Sista Sister

by Candice Brathwaite

Candice Brathwaite's much-anticipated second book about all the things she wishes she'd been told when she was young and needed guidance.
I Am Not Your Baby Mother was a landmark publication in 2020. A thought-provoking, urgent and inspirational guide to life as a Black British mum, it was an important call-to-arms allowing mothers to take control and scrap the parenting rulebook to do it their own way. It was a Sunday Times top five bestseller.

Sista Sister is a compilation of essays about all the things Candice wishes someone had talked to her about when she was a young Black girl growing up in London. From family and money to Black hair and fashion, as well as sex and friendships between people of different races, this will be a fascinating read that will have another profound impact on conversations about Black Lives Matter.

Written in Candice's trademark straight-talking, warm and funny style, it will delight her fans, old and new.

Genres: Nonfiction, Audiobook, Race, Feminism, Essays, Self Help, Personal Development

272 pages, Hardcover

First published July 8, 2021

Reviews

[Sue Francomb · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book in a week, which with two small kids in isolation for part of that is no mean feat! It's very easy to read as it sounds like having a chat with a friend, the style is warm and funny, but it's also not afraid to tell you the truth. As a WW I learned a lot and related to a lot. The chapter on grief/death made me cry. This is a wise book I wish it had existed about ten years ago! I highly recommend it

[Amina (aminasbookshelf) · Rating 4 out of 5]

GOOD BITS: Having grown up in the same area to Candice (she literally mentions my school in lesson 2), this book felt very relatable. Her struggles with her hair and dating white guys made me yell “preach Sista, preach!”. She articulates the issues so well that if anyone asks me about colourism and how that affects relationships for dark-skinned girls, I will simply refer them to this book from now on. However, it was the lesson on money that I found most useful because I think it’s an important topic that women don’t address enough and she gives practical advice on debt.

NOT SO GOOD BITS: Okay, I am a little woo-woo. I own rose quartz, tarot cards and have been to a psychic. But the lesson on manifestation didn’t work for me. She talks about putting things into the universe and positive thinking, which is something I loosely believe in but haven’t researched. So maybe I didn’t enjoy this chapter because I’m new to “the law of attraction” and needed an entry level explanation? Or maybe it felt jarring and contradictory to the earlier chapter about money? I don’t know, but I wasn’t feeling it.

OVERALL: If you’re a fan of personal essays, this is definitely worth picking up. My non-black listenalong buddies found it very informative, so it’s good for any race, but I love how she’s specifically written it for black girls. Candice’s life hasn’t been plain sailing but it’s also representative of thousands of women, which is why she is able to have great insight. I’d recommend it to fans of “Slay in Your Lane” or “How Do We Know We’re Doing it Right?”.

Thank you to the Tandem Collective and Quercus Books for my gifted audiobook as part of the #SistaSisterListenAlong.

[Hannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dit boek was heel goed en écht nodig! Ik vond de boodschap heel mooi. Als witte vrouw heb ik er zeker l dingen uit kunnen halen voor mezelf, maar het belangrijkste is het bewustzijn dat ze creëert.

Persoonlijk vond ik de life lessons over death en de life lesson over self-love het meest pakkend. Heb ook veel door het boek heen geannoteerd, maar ik heb het boek even niet bij de hand, dus kan even geen voorbeeld geven x

[Olivia · Rating 5 out of 5]

** Edit: Upgrading this to 5 stars because I'm still thinking about it even though it isn't the last book I read **

Definitely recommend to anyone of any age, there are lots of easily digestible life lessons and advice here. The social media chapter passed me by but would re-read the rest.

[R · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great writing. Raw and honest. Excellent follow-up to her first book „I am not your baby mother“.

[Musings on Living · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant...exactly the type of relatable advice and life lessons that can be helpful for everyone.

[adik miftakhur · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an okay book from me. I love every single thing the author wrote in this book, yet the long chapters though. 😭

[Nandalicios · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love Candice, Love her pov, very enriching.

[Isaac Martin · Rating 3 out of 5]

The strength of the essays varies, with some being absolutely knockout and some lacking direction and heart but I always admire how honest Candice is in all of her work and it’s very refreshing to see someone unafraid of exploring the ugly and dark parts of life with no holds barred.

[Rebecc · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a fantastic book, there is so much good advice & hard won experience in it that ALL women can absorb & benefit from. I'm a white woman in my 40's & probably not Candice's imagined reader, but she is right about many issues such as recognising your self-worth & how to recognise & value the important things in life. Her relationship advice is sage particularly on finding the worthwhile partners & instilling confidence & values in children to see them successfully through life. Her insights into the importance of the grieving process for your lost loved ones struck a chord with me & indeed each person grieves differently & it is vital to do so & in your own way for as long as you need.
I loved the opening chapter on hair & appearance; I'm lucky I found my ideal hairstyle earlier than Candice (think Jamie Lee Curtis or Megan Rapinoe-very short & chic, but not pink)- it suits me & I know it & I wear it proud despite the presumptions that other men & women make when they see me - Candice captured the freedom so well in her writing that I remember from my trip to the hairdresser to chop off my people pleasing hair. Loved this book.

