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Chauvo-Feminism: On Sex, Power and #MeToo
Everybody knows a Chauvo-Feminist.
The 2017 #MeToo movement was a flagship moment, a time which empowered women to share their stories of sexual harassment and abuse in a spirit of solidarity and in demand of change.
But have some men simply changed tactics? Acclaimed author Sam Mills investigates the phenomenon of the chauvo-feminist, the man whose public feminism works to advance his career, whilst his private self exhibits age-old chauvinistic tactics.
Through testimonies and her own experience, Mills examines the psychological underpinnings of the chauvo-feminist, exploring questions of modern relationships, consent, and emotional abuse, and asks how we might move beyond trial by Twitter to encourage an honest and productive dialogue between men and women.
The 2017 #MeToo movement was a flagship moment, a time which empowered women to share their stories of sexual harassment and abuse in a spirit of solidarity and in demand of change.
But have some men simply changed tactics? Acclaimed author Sam Mills investigates the phenomenon of the chauvo-feminist, the man whose public feminism works to advance his career, whilst his private self exhibits age-old chauvinistic tactics.
Through testimonies and her own experience, Mills examines the psychological underpinnings of the chauvo-feminist, exploring questions of modern relationships, consent, and emotional abuse, and asks how we might move beyond trial by Twitter to encourage an honest and productive dialogue between men and women.
- GenresNonfictionFeminismEssays
176 pages, Paperback
First published February 11, 2021
6 people are currently reading
257 people want to read
About the author
Sam Mills
30 books23 followersSamantha Mills
Sam Mills was born in 1975. After graduating from Lincoln College, Oxford University, she worked briefly as a chess journalist and publicist before becoming a full-time writer. She has contributed short stories to literary magazines such as Tomazi and 3am and written articles for the Guardian, The Weeklings and The Independent.
She is the author of 3 young adult novels, published by Faber, including The Boys Who Saved the World, which is currently being adapted for film and the award-winning Blackout. Her debut novel for adults, The Quiddity of Will Self (Corsair) was described by The Sunday Times as “an ingenious, energetic read” and the Guardian as “an extraordinary novel of orgiastic obsession.” Sam is one of the founding members of the Will Self Club.
Sam Mills was born in 1975. After graduating from Lincoln College, Oxford University, she worked briefly as a chess journalist and publicist before becoming a full-time writer. She has contributed short stories to literary magazines such as Tomazi and 3am and written articles for the Guardian, The Weeklings and The Independent.
She is the author of 3 young adult novels, published by Faber, including The Boys Who Saved the World, which is currently being adapted for film and the award-winning Blackout. Her debut novel for adults, The Quiddity of Will Self (Corsair) was described by The Sunday Times as “an ingenious, energetic read” and the Guardian as “an extraordinary novel of orgiastic obsession.” Sam is one of the founding members of the Will Self Club.
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
February 18, 2021
I just read this book in one sitting - exceptional. A concise, intersectional, intertextual book. Although there are many points made about what Mills calls 'chauvo-feminism', and on which she talks candidly, the book had a far more general appeal than the title suggests. Mills manages to point out the necessity of movements such as #MeToo whilst acknowledging the limits of such movements and empathising with the backlash they cause.
Social media, me-too, cancel culture, old ideas, extremism, gaslighting, grey areas - rarely do I speak to any of my close friends without these topics coming up, without us hashing out in some small way or another how to balance the nuance with the macro-level conversations. It's a relief bigger than I thought to know that the nuance of conversations like these are being had by far more articulate people than myself, in far more public spheres. In the same spheres where extreme opinions from both sides are being published to preach to a choir, this book manages to find a fleeting balance in a tumultuous landscape and is a brilliant starting point for conversations to be had not just about feminism, but about the way our politics is conducted today.
Clear and honest, written to understand and not simply to preach or provoke.
Social media, me-too, cancel culture, old ideas, extremism, gaslighting, grey areas - rarely do I speak to any of my close friends without these topics coming up, without us hashing out in some small way or another how to balance the nuance with the macro-level conversations. It's a relief bigger than I thought to know that the nuance of conversations like these are being had by far more articulate people than myself, in far more public spheres. In the same spheres where extreme opinions from both sides are being published to preach to a choir, this book manages to find a fleeting balance in a tumultuous landscape and is a brilliant starting point for conversations to be had not just about feminism, but about the way our politics is conducted today.
Clear and honest, written to understand and not simply to preach or provoke.
