Mary's Last Dance: The untold story of the wife of Mao's Last Dancer

by Mary Li

The highly anticipated memoir of Australian ballerina Mary Li - and the long-awaited sequel to her husband Li Cunxin's bestselling memoir, Mao's Last Dancer.

Mary's Last Dance is a powerful and uplifting memoir about chasing an impossible dream, and sacrificing one's own ambition for the love of a child. It is a moving and unforgettable story of passion, dedication and devotion - and the highly anticipated sequel to one of the world's most beloved books.

Mary Li (nee McKendry) is an international ballet star and a mother like no other. She became a household name when her husband Li Cunxin published his bestselling memoir, Mao's Last Dancer - but that book told only half the story.

Growing up in a rambunctious family in Rockhampton, Mary discovered an extraordinary early passion for ballet. It saw her move to London at age sixteen, to study at the Royal Ballet School and dance at the London Festival Ballet with the likes of Nureyev, and later to Houston Ballet, where as Principal Dancer she fell in love with the acclaimed dancer Li Cunxin. The couple became the darlings of the dance world, and were happier than they could have imagined at the arrival of their firstborn daughter, Sophie.

Then right at the height of her international career, Mary seemingly disappeared from view. What could have happened to cause a woman so committed, so talented, to give it all away in a heartbeat? Now, almost twenty years on, we learn what happened next to this inspiring family, and why it is Mary's turn to tell a truly remarkable tale.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Book Club, Audiobook, Biography Memoir, Biography, Autobiography

480 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 3, 2020

Reviews

[Rosemary Atwell · Rating 2 out of 5]

An honest autobiography yet I can’t help feeling that Mary Li still grapples with ending her career in order to concentrate on her daughter’s disability.

There’s a tremendous ego on show throughout ‘Mary’s Last Dancer,’ which I’m not sure has favoured her journey. Although she insists that Sophie has urged her to write this, it also feels both a necessary and cathartic act in itself.

But I’m in awe of the Cunxin family - their achievements, their passion, their commitment - and I feel very sad that both Li and Mary now have significant health issues to manage.

I now look forward to reading ‘Mao’s Last Dancer.’

[Louise Fisher]

Mary's Last Dance by Mary Li - for those of you who were lucky enough to read (or see the wonderful movie) of Mao's Last Dancer by Li Cunxin - this is the other half of the family story, written by Li's remarkable wife Mary.
Like Li, Mary too was a world class ballerina. At the height of their dancing careers, they met in Houston, danced together on stage, fell in love, got married and soon started a family.
Beautiful Sophie was born and she certainly was the love of their young lives. Mary and Li juggled their busy dancing career, looking after their baby girl, as she seemed to be reaching all her developmental milestones . It was one day when a loud balloon popped right next to Sophie and she never reacted that it sent alarm bells sounding out to both parents.
Both Li and Mary's world was turned upside down when Sophie was tested and it was discovered that she was profoundly deaf.
Both Li and Mary, the most energetic, determined, focused parents I know, were about to embark on a journey with Sophie that will leave you spellbound.
Mary, at the peak of her brilliant career, gave it all up for the love of her daughter.
In this almost 500 page memoir you will learn so much about sacrifice, making choices, the journey and experiences in a deaf world, but most of all you will learn about unconditional love.
When I first started the book, I found it a touch too detailed with family information, but then once Sophie came along, I could do nothing but read. I cried great big tears as I fell in love with each and every member of this extraordinary family. I adored how they all embraced the Chinese culture. I loved their time in Melbourne as I could relate to so many places in my home town.
Sophie my love, you are one exceptional young lady and Mary and Li, thank you for sharing this raw account of life with the Li family. Loved you all.

[Bethany · Rating 2 out of 5]

The first half about the ballet career was interesting. The second half is mostly a story about raising the family, focusing on deaf, eldest child, Sophie. It's a painful read, full of blatant ableism , and it seems Mary never thought to read a book on what it's like to be a deaf person trying to live in a hearing world. She comes across as a helicopter parent to the extreme, trying to keep control over Sophie's life, and she can't even be bothered to learn how to sign.

[Marj · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked this book up because I adored Mao's Last Dancer. This is Mary's story, canvassing her childhood in sunny Queensland, becoming a ballet star, meeting Li Cunix, having children, and forgoing her ballet career.

Although Mary's story is interesting, the writing is one-dimensional and lacks depth. Subsequently I didn't really connect to Mary despite the many highs and lows she experienced. I could feel however, the deep connection and commitment between Li and Mary, and their combined love of ballet.