[Sainabou · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this I will be honest

Candice is a lady I greatly admire she is doing the thang for real and it always makes me proud seeing black women win especially in this UK that we reside in lol

Some really good lessons here that I will be taking on and also nice getting to know a bit of her story too I will admit 🤎❤️

I will check out her other books

[Selina · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5/5

[Lily · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think I need to come back to write this review, but this book definitely unlocked something in me.

[Darcey Stickley · Rating 5 out of 5]

had me weeping

[Jo The Black Bookworm · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gem after Gem! 💎

This compilation of essays resonated with every version of myself that has existed so far in this funny old thing we call life. Hair, Colourism, death/grief, money, friendship and a lot more. It's a book that I will definitely be revisiting over the next few years due to the gems Candice shares throughout!

I can't quite put into words how it feels to have parts of yourself acknowledged in a book without ever being seen by the person writing it. At times I honestly felt naked whilst reading "Sista Sister". I know so many of you will feel the same after reading 'Sista Sister", acknowledging naked truths tends to evoke a shame & discomfort that you'd rather shy away from, right?

Candice bravely explores all of the discussions that I feel the older black generation tend to put under lock and key. It is what it is & not to be questioned.

If you've read "I am not your baby mother" and you've yet to purchase "Sista Sister", I really don't know what you're waiting for. These are the discussions that we really need to be opening up in our communities!

[Rebecca Jamison · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sista Sister is a book that I think everyone should read (or listen to!)

I listened to the audiobook version and I honestly feel like I could listen to anything that Candice narrates.

Broken down into ten life lessons that Candice learned the hard way, it opened my eyes about a lot of different topics.

The book touches on everything from hair (I loved Candice's description of getting her head shaved for the first time) to finance, grief and self-love.

For me, the lesson on social media was an interesting one. I have always been social media savvy as I grew up with MySpace and Bebo. I was also a parenting blogger before going into books as I decided that I didn't want to share my children as much as they got older for privacy reasons. I do feel like it consumes me at times.

As a white woman listening to this book, it made me realise my ignorance about things like colourism and relationships. It is an important one that really educated me.

[Micky · Rating 3 out of 5]

⭐️ 2.5 | I really wanted to like this book more. Based on the title, I was expecting more but it did not give me that. Honestly don’t understand the choice of title because the book was essentially an elaborated list of things she experienced as a black woman in London, nothing less, nothing more. Also I don’t entirely like the style of writing, it read like a lot of “lip smacking” - apologies, don’t know how else to put it. I like Candice but her two non-fictional books sort of fell flat for me.

[Femi (The Book Alert) · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75 stars for this insightful, well written guide from the author of I Am Not Your Baby Mother. In this part memoir, Brathwaite gives an insight into what it's like living as a Black British woman and shares some of life lessons she has learned, so you don't have to. This book is not just for Black women, anyone and everyone can take something away from it.

[Rochelle · Rating 2 out of 5]

The author states this book was written for "sista's" but the excessive explaining of process' and objects such as synthetic hair and the purpose of sealing braids with hot water makes me feel it was indeed not written for us, but written so people can understand us.

I found the constant explainations painful and boring. It made the narrative very fragmented for me and as though the author was trying to teach me to suck eggs with the constant explanations of cultural behaviours or actions of the black community.

If anyone has read the authors previous book, " i'm not your babymother " then you may find this book repetitive like i did. I really enjoyed the first book and wanted to like this one... especially as i am a huge fan of the author. But for me, however, it just did not hit the mark.

Chapter/Lesson 5 was the redeeming chapter for me, especially the frank discussion regarding money and culture. I laughed, related and felt a bit sad that this financial culture still exists within the black community.

To summarise, this book unfortunately lacked depth for me.

[The Book Club · Rating 4 out of 5]

Candice Brathwaite second book is about everything she wished she’d been told when she was young and needed guidance. Even if the book was mainly addressed to all young black women there is so much that I’ve learned and could relate to and will make treasure of.

There are some great lessons to learn from this collection of essay, I definitely find interesting the chapter about colourism, which I heard about but didn’t really know the depth of it.
This collection not only highlights topics as race, but even friendship, social media and SELF LOVE. This last one I think was probably the one that inspired me the most and definitely will go back to time to time just to remind myself how important it is to accept ourselves for who we are and not for who society or other people wants us to be.

Definitely if you guys have time pick this book up cause I promise you will find some great tips that you can apply to your life!

[Bella · Rating 5 out of 5]

A collection of essays about all the things Candice wishes someone had talked to her about when she was a young black girl growing up in London.

These essays are written in Candice’s trademark style, full of humour and vibrancy but unafraid to be totally honest and upfront. They are easy to read and digest and feel like speaking with a friend. At times they are uncomfortable and confronting however she is so passionate about the topics that you are fully swept along.

