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The Listening Road: One Man's Ride Across America to Start Conversations About God
Do you wish you knew how to talk to people about life’s deepest and most sensitive topics? In The Listening Road, you’ll ride along on one man's remarkable 33-day journey cycling 3,000 miles across the United States on a mission to engage with people from all walks of life in real conversations about things that matter most.
As a pastor, Neil Tomba noticed a disturbing trend among people in church: they were finding it increasingly difficult to talk about God to those outside of the church. Neil wanted to practice what he preached, so he set out to bike across the United States, talking—and, more importantly, listening—to strangers from all walks of life about faith, their stories, and matters of the heart.
The Listening Road takes you on Neil’s remarkable journey across the country and straight into its soul—from Route 66 motels to state parks, a lake house, and a railway car; from conversations with Amish farmers to chats with truckers, cowboys, mechanics, and a descendant of Daniel Boone. From one city, farm, and highway to the next, we discover practical, actionable ways to change our posture toward others to foster conversation, why curiosity, kindness, and respect open up communication about God, and how even in a culture of division and antagonism, real connection is possible.
In our polarizing time, Neil models with compassion and curiosity that genuine connection happens only if we are willing to listen in love.
As a pastor, Neil Tomba noticed a disturbing trend among people in church: they were finding it increasingly difficult to talk about God to those outside of the church. Neil wanted to practice what he preached, so he set out to bike across the United States, talking—and, more importantly, listening—to strangers from all walks of life about faith, their stories, and matters of the heart.
The Listening Road takes you on Neil’s remarkable journey across the country and straight into its soul—from Route 66 motels to state parks, a lake house, and a railway car; from conversations with Amish farmers to chats with truckers, cowboys, mechanics, and a descendant of Daniel Boone. From one city, farm, and highway to the next, we discover practical, actionable ways to change our posture toward others to foster conversation, why curiosity, kindness, and respect open up communication about God, and how even in a culture of division and antagonism, real connection is possible.
In our polarizing time, Neil models with compassion and curiosity that genuine connection happens only if we are willing to listen in love.
320 pages, Hardcover
Published June 1, 2021
16 people are currently reading
2376 people want to read
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June 9, 2021
In the early pages of Neil Tomba's "The Listening Road: One Man's Ride Across America to Start Conversations About God," you'd be hard-pressed to realize that Tomba is the senior pastor of Dallas's Northwest Bible Church, a congregation established in 1951 that Tomba has served as senior pastor for the past 20+ years.
It's not that Tomba doesn't come off as pastoral. He certainly does. It's that Tomba's writing possesses a normalcy and humility that is rare among evangelical writers and certainly evangelical pastors.
Of course, there's no hiding the pastoral roots that serve as the foundation of "The Listening Road," a chronicle of Tomba's 33 days wheeling across America with a team of friends and family having what he often refers to as "deeper" conversations that are, essentially, conversations about God.
"The Listening Road" isn't about Tomba as a fundraiser. There wasn't a fundraising aspect to this trip. It's not about Tomba's role as an activist - the only true "cause" here is Jesus and the only real reason for this trip was to have deeper conversations and even deeper listening.
To his credit, and admittedly to my surprise, Tomba never really defines his theology in "The Listening Road" despite having conversation after conversation about God. At times, Tomba openly confesses having had to bite his tongue as people would say things that would trigger his own defense of God, of Jesus, of Scripture, and of his life of faith. It was only after finally looking up Northwest Bible Church that I began to get a glimpse at Tomba's own faith journey and evangelical beliefs. A graduate of Dallas Theological Seminary, Tomba leads a rather large church (this admittedly also surprised me) with a wide variety of ministries and a strong commitment to community.
This trip started partly out of Tomba's own 18-year vision for making such a trip and was truly inspired by Tomba's increasing awareness that people were having trouble with conversations about God when outside the church walls AND because of the growing disconnection and conflicts that seemingly far too often define our relationships with those whom we disagree.
"The Listening Road" is about those conversations that Tomba and his team had while they were on the road. They often biked 100+ miles daily while never passing up the opportunity to have conversations, some expected and some definitely not, along the way.
While one might think that an evangelical pastor would inevitably turn preachy along the way, Tomba surrendered to listening even during those times when he found himself disagreeing and even when the pastor in him wanted to "prove" a point.
In other words, Tomba is for the most part a breath of fresh air. "The Listening Road" gives us the richly human Tomba, a man who has bad days, makes bad decisions, occasionally causes the tension he's trying to teach against, gets hurt, gets hurt again, sometimes comes off as more judgmental than I think he likely realizes, but surrenders himself to this wonderful concept of listening to people along the road whether they're like him or a polar opposite.
He has heart-wrenching experiences.
He has maddening experiences.
He has funny experiences.
He has humbling experiences.
He projects a pastoral presence and people respond to his quiet presence by revealing themselves to him (and others in his team) along the way.
I never less than enjoyed "The Listening Road," though admittedly at nearly 300 pages in length the stories at times became a bit redundant as did Tomba's response to his experiences. There is very little structural variation in "The Listening Road" - this is, quite simply, a vivid and engaging accounting of Tomba's 33 days on the road including the road experiences and those treasured conversations.
There are moments in "The Listening Road" when it feels like Tomba's holding back. This is, perhaps, a direct result of the fact that on some level by choosing to primarily listen Tomba really did hold back parts of himself in these conversations. Would these conversations have worked as well with another approach? Probably not. But, there's still that sense at times of wishing I could more emotionally connect with Tomba's experience.
Tomba is also quick to give space to those with whom he traveled. We become fond of people like Caroline and Wes and Tomba's own wife Vela among others. While I admittedly wanted a little bit more about their own experiences with conversations, Tomba is remarkably quick to share their experiences on the road and you can get a sense that this entire road trip completely changed their relationships in profound ways.
As a wheelchair user who has done my own long-distance events up to and including a 41-day, 1086 mile trip traveling alone in my wheelchair, I found myself resonating with many of Tomba's experiences throughout the book including his rather profound observations as the trip wound down. I've often said that when you travel at 2-3 miles per hour (my speed in a wheelchair), you say "hi!" to everyone and there's no one you can get away from. In many ways, this is Tomba's experience - being on the road in such a profound ways seemingly caused him to experience God in a most vulnerable way and the same ended up being true for his teammates and all they encountered.
"The Longest Road" won't likely resonate with everyone and certainly not with those uncomfortable with Tomba's central mission of very outwardly having conversations about God, discussing religion, talking about religion, and sometimes (frequently) shutting up and listening.
If I lived in Dallas, I have a feeling I'd embrace Tomba as a senior pastor and this community of faith that seemed to support this wild mission. However, for those who've ever engaged in late night conversations about deeper matters or who've ever had just the perfect experiencing of talking or listening, "The Listening Road" is practically a must-read. As someone who spent 30 years of my life traveling by wheelchair (just ending my event last year), I was engaged, challenged, inspired, and even entertained. I wanted to get to know Tomba, his team, and even some of the folks he met along the way.
In the end, at least for me, the lesson was that the perfect way to truly start deeper conversations about life and God is to actually simply listen.
It's not that Tomba doesn't come off as pastoral. He certainly does. It's that Tomba's writing possesses a normalcy and humility that is rare among evangelical writers and certainly evangelical pastors.
Of course, there's no hiding the pastoral roots that serve as the foundation of "The Listening Road," a chronicle of Tomba's 33 days wheeling across America with a team of friends and family having what he often refers to as "deeper" conversations that are, essentially, conversations about God.
"The Listening Road" isn't about Tomba as a fundraiser. There wasn't a fundraising aspect to this trip. It's not about Tomba's role as an activist - the only true "cause" here is Jesus and the only real reason for this trip was to have deeper conversations and even deeper listening.
To his credit, and admittedly to my surprise, Tomba never really defines his theology in "The Listening Road" despite having conversation after conversation about God. At times, Tomba openly confesses having had to bite his tongue as people would say things that would trigger his own defense of God, of Jesus, of Scripture, and of his life of faith. It was only after finally looking up Northwest Bible Church that I began to get a glimpse at Tomba's own faith journey and evangelical beliefs. A graduate of Dallas Theological Seminary, Tomba leads a rather large church (this admittedly also surprised me) with a wide variety of ministries and a strong commitment to community.
This trip started partly out of Tomba's own 18-year vision for making such a trip and was truly inspired by Tomba's increasing awareness that people were having trouble with conversations about God when outside the church walls AND because of the growing disconnection and conflicts that seemingly far too often define our relationships with those whom we disagree.
"The Listening Road" is about those conversations that Tomba and his team had while they were on the road. They often biked 100+ miles daily while never passing up the opportunity to have conversations, some expected and some definitely not, along the way.
While one might think that an evangelical pastor would inevitably turn preachy along the way, Tomba surrendered to listening even during those times when he found himself disagreeing and even when the pastor in him wanted to "prove" a point.
In other words, Tomba is for the most part a breath of fresh air. "The Listening Road" gives us the richly human Tomba, a man who has bad days, makes bad decisions, occasionally causes the tension he's trying to teach against, gets hurt, gets hurt again, sometimes comes off as more judgmental than I think he likely realizes, but surrenders himself to this wonderful concept of listening to people along the road whether they're like him or a polar opposite.
He has heart-wrenching experiences.
He has maddening experiences.
He has funny experiences.
He has humbling experiences.
He projects a pastoral presence and people respond to his quiet presence by revealing themselves to him (and others in his team) along the way.
I never less than enjoyed "The Listening Road," though admittedly at nearly 300 pages in length the stories at times became a bit redundant as did Tomba's response to his experiences. There is very little structural variation in "The Listening Road" - this is, quite simply, a vivid and engaging accounting of Tomba's 33 days on the road including the road experiences and those treasured conversations.
There are moments in "The Listening Road" when it feels like Tomba's holding back. This is, perhaps, a direct result of the fact that on some level by choosing to primarily listen Tomba really did hold back parts of himself in these conversations. Would these conversations have worked as well with another approach? Probably not. But, there's still that sense at times of wishing I could more emotionally connect with Tomba's experience.
Tomba is also quick to give space to those with whom he traveled. We become fond of people like Caroline and Wes and Tomba's own wife Vela among others. While I admittedly wanted a little bit more about their own experiences with conversations, Tomba is remarkably quick to share their experiences on the road and you can get a sense that this entire road trip completely changed their relationships in profound ways.
As a wheelchair user who has done my own long-distance events up to and including a 41-day, 1086 mile trip traveling alone in my wheelchair, I found myself resonating with many of Tomba's experiences throughout the book including his rather profound observations as the trip wound down. I've often said that when you travel at 2-3 miles per hour (my speed in a wheelchair), you say "hi!" to everyone and there's no one you can get away from. In many ways, this is Tomba's experience - being on the road in such a profound ways seemingly caused him to experience God in a most vulnerable way and the same ended up being true for his teammates and all they encountered.
"The Longest Road" won't likely resonate with everyone and certainly not with those uncomfortable with Tomba's central mission of very outwardly having conversations about God, discussing religion, talking about religion, and sometimes (frequently) shutting up and listening.
If I lived in Dallas, I have a feeling I'd embrace Tomba as a senior pastor and this community of faith that seemed to support this wild mission. However, for those who've ever engaged in late night conversations about deeper matters or who've ever had just the perfect experiencing of talking or listening, "The Listening Road" is practically a must-read. As someone who spent 30 years of my life traveling by wheelchair (just ending my event last year), I was engaged, challenged, inspired, and even entertained. I wanted to get to know Tomba, his team, and even some of the folks he met along the way.
In the end, at least for me, the lesson was that the perfect way to truly start deeper conversations about life and God is to actually simply listen.
November 25, 2021
Neil Tomba sets off on a bike across America with the purpose of starting conversations about God.
Tomba is a pastor in a church near Dallas who is dismayed with the divisiveness, the bitterness, the acrimony he sees and hears in America today, and he hopes to do something about it by encouraging others to share their thoughts and feelings and stories and by listening intently, without judgment and with little comment, when they do.
His 3,000 mile bike ride is a great success. He has conversations with many people, with diverse beliefs and opinions and experiences. Tomba finds a new acceptance of the importance of listening to others over talking to others, of the importance of allowing God to lead rather than trying to control situations.
I’m inspired to make my walk during these last years of my life down a listening road, to follow where God leads rather than striking off on my own path. Thank you, Neil Tomba.
Tomba is a pastor in a church near Dallas who is dismayed with the divisiveness, the bitterness, the acrimony he sees and hears in America today, and he hopes to do something about it by encouraging others to share their thoughts and feelings and stories and by listening intently, without judgment and with little comment, when they do.
His 3,000 mile bike ride is a great success. He has conversations with many people, with diverse beliefs and opinions and experiences. Tomba finds a new acceptance of the importance of listening to others over talking to others, of the importance of allowing God to lead rather than trying to control situations.
I’m inspired to make my walk during these last years of my life down a listening road, to follow where God leads rather than striking off on my own path. Thank you, Neil Tomba.
November 17, 2024
Reading this book just after the election, amidst news cycles that bring so much division to light, I was reminded that there is still so much good and so much hope and that in listening we can really find more commonality with each other than we think. A truly inspiring read at exactly the time I needed it.
July 10, 2021
This really was an insightful and encouraging read!
We do indeed live in a contentious world, where civil discourse and conversations seem increasingly hard to find. I loved Tomba's goal to challenge that status quo via a cross-country bike ride.
Much of the journey, and the book, is admirable. I love bike riding on vacation, and can't say I'd pursue a trek like this, so got to live vicariously through Tomba--happily so, especially with all the physical challenges I only had to read about!