April 17, 2022
This would have been a great short essay to introduce its core concept. As a book length essay, it just doesn't support itself, and by the end, it's pretty much collapsed under the tangled weight of itself.
I was intrigued by the idea of the chauvo-feminist, here suggested and defined as a man who is outwardly feminist, often to the point of defining his public persona as one of the 'good ones', but abuses and demeans women in his private life. I've met more men like this than I can count; men who have told me that they're, like, totally feminist! That they love bell hooks and Roxane Gay and Audre Lorde! That feminism isn't even feminism if it's not intersectional! And then those same men have joked about my sexual abuse, or lied to their friends that we dated, or put their hand on my thigh halfway through a conversation about taxes. So, the idea of a book defining this phenomenon and exploring it piqued my interest.
But this book just doesn't really do that. Sure, it makes vague gestures at doing so, but then it veers into a really sloppy analysis of #MeToo as a whole, never giving each point enough weight and focusing too heavily, as always, on the Hollywood sphere. There's a troubling undertone of SWERF 'n' TERF, with some digs at sex work and a reliance on quotations from Helen Lewis, Dave Chappelle and Naomi Wolf. By the time the author walked back her criticisms of Jordan Peterson ('I'm not saying he's a chauvo-feminist!' - well, no, he's pretty blatantly just a misogynist) it was pretty clear that this book doesn't go far enough in what it claims to do.
It gets 3 stars for introducing the concept of the chauvo-feminist, and I hope a clearer thinker someday builds on it and really analyses the phenomenon, because I think the problem of performative feminism is here to stay. Alas, I don't think this book is going to convince anyone of the magnitude of the problem.
I was intrigued by the idea of the chauvo-feminist, here suggested and defined as a man who is outwardly feminist, often to the point of defining his public persona as one of the 'good ones', but abuses and demeans women in his private life. I've met more men like this than I can count; men who have told me that they're, like, totally feminist! That they love bell hooks and Roxane Gay and Audre Lorde! That feminism isn't even feminism if it's not intersectional! And then those same men have joked about my sexual abuse, or lied to their friends that we dated, or put their hand on my thigh halfway through a conversation about taxes. So, the idea of a book defining this phenomenon and exploring it piqued my interest.
But this book just doesn't really do that. Sure, it makes vague gestures at doing so, but then it veers into a really sloppy analysis of #MeToo as a whole, never giving each point enough weight and focusing too heavily, as always, on the Hollywood sphere. There's a troubling undertone of SWERF 'n' TERF, with some digs at sex work and a reliance on quotations from Helen Lewis, Dave Chappelle and Naomi Wolf. By the time the author walked back her criticisms of Jordan Peterson ('I'm not saying he's a chauvo-feminist!' - well, no, he's pretty blatantly just a misogynist) it was pretty clear that this book doesn't go far enough in what it claims to do.
It gets 3 stars for introducing the concept of the chauvo-feminist, and I hope a clearer thinker someday builds on it and really analyses the phenomenon, because I think the problem of performative feminism is here to stay. Alas, I don't think this book is going to convince anyone of the magnitude of the problem.
March 26, 2023
Mooi, genuanceerd boek dat #MeToo en consent breder trekt. Mills schrijft evenwichtig en vergevingsgezind over psychische mishandeling zonder het te bagatelliseren. Helaas erg herkenbaar - mannen die feministische en emotioneel volwassen taal adopteren maar hun gedrag weigeren aan te passen
January 20, 2022
I feel like ive talked about the books main premise with people in my life a fair amount that i was interested enough to pick up the book. I appreciated a few of Mills' analysis and anecdotes she shared, but was generally underwhelmed, thought the introduction had some gross SWERF commentary and her noting carly fiorina becoming a billionarie as something celebratory or whatever was weird. Also in a lot of the essays she seemed to be saying the solution is more legislation//the judicial system, which is a whole system of violence itself but beyond that, considering the whole point of the book is about how sexual/gender based violence can be discrete and insidious these purported solutions again seemed ... weird and missing the point.
August 4, 2021
Un vraiment fantastique essai qui s'attarde à la figure du féministe chauviniste ou en d'autres mots, cet allié qui ne donne que son support pour en tirer bénéfice avec une analyse structurelle des enjeux, de nombreux témoignages appuyées aussi par la vie de son autrice, avec des exemples ET des contre-exemples intéressants (ainsi que des explorations, bien que brèves, concernant les prétendus flous des agressions sexuelles).
