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The Music Between Us: Memoir of a Bedside Musician
A Man’s Heart Is Healed by Those Whose Bodies Can Heal No More The Music Between Us is a memoir about reckoning with a painful childhood, discovering God, and finding healing in a most unexpected way. Steve Litwer and his two younger brothers were raised by a single, mentally ill mother. His emotional wounds from this resulted in little compassion and loads of resentment, which spilled over into many of his key relationships throughout his life. These were often contaminated by a legacy of fear, agitation, confusion, and feelings of inadequacy. As a young man, Steve wanted to be a musician. Largely self-taught on the guitar, he lacked the talent to play professionally, so he chose another career path until he retired, working for a series of popular music radio stations in Kansas City and Memphis. In his retirement, as a volunteer, Steve began playing guitar music for hospice patients--his song lists included blues, rock and roll, and other popular song styles from earlier decades. As their bedside musician, his private performances and companionship to those nearing the end of their lives began to unlock long-buried memories of his own past. The result? Surprising lessons and new insights about the events of his life and finding the path to forgiveness for himself and his mother. Incorporating moving and funny true stories of people in hospice, this book explores the mysterious ways that Steve has come to understand and reclaim his life through the power of music and the unexpected gifts he received from those who did not have much life left.
286 pages, Kindle Edition
Published November 23, 2020
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6 people want to read
About the author
Steve Litwer
2 booksI’m a lifelong guitar player, but not an accomplished one. I’m a self-taught amateur.
Born in New York City, I was raised by my divorced single mother who suffered from two very debilitating mental disorders. My father was an accountant who mysteriously couldn’t manage money or much else. They both loved me, but unfortunately, all parents are role models. As such, I learned some habits and behaviors of both.
The first half of my life didn’t go so well. I lived with a constant fear of inheriting my mother’s mental illness which I always sensed was just around the corner. I learned early to hide behind a false veneer of overt self-confidence. I also developed a highly aggressive persona. These coping traits and a relatively high aptitude for some things got me through college and a series of high earning jobs.
As I grew into adulthood and middle-age, I aggressively pursued success leading media organizations in the TV, radio, and digital advertising industries. I married at age 31. Settling in the Kansas City area, my wife and I raised a family of two daughters and today have grandkids.
When I retired at age 61, I entered a new life-stage, believing that my legacy of family dysfunction had been resolved over the years. (I spent so much money on therapy, how could it be otherwise?) Yet, I would shortly discover that I was still hiding from my past and from myself. This occurred when I was drawn into a new vocation, volunteering most afternoons to play guitar in private bedside performances for dying individuals in hospice care. Unexpectedly, I received a special gift in return. I wrote this book to explore the mystery of my own transformation and with the hope that knowing my story might be helpful to others. I am still on that path.
Born in New York City, I was raised by my divorced single mother who suffered from two very debilitating mental disorders. My father was an accountant who mysteriously couldn’t manage money or much else. They both loved me, but unfortunately, all parents are role models. As such, I learned some habits and behaviors of both.
The first half of my life didn’t go so well. I lived with a constant fear of inheriting my mother’s mental illness which I always sensed was just around the corner. I learned early to hide behind a false veneer of overt self-confidence. I also developed a highly aggressive persona. These coping traits and a relatively high aptitude for some things got me through college and a series of high earning jobs.
As I grew into adulthood and middle-age, I aggressively pursued success leading media organizations in the TV, radio, and digital advertising industries. I married at age 31. Settling in the Kansas City area, my wife and I raised a family of two daughters and today have grandkids.
When I retired at age 61, I entered a new life-stage, believing that my legacy of family dysfunction had been resolved over the years. (I spent so much money on therapy, how could it be otherwise?) Yet, I would shortly discover that I was still hiding from my past and from myself. This occurred when I was drawn into a new vocation, volunteering most afternoons to play guitar in private bedside performances for dying individuals in hospice care. Unexpectedly, I received a special gift in return. I wrote this book to explore the mystery of my own transformation and with the hope that knowing my story might be helpful to others. I am still on that path.
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
November 30, 2020
As the spouse of the author, I may be a bit biased, however as a reader, I found the book compelling with lots of interesting music history and facts about the healing nature of music. I read daily, and often have two or three books going at the same time. (Paperback, audio, Kindle) I won't waste my time on a poorly written book. As they say, "So many books; so little time." I am proud and amazed at Steve's writing ability. The story flowed and kept my interest. I am witness to the changes in himself that he describes in the book. It is a heartwarming story that rises above all of the pain which propelled the creation of this book.
November 29, 2020
A beautiful and well written story of a life’s journey and spiritual growth through music and using that music to bring comfort to others. I absolutely loved this book.
July 7, 2024
An intimate, review of the authors life with music. Volunteering at a nursing home can be a gift for both the volunteer and the resident. To take a song and weave a story with life, love and wisdom is a gift! Highly recommend for musicians, hospice workers and anyone that has sat with an older and listen to the stories.
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews