Comment se faire des amis et tomber amoureux quand on est un tueur à gages

The Hitman's Guide #1

by Alice Winters

Être tueur à gages a ses avantages, mais je n’aurais jamais cru que voir la lune en plein jour serait l’un d’entre eux.

LELAND

S’il se refuse à parler d’amour au « premier regard », Leland ne peut nier que Jackson, le détective privé maladroit, a attisé son intérêt. Le voilà qui se lance dans un jeu du chat et de la souris, déterminé à attirer l’attention de celui qui devrait être son ennemi. Et bien que Jackson se dise indifférent, faire équipe ensemble pour faire tomber Hardek – un des criminels les plus pourris de la ville – va se révéler être plus dur que prévu !

JACKSON

Même si ces collègues lui assurent que Leland est un tueur à gages, Jackson est irrémédiablement attiré par lui. Leland est drôle, charismatique et très, très, séduisant. Impossible que cet homme un peu loufoque soit celui que la police recherche, n’est-ce pas ? Mais, quand Leland apparaît, blessé, sur le pas de sa porte, Jackson se retrouve face à un choix difficile : entre son devoir de le livrer à la justice et ses sentiments, son cœur balance et il ne sait plus quoi faire. Il veut le garder. Le protéger. Être à ses côtés. Pourtant, une question perdure : pourquoi cet homme possède-t-il autant de flingues ?

Que se passe-t-il quand un tueur à gages insolent croise la route d’un détective privé intègre ? Ils s’élancent dans une course poursuite sans cascades de voiture ni explosion, une galopade sans cheval et des loopings sur balançoires interdits aux moins de dix-huit. Âmes les plus sensibles s’abstenir : fous rires assurés.

Genres: M M Romance, Romance, Contemporary, Humor, Mystery, Audiobook, LGBT

472 pages, ebook

First published July 30, 2019

About the author

Alice Winters started writing stories as soon as she was old enough to turn her ideas into written words. She loves writing a variety of things from romance and comedy to action. She also enjoys reading, horseback riding, and spending time with her pets.

Follow me on Facebook where I put up short stories, teasers, and giveaways: https://www.facebook.com/groups/Alice...

Join my newsletter: https://www.alicewintersauthor.com/

Reviews

[☆ Todd · Rating 5 out of 5]

OMG, this story had freaking EPIC, non-stop snark and banter!!!



I'd initially feared that in order to keep up the high levels of comedy, the author might need to resort to lowering the quality of the jokes, getting corny, and trying too hard, but that amazingly never happened. At least not for me.

“I haven’t called [the police] yet. I’m giving you one last day of freedom to do anything you want.”

“Ah, makes sense. Anything?”

“Anything.”

“Can I touch your willy?”

“Besides that.”

“Can I look at your willy?”

“Besides that.”

“So not actually anything."

“Anything else.”

“Can you show me your nipple?”

Basically, this was a story about a 39 y.o. private investigator falling for a 27 y.o. hitman, very much against his better judgement.



And it was hilarious from start to finish.

My only complaint about the book would be the very long 343-page length.

There were a few times in the book that *felt* like a good stopping point, but the story was only getting started, hence me feeling that it was too long, with 100 or so pages (like the dog parts) that might've been edited down for a more focused book.

I'd definitely recommend this story for fans of snark and banter, but prepare to settle in for a while.

4.5 *totally-memorable* stars.

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[Heather K (dentist in my spare time) · Rating 1 out of 5]

Was this supposed to be funny? Literally tested my last nerve (yes, my patience is thin these days...).


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[Chelsea · Rating 5 out of 5]

✨🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀✨!!!!!!!!!
IDGAF, ITS GIVING 5 FERAL RATS PURELY BASED ON MY OWN PERSONAL VIBES
Because DAMN I WAS 🔥VIBING🔥 this one so hard hahahahahahah

Sure, there were some logistics of their relationship that made no sense, and if a man was moving into my house that quickly, I’d be like 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 but honestly, this is one of those books you can forgive Leland for being insane, because he’s so fucking funny.

✨PRESIDENT OF THE WEAK ASS HOE FOR A FUNNY MAN CLUB✨

Honestly though….. My god, WAS THIS BOOK FR? Who are you Alice and how did you write a book with crack in it?!?

