relationship” and the characters and events of the novel. This is all very clearly detailed in the memoir.
Therefore, rather than identifying with Lolita, the author uses Lolita at times as a clue or key in trying to make sense of her childhood experience. If it doesn’t ultimately end up making sense to the reader, or to the author for that matter (and she is pretty clear that it doesn’t) - then that’s because there is no reason or sense to be made of abuse.
So, the only reason the author is toying with the idea of “Being Lolita” in the first place is because the abuser co-opted or invoked Lolita as one means of normalizing or glamorizing the grooming and abuse, and now the author is grappling with Lolita as one means of trying to process and understand what happened to her in her youth: how and why the abuser was able to do what he did; how he justified and made sense of it to himself; how other bystanders allowed it to happen; and especially how the Lolita myth has facilitated minimization and victim blaming around the grooming and abuse of young women, students, and other young victims.
Engaging with or relating to Lolita is something that was originally imposed upon the author by her abuser rather than some kind of specifically aesthetic or literary “angle” the author is choosing to aim for: it’s an artifact of her youth and a legacy of the abuse. She IS choosing to now reclaim it in a sense - not only for herself, but also for others who have been abused - by here using it as a tool for exploration and hopefully healing. If to some unattuned readers the author’s story doesn’t “fit” with the Lolita story, or feels forced - well then YES, that is exactly the author’s point. Most obviously the author’s relationship with Lolita would have to be messy, fraught, and complicated, to say the least.
This isn’t ever meant to be a book “about” Lolita, but rather about abusers’ use of manipulation, exploitation, and coercive control, especially given advantageous power dynamics around factors including age, gender, and institutional authority.
Some of the reviews attempt to critique the author for, they think unsuccessfully, trying to somehow compare herself or her story to that of Lolita. I have a really hard time understanding this because the book is extremely transparent about why and how Lolita became a theme - an unwelcome and uninvited one - in the author’s life and thus in her memoir.
The author herself did not and does not personally identify, or want to identify, or ever CHOOSE to identify with Lolita. Rather, it’s the author’s abuser, an English teacher, who is wholly obsessed with the novel throughout their relationship. He constantly speaks of it to her, makes reference of it to her in their correspondence, foists both the book and the original film upon her while she is his student, and HE is the one who makes frequent and direct comparisons between their “relationship” and the characters and events of the novel. This is all very clearly detailed in the memoir.
Therefore, rather than identifying with Lolita, the author uses Lolita at times as a clue or key in trying to make sense of her childhood experience. If it doesn’t ultimately end up making sense to the reader, or to the author for that matter (and she is pretty clear that it doesn’t) - then that’s because there is no reason or sense to be made of abuse.
So, the only reason the author is toying with the idea of “Being Lolita” in the first place is because the abuser co-opted or invoked Lolita as one means of normalizing or glamorizing the grooming and abuse, and now the author is grappling with Lolita as one means of trying to process and understand what happened to her in her youth: how and why the abuser was able to do what he did; how he justified and made sense of it to himself; how other bystanders allowed it to happen; and especially how the Lolita myth has facilitated minimization and victim blaming around the grooming and abuse of young women, students, and other young victims.
Engaging with or relating to Lolita is something that was originally imposed upon the author by her abuser rather than some kind of specifically aesthetic or literary “angle” the author is choosing to aim for: it’s an artifact of her youth and a legacy of the abuse. She IS choosing to now reclaim it in a sense - not only for herself, but also for others who have been abused - by here using it as a tool for exploration and hopefully healing. If to some unattuned readers the author’s story doesn’t “fit” with the Lolita story, or feels forced - well then YES, that is exactly the author’s point. Most obviously the author’s relationship with Lolita would have to be messy, fraught, and complicated, to say the least.
This isn’t ever meant to be a book “about” Lolita, but rather about abusers’ use of manipulation, exploitation, and coercive control, especially given advantageous power dynamics around factors including age, gender, and institutional authority.
August 11, 2020
This is a memoir of a young woman who lived out a similar story to the one in Nabokov's divisive classic, Lolita. The author was a depressed and lonely teenager when an English teacher at her high school began paying her special attention. They began to develop an extremely inappropriate relationship that continued (and became even more toxic) after she graduated.
There have been several books with this kind of story that have been released over the past few years, and I think it's really important not only that victims have a space to tell their stories, but also to educate others on what abusive relationships, including this case of an extreme exploitation of a power dynamic, look like.
I ended up having mixed feelings about this book. I love and support the message, but the execution was flawed. Her narrative from her teenage years is sometimes, but without any purposeful rhythm, interrupted by her adult thoughts. Sometimes this involves breaking the fourth wall and outright addressing the reader for no good reason. It breaks the ability for the reader - who is likely very aware that the relationship isn't healthy - to feel there with the author in her teenage years, all wrapped up in the lines this teacher was feeding her. The book also mixes literary allusions to the point of becoming muddled. There's Lolita, of course, but also Alice in Wonderland, The Great Gatsby, Poe...oh, and references to Disney. There wasn't a central thread connecting all of these, so their inclusion ended up becoming confusing.
There have been several books with this kind of story that have been released over the past few years, and I think it's really important not only that victims have a space to tell their stories, but also to educate others on what abusive relationships, including this case of an extreme exploitation of a power dynamic, look like.
I ended up having mixed feelings about this book. I love and support the message, but the execution was flawed. Her narrative from her teenage years is sometimes, but without any purposeful rhythm, interrupted by her adult thoughts. Sometimes this involves breaking the fourth wall and outright addressing the reader for no good reason. It breaks the ability for the reader - who is likely very aware that the relationship isn't healthy - to feel there with the author in her teenage years, all wrapped up in the lines this teacher was feeding her. The book also mixes literary allusions to the point of becoming muddled. There's Lolita, of course, but also Alice in Wonderland, The Great Gatsby, Poe...oh, and references to Disney. There wasn't a central thread connecting all of these, so their inclusion ended up becoming confusing.
August 10, 2020
I’m not much one for trigger warnings, but if you need one for this book, it’s right there in the title. The author writes a heartbreaking, beautiful and reflective story about being preyed on by her high school English teacher, and believing it was love. Her story is not uncommon and most women will be able to see some small bit of their own experience in it. Though she later learns her experience itself was sadly not “special,” she has made it into an incredibly special book.
The book describes 17-year-old Alisson’s seduction by her 26-year-old teacher within the framework of Nabakov’s “Lolita.” As we all know, and as this book explores, the very word “Lolita” has become synonymous with a child seductress who holds all the cards, rendering men powerless by her (young, illegal) sexuality. This is how her predator painted her throughout. It was only later in life when she realized her experience of the story was her own and did not follow his unreliable narration.
Here, in the course of reflecting on what happened to her, Wood also does a great textual analysis of the original Lolita as written by Nabakov. After reading this book I felt like I had experienced moments of enlightenment both about my own childhood, and about the book Lolita. I have to really hand it to Wood for laying her most painful moments so bare in this memoir. It’s the kind of book that is going to help other people. But it brings its deeper message and analysis through what is also a beautiful and completely addictive, page-turning reading experience.
At times crushingly hard to read and at other times beautiful (not unlike the original text), this is an exceptional memoir. The ending, and particularly the part about butterflies (you’ll know it when you get there), was perfect.
Thanks to NetGalley, Flatiron Books and Alisson Wood for the advance copy of this excellent memoir. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
The book describes 17-year-old Alisson’s seduction by her 26-year-old teacher within the framework of Nabakov’s “Lolita.” As we all know, and as this book explores, the very word “Lolita” has become synonymous with a child seductress who holds all the cards, rendering men powerless by her (young, illegal) sexuality. This is how her predator painted her throughout. It was only later in life when she realized her experience of the story was her own and did not follow his unreliable narration.
Here, in the course of reflecting on what happened to her, Wood also does a great textual analysis of the original Lolita as written by Nabakov. After reading this book I felt like I had experienced moments of enlightenment both about my own childhood, and about the book Lolita. I have to really hand it to Wood for laying her most painful moments so bare in this memoir. It’s the kind of book that is going to help other people. But it brings its deeper message and analysis through what is also a beautiful and completely addictive, page-turning reading experience.
At times crushingly hard to read and at other times beautiful (not unlike the original text), this is an exceptional memoir. The ending, and particularly the part about butterflies (you’ll know it when you get there), was perfect.
Thanks to NetGalley, Flatiron Books and Alisson Wood for the advance copy of this excellent memoir. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
August 27, 2021
Being Lolita is an incredibly fast read, being a straight narration of an abusive relationship between a teenaged Alisson and a teacher from her high school. There was not much in the memoir to commend it, either in writing style or depth of reflection. It was more an experience of watching an uncomfortable train wreck. I feel bad saying this, because I recognize how much the author suffered as a result of her experiences. Still, they translate onto the page rather awkwardly, and have the feel of a journal she is keeping years later as she processes her trauma. There are a few aha! moments where she recognizes the horror for what it is, largely in retrospect, and I would have appreciated a stronger dissection here (her title for the third and final part).
I probably would have stopped reading partway were it not for some parallels between Alisson's experience and my own past (thankfully not as extreme). Maybe that influenced my disappointment, because I had certain expectations, or the cringe factor as I recognized myself in places I didn't want to. I'm not sorry I read it, but I can't really recommend it.
I probably would have stopped reading partway were it not for some parallels between Alisson's experience and my own past (thankfully not as extreme). Maybe that influenced my disappointment, because I had certain expectations, or the cringe factor as I recognized myself in places I didn't want to. I'm not sorry I read it, but I can't really recommend it.
June 28, 2023
"At what point does a man transform into a wolf?"
"At what point does a girl turn into prey?"
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ 4/5 stars *ੈ✩‧₊˚
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ bye this made me bawl like a newborn. this is a deeply uncomfortable book and that is a good thing. there is no misplaced romanticisation or sensual prose; wood wields her sentences like knives as she dissects her own 'lolita love story' here and acknowledges a sympathy with dolores, nabokov's tragic heroine who we do a disservice by never really calling by name. being lolita knits together past and present voice to accentuate the quick spiral of predatory behaviour which all too often goes unrecognized in its insidious early stages if not throughout. with retrospection what may have seemed a love story to a young wood reveals itself to be a tragedy, an enduring trauma. boundaries to men like mr. north are just doors to slowly inch open until it's too late and the victim is none the wiser. it's memoirs and stories like wood's that will shape us to do better, to know better - to see the wolf and change the narrative. no more being lolita.
August 23, 2020
I LOVE the way that Alisson Wood writes. It feels so intimate. Her style is really unique.
It shows a relationship between a high school teacher and his student.
Nick is extremely manipulative and twisted. As an educated man (ENGLISH TEACHER !!!) the way he romanticizes Lolita is sick. He literally, willingly identifies with Humbert Humbert.......... There is this scene, where he is so pissed off at Alisson, because when they have sex for the first time she bleeds, even though she said she isn't a virgin. Guess why he is upset... BECAUSE IN LOLITA HUMBERT CALLS CHARLIE THE RAPIST (HE DEFLOWERED LOLITA) AND HE HIMSELF IS THE THERAPIST, same here. If Nick were to deflower Alisson, he would become the sick man and not the savior.
After reading Lolita, My Dark Vanessa and now this I can see how both Vanessa and Alisson are similar. If You ever had any doubts about that - these men are predators, watching for their prey. The girls must be lonely, a little bit dark and self-conscious, this way they are the easiest to manipulate.
This story is heart breaking and a must read.
It shows a relationship between a high school teacher and his student.
Nick is extremely manipulative and twisted. As an educated man (ENGLISH TEACHER !!!) the way he romanticizes Lolita is sick. He literally, willingly identifies with Humbert Humbert.......... There is this scene, where he is so pissed off at Alisson, because when they have sex for the first time she bleeds, even though she said she isn't a virgin. Guess why he is upset... BECAUSE IN LOLITA HUMBERT CALLS CHARLIE THE RAPIST (HE DEFLOWERED LOLITA) AND HE HIMSELF IS THE THERAPIST, same here. If Nick were to deflower Alisson, he would become the sick man and not the savior.
After reading Lolita, My Dark Vanessa and now this I can see how both Vanessa and Alisson are similar. If You ever had any doubts about that - these men are predators, watching for their prey. The girls must be lonely, a little bit dark and self-conscious, this way they are the easiest to manipulate.
This story is heart breaking and a must read.
January 9, 2021
Someone once told me, “Every Love Story is Beautiful”? Is that so? What about tortured love?
First, “Being Lolita’’ is a memoir of the author's life story from a young to adolescence. Her memoir was laid in the backdrop of a famous and controversial book of the times “Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov.” Some view Lolita as a forbidden love story between an adult and a child, while others view disgust and argue that this NOT love! It’s abuse and crime!