[Louise Fisher · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mary's Last Dance by Mary Li - for those of you who were lucky enough to read (or see the wonderful movie) of Mao's Last Dancer by Li Cunxin - this is the other half of the family story, written by Li's remarkable wife Mary.
Like Li, Mary too was a world class ballerina. At the height of their dancing careers, they met in Houston, danced together on stage, fell in love, got married and soon started a family.
Beautiful Sophie was born and she certainly was the love of their young lives. Mary and Li juggled their busy dancing career, looking after their baby girl, as she seemed to be reaching all her developmental milestones . It was one day when a loud balloon popped right next to Sophie and she never reacted that it sent alarm bells sounding out to both parents.
Both Li and Mary's world was turned upside down when Sophie was tested and it was discovered that she was profoundly deaf.
Both Li and Mary, the most energetic, determined, focused parents I know, were about to embark on a journey with Sophie that will leave you spellbound.
Mary, at the peak of her brilliant career, gave it all up for the love of her daughter.
In this almost 500 page memoir you will learn so much about sacrifice, making choices, the journey and experiences in a deaf world, but most of all you will learn about unconditional love.
When I first started the book, I found it a touch too detailed with family information, but then once Sophie came along, I could do nothing but read. I cried great big tears as I fell in love with each and every member of this extraordinary family. I adored how you all embraced the Chinese culture. I loved your time in Melbourne as I could relate to so many places in my home town.
Sophie my love, you are one exceptional young lady and Mary and Li, thank you for sharing this raw account of life with the Li family. Loved you all.

[sarahemma · Rating 2 out of 5]

Im not going to lie, Mary ticked me off for the majority of this book. She comes across as someone who is incredibly spoilt and used to getting their own way and won't take 'no' for an answer. Which can sometimes be a good quality, but it just made her seem rude and like a know-it-all here. And the way she hinders her daughter's development and keeps saying there's something 'wrong' with her is ridiculous and annoying. I can understand that she thought she was doing what was right and likely where my annoyance comes from is hindsight, but it made this book really hard to read.

[Sarah Moritz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Felt nostalgic reading the other side of Li Cunxin's life but also admiration for everything that Mary and Sophie had to endure! Loved reading about the influence of Speech Pathologists in aiding their deaf daughter Sophie's communication.

[Patsy Bourke · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mary McKendry tells the story of her life from her childhood in Rockhampton in a large happy family, the start to her ballet life and how at 16 she moved to London to commence her ballet career.

The book is in six separate stages covering the different locations in which she has lived for phases of her life and career. This includes her early professional life in London; the move to a principal at Houston Ballet where she meets her dance and later life partner Li Cunxin, and the birth of her first two children Sophie and Tom. 16 years later she the family moves to Melbourne where the third child Bridie is born and the last phase in Brisbane with the book finishing in 2018 with all children establishing their own lives and careers.

The major focus of the second half is Sophie who at 18 months is found to be profoundly deaf. From soon after that the focus of Mary's life is directed towards strategies to support her daughter to be part of the hearing world.

Parts of the book are delightful reading and for those not from the world a ballet a great insight to what is required to become a principal of a major company. It was disappointing that with the amount of travel that was undertaken, that there is little commentary on those experiences. The trips to China to see Li's family were interesting and given that so much has changed in the recent past, such opportunities are not likely to be available perhaps for some time.

It is a memoir and written in an uncomplicated way. It could have benefitted from a bit more editing, there was a lot of repetition of feelings about the same things. Overall it is an interesting companion read to 'Mao's Last Dancer' from the perspective of a woman whose career was shortened to maximise the development of a child with a significant disability.

[Anna Bandiera · Rating 1 out of 5]

I don't like to write harsh reviews...But... If you are expecting a ballet book keep scrolling cause this is not it...this is a book about someone who was a ballerina becoming an overbearing forceful mother of a child living with a disability.....a disability that it appears the author never came to accept...not really ..This was really poorly written and terribly narrated (I listened to the audio book) I can actually forgive both of those things, what I can't forgive is the blatant prejudice against the deaf community. I understand that it is intended to show a journey, but at no point does it really show the author finding a more balanced perspective or correcting her outdated views. I persevered with this book because I had hoped that she would have a redemptive story to tell...... Read it, if you have the patience to sift past the long play by play of every facet of her life......and feel free to disagree with me.

[Grace Walker · Rating 2 out of 5]

I felt "talked at" the entire book. I really wanted to like this book, but it was so different to Mao's last dance, which was sincere and I felt for his plight. Mary had a fortunuate life and spends the book recounting most of her memories. Although she undergoes challenges such as moving and helping Sophie, I kept finding myself rolling my eyes. Her challenges came across as entitled, first world problems. With Sophie it feels like she only writes to justify her choices with a defensive tone. Until the end, when Sophie is grown up, its like Mary spends the entire time talking about how much she has sacrificed and how hard she has it. This came across as self-entitled. I didn't click with Mary or her story, because I found her to be so focused on the outcomes she wished for at the detriment of other options. I feel the book written by Sophie would have been a much greater read.

