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How to Remember
She lost her memories of the perfect life - or did she?
Neuroscientist Miranda Underwood works at MindTech, a research lab and outpatient facility that combines cutting-edge brain science with cognitive therapy. She loves helping people - but something's missing. And when she wakes up in a hospital with no memory, plus a newborn baby, that carefully cultivated world disappears altogether.
As Miranda struggles to piece together the events that led to her memory loss, she must also contend with her new life as a mother, as well as her mysterious husband. Miranda has secrets of her own - did she choose to wipe out her pain, or did someone do it for her?
For readers of Liane Moriarty and Kira Peikoff, this four-part serial story (all parts included!) is exclusively for Cari Dubiel's fans and followers and is not sold in stores.
Neuroscientist Miranda Underwood works at MindTech, a research lab and outpatient facility that combines cutting-edge brain science with cognitive therapy. She loves helping people - but something's missing. And when she wakes up in a hospital with no memory, plus a newborn baby, that carefully cultivated world disappears altogether.
As Miranda struggles to piece together the events that led to her memory loss, she must also contend with her new life as a mother, as well as her mysterious husband. Miranda has secrets of her own - did she choose to wipe out her pain, or did someone do it for her?
For readers of Liane Moriarty and Kira Peikoff, this four-part serial story (all parts included!) is exclusively for Cari Dubiel's fans and followers and is not sold in stores.
298 pages, ebook
First published December 11, 2020
3 people are currently reading
32 people want to read
About the author
Cari Dubiel
21 books189 followersHello, Goodreads! I'm a librarian, avid reader, and writer in Ohio.
I am represented by Lynnette Novak of the Seymour Agency. Although I do not have a debut novel yet, you can find my short works on Amazon and in various other places on the web. You can also subscribe to my newsletter for an exclusive four-part serial story: https://dl.bookfunnel.com/rrbwyzd8mj
A note about my reviews: I review advanced reader copies for publishers and LibraryReads, and some of my reviews are published in Booklist. I leave five-star reviews for most of the books I read, because I don't finish books that I don't care for, and it means a lot to me to leave positive reviews. As an author myself, I know how hard it is to work on a book and then get bad reviews. I do give critical feedback to publishers when I feel it is appropriate, and if I'm assigned a title I can't review, I turn it down.
**NEW: I am also assigning "Alex ratings" to each book. My coworker reads a lot of my reviews, so I like to give her a heads up on whether or not I think she will like it**
I am represented by Lynnette Novak of the Seymour Agency. Although I do not have a debut novel yet, you can find my short works on Amazon and in various other places on the web. You can also subscribe to my newsletter for an exclusive four-part serial story: https://dl.bookfunnel.com/rrbwyzd8mj
A note about my reviews: I review advanced reader copies for publishers and LibraryReads, and some of my reviews are published in Booklist. I leave five-star reviews for most of the books I read, because I don't finish books that I don't care for, and it means a lot to me to leave positive reviews. As an author myself, I know how hard it is to work on a book and then get bad reviews. I do give critical feedback to publishers when I feel it is appropriate, and if I'm assigned a title I can't review, I turn it down.
**NEW: I am also assigning "Alex ratings" to each book. My coworker reads a lot of my reviews, so I like to give her a heads up on whether or not I think she will like it**
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
March 15, 2021
I honestly loved everything about this indie book by Cari Dubiel, and am waiting with bated breath for her next offering. How to Remember follows protagonist Miranda as she wakes in the hospital to find that every memory of the last two years is gone, and she is now a wife and a mother to a man she doesn't remember marrying and a daughter she doesn't remember having. It was a powerful and raw exploration of postpartum depression, with the intrigue of traditional mysteries, and twists reminiscent of hits such as Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I can't wait to see what she comes up with next.
June 19, 2021
Good read, a real page turner! I found myself continually picking up the book to see how the story was developing. Not a mystery / thriller (which the book is not), but a page turner in the sense I just wanted to find out what happens to the characters next.
Not only is the story told from two POVs, Miranda and Ben, but the POVs are from different points in time. I think this works better than a straight chronological telling.
Unrelated to the prose, when I picked up the book, I didn’t understand the cover. It’s artistically well done, but I didn’t see the tie in. After reading the book, I think the cover is brilliant as it relates to the novel.
Not only is the story told from two POVs, Miranda and Ben, but the POVs are from different points in time. I think this works better than a straight chronological telling.
