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A Perfect Nightmare: My Glittering Marriage and How It Almost Cost Me My Life
“A chilling portrait of the ways that abuse can be hidden behind a glittering façade. It’s also a compelling story of a woman learning to navigate pain, mental illness, and trauma, until finally becoming an advocate for her own strength and healing.” –ELIZABETH RENZETTI, author of A Wry and Closely Observed Look at the Lives of Women and Girls Karen Gosbee had it a successful husband, three beautiful children, the homes, the cars, the jewelery, the A-list invitations. Her life looked perfect and as her husband, George, liked to say, appearances are everything. But at the height of his success as an owner of a major American sports franchise, cracks appeared in George’s carefully constructed façade. Karen could not ignore his increasingly erratic and self-destructive behaviour, which spiralled from affairs and hard-drinking to prostitutes and drug abuse. Nor could she escape his abuse as emotional bullying escalated into dangerous beatings. A Perfect Nightmare is the story of a woman’s awakening to the realities of her failing marriage and her desperate struggle - one that would end in headlines and tragedy - to bring herself and her children to safety.
176 pages, Paperback
First published October 20, 2020
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews
March 19, 2021
"[I had] insecurity about my intelligence and my lack of education, and George's attacks focused on me being 'uneducated.' He'd say 'You're so ****ing stupid, you don't know anything,' or mock me by cruelly imitating the voice of someone with special needs . . . Anything that went wrong would be my fault: 'If only you could do only [this or that], WE wouldn't have a problem . . . He'd say I wasn't attentive enough to him. He'd also say he treated me better than my own family did . . . His attacks were designed to belittle me and assert his dominance in the relationship." -- author Gosbee, on page 21
Ms. Gosbee's A Perfect Nightmare was one hell of a compelling memoir that chronicles her 20+ years in a toxic marital relationship. Now, a churlish person may ask why she did not just 'walk away' from such a situation, and the author does an illuminating job in explaining how any woman - regardless of race, class status, religious beliefs - can ultimately become trapped or stuck by her circumstances.
The author, a native of the Alberta province in western Canada - her hometown is Edmonton, and she later settled in Calgary - at first details her childhood years growing up with and being unduly influenced by an aloof physician father and a mother who battled both alcoholism and mental health issues. During her college years in the early 90's she meets the entrepreneurial George Gosbee, a similar-aged young man from a moneyed family who already seems to have a problem with alcohol. (But since he's still young it's seen as frat-house funny but not quite alarming at the time.) She gets pregnant after only dating him for several months, and they quickly marry. An ominous sign of the next two decades is when he verbally explodes "with a fury I'd never seen" days after their wedding.
Although they would have three children together and some happy times, Ms. Gosbee documents her husband descending into increasingly erratic and self-destructive behavior and having it affect the entire family. Of course, she received the worst of his treatment - although physical abuse was rare (not that it should've happened AT ALL to her), she was regularly victimized by his mental and verbal cruelty amidst his numerous extramarital affairs and irresponsible financial decisions. I think there will be certain folks who will roll their eyes and scoff that is simply about "pretty people with problems" (as they were an attractive and affluent couple), but Ms. Gosbee is extremely effective in showing just how many troublesome things were occurring behind their carefully maintained facade.
Ms. Gosbee's A Perfect Nightmare was one hell of a compelling memoir that chronicles her 20+ years in a toxic marital relationship. Now, a churlish person may ask why she did not just 'walk away' from such a situation, and the author does an illuminating job in explaining how any woman - regardless of race, class status, religious beliefs - can ultimately become trapped or stuck by her circumstances.
The author, a native of the Alberta province in western Canada - her hometown is Edmonton, and she later settled in Calgary - at first details her childhood years growing up with and being unduly influenced by an aloof physician father and a mother who battled both alcoholism and mental health issues. During her college years in the early 90's she meets the entrepreneurial George Gosbee, a similar-aged young man from a moneyed family who already seems to have a problem with alcohol. (But since he's still young it's seen as frat-house funny but not quite alarming at the time.) She gets pregnant after only dating him for several months, and they quickly marry. An ominous sign of the next two decades is when he verbally explodes "with a fury I'd never seen" days after their wedding.
