Clear and Muddy Loss of Love / 泾渭情殇

by 请君莫笑

A natural moat called the Luo river split the great land into two. Jing of the north, and Wei of the south.

One was the Prince of the grass plains who had no worries nor sorrow. One was a lawful Princess who received exclusive favour of the Emperor.

A war turned the Prince of the grass plains into an orphan, she who had laid dormant for ten years had originally planned to become a sycophantic official, to manipulate the enemy kingdom into chaos, but was appointed as Fuma at the Chionglin banquet.

Wait and see, how this debt of grudge from a fallen kingdom and devastated home will be settled.

Genres: Lesbian, Romance, LGBT, Queer, Historical Fiction, Historical, Fantasy

3987 pages, ebook

First published December 24, 2018

About the author

Associated Names:
* Qing Jun Mo Xiao

Reviews

[chai (thelibrairie on tiktok) ♡ · Rating 4 out of 5]

when your friend says "hey this book is gay and it's about a girl who disguises herself as a man and marries the daughter of the emperor who slaughtered her entire clan" you don't walk, you RUN

[Ravi · Rating 5 out of 5]

hoes will read one million words in the span of 24 hours (i'm hoes)

[richa ⋆.˚★ · Rating 5 out of 5]

In the sum of my meagre twenty two years of life, I have not achieved much but I can finally say that I have read Clear and Muddy Loss of Love.

As a part of my 2k23 resolution, I have decided to read more books that will consume all my mind, time and energy. I no longer want to be normal about books I read, I want to have the complete deranged experience. Luckily, jwqs is exactly that.

JWQS or Clear and Muddy Loss of Love or Jīng Wèi Qíng Shāng (translated as Love Dies Young in the Land of Jing and Wei).
A great moat splits the great land of Luo into two: Jing of north and Wei of south. The fate of Prince Qiyan Agula of the Jing grass plains who had seen no worries and pain, collides with the Princess Nangong Jignu of Wei Kingdom, the lawful child who is adored by everyone.(Also known as the Horse girl meets the Princess)
A great war turns the life of the Prince upside down as she looks now towards the south to take her revenge. She who had laid dormant for ten years had originally planned to become a sycophantic official, to manipulate the enemy kingdom into chaos, but was appointed as Fuma at the Chionglin banquet.
Wait and see, how this debt of grudge from a fallen kingdom and devastated home will be settled.

It was Confucius who stated that, “Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.” JWQS spanning four years of the main characters. What started as a clever revenge plot moves onto court politics, family drama, mutual pining that had me sobbing, pulling my hair, brutal angst, morally gray characters that never let you down, manipulative power moves.

In fact if I had to list down all the tropes we'll have:
🖌️Enemies to lovers (Actual enemies here since they belong to rival kingdoms)
🖌️Hidden Identities
🖌️F/F romance (both main and supporting couples)
🖌️Arranged Marriage
🖌️Morally Grey Characters
🖌️Biracial MC
🖌️Androgynous MC
🖌️Wuxia setting
🖌️Royal couples

Having said all that I do have to acknowledge that at 3909, this stands as the longest novel I have read. Surprisingly it took my only 16 days. I have sacrificed many of the hours where I should have been sleeping or studying. It's like once I started reading I couldn't stop. I have a huge chunk of collection of bookmarks and quotes that I have saved purely for reread.

Qiyan Agula, the first main character we open the book with is a fierce, clever and devoted kid of the wild grass plains when we meet. But after losing her family she disguises as a man and breaks into the inner court of Wei Kingdom and proceeds to marry the Princess. What fascinates me is that even after facing soo many hardships (and I mean a lot, she couldn't catch a single break. I have lost great hours, hair and tears on her. My little scheming wolf of the grass plains.) she never deterred from her goal - taking down the Wei emperor. Yes, she was manipulative, she lied more than you can count, did a few crimes, handful of homicides BUT ITS ALL OKAY. She had a reason for it. If you thought you are one step ahead, think again. Qiyan will be 10 steps ahead planning your funeral 🤭 I am a bit slow to court drama but I was on page with whatever was happening.

Then we have the Princess Nangong Jignu, the adored lawful child of Wei Emperor. She started out as a naive, sheltered and a bit reckless daughter. But had a character arc that went into great developments soon as she met Qiyan. The events that ensued in her life had me convinced she will have an evil arc - something which never happened but it turned out way better than I expected. She followed and made herself upto Qiyan's level. My soft little bunny 🥺 suffered a lot. It's not her mistake she was born into that
family. I know Qiyan hated her in laws.
I was extremely pleased with the way their relationship progressed and how politics played into it. PDL had written with care. The revelations and the plot twists kept me up on toes but it's their tender relationship that kept me going.

Admittedly some of the characters didn't have much depth to them apart from their main intention, caricatures but that can be overlooked since they never mattered in long run like the Nangong brothers, their kids and wives, Wu De and Wu Er.

Some of my favourite quotes:

“Did you know: I wish to grow old with you, to give you all of the best things in this world. I’ll take down this heavy responsibility of the rivers and mountains once I’m forty, to sightsee with you to our heart’s content…”

“To have you by side, that’s the best thing there is.”

“So, a heart could shatter.
So, the shattering of a heart could have a sound.
What does that sound like?
Like the sound of the sky collapsing, thunderous and deafening. Darkness fell before her eyes.”

“If such suffering was unavoidable, meeting you would be the greatest show of sympathy to me from divinity.”

“But I insist. I insist on not letting you ‘rest in peace’!”


Overall I have not cried so much in my life for a book (it's true, since I thought I had exhausted myself after TGCF and Fool's Errand by Robin Hobb). Best, sweetest, angstiest couple. If I ever found a paperback of this book, I will be buying it. A moment of appreciation for the translation by meltsmelts on twitter who did a splendid job translating it.
-----------------------------------
RTC after I catch up on sleep and collect my thoughts.

[•°• gabs •°• · Rating 5 out of 5]

i would've loved for the events in the last few chapters to be more detailed BUT even so this is one of the greatest pieces of writing i have ever read and i just. can't help but be in awe at how masterfully it was all done, from characters, character dynamics, politics, military tactics, plot development and just. everything.

there was angst, OBVIOUSLY, but there is just also sooo so much tenderness, and humour (god i laughed so much a lot of times), and i haven't really seen people mention it which makes me :( bc it scares people away from reading it

anyways that's it bc i'm really overwhelmed but ah. this was so worth it.

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is .... very long . Maybe the longest book I have ever read. But also probably one of the best political dramas and featuring pretty much one of the most epic lesbian love stories ever told. I just finished it and I feel like screaming and tearing my hair out so I might write a better review later but uhhhh yeah.

[Khadidja · Rating 5 out of 5]

"But I insist. I insist on not letting you ‘rest in peace’!"


Changing my rating because i am stupid enough to give it 4 stars then it has been more than year since i read it and qijing still live in my head rent free

[hiba · Rating 5 out of 5]

"This will be the last time that I set you up, Jingnu."

4.5/5

I think the fact that this is sapphic enemies to/and lovers between two princesses from warring kingdoms is all you need to know to pick up this book immediately.

[anmol]

sapphic enemies to lovers with arranged marriage???

OHMYGOD WHY AM I ONLY HEARING ABOUT THIS NOWWWW

[daph pink ♡ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Baihe's are so much underrated than Danmei's. More power to Baihe novels and to the incredible writers who make the most of their material to delight readers. It's disappointing that there aren't live-action or anime versions of them.

[rain]

12/06/2021
i have slept for 8 hours so i can now talk more about this book. first of all, i hold so much awe and respect for the author for writing such a long, big-brain novel. clear and muddy loss of love is an epic story that spans decades and is full of elaborate political schemes that made my brain go brrrr. of course, there's also the romance that's full of angst and yearning that destroyed me in the best possible way.

my only issue with this novel is that it ended abruptly. there were quite a few things left unanswered. i guess i just expected the ending to be as elaborate as the rest of the novel but...it wasn't. however, this was still an excellent read overall. i really want more people to pick this up!! even though the page count can be daunting at first, it's still worth the read if you are a fan of slow-burn, well-crafted stories.

12/06/2021
it's 12:05 am and i finally finished this book!!!! more than a million words of pain DONE. don't have enough brain cells rn to write a review but definitely loved this one. reading 4k+ pages of this book was worth it. bye im gonna sleep now.

11/11/2021
this is the longest novel i will ever read in my miserable life and it will possibly make my life more miserable but in a good way i hope. im doing this for the sapphics and also for dija who im buddy reading this with 😭

[eri b.❀ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Do you remember?

I had once worn a groom's robe to kneel before you, requesting for your hand in marriage?

I have never in my life earned so much a happy ending.

This is such a hard book to rate. On one hand, this book was definitely smarter than I am. I would have enjoyed this a lot more if I were more literate in politics and history. If I spoke Chinese, too, it would certainly have been a wonderful lecture: there were so many beautiful and smart things that I'm guessing were only more gorgeous in its original language. The translators did a wonderful job, though, and I could appreciate the insights.

This is a very long book. I think, one of the longest books I've ever read. It was really a slow read, but still very interesting. All the political schemes made me want to learn how the problems would be solved. For me, this was the biggest strength of this book: the realistic portrayal of a court and its problems. There was so much to learn while being thoughtfully entertained and I'm in awe of this capacity.

The relationship between Nangong Jingnu and Qi Yan was something wonderful in its simplicity, and also something sublime in their devotion towards each other. They made me smile so much, especially Nangong Jingnu, and I especially relished seeing her grow into a smart, kind and graceful Emperor. Their individual characterizations, too, were incredibly good, and I easily fell for both of them, though in very different ways: I fell in love with Jingnu's ingenuity and heart of gold, and I fell in love with Qi Yan's intelligence and determination. I also hated Qi Yan half of the time, but these two feelings can and should coexist.

Qi Yan was an excellent character character because she's both awful and wonderful: she's a very complex human being that doesn't fit in black or white. None of the characters fit these categorizations, in fact: there was a cast full of complicated, morally grey individuals. My favourites were Nangong Sunu, Sijiu, Gongyang Huai and Qian Tong, whose grey fell a little bit in the lighter side. But all of the characters were great, with detailed background histories, and I can't imagine the love and thought the author put into each one of them.

Honestly, this was a strong four-star book, maybe even rounded up to five stars, until the very end. Most of the book (98%) had a low pace and explained things dutifully, carefully, compromising with the complex story even if it meant sacrificing action. There was a lot of built-up that was incredibly well done, all characters playing an important part.

Then. The last chapters that were supposed to tie the knot. Just. Failed me completely. There were a rushed conclusion and some loose threads that made me feel unsatisfied, for how much I had spent on the schemes. If the political aspect of the story hadn't played such as an important part in the story, I certainly would have been able to enjoy the beautiful parts of the ending way more. But... for how much (and really, really, there were *so many* pages of it) I invested in the worldbuilding I couldn't help to feel disappointed.

Anyhow, I don't regret reading thousands of pages of Qi Yan and Nangong Jingnu love story and having my heart broken more times than the number of crimes Qi Yan committed. There ending was a little bit to open for my tastes, but still, this is a wonderful, complex story that gives food for thought.

edit: I'm going to round up to four because I really can't stop thinking about it.

[sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

i think that reading a book of nearly four thousand pages just because i heard there were lesbians in it is the gayest thing i have ever done.

i can't even begin to explain the deep love and the attachment that i now have for this story and these characters. this book has ruined me and now i'm miserable. i don't think i'll get over them 😭

[౨ৎ]

slowburn sapphics <33

i don't care if that doesn't make sense, let me enjoy my alliteration

[mara · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5

i wouldn't mind another 200 chapters if i get to read qijing living their best lives together.

[Aleksandra · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm feeling very accomplished to have finished this novel!

My mind is muddled because the first vaccine shot is taking affect but I have tendency to forget to post anything if I don't do it immediately so here are some of my thoughts.

-excellent political intrigue story. While I do wish plot moved forward a little bit faster ultimately I think it worked for this novel
- the CP! the sapphic! all major ladies are queer.
- my favorite chapters are ~ chs240-290.
- Qi Yan is an icon
- the ending left me wanting more. The extras (chapters 304-307) are required reading because otherwise it ends very abruptly, it is a huge novel and we took our time so I was a little ??? why so fast. I admit I do not know the conventions of Chinese webnovel genre, perhaps it just how things are
- Nangong Shunu carried the entire 2/3 of the book on her shoulders, it was disappointing that she was removed from the spotlight in the later part of the novel
- read JWQS for unrepentant murderous sapphics
- a lot of plot threads were left just like that??? on one hand it's a sort of open ending situation with those threads but on the other people just disappeared and we never heard about them again??
- it's a HE novel but literally till the very last chapter I did not believe we get there, I was almost convinced PDL trolled us
- the cars were few but chiefs kiss

[sacrificemenforArtemis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Historical chinese lesbians have consumed and ruined my life.

[Srutokirti · Rating 4 out of 5]

I live by the Yangzi River near its source,
While you reside farthest down its course.
You and I drink water out of the same stream.
I haven’t seen you, though daily of you I dream.

When will this river water cease to run?
When shall I not love you, the way I do?
I only wish our two hearts would beat as one;
You wouldn’t disappoint me in my love for you.

— Busuanzi, Li Zhiyi

3.5

[SYNOPSIS & TRANSLATION]

Okay, I said I was gonna write up a proper review for this, and I'm here to do my mediocre job of it. This is one of the behemoth books I read in 2020 that were integral in keeping me sane, and I have a lot of love for both its protagonists and its author, 请君莫笑, hanging out with whom through reading her works is always a delight. I hope her health has been better throughout the rest of the year, and once 入赘 Rùzhuì Matrilocal Marriage's done I look forward to her company again. I read the main story in September 2020 and didn't touch the extras, and in December now that I have and ridden the Feelings Train of Euphoria again, to put it lightly, well. I'm here to unpack some stuff.

First off, the AESTHETICS of the premise is a big enough hook all on its own. Arranged marriage, enemies to lovers, politics like it's a carnival, scheming and reform and love and loss and hatred and just. A whirlwind of people limited and shattered through their struggle for power and patience for revenge. People who fall in love and grow old and make a corner of the world theirs all the same. People that live their lives seeped in irony and promises of mutual destruction. Just the SOUND of it is seductive, and I can promise you that it delivers on the execution.

Also 请君莫笑's writing HAS gotten better from 女将军和长公主 Female General and Eldest Princess in leaps and bounds. There is stuff I'm gonna criticize here but in short: this is a very, very long (and rewarding) read. The sheer ambition it operated on is worthy of praise in my book. If you're into reading about complex women in positions of power that they aren't at all supposed to occupy, oppressive structures of discrimination that get quietly toppled and built into newer, sturdier beams of a prospering kingdom through years of hard work—a kingdom that was once split into two, made up of lands and people who were merged together into becoming the labor of love (and hatred) it eventually culminated into.

"In order to fool your enemies, you must first fool yourself."

While I will go to say that the supporting cast deserved better in terms of characterization and screen time, it's a vast improvement from 女将军和长公主 Female General and Eldest Princess and I really love our leads Qi Yan and Nangong Jingnu, who grow into love and conflict and into each other's marrows throughout the course of the story. Qi Yan's obsession and drive and grief, when they come into contact with Nangong Jingnu's ignorance and malleability and privilege that blinds her to the commoners' world and its sufferings, make for an immensely riveting relationship to both unravel and marvel at. The way they get to fall in love is delightful, and the comfort and suffering they derive from each other is a fascinating thing to have the front row seat to.

It's a story about learning not just governance but also (both with and from) the people you love, it's about the destructive cycles of vengeance and the impact love has on their stages and Clear and Muddy Loss of Love / 泾渭情殇 also astutely examines how effective it is in allowing people to break out of them. It simultaneously plays out Qi Yan's vengeance thriller and Nangong Jingnu's coming of age story as a competent ruler who grapples with her limitations of gender and loss of innocence once she comes into power, which culminates into a love story for the ages. If you're into historical cdramas and kdramas and both the epic scales and hurt/comfort of their love stories, this WILL be your jam, and the melodramatic undercurrent this runs on is executed with careful thought and its deserved nuance.

"Either she walked to the very end, to kill Nangong Jingnu.

Or she dragged things out until her plot was exposed, to be doomed eternally.

There was no turning back.

No, it should be said that: from the moment that Qiyan Agula became an orphaned survivor of her fallen kingdom, she was destined to have no way back."

90% of the major supporting cast is made up of women and the story deals extensively with all the ways this time period and its society have failed them alongside how they work with (and against) each other to rise above its shackles that cage them in. I thought that they ceased to become people and turned into plot drivers for the convenience of the narrative (they really are written like npcs, which becomes grating) lots of times when I was reading, but there is no action in this book that comes without extensively explored consequences, and looking back I do feel that 请君莫笑 has done her story justice.

I didn't agree with every single narrative decision here, but I loved the characters and I loved how dense the plot was. It's a thematically beautiful story and the one thing I would advise you to do is to not skip the extras as I did in September 2020—they really are essential for gaining the best experience out of reading it.

It sure is a book that tires you out, but you're all the more susceptible to catharsis for it, because at least, in this brief human life, you once loved, and isn't that ultimately what makes you who you are?

[Kadie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Maybe 2.5? Idk I really didn’t start having problems until the end but man that ending... it sucked.... but oh my god I finally finished this ABSOLUTE MONSTER and I’m so glad to be done. It was fun. Until it was only meh.

So anyways this book sounds amazing right? I mean what can be better than a wlw enemies to lovers right??? Weeeell😅

I don’t necessarily regret reading this book and some parts were really quite good. I really didn’t get annoyed annoyed with it until the last 20-ish chapters. Those chapters were.... very hard to get through. I’m not gonna lie I skimmed them more than I actually read them. It just feels so sucky to make it through 307 chapters, over one million words and over 2,000 pages and just feel.... meh.

If you’re someone who realllyyyy likes plot then you might find this enjoyable. It’s VERY plot heavy. Like very. However, I tend to enjoy books for the characters and there just wasn’t enough really good insightful character moments in this. When there was, it was really good!!! But those moments were waaayyyy too inconsistent and were often weirdly short or cut off. I felt like a lot of the development was also very tell and not show. I feel like the characters never really.... went anywhere. Not really. And the ending was so dissatisfying. I hate to say it since the author seems to have gone through hell and back while writing this but.... I finished this book not /really/ knowing or caring about who Nangong Jingnu and Qi Yan were as individual people or as a couple.

Half the time even when a character was talking with another character they were really only interacting with the plot which made a lot of relationships very hollow and there just.... where’s the depth??? The angst was annoying because I didn’t care!!! They were just doing the same stupid stuff over and over again and I didn’t care!! Because I felt nothing for the characters!! And it’s so frustrating because there’s soooo much potential right??? There was SO much potential for these characters.

Also if you are hoping for a climax... don’t. There isn’t one. No rising action, no climax, no falling action. It’s literally just a series of events. A lot of loose threads are left but I was so ready to be done I almost don’t care. Also.... why that ending??? That wasn’t a satisfying or really even a happy ending it just felt... kinda bad and pitiful and... unhealthy. And once again, so much potential to make it a good ending. To add in a twist or something!

But anyways... I did really like it in the beginning/middle and there were honestly some realllyyy good and cute scenes in this!! I definitely didn’t hate it. I really don’t regret reading it and it really didn’t become a chore for me to read until we got closer to the end and I realized that the story wasn’t building to anything and the characters were still going in circles around each other. That’s when I kinda gave up on it and why I am kinda left with a foul impression😅 but it wasn’t all bad!! Not at first at least!!! So... do with this info what you will and I will leave it at that.

[juls ˚⊹♡]

paused ༊·˚

[tiffany · Rating 2 out of 5]

dnf at chapter 65

3909 pages is definitely a bit tooo much of a slowburn for me. this was my first webnovel, and melts did such a great job with the translation, but i'm so sorry i just genuinely could not deal with the writing and dialogue at all, and i was having a bit of difficulty understanding certain parts. and the age gap was so icky to me and was made worse by the drastic difference in personalities. definitely just was not for me.

[Rebecca]

I am sadly putting this on indefinite hold. This book is just too long. I've been reading this for forever and there's still so many chapters left and I am not a slow reader. Long review ahead, skip using the headers.

The plot:
First arc - The novel starts off when Qiyan was just born to the people of the plains. Due to political reasons, she is brought up as a boy. When she's five or so, the Wei kingdom (the Han Chinese), exterminated Qiyan's tribe. She escaped and was taken in by a masked woman, who teaches her everything about the Wei kingdom for the sake of vengeance. Qiyan is brought up and moulded into a tool of the masked woman, meant to take down the Wei kingdom because the masked woman also hates the Wei kingdom.

Qiyan, now able to pass off as a Han Chinese person, enters the capital as a scholar. Through a series of schemes, both her own and others', she ends up entering the palace, but as the husband of Princess Nangong Jingnu, most beloved daughter of the emperor.

Second arc: Qiyan puts on a performance as a studious and devoted husband to Nangong Jingnu. Nangong Jingnu falls in love with her and Qiyan also starts to develop feelings, even though she had originally faked everything. This arc mainly focuses on Qiyan's increasingly conflicted feelings - vengeance says that Nangong Jingnu is part of the group that caused the genocide of her people (she's part of the royal family) but her personal feelings say that she loves Nangong Jingnu and being with her is probably Qiyan's only shot at happiness.

Meanwhile, Nangong Jingnu undergoes quite an intense growth arc. She starts out very impulsive, innocent/naïve and good-hearted; she becomes more mature, thoughtful and thinks before she acts. She learns about political maneuvers and learns that what you see is not always all there is. There are also a bunch of political sideplots that show the kind of person Qiyan is - very intelligent, calculating and a little ruthless. Although not totally a bad person, she does a lot of amoral things.

Third arc: I stopped halfway through here. More players come into the field - the masked person, some people from the plains who survived, Nangong Jingnu (who is now on the path to becoming a female Emperor), other political heavyweights, etc. Qiyan is also beginning to want to protect Nangong Jingnu's life no matter what happens. A lot of moves by various players to get power; Qiyan and the masked person are trying to topple the Wei kingdom.

The good:
- huuuge improvement from 女将军和长公主 Female General and Eldest Princess; the main couple is much more interesting and dynamic and you actually know what they are like together
- qiyan and nangong jingnu are very well-written characters with very compelling arcs. it is really a pity that the novel was so long and there was so much info-dumping. qiyan is an anti-heroine and i was actually quite uncomfortable with some of the things she did
- female characters are all awesome!!

The bad:
- way too much info-dumping. the pace is really, really slow. there were too many side-plots that were unmemorable and side characters who are basically like NPC characters in a game, where i barely remember them after they're gone. this book reads like a whole series of novels stuffed into one. it's 4000+ pages on my kindle.

[Athira · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the longest novel I've ever read and I enjoyed every moment. Because of the length, I didn't think I would continuously read it (and I'm also a mood reader and have multiple current reads) but surprisingly I finished it at a stretch.

The plot is mind blowing, incredibly well written with each minute detail connected to the bigger picture. I'm not usually much for political dramas but this one was so good, I'm thinking I might be into it. This is an epic love story than spans over a decade, a tale of revenge with meticulous planning and contains:

✔Enemies to/and lovers
✔ F/F romance
✔ Hidden Identity
✔Mutual Pining
✔Arranged Marriage
✔ Power Couple
✔morally grey and smart MCs
✔biracial MC
✔ ancient Chinese setting
✔androgynous MC
✔sapphic side couple
✔queer side characters
✔heirs of rival kingdoms

If this list doesn't convince you that you need this in your life, this book is also fulfills BE GAY, DO CRIMES!

the writing is very beautiful, very much more than FGEP (though I really love that too) and I cannot reccomend it highly enough. Qi Yan Agula, the Prince of Chengli tribe is one of the most intelligent characters I've ever read. Now that is the definition of a sexy brain! Reading about her plotting, deviousness, drive and obsession over revenge, and her devotion to Nangong Jingnu, the love of her life and the daughter of her enemy is absolutely stunning.

It was beautiful to see them slowly fall in love over the years and also watch them develop into such strong characters, especially Jingnu.

If you're a fan of historical kdramas and cdramas (but gayyyyy!!) with slowburn and hurt/comfort, angst with happy ending, then you will love this! (Also I cannot count how many cross dressing historicals I've watched just to get crumbs of queer content 😅)

Please don't skip the extras as they are integral to complete the novel. Also I love the author's notes, the way she's talking about her cat named Banana after giving us a chapter of angst lmao😂😂


"In order to fool your enemies, you must first fool yourself."

[Aenys · Rating 3 out of 5]

GOD IT WAS SO LONG. I really liked the ending and the premise but SO MUCH OF IT DRAGGED ON AND ON. I wish I could have appreciated the more lyrical and poetic stuff, and the authors attention to detail with regards to the kingdom’s lore was intense and I appreciate it. But if I have to hear about THOSE GODDAMN SALT RESERVES AGAIN I S2G. Lots of this book got repetitive and dragged on, and none of the characters except for Gongyang Huai and Qi Yan. Jingnu was nice but her temperament really didn't vibe with me. Overall I appreciate the story but my enjoyment of it was only 3 stars.

[Emily M · Rating 4 out of 5]

Recommended for those whose favorite parts of ‘Game of Thrones’ was the political intrigue, but who wished it had more lesbians and bi girls*! This Chinese web novel isn’t perfect – some bits could have been tightened up if it wasn't released in serialized format, while the lack of an official translation probably contributed to the English prose feeling a bit clunky in places. However, the central story about the princess of a nomadic tribe (posing as a man), going undercover to seek revenge for her people only to fall in love with her enemy’s daughter had me on the edge of my seat the whole way through, and the political and economic worldbuilding that largely creates that tension was really good.

The Wei Kingdom is the Ancient China equivalent - probably a Tang dynasty analog, specifically- while the grass plains appear to be “not-Mongolia”. Qiyan Agula was actually always raised as a boy for political reasons. She’s thus quite well positioned to keep up that role when she infiltrates the kingdom that enslaved her people. She plans to gain a place as a court official under the name Qi Yan, but then accidentally ends up engaged to the emperor’s daughter.

The two main characters are what really give this politics-heavy story life. Agula/Qi Yan is very clever – there’s always multiple layers to her plans – and her conflicted feelings toward the Nangong family versus the princess specifically make for great drama throughout^. Nangong Jingnu starts out as a naïve young girl, but she always has a lot of spirit and soon develops into a very competent leader. Given the setup, they of course end up hurting each other repeatedly, but since I understood where each of them is coming from and how deeply they care about each other, I still wanted them to have a happy ending. And they do…but, gosh, the way they manage it must have made a lot of other people sad! That’s because the sister relationships and friend relationships in this are quite well-developed, so you know there are a lot of people in-story rooting for their happiness who will never know it was achieved.

It was fun to see a story set in Ancient China (more or less) that had so many female characters who are strong and talented in different ways - and to see multiple pairs of them fall for each other! There is a lot of discussion of the unnecessary restrictions put on women in Wei society, the ways certain characters got around that, and what they might do to change things. The treatment of MLM is a little iffy, though, mainly because the only gay/bi man we actually meet is predatory, and the method Qi Yan uses to take him out makes use of that fact - making her not much better in that instance! A less serious quibble has to do with Qi Yan’s boobs, and what the treatment of the weird throughline about her taking a drug to suppress their growth, then reversing it, but then binding them to continuing to live as a man anyway says about Qi Yan’s and the author’s views of gender…but more on all of that in the full review : https://ajungleoftales.blogspot.com/2...

There isn’t an official translation (yet), but this unofficial version is pretty good: https://www.novelupdates.com/series/c...

*And, to be fair, they were apparently dealing with some health issues and were writing this in serialized format without an editor!
^ “[Name] felt complicated” is a very common phrase used for both of them, actually, and the reader will also probably be having complicated feelings about their actions too!

[Varshverse · Rating 5 out of 5]

H.O.L.Y. S.H.I.T.

My brain has malfunctioned and I feel numb.

Anyways.....

WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING ALL MY LIFE BEFORE READING THIS EFFING MASTERPIECE?

I truly do not know what to say. All while nearing the end of the novel I would remind myself what to write in the Goodreads review and all those words sounded good and eloquent. But right now, I cannot for the life of me remember anything that I wanted to say. And I have to admit that no words can capture my love for this novel.

There have been times when I've seen other readers say that they couldn't leave the certain book alone after reading it. That they could not get over it.

And though I've read many wonderful books before and felt wistful closing them after completion, I don't think I've ever felt this empty. Even my heart is tugging painfully in my chest. I feel numb, empty, and overall very wistful.

What can I say, Qi Yan and Nangong Jingnu have taken full residence in my heart and brain. I've fallen for both of them along the way though I know that personality wise they are not at all suitable for me LOL. I've watched them grow up, just like how Qi Yan was there for Nangong Jingnu since she was fourteen. Isn't that beautiful? Jingnu had grown up alongside Qi Yan, all through happiness, sorrow and betrayal? I would say that these two are Star-Crossed Lovers, with the Happy Ending.

All throughout the novel, I felt the need to quote and highlight every sentence just because of the sheer impact and beauty the lines had. I've cursed, laughed, blushed and cried because of PDL and sometimes felt the silly thought of marrying PDL. Well what can I say, I was pretty overwhelmed.

I sincerely hope PDL can read this review of mine, to know the home they have provided me with this novel. No amount of love I express can ever equal to the true amount of love and gratitude I feel in my heart.

It's like Catharsis truly. JWQS, Clear and Muddy Loss of Love has given me catharsis, a permanent place in my heart. It's my home too, a very sad but beautiful home and I love it with all of me.

My emotions are running rampant and I will probably read this review later and find some mistakes in grammar or sentence structure but this is my raw feelings laid out.

PDL, I hope you know that you have changed my life with this novel.

As a last note, Qi Yan and Nangong Jingnu are a true power couple.

[Aster · Rating 5 out of 5]

Goodreads deleted my review after my reread!!

original review:

Okay hmm wtf this is a new fave and I need to gather my thoughts. My emotions have been rearranged and I will never be the same.