Un des essais qui peut définitivement éclairé immensément sur le faux allié, les techniques de manipulations et de gaslighting (je recommande vraiment la qualité de l'analyse sur le gaslighting, c'est une des immenses force du livre), ainsi qu'une réflexion plus large sur la culture, avant, pendant et après #metoo, les attitudes qui changent, les excuses (sincères ou non) qui sortent, les conséquences qui surviennent (ou non), etc. Il y a aussi de larges réflexions, un peu foucaldiennes ;), sur les dynamiques de pouvoir sociales (à l'université, au travail, etc.). S'il y a des gens qui posent tout le temps la question: "oui, mais les hommes aussi" ou "oui, mais les femmes aussi", Sam Mills discute aussi de ces questions-là en leurs propres termes (tout en l'inscrivant dans une plus large discussion sur le patriarcat).
Autant un essai fort de par sa qualité argumentative, de son utilité comme bonnes sources d'exemples et d'arguments, mais, sans révolutionner le monde, réussit à innover dans le bon sens, réfléchir avec beaucoup d'acuité sur une actualité très proche, très présente et sur un monde et des attitude en changement. Sa force de pouvoir parler librement d'exemples concrets, d'expériences personnelles, tout en l'ancrant librement dans la théorie féministe large en fait un ouvrage accessible et pertinent à tous les niveaux de lecture et de parcours féministes.
La question de l'allié (ou du prétendu) n'est pas souvent posé je pense, mais ici, il est bien exploré, nuancé et contribue définitivement à une discussion qui mérite de se poursuivre. Une belle découverte!
Un des essais qui peut définitivement éclairé immensément sur le faux allié, les techniques de manipulations et de gaslighting (je recommande vraiment la qualité de l'analyse sur le gaslighting, c'est une des immenses force du livre), ainsi qu'une réflexion plus large sur la culture, avant, pendant et après #metoo, les attitudes qui changent, les excuses (sincères ou non) qui sortent, les conséquences qui surviennent (ou non), etc. Il y a aussi de larges réflexions, un peu foucaldiennes ;), sur les dynamiques de pouvoir sociales (à l'université, au travail, etc.). S'il y a des gens qui posent tout le temps la question: "oui, mais les hommes aussi" ou "oui, mais les femmes aussi", Sam Mills discute aussi de ces questions-là en leurs propres termes (tout en l'inscrivant dans une plus large discussion sur le patriarcat).
Autant un essai fort de par sa qualité argumentative, de son utilité comme bonnes sources d'exemples et d'arguments, mais, sans révolutionner le monde, réussit à innover dans le bon sens, réfléchir avec beaucoup d'acuité sur une actualité très proche, très présente et sur un monde et des attitude en changement. Sa force de pouvoir parler librement d'exemples concrets, d'expériences personnelles, tout en l'ancrant librement dans la théorie féministe large en fait un ouvrage accessible et pertinent à tous les niveaux de lecture et de parcours féministes.
La question de l'allié (ou du prétendu) n'est pas souvent posé je pense, mais ici, il est bien exploré, nuancé et contribue définitivement à une discussion qui mérite de se poursuivre. Une belle découverte!
June 2, 2021
Reading this book reminded me of when #MeToo went viral, following the Weinstein allegations, and everyone suddenly seemed to be talking about it. It made me miss the wonderful conversations my friend and I used to have. I really enjoyed participating in that conversation again, through reading this book, and I hope Chauvo-Feminism sparks discussion. Like all good essays, there were moments when I found myself nodding along, and there were points I disagreed with. I like that this book knows what it is - a problem I often have with personal works of non-fiction on topical issues. Chauvo-Feminism: On Sex, Power and #MeToo is an eloquent, well-structured long essay, which uses the (wonderful) concept of a 'chauvo-feminist' (a man who veils his chauvinism behind a façade of feminism) to discuss sex and sexism in the age of #MeToo.
April 7, 2024
it felt more like a big pondering over her own experience rather than really looking at how "chauvofeminism" presents itself, and i didn't appreciate the ableism
April 29, 2021
A lucid, well researched, and intellectually honest consideration of the #MeToo moment. It's strung through with a personal account, which puts the issues being talked about into a nuanced context and gives the book considerable momentum. Perhaps, I would have liked to see a bit more delving into the self-contradictory thought processes of 'chauvo-feminists' themselves, though I appreciate that can be hard to do in a work of non-fiction.
April 23, 2021
In Chauvo-Feminism, Mills turns the lens back onto men, and asks if performative allyship with the #MeToo movement is allowing a new kind of chauvinist to evade detection. She details her own experiences with one such man, and provides one of the best descriptions of the now-ubiquitous expression ‘gas-lighting’ that I’ve come across. What was really interesting to me was that as I read of her interactions with R, the anonymous chauvo-feminist she encounters, I found myself going back and forth as to whether I could find any ‘wrong-doing’ in his actions, until I realised that the reason it was hard for me to condemn his behaviour was because it is SO common, I’ve seen and experienced it so often, that it feels normal to me. And that, as I think Mills is arguing, is the problem – these kinds of behaviours are so insidious, and as women we are so used to them, that as long as more overt anti-feminist stances appear to be vanishing off the radar, we’re at risk of thinking the work is done, and equality is all but achieved.
The conversations around #MeToo have, by their very nature of occurring mostly on social media, been performative to a certain extent. It is very difficult to have honest talks, even in person, about these issues – I am sure I am not alone in having had some fairly fraught conversations even with those men closest to me, where no one wants to step outside of the accepted rhetoric and pull at some of the loose threads. I have had some pretty open discussions, too, but even with those I love, we are dancing around the edges of something dangerous when we press too far into the truth of some of the feelings that the #MeToo movement has provoked. I honestly don’t even want to go into detail here for fear of making it sound like I know chauvo-feminists – you can see how fraught it is! The very fact, however, that it all feels so uncomfortable to discuss is an absolutely blinding sign that we NEED to be talking about it.
Luckily, Sam Mills is far bolder and more eloquent than I am, and here she uncovers much of the hypocrisy that swims around the rhetoric. She weaves anecdote and research with aplomb, creating a highly engaging, readable account that gave me so much food for thought. I highly recommend getting your hands on this short but impactful piece of writing, and opening yourself up to some of the difficult conversations it will provoke.
The conversations around #MeToo have, by their very nature of occurring mostly on social media, been performative to a certain extent. It is very difficult to have honest talks, even in person, about these issues – I am sure I am not alone in having had some fairly fraught conversations even with those men closest to me, where no one wants to step outside of the accepted rhetoric and pull at some of the loose threads. I have had some pretty open discussions, too, but even with those I love, we are dancing around the edges of something dangerous when we press too far into the truth of some of the feelings that the #MeToo movement has provoked. I honestly don’t even want to go into detail here for fear of making it sound like I know chauvo-feminists – you can see how fraught it is! The very fact, however, that it all feels so uncomfortable to discuss is an absolutely blinding sign that we NEED to be talking about it.
Luckily, Sam Mills is far bolder and more eloquent than I am, and here she uncovers much of the hypocrisy that swims around the rhetoric. She weaves anecdote and research with aplomb, creating a highly engaging, readable account that gave me so much food for thought. I highly recommend getting your hands on this short but impactful piece of writing, and opening yourself up to some of the difficult conversations it will provoke.
January 21, 2025
“I have felt the profound impact of the cultural change brought about by #MeToo on my life. It influenced my ability to [...] process my difficult experiences with a chauvo-feminist. It gave me the courage eventually to fight back against him.” Sam Mills’ Chauvo-Feminism: On Sex, Power and #MeToo is an engaging and oh-so-timely look at the insidious threat posed to women and feminism by what Mills terms chauvo-feminists: men who perform a brand of feminism online + in person in order to provide cover for their misogyny. Mills is upfront in sympathising with men who suffer indirectly under misogyny (“a desire to be free from gender stereotypes as well, from the way that misogyny undermines and cages men as well as women.”), but doesn’t centre or cater to them, either. I’m not totally sure of Mills’ critique/rejection of the term ‘toxic masculinity’ — I feel that clarification might be better than abandonment when it comes to a handy, recognisable phrase. But that’s one of the only points of contention I have; Mills tells a personal account of one chauvo-feminist who impacted her life, laced with something more journalistic, theoretical, and political in nature, that is compelling and thoughtful at all times. There’s a refreshing position of arguing for hope and redemption, indicating what the hopes of the #MeToo movement are: to bring truth to light, to validate victims, and to ask the guilty to apologise, atone, and be better.
June 6, 2021
Chauvo-Feminism (On Sex, Power and #MeToo) by Sam Mills
This is an essay style book which examines the various facets of feminism with particular emphasis on the #MeToo movement of 2017, noting that me too was originally coined in 2006 by sexual harassment survivor and activist Tarana Burke.