Unrelated to the prose, when I picked up the book, I didn’t understand the cover. It’s artistically well done, but I didn’t see the tie in. After reading the book, I think the cover is brilliant as it relates to the novel.
March 23, 2021
How to Remember shares with Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind the idea of erasing painful memories, along with a central mystery to unravel. However, the storyline delves deeper in the development and application of medicines and technologies to address illnesses like dementia and PTSD, and how they might then be abused to toy with memories and identity. As high concept as all that sounds, it's firmly grounded in reality and accessible. Beneath that, it's really a story of childhood trauma and the way in which our personal identities can be built up and torn down as we invite people into our messy lives or run from relationships we perceive as a threat to our identities. Whereas Eternal Sunshine focused on romantic relationships, How to Remember expands to include friendship, working relationships, and early parenthood. It's an easy read despite the heavy subject matter, but still challenges you to think and feel.
March 13, 2023
Very emotional. A story of depression and how it affects those around us. A what-if story if the memories that made us so depressed in the first place, were just gone one day. A journey to get one's life back to normal.
February 27, 2021
I can't get over this book. I keep thinking about it. I found the characters vivid and realistic, especially Miranda. I thought the structure was just brilliant—it's hard to pull off a story that moves both backward and forward in time, aiming for a convergence point, but Dubiel does it flawlessly. The details of parenting a tiny infant were excruciating in their accuracy. They really took me back to my early days of motherhood. It's sort of a mystery novel, but every time the detective is about to put together the pieces, a baby starts screaming and she loses the thread. I remember feeling like that all the time when my children were small.
All of the things about Miranda and Ben's parents are also deeply true, and in particular, there's something to the way we re-evaluate our own relationships with our parents when we have children. It's inevitable, and yet I don't know that I've ever read a book that so closely examines it.
I think it's also a really interesting look at addiction—Miranda is addicted to the release of the DREAM, and it's absolutely as detrimental to her as drugs or alcohol would be. The way that she finally faces that problem is so true to life. Although this book is a tiny bit sci fi, everything besides the one core technology is drawn perceptively from normal, 21st-century midwestern life, even people who aren't into sci fi (like me!) will find it compelling.
All of the things about Miranda and Ben's parents are also deeply true, and in particular, there's something to the way we re-evaluate our own relationships with our parents when we have children. It's inevitable, and yet I don't know that I've ever read a book that so closely examines it.
I think it's also a really interesting look at addiction—Miranda is addicted to the release of the DREAM, and it's absolutely as detrimental to her as drugs or alcohol would be. The way that she finally faces that problem is so true to life. Although this book is a tiny bit sci fi, everything besides the one core technology is drawn perceptively from normal, 21st-century midwestern life, even people who aren't into sci fi (like me!) will find it compelling.
October 28, 2021
A fun, quick little thriller.
February 26, 2021
"How to Remember" is the best mystery and character-study novel I have read since "The Guest List", and I think fans of the latter will love the former. Author Cari Dubiel has deftly combined visceral descriptions of mental illness, postpartum depression, and the frustrations of parenthood, particularly the experience of nursing mothers, with a gripping suspense tale propelled by memory loss caused by a fascinating near-futuristic technology. This novel is truly unique, and days after finishing it, I am still thinking about all its intricacies.
As soon as Miranda wakes up in the hospital with no memory of the past two years, I got an immediate sense like I had walked through a door and forgotten why I entered the room. Dubiel describes Miranda's thought processes so vividly that, despite her husband Ben's seeming doubts, I had no reason to believe that Miranda truly did not remember a thing.
However, that was as far as my certainties went. Dubiel has created a masterful narrative that kept me guessing. As soon as I thought I had everything figured out, something new would happen that took me by complete surprise, yet was more perfect a step than I could have imagined on my own. This happened again and again, and I loved every minute of it. The ending was a perfect payoff to both the mystery plot line and the personal lives of Miranda and Ben.
In regard to the personal lives of the characters--Wow. Dubiel nailed it: a marriage struggling with the utter bomb of bringing a newborn into the house. As a mother, I connected so deeply with Miranda. I remember those nights (even if Miranda doesn't!) of getting up every two hours to nurse the baby, the difficulties of working together with another person to schedule around all of my daughter's needs. The endless squalling. I remember the feelings of needing space not only from my newborn and the house that I felt stuck inside, but also from my own body (beleagured by nursing and postpartum woes). I identified so much with Miranda in those very real, descriptive, deep moments that Dubiel captures perfectly on the page. BUT, I also identify deeply with Miranda's love for her daughter, which, despite Miranda's lack of memory, flourishes with gradual, yet natural ease beyond her confusion from her ordeal.
Yet Miranda is not the kind of person to be weighed down by her doubts and fears. Her take-charge personality propels the story forward with a stunning clarity lurking beneath her layer of amnestic fog, trying to solve the mystery behind her memory loss and the secrets held by those around her. Her sense of “what am I missing?” is a raw force that drove me to want to follow her down her path to solve the mystery, no matter the consequences (even if it meant I had to stay up all night reading in bed!).
Dubiel's choices to go back and forth through time, telling stories from both before Miranda's memory loss and after, and from both Miranda and Ben's points of view, was done in a flawless manner that never interrupted the flow of the story--which is hard to do. I never felt like there was wasted space on a single page. Every single word served a purpose, even in quiet moments of the story. As I said, for me, this book felt like a character study just as much as a near-future sci-fi mystery. "MindTech" is an interesting concept and serves the story well, but the story itself, what really makes it great, is the depth of character exploration and the questions and answers to the conundrum: How do we remember ways to get back in touch with our true selves, and more importantly--what do we do with that knowledge to move forward?
I would *love* to read more books by Cari Dubiel in the future. Her writing style is beautiful, and her pacing and plotting are superb. I was truly floored by "How to Remember," and I look forward to being caught up in another story of hers!
As soon as Miranda wakes up in the hospital with no memory of the past two years, I got an immediate sense like I had walked through a door and forgotten why I entered the room. Dubiel describes Miranda's thought processes so vividly that, despite her husband Ben's seeming doubts, I had no reason to believe that Miranda truly did not remember a thing.
However, that was as far as my certainties went. Dubiel has created a masterful narrative that kept me guessing. As soon as I thought I had everything figured out, something new would happen that took me by complete surprise, yet was more perfect a step than I could have imagined on my own. This happened again and again, and I loved every minute of it. The ending was a perfect payoff to both the mystery plot line and the personal lives of Miranda and Ben.
In regard to the personal lives of the characters--Wow. Dubiel nailed it: a marriage struggling with the utter bomb of bringing a newborn into the house. As a mother, I connected so deeply with Miranda. I remember those nights (even if Miranda doesn't!) of getting up every two hours to nurse the baby, the difficulties of working together with another person to schedule around all of my daughter's needs. The endless squalling. I remember the feelings of needing space not only from my newborn and the house that I felt stuck inside, but also from my own body (beleagured by nursing and postpartum woes). I identified so much with Miranda in those very real, descriptive, deep moments that Dubiel captures perfectly on the page. BUT, I also identify deeply with Miranda's love for her daughter, which, despite Miranda's lack of memory, flourishes with gradual, yet natural ease beyond her confusion from her ordeal.
Yet Miranda is not the kind of person to be weighed down by her doubts and fears. Her take-charge personality propels the story forward with a stunning clarity lurking beneath her layer of amnestic fog, trying to solve the mystery behind her memory loss and the secrets held by those around her. Her sense of “what am I missing?” is a raw force that drove me to want to follow her down her path to solve the mystery, no matter the consequences (even if it meant I had to stay up all night reading in bed!).
Dubiel's choices to go back and forth through time, telling stories from both before Miranda's memory loss and after, and from both Miranda and Ben's points of view, was done in a flawless manner that never interrupted the flow of the story--which is hard to do. I never felt like there was wasted space on a single page. Every single word served a purpose, even in quiet moments of the story. As I said, for me, this book felt like a character study just as much as a near-future sci-fi mystery. "MindTech" is an interesting concept and serves the story well, but the story itself, what really makes it great, is the depth of character exploration and the questions and answers to the conundrum: How do we remember ways to get back in touch with our true selves, and more importantly--what do we do with that knowledge to move forward?
I would *love* to read more books by Cari Dubiel in the future. Her writing style is beautiful, and her pacing and plotting are superb. I was truly floored by "How to Remember," and I look forward to being caught up in another story of hers!
March 17, 2023
I received this book through the kindness of the author. As sweet as she is, this in no way has any impact on my feelings towards this book.
When it comes to mysteries with possible