I started this novel on January 1st right after midnight and it's now January 15th afternoon. 307 chapters and I'm done. My heart is empty and full and I'm still wiping my tears away (nothing will top last night's angst ~chapter 260 but chapter 306 made me cry all over again)
A common complaint in my reviews is "well that happened too fast". Let me tell you that I do not have this particular complaint this time. Although this novel is really long I don't feel like any chapter was wasted on something insignificant, I never skipped a paragraph and I took my time to always read carefully carefully absorb new information.
Because this is a political novel (among other things) and the writer has done a great job at explaining to the reader what was going on. I never felt loss and if there was a loose end or an action I couldn't understand, the answer was spelled in the text 50 chapters later.
Okay but what exactly is this book that I'm praising? It's the story of the revenge of the Prince of the grass plains, Qiyan Agula who accidentally ends up marrying the daughter of his enemy and falls in love with her. Oh and also they're both women. Qiyan Agula is a terrible master manipulator but I support women's rights and especially women's wrongs.
This story said romance and yearning and ANGST. Oh my god I love angst and I was fed SO WELL. So much ANGST (with a happy ending). You have no idea how happy I was to read a story that catered exactly to my taste of having my heart ripped out from my chest.
There's a lot of things that I want to mention but this review can't be infinite but god this story is so complex.
I need to conclude this to say that I read the translation and I want to thank the translator for their work. While it took me some time to get into the writing style I was hooked by the end. I regret not jotting down my favourite quotes because some sentences were truly remarkable but nothing tore my heart more than the title for chapter 263 "The wooden sculpture that was kept silently for many years"

[✩☽ · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars. honestly this has the same issues as FGEP - the author spends an insane amount of time on build up and then completely rushes the ending. the fate of the main villain in a 300 chapter book being completely unexplained? girl why

personally preferred the characterization in FGEP and wasn't a fan of the age gap here - but the relationships between the nangong sisters was pretty cool and i enjoyed the fact that there were multiple f/f couples. the pacing was much better here until the last three chapters completely ruined it. unlike FGEP, it also takes the route of addressing the status of women in the world rather than painting the protagonists as exceptions. personally i think i preferred FGEP because one of the protagonists believes the other is a man for like 75% of the book and there is too much "oh we're both women" which FGEP completely avoids.

upon further reflection, i think i just have a fundamental disagreement with what this writer considers a good relationship and therein lies my issues with all of her books - she has said she doesn't think two equally matched intelligent women would work out well together and one of them being less intelligent and naive is what makes her relationships work ... but i have the exact opposite opinion so that's probably why i don't really end up rooting for the main couple in her books even though i usually enjoy the premise and the drama.

[lily ⊹ ₊ ⁺ · Rating 5 out of 5]

₊˚ପ⊹ • ➵ 5/5 ✧

when you try to kill your enemy but you fall in love with his daughter in the process, but you still end up annihilating her family anyway. #justicefornangongshunu

qijing have stolen my heart ♡

here are some of my favorite quotes:
"through all these years, qi yan's intentions started out from killing nangong jingnu with her own hands, then it gradually developed into returning to nothing with her."

"i want to pull her out of there, to make her see me batter myself to death on her coffin, and then jump inside of it with the last of my strength to sleep with her here forever."

"get up. argue with me. make a fuss with me, smash something or hit someone, anything you want."

"all that he had done was just to murder a few imperial descendants and burn a few palace chambers... you're truly too young."

"she wanted her to live, to torment her until the day that they die together."

"she made her fall in love with her. and it has never lessened for a single moment."

"with nangong sunu, this great buddha in charge, qiuju could be much more assured."

"just like what the masked person had taught her: in order to fool your enemies, you must first fool yourself."

"she had fallen for the daughter of her enemy."

[ane · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked this novel up because I was told this is enemies-to-lovers excellence (even without judging it solely within the subcategory of f/f romance) but good LORD I wasn't prepared it to be enemies-AND-lovers excellence even up until the end ㅠㅠ

In my reading experience, romance usually isn't so intricately crafted as an entity to contend with on its own in stories with political intrigue; rather it is weaved into the plot line like seasoning that adds flavour to the meal. The plot is always deemed superior to the romance. Personally, I too had such a prejudice - till I came across this one.

Even though I say I love angst, it's truer to say that it's more of a personal challenge to find that angsty piece of literature which can actually hurt me. But when I am confronted with one, I would do anything other than read even though the only thing on my mind is that book. That is how I managed to drag on my reading progress with this one for almost two months :')) It was overwhelming, really.

And the intrigue? Genius on its own, too.

[Maëlys · Rating 2 out of 5]

what was what.