Mills explores the nuances of people’s behaviour, particularly the gap between private and public self, sex and violence, abortion rights, trial by Twitter and wider societal pressures and cultural expectations between the sexes.
Mills also weaves her personal experience of ‘R’ who exhibits traits of chauvo-feminism i.e. being hot and cold with her (and others) but also looks at the power dynamic between them and how it affects her professionally as well as personally.
This informative and well researched book demonstrates the hypocrisy and rhetoric of ‘bad boy feminism’ and Mills indicates that there are many ways to achieve a more equal society if both sexes work together.
This is an essay style book which examines the various facets of feminism with particular emphasis on the #MeToo movement of 2017, noting that me too was originally coined in 2006 by sexual harassment survivor and activist Tarana Burke.
Mills explores the nuances of people’s behaviour, particularly the gap between private and public self, sex and violence, abortion rights, trial by Twitter and wider societal pressures and cultural expectations between the sexes.
Mills also weaves her personal experience of ‘R’ who exhibits traits of chauvo-feminism i.e. being hot and cold with her (and others) but also looks at the power dynamic between them and how it affects her professionally as well as personally.
This informative and well researched book demonstrates the hypocrisy and rhetoric of ‘bad boy feminism’ and Mills indicates that there are many ways to achieve a more equal society if both sexes work together.
August 8, 2023
Really interesting and incisive read - the concept of the ‘chauvo-feminist’ is so relevant - I think most, if not all women will know or have known one - and I enjoyed the memoir element, grounded in women’s experiences. It’s also one of the first feminist texts I’ve read since uni that’s been something new to read and has reinvigorated my feminist thought.
However, there are some issues for me personally - I felt that Aziz Ansari and Jordan Peterson (as examples) were let off the hook quite easily, and some of the narrative around ‘celebrating’ men for doing the bare minimum didn’t quite sit right with me. Referencing Dave Chappelle also has not aged well! Parts of it felt aimed to pacify, rather than provoke thought.
Other than that though, lots of post it notes stuck in for sections to refer back to and some really great thought about how women are perceived, how we are expected to behave, and what we can hope for going forward.
However, there are some issues for me personally - I felt that Aziz Ansari and Jordan Peterson (as examples) were let off the hook quite easily, and some of the narrative around ‘celebrating’ men for doing the bare minimum didn’t quite sit right with me. Referencing Dave Chappelle also has not aged well! Parts of it felt aimed to pacify, rather than provoke thought.
Other than that though, lots of post it notes stuck in for sections to refer back to and some really great thought about how women are perceived, how we are expected to behave, and what we can hope for going forward.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 15, 2023
Brings up important points and accessible in its approach. It is disturbing how some of the points Mills made about moving backwards has become true in a post-Roe v Wade society.
I think its message was good and would recommend giving it to male relatives as a way into this sort of criticism and reflection. As I know feminist theory fairly well, a lot of the points I was already familiar with so it didn't necessarily trigger deep reflection for me, but this does not detract from the essay itself.
I think its message was good and would recommend giving it to male relatives as a way into this sort of criticism and reflection. As I know feminist theory fairly well, a lot of the points I was already familiar with so it didn't necessarily trigger deep reflection for me, but this does not detract from the essay itself.
April 18, 2021
This book is a powerful read. It skilfully weaves between the author’s experience with a chauvo-feminist and with the wider feminist movement and the ongoing impact of #metoo.
I’d recommend this book to absolutely anyone. Mills writes well, it’s personal and also widely applicable. The message is a powerful one of combining anger with love to reach the goal of equality.
March 9, 2024
2,5. Niet zo heel vernieuwend, had een grotere diepere analyse verwacht van de linkse progressieve jongens en de manier waarop schijnfeminisme zich vertaald. Ik zal er wel een boek over schrijven xoxo
November 28, 2023
Mooi eindpleidooi aan de hand van bell hooks, krachtig voor- en nawoord (van Daan Borrel en Michiel van der Padt) maar vaak raakte Mills me in de tussentijd kwijt.
July 1, 2025
3.5 ⭐️
February 5, 2023
Insightful long essay on the author’s personal experiences with sexist individuals. Very contemporary and interesting if you want to learn about modern feminist issues.
August 29, 2023
Ik vond het een goed boek maar niet heel bijzonder
June 7, 2022
Very well written, interesting and readable. Thought provoking.
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews