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The Very Secret Sex Lives of Medieval Women
What Was Sex Like for a Medieval Woman?An inside look at sexual practices in the medieval world. Were medieval women slaves to their husband's desires, jealously secured in a chastity belt in his absence? Was sex a duty or could it be a pleasure? Did a woman have a say about her own female sexuality, her own body, and who did or didn't get up close and personal with it? No. And yes. It's complicated.
Let's look behind closed doors. The intimate lives of medieval women were as complex as for modern woman. They loved and lost, hoped and schemed, were lifted up and cast down. They were hopeful and lovelorn. Some had it forced upon them, others made aphrodisiacs and dressed for success. Some were chaste and some were lusty. Having sex was complicated. Not having sex, was even more so.
Inside The Very Secret Sex Lives of Medieval Women, a fascinating book about life during medieval times, you will discover tantalizing true stories about medieval women and a myriad of historical facts. Learn about:
The experiences of women from all classes, including women who made history
The dos and don'ts in the bedroom
Sexy foods and how to have them
All you need to know for your wedding night, and well as insider medical advice
How to get pregnant (and how not to), and more
Fans of The Time Traveller's Guide to Medieval England, Medieval Women and Terry Jonses's Medieval Lives will meet real women and hear their voices in The Very Secret Sex Lives of Medieval Women.
Let's look behind closed doors. The intimate lives of medieval women were as complex as for modern woman. They loved and lost, hoped and schemed, were lifted up and cast down. They were hopeful and lovelorn. Some had it forced upon them, others made aphrodisiacs and dressed for success. Some were chaste and some were lusty. Having sex was complicated. Not having sex, was even more so.
Inside The Very Secret Sex Lives of Medieval Women, a fascinating book about life during medieval times, you will discover tantalizing true stories about medieval women and a myriad of historical facts. Learn about:
The experiences of women from all classes, including women who made history
The dos and don'ts in the bedroom
Sexy foods and how to have them
All you need to know for your wedding night, and well as insider medical advice
How to get pregnant (and how not to), and more
Fans of The Time Traveller's Guide to Medieval England, Medieval Women and Terry Jonses's Medieval Lives will meet real women and hear their voices in The Very Secret Sex Lives of Medieval Women.
324 pages, ebook
Published January 1, 2020
905 people are currently reading
3325 people want to read
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June 30, 2021
Most countries, most religions, most laws, most of recorded time have been directed at controlling women, at curtailing any self-determination that does not fit in with the will of men. It hasn't changed, in fact it getting worse with women who are attempting to protect some of the gains we've made being insulted if not cancelled, and other freedoms and rights just lost without any ability to protest against them. This review is a rant very much inspired by the book.
This book is not really about the sex lives of medieval women, but about their lives from the point of view of how they were controlled. What they could do as unmarried, married and widowed women in religion, personal lives and business with a concentration on who they were allowed sex with. Unmarried woman and widows not at all, married women with their husbands and possibly the vowed-to-be-celibate local priest who, in those times when religion and law were almost indistinguishable, wielded a lot of power, and the wife could be used for the husband's advantage.
Women who were on their own without means of earning money or just fancied the easier way and became prostitutes or were suspected of being so from the usual gossip - which women as much as men indulge in 'she's a slut', 'she slept with...' could have sex with whomever they pleased and had better save their money. No one was ever going to marry them. Old prostitutes (average life expectancy for women then was only 43 years) had not much chance of business so it was either savings or going to live in a nunnery having repented, prayers five times a day, no social life, hard work but food, clothing and shelter and she might find a 'friendly' nun!
Because religion controlled everything, a woman was able, even in marriage to say God spoke to her and told her to be chaste. So that was that, her husband couldn't touch her and she couldn't have sex. Unless of course he raped her which wasn't likely to cause him any problems. In most countries of the world today, a man has conjugal rights and if he takes them without consent, that is not considered any kind of offence.
In any case, rape is fine. It was then, it still is, hardly any men get reported, and only a tiny minorited prosecuted, and a miniscule percentage actually convicted. In the US out of every 1,000 cases of sexual assault reported by women, only 25 men will be convicted. It is thought that less than one third of cases are reported, so out of 3,000 cases of assault, 0.83% of men will be punished.
In the UK it is worse. Figures show that 25% of women (over 16) have been sexually assaulted or raped during their lifetime but that less than one-sixth of assaults are reported, so for every 1,000 reported, 5,000 more men assaulted and raped women without any fear of reprisals. The police only prosecuted 1.6% of rape cases reported by women, this is down from almost 4% on 2016. I didn't see a figure for convictions. If the majority of the police force, the Crown prosecution service and the judiciary were women, I don't think we would be seeing such a flippant attitude towards sexual assault on women.
So back to Medieval times. Rape was treated much the same as now. Accuse a man and get it as far as court, what a joke, you were a slag, you should be fined for wasting the court's time and besmirching the good name of the man. Or, the easy get out, the papers were not correctly filled in and filed - women were not educated by and large so they would have to pay a man to fill them in and if he didn't do it correctly, there you go. Another man set free. Another woman fined. Report a robbery or destruction of property and now as then, you have more chance of succeeding in the court than reporting the sexual taking and assault on your own body without your consent.
There was another issue. A woman who got pregnant through rape, couldn't have been raped. It was thought that both a woman and man must orgasm for a baby to be conceived. So she couldn't possibly have been raped. Just a slag trying to explain away why she willingly slept with a man she wasn't married to.
The author swings between amusement at the various remedies for women's problems, and for engendering lust in either sex, birth control, abortions and bitterness, both disguised by a jocular tone of voice. Hildegard von Bingen, a stunningly clever polymath, abbess, businesswoman and author and very much a hero of mine was much quoted.
If the whole book had been written with the reverse pronouns and printed as dystopian fiction someone might have thought making a film of it would have been a good idea. But that was the reality of women, dystopian much.
The book was exceedingly well-researched and written. The somewhat jocular tone of the author jarred a bit at first, but it became a kind of 'making the best of it' tone of voice. The author kept her solid research interesting and a good read, when in other hands it could easily have been text-book dry. I look forward to reading her future books.
Notes on reading
This book is not really about the sex lives of medieval women, but about their lives from the point of view of how they were controlled. What they could do as unmarried, married and widowed women in religion, personal lives and business with a concentration on who they were allowed sex with. Unmarried woman and widows not at all, married women with their husbands and possibly the vowed-to-be-celibate local priest who, in those times when religion and law were almost indistinguishable, wielded a lot of power, and the wife could be used for the husband's advantage.
Women who were on their own without means of earning money or just fancied the easier way and became prostitutes or were suspected of being so from the usual gossip - which women as much as men indulge in 'she's a slut', 'she slept with...' could have sex with whomever they pleased and had better save their money. No one was ever going to marry them. Old prostitutes (average life expectancy for women then was only 43 years) had not much chance of business so it was either savings or going to live in a nunnery having repented, prayers five times a day, no social life, hard work but food, clothing and shelter and she might find a 'friendly' nun!
Because religion controlled everything, a woman was able, even in marriage to say God spoke to her and told her to be chaste. So that was that, her husband couldn't touch her and she couldn't have sex. Unless of course he raped her which wasn't likely to cause him any problems. In most countries of the world today, a man has conjugal rights and if he takes them without consent, that is not considered any kind of offence.
In any case, rape is fine. It was then, it still is, hardly any men get reported, and only a tiny minorited prosecuted, and a miniscule percentage actually convicted. In the US out of every 1,000 cases of sexual assault reported by women, only 25 men will be convicted. It is thought that less than one third of cases are reported, so out of 3,000 cases of assault, 0.83% of men will be punished.
In the UK it is worse. Figures show that 25% of women (over 16) have been sexually assaulted or raped during their lifetime but that less than one-sixth of assaults are reported, so for every 1,000 reported, 5,000 more men assaulted and raped women without any fear of reprisals. The police only prosecuted 1.6% of rape cases reported by women, this is down from almost 4% on 2016. I didn't see a figure for convictions. If the majority of the police force, the Crown prosecution service and the judiciary were women, I don't think we would be seeing such a flippant attitude towards sexual assault on women.
So back to Medieval times. Rape was treated much the same as now. Accuse a man and get it as far as court, what a joke, you were a slag, you should be fined for wasting the court's time and besmirching the good name of the man. Or, the easy get out, the papers were not correctly filled in and filed - women were not educated by and large so they would have to pay a man to fill them in and if he didn't do it correctly, there you go. Another man set free. Another woman fined. Report a robbery or destruction of property and now as then, you have more chance of succeeding in the court than reporting the sexual taking and assault on your own body without your consent.
There was another issue. A woman who got pregnant through rape, couldn't have been raped. It was thought that both a woman and man must orgasm for a baby to be conceived. So she couldn't possibly have been raped. Just a slag trying to explain away why she willingly slept with a man she wasn't married to.
The author swings between amusement at the various remedies for women's problems, and for engendering lust in either sex, birth control, abortions and bitterness, both disguised by a jocular tone of voice. Hildegard von Bingen, a stunningly clever polymath, abbess, businesswoman and author and very much a hero of mine was much quoted.
If the whole book had been written with the reverse pronouns and printed as dystopian fiction someone might have thought making a film of it would have been a good idea. But that was the reality of women, dystopian much.
The book was exceedingly well-researched and written. The somewhat jocular tone of the author jarred a bit at first, but it became a kind of 'making the best of it' tone of voice. The author kept her solid research interesting and a good read, when in other hands it could easily have been text-book dry. I look forward to reading her future books.
Notes on reading
September 17, 2023
2.5 stars
I have closed this book with mixed impressions. On the one hand, the author in her narrative relies on first-hand accounts and primary sources, including court records.
On the other, the author frequently expresses her own attitude to what was happening in the Middle Ages to women and some men. Did Rosalie Gilbert want to embellish her narrative and make it more entertaining by adding somewhat sarcastic remarks? Nevertheless, I often found them redundant and not relevant to the context, even if we consider the book to be light non-fiction.
Apart from that, the book may be to a degree informative, especially for someone who is not familiar with the epoch and its norms. It covers such themes as marriage and widowhood, pregnancy and ways of preventing it, having sex and avoiding it, becoming a nun, the role of the Church in the lives of women, adultery and its consequences, the fate of intersex persons, medieval sex workers, and foods to be used as medicine and aphrodisiacs.
The book abounds with different medieval superstitions. For example, women were advised never to be completely naked, and this recommendation, they believed, had medical justifications.
At the same time, sex was considered indispensable for women’s health.
Gilbert criticizes Victorian writers who cultivated certain myths about medieval times, including the tale of an infamous chastity belt. She states that there is not a single evidence of such a thing existing in the Middle Ages. According to the author, if women back then had worn chastity belts, they would have been mentioned in inventories and medical journals.
The book lifts the curtain hiding the everyday lives of medieval women. It is no wonder that they have few choices. A woman’s status in medieval society was mainly measured by her sexual status. It mattered more than her age or level of education.
However, the reality had often been more complex, and women could sometimes widen this limited range of options.
For example, if a woman was not satisfied with her marriage, she could take a vow and dedicate her life to God without retiring to a convent. Husband usually had to accept this choice of his wife.
The same worked for widows reluctant to enter into matrimony again.
A woman could run a business together with her husband, and continue doing this alone in the case of his death, though there were certain limitations to it.
Gilbert brings to light episodes from the lives of real women of the past. Thus I learned about Margaret Maultasch of Tyrol who in 1340 divorced her husband because of his failure to perform in the marital bed. Do not know how this kind of information may relate to my life though. This comment seems out of place. Perhaps I have picked up the habit of making not always relevant comments from the author.
Gilbert also loves concocting funny dialogues based on the events she deals with.
Here is an excerpt from one of such dialogues.
Setting: husband and wife are in the bedroom.
And a cherry on top, take a look at one of the medieval recipes.
In order for a man to extinguish the pleasure and lust of the flesh which is in him, he should, in Summer, take dill and twice as much water mint, and a little more tithymal, and the root of the Illyrian iris. He should put all these in vinegar, and make a condiment from them, and frequently eat it with all his foods.
As the author warns, please do not try this at home.
I have closed this book with mixed impressions. On the one hand, the author in her narrative relies on first-hand accounts and primary sources, including court records.
On the other, the author frequently expresses her own attitude to what was happening in the Middle Ages to women and some men. Did Rosalie Gilbert want to embellish her narrative and make it more entertaining by adding somewhat sarcastic remarks? Nevertheless, I often found them redundant and not relevant to the context, even if we consider the book to be light non-fiction.
Apart from that, the book may be to a degree informative, especially for someone who is not familiar with the epoch and its norms. It covers such themes as marriage and widowhood, pregnancy and ways of preventing it, having sex and avoiding it, becoming a nun, the role of the Church in the lives of women, adultery and its consequences, the fate of intersex persons, medieval sex workers, and foods to be used as medicine and aphrodisiacs.
The book abounds with different medieval superstitions. For example, women were advised never to be completely naked, and this recommendation, they believed, had medical justifications.
It was believed, medically, that most of the heat in the female body was lost through the head, and during the vigorous ardours of coitus, a woman may lose far too much heat, far too suddenly. Calamity would befall her. Any number of ailments might suddenly occur. It needed to be addressed. Complete nudity had to be avoided at all costs.
At the same time, sex was considered indispensable for women’s health.
Gilbert criticizes Victorian writers who cultivated certain myths about medieval times, including the tale of an infamous chastity belt. She states that there is not a single evidence of such a thing existing in the Middle Ages. According to the author, if women back then had worn chastity belts, they would have been mentioned in inventories and medical journals.
The book lifts the curtain hiding the everyday lives of medieval women. It is no wonder that they have few choices. A woman’s status in medieval society was mainly measured by her sexual status. It mattered more than her age or level of education.
She [the Medieval woman] was either:
a virgin (young, unmarried, not allowed to have sex),
a wife (married, allowed to have sex),
a widow (ex-married, not allowed to have sex),
a strumpette (single, having or suspected of having sex),
…and her rights and obligations in society were hugely dependant on this.
However, the reality had often been more complex, and women could sometimes widen this limited range of options.
For example, if a woman was not satisfied with her marriage, she could take a vow and dedicate her life to God without retiring to a convent. Husband usually had to accept this choice of his wife.
The same worked for widows reluctant to enter into matrimony again.
If a woman was a widow, she also had the option of becoming a vowess, which meant she promised in all seriousness to keep herself physically chaste and make a promise to God before witnesses. She need not be a nun or enter a convent to do this. It was achieved by taking a public vow of chastity and was a relatively simple process. All a woman needed was a bishop, a ring, a mantle, and a deceased husband.
A woman could run a business together with her husband, and continue doing this alone in the case of his death, though there were certain limitations to it.
Gilbert brings to light episodes from the lives of real women of the past. Thus I learned about Margaret Maultasch of Tyrol who in 1340 divorced her husband because of his failure to perform in the marital bed. Do not know how this kind of information may relate to my life though. This comment seems out of place. Perhaps I have picked up the habit of making not always relevant comments from the author.
Gilbert also loves concocting funny dialogues based on the events she deals with.
Here is an excerpt from one of such dialogues.
Setting: husband and wife are in the bedroom.
And a cherry on top, take a look at one of the medieval recipes.
In order for a man to extinguish the pleasure and lust of the flesh which is in him, he should, in Summer, take dill and twice as much water mint, and a little more tithymal, and the root of the Illyrian iris. He should put all these in vinegar, and make a condiment from them, and frequently eat it with all his foods.
As the author warns, please do not try this at home.
September 27, 2023
Enjoyed this title a lot, my only minor complaint is the way Ms Gilbert communicates with a reader or explains more complicated issues. I find examples presented through dialogues in modern English rather confusing .. Such exchanges spoilt the pleasure (at times). Otherwise, worth the read!
November 15, 2020
Gilbert doesn't tell us much about the sex lives of medieval women. Instead, she does two things: first, she constantly reminds us of how disgusting she thinks men are. She doesn't just tell us of the terrible things medieval men did to women (which I 100% agree that they did), but she always has to add snide remarks and personal opinions to everything she says. The instances of Gilbert telling us something like "Of course he did this bad thing. He was a man, after all" got stale fast and vastly lowered her credibility as an unbiased historian.
Second, she thinks she is uproariously funny (hint: she isn't) and doesn't hesitate to show us. She doesn't just drop a joke here or there; she adds entire comedy bits all over the place like she is auditioning for a writing job on Saturday Night Live. I am trying to learn about medieval history and instead have to sit through countless terrible little one act plays that are about as funny as smashing my big toe with a hammer.
As for the actual topic she was writing about, I learned practically nothing. The book is made up of short sketches of specific people's lives. These stories were far too short and almost always devoid of an actual ending. Either "the records don't indicate what happened to the person", or Gilbert just drops the story and moves on. I barely learned about the sex lives of these specific people she was writing about, let alone medieval women in general.
Second, she thinks she is uproariously funny (hint: she isn't) and doesn't hesitate to show us. She doesn't just drop a joke here or there; she adds entire comedy bits all over the place like she is auditioning for a writing job on Saturday Night Live. I am trying to learn about medieval history and instead have to sit through countless terrible little one act plays that are about as funny as smashing my big toe with a hammer.
As for the actual topic she was writing about, I learned practically nothing. The book is made up of short sketches of specific people's lives. These stories were far too short and almost always devoid of an actual ending. Either "the records don't indicate what happened to the person", or Gilbert just drops the story and moves on. I barely learned about the sex lives of these specific people she was writing about, let alone medieval women in general.
July 6, 2022
Genialna książka z mnóstwem szokujących ciekawostek i niewymuszonym poczuciem humoru.
November 28, 2020
Absolutely terrible... I came upon this one by chance, and was interested to see where the author would take the writing.
I couldn't find anything about author Rosalie Gilbert online, other than her Facebook page, and her website, called "Rosalie's Medieval Women" .
Rosalie Gilbert :
Despite having some rich material to work with, the writing here fell flat for me...
I didn't like the author's writing style; Gilbert writes in a tongue-in-cheek manner that I didn't feel worked for this book. She improvises historical dialogue in pink boxes throughout the book, in many failed attempts to be funny - that actually managed to thoroughly irritate the shit out of me.
The entire book reads like a stand-up comedian who delivers their jokes in an off-key manner, to crickets from the audience. Terrible.
Maybe some people will find this writing humorous, but I was not one of them...
She also liberally peppered the writing here with countless misandrist interjections. Her "Men are bad, mmkay?" wore thin rather quickly.
So while this may well be a subjective thing, I found the writing here to be seriously lacking, and actually heavily bordering on grating and annoying... Which does not even address the fact the average reader will learn almost nothing of "the sex lives of medieval women". There are numerous case studies presented here, that are not followed through, and are abandoned by the writer as she moves onto the next case study... Rinse and repeat.
Absolutely sub-par for any historical book.
I'm sorry to be giving such a new and low-reviewed book a bad review, but to do otherwise would not be honest on my part.
I would not recommend this one.
1 star.
I couldn't find anything about author Rosalie Gilbert online, other than her Facebook page, and her website, called "Rosalie's Medieval Women" .
Rosalie Gilbert :
Despite having some rich material to work with, the writing here fell flat for me...
I didn't like the author's writing style; Gilbert writes in a tongue-in-cheek manner that I didn't feel worked for this book. She improvises historical dialogue in pink boxes throughout the book, in many failed attempts to be funny - that actually managed to thoroughly irritate the shit out of me.
The entire book reads like a stand-up comedian who delivers their jokes in an off-key manner, to crickets from the audience. Terrible.
Maybe some people will find this writing humorous, but I was not one of them...
She also liberally peppered the writing here with countless misandrist interjections. Her "Men are bad, mmkay?" wore thin rather quickly.
So while this may well be a subjective thing, I found the writing here to be seriously lacking, and actually heavily bordering on grating and annoying... Which does not even address the fact the average reader will learn almost nothing of "the sex lives of medieval women". There are numerous case studies presented here, that are not followed through, and are abandoned by the writer as she moves onto the next case study... Rinse and repeat.
Absolutely sub-par for any historical book.
I'm sorry to be giving such a new and low-reviewed book a bad review, but to do otherwise would not be honest on my part.
I would not recommend this one.
1 star.
June 2, 2024
Disclaimer
This work of literature contains many herbal recipes, preparations, and advice from medieval manuscripts which you are ill-advised to attempt at home. Seriously. Don’t try them. The harm that ensues may be life-threatening and permanent. Death may come to you on swift wings.
I repeat, Do Not Try These At Home.
Except if you’re trying to lure a unicorn with your virginity.
If you’re doing that, feel free to keep up the good work.
When a book starts like that, you know you are in for something really good 🤭🤭
This work of literature contains many herbal recipes, preparations, and advice from medieval manuscripts which you are ill-advised to attempt at home. Seriously. Don’t try them. The harm that ensues may be life-threatening and permanent. Death may come to you on swift wings.
I repeat, Do Not Try These At Home.
Except if you’re trying to lure a unicorn with your virginity.
If you’re doing that, feel free to keep up the good work.
When a book starts like that, you know you are in for something really good 🤭🤭
October 8, 2025
The concept itself is good: take various primary sources that touch on the sex lives of women and dissect/elaborate on them. And the author does use an amazing variety of primary sources, from court cases to stories to medical treatises.
Unfortunately, that's all that's good about this book. After each small text extract, the author finds herself compelled to exclaim either "Wow ahaha that's so crazy" or "Really? Really? That's what you did?" or "Men are terrible". She often ends with a conversational "Am I right, ladies?" or "Can I have a show of hands?"...
After having given her full opinion of the extract, she often makes a small sketch that puts medieval people in modern personalities and makes fun of their situation. This is agony to read. First, while humour is subjective, these aren't funny in the least bit. But that's not what bothers me most. These sketches do the opposite of what a social history book should strive to achieve: they alienate us from the characters. Instead of trying to understand the medieval woman in context and try to make the reader sympathetic towards the peoples of this era, the sketches seem to be supposed to elicit feelings of "haha that's so crazy medieval people are so zany!".
If you do wish to get your hands on this book, I recommend reading all the primary sources, which are well chosen and well abbreviated, and skipping most of the author's commentary.
Since this review has received a few likes, I might as well update it to recommend another book on the same subject which I enjoyed: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
Unfortunately, that's all that's good about this book. After each small text extract, the author finds herself compelled to exclaim either "Wow ahaha that's so crazy" or "Really? Really? That's what you did?" or "Men are terrible". She often ends with a conversational "Am I right, ladies?" or "Can I have a show of hands?"...
After having given her full opinion of the extract, she often makes a small sketch that puts medieval people in modern personalities and makes fun of their situation. This is agony to read. First, while humour is subjective, these aren't funny in the least bit. But that's not what bothers me most. These sketches do the opposite of what a social history book should strive to achieve: they alienate us from the characters. Instead of trying to understand the medieval woman in context and try to make the reader sympathetic towards the peoples of this era, the sketches seem to be supposed to elicit feelings of "haha that's so crazy medieval people are so zany!".
If you do wish to get your hands on this book, I recommend reading all the primary sources, which are well chosen and well abbreviated, and skipping most of the author's commentary.
Since this review has received a few likes, I might as well update it to recommend another book on the same subject which I enjoyed: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
September 26, 2024
The title and the blurb had me very curious to read and a lot of what I tought was "normal" back them wasn't but at the same time a lot kinda was. It was interesting learning about the history of medieval times but trough facts about there views on sex and sexlives.
October 24, 2020
Ever wanted to know what medieval women got up to in the bedroom? Or got up to in order to avoid any sort of bedroom activities? Interested in what sort of questionable medical or nutritional advice was being dispensed to the lady plagued by various love life related troubles and ailments? All your questions (and then some) shall be answered in this surprisingly informative and highly entertaining read packed with anecdotes, fun facts and gossipy goodness on a subject rarely covered in history books - I learned a lot and laughed a lot.
November 4, 2020
Concise and clear research, interspersed with humor. Ms. Gilbert refutes many misconceptions about Medieval life for women, in an interesting manner, as well as laying out lots of information about what options, concerns, legal standing and protections women had regarding their own autonomy. Definitely an interesting read for most women, whether they have an interest in the time period or not.
August 20, 2021
I wanted to like this this book, but the information shared wasn’t all that ground breaking and the way it was presented came across as a Buzzfeed list. I appreciate the use of original and primary sources but the interludes meant to be funny fell flat.
January 19, 2024
A fun enough read, although I had somehow expected a more scholarly work. The cheeky, modern commentary juxstaposes historical fact with modern judgement, which took me out of the text. For those more deeply interested in gender roles and dynamics throughout history I would suggest reading 'Marriage, a history' by Stephanie Coontz (although that work is not focused on medieval times, treating it in one chapter to show the changes in gender roles), or 'caliban and the witch' by Silvia Federici.
I liked the inclusion of topical manuscript illuminations, in my opinion there can hardly be too much involvement of genuine medieval illustration and it was a very charming touch.
Altogether a fun book for those beginning to read about the past and learn how people before us lived their lives. Maybe a good suggestion for a teenaged niece or daughter who is curious about medieval times.
I liked the inclusion of topical manuscript illuminations, in my opinion there can hardly be too much involvement of genuine medieval illustration and it was a very charming touch.
Altogether a fun book for those beginning to read about the past and learn how people before us lived their lives. Maybe a good suggestion for a teenaged niece or daughter who is curious about medieval times.
September 20, 2025
This book was informative, heartbreaking (boooooo at the church's misogyny and homophobia 😡) and at times hilarious (because why were you willing to shove THAT up your lady bits, beloved?!?).
*Shout out to Medieval lady medic Trotula and her unhinged advice regarding women's sexual health 😭😂
But the main thing that stood out to me about this book is that Rosalie Gilbert comes from a place of compassion, not judgement. We tend to project modern sensibilities onto these women saying "Well, I would never do that if I were alive back then!" Yes, you would. You would do whatever it took to survive in that time period and that's ok. Gilbert ends her book with this quote that sums it up:
"Medieval women did the best they could. And who can ask for more than that?"
*Shout out to Medieval lady medic Trotula and her unhinged advice regarding women's sexual health 😭😂
But the main thing that stood out to me about this book is that Rosalie Gilbert comes from a place of compassion, not judgement. We tend to project modern sensibilities onto these women saying "Well, I would never do that if I were alive back then!" Yes, you would. You would do whatever it took to survive in that time period and that's ok. Gilbert ends her book with this quote that sums it up:
"Medieval women did the best they could. And who can ask for more than that?"
November 21, 2021
Iš esmės, viskas, ką reikia žinoti apie šią knygą – jau yra pavadinime. Gal tik pridėčiau „European Medieval Women“, nes begalė draudimų bei prietarų nulemti būtent krikščionybės požiūrio į anų laikų moteris.
Autorė apžvelgia bene visus įmanomus intymaus moters gyvenimo aspektus. Pasiremdama teismų protokolų išrašais, ar to meto teologų, mokslininkų bei pseudomokslininkų darbais iliustruoja vyravusį požiūrį. Kartais užsižaidžia besikartodama, kartais piktnaudžiauja įvairiausiais receptais (kaip įžiebti aistrą, kaip ją nugesinti, kaip pastoti, kaip išvengti nėštumo, ir t.t., ir t.t.), iš jų pasišaipydama. Pirmus penkis kartus tai atrodo savotiškai žavu, paskui pradeda varginti. Kaip ir autorės humoras. Iš pradžių jos šmaikštumai smagūs, bet kuo toliau, tuo labiau darosi labai vienodi ir jau nebeiššaukia šypsenos.
Kažkokių netikėtų atradimų neaptikau, skaitymo eigoje darėsi vis nuobodžiau ir nuobodžiau. Tai tokie skystoki trys iš penkių – labiausiai už apdorotos ir pateiktos informacijos kiekį.
Autorė apžvelgia bene visus įmanomus intymaus moters gyvenimo aspektus. Pasiremdama teismų protokolų išrašais, ar to meto teologų, mokslininkų bei pseudomokslininkų darbais iliustruoja vyravusį požiūrį. Kartais užsižaidžia besikartodama, kartais piktnaudžiauja įvairiausiais receptais (kaip įžiebti aistrą, kaip ją nugesinti, kaip pastoti, kaip išvengti nėštumo, ir t.t., ir t.t.), iš jų pasišaipydama. Pirmus penkis kartus tai atrodo savotiškai žavu, paskui pradeda varginti. Kaip ir autorės humoras. Iš pradžių jos šmaikštumai smagūs, bet kuo toliau, tuo labiau darosi labai vienodi ir jau nebeiššaukia šypsenos.
Kažkokių netikėtų atradimų neaptikau, skaitymo eigoje darėsi vis nuobodžiau ir nuobodžiau. Tai tokie skystoki trys iš penkių – labiausiai už apdorotos ir pateiktos informacijos kiekį.
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May 3, 2025Okay I’m dnfing this, this book sucks and the audiobook narrator sounds like TikTok ai voiceover.
I don’t need to read more of the author‘s weird judgements or weird dialogues. There’s good pop-history and mid pop-history and then there’s this mess 🫷🏻
I don’t need to read more of the author‘s weird judgements or weird dialogues. There’s good pop-history and mid pop-history and then there’s this mess 🫷🏻
February 19, 2021
A fun read!
This book isn't meant to be a deep dive, rather Gilbert skims the surface of many different topics in an overview of daily life and challenges faced by women in the Middle Ages. This book needs to be taken for what it is and not what people infer it to be; looking at the references and the back cover you can tell that this isn't a heavy-hitting history piece. Gilbert's writing is light-hearted and boasts a fair amount of humorous contrast from a modern perspective. Gilbert's humor style can be gauged by a quick look at the promotional "bad girl" BINGO sheet she made to help readers discern if they would be "good" or "bad" Medieval women. Overall, her writing is sharp and her content is light. She is a new voice in historical writing but she's a welcome addition with a storyteller's talent.
The majority of bad reviews appear to come from men who feel battered by history told from a female perspective. I'm not sure how to help someone understand that women in the Middle Ages had very few rights and were subject to rape, abuse, laws of the Church, and lack of autonomy. What did they think would be included in the book regarding women's bodies in this era? Furthermore, the author does talk about the injustices that women inflicted on each other. Just because something is written from a female perspective doesn't mean that it's a treatise of misandry.
One critique regarding the book finishing: I wish that her publisher printed the book in black ink instead of grey. I have no vision issues but I found the book to be unnecessarily difficult to read in low light because of this print choice.
This book isn't meant to be a deep dive, rather Gilbert skims the surface of many different topics in an overview of daily life and challenges faced by women in the Middle Ages. This book needs to be taken for what it is and not what people infer it to be; looking at the references and the back cover you can tell that this isn't a heavy-hitting history piece. Gilbert's writing is light-hearted and boasts a fair amount of humorous contrast from a modern perspective. Gilbert's humor style can be gauged by a quick look at the promotional "bad girl" BINGO sheet she made to help readers discern if they would be "good" or "bad" Medieval women. Overall, her writing is sharp and her content is light. She is a new voice in historical writing but she's a welcome addition with a storyteller's talent.
The majority of bad reviews appear to come from men who feel battered by history told from a female perspective. I'm not sure how to help someone understand that women in the Middle Ages had very few rights and were subject to rape, abuse, laws of the Church, and lack of autonomy. What did they think would be included in the book regarding women's bodies in this era? Furthermore, the author does talk about the injustices that women inflicted on each other. Just because something is written from a female perspective doesn't mean that it's a treatise of misandry.
One critique regarding the book finishing: I wish that her publisher printed the book in black ink instead of grey. I have no vision issues but I found the book to be unnecessarily difficult to read in low light because of this print choice.
December 18, 2020
This text is an enjoyable, informative, and substantive read filled with a lot of dates, facts, and names from historical documents. I have to think the reviewers who said they didn't learn anything didn't actually read the book fully or thoroughly. It tells you a great deal about women's sex lives in the Medieval period.
There is humor sprinkled throughout the chapters, some of which elicited chuckles from me, and none of which seemed egregiously harsh toward or critical of men. The humor isn't necessary, and without it, the book would still be great, but it generally didn't detract from my experience. I might encourage offended reviewers to lighten up.
The author has said in reply to some reviews that the publisher excluded her appendix of citations and she had no choice in the matter, so I don't fault her for that. She names and details her references when they come up. Devoted readers could find many online if they so decide.
I would recommend this work to anyone interested in women's history, especially in the Medieval period. It's a fine secondary source that can lead you to a number of primary sources. You'll probably get a few laughs at the author's occasional jokes. Even if you don't, there's still enough interesting information to keep you invested.
There is humor sprinkled throughout the chapters, some of which elicited chuckles from me, and none of which seemed egregiously harsh toward or critical of men. The humor isn't necessary, and without it, the book would still be great, but it generally didn't detract from my experience. I might encourage offended reviewers to lighten up.
The author has said in reply to some reviews that the publisher excluded her appendix of citations and she had no choice in the matter, so I don't fault her for that. She names and details her references when they come up. Devoted readers could find many online if they so decide.
I would recommend this work to anyone interested in women's history, especially in the Medieval period. It's a fine secondary source that can lead you to a number of primary sources. You'll probably get a few laughs at the author's occasional jokes. Even if you don't, there's still enough interesting information to keep you invested.