I also appreciated how he showed restraint in conversations, trying to practice what he preached. I will say, two conversations in particular (and his post-convo reactions, as shared in the book anyway) were a little disappointing. I wanted more on _why_ he reacted that way, and his in-book reticence and lack of sharing his own beliefs--while in line with the very motives and conversations he had--just left me feeling a underwhelmed. Further, near the end of the book I found myself about as ready as he was to hit the finish line!
Still, a worthy read and excellent example of simply having conversations with people, many of whose opinions and faiths differed widely from his own. I particularly appreciated how the read illustrated 1 Corinthians 3:6-8: "I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The man who plants and the man who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor." (NIV)
4/5 stars.
I received an eARC of the book from the publisher via NetGalley. All opinions are my own.
We do indeed live in a contentious world, where civil discourse and conversations seem increasingly hard to find. I loved Tomba's goal to challenge that status quo via a cross-country bike ride.
Much of the journey, and the book, is admirable. I love bike riding on vacation, and can't say I'd pursue a trek like this, so got to live vicariously through Tomba--happily so, especially with all the physical challenges I only had to read about!
I also appreciated how he showed restraint in conversations, trying to practice what he preached. I will say, two conversations in particular (and his post-convo reactions, as shared in the book anyway) were a little disappointing. I wanted more on _why_ he reacted that way, and his in-book reticence and lack of sharing his own beliefs--while in line with the very motives and conversations he had--just left me feeling a underwhelmed. Further, near the end of the book I found myself about as ready as he was to hit the finish line!
Still, a worthy read and excellent example of simply having conversations with people, many of whose opinions and faiths differed widely from his own. I particularly appreciated how the read illustrated 1 Corinthians 3:6-8: "I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The man who plants and the man who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor." (NIV)
4/5 stars.
I received an eARC of the book from the publisher via NetGalley. All opinions are my own.
May 26, 2021
Thank you to Neil Tomba for sending me a free advanced copy.
Neil is my pastor at @NorthwestBible, and as with any book where I know the author or have high expectations, I went in nervous about what I would find in these pages. But I had no cause for concern. This book is a vulnerable look at the journey Neil took in cycling 3000 miles across the country in 33 days. The ride was not easy, but he set out with a mission of having conversations about Jesus with people from all walks of life, and the way he handled himself in those conversations is something we thankfully get to learn from in this book.
From the pulpit Neil cast a vision that, "by 2026, we will be having thousands of surprisingly easy-to-start conversations about Jesus all over our city because we are convinced, where God has us is where Jesus is." He went on this trip to show us what those conversations can look like. And it boils down to listening to people and meeting them where they are. God showed up in big ways for Neil on this trip and I loved reading about how God provided physically, mentally, and spiritually along the way.
This book has applicable knowledge, takes you along the cross country ride, and surprisingly will make you very hungry for diner food.
Neil is my pastor at @NorthwestBible, and as with any book where I know the author or have high expectations, I went in nervous about what I would find in these pages. But I had no cause for concern. This book is a vulnerable look at the journey Neil took in cycling 3000 miles across the country in 33 days. The ride was not easy, but he set out with a mission of having conversations about Jesus with people from all walks of life, and the way he handled himself in those conversations is something we thankfully get to learn from in this book.
From the pulpit Neil cast a vision that, "by 2026, we will be having thousands of surprisingly easy-to-start conversations about Jesus all over our city because we are convinced, where God has us is where Jesus is." He went on this trip to show us what those conversations can look like. And it boils down to listening to people and meeting them where they are. God showed up in big ways for Neil on this trip and I loved reading about how God provided physically, mentally, and spiritually along the way.
This book has applicable knowledge, takes you along the cross country ride, and surprisingly will make you very hungry for diner food.
June 6, 2021
At first, I would like to thank @Netgalley and Nelsonbooks for allowing me to review this book. Keep in mind that my review, however, is my true opinion on this book.
“The listening road” is a book about conversations about all of the questions in life. How do you have conversations with other people that can be hard, even with people you do not know? In the book, Neil Tomba addresses this. He took a trip across the United States of America on his bicycle. It took thirty-three days, and it was a full month of inspiring conversations, which you can now read about in this book. This is by the way a true story!
On the trip, and in this book, Neil Tomba talks to a lot of different people with different backgrounds and very different stories. They all have a different approach to life, and it is interesting to hear how they all find a way to have a good life.
The authenticity in this book is on point, and you can tell that these are true stories! The book is easy to read, the language is approachable, and the topic is for all of us to understand and learn from.