Although they would have three children together and some happy times, Ms. Gosbee documents her husband descending into increasingly erratic and self-destructive behavior and having it affect the entire family. Of course, she received the worst of his treatment - although physical abuse was rare (not that it should've happened AT ALL to her), she was regularly victimized by his mental and verbal cruelty amidst his numerous extramarital affairs and irresponsible financial decisions. I think there will be certain folks who will roll their eyes and scoff that is simply about "pretty people with problems" (as they were an attractive and affluent couple), but Ms. Gosbee is extremely effective in showing just how many troublesome things were occurring behind their carefully maintained facade.
November 5, 2021
Interesting read about a picture perfect family, but rotten in the core. His abuse and mental health issues were alarming, and his treatment of Karen as a woman with few smarts was horrifying. As to why she didn’t leave, it’s clear just who had the control, and as she got stronger in her self-awareness, his mental health spiralled down, culminating in his suicide. I applaud her for coming forward and being totally honest in this book. (I would have given this 4 stars, if not for the poor editing,that detracted from the story.)
April 22, 2021
Could not put this down. This slim book is the story of Karen Gosbee, who was married to an affluent Calgary businessman named George Gosbee. George was extremely abusive, and her memoir reveals his extensive abuse. This book is informative about a variety of forms of internal partner violence, and is also explicit about affluent partner violence and how it manifests.
I live in a city 3 hours from Calgary- and was quite interested to learn about some of these affluent circles and the things that happens within.
This is a dark story, and I'm glad Karen had the courage to tell it. Kudos also to the late Anne Kingston, who she credits in her acknowledgements.
I live in a city 3 hours from Calgary- and was quite interested to learn about some of these affluent circles and the things that happens within.
This is a dark story, and I'm glad Karen had the courage to tell it. Kudos also to the late Anne Kingston, who she credits in her acknowledgements.
November 20, 2020
A must read for anyone caught in the “their life is perfect” net
Major applause to Karen Gosbee for her survival, her finally admitting to herself, and for being able to write such an open and heart wrenching but yet powerful book about her story. Not only does it shed light onto relationship abuse, substance abuse, and mental illness, it also proves that one should never, ever judge the outside. It’s pure proof that anyone stuck in that “their life is better than mine” belief, especially that which is brought on by social media, really needs to open their eyes to reality. I never give anything 5 stars but this book really is eye opening.
Major applause to Karen Gosbee for her survival, her finally admitting to herself, and for being able to write such an open and heart wrenching but yet powerful book about her story. Not only does it shed light onto relationship abuse, substance abuse, and mental illness, it also proves that one should never, ever judge the outside. It’s pure proof that anyone stuck in that “their life is better than mine” belief, especially that which is brought on by social media, really needs to open their eyes to reality. I never give anything 5 stars but this book really is eye opening.
March 19, 2022
I can relate to this book all too well. Growing up in an abusive household does crazy things to a person - loss of a sense of self worth, identity, boundaries, confidence, and ability to visualize something better for yourself. In adulthood it repeats itself all too easily in relationships, romantic and otherwise. My heart breaks for women like Karen who get involved with these men at a young age - when there hasn’t been enough of a break between their abusive youth for them to have formulated an identify on their own and to have healed.
This book was horrifying because I could see how close I’d come in my life to going down the same road. I was in a series of abusive relationships for too long, but was spared the decades of torment that could have come with marriage. Survivors of narcissistic abuse (George was clearly a narcissist whose abuse was amplified by other mental issues) often say that it took them decades to realize they were married to a narcissist, and it seems all too common for people to have that realization in their fifties. I feel so fortunate to have had my own breakthrough in my late 20s after an atrocious over the top experience finally forced me to look at myself and see the pattern I’d been allowing over and over again. I’m still heartbroken for the years of my life that I lost living in fear and torment, but grateful to have escaped.
