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Dear Stephen Michael's Mother A Memoir
“Dear Stephen Michael’s Mother is not simply a story of redemption; it is a vivid tale of the fall.” From first time author, Kevin Barhydt, comes a memoir of how a young boy abandoned, abused and addicted became a man with the hope, courage and resilience to seek out his biological mother.
Abandoned by his mother at birth, Kevin was enveloped in a labyrinth of adoption, addiction, and child sexual abuse. By age 20, a shell of the boy he once was, Kevin succumbed completely to a suicidal lifestyle of drug dealing and prostitution. At 45, after many years of recovery, Kevin began a painful journey to uncover his origins, and the hopeful search for his mother.
“Dear Stephen Michael’s Mother” chronicles the unfolding of these two stories. The interwoven perspectives offer an unflinching look at the myriad ways life can cloak us in darkness and helplessness yet still resonate with joy and recovery.
PRAISE FOR DEAR STEPHEN MICHAEL’S
"You read Kevin’s book for the story of a life lived beyond what seems survivable. You read it to learn that anything is possible, that the human spirit is as remarkable as some people say it is, more than miraculous."
Anne Heffron, author of "You Don't Look Adopted"
“Kevin’s story was no secret to me. Reading it made my heart bleed. This memoir is memorable; it is a gripping narrative, a detective novel told with a congenial and deceptive simplicity. The description of addiction – the cravings, bad decisions, withdrawal, and the endless drug seeking and general life chaos, the desperation and despair – tore through me, reminded me, terrified me. The search for family, the need for connection, for finding faces that mirror your own, was deeply familiar to me. And Oh the places one can go that Dr. Seuss could not begin to imagine, and yet to begin to imagine that one could, ever-so-slowly, climb out from the pit of shame and revulsion. It is not simply a story of redemption; it is a vivid tale of the fall.”
Arlene Lev, author, clinical social worker, family therapist, and educator
"Kevin Barhydt has written a powerful, intense, and searingly honest story of himself growing up adopted, suffering the feelings of abandonment and rejection so common to adoptees and so tragic in their effects on self-esteem and personal development. Barhydt has been uncompromising in covering the dark aspects of a life gone off the rails, making for difficult reading at times as he takes us into the details of his youthful history, but when he finally wakes up to the need to transform and redeem himself, we are thankful to read of his beginning healing and then joyful discovery of the family he'd always missed and longed for. This book may be of particular interest to other adoptees, all too many of whom have also suffered secondary addictions."
Linda Franklin, author of “I'll Always Carry A Mother's Story of Adoption, Loss, Grief, and Healing”
“This is not your typical addict-memoir. There are no celebrities, no athletes, politicians or rock stars or their offspring. Only ordinary people. Kevin Barhydt takes us deep into the dark labyrinth of cruelty and hopelessness that is the world of those who fall for the lies that narcotics and alcohol tell us. Addicts talk about hitting bottom, but Mr. Barhydt shows us there is no bottom. No matter how bad things get, they can always get worse. Sometimes with dark humor, other times with clear-eyed reporting, he gives us the true picture of men, women and children in a typical American community, whom we walk past everyday, seemingly fine, but underneath the surface fighting a losing battle for their sanity and finally, their lives. Just as honest too, is the story of Kevin's journey out of that existence. I was not sure he'd make it until the book's final sentence. This may not be for the casual reader, but if you or anyone you love struggles with addiction, you should read this book.”
Martin Egan, playwright, educator
Abandoned by his mother at birth, Kevin was enveloped in a labyrinth of adoption, addiction, and child sexual abuse. By age 20, a shell of the boy he once was, Kevin succumbed completely to a suicidal lifestyle of drug dealing and prostitution. At 45, after many years of recovery, Kevin began a painful journey to uncover his origins, and the hopeful search for his mother.
“Dear Stephen Michael’s Mother” chronicles the unfolding of these two stories. The interwoven perspectives offer an unflinching look at the myriad ways life can cloak us in darkness and helplessness yet still resonate with joy and recovery.
PRAISE FOR DEAR STEPHEN MICHAEL’S
"You read Kevin’s book for the story of a life lived beyond what seems survivable. You read it to learn that anything is possible, that the human spirit is as remarkable as some people say it is, more than miraculous."
Anne Heffron, author of "You Don't Look Adopted"
“Kevin’s story was no secret to me. Reading it made my heart bleed. This memoir is memorable; it is a gripping narrative, a detective novel told with a congenial and deceptive simplicity. The description of addiction – the cravings, bad decisions, withdrawal, and the endless drug seeking and general life chaos, the desperation and despair – tore through me, reminded me, terrified me. The search for family, the need for connection, for finding faces that mirror your own, was deeply familiar to me. And Oh the places one can go that Dr. Seuss could not begin to imagine, and yet to begin to imagine that one could, ever-so-slowly, climb out from the pit of shame and revulsion. It is not simply a story of redemption; it is a vivid tale of the fall.”
Arlene Lev, author, clinical social worker, family therapist, and educator
"Kevin Barhydt has written a powerful, intense, and searingly honest story of himself growing up adopted, suffering the feelings of abandonment and rejection so common to adoptees and so tragic in their effects on self-esteem and personal development. Barhydt has been uncompromising in covering the dark aspects of a life gone off the rails, making for difficult reading at times as he takes us into the details of his youthful history, but when he finally wakes up to the need to transform and redeem himself, we are thankful to read of his beginning healing and then joyful discovery of the family he'd always missed and longed for. This book may be of particular interest to other adoptees, all too many of whom have also suffered secondary addictions."
Linda Franklin, author of “I'll Always Carry A Mother's Story of Adoption, Loss, Grief, and Healing”
“This is not your typical addict-memoir. There are no celebrities, no athletes, politicians or rock stars or their offspring. Only ordinary people. Kevin Barhydt takes us deep into the dark labyrinth of cruelty and hopelessness that is the world of those who fall for the lies that narcotics and alcohol tell us. Addicts talk about hitting bottom, but Mr. Barhydt shows us there is no bottom. No matter how bad things get, they can always get worse. Sometimes with dark humor, other times with clear-eyed reporting, he gives us the true picture of men, women and children in a typical American community, whom we walk past everyday, seemingly fine, but underneath the surface fighting a losing battle for their sanity and finally, their lives. Just as honest too, is the story of Kevin's journey out of that existence. I was not sure he'd make it until the book's final sentence. This may not be for the casual reader, but if you or anyone you love struggles with addiction, you should read this book.”
Martin Egan, playwright, educator
282 pages, Kindle Edition
Published November 10, 2020
15 people are currently reading
41 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews
November 20, 2020
This memoir is a true story.
As I turn each page, I cannot stop reading this book! The reader is quickly immersed into the story. As soon as one chapter ends you must continue reading. The story is an emotional journey that pulls the reader through the abandonment of adoption, the pain of addiction and the horror of sexual abuse. The heartbreaking and uplifting novel is an absolute must read. This book is brilliantly penned by a first time author, Kevin Barhydt. “Dear Stephen Michaels Mother”, is exceptionally written, organized and presented. It transports the reader directly into the depths of despair, frustrations and life altering events as they are unfolding. We have a new author today, a brilliant shining star when we most need it most during these dark times. A story of hope and recovery, it is an amazing memoir. I cannot wait for the next book.
As I turn each page, I cannot stop reading this book! The reader is quickly immersed into the story. As soon as one chapter ends you must continue reading. The story is an emotional journey that pulls the reader through the abandonment of adoption, the pain of addiction and the horror of sexual abuse. The heartbreaking and uplifting novel is an absolute must read. This book is brilliantly penned by a first time author, Kevin Barhydt. “Dear Stephen Michaels Mother”, is exceptionally written, organized and presented. It transports the reader directly into the depths of despair, frustrations and life altering events as they are unfolding. We have a new author today, a brilliant shining star when we most need it most during these dark times. A story of hope and recovery, it is an amazing memoir. I cannot wait for the next book.
November 22, 2020
Kevin’s story is deeply moving. I had tears in my eyes multiple times while reading it.