No doubt, I, too, see the story as an inexcusable crime, repulsive and darkly human. Within the chapters, lies are a heavy message about a young girl; destitute, despair, and downtrodden seeking solace for acceptance, approval, and affection. Alisson, her name became “Lolita” when she met “him-the teacher.” The teacher, also known as Mr. North, crossed paths with her in her high school years. In her eyes, he was like a shining armor treading upon Alisson’s path of darkness. He encouraged, befriended, and showed her what she could be for the future. The interactions between them were private, making Alisson feel flattered and specials. Alisson let her guard down.
He groomed her…. And she walked on the path he so secretly laid….
Isn’t it romantic? Mr. North continues to influence the young Alisson, their secret love, and becoming forbidden love, resembling the book Lolita's grim love affair. Their secret relationship grew darker each time when months passed, and years went by. Despite the hideous, Alisson excelled in school. Her writing talent with the teacher's help came off with flying colors landing her graduation from high school, college, and in the future. However, their relationship changed from nurture, romance to cult-like, torture love. Intense arguments and fights between them got ugly from time to time. The control from Mr. North gripping harder on Alisson, suffocating her.
The storyline may feel mundane as it reaches the middle part. In between pages, sexual intimacy was rawly described. Then, he comes alive again when Mr. North reached the end and loses self-control. He lashed out at her when she questioned and wronged him for his beliefs.
It was then, Alisson realized, an instinctual feeling that something’s not right…... She needs to get out of this!
The prose of literature was artfully composed in between text. It’s a beautiful balance of complexity and simplicity. A true journey, an honest account, by the author’s reflection of her younger life, how she survived and thrived from tortured love she mistakenly took as genuine love…...
Ms. Wood’s story deserves acknowledgment and should be a vindication for many abused, hurt, and deceived women. What do you think? Is tortured love still love?
What I know for sure, someone out there needs to hear this story………..I want to share it.
My Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐✶ / 5 (4.5 out of 5)
*Thank you, Flatiron through NetGalley, for the ARC
Being Lolita (Audiobook)
Having not flipped a single page today made me feel as guilty as can be. Once again, life priorities and more important responsibilities took over. Ok...I couldn’t find time to sit and read (period)
I turned to audiobooks for help. To my surprise, audiobooks are an excellent alternative to “read” books while working, walking, and just keeping up with learning and whatever a scrap of time is available between tasks. Even sneak reading during a work break.
My Pick for today’s book listen is none other than “BEING LOLITA,” a new debut novel that made its publication just yesterday by Alisson Wood. The story was about a sensational, repelling memoir retracing to an infinitely painful memory, and dark reminiscence of the author’s younger past and written in full view. It talks about a tortured love mistaken for true love by a vulnerable young girl with beautiful prose of balance between complexity and simplicity.
Hearing the actual Alisson reading the character Alisson in the novel brought the story to life! Her voice is very fitting for the role since it’s her story. The narration was clear and was easy to follow. Her reading pace was natural. Her voice was sweet and pleasant to hear, just as expected for the young Alisson in the book. Since I have read the novel in written form and now, hearing it makes the contents’ emotions connect to my intent even better.
Yes, I would recommend it to anyone who loves audiobooks!
First, “Being Lolita’’ is a memoir of the author's life story from a young to adolescence. Her memoir was laid in the backdrop of a famous and controversial book of the times “Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov.” Some view Lolita as a forbidden love story between an adult and a child, while others view disgust and argue that this NOT love! It’s abuse and crime!
No doubt, I, too, see the story as an inexcusable crime, repulsive and darkly human. Within the chapters, lies are a heavy message about a young girl; destitute, despair, and downtrodden seeking solace for acceptance, approval, and affection. Alisson, her name became “Lolita” when she met “him-the teacher.” The teacher, also known as Mr. North, crossed paths with her in her high school years. In her eyes, he was like a shining armor treading upon Alisson’s path of darkness. He encouraged, befriended, and showed her what she could be for the future. The interactions between them were private, making Alisson feel flattered and specials. Alisson let her guard down.
He groomed her…. And she walked on the path he so secretly laid….
Isn’t it romantic? Mr. North continues to influence the young Alisson, their secret love, and becoming forbidden love, resembling the book Lolita's grim love affair. Their secret relationship grew darker each time when months passed, and years went by. Despite the hideous, Alisson excelled in school. Her writing talent with the teacher's help came off with flying colors landing her graduation from high school, college, and in the future. However, their relationship changed from nurture, romance to cult-like, torture love. Intense arguments and fights between them got ugly from time to time. The control from Mr. North gripping harder on Alisson, suffocating her.
The storyline may feel mundane as it reaches the middle part. In between pages, sexual intimacy was rawly described. Then, he comes alive again when Mr. North reached the end and loses self-control. He lashed out at her when she questioned and wronged him for his beliefs.
It was then, Alisson realized, an instinctual feeling that something’s not right…... She needs to get out of this!
The prose of literature was artfully composed in between text. It’s a beautiful balance of complexity and simplicity. A true journey, an honest account, by the author’s reflection of her younger life, how she survived and thrived from tortured love she mistakenly took as genuine love…...
Ms. Wood’s story deserves acknowledgment and should be a vindication for many abused, hurt, and deceived women. What do you think? Is tortured love still love?
What I know for sure, someone out there needs to hear this story………..I want to share it.
My Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐✶ / 5 (4.5 out of 5)
*Thank you, Flatiron through NetGalley, for the ARC
Being Lolita (Audiobook)
Having not flipped a single page today made me feel as guilty as can be. Once again, life priorities and more important responsibilities took over. Ok...I couldn’t find time to sit and read (period)
I turned to audiobooks for help. To my surprise, audiobooks are an excellent alternative to “read” books while working, walking, and just keeping up with learning and whatever a scrap of time is available between tasks. Even sneak reading during a work break.
My Pick for today’s book listen is none other than “BEING LOLITA,” a new debut novel that made its publication just yesterday by Alisson Wood. The story was about a sensational, repelling memoir retracing to an infinitely painful memory, and dark reminiscence of the author’s younger past and written in full view. It talks about a tortured love mistaken for true love by a vulnerable young girl with beautiful prose of balance between complexity and simplicity.
Hearing the actual Alisson reading the character Alisson in the novel brought the story to life! Her voice is very fitting for the role since it’s her story. The narration was clear and was easy to follow. Her reading pace was natural. Her voice was sweet and pleasant to hear, just as expected for the young Alisson in the book. Since I have read the novel in written form and now, hearing it makes the contents’ emotions connect to my intent even better.
Yes, I would recommend it to anyone who loves audiobooks!
September 9, 2022
Full Disclosure: I know Alisson Wood. She is a friend and I had the pleasure of directing her in several plays and readings a few years back. She was a talented young woman who has obviously blossomed into a promising author. I did not know her "secret" back then about her relationship with a high school English teacher and, according to her moving and haunting memoir, few people did. This is a thoughtful memoir, poetic at times, grueling at others, not always easy to read but unflinching in its honesty. I was reminded of Kate Russell's recent novel, "My Dark Vanessa" which also explored the relationship between a young girl and her magnetic teacher, an instructor who also utilized Nabokov's "Lolita" in his seduction of his student. In some ways I found Alisson's memoir more direct, though, more honest than Russell's more obviously political polemic. In all, "Being Lolita" should be required reading in high schools. Congratulations, Alisson!
January 17, 2023
“If Lolita, Dolores, had lived, I bet she would have been in a string of shitty relationships too. How can you understand what love is supposed to be if Lolita is the greatest love story of our century? If that is your first romance?”
This was simply excellent. Being Lolita is a memoir narrated by Alisson Wood. I don’t think I can even begin to describe the emotions this book made me feel. The way Wood told her story was nothing short of courageous, and I find this book to be very important.
Manipulation is something we all know is wrong, yet, it is so easy to become blind to it. Especially when you are a young girl in desperate need of help. I know Wood stated in her novel: “when I blossomed under the attention and care of my teacher, I was asking for the support I desperately needed. I wasn’t asking to be fucked.” Hearing this quote set in stone the truth about abusive relationships, especially pedophilic ones. It is perpetually disturbing to see a teacher who is supposed to care for their students, but know boundaries as well, seek one of his students and then make it out to be the students fault.
I believe that this book as a whole was poking fun at the notion that there are still people out there that believe Lolita is a love story. That there are still people who find a way to put the blame on the victim. What Alissa Wood went through is most definitely not a love story, yet we often find ourselves intrigued by the perpetrator. This book hurt to read so much because you know you could not stop her. You could pause the book and go back in time to when Wood was in high school because now its too late. She had years of her life ripped away from her and it hurt to read.
Finally, something very compelling stood out to me about this book that I believe deserves recognition. There is a very blatant tone shift on part two of this memoir. The beginning of the novel is still disturbing, nonetheless, but nothing extremely terrible ever happens. It is more so just the teacher slowly gaining Wood’s trust, but then you reach part two and recognize the monstrosity behind this “relationship.”
In summary, I read the first part of the book feeling bad for Alissa Wood because I knew he was reeling her in. But by part two I was disgusted because he had her just where he wanted her. And once he knew he had her, he took everything away from her.
Hearing Wood’s story is very important and I think this book is important to read as well. Wood said in this novel: “writing is a lonely art.” And as I progressed through the novel, I truly began to understand the significance of those words because when you are falling through a black hole, being able to have the ability to write is so mesmerizing, yet so lonely because it is all you have left.
This was simply excellent. Being Lolita is a memoir narrated by Alisson Wood. I don’t think I can even begin to describe the emotions this book made me feel. The way Wood told her story was nothing short of courageous, and I find this book to be very important.
Manipulation is something we all know is wrong, yet, it is so easy to become blind to it. Especially when you are a young girl in desperate need of help. I know Wood stated in her novel: “when I blossomed under the attention and care of my teacher, I was asking for the support I desperately needed. I wasn’t asking to be fucked.” Hearing this quote set in stone the truth about abusive relationships, especially pedophilic ones. It is perpetually disturbing to see a teacher who is supposed to care for their students, but know boundaries as well, seek one of his students and then make it out to be the students fault.
I believe that this book as a whole was poking fun at the notion that there are still people out there that believe Lolita is a love story. That there are still people who find a way to put the blame on the victim. What Alissa Wood went through is most definitely not a love story, yet we often find ourselves intrigued by the perpetrator. This book hurt to read so much because you know you could not stop her. You could pause the book and go back in time to when Wood was in high school because now its too late. She had years of her life ripped away from her and it hurt to read.
Finally, something very compelling stood out to me about this book that I believe deserves recognition. There is a very blatant tone shift on part two of this memoir. The beginning of the novel is still disturbing, nonetheless, but nothing extremely terrible ever happens. It is more so just the teacher slowly gaining Wood’s trust, but then you reach part two and recognize the monstrosity behind this “relationship.”
In summary, I read the first part of the book feeling bad for Alissa Wood because I knew he was reeling her in. But by part two I was disgusted because he had her just where he wanted her. And once he knew he had her, he took everything away from her.
Hearing Wood’s story is very important and I think this book is important to read as well. Wood said in this novel: “writing is a lonely art.” And as I progressed through the novel, I truly began to understand the significance of those words because when you are falling through a black hole, being able to have the ability to write is so mesmerizing, yet so lonely because it is all you have left.
June 8, 2020
I feel funny saying I "enjoyed"this memoir since it focused on such a disturbing topic, but I did. It was very well written.
April 26, 2023
incredible. tense. sad. emotional. NEED TO WRITE A LONGER REVIEW
August 1, 2020
Shattering, brutal, yet hopeful. This one hurt a lot. The writing, though, is so good you won't be able to put this down, with razor sharp lines and short, punch-in-the-gut chapters. It's propulsive, inspiring, haunting - phew. I wish books like these didn't exist and I'm simultaneously so goddamn grateful they do. Let's hold up these survivor stories for the act of heroism they are.
October 10, 2020
not sure why this isnt getting as much hype as my dark vanessa??
September 4, 2022
devastating. i have no words.
July 30, 2020
5 STARS
"I wonder about things like fate, how sometimes things are just chosen for you, how women are chosen to endure suffering." - Being Lolita.
REVIEW: Thank you to NetGalley, Flatiron Books, and Alisson Wood for providing me with an advanced reader's copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. "Being Lolita" is Alisson Wood's memoir about her dark, forbidden romance with her high school English teacher Mr. North. Mr. North provides her with a copy of Nabokov's book "Lolita" and it soon becomes the basis of what their relationship is built on. This continues from Alisson's high school years and into her college years as well. Soon the relationship becomes abusive and Alisson starts to examine if this is (or has ever been) true love and if she was even the one in control at all.
I absolutely loved this memoir and am giving it five stars. I appreciate that Alisson Wood told her story with such vulnerability and strength. I especially like how the story is told, we first read about what happened to Alisson in high school and how that relationship developed, then see how it started to unravel, but rather than ending there Alisson talks about her adult life now and even examines/ analyzes relevant parts of the Nabokov text. I really appreciated this section and felt that it gave me new insights and considerations to think about while reading "Lolita". I just read that novel last month, so it is fresh in my mind. Overall, at times this book was hard to read due to the content, but it is handled with care and I believe that this is a vital, powerful story to hear and share. I am looking forward to whatever Alisson Wood puts out next!
"Nothing I thought about what happened to me was true. Nothing about what happened to me, or about Lolita at all, was about love. Much less true love. I had known this, but reading it in my own handwriting on lined paper was painful in a new way. When I wrote those lines in my journal, I wasn't some powerful, sexy grown-up. I was a child being manipulated, being preyed upon." - Being Lolita
See more on my Bookstagram: Shelf.Inspiration Instagram
SYNOPSIS: “Have you ever read Lolita?” So begins seventeen-year-old Alisson’s metamorphosis from student to lover and then victim. A lonely and vulnerable high school senior, Alisson finds solace only in her writing—and in a young, charismatic English teacher, Mr. North.
Mr. North gives Alisson a copy of Lolita to read, telling her it is a beautiful story about love. The book soon becomes the backdrop to a connection that blooms from a simple crush into a forbidden romance. But as Mr. North’s hold on her tightens, Alisson is forced to evaluate how much of their narrative is actually a disturbing fiction.
In the wake of what becomes a deeply abusive relationship, Alisson is faced again and again with the story of her past, from rereading Lolita in college to working with teenage girls to becoming a professor of creative writing. It is only with that distance and perspective that she understands the ultimate power language has had on her—and how to harness that power to tell her own true story.
RELEASE DATE: August 4, 2020
"I wonder about things like fate, how sometimes things are just chosen for you, how women are chosen to endure suffering." - Being Lolita.
REVIEW: Thank you to NetGalley, Flatiron Books, and Alisson Wood for providing me with an advanced reader's copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. "Being Lolita" is Alisson Wood's memoir about her dark, forbidden romance with her high school English teacher Mr. North. Mr. North provides her with a copy of Nabokov's book "Lolita" and it soon becomes the basis of what their relationship is built on. This continues from Alisson's high school years and into her college years as well. Soon the relationship becomes abusive and Alisson starts to examine if this is (or has ever been) true love and if she was even the one in control at all.
I absolutely loved this memoir and am giving it five stars. I appreciate that Alisson Wood told her story with such vulnerability and strength. I especially like how the story is told, we first read about what happened to Alisson in high school and how that relationship developed, then see how it started to unravel, but rather than ending there Alisson talks about her adult life now and even examines/ analyzes relevant parts of the Nabokov text. I really appreciated this section and felt that it gave me new insights and considerations to think about while reading "Lolita". I just read that novel last month, so it is fresh in my mind. Overall, at times this book was hard to read due to the content, but it is handled with care and I believe that this is a vital, powerful story to hear and share. I am looking forward to whatever Alisson Wood puts out next!
"Nothing I thought about what happened to me was true. Nothing about what happened to me, or about Lolita at all, was about love. Much less true love. I had known this, but reading it in my own handwriting on lined paper was painful in a new way. When I wrote those lines in my journal, I wasn't some powerful, sexy grown-up. I was a child being manipulated, being preyed upon." - Being Lolita
See more on my Bookstagram: Shelf.Inspiration Instagram
SYNOPSIS: “Have you ever read Lolita?” So begins seventeen-year-old Alisson’s metamorphosis from student to lover and then victim. A lonely and vulnerable high school senior, Alisson finds solace only in her writing—and in a young, charismatic English teacher, Mr. North.
Mr. North gives Alisson a copy of Lolita to read, telling her it is a beautiful story about love. The book soon becomes the backdrop to a connection that blooms from a simple crush into a forbidden romance. But as Mr. North’s hold on her tightens, Alisson is forced to evaluate how much of their narrative is actually a disturbing fiction.
In the wake of what becomes a deeply abusive relationship, Alisson is faced again and again with the story of her past, from rereading Lolita in college to working with teenage girls to becoming a professor of creative writing. It is only with that distance and perspective that she understands the ultimate power language has had on her—and how to harness that power to tell her own true story.
RELEASE DATE: August 4, 2020
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