I actually couldn’t stop listening, normally I get like 10-60 mins of audio in per day, and that’s good enough for me…. I HOOVERED this book my guys, I had my ear phones in at work, I was listening in the gym, I sat in my car outside my house disassociating and listening for 45 mins, I listened while I cooked, I laid in bed staring at the ceiling listening to Leland talk about his sex dungeons, I COULD NOT SNORT THIS BOOK INTO MY BRAIN FAST ENOUGH. ✨

I don’t think I’ve ever read a book that made me actually have to physically smoosh my face away from any human eyes to stop a physical laugh from escaping me.


🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽
If for no other reason, this book gets 5 fuckin feral rats for having the MOST CONSISTENT TWO MAIN MC’S I think I’ve ever read???

Leland and Jackson have two very distinguishable personalities, and even after it gets more into lovey dovey territory, they are still so CHRONICALLY the same as they were before they fell in love…

👏CAN AUTHORS TAKE NOTE PLEZ👏

There is nothing I hate more than a cool ass, interesting, funny characters becoming a boring old saggy ball sack of romance after they fall in love 🤢🤢🤢 don’t get fucking boring and lose yourself because you’re in love.

(This applies to books and real life 😂)

IMO, more books need sex swings? 🤔

[Jilly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Okay, now if you love humor that is so ridiculous and OTT, you'll love this series. If you can't handle silly humor, stay away. This one cracked me up. I'm okay with snarky-but stupid- humor. And, I loved the craziness involved. Weird and inappropriate humor is one of my things. I've was called "weird" when I was young, and now that I'm old I am called "eccentric", so I get it. (Eccentric sounds so much better, doesn't it? I guess if weirdos make it to old age we get that badge of honor.)


But if I stop taking my not-crazy-pills the voices will come back! Free Spirited it is!

So this book is about a private investigator who ends up getting the attention of a hitman when he climbs a fence near the home of where the hitman is staking out his next kill. The PI, Jackson, makes a critical error in his climb and his pants get pulled down by getting stuck on the fence. Now, he must have one hell of an ass because Leland, the hitman, is captivated. It was love at first moon.


Oooh, where can I find those pants? Jason and Freddy have a lot of dimples, right?

Having a hitman decide he's in love with you could be problematic. Luckily for Jackson, Leland is absolutely insane. I mean, "lucky" is the word I would use. Who wants a sane person to fall in love with? I was just reminding my husband the other day about the time we went to the car wash and the attendant asked him what scent we wanted for the air freshener and my hubs asked him with a straight face if they have urine-scented. I laughed like a madman while the attendant looked at us like we were on drugs (we weren't). Ah, good times. I spent most of my marriage walking behind my husband saying, "he's just kidding" and don't regret a moment of it. Of course, his accent is so thick that half the time people have no idea what he said anyway, so I guess I could have saved myself the trouble. But, that bewildered look when someone isn't sure what you said, but it couldn't possibly be what they think they heard? I've seen that look more times than I could tell you.


That's the one!

So the great romance between Leland and Jackson begins. And, it's glorious! They are also solving a mystery, but the craziness takes center stage for me. I want to live where they live.


Oh 2020. You have really done a number on us.

[Lyn❤Loves❤Listening to Real Voices Only!!!!❤️🎧📚 Addict ON HIATUS]

DNF 8%

It's me, not the book. I like humor but not this kind of humor. It's just too OTT and silly.

[Lucie V. · Rating 5 out of 5]

✅ Hilarious moments and banter
✅ Cute romance (MM)
✅ Smut
✅ Characters (OTT main character)
✅ Mystery and investigation
✅ Action
✅ Pace and plot
✅ 2 POVs
❗️❗️Trigger warnings: mentions of murders and past child neglect

4.5 stars

_______________________

Third read/listen: I listen to the book this time around, and Michael Ferraiuolo is amazing, as always.
I laughed out loud many times. This series is a comfort read for me.

_______________________

What happens when a 39-year-old private investigator finds himself falling for a 28 snarky hitman against his better judgment?

I usually don’t read contemporary romance unless there is a dash of paranormal or urban fantasy in it, but Alice Winters is one of my exceptions. This is the perfect book for you if you enjoy over-the-top characters, ridiculous banter with some spicy MM smut, and an intriguing plot with action. While being almost 400 pages long, this book didn’t feel long. It’s full of action, humor, mystery, and banter, and I really liked it.

Leland is a 27-year-old (or 28 maybe?) hitman who’s always been able to keep a low profile and remain anonymous until his path crosses Jackson’s, a 39, very serious and sexy private investigator. As Leland decides to stalk Jackson, and Jackson is trying to get rid of him and figure out if he can trust him or if he should report him to the police, they will both be forced to work together to bring down a criminal responsible for arms smuggling, kidnappings, and human trafficking.

It’s clear that I’m bored when I’m not using my binoculars to watch the house I’m supposed to be watching but am, instead, staring at the neighbor’s TV. What’s worse is that The Bachelor is on.

Leland is very smart and full of light and smiles. While he has a dark past, and he’s done and seen some bad things, he still manages to be so bubbly and full of happiness, it is impressive. He reminded me of Finn in How to Vex a Vampire or Ari in the Wesford Shifters series. He just barged into Jackson’s life, and decided that he would remain there because Jackson was obviously his soul-mate. Jackson decided that he had to keep an eye on Leland to make sure he would stop killing people, but he clearly was not expecting Leland to just make himself at home and never leave Jackson’s side.

On the right side of my face, in permanent marker, is a penis, ball hairs and all. On my left cheek is Love, the Sandman with a heart like he puts on my notes.

Jackson is a more quiet and more reserved character, but we can see that he has a more relaxed and carefree side that comes out whenever he’s with Leland. Leland has a way to convince Jackson to do anything he wants, and I loved seeing Jackson get more carefree and especially happier. I also adored how he and Leland finally managed to stand up to Jackson’s mom after all her horrible comments and schemes to get rid of Leland and find a “suitable woman” for Jackson. Stupid Ava.

He grimaces, and I can’t imagine why. My only conclusion is that he doesn’t like my mask. Or maybe hostage situations don’t really turn him on. Or maybe he didn’t get my joke.


Oh. That. “Well, that was just like flirting. Like how a boy pushes a girl he likes.”
He looks at me in the mirror like I’m crazy. “You shot at me.”

Leland and Jackson definitely have a rough start, mostly because Leland is a hitman on the most wanted list of the police, and Jackson works with the police as an occasional consultant. The fact that Leland then proceeded to stalk Jackson because he was interested in him also didn’t help, but it created many crazy-funny moments that made me laugh out loud. Their dynamic is what you would expect from the main couple if you’ve read a couple of Alice Winter’s other works, but it never gets old!

“Basically, it’s like getting a house cat,” I realize. “You come in, eat my food, sleep wherever you want, whenever you want, and refuse to listen…”


“How much did you spend on a robot vacuum, anyway?”
“Bitch wasn’t cheap. I could’ve bought a sex machine for that much. You know what… I bet I could make the robot vacuum a sex machine as well as a vacuum. What do you think of me putting a suction-cup dildo on the top? She could be like a little unicorn with a dick for a horn.”
Jackson stares at me like he’s forgotten how to laugh. Like my comment wasn’t even remotely funny. All I know is that I can’t wait for his friends to come over again so dildo Roomba can make her entrance.

The romance between Leland and Jackson has a pretty crazy start, and I was not sure at first how healthy it would be since it seemed like Jackson was providing everything for Leland, but the situation was rectified, and their relationship ended up being quite healthy for a PI/Hitman romance with a significant age gap. The fact that Jackson is older and more mature tempered Leland’s craziness and impulsivity, but I loved how it created funny and cute moments between them. Be aware, though, that this book is full of sexual jokes that can be quite immature and over the top, but it was a perfect summer vacation read. The way Jackson just accepts almost anything Leland says or asks just because he loves seeing him happy too much is also kind of cute (even though it would be a little intense in a real-life relationship 😅). Don’t read this book if you want something more serious and realistic.

“Don’t shoot them,” Jackson says as the van rolls to a stop.
“What? Why?”
“We’re going to arrest them.”
“Arrest?” I ask. Clearly, the man’s crazy. He’s all beauty and no brains. He’ll take that suggestion back once they start shooting at us. Which they almost instantly do. I climb behind the door to use it for cover and look over at Jackson who is hunkered down next to the steering wheel, his own door also open. “Go on then, arrest them.”
He hesitates. “I will.”
A bullet hits the window above my head, and I give him a very pointed look. “When?”
“Soon.”
Another hits the mirror. “How soon is soon? Like in a minute or ten minutes or when we’re both dead?”
He looks over at me and raises an eyebrow. “One of those.”

The fact that Jackson is trying to make “an honest man” out of Leland and that Leland is just eager to go back to his life of adrenaline and shooting people created some awkward, but funny, moments between them. Let’s be honest, though, Leland’s slightly psychotic side and his obsession with his guns are one of the best and funniest parts of him. I also want to give a special mention to Henry, who, while not being a main character, was awesome in this book. I already love his dynamic with Leland and Jackson, and I can’t wait to see more of it in the rest of the series.

“Don’t ever leave me,” I whisper. His hands tighten behind my back.
“I won’t.”
“I’m a mean motherfucker when you piss me off. You will not be safe from me if you make me mad.”

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[h o l l i s · Rating 1 out of 5]

I have all of the love in the world for the buddy who rec'd this (not to me specifically but who enjoyed and did express warnings it was OTT and ridiculous) but this book was.. well..

I'll admit the beginning was kind of entertaining. Yes, OTT, and yes, ridiculous, but there were brief moments in the beginning where I amused -- in a 'so dumb I lol' way. But then there was the repetition, then the silly turned into what-the-fuckery, and just overall nothing was realistic or even fun anymore.

I skimmed a lot (a lot) and I definitely should've DNF'd around the halfway mark but somehow I kept reading. On a work night. Despite the ever pervasive slump-i-tude. Is it worth it to round up because of that? I thought about it. But I won't.

I'm not continuing on with the series nor will I read the author again. Beyond the bizarre, it was also clunky, felt like a bad translation or unedited draft, and while I'm all for comedy, this was immature, childish, and too slapstick for my taste.

Nope. Sorry.

Amanda, ilu.

[Deborah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not another re-read…yes Nov 2022

Re-read 2nd - 22nd February 2021

Re-read 1st - 4th January 2020.

I promised myself a Christmas re-read. The problem is I do most of my reading in bed at night. And this is definitely a daytime book.
I can’t read this in bed because I can’t stop laughing. I thought it might be better the second time round. It’s not it’s worse. This time I was laughing from the get go.
Since I enjoyed this so much more the second time round I’m increasing my rating to 5*.

Original review - 4*

This is a perfect example of a love it or hate it kinda book. This most likely depends on how you view Leland.

I adored him. I thought he was hilarious (but exhausting).

It wasn’t love at first sight for me. I’ll be honest for the first couple of chapters I felt it could have gone either way. But once these two started interacting they had me.

Leland is the notorious Sandman. He’s never had anything like a normal life. And I so wanted him to find that with Jackson.

I laughed, chuckled and smiled my way through this book. It’s taken me ages to read it. Partly because I’ve been so busy lately. This means most of my reading is done in bed. Not the best place to read a book that has me laughing constantly.

“Hi, Jackson!” I shout.
He’s also amazing at jumping. Clearly, this is a man worth marrying. He’s sexy and agile.


“We’re not having children. We’re not… I’m not moving you into my house for good. This is just to watch you… so I can help you.”
“I can already hear wedding bells. The angels are singing our names. Jackson and Leland, together forever.”
“I’m starting to wonder if this was a really bad idea.” I start laughing. “It might have been. I’ve never even had a sleepover before, so I’m excited about this. I’m overly excited about all the things we’re going to be doing. Like…” I think about it for a moment. “We could braid our hair and have a pillow fight and measure each other’s penises.”
His eyebrows knit as his head tilts. “I… I’m not sure that’s what anyone does at a sleepover. At least none of the sleepovers I’ve been to.” I grin.
“Well, that’s disappointing.”

[Debra ~~ seriously slacking on her reviews ~~ · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is similar in style and tone to the In Darkness books. While I adored the In Darkness series and found them to have characters with great chemistry and banter and a good balance between the funny and the action/mystery story, The Hitman's Guide didn't work quite as well for me in those aspects.

The story started off well, but started to drag towards the middle (and it's a pretty long book). While it was often funny, Leland's snark and commentary was pretty unrelenting and became exhausting at times. Some of the juvenile comments also had me cringing a bit and wondering if maybe he has a condition that hadn't been diagnosed making it difficult to deal with certain social situations.

Jackson fell sort of flat for me. He lets people walk all over him, including his business partner who does no work, his mother who is a homophobic, demanding bitch who "tolerates" him being gay as long as he doesn't show it he even goes along with it when she introduces Leland as Jackson's sister's boyfriend!! Really?? and even Leland to an extent.

I was drawn in by the mystery of the trafficking, as well as what would happen when Leland's identity is revealed to the various players, but the resolutions weren't very satisfying. In Darkness had plenty of outlandish situations, but somehow there it worked, where here it felt like the climactic scenes and resolutions were just not in keeping with the situations.

There were a few hilarious episodes, especially the last scene in the book. I did like Leland's story and the occasional vulnerability he showed before it was quickly covered with a humorous comment, but I wanted a bit more of that developed.

Not a big winner for me, but once again, I seem to be in the minority on this one.

[Elsbeth · Rating 1 out of 5]

My gawd... I can't believe I've read all these 343 pages of.. Utterly nonsense, OTT behavior. Why, Why did I do that?



I thought this was supposed te be funny? Clearly I have a different kind of humor..

“What is wrong with you? And why the fuck can’t I get you off me? I can’t even move!”

He flails around some, which I think is really cute. Instead of giving in, I grab onto his earlobe with my lips and pull on it.

“I’ll suck your jackhammer.”

“No! Stop tempting me!”

Now he’s trying to crawl out from under me, but I’m just riding on his back as he goes.

“Please?” I whisper into his ear. “Just for me?”

“Two guns, happy?”

I mean, really?



Not a book for me but heyy you may like it.

[Kaity · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reread #6/Relisten #5: October 2024

Because the 7th book in the series just came out, sooo have to do a reread of it all to get back in the mindset haha. I am also hoping by the time I finish that the audiobook will be released!

It was also fun to go through the book with the special edition snip it's they added another layer into this reread haha

Reread #5/Relisten #4: December 2023

Since the 5th book came out on audio I have to do another reread of the series haha! What a great way to end/start the year!

Reread #4/Relisten #3: July 2023

Because i missed this group of characters and wanted to be back with Jackson and Leland, because i mean who wouldn't! haha

Reread #3/Relisten #2: April 2022

Love these two and their antics. I am reading this series again for the fourth book that came out in audio yes!

Reread #2/Listen #1: June 2021

I still love it as much as the first time the audiobook really adds a whole new level and Michael Ferriauolo does a great job sounding how each character should.

Reread #1: September 2020

And yes, it is still a magnificent 5 stars! I am reading the first two books before I start the third!

5 Stars: January 2020

Umm yes please, Leland and Jackson were just perfection. This book definitely is an acquired taste so if you don't like just random humor all the time (and I mean all the time) then you will not like this book. This book there was nothing serious about it and I loved it! Such a great way to start the new year off with two back to back 5 stars!

The banter throughout the whole book with Jackson and Leland was just amazing, you could see Leland breaking down Jackson's walls. You have Leland who is a hitman (known as the Sandman) and Jackson who is a PI. Right from the start of the book I loved Leland and his internal random dialogue, it kept me entertained that I laughed out loud about 20 times within the first 50 pages and my husband was wondering what was so funny. Their banter reminded me of how I interact with my husband, me being the Leland of the pair and my husband being Jackson.

I definitely didn't see the twist coming for who Hardek was and who was involved with him, so that was a shock that Alice was able to pull that off while cracking jokes for the characters every page.

This was definitely a romcom with a side of mystery/action. I cannot wait to read about what else Leland and Jackson get in to in the next book! I hope we see more interactions with Henry and Mason and we can't forget little Cayenne Pepper.

So I would recommend this to anyone looking for an MM romcom that doesn't take anything seriously, makes you laugh out loud, and has a hint of action involved.

[Ariana (mostly offline) · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think whether you enjoy this book or not depends a lot on whether you can cope with Leland.

I found his sexual banter funny to start with, but it became ‘too much of the same’ pretty quickly. And then irritation set in. Never have I met a character as overbearing and annoying as him. Yes, he does have two or three more serious moments, but unfortunately, they remain underdeveloped. Shame because that’s exactly what I wanted to see!

What’s left is a supposedly cute guy who behaves inappropriately and silly in virtually every single life situation he encounters (and gets away with it!) whilst being the most deadly and feared assassin on the side. Somehow that didn’t gel for me, not even in a ’comedy’.
Maybe I have lost my sense of humour, however, there is a good chance it lies buried dead under the continuous onslaught of sexual innuendos and banter.

I’m glad that at least Jackson falls for Leland’s constant sex-babble. I loved when he resists Leland’s loud advances again and again and couldn’t quite understand why he eventually gives in to him so easily. (Unfortunately, we are in Leland’s POV when it happens)
What totally unnerved me about Jackson is that he repeatedly declares that he has to give Leland whatever he wants because he loves him. I mean, what kind of love is that?

And I’m not talking about presents here, but serious stuff. Which leads me right to the plot.
I understand (mostly) that I shouldn’t take it seriously, as this book’s clearly meant to make you smile and laugh.
Darn, why wasn’t I laughing then?
I almost DNFd at 76% when one of the main problems between Leland and Jackson is resolved in the most ridiculous matter. The issue held so much promise for a good story-line but gave me a massive headache instead.

I know many people loved this and I’m happy for them.
But for me this is a book that seems to try to be too many things at once:
A comedy, a romance, a thriller, a mystery, a coming-out story, a family drama …. Probably I simple don’t get the author’s humour.

[Simone - on indefinite hiatus - · Rating 2 out of 5]

Audiobook: ***5 Michael-Ferraiuolo-is-the-best Stars***
Story: ***2 sorry-not-my-kind-of-humor Stars***

[Mrinmayi]

I'M GIVING UP!!!!!! I CAN'T EVEN BRING MYSELF TO READ ONE BOOK!!!! IN MARCH, I READ ZERO BOOKS!!!!! AND NOW I DNFed THIS ONE


I AM NOT A SOCIOPATH...I AM JUST BORED!!!! ENCE READING THIS BOOK!!!
(nOW ThAt I tHInK Of It...PrObabLY EvERy SoCIoPaTH SAyS ThIS🥺😶😬)

Murderer:Soooo Mrin...I can see you😈I am coming after you
Mrin: You can see me??!!
Murderer: Yup!!!
Mrin: I will wave at you and you wave back!!!
Murder: THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS!!!!
Mrin:*Waves excitedly* I can see you as well!!!
Murderer:*sighs*Never mind...

Seeeee??!! I am NOT a sociopath!!! Now I am gonna read this book without any guilt!!!

[Fabi NEEDS Email Notifications · Rating 4 out of 5]

Don't judge me. I laughed - more than once. This is American slapstick humor which often crosses the line into ridiculousness. What was it about this story that kept me so engaged?

I somehow formed an emotional connection to both characters. PI Jackson is an ex military 39 year old gay man. He didn't come out to his parents until his thirties. His mother is a horrible homophobic witch and I hated that he was so forgiving of her hatefulness. <--- see? Emotionally connected.

The Sandman♥️ (he signs his notes with a heart) is a 27 year old expert sniper with a conscience. Me, being Judgy McJudgepants, would say he has ADHD and possibly some social anxiety stemming from his childhood. In spite of his in-your-face ridiculous humor, he basically melted my heartstrings. You should see the sticky, soppy mess he made of them.

The mystery/crime plot kept me engaged even through the eye rolling resolutions. We get several action scenes where both characters get to be heroes. The writing flowed and I laughed in spite of myself.

It doesn't make sense, but I enjoyed this story so much. My biggest complaint, besides the not-funny funny dialogue I belly laughed at, is that I wanted more. I wanted more background on each of the characters. More details of where they came from and what made them the men they were. I wanted to live those scenes and feelings with them that made big impacts on their lives. I guess I'm never satisfied. I got a 350 page book and I'm asking for 500. ;-)

3.5 stars for an entertaining weekend read

[Leslie · Rating 5 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5 Overall Stars
😂😂😂😂😂/5 on the laugh level.
🔥🔥🔥/5 Heat Index

I’m still on a review hiatus. Not an official thing. Just can’t be bothered. But I will make an exception and write a longer one for this one sometime in the next few days. Because this book deserves a review with all the bells and whistles and quotes and gifs. And since I highlighted half of the darn book while reading it, I have plenty to use.

Put simply for now. This is my favorite book of the summer. I mean, Summer isn’t over. But I’d be super surprised if there’s a book that can dethrone this one.

It was just so frickin adorable and so damn funny. I loved it with all of my heart. From the moment Leland spotted Jackson losing his pants while climbing over a fence, he had heart eyes for Jackson. I had heart eyes for the both of them. I didn’t want it to end.

Full review to come. Promise.

[Samantha Tucker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best comedic book this year

I almost died reading this book. I laughed so hard that I cried and then I laughed some more until I started coughing. I love books that make me laugh. This book over delivered. There was a great mix of action and angst that was offset perfectly by the hilarity. I texted my friend at least 4 times to tell her about the humor in this book. I'm usually not really into detective type books but the slow romantic buildup as well as the nonsensical jokes really made me love it.

[Gustaf · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reread 2020-06-05
I don't know what it is with this series but I don't like the kindle versions as much as I like the audiobooks. Found this one, just like the second book in the series a bit hard to focus on. Still love love love the audio so I'm letting it stay as a 5 star rating.

Original rating:
I can’t believe I haven’t read this book before...
Anyway, I loved it. It was ridiculous, cute, sexy and intriguing.
I don’t know what to say. Just read it if you haven’t.

[Valerie ❈M/M Romance Junkie❈]

I’ve started and stopped this book three times. I yield. When Michael F can’t make me listen to a book, it ain’t worth the struggle.☹️

[Lelyana's Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

OMG I enjoyed this book too much! Especially every time Leland opened his mouth and talk! LOL.
And Jackson was definitely enjoying harassment after harassment from Leland.

Full review soon :)

[D.L. Howe · Rating 4 out of 5]

BR with my girl Cass!

Right off the bat you’re inundated with hilarity. Leland is a hitman who is zany, strange and almost certainly psychotic. Jackson is a PI who at times is bumbling, reminding me of Clouseau from The Pink Panther.

I enjoy how much Jackson rebuffs Leland’s outlandish, sometimes dangerous flirtations. Even after they’re together he automatically says no but always inevitably gives in to what his baby wants.

I will say they flipped from grudging enemies to lovey dovey in it forever boyfriends in the blink of an eye. I’m not against instalove, it just felt confusing.

I also couldn’t figure out if the crime part of the story was meant to be slapstick as well. Like did the writer mean for the villains to resemble over the top cartoon types? If so it was too much and if not the villains weren’t believably scary or even hate worthy. Honestly, I despised Jackson’s mother more than anyone.

I thought the steam had a lot of potential but it fell kinda flat for me. Especially with Leland’s mouth writing a bunch of smutty checks he couldn’t cash. Everything just came out as humorous, which is a double edged sword.

While it never lacked in entertainment value it was made of nothing but fluff. I need just a little more from the books I read. I’m giving this a higher rating but I doubt I’d finish the series.

[Susan]

DNF at 40%

I recently read A Villain for Christmas by this author and loved it. I thought this would be just as funny as that one, even though I was a bit hesitant because lots of people have commented that they found Leland to be a bit too much at times.

So here I was expecting a super funny book, perhaps even a bit too ‘funny’. But if someone could send me a copy of that funny book, please do, because that wasn’t the copy I read.

I didn’t find this book funny at all. The way Leland and Jackson were circling around each other was tiring, and even though Leland was a lighthearted, positive guy, I never really warmed to him. But I didn’t like Jackson either, so there was nothing that was really holding my interest.

And I really tried. This book is quite long and I kept thinking that I should read on to get to the good parts, but at 40% I think that's not going to happen.

[Sanaa · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.25 stars.

I could never lose this man. I could never lose any of this. Without a doubt, I would give up everything for him.

I'm reading the second book in this series as I write this review and I can say hands down, that both these books have to be the funniest books I've read. I don't know how Alice did it. But she did, and I'm a fan.

Love the characters, the plot, the non stop banter. Especially the banter. This book had people look at me funny on my way to work and back home because I might've snorted out loud a time or two. But no regrets.

I needed to read this series. Really loved it!

[Megan [At The Cottage] · Rating 3 out of 5]

MM Romance
Hitman/Private Investigator Age Gap
Book 1 of 5
3 Stars ⭐️


🎵Narrated by: Michael Ferraiuolo🎵This narrator was new to me but I liked him a lot. My only complaint is that sometimes he made Leland sound like Kermit The Frog 😂🐸

I feel soooo conflicted about this book and this review will have major spoilers about certain events due to it. I laughed my ass off listening to this because Leland was so ridiculous and his banter with Jackson was great. I loved how they “met” in the first scene and how it was the ongoing joke between them the whole book. I had so much fun with this until I didn’t. I knew not to take this book seriously because no way would any of this shit happen in real life. Leland made the most ridiculous hitman even though he was crazy good at his job. His antics and the way he continuously flirted with Jackson to the point he almost blew his cover a few times just made me laugh and the fact “hard-headed by the book” Jackson would fall for and protect Leland despite everything he learned about him was ridiculous. But I went with it, I liked it because it made me laugh and at one point I thought it might be a 5 star read. However, that all changed when Leland came face to face with Henry and then I really struggled to finish this book.

For the entire book, the police chief Henry has it out for “The Sandman” because he killed his partner a long time ago so I found it so hard to believe he would just let Leland go especially after Leland kidnapped him and locked him in the basement of his old house. He didn’t just kidnap him either! He almost killed him FFS and knocked him unconscious so while Leland’s explanation of what happened with the former “sandman” and his backstory in general was harrowing and heartbreaking, I couldn’t believe Henry would not only let him go free but then let him help on the case later on. Also, the fact Jackson was willing to give up his entire life to be with Leland despite learning the truth was also puzzling and didn’t fit his character at all. This whole thing made me put down the audiobook for days and I seriously considered DNFing it but I only had 3 hours left and chores to do. When I listened to it again, it made me laugh and that was the reason I was able to finish it but now I’m super conflicted because I dont know if I want to continue this series or not. However, I do think these books are easy, fun reads and would be perfect in between heavy books and that’s why I might keep reading this series. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Maybe.

[⚣Michaelle⚣ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Audio Review 07Jun2020: No Change

Well, this time around I probably wouldn't have given it the full 4 stars because, again, the immaturity was off the charts. But Michael did a great job with the narration so the rating stands.


Original Review 11Sep2019:

LOL funny stuff.

What kept it from 5 stars is that these MCs acted 10 years younger than their chronological ages. It was an odd disconnect that had they been late 20s and late teens (rather than late 30s and 20s as the book says they are) would have felt more appropriate. Of course, all the things that occurred in their past would have been harder to cram in to people so young...but still. It was weird...I kept having to remember that they weren't as young as they sounded/acted. Maybe more emphasis on how little proper socializing Leland had growing up would have made it fit better? IDK.

Still really liked it, though. I'll definitely read any subsequent books that follow.

[Chloe · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Hitman's Guide to Making Friends and Finding Love by Alice Winters ⭐⭐⭐⭐.5

Overall: ⭐⭐⭐⭐.5
Spice: 🌶️🌶️🌶️
Humour: 🤭🤭🤭🤭
Intimacy: 🫂🫂🫂🫂
Angst: 🥺🥺🥺

First person dual pov 👀

CW: violence, kidnapping, crude language, blood, torture, murder, killing, hospitalisation, stalking, arson, homophobia, mention of suicide, mention of parental abuse and neglect, mention of rape, mention of attempted sexual abuse on a minor

[Candice · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved every single second of this! Highly recommend. SO funny. Leland is AMAZING! New to me author and it's a winner!

[☆Kylie☆ · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was so fun! Alice books aren't for everyone, you need to have a special kind of humor, and if you do, you are in for a great time!

[Denise · Rating 2 out of 5]

2 Stars

I thought this was going to be a new favorite. I really did. It started off perfectly with fantastic banter and a unique, quirky character. How could that have possibly gone wrong?

Well.

I realize I am in the minority here but I thought the non-stop banter and snark was too much and OTT. There was absolutely nothing realistic about this plot and every "serious" moment was unfailingly interrupted by pointless, weird banter and ramblings from Leland. I realize that he is most likely on the spectrum or maybe simply doesn't know how to properly communicate due to his childhood but I wanted him to shut up just once. Even for just a minute. I enjoyed the first 50% and do think the story was very funny - but it became too much. Less is more, ya know?

As for the plot itself, I had to suspend my disbelief entirely. The manner in which Leland and Jackson got out of the scenarios would never fly in real life but hey, it's fiction, right? The "bad guy" storyline wasn't fleshed out very well either. There were never any consequences for Leland or Jackson so as a reader, the tension was missing. The whole thing with Henry was laughably unrealistic as well. I think I maxed out the capacity for eye-rolling during that bit. I tried to ignore the plot issues and ultimately would have rated this higher if that was the only problem.

The other major flaw for me was how quickly Leland and Jackson's relationship moved. Jackson was very adamant in his decision to stay away from Leland but yet somehow he let Leland move in with him within a month and never blinked an eye. Also, what was up with how quickly Jackson went from "stay away from me" to "let me watch you jack off in my living room while we have phone sex". Uh...okay?

I struggled not to DNF this but powered through by the power of energy drinks and procrastination.

Series:
Book 1: The Hitman's Guide to Making Friends and Finding Love → 2 Stars
Book 2: The Hitman's Guide to Staying Alive Despite Past Mistakes → did not read

[Cadiva · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely bonkers and I loved it

Well that was a riot and a half and I can't remember when I laughed as much reading a romantic suspense story.

Leland is one of the most brilliantly ridiculous characters I've read in a long time and I fell for him almost instantly.

Jackson's a tougher nut to crack, but even so, he also won my heart as he found himself enmeshed with the slightly bigger than pint-sized assassin.

The plot twists were fast and furious but I never saw the last one coming and I was howling with laughter as that unfolded.

So much fun throughout this book.