This book might inspire you to have some difficult conversations with those you know, or like Neil Tomba, with strangers.
The key to a good, but difficult conversation is all about curiosity, kindness, and respect!
“The listening road” is a book about conversations about all of the questions in life. How do you have conversations with other people that can be hard, even with people you do not know? In the book, Neil Tomba addresses this. He took a trip across the United States of America on his bicycle. It took thirty-three days, and it was a full month of inspiring conversations, which you can now read about in this book. This is by the way a true story!
On the trip, and in this book, Neil Tomba talks to a lot of different people with different backgrounds and very different stories. They all have a different approach to life, and it is interesting to hear how they all find a way to have a good life.
The authenticity in this book is on point, and you can tell that these are true stories! The book is easy to read, the language is approachable, and the topic is for all of us to understand and learn from.
This book might inspire you to have some difficult conversations with those you know, or like Neil Tomba, with strangers.
The key to a good, but difficult conversation is all about curiosity, kindness, and respect!
March 24, 2022
Listening to this book was very uplifting. So nice to hear about people's struggles, yet in the midst of anguish, finding hope through faith in God. I applaud this amazing effort to cross the country while pursuing a personal goal of riding his bike, while talking to people - which gave the trip a promotional edge. A lot of the book was spent in rural small-town USA. The author was able to get into interesting and honest conversations, yet I can't help but wonder if he would've received the same warm welcome in large cities. In fact, I'm sure he wouldn't have.. Probably in a city, conversations would have steered clear of anything spiritual, and I don't think people would've taken the time to stop and help or listen. Such an interesting and tragic divide in our country today. So many people from the cities are now moving out into rural areas after covid, and I can only hope that they will adopt the kindness that has typically resided there. I grew up in a small town where my neighbors left their key in the car and said we could borrow it anytime we needed. I would love to see more of that in our society today.
I loved the five tips offered at the end of the audio version, which may not have been in the book:
1. Be curious
2. Ask another question
3. Look for places to agree
4. See Jesus in the people you're talking with
5. Get fluent in talking about Jesus
I loved the five tips offered at the end of the audio version, which may not have been in the book:
1. Be curious
2. Ask another question
3. Look for places to agree
4. See Jesus in the people you're talking with
5. Get fluent in talking about Jesus
May 23, 2023
In this book, Pastor Neil Tomba shares his experiences listening to people’s stories with honesty and humility and learns what it means to trust the Holy Spirit to work in their lives during an epic bike ride across the country. He shares what he is for rather than what he is against, but only when there is an opportunity in the conversation. He provides a good example to us all of what interacting with people in our communities and sharing the love of Jesus can look like. I really enjoyed this book.
Homeschool note: Introduces the reader to many different worldviews across America. Adding to worldview studies curriculum, senior year. Would be great for sociology, too.
Homeschool note: Introduces the reader to many different worldviews across America. Adding to worldview studies curriculum, senior year. Would be great for sociology, too.
November 3, 2021
3.5 stars overall
A good story about a man’s journey riding his bike all across America engaging in conversations along the way. The book fell into a familiar pattern with every chapter having the same flow. In a way, the book felt forced, although some of the stories were interesting. Overall, interesting stories but I was not fully engaged the entire read because of the pattern it fell into.
Thank you to HarperCollins Christian Publishing for the ARC.
A good story about a man’s journey riding his bike all across America engaging in conversations along the way. The book fell into a familiar pattern with every chapter having the same flow. In a way, the book felt forced, although some of the stories were interesting. Overall, interesting stories but I was not fully engaged the entire read because of the pattern it fell into.
Thank you to HarperCollins Christian Publishing for the ARC.
July 26, 2021
Neil Tomba is a pastor who finally realized a dream he’d had for 18 years: to bike across America having conversations about faith and Jesus with whomever was interested. His dream felt impossible with so my difficult logistics to work out, but friends and family caught the vision and helped plan and organize the details.
The purpose of the trip was to hold meaningful conversation, to value other people’s views on faith, to heal the deep divides America is experiencing with differences of opinion in the social, political and religious spheres, and to share the hope found in Jesus.
The 33 day journey was grueling at times, with downpours, hail, flat tires, locked gears, saddle sores, hunger and thirst, extreme fatigue, minor injuries, etc., but it was all worth it to love others and talk with whomever God brought across his path. The book documents who he met and the conversations they had, as well as the lessons Pastor Tomba learned as he went. He shares the thoughts he had and the prayers he offered up to God for guidance and God’s answers to those prayers.
In one particularly poignant conversation pastor Tomba had with a man named Bill, Bill said, “Somehow we have failed to teach the young people in this country that America was never designed as a place to win the argument. It was designed as a place for the argument to go on perpetually - and hopefully in a civil way, by developing consensus but not unanimity. The minute somebody wins the argument, you’ve established a tyranny.. These days, unfortunately, everybody’s lined up on opposite sides. They’re only committed to victory for their ideology, to defeating the other side. But that’s the antithesis of what we need in America today… America is the place to hold a debate. It’s not the place to win it.“
Some of the things Pastor Tomba realized:
1. More people are open to conversation than he thought.
2. Conversations are better when the focus isn’t on getting a result. It’s better to listen first and if there is an opportunity, to plant a seed and release others to God, trusting God’s work and timing in their lives.
3. We need others to support us when things get difficult.
4. We accomplish more when we work together.
5. Much division in this world is tied to fears.
6. It’s more important to listen than to speak, but it’s also important to ask open ended questions without expectations.
7. Being in community with people is hard, but also worth it.
I give this book a 4 star rating. It was a fun, worthwhile read. I appreciate the purpose behind Pastor Tomba’s trip, the bridges he wanted to build and the stereotypes he wanted to take down. He accomplished that and we get to observe and learn from his experiences as well. Hopefully we can all make similar efforts to listen to each other and help be the change this country needs.
I received an arc copy from Netgalley and the publisher in exchange for my honest opinion.
The purpose of the trip was to hold meaningful conversation, to value other people’s views on faith, to heal the deep divides America is experiencing with differences of opinion in the social, political and religious spheres, and to share the hope found in Jesus.
The 33 day journey was grueling at times, with downpours, hail, flat tires, locked gears, saddle sores, hunger and thirst, extreme fatigue, minor injuries, etc., but it was all worth it to love others and talk with whomever God brought across his path. The book documents who he met and the conversations they had, as well as the lessons Pastor Tomba learned as he went. He shares the thoughts he had and the prayers he offered up to God for guidance and God’s answers to those prayers.
In one particularly poignant conversation pastor Tomba had with a man named Bill, Bill said, “Somehow we have failed to teach the young people in this country that America was never designed as a place to win the argument. It was designed as a place for the argument to go on perpetually - and hopefully in a civil way, by developing consensus but not unanimity. The minute somebody wins the argument, you’ve established a tyranny.. These days, unfortunately, everybody’s lined up on opposite sides. They’re only committed to victory for their ideology, to defeating the other side. But that’s the antithesis of what we need in America today… America is the place to hold a debate. It’s not the place to win it.“
Some of the things Pastor Tomba realized:
1. More people are open to conversation than he thought.
2. Conversations are better when the focus isn’t on getting a result. It’s better to listen first and if there is an opportunity, to plant a seed and release others to God, trusting God’s work and timing in their lives.
3. We need others to support us when things get difficult.
4. We accomplish more when we work together.
5. Much division in this world is tied to fears.
6. It’s more important to listen than to speak, but it’s also important to ask open ended questions without expectations.
7. Being in community with people is hard, but also worth it.
I give this book a 4 star rating. It was a fun, worthwhile read. I appreciate the purpose behind Pastor Tomba’s trip, the bridges he wanted to build and the stereotypes he wanted to take down. He accomplished that and we get to observe and learn from his experiences as well. Hopefully we can all make similar efforts to listen to each other and help be the change this country needs.
I received an arc copy from Netgalley and the publisher in exchange for my honest opinion.
July 5, 2021
Is it possible to talk to people about faith, life, and deep or sensitive topics? In The Listening Road, a group of people, including pastor Neil Tomba, bicycle for 33 days across the U.S. to engage in intentional conversations with hundreds of people.
With honesty, Neil shares a journal of almost every day on the road. He discusses the ups and downs of the trip, including fear that he wouldn’t meet any people on a given day, wanting to quit multiple times, and intense pain and serious injuries. I appreciated that he didn’t sugarcoat his doubts and concerns or the relationship challenges but was honest about the lows of the physical, social and faith journey.
The book also offers snippets from dozens of conversations as the team made connections with people of all ages and faiths. As the intro says, this book is indeed for people everywhere who long for deeper conversations. The idea is a practical way we can change our posture toward others and listen from a place of service rather than preaching. The team strove to listen to stories in a way that made people feel respected, heard and valued. Not all the conversations were “deep,” but all conversations can be meaningful to participants.
I appreciated that this book included biblical stories but wasn’t preachy. It inspired me to keep telling my story but mostly to listen to the stories of others!
With honesty, Neil shares a journal of almost every day on the road. He discusses the ups and downs of the trip, including fear that he wouldn’t meet any people on a given day, wanting to quit multiple times, and intense pain and serious injuries. I appreciated that he didn’t sugarcoat his doubts and concerns or the relationship challenges but was honest about the lows of the physical, social and faith journey.
The book also offers snippets from dozens of conversations as the team made connections with people of all ages and faiths. As the intro says, this book is indeed for people everywhere who long for deeper conversations. The idea is a practical way we can change our posture toward others and listen from a place of service rather than preaching. The team strove to listen to stories in a way that made people feel respected, heard and valued. Not all the conversations were “deep,” but all conversations can be meaningful to participants.
I appreciated that this book included biblical stories but wasn’t preachy. It inspired me to keep telling my story but mostly to listen to the stories of others!
June 26, 2022
This was a nice book. A quick little read with short chapters and each chapter made up of short vignettes. It was engaging enough, but I can't say I liked it. In describing his ride across the country and various conversations he has, the author quickly slides into a very repetitive groove. Quite frankly, I found myself getting annoyed with the author. Most of the descriptions of the ride itself center on complaining - it's hot, it's windy, it's uphill, they sleep in a different place every night, etc. I've learned way more about the crew's digestive and other medical maladies than I ever needed to know. A lot of the conversations seemed to be repeats of the ones before. The author says his goal is to prove that people who don't see eye to eye can have a respectful conversation despite their differences, but he mostly just listens while others talk at him. He rarely seems to share his own views and beliefs unless the person he is talking to agrees with those beliefs. So I don't really know that he's proven anything, other than that if you don't disagree with what somebody else is saying, they won't argue with you about your beliefs. The conversations just seemed to be full of fluff and overly staged. Overall, it was a quick read and not terrible, but I can't say I'd strongly recommend it.
February 20, 2025
The idea behind this book is awesome! To be able to go out and have deep conversations with complete strangers and hear about their lives and the things that they experience sounds like such a cool experience. I found that reading this book made it difficult to understand the magnitude and depth of these conversations. The author made a documentary of his trip and the conversations that he had and watching the documentary made the conversations come alive much more than the book did. I did find many of his words to others very cheesy. In some ways it almost sounded unbelievable that he could talk to others that way and keep them engaged in the conversation. I thought maybe it was just the way the book was coming across but when I watched the documentary, he really did talk that way to people. For example he would say “Hey can I tell you something really cool? I really appreciate you and your wife and your marriage.” I just find comments like that very disingenuous when you don’t know a person but he somehow made it work and people continued talking to him. I do like how he listened to others and heard their stories but the book did not show how many times he tried interrupting someone during their conversation. The documentary showed this much clearer. I would recommend watching the documentary after reading the book to get more of the full picture of the trip.
January 28, 2022
I loved the concept of a great adventure, pushing yourself to your limits and beyond while meeting people and learning about their lives and faith journeys. I enjoy the way Neil is not afraid to expose his doubts, crankiness and weak moments throughout his cross country trip. I also wondered as he did in his book how different his conversations about faith would have been if he had been riding in the North or through larger cities. I liked how he did not lead with the fact that he is a pastor and did not preach to the people that he met. So many people are turned off by too much Bible quoting, but are open to the example that good Christians bring through their daily example of kindness and inclusiveness. I received a free copy of this book and am voluntarily reviewing it.
January 11, 2023
I really appreciated the concept of this man’s goal - to ride his bike across America and engage in meaningful conversations with strangers. As an introvert, I was in awe of this, his fortitude and physical endurance to complete this task. The stories were fascinating and several themes did start to emerge. They were themes I struggled with as a Christian because my tendency would be to argue or want to clarify someone’s understanding of what constitutes faith or salvation. I need to heed his message of being curious but not judgmental. I was saddened by the number of stories of people hurt by the church. Overall it left me with plenty to think about and process in my own walk and ways of engaging others.
July 4, 2021
The Listening Road by Neil Tomba is a beautiful, inspiring story of the journey of Pastor Neil biking through USA in 33 days trying to connect with people on the road and have deep conversations. I really enjoy every story and conversation Neil shares in the book. I think he talks and connects with people with so much love and wisdom, without judging, looking down or criticizing the choices people made in their life, he truly show genuine interest in people lifes even during a very short and casual conversation. For me it's amazing how people can just open up to him.
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January 3, 2022Inspiring
I could not put this book down beginning from the moment I began reading the preview. Actually, I didn't even finish the preview before making the decision to buy it. I instantly downloaded the Kindle version and kept reading. I appreciated Neil's respectful conversations with people about such a personal and divisive subject as faith. He taught me a lot about how to truly listen to other people with respectful curiosity. I have been recommending this book to all my friends and family, and I encourage everyone else to read it, too.
I could not put this book down beginning from the moment I began reading the preview. Actually, I didn't even finish the preview before making the decision to buy it. I instantly downloaded the Kindle version and kept reading. I appreciated Neil's respectful conversations with people about such a personal and divisive subject as faith. He taught me a lot about how to truly listen to other people with respectful curiosity. I have been recommending this book to all my friends and family, and I encourage everyone else to read it, too.
June 9, 2021
If you’re looking for a great read I highly recommend The Listening Road by my friend and former pastor Neil Tomba. Neil did the incredible feat of cycling across the country from ocean to ocean with the intent of having meaningful conversations about deep topics along the way. The stories of the individuals he meets are just as powerful if not more so than the feat itself. I was captivated, and I know you will be too!
August 18, 2021
Well-written, interesting memoir. This book shows all that is involved in a long bicycle ride across the country or across a few states. Lots of tips and warnings here. Also, we are listening in to the many conversations the author had with people he met along the way. What do people think about God? I am impressed that there is no confrontation of "You're going to hell". The author is a good listener.
January 5, 2022
I enjoyed this for the overall message, but would've liked to hear more detail in the stories and how Neil felt about them. The book seemed a little sterile in the storytelling part. As someone that works within a ministry that promotes the power of storytelling and how sharing your story can benefit others and community, the message of listening vs talking and how to build better community through that simple act (change of focus really) spoke to me greatly.
June 11, 2022
This book was not smooth to read. I sometimes flew through a chapter and then slugged through the next two or three chapters. The narrator was honest with the reader when he said he could not listen the same to most of the people he tried to start-up conversations. As a reader I wished that the narrator had done a little more background story of each person he included in this book. I finished the book, but it was a struggle.
June 26, 2022
I was frustrated for the first few chapters that the author kept missing opportunities to proclaim the gospel on his transcontinental bike ride. It gradually gelled, though, that the prayerful context of these encounters was more to listen than to tell - to learn people’s motivations and fears, to trigger rumination and the possibility of further conversations. By no means a rejection of evangelism, this book was powerful reminder of the “gentleness and respect” admonition in 1 Peter 1:15.
July 25, 2021
I never dreamed the "hardship" that a person would go through to ride cross country on a bicycle. He and his team were well trained and ready for the long haul but it really took a toll on him especially.
Reading his stories of the people he met and talked with was amazing...sad at times, a little disturbing at others but also full of hope and goodness. Well worth the read.
Reading his stories of the people he met and talked with was amazing...sad at times, a little disturbing at others but also full of hope and goodness. Well worth the read.
August 30, 2021
Thank you for the giveaway. I enjoyed reading about Neil Tomba and his team’s bike ride across America to engage people in conversations. I admired the way he shared all the ups and downs of the journey. Although I will never make such a trip myself, reading about Neil’s encouraged me to invite more conversations right where I am. Shortly after finishing the book, I had a fascinating and deep conversation with an artist at a coffee shop that I might not have had otherwise.
September 26, 2021
I liked the first 283 pages well enough, but pages 284-285 absolutely ruined it. For a pastor in the Bible belt of Texas to not only ascribe to the cancer of marxist Critical Race Theory but also to include it in this book to lead others astray is inexcusable. I question everything else in the previous pages now.
October 5, 2021
What a joy to hear Neil share his experience engaging others in conversation as he biked across America. A great reminder of our shared humanity filled with hopes and disappointments, joys and sorrows. Neil models how a question and a smile can lead to significant conversations about things that matter most, bridge divides, and offer hope in a world desperate for some good news.
November 7, 2021
Neil was our pastor & dear friend at our church in TX, and I was fortunate to work closely with him for several years. This book is full of the same humble wisdom I greatly appreciated & learned so much from during that time. It inspired me to be a better listener & to use my passions & skills to build relationships. Oh and did I mention he rode a bike across the country!! Incredible!!
March 31, 2022
Excellent book! Why not focus on relationships and conversations, rather than forcing God on everyone? THIS is how Christians SHOULD interact with strangers! We would be seen in a very different light. This was very thought-provoking, and I highly recommend it! I was sad when I reached the end of the book. (Audio book is read by the author.)
September 26, 2021
Neil Tomba fulfilled his 18-year-old dream of biking across the country and having conversations with all kind of people about who they are and what matters in their lives. He is a good listener who gives no judgment to the people he talks to. I received this book from Goodreads giveaway.
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October 19, 2021I absolutely loved the author's honest approach for this trip. He shared his heart to be a better listener. He shared his struggles along the way and the unique people that he met. I forwarded this book on to another friend that I know will love this journey.
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