I highly recommend this book not only to adoptees and adoptive parents, but to all parents, all teenagers and all who have troubles growing up. This book can give you a better understanding on how to communicate with your kids, how to digest pains coming from family, how to keep moving forward when life’s incredibly hard and how to find your inner peace and become a responsible and loving adult.
A famous line in a well-known Chinese movie: A person who has not been treated kindly can best recognize and treasure kindness. Kevin sure can. He, who suffered countless pains and misfortunate in the first half of his life, still chose to become a warm and kind person. This is the most admirable part.
Kevin’s writing is affective and easy to understand. As a person who speaks English as my second language, I have no problem reading and understanding Kevin’s story. Actually, I enjoy it a lot.
Life’s not easy for most people who are discussed in the book. Kevin’s capability to handle a great number of story lines is marvelous. One thing I really love about this book is how Kevin switches tense back and forth. It was an amazing, bold and innovative idea.
I am listening. We are all listening.
I highly recommend this book not only to adoptees and adoptive parents, but to all parents, all teenagers and all who have troubles growing up. This book can give you a better understanding on how to communicate with your kids, how to digest pains coming from family, how to keep moving forward when life’s incredibly hard and how to find your inner peace and become a responsible and loving adult.
A famous line in a well-known Chinese movie: A person who has not been treated kindly can best recognize and treasure kindness. Kevin sure can. He, who suffered countless pains and misfortunate in the first half of his life, still chose to become a warm and kind person. This is the most admirable part.
Kevin’s writing is affective and easy to understand. As a person who speaks English as my second language, I have no problem reading and understanding Kevin’s story. Actually, I enjoy it a lot.
Life’s not easy for most people who are discussed in the book. Kevin’s capability to handle a great number of story lines is marvelous. One thing I really love about this book is how Kevin switches tense back and forth. It was an amazing, bold and innovative idea.
I am listening. We are all listening.
November 21, 2021
Kevin Barhydt is a close friend of mine, and I have known him for a few years now. He has helped me fight my addiction from alcoholism and guided me through a twelve step program of recovery. Only catching glimpses of his past in our work together, I was more than intrigued to start reading Dear Stephen Michael’s Mother, A Memoir. With each turn of the page, I became mystified. The Kevin I know, was not the Kevin in these pages. His story is horrifying yet awe inspiring. The book keeps you on the edge of your seat as you read about the unimaginable hardships and turmoil Kevin had to endure but was able to overcome. The message in the book is one of hope. You may even call it miraculous. It is a reminder to never take for granted the invaluable gifts of family and love. I highly recommend this book, especially to those seeking a life full of intention and purpose.
November 21, 2021
Read a chapter, take a deep breath and reflect. I had to do this for each chapter. Not many books can touch your soul, not many can bring deep rooted emotions to the surface and still allow you to feel safe. As a former law enforcement officer who has dedicated his life to serving others, this booked opened my eyes to a side of humanity that I had to get into touch with. The connection the reader establishes with Kevin throughout the book is amazing. Take your own journey with Kevin and experience a bond that becomes intimate and delightful.
November 22, 2021
What a phenomenal read! The author literally pulls you into his life with every word. My heart just ached for him. He bravely bares his soul so that others who read his story and may have had similar experiences know they are not alone. For me, the true test of a great book is one that you still think about after you've finished it... this is THAT book. Thank you for sharing your story Kevin Barhydt!
December 3, 2020
Martha
5 Stars
Dear Stephen Michael’s Mother is the story of two journeys. The first is a story of addiction, the second is a story of adoption and the journey to find out who you are, where you came from. The book flips back and forth between the author’s childhood and his struggle as an adult to find his birth mother. At times it is hard to like Kevin. My god this guy can be awful. It is a necessary part of the story to help you understand addiction and why they do the things they do. Dear Stephen Michael’s Mother is also about the author’s journey to find his birth Mother with all the struggles, setbacks, heartbreaks and triumphs along the way.
Dear Stephen Michael’s Mother is a work of compelling honesty and gives you a rare insight into an addict’s motivations and thoughts. It is heartbreaking and at times difficult to read. It provides the reader details of the deceitful, brutal, hair raising tragic life of an addict. The book grabs you from the first page and slams you into the life of the main character. As an enabler of a drug addict Dear Stephen Michael’s Mother was an eye opener for me. It is my hope that Dear Stephen Michael’s Mother will help society better understand addict’s struggles and feel empathy for them.
Dear Stephen Michael’s Mother is an honest book that is very relevant in today’s society and worth reading. The book will stay with you long after reading it. I recommend Dear Stephen Michael’s Mother to anyone who may suffer from addiction themselves or anyone coping with an addict.
5 Stars
Dear Stephen Michael’s Mother is the story of two journeys. The first is a story of addiction, the second is a story of adoption and the journey to find out who you are, where you came from. The book flips back and forth between the author’s childhood and his struggle as an adult to find his birth mother. At times it is hard to like Kevin. My god this guy can be awful. It is a necessary part of the story to help you understand addiction and why they do the things they do. Dear Stephen Michael’s Mother is also about the author’s journey to find his birth Mother with all the struggles, setbacks, heartbreaks and triumphs along the way.
Dear Stephen Michael’s Mother is a work of compelling honesty and gives you a rare insight into an addict’s motivations and thoughts. It is heartbreaking and at times difficult to read. It provides the reader details of the deceitful, brutal, hair raising tragic life of an addict. The book grabs you from the first page and slams you into the life of the main character. As an enabler of a drug addict Dear Stephen Michael’s Mother was an eye opener for me. It is my hope that Dear Stephen Michael’s Mother will help society better understand addict’s struggles and feel empathy for them.
Dear Stephen Michael’s Mother is an honest book that is very relevant in today’s society and worth reading. The book will stay with you long after reading it. I recommend Dear Stephen Michael’s Mother to anyone who may suffer from addiction themselves or anyone coping with an addict.
Read
September 15, 2021This is a book that yanks you back and forth between despair and hope, horror and delight. It only partly resolves at the end, leaving you longing for the transition that can be assumed, but certainly must have compelling elements you want to know more about.
Want to read
November 21, 2021A story of adoption, addiction and abuse. I truly heartbreaking yet uplifting story. A must read for anyone in the adoption or addiction community.
February 14, 2021
I read this book in two weeks. It was the perfect storyline combination of "Running With Scissors" and "Dry" by Augusten Burroughs. An excellent story involving the emotional search for family and the devastating toll of drug and alcohol addiction.
Dear Stephen Michael's Mother: A Memoir
Dear Stephen Michael's Mother: A Memoir
Read
May 3, 2021I found this book very interesting and although some of the sordid details of his life while under the influence were a little tough to imagine, I know first hand that the demons of addiction can make us do terrible things. I was relieved to learn in the end that after all Kevin went through he found sobriety and his biological family. Good book 👍
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 27, 2021
This memoir is phenomenal. An extremely well written account of the author’s struggles with abuse, addiction and recovery as a teenager/young adult woven seamlessly with his his struggles with abandonment and his search for his biological family. A emotionally powerful, real, honest book I could not put down! Without doubt, an absolute must read.
January 4, 2021
In full disclosure, I bought and read this book because I know the author and consider him a friend. Because of this and the fact that I have never had a personal acquaintance who wrote a memoir, I did not know what to expect as I started to read this. Although I knew that Kevin was in remission from a substance use disorder, and knew he had been adopted and experienced abuse as a child, I did not know any more than that. I was expecting an addiction memoir, but found that Dear Stephen Michael’s Mother was much more than that. This book was not really about Kevin’s addiction and recovery, though he did describe how he began using drugs and alcohol and how he eventually made the decision to stop using them. Although I hadn’t been sure what to expect, after the first chapter or so, I found myself drawn into the story and wanting to read more. When I had a few days where I was too busy to get back to the book, I found myself thinking about it and really wanting to go back to it, staying up too late just to read a little more, then a little more. I also found myself moved to tears a number of times, and usually I am not the teary type when reading. I cannot recommend this book highly enough. I recommend this book not only for those who themselves are experiencing or have experienced abuse, addiction, or have been on any side of the adoption process, but also for those who enjoy memoirs, and for readers who want to understand more about the human condition - with all our fallibility and resilience and strength. I plan to recommend this to my friends and family, and suspect most readers will do the same.
January 2, 2021
I am new to a love of memoirs. This tale is captivating, raw at times, amusing at others and ultimately salvific.
As one familiar with the limitations and utter missteps of juvenile court system, Kevin’s descriptions of his appetite for a thrill were spot on and enlightening. His struggles with acceptable behavior and internal rebellion were believable and engaging. As a reader, I entered into his early years with a deep appreciation for his willingness to bring me into his thoughts. I found it hard to put the book down.
As Kevin’s addictions and the multiple abuses that ensued became all consuming, that same gift for authenticity made it necessary for me to read smaller sections at a time. The brutal truths and death seeking reality of his late teens and twenties demanded a great deal of this reader. That darkness, while taxing, is part of Kevin’s gift as a sharer of his truth. This despair was interlaced with an equally compelling story of his middle aged search for his birth family. Tears of joy often filled my eyes causing a different reason for reading smaller sections.
This memoir is not for the faint hearted. I deeply appreciate Kevin’s authentic presentation of horrific circumstances as well as a brilliant recounting of his reemergence as one who affirms life.
As one familiar with the limitations and utter missteps of juvenile court system, Kevin’s descriptions of his appetite for a thrill were spot on and enlightening. His struggles with acceptable behavior and internal rebellion were believable and engaging. As a reader, I entered into his early years with a deep appreciation for his willingness to bring me into his thoughts. I found it hard to put the book down.
As Kevin’s addictions and the multiple abuses that ensued became all consuming, that same gift for authenticity made it necessary for me to read smaller sections at a time. The brutal truths and death seeking reality of his late teens and twenties demanded a great deal of this reader. That darkness, while taxing, is part of Kevin’s gift as a sharer of his truth. This despair was interlaced with an equally compelling story of his middle aged search for his birth family. Tears of joy often filled my eyes causing a different reason for reading smaller sections.
This memoir is not for the faint hearted. I deeply appreciate Kevin’s authentic presentation of horrific circumstances as well as a brilliant recounting of his reemergence as one who affirms life.
January 3, 2021
This book was amazing! I had trouble when ai had to put it down, even briefly. I finished it around 4 am. It was raw and hard to read at times. I cried. I never once felt sorry for Kevin but many times wanted to hug him. I especially like how he managed to tell everything without glamorizing his old life. As a former substance abuse counselor, I have seen many addicts tell stories of their drug and/or alcohol use as something that they are proud of. They treat their drug of choice as a god. Understandable for an addict a drug is their god while in use. I think everyone should read “Dear Stephen Michael’s Mother”. For an addict who hasn’t hit rock bottom they can see that addiction takes you where you don’t want to go and keeps you longer than you want to stay. It may, I hope, want them to seek help as well. For a non-drug addict, alcoholic (I don’t say addict as everyone is addicted to something) it just may keep them from going there. Kevin, thank you for telling your story. I appreciate it.
July 21, 2021
OMG ! How the hell is the author still alive? To chastise or hug him, that is the question.
Unfortunately, I was so engrossed that I neglected to take notes as I read Dear Stephen Michael’s Mother. So my review is going to be a bit random. In fact, it is difficult to summarise what I felt about it. It was so profoundly moving, and it provoked so many conflicting emotions that it is almost impossible to organise my thoughts into any sort of coherent sense. But rest assured, I have babbled incoherently about it to whoever I happen to meet.
I found myself moved and shocked in equal measure. I don’t think I’ve ever read anything by anyone as brutally honest as this. It opened my eyes to the pain that so many people go through. It reminded me that behind us all (and I mean, ALL) there is a back story.
I winced, cried, laughed, and gasped as I read; all the while reassuring myself that somehow or other the author must have lived to tell the tale. And tell it, he did. Excellently! It is well constructed, avoiding the pitfalls of many memoirs... “I did this, then I did this, then I did that; all the way from A to Z...” Kevin’s book connects the past to the present in twists and turns, and slick about-face moves. He is really an accomplished author and I take my hat off to him.
I didn’t think much about adoption when little, apart from fantasising about myself. I was sure I was a long-lost princess fostered out so I’d grow up humble. Sooner or later, a Rolls Royce was bound to turn up to whisk me off to a palace somewhere. (It never did, by the way).
However, as an adult, I’ve met people keen to adopt, and felt their pain, anxiety, hope as they’ve gone through the process. I have friends who foster children and tell me it is incredibly rewarding (although at times heartbreaking), and I’ve watched and cried over TV shows about people tracking down their birth parents. But nothing could prepare me for this raw, gut-wrenching confession/unburdening of this man’s life story.
I’m delighted he survived. I’m not going to tell you how he did (because I'm not sure). Although there were major external factors that helped, of course, I think the strength really was his alone. Kevin himself doesn’t go on and on about who/what 'saved' him, but I’m just glad it did. I’m glad he found family.
I admire and respect the author more than I can express. Read it! This book will change you for the better, even while haunting you.
Unfortunately, I was so engrossed that I neglected to take notes as I read Dear Stephen Michael’s Mother. So my review is going to be a bit random. In fact, it is difficult to summarise what I felt about it. It was so profoundly moving, and it provoked so many conflicting emotions that it is almost impossible to organise my thoughts into any sort of coherent sense. But rest assured, I have babbled incoherently about it to whoever I happen to meet.
I found myself moved and shocked in equal measure. I don’t think I’ve ever read anything by anyone as brutally honest as this. It opened my eyes to the pain that so many people go through. It reminded me that behind us all (and I mean, ALL) there is a back story.
I winced, cried, laughed, and gasped as I read; all the while reassuring myself that somehow or other the author must have lived to tell the tale. And tell it, he did. Excellently! It is well constructed, avoiding the pitfalls of many memoirs... “I did this, then I did this, then I did that; all the way from A to Z...” Kevin’s book connects the past to the present in twists and turns, and slick about-face moves. He is really an accomplished author and I take my hat off to him.
I didn’t think much about adoption when little, apart from fantasising about myself. I was sure I was a long-lost princess fostered out so I’d grow up humble. Sooner or later, a Rolls Royce was bound to turn up to whisk me off to a palace somewhere. (It never did, by the way).
However, as an adult, I’ve met people keen to adopt, and felt their pain, anxiety, hope as they’ve gone through the process. I have friends who foster children and tell me it is incredibly rewarding (although at times heartbreaking), and I’ve watched and cried over TV shows about people tracking down their birth parents. But nothing could prepare me for this raw, gut-wrenching confession/unburdening of this man’s life story.
I’m delighted he survived. I’m not going to tell you how he did (because I'm not sure). Although there were major external factors that helped, of course, I think the strength really was his alone. Kevin himself doesn’t go on and on about who/what 'saved' him, but I’m just glad it did. I’m glad he found family.
I admire and respect the author more than I can express. Read it! This book will change you for the better, even while haunting you.
February 9, 2021
Heartbreaking but powerful story of adoption, addiction, and personal destruction but also one of hope and perseverance. I wanted to reach into the pages and try to save Kevin from himself, knowing he had to walk through the fire to come out on the other side.
A tough and harrowing read at times but it’s SO worth completing the these parts of the Kevin’s journey through life...so far. The structure of the book flips between his painful teen years and his later search for his birth family. This combination makes for a suspenseful and fast-paced read filled with struggles, setbacks, triumphs and above all, LOVE.
As other reviewers have disclosed, I’ve known the author for over twenty years but the full story was new to me. We lost touch a few times over the decades but have periodically reconnected — and I’m so happy we did.
A tough and harrowing read at times but it’s SO worth completing the these parts of the Kevin’s journey through life...so far. The structure of the book flips between his painful teen years and his later search for his birth family. This combination makes for a suspenseful and fast-paced read filled with struggles, setbacks, triumphs and above all, LOVE.
As other reviewers have disclosed, I’ve known the author for over twenty years but the full story was new to me. We lost touch a few times over the decades but have periodically reconnected — and I’m so happy we did.