Society needs to find a solution to narcissism. The destructive force of even one narcissist is astounding, with ripple effects stemming from everything they touch. Not to mention the spiral they’re leading us toward as a society by often being the people who make it to the top of corporations, governments etc. As far as I can tell there is no cure for narcissism, and I can only imagine the collective damage to society caused by these people.
To wait for a narcissist to change is to only prolong abuse and make it more likely you’ll fall prey to future abuse. To all the people out there struggling with narcissistic abuse - LEAVE. Read as much as you can about narcissism and let it sink in that you are nothing more than a mistreated play thing to these monsters. Let yourself get angry. They will never change. Things will never get better. You can’t help/fix them. They don’t actually care about you, and never will, and there is nothing you can do to change that. I really hope that this book helps people who might be in a similar situation wake up and go on to live a better life. Because a life finally narcissist free has been the sweetest thing I could have imagined and I am infinitely better off. You deserve better too.
This book was horrifying because I could see how close I’d come in my life to going down the same road. I was in a series of abusive relationships for too long, but was spared the decades of torment that could have come with marriage. Survivors of narcissistic abuse (George was clearly a narcissist whose abuse was amplified by other mental issues) often say that it took them decades to realize they were married to a narcissist, and it seems all too common for people to have that realization in their fifties. I feel so fortunate to have had my own breakthrough in my late 20s after an atrocious over the top experience finally forced me to look at myself and see the pattern I’d been allowing over and over again. I’m still heartbroken for the years of my life that I lost living in fear and torment, but grateful to have escaped.
Society needs to find a solution to narcissism. The destructive force of even one narcissist is astounding, with ripple effects stemming from everything they touch. Not to mention the spiral they’re leading us toward as a society by often being the people who make it to the top of corporations, governments etc. As far as I can tell there is no cure for narcissism, and I can only imagine the collective damage to society caused by these people.
To wait for a narcissist to change is to only prolong abuse and make it more likely you’ll fall prey to future abuse. To all the people out there struggling with narcissistic abuse - LEAVE. Read as much as you can about narcissism and let it sink in that you are nothing more than a mistreated play thing to these monsters. Let yourself get angry. They will never change. Things will never get better. You can’t help/fix them. They don’t actually care about you, and never will, and there is nothing you can do to change that. I really hope that this book helps people who might be in a similar situation wake up and go on to live a better life. Because a life finally narcissist free has been the sweetest thing I could have imagined and I am infinitely better off. You deserve better too.
October 17, 2022
An interesting way to read this book is from the side of Gosbee's business ventures. George Gosbee appeared to be an extremely successful businessman from Calgary, however Gosbee's success was largely luck that coincided with the run up in oil prices that ended dramatically in 2014. Gosbee also became the frontman "owner" of the financially troubled Arizona Coyotes NHL team in 2013. Along with the 2013 Calgary flood, this led to increased isolation from his family and magnified the problems caused by his bipolar and alcoholism. With his other business ventures in trouble and his successful businessman facade beginning to crack Gosbee embezzled the proceeds from the sale of his share of the Coyotes. By November 2017 Gosbee's marriage was in tatters and he was facing probable financial ruin, and with his mental illness, suicide was his only way out. Gosbee was used by NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman to put a successful face on the latest attempt to keep the Coyotes in Arizona. When Gosbee's Ice Arizona group became another failed attempt to save the Coyotes, George Gosbee paid the highest price when Ice Arizona crumbled.
April 11, 2021
Normally, I would avoid these types of books, as they annoy me to no end. I get all judgy about everyone: the man for such inexcusable behavior and the woman for staying. But this one was read due to voyeurism.
We knew “of” the Gosbees, and in fact had briefly met them twice before.
If George was worried about appearances, he had nothing to worry about. They looked exactly as he wanted us to believe. Beautiful couple. Happy. Well put together, as that kind of cash could portray.