As a white woman there was so much of this that was relatable, however I definitely learnt a lot about black women’s experiences. Particularly around colourism and its impact upon dark skinned black women. This is not something I have read much about so it was great to read this in such an open way. Candice talks bravely throughout the ten topics and they are a joy to read.

I loved this and I Am Not Your Baby Mother and would read Candice’s shopping lists as I love her writing style so much!

[El · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book wasn't written for me, obviously, with me being white. That being said, I do think that there were elements that aligned with my own experiences, that were worth me thinking about. Some of the advice and the thoughts were broad enough that I could take things on board. The parts that weren't were also extremely helpful to me. Understanding certain aspects of life that I take for granted as a white person - like finances in certain circumstances - through the lens of personal stories from a black woman taught me several new things.

Beyond anything like that, anything that I took for me, it was really touching and heartening to read someone opening up so closely about their life, and the things that they've learnt. This was a really thoughtful essay collection.

[Jane · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve followed Candice Braithwaite on Instagram for a while and was intrigued by this book, which I ended up reading as part of my book group. I’m so glad it didn’t pass me by! It was a fascinating read, and full of insight. The subtitle, ‘things I learned the hard way so you don’t have to’ sets the right expectations, although it isn’t a self-help book of the smug variety at all. It’s a candid, well-composed and refreshing memoir which does impart some tips along the way, dealing with tough issues including family, colourism and financial challenges in addition to an upbeat and philosophical reflection on the meaning of friendship. I would recommend this to anyone – open your mind and Candice will open your eyes!

[Rachel Matthews · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read and loved I Am Not Your Baby Mother by Candice and so was very excited to read this, her follow up. While I didn't love this quite as much as I Am Not Your Baby Mother, it did not disappoint and gave me lots to think about.

The book is divided into 10 key lessons from Candice's life that she shares with the reader. These lessons cover a number of topics including love, colourism, hair and family. Much like her earlier work, Candice is open and honest sharing the mistakes that she made in the hopes that it will save others from making similar mistakes. I felt the book was primarily written for black women but there is much here for anyone to learn from since there are things in life that are universal to us all regardless of race or gender.

My only slight niggle with the book is that it felt a little thin. I would have liked more meat on the bone as some of the topics were really interesting. Still on the plus side, hopefully it leaves the route open for Candice to share more life lessons. I am willing to learn whatever she has to teach me.

[ASDerban · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love to listen to authors read their own books because I enjoy hearing their work as they meant it to sound. Candice does not disappoint. She writes thoughtfully with wisdom and her use of words is masterful. She reads with nuance and emotion. She seems to have gathered the life experience and reflectiveness of a person twice her age, and comes across as an old soul. I don't hold the same views she does about everything she discusses, but I appreciate her honesty and openness in sharing the things that are important to her. She's very generous in that way, and I think many young black women will find her insights helpful. I'm so glad I found her writing.

[Naomi Bennett · Rating 3 out of 5]

Upon reading this book, I was quickly aware that I was already privy to many of the lessons Candice wanted to share. I wouldn't explicitly say this is a criticism. Perhaps, I am just getting older! Though I had hoped to be more illuminated throughout, the last few chapters were more informative for me, as she explored complex topics from her older life including death and the harsh realities of dating as a darkskinned black woman in this UK (a topic which I rarely if ever see brought to print!!).

The book really soared when sharing the details and characters of Candice's life and she had an illustrative way with words which I enjoyed.

[KaelsyWrites · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a great book! There were many parts that resonated with me and some of the similarities between us made me smile!

The tone is personable and refreshing, and very much gives an authentic, UK black woman vibe.
I really do feel like it's a book that speaks to black women specifically, so I'd be interested to hear how it was received by other groups.

In essence, I have some good nuggets of advice to take away and I especially appreciated the notes on manifesting and crystals. It really was a timely book for me.

[Jade Wargate · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sista Sister by Candice Brathwaite. This is Brathwaite‘s much awaited second book about all the things she wishes she‘d been told when she was young and needed guidance.

Sista Sister is a compilation of essays about all the things Candice wishes someone had talked to her about when she was a young Black girl growing up in London. From family and money to Black hair and fashion, as well as sex and friendships between people of different races. This book was very informative and a fascinating read.

[Onyeka · Rating 5 out of 5]

Candice Braithwaite absolutely smashed it with this collection of essays. The advice we wish we heard in our youth about everything from self-love to hair, money and friendship. My goodness, I longed for the day to roll-by until night so that I could indulge in yet another chapter of this gem.

Candice's writing style is so fluid; her anecdotes so punchy; and her diction so elevated. I loved this book and now want to buy it for absolutely everybody!

[Adelyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a black-british woman this has been the most affirming book I have ever read particularly her chapter on grief and self love which are so open and honest. I was also impacted by the chapter on hair where often negative experiences are not talked about even as a young woman in 2010's the experiences have remained the same it felt as if someone could finally see my experience and put words to paper. I would 100% reccomend this to anyone in their 20's.