December 13, 2020
No one should read this book, but then again no one should live the life that lead to writing it. If you suspect truth is too close to your own bones to trust the outcome of addled choices, then these pages will house your soul. The shift from dope to hope has been well documented, from time to time, but this writing is deeper than anecdotes, more torrid than safely filtered memoirs. The sweaty details stain every page. There is a light here, a pulse, a birthright returned from layers and layers of hell. Do not take this journey, this journal lightly, but take it if you've ever wondered what grace a volcano contains, what meaning there is to your next breath, what people really desire and deserve from each other.
June 1, 2021
Kevin Barhydt's life is a movie. Annnnnd it's not rated PG! This might be the juiciest memoir I've ever read. I've been recommending it to every person in my life who struggles with addiction and am so grateful that Kevin decided to tell his story. It helped me understand myself in ways I didn't even know I needed. It's not a feel good, easy read, but I think it's necessary if you want to level up in your own life.
December 12, 2020
This book is an unflinching, raw, unapologetic confession of the author's soul. Something with which I am painfully familiar. Stories like Kevin's have the power to make you look inward and can help anyone struggling with addiction and trauma.
It's a compelling read and I couldn't put it down! I'm still processing the bittersweet end.
It's a compelling read and I couldn't put it down! I'm still processing the bittersweet end.
June 21, 2021
Reads like a novel. But it’s true!
Wonderful structure of the 2 parallel stories. Best of all is the expressive language used to describe in detail the anguish of finding his birth mother and the hell of addiction. The book ends with success in recovery and in finding his family.
Wonderful structure of the 2 parallel stories. Best of all is the expressive language used to describe in detail the anguish of finding his birth mother and the hell of addiction. The book ends with success in recovery and in finding his family.
February 1, 2022
Sharing the brutal truth is never an easy path. Kevin holds nothing back in his memoir Dear Stephen Michael’s Mother. I felt as if I was walking alongside him in the perplexing mystery of finding his biological mother. My heart palpitated as I turned each page which graphically detailed the horrors of his alcohol and drug addiction. With every sentence I found myself praying that this story would turn out to be fiction. How much could one person survive?
I do not know Kevin, but I can assuredly tell you that his courage knows no boundaries. He willingly allows the reader to step into the darkness of trauma, the heaviness of choosing whatever is necessary to get the drug fix, and the whirlwind of trying to operate a life while addiction is actually running the show. It is a roller coaster ride till the end.
Amidst the darkness… light will prevail. Mr. Barhydt imparts his profound honesty with a message of mercy. I was transfixed by his ability to rise above all that had befallen him. His message of hope colors the final chapters proving that anyone can rise from the depths of despair, addiction, and loss. There can be redemption…grace is indeed possible.
I admire Mr. Barhydt for his bravery to convey what so many do not understand about addiction. I also admire his tenacity in the search for the woman who gave him life. His ability to illuminate the absolute suffering of the human spirit on both these matters was indeed a journey.
Thank you Kevin for shining your light upon the darkness so that others might see. It takes monumental courage to tell the truth…but the truth shall set us free. I am grateful you are here to tell it.
I do not know Kevin, but I can assuredly tell you that his courage knows no boundaries. He willingly allows the reader to step into the darkness of trauma, the heaviness of choosing whatever is necessary to get the drug fix, and the whirlwind of trying to operate a life while addiction is actually running the show. It is a roller coaster ride till the end.
Amidst the darkness… light will prevail. Mr. Barhydt imparts his profound honesty with a message of mercy. I was transfixed by his ability to rise above all that had befallen him. His message of hope colors the final chapters proving that anyone can rise from the depths of despair, addiction, and loss. There can be redemption…grace is indeed possible.
I admire Mr. Barhydt for his bravery to convey what so many do not understand about addiction. I also admire his tenacity in the search for the woman who gave him life. His ability to illuminate the absolute suffering of the human spirit on both these matters was indeed a journey.
Thank you Kevin for shining your light upon the darkness so that others might see. It takes monumental courage to tell the truth…but the truth shall set us free. I am grateful you are here to tell it.
November 28, 2021
If a book doesn’t grab me from the beginning, I confess I will put it down after a few pages and maybe come back to it later, or just move on to something else.
I didn’t put this one down. At least not until it got so intense that I had to take a short break from it to process and regroup. Truly, this book took me through so many strong emotions that I really had no choice but to sit for moments to ponder the realities of his remarkable story.
When I read this book, I felt as though I got into the heart and soul of the author who seemed to hold nothing back. As the reader, you may think of yourself as a priest hearing the confession of a sinner that wants to lay out everything no holds barred, so that he can move on with the absolution only total unfiltered honesty can give you.
This is the true story of the author’s journey that began as a baby given up for adoption. It’s the story of a troubled youth, and simultaneously the story of a grown man on a quest to find his biological mother and discover his heritage.
The author, Kevin Barhydt, is obviously intelligent, but he also doesn't gussy up his words. He talks straight, with an openness and honesty rarely seen.
I don't think there's anyone who wouldn't benefit from reading this book. However, this book is especially meaningful to anyone who has, or knows someone, who has felt lost and abandoned, and in the end found that it does get better.
I didn’t put this one down. At least not until it got so intense that I had to take a short break from it to process and regroup. Truly, this book took me through so many strong emotions that I really had no choice but to sit for moments to ponder the realities of his remarkable story.
When I read this book, I felt as though I got into the heart and soul of the author who seemed to hold nothing back. As the reader, you may think of yourself as a priest hearing the confession of a sinner that wants to lay out everything no holds barred, so that he can move on with the absolution only total unfiltered honesty can give you.
This is the true story of the author’s journey that began as a baby given up for adoption. It’s the story of a troubled youth, and simultaneously the story of a grown man on a quest to find his biological mother and discover his heritage.
The author, Kevin Barhydt, is obviously intelligent, but he also doesn't gussy up his words. He talks straight, with an openness and honesty rarely seen.
I don't think there's anyone who wouldn't benefit from reading this book. However, this book is especially meaningful to anyone who has, or knows someone, who has felt lost and abandoned, and in the end found that it does get better.
November 24, 2021
I am a memoir lover and this one is likely the most challenging stories and personal journey I've ever read. It feels awkward to say how much I "enjoyed' this book due to its' content but it was a riveting story of the journey of adoption, addiction, sexual abuse and indoctrination, prostitution and the path to redemption and recovery. If you know anyone struggling, this book is especially for them. If you are fortunate to not have had these life experiences but enjoy a story about overcoming even the slimmest of odds to find hope, family and success, it is wonderful as well. Kudos to Kevin for sharing a brutally honest, non-filtered portrayal of his life. There is nothing flowery here, just straight shooting honest talk about what these struggles look like.
February 17, 2022
This book will make your jaw drop. What the author has been through, as an adoptee, as a survivor of sexual abuse, and as a substance abuser is just an incredible story. How he lived through all he did, and wound up leading a life full of love and purpose is a story you just have to read for yourself. Mr. Barhydt is an inspiration to anyone looking to feel hope and looking to get their act together. You won't be able to put this book down. Amazing story and amazing person.
Lise Deguire, author of Flashback Girl: Lessons on Resilience from a Burn Survivor.
Lise Deguire, author of Flashback Girl: Lessons on Resilience from a Burn Survivor.
June 22, 2023
This is a hard book to rate because it is a true story of someone's life, so it's their story to tell. But I had to go with a 3-star rating because of the way it was written.
This story is good and takes you on the journey of the life of someone that has been adopted. The problem was the way it was put together - all the back and forth- it was confusing to stay up with and then parts were left out and you never know what happens, leaving a lot of things unresolved.
This story is good and takes you on the journey of the life of someone that has been adopted. The problem was the way it was put together - all the back and forth- it was confusing to stay up with and then parts were left out and you never know what happens, leaving a lot of things unresolved.
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December 22, 2021This memoir struck me deeper than I expected. The way he juxtaposes the two stories of his youth and adulthood is vulnerable and deeply moving. I was along for the ride for this up and down, emotional journey. And through reading his story, it gives me a lesson in resilience and gives me hope. Everyone can gain something from this memoir.
November 25, 2021
Excellent Read--The author is a shining example of how life on earth gives you junk, what you choose to do with the junk is up to you--he choose to live life in recovery, leaning into God's great gifts.
July 28, 2025
Thank you for sharing your life with me, I can't imagine how hard it was.
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