Karen did a good job of helping me understand the 6 way dynamic of a misfunctional family: both sets of parents who meddled from the beginning, George, and how Karen tried to please everyone.
The most telling sentence in the whole book was after George died and the Gosbees told Karen they didn’t blame her!
Who says that? Who even thinks that would be something that needed to be said? The whole book was mind blowing for me - a man like that wouldn’t have lasted an hour with me.
(There was 4 spelling/grammatical errors in the book - I love looking for them when I read books!)
We knew “of” the Gosbees, and in fact had briefly met them twice before.
If George was worried about appearances, he had nothing to worry about. They looked exactly as he wanted us to believe. Beautiful couple. Happy. Well put together, as that kind of cash could portray.
Karen did a good job of helping me understand the 6 way dynamic of a misfunctional family: both sets of parents who meddled from the beginning, George, and how Karen tried to please everyone.
The most telling sentence in the whole book was after George died and the Gosbees told Karen they didn’t blame her!
Who says that? Who even thinks that would be something that needed to be said? The whole book was mind blowing for me - a man like that wouldn’t have lasted an hour with me.
(There was 4 spelling/grammatical errors in the book - I love looking for them when I read books!)
April 24, 2021
Karen Gosbee's revelation of the realities in the face of a seemingly "perfect" marriage to a successful Calgary businessman struggling with substance abuse and mental health challenges is sometimes difficult to read. His constant verbal, and sometimes physical, abuse are difficult to process while reading this book. It is challenging to imagine what Karen had to endure while raising her three children with such an abusive husband, and also facing catastrophes like two floods in Calgary. As the mayor of Calgary describes in this clip, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TIlr6..., one in four people will suffer from mental health issues, or have family or friends with them. After witnessing similar patterns in someone that I know, this book helped me to see that the person will need to address the mental illness before getting help.
June 11, 2021
Very honest chronicle of a very flawed marriage. From the outside the Gosbees had it all, the homes, cars, kids, lavish vacations, expensive hobbies. The ugly underbelly of all of this contained untreated mental illness, substance abuse and codependency.
As the author deftly points out, we often have little sympathy for well-to-do spouses who say they are in an abusive relationship. Why didn't you leave? You have all this money, you can afford to jet across the world at the drop of a hat, why didn't you just grab your kids and run? The reality of these situations is a lot more complicated. Kudos to Gosbee for her honesty and for shining a light on something that she could have easily kept under wraps. The harder choice was to tell the truth.
As the author deftly points out, we often have little sympathy for well-to-do spouses who say they are in an abusive relationship. Why didn't you leave? You have all this money, you can afford to jet across the world at the drop of a hat, why didn't you just grab your kids and run? The reality of these situations is a lot more complicated. Kudos to Gosbee for her honesty and for shining a light on something that she could have easily kept under wraps. The harder choice was to tell the truth.
December 6, 2020
Karen Gosbee had a perfect looking life as the wife of one of Canada’s most successful and charismatic business leaders. Nobody knew that behind the facade of the perfect family, Karen and her children were subjected to her husband’s violent outbursts, driven by the substance misuse and metal health issues that ultimately led to his death. In her book, A Perfect Nightmare: My Glittering Marriage and How It Almost Cost Me My Life, Gosbee outlines how abuse works in high net worth families where money and status often buys silence and complicity from others. She outlines the obstacles to leaving, including highlighting the issue of trapped capital where one can have assets on paper but no access to the cash to rent a place or hire a lawyer. This book, which was co-written by the late Anne Kingston is raw, informative, and beautifully written. A must-read for any divorce professional who deals with high net worth divorcing clients or any woman who identifies with Gosbee’s situation.
November 21, 2021
This book is so forthright and honest. There is no fluff. Karen tells her story, and that of her family, in a way that anyone remotely touched by domestic violence , in all its forms, can relate. There is also excellent reference material throughout the text. This story is as much about family love and respect, as it is about the mental illnesses and addictions that can tear it apart.