June 1, 2023
sophomoric humor and research effort
I really wanted to like this book, it was only $.99 so I thought it was worth the risk. It feels like someone took Wikipedia entries and a college essay and then inserted their own personal attempt at humor. In some cases I thought the humor was more like that from a teenage boy than a grown woman.
Some of the sections were redundant, particularly the discussion of post marriage chastity. It was neither academic nor salacious to be honest.
I was pretty surprised that the author got into such detail about recipes for concoctions for various things and she questioned the use of flaxseed and chickpeas for helping a midwife turn around a breech birth (obviously the author hasn’t even opened a can of chickpeas).
Overall it was not really worth the two hours that I spent on it. I don’t recommend you do either.
I really wanted to like this book, it was only $.99 so I thought it was worth the risk. It feels like someone took Wikipedia entries and a college essay and then inserted their own personal attempt at humor. In some cases I thought the humor was more like that from a teenage boy than a grown woman.
Some of the sections were redundant, particularly the discussion of post marriage chastity. It was neither academic nor salacious to be honest.
I was pretty surprised that the author got into such detail about recipes for concoctions for various things and she questioned the use of flaxseed and chickpeas for helping a midwife turn around a breech birth (obviously the author hasn’t even opened a can of chickpeas).
Overall it was not really worth the two hours that I spent on it. I don’t recommend you do either.
May 22, 2025
Excellent, listened on audible. Well written and read, could have done with a few fewer little skits showing the ridiculousness of various situations, but some were fairly funny. Overall a great book, which taught me a lot I didn't know, which is what I want from a non-fiction!
March 17, 2022
This book was fun!!!!! And a quick read!! I learned that our medieval ladies were WILDIN
May 26, 2025
Hilarious and horrifying all at once! If it weren’t for the references to actual historical documentation, there’s some stuff that I simply wouldn’t believe! All I can say is that I’m fortunate to be a woman in today’s world, the glass ceiling certainly has nothing on what medieval woman experienced. That said, the author playfully discusses these things with a wicked sense of humour. Great read.
November 20, 2024
can’t believe medieval women had strap ons
June 14, 2023
мабыць, паставіла бы нешта ніжэй, але выданне, у якім я набыла кнігу, дужа файнае, вёрстка проста *pinched fingers emoji*. але і змест таксама зусім нядрэнны, аўтарка прабягаецца па ўсяму, што датычыцца жанчын і сэкса ў сярэднявеччы, нават не забываецца пра лесбіек і інтэрсэкс-людзей. неглыбока, але гэта ж научпоп, і шмат чаго я насамрэч не ведала і ўвогуле шмат не думала аб гэтым. падабайка!
June 11, 2025
hilarious and horrifying. nothing to romanticize about living in this time. yikes. everyone say thank you to the scientists and the feminists. men behaved so horribly throughout history, makes you wonder what they'd do now if the medieval attitude was still permitted.
October 27, 2025
thank god i was not alive in medieval times. i love being a 21st century woman.
December 27, 2023
A lovely book that challenges your beliefs.
This is a lovely short book that challenged many of my beliefs about the medieval era. I recommend it for anyone interested to know how hard women had it in those times, as compared to (for example) the Western world today.
This is a lovely short book that challenged many of my beliefs about the medieval era. I recommend it for anyone interested to know how hard women had it in those times, as compared to (for example) the Western world today.
November 1, 2022
Very fascinating.
July 16, 2025
I forgot I finished this! a funny and interesting little audiobook to half pay attention to 😁 the tone of the writing leads me to believe that this is not entirely historically accurate but that's all good and fine
March 15, 2022
This book has some things going for it, one of which is the title. It is pretty good, and without doubt what hooked me (along with the image on the front). But then there is the question of judging a book by its cover. I most certainly did, and it did not pay off.
Another thing this book has going for it, is quite a few interesting facts. That is essentially what it promises, so obviously this is a bit of a requirement. The main problem with this book, is the never-ending attempt to be funny. I can see why one would want to incorporate some humour in this project, but maaaan there is something called “too much”. The interesting facts to failed attempts to be funny ratio is way off. I do appreciate the odd rhetorical question in nonfiction, but the number allowed is very small. The number of rhetorical questions in this book is very high. Not to mention the extremely many and cringeworthy made up conversations between medieval people.
Interesting facts, abysmal comedy.
Another thing this book has going for it, is quite a few interesting facts. That is essentially what it promises, so obviously this is a bit of a requirement. The main problem with this book, is the never-ending attempt to be funny. I can see why one would want to incorporate some humour in this project, but maaaan there is something called “too much”. The interesting facts to failed attempts to be funny ratio is way off. I do appreciate the odd rhetorical question in nonfiction, but the number allowed is very small. The number of rhetorical questions in this book is very high. Not to mention the extremely many and cringeworthy made up conversations between medieval people.
Interesting facts, abysmal comedy.
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