[Suz Bennett]

Interesting story with lots of name-dropping of people in the ballet world. Found the writing a bit ordinary.

[Cindy · Rating 5 out of 5]

An interesting account of how Mary and Li became partners and the influence they had on each others' lives.

[Dianne · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was quite ambivalent about this book. Loved Mao's Last Dancer, and was interested to hear the story of his wife, Mary McKendry. She appears to have been a dedicated, talented, deeply committed dancer and I've had loved to see her dance.

The story of her early training and life, and then the beginning of her career in the UK, was very interesting and informative. However, once she and Li Cunxin married, had their first child, and discovered that their new daughter is profoundly deaf, the story got bogged down for me.

Somehow Mary's obsessive need for Sophie not to learn sign language, but to strive for life in the hearing/speaking world, just seemed hard-hearted and ego-driven to me. Maybe it was just my state of mind at the time, but I felt more sympathy for the "between a rock and a hard place" Sophie was experiencing than for her mother's passionate need for her daughter not to be seen as part of the deaf community.

[Alexandra Brooks · Rating 3 out of 5]

My mother loved this and implored me to read it. While I loved Mao’s Last Dancer the only interesting thing about this book was that Mary was one of eight kids and hearing about her family life was fascinating. Sadly, ballerinas are not all that interesting when they have their tutus off. It’s all hard work, discipline and total dedication to their craft. It’s an OK read.

[Sarah Jones · Rating 3 out of 5]

Having previously read Mao’s Last Dancer, it was a joy to read about Mary and Li’s story from another perspective. Much of the book deals with how this family of high achievers copes when their eldest daughter, Sophie is given a life-changing diagnosis. More Sophie’s story than Mary’s at times, ‘Mary’s Last Dance’ was an interesting, fly-on-the-wall insight into how Li and Mary tackled the obstacles of a cross-cultural marriage, their demanding careers as professional ballet dancers and the challenges of parenting a child with special needs.

Though quite long and detailed, the narrative flowed well and it was an enjoyable read.

[Elaine · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an interesting, easy read. It helps if you have read Li Cunxin’s memoir.
Growing up in a family of 8 children in Rockhampton, Mary was encouraged by her parents to follow her passion and talent for ballet. She was fortunate that they had the means to pay for her lessons and to support her when she went to London to further her studies. In time she became a world class dancer. The memoir could have done with a good edit. However, her strength of character shows through.

[Leonie Chivers · Rating 3 out of 5]

A bit of a slog in the beginning, but an incredibly honest account of motherhood, dreams and deafness. The last third of the book was deeply thought provoking, about the choices we make for our children when they're little, and how those turn out to affect their lives in ways we might not have considered.

[Irina · Rating 2 out of 5]

Well, if you enjoyed Mao’s Last Dancer - don’t bother reading this one. You’ll be disappointed. Written by an extremely self centred wife of a very talented ballet dancer, the book provides… nothing really. Too many names, too many house moves, too much travelling (US-Australia-China), too much attention to one child (out of three) and… nothing to enjoy or inspire 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Trinnnnaaaa · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars…first half was good and enjoyed the rocky nostalgia and overall the story was mostly engaging but the second half was a bit tedious. Also felt it was too long and needed a tighter edit, audio book felt a bit like being talked at.

[Barbara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mary's story shines with love, kindness, and warmth. It is one of courage & perseverance in the face of overwhelming challenges, of self-discipline, humility, and generosity.
She shares with disarming honesty, the triumphs and failures of parenting their profoundly deaf daughter. In some ways, this is Sophie's story!
The unconditional love & commitment Mary and Li have to each other, their children, and to their families, is fundamental to her life.
An inspiration and encouragement on several levels!

[Debbie Terranova · Rating 4 out of 5]

Easy-to-read memoir, written by the other half of the Li ballet phenomenon. A story of success despite the odds, perseverance in the face of adversity, and a whole lot of hard work.

[Theresa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cried my eyes out at the very end. Extraordinary family. As a Mum this moves me deeply emotionally. As a Mum of a young dancer this was insightful & educational! As a regular attendee of The Queensland Ballets Nutcracker the Li & Mary Cunxin story blew me away! Outstanding Sophie & Mary Li.

[Elkaza · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book took me a long time to read, due to the busy season of Christmas, therefore couldn't get into it. However, it is a wonderful story how a woman grew up in a large family, within small country town - bush here in Australia, but made it overseas in the Ballet. But, gave it all up when it was learnt her oldest child was born death. Even, then it was a struggle bewteen mother and daughter. Yet, like always Love always win. Thus, if you want to read a book about a mother's love, this is it!

[Jan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fascinating story of Mary's life from a Rockhampton childhood to ballet star, to wife and mother of a daughter with profound deafness, to learning to let go and develop her own life again. A good read, especially for fans of Mao's Las t Dancer. not especially well written but interesting to learn about Mary.

[Mika T · Rating 3 out of 5]

While the story of Mary’s life as a Queenslander working towards becoming an internationally acclaimed ballet dancer/coach was super interesting, there were many parts of this book that made me feel uncomfortable and frustrated. These parts were full of signs of ‘white privilege’ and Mary’s lack of knowledge and understanding towards other people with diverse cultural and linguistic backgrounds. In saying that, I enjoyed reading about Mary’s perspectives and her honest experiences in supporting people from different country and raising a Deaf child.

There was a part where Mary’s extended family moved to Australia from China to study English. And Mary talked about how tricky it was to deal with their ‘English difficulties’. Also, Mary argued that she wanted to raise her Deaf child as hearing/speaking person because signing is not part of the ‘normal world’. These comments almost felt like a slap in the face. Okay maybe not as harsh as a slap but it felt like icy water running down my spine. While Mary felt she was dealing with these ‘difficult situations’, she never bothered to learn Chinese or sign language to support them better or at least in a different way. Mary kept saying ‘only if she could communicate with her daughter’ and gave her Deaf daughter relentless speech bombardment, but they could have communicated much easier and quicker if both of them learned to sign.

Would Mary have made her child run and play basketball if they were born without legs? Probably not, she would have provided a wheel chair and renovated her house to accommodate for their needs. Just because deafness is invisible, it doesn’t mean we can push hearing and speaking ‘normalcy’ to a Deaf person. It breaks my heart to imagine Sophie’s isolation and frustration being forced to live in a way that was excruciatingly difficult for her.

Mary’s side of story sounded like everyone else had to accommodate and work hard to fit in to her world. She never once mentioned she had ‘Chinese difficulties’ or that she should be part of the Deaf community. Speaking Chinese language and signing is definitely ‘normal’ in any part of the world.

Didn’t hate the book at all though, in fact I’ve been talking to my Deaf friends and friends who are Auslan learners about this story, especially because I found out from reading this book that Sophie was my very first Auslan teacher! Deaf community is so small and wonderful, and I love it. I hope Mary will find a space in her life to learn Auslan and be part of the Deaf community instead of waiting for everyone else to join the English-speaking world.

[Teagan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had absolutely no idea this book was coming out until a colleague mentioned it to me, I am so glad that she did too as it was a beautiful story that deserves it's own standing ovation. I downloaded this read through Audible and listened to it whenever I can.

Here are my thoughts as I read:
-I really liked listening to Mary's family background and how she become a Ballerina, even though she is from Rockhampton!
-Her ballet school sounded so wonderful and supportive, even within a competitive environment of dance.
-I loved listening about her early career. He move to London in the 70s, a place that would have been oh-so different to Rockhampton and so far away from her family in the days when instant messaging, mobile phones and picture messages were non-existent.
-Her rehearsal and travelling schedule were so gruelling. How awesome to travel around the world doing what you love.
-It felt like I was reliving her moments on stage with her as she described her movements, costumes and feelings of performance.
-Lovely to listen to her side of the love story with Li. So captivated yet I had to Google the photos, a physical copy of the book would have been loaded with them though I bet!
-Great to hear about Li's Chinese culture from Mary's perspective. Learning so much about this part of the world.
-How is it that Mary records her conversations with so much clarity??
-Mary's insight into raising a child with profound deafness is so eye opening.
-Amazed at Li's impact on Queensland Ballet, ashamed that I have never seen a QB show. Need to get onto that pronto in the new year!!
-I adore that the story continually cycles back to the mother-daughter relationship, one that is the most important. Sophie's tenacity in helping Mary write her story just shows the deep drive and determination that Mary instilled in Sophie.

This is a memorable memoir and if you like this genre I would highly recommend. Especially if you work within the arts. Mary's story is so harrowing and inspirational. It is a beautiful story about a mother's relationship with her daughter and the power of ballet. It teaches you so much more than just how to dance and this is a fact that is just too unknown about many of our arts industries.

[Hannah P · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book so so much and am realising how small the world of dance really is with some of the people that were mentioned being my past ballet examiners and current models. I would highly recommend this book to anyone practising ballet or with an interest in it.

[Margaret · Rating 2 out of 5]

Personally interested in the Sophie story and it didn’t seem to go deep enough. Childhood leading up to the dance era was interesting. Far too much detail and written in a very basic style. Surprised it was not more heavily edited. Not “warts and all”, I sense.

[Emma · Rating 1 out of 5]

I thought it went much longer than it needed to and it was quite exhausting reading the extent of her controlling her children’s lives. Also quite upsetting to read how unwilling she was to listen to her daughter’s perspective about her deafness and unwillingness to learn sign language.

[Noreen · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this to the end and it was a bit of a chore.
I couldn't warm to Mary and I felt for Sophie, who had hard challenges her whole life, on a number of different levels.