In the end is hope, as Karen and her family also share their healing experiences, which enable them to continue to love and respect the husband and father around whom they all revolved.
In the end is hope, as Karen and her family also share their healing experiences, which enable them to continue to love and respect the husband and father around whom they all revolved.
May 8, 2021
"A Perfect Nightmare" is a truly fitting title for this book. The author's life looked perfect from the outside, but was truly horrific. Karen Gosbee does a huge service by bravely sharing her story - one of great privilege and affluence, yet tremendous abuse and a life lived in fear. Many think someone in her position would be able to escape, but in the book she explains how this happened to her and how it can happen to anyone, regardless of socioeconomic status.
June 6, 2021
The intimate and heartbreaking story of a CALGARY power couple and their family struggling with the issues of mental health and eventual suicide. Karen Gosbee doesn’t hold back and telling the story of her marriage to George Cosby. The life of the well-to-do does not preclude a life haunted by mental health issues.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 12, 2024
Karen, the author married George, they lived in Calgary Alberta. Soon after their marriage, he started to have anger blowups which turned into physical and mental abuse. She continued to try and make it work. She soon found out the real person he was and his secrets.
‘ was neat to recognize most the places she talked about”
‘ was neat to recognize most the places she talked about”
September 7, 2025
2.5 stars. An interesting read, also appealing as it is a Canadian family and also a true story. There were quite a few spelling and grammar errors so I felt it stole my focus at times.
I love getting a different perspective into the lives of real people and not the make belief lives people portray.
I love getting a different perspective into the lives of real people and not the make belief lives people portray.
November 27, 2025
An unflinching account of a life that looked very different in Calgary society than it did behind closed doors. Karen’s forthright voice and the vivid scenarios stay with you long after you put the book down. Her ability to express love for George in the acknowledgements is a mark of her resilience and empathy as is the final chapter where she outlines her ongoing advocacy in this space.
May 20, 2021
Memoir about a Canadian woman who suffered spousal abuse. Factual recitation of situation without literary embellishment. Could have been a long magazine article. Interesting but not particularly moving.
June 1, 2021
Fast read. Lots of triggers
Our lives are similar without the wealth. Leaving isn't always an option sometimes you're stuck forever especially if you don't have money. The scene she describes of the head in the freezer from a movie, I too have a memory of that.
Our lives are similar without the wealth. Leaving isn't always an option sometimes you're stuck forever especially if you don't have money. The scene she describes of the head in the freezer from a movie, I too have a memory of that.
November 26, 2023
A tale of a dysfunctional family with a history of abuse, addiction, mental illness etc. Apparently the writing was therapeutic for the author but also creating awareness of family abuse. However the poor editing made it an uncomfortable read.
April 10, 2021
Eye-opening about the happenings that go on behind closed doors. Felt a bit wrong to be so scathing posthumously, but a story worth telling nonetheless.
May 6, 2021
This memoir is extremely disturbing but the author does a good job of describing events with empathy and compassion.
May 24, 2021
4 words
Four words...they deserved each other. I felt sorry for their kids who were the true victims in this sad sick nightmare. I hope they are all doing well.
Four words...they deserved each other. I felt sorry for their kids who were the true victims in this sad sick nightmare. I hope they are all doing well.
May 28, 2021
This is a great book about domestic abuse as well as mental health issues! Things are NOT always what they seem!
June 14, 2021
Good memoir of a dangerous marriage. Having been through some similar situations myself, I could relate to a lot of what the writer described.
July 18, 2021
Not for the faint of heart.
February 16, 2022
It's really sad thinking this is the way some people live. Really inspiring what the author did for her family and what they are doing now
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 19, 2023
A disturbing read having grown up with the family. I’ve always like Karen so I am happy for her.
December 6, 2024
I can’t believe I spent $20 on this book. I could barely finish it. The writing wasn’t great, but the editing was atrocious. So many missing/misspelled words. Did she publish it herself?
June 6, 2025
Disturbing, sad, hard to believe.
June 14, 2021
Read it in a day. Obsessed.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews