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Confessions of the Scandalous Mrs. Darcy: A Pride and Prejudice Variation

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A ripped bodice leaves a reputation in tatters. . . .

Miss Elizabeth Bennet never meant to compromise Mr. Darcy. Indeed, she had hoped never to speak to the odious man again, but after an accidental entanglement the argumentative pair find themselves on the road to matrimony.

A marriage of inconvenience. . . .

Now the new Mrs. Darcy, Lizzy find herself at the center of scandal with gossip mongers judging her every misstep. Adding to the challenge is her new family, a cast of characters colorful enough to rival her own absurd relations. And perhaps most provoking of all is Mr. Darcy himself who seems determined to avoid her.

The journey to love is a twisted road, indeed. . . .

With her charm and sharp wit, Elizabeth Darcy makes her place in this new life. But can she capture Mr. Darcy's heart?

Havoc and hijinks abound in this sexy, humorous Pride and Prejudice variation.

318 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 17, 2020

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Darcie Rochester

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5 stars
406 (54%)
4 stars
192 (25%)
3 stars
93 (12%)
2 stars
31 (4%)
1 star
21 (2%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 117 reviews
Profile Image for Sheila Majczan.
2,691 reviews202 followers
January 30, 2021
4.5 stars rounded up to 5 stars

Told completely from Elizabeth's POV this is another FMS, which I do love to read about. In this story Elizabeth and Darcy are found alone in the Netherfield library with her bodice ripped. Gossip ensues. Then the Netherfield party departed for London.

Darcy had explained Wickham's true character to Elizabeth and she realized her mistaken opinion about the 2 men. However the Jane and Bingley situation described in canon continues to be a situation to untangle in this variation.

Darcy does write to Mr. Bennet, having gone to London to make all the arrangements. The couple weds and we then have a drunken Elizabeth facing Mr. Darcy when he comes to her bed chamber. And so the dance begins, back and forth...misunderstandings and apologies and comedies galore. One of these is that Darcy tells her that he would never have proposed to her. That statement keeps rattling around in her brain even as she finds more reasons to like the man.

Darcy's town house in which this marriage begins is inhabited by other Darcy relatives: his aunt, a cousin with her two children (with a possibly "dead" husband), another cousin who is obsessed with the study and drawing of insects plus a fat terrier dog named Sir Sebastian. Each of these relatives adds to the events described in this tale...even the two young girls. Elizabeth meets a "gentleman" also named Sir Sebastian who turns out to have a reputation of having affairs with married women!

I found myself laughing out loud while reading Elizabeth's descriptions about her introduction to the "marriage act"...including Darcy's hidden collection on the subject. (Here the reading becomes detailed and rated for MA only.)

The Bennet family shows up UNINVITED on Christmas Eve and is then present for a masquerade ball Elizabeth is planning.

There is also the problem of a spy in the household who is supplying information to a gossip newspaper.

This is a long story so there is much to discover on your own. I have only lightly touched on a few points. I highly recommend this story with the disclaimer that it is rated MA. I found many humorous parts which had me smiling and/or laughing. Well done, even with the need for proofreading.
Profile Image for Debbie.
1,680 reviews80 followers
February 23, 2021
4.5 rounded up to 5 stars

This is a rather silly but thoroughly entertaining variation. It's told from Elizabeth's point of view, in her own words. The language isn't overly modern...but the attitude! Yes, the attitude has a modern feel to it. Purists probably will not approve. I do.

It's easiest to describe with examples. Speaking of her husband, Elizabeth says: I have mentioned before how potent his Glare of Doom is... . If it were possible to could kill with a glare, everyone in London would be dead.

Speaking of herself, she says: He may have his Judgmental Glare of Doom but I have a Penetrating Stare of Madness.

Here's her reaction to poor weather: Sleet is such an indecisive form of precipitation. Be rain or be hail or be snow, but for goodness sake pick one. Doing all three at once is just outrageous. Exhibitionist, really.

The story strains credibility, but it really does a wonderful job of explaining why Darcy might be attracted to Elizabeth. Notably, his uncle James Darcy is quite like his nephew both in looks and in temperament. And James's wife Rebecca shares many of Elizabeth's personality traits.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. The story is that Darcy and Elizabeth were found alone in a room at Netherfield during the ball and, due to an innocent accident, her bodice was ripped. Compromise! The gossip ran through all of Meryton like wildfire, and from Meryton to London. Therefore, along with a husband who seems to despise her, Elizabeth acquires a scandalous reputation in London Society before she ever sets foot in it.

Fortunately, most of Darcy's family seems disposed to like her, though not his aunt, Mrs. Constance Vane. She lives at his London townhome along with her two young daughters, Henrietta and Belinda. There are the aforementioned Mr. and Mrs. James Darcy, who come to call. Mrs. Margaret Darcy drops in too. She's Darcy's great-aunt and she's planning a trip, so she is leaving her temperamental dog, Sir Sebastian Shivershanks, with Darcy to dog-sit while she's away. She brings another family member, Dorothea (Dora) Darcy, a rather strange girl fascinated with beetles and bugs. She's usually a companion for Aunt Darcy, but she's being left for Darcy to look after along with the dog.

By the way, there's another Sir Sebastian in the story who is NOT a dog.

The plot involves various social events designed to make London society discount the gossip they've heard about the new Mrs. Darcy. A climactic scene is a ball that's intended for her to charm all in attendance. Naturally, things do not go quite as hoped.

I chuckled, giggled, laughed out loud, and occasionally even guffawed through the whole book. It's light-hearted and thoroughly delightful.
Profile Image for wosedwew.
1,337 reviews125 followers
November 28, 2020
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. ~ Victor Borge

“Confessions of the Scandalous Mrs. Darcy” contains a lot of laughter but since most of the jokes are in Elizabeth’s private thoughts, the distance between the new couple takes a while to disappear.

Quote from the book: "I suppose I should apologize," I added.
Darcy made no reply, but after a long silent moment I heard him chuckle dryly. I glanced up at him in surprise.
"What is amusing?" I asked, more accusingly than I intended.
"I am wondering when should I expect this apology."

This is another forced marriage, pushed by the town of Meryton on a couple entirely innocent of the accusations. The circumstantial evidence is very strong, however, and a marriage soon takes place.

Not through wrath but through laughter one slayeth. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

It turns out that Elizabeth is not the only one who should blush at her relations. We meet more and more Darcy Aunts and cousins, all with their special peculiarities at least as far as the new Mrs. Darcy is concerned.

Quote from the book: Teasingly he said, "It is becoming a habit with you, losing my cousins." Ah, so he had heard about that.
"I did not really lose Belinda, whatever your aunt may say. We were playing a game. It is hardly my fault she found such an effective hiding spot and promptly fell asleep in it."
"Yes, but perhaps it was not necessary for you to tell my aunt you had sold her daughter to a chimney sweep," Darcy chided. He and I have very different definitions of 'necessary'.
"She deserved it, I had to bait her. She should know by now I am jesting. Besides, Belinda is far too large to climb all but the grandest of chimneys and in another year even those will be beyond her. No business minded sweep would make such a poor investment."

I chortled all the way!

Quote from the book: I had just received the cut direct from my own husband. Oh bloody hell.

Life is a vale of tears in which there are moments you just can't stop giggling. ~ Robert Brault
Profile Image for Ree.
1,336 reviews80 followers
July 5, 2022
Very Entertaining!
4.5* rating. A forced marriage scenario for Darcy and Elizabeth. New Darcy relations. Completely non-canon. I enjoyed this author’s book, The Ruin of Elizabeth Bennet, so I was very keen on reading this one.

A first-person Elizabeth account—hence “confessions”—at first felt somewhat forced and I found myself not being able to laugh at the intended humour. Still, I couldn’t stop reading, and as the relationship between ODC developed, along with Elizabeth’s private thoughts and their often taunting and teasing banter, the book quickly grew on me and I became delighted with it all. Excellent, entertaining dialogue. Especially diverting is Elizabeth’s introduction to Darcy’s bayonet.

I could have done without Wickham appearing at the end, and other than the proofreading misses, it is very well written. Unsure at first, I ended up loving this Darcy and Elizabeth, and the book overall. Do read it. You WILL laugh. Contains mature scenes between a married couple.
Profile Image for Shifra ♕.
244 reviews75 followers
April 2, 2021
The jokes per capita on these pages must surely have set some JAFF record- unprecedented in my experience.
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Synopsis:

By mere accident Lizzy is compromised by Mr Darcy at the Netherfield ball and the whole of Meryton is ablaze with talk
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They wed hastily to quell the talk, and then most of the story centers on poor, but hilarious, Lizzy trying to goad Darcy into conversation and interaction.
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Darcy has been hiding his zany relations in London, and oh boy! No wonder he is so taciturn, the poor dear was cohabiting with cartoons.
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It suddenly made sense why Darcy was ready to risk it all and bunk in the country with Miss Bingley, if it meant a reprieve of his wacky home life.

Ms. Rochester knows how to appeal to her audience by exhibiting Darcy at his cutest: he is the grumpy overseer of a house full of strays, of both the human and animal variety- Darcy with puppies and babies?- be still, my heart & ovaries!

That Which Sparked Joy:

❀IT IS BOMBASTICALLY HILARIOUS! Upon my word, I have never giggled -actually out loud guffawed- while reading a JAFF and so consistently; it became a rhythm- a pattern! If I didn't know better I'd think Lizzy herself materialized and declared,
“Hold my brandy, I'll show you how I would write a JAFF"

The narrative voice is amongst the most irreverent, sardonic, and charming I have ever had the pleasure to encounter.

❀Original characters:

- Henrietta and Belinda: adorable & delightful!
- Rebecca Darcy: Panglossian & sweet
- Dora Darcy: interested in entomology, reminds me in her dead pan delivery of Audrey plaza
- Sir Sebastian (the dog)


❀Flows really well, great dialogue. I’ll confess, dear reader, I highlighted an unseemly amount- so enchanting the writing was.

That Which Courted Disdain:
✗ There is no Darcy POV, so of course you will spend this fairly frustrated at the inscrutable taciturn gentlemen who comes off rude & unfeeling- but only towards Lizzy. I mean, what the hell is he thinking? We believe he loves Lizzy, but his actions of avoidance aren't assuring. The last 10% he was finally communicating, but he never did explain his apprehension to be approachable.
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Also, where is Darcy at all the bloody time? I want answers!! He claims 'walking the dog'- why was he avoiding Lizzy all the time in the first half?

✗Nothing substantial happen for the most part, it's just observing Lizzy interact with the zany Darcys and chase after the errant Mr Darcy. I did start to get detached to the story- although it is hilarious- it doesn't have any emotional depth to it and ODC relationship is not moving.

♕One scene later is mature, so modest readers beware..
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The Decree:
What can I say that will properly do this work justice? Shall I wax lyrical on how I feel I aged backwards reading this? It ironed out frowns and elicited giggles nearly every page.
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I will say I still prefer Ms Rochester's other work, The Ruin of Elizabeth Bennet: A Pride and Prejudice Variation, that one while not as joke chocked as this, has the leg up in being well rounded: with humor, emotionally moving romance, Darcy POV, facets of Lydia & Wickham explored, and more events and structure- in short the whole JAFF package.

This was emotionally light. I am giving it 5 stars for how hilarious and witty it was, but I understand why some people may not enjoy it considering nothing happens; no real turning point or ODC development, they just kinda warm up to each other in an underwhelming manner.
Overall, just an endless stream of hilarity.
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Profile Image for Les.
2,911 reviews1 follower
January 18, 2024
Like the titular heroine of this story I love laugh and this book delivers laughs. Real, actual, honest to God, laugh out Loud, chortles, giggles and snorts.

Following an accident at the Netherfield Ball Lizzy Bennet is compelled to marry Mr. Darcy. A man who is essentially a stranger and move to London.

In this P&P version Darcy isn't alone in his town home he is joined by his Sister Georgiana and his aunt, Mrs Vare and her two preteen daughters. In addition to the usual cast of extended Darcy family members we get an Uncle James and his new wife and an slightly eccentric aunt and her terrible dog Sir Sebastian.

Much of the book is composed of Lizzy's inner dialogue where she pokes fun and scoffs at the insanity that is her life. She also brews up quite a bit of resentment against Darcy which is usually quickly resolved only to start building again. He really is a lunkhead.
Anyway I loved this book an never wanted it to end. I could happily read the rest of the Darcys life in this format

Mild warning there is a bit of steaminess. Not over the top or really off putting but if you like your P&P totally clean this isn't the book for you.
Profile Image for James S.
1,434 reviews
November 23, 2020
English Romp

Classic story where everyone says one thing and means another. Lots of grins for we reader. A few laughs. But Darcy doesn’t say much and when he does he I’d kind of mean to Lizzy. And Lizzy can’t force an argument because direct statements are not allowed.

The comedy of words wanders to and fro until the end of the story when Darcy and Lizzy finally seem to get tired of being mean to each other, decide they love each other, and the HEA is brought out for the reader’s approval. Which is nice since this reader was tired of their dance of a thousand cuts, with words.
Profile Image for Sam H..
1,225 reviews59 followers
February 17, 2021
I have a feeling I am going to be the underdog with this review. Don't get me wrong, this is a clever, witty and very different JAFF!
I got caught up in the beginning with all the chuckles for Elizabeth's POV ( this should really be called The Lizzy Dialogs. However at about 30% when nothing seems to have happened, it got old. At about 50% there still wasn't much to the story itself. Finally, after that, we get some real communication and movement between ODC and other parts of the story start to develop.
Hold on to your hats because in the last 30% everything happens together and at once. And the end is utterly charming. As is this book as a whole, but I read enough Bridget Jones and Shopaholic books to know their formula. Probably what the author was going for. I guess I just don't appreciate it in my JAFF.

Entertaining as Bl...Dy heck, but not a reread.
545 reviews21 followers
July 29, 2023
A hilarious first person narration of Elizabeth's life after her forced marriage to Darcy. There were many LOL moments but in the beginning I could feel for that poor girl forced into a life without any preparation or idea with absolutely no support from anyone including her idiotic husband and at the same time appreciate her courage to face them with her sense of humour intact.
Profile Image for Madenna U.
2,149 reviews1 follower
January 22, 2021
I did not care for this book very much. Other than the names of a few people and places, there was nothing to cling to that was recognizable. The characters used modern language and behaved in ways that seemed uncomfortable. Each situation created seemed to be adding another log to a fire rather than flowing as a story.
Profile Image for Anne.
799 reviews10 followers
March 14, 2023
Very humorous laugh out loud book. I enjoyed it more the second time even know how it goes.

A warning- it has a very modern feel along with modern language but I just let myself enjoy the humor of it all.

My favorite part was when Elizabeth was trying to get to know Mr Darcy and was horrified to find out he didn’t like sunshine and his favorite color was gray. Her reactions were priceless.

Not much Wickham which I appreciate.
Profile Image for Tandie.
1,563 reviews249 followers
April 20, 2021
Normally, anachronisms bother me and pull me out of a story. Not so with this one. It was just delightfully entertaining and the modern sayings just fit. The writing style was consistent, and Elizabeth was spunky as she should be. This was light and comedic, with a good dose of regency (ish) romance.
Profile Image for Michelle David.
2,554 reviews14 followers
September 19, 2022
unique

A rather farcical and definitely unique variation inspired by author Jane Austen’s classic novel Pride and Prejudice by Darcie Rochester.
Profile Image for Sheryl Gordon.
265 reviews5 followers
November 28, 2020
Bloody Good book.

You'll have to read it to completely comprehend the headline here, but then again, with a five star rating, you should certainly read it. IMHO.
Profile Image for Isa.
622 reviews312 followers
November 21, 2021
While this was funny, it was riddled with mistakes (the author does not know the difference between affect and effect, for instance) and the language and behaviours of the characters were completely modern. This book needs to be better researched and to be proofread.
461 reviews
January 9, 2021
A tongue and cheek variation not to miss

A tongue and cheek variation not to miss. This book starts off with Elizabeth and Darcy caught in the library by circumstance and a ripped dress. We learn that Elizabeth has a quirky sense of humor and this enables her to deal with the circumstances she finds herself in with being married and living in London with Darcy and his more than eccentric Darcy relatives with grace and humor. There is a Darcy aunt hiding from society with her two young precious daughters, a Darcy uncle who may or may not be a spy married and his wife who thinks no one can tell she’s expecting, a great Aunt Darcy and her mischievous dog, then throw in Lady Catherine and the Bennet’s and you can’t help but laugh.
Don’t get me wrong the story has its serious moments but I loved being able to laugh out loud. This was a funny book.
Profile Image for Lisa Pianka.
5 reviews2 followers
December 16, 2020
Very different than any of the other variations I have read. Fun..well written..loved the inner musings of Elizabeth and the cast of zany characters!
Profile Image for Michelle Snow.
260 reviews7 followers
March 7, 2021
Best described as a farce or a romp. Some parts were laugh out loud funny, but it wore thin after a while. It got to the point where it felt like throwing spaghetti against a wall to see what sticks.
234 reviews
January 5, 2023
No me queda muy claro lo que he leido, y creo que los personajes se parecen a los originales únicamente en el nombre. Le doy las 2 estrellas por las conversaciones y escenas entre los 2, el resto del libro no me ha parecido que tuviera mucho sentido.
Profile Image for Kristy.
1,752 reviews10 followers
Read
January 27, 2025
DNF

I don't mind if a retelling strays a bit from the original, but this one was ridiculous from the getgo. Elizabeth Bennett would never.

I've had this Kindle book since 2020 and now I've deleted it.
Profile Image for Tammy.
55 reviews1 follower
December 5, 2020
Lost a star due to the need of a better editor and overkill of the word bloody. Other than that, it was an amusing P&P variation.
Profile Image for Francisca Bahamondes.
112 reviews3 followers
December 15, 2020
As I commented before this story is meant as a comedy, with a funny tone. Written in first person from Elizabeth's point of view. It is a story of accidental compromise at the Netherfield ball.

Elizabeth is not quite the Elizabeth we know, a bit more modern I guess. She makes humorous remarks throughout the book in a way that reminds of Bridget Jones, her inner dialogue is quite funny and her thoughts at certain events, but I also found the story a bit sad, like a lingering sadness and insecurity in the background.

Mr Darcy is quite an arse (and I agree with Elizabeth) for most of the story, and you really can't see any love there for most of the story, there are some warm glances, but he usually glares and rolls his eyes at her... mmmh, is he really falling in love? Where is that love? I just think he dismisses her most of the time and acts coldly. She sees him being nice with his family but he can't spare any kindness with her... can't feel the "sexy" part until like 70% of the book, but the problems don't end there, he keeps on being an arse for some more time...

At about 30% there are some things happening that I won't spoil, the way Lizzy tells it is funny and makes you laugh but I also wanted to cry for the way Mr Darcy treats her. At the beginning of the story Elizabeth counts the words Mr Darcy tells her on the way to London after the wedding, 13 words... I don't think that's really a man that was on the way to fall in love and suddenly finds himself married to that woman... OK, we know how Darcy felt about Elizabeth (and her family) at the ball and after it but he had actually asked her to dance...

I would have liked more chemistry shown between ODC, there is an instance that makes you really doubt if he is attracted to her at all (as he is supposed to be) And if you expect romance... not until late late in the book and sort of...

The way he treats her really makes you wonder how on earth could she fall in love. I mean, she tells it with humour, but it is actually sad (as I have said several times). He complains about her family but his family has quite the characters and she has to put up with them because most live at Darcy House.
I liked the introduction of these characters, all these Darcys being odd. I love his uncle and aunt Darcy, very nice (and Elizabeth feels jealous because she aspires to the relationship they have). I like Dora , and Sir Sebby (the dog xD).
I also like the twist in the Lydia-Wickham story.

Anyway, funny but not entirely my cup of tea. Also, it needs a lot of editing, there are many missing words, many repeated, back to front, and so on.
1,194 reviews29 followers
December 7, 2020
Humorous

This is a cartoonish, exaggerated, silly tale, and if you can just drop all expectations of anything realistic happening, then enjoy it for what it is. We all could use a good laugh right now, and there are many laugh-out-loud funny scenes. It begins with the Netherfield ball, when Elizabeth and Darcy both take refuge in Bingley's library, resulting in a compromising moment, which in turn results in a hasty marriage, unwanted by them both. As usual, Elizabeth really dislikes Darcy based on his insult at the assembly, but Darcy is fighting his strong attraction to her, meaning that the marriage is unwanted but welcome at the same time.

The fun begins when Elizabeth arrives at Darcy House in London, and a whole new cast of characters is introduced who are each strange or eccentric in their own ways. Between Darcy's family members and his acquaintances, it soon becomes apparent that Darcy has no room to criticize Elizabeth's family for any silliness, rudeness, or vulgarity. Then there's a dog that steals the show many times.

I deducted a star for my annoyance with the Elizabeth character. I love a humorous banter between Elizabeth and Darcy, but too many times she acts stupid, childish, and annoyingly self centered. It's meant, of course, to be funny, but crosses the line into whiny and petulant and too much like Lydia or Mrs Bennett. Also, the book could use a good proofreading. There are too-many-to-count cases of words missing, or words that should be removed, enough that it's definitely distracting.

However, the book is well written and well edited. I recommend it highly.
Profile Image for Yas.
151 reviews2 followers
November 18, 2022
What a delightful book.

It is a farce. And I laughed all along.

We are in Elizabeth’s mind, she is funny and witty, not refined in the least, no, that’s not true! Her thoughts are not refined. She makes jokes, call people names, takes no prisoners when describing other characters, but she is always on point in her descriptions. She is still JA’s Elizabeth, polite, with the behaviour expected of a gentlewoman of the beginning of the 19th century. We just could hear all the thoughts we could only imagine she could have. One cannot help but like her.
As for her Mr Darcy, well, he is as lovable as ever. He is still a “Snobbish Arse” (Elizabeth words, not mine), but a lovable, endearing one. In this book, the author concentrates on his Darcy relations, rather than the Fitzwilliams. We still have Lady Catherine, but just enough to like her presence. They all are realistic and appealing.

I really enjoyed Elizabeth and Mr Darcy’s relationship. We have all of JA’s ingredients but it is another recipe. However, this time nothing is overdone (as it can be in other JAFF). Even when Elizabeth is going mental (in her head), it is still believable.

It is a terrific read. And I recommend it heartily, especially if one is in search of a good story and a good laugh.



PS : what makes it even better is, Wickham is a mere anecdote… (anyone who has read other reviews of mine will know, that is a point in favour of this book)
Profile Image for Celia King.
161 reviews2 followers
March 6, 2024
DNF at 19%. I can understand why someone would like this, given its close POV style. However, I found the pacing to be abysmal and the style difficult to read. For instance, there will be two people talking with Elizabeth and the author will devote, no exaggeration, 2-3 ebook pages to those two chatting back and forth with no input at all from Elizabeth. To make things worse, there are no dialogue tags nor any non-dialogue commentary from Elizabeth. So imagine 3 pages of dialogue from characters you don't know arguing or flirting right in front of Elizabeth with little to no interiority in the writing or spoken response from her. The POV of this story is too precious, the characters too OOC, the plot too slow, the focus bizarre at so many points. It's like the author is doing a writing exercise where she can only write long stretches of dialogue or long stretches of summary text that makes the story feel extremely modern. Not a lot of period vibes with this one, nor any emotional connection to Elizabeth's plight. The lightness of the tone mixed with the influx of new characters doesn't pair well at all since she would be exposed to a lot of emotions we just don't see clearly, much less sympathize with given the way Elizabeth is presented. It doesn't really work on a writing, tone, emotional, historical, or even character level. Not recommended.

Pacing: 1.5/5
Writing: 1.5/5
Plot: 2.5/5
Character: 1.5/5
Period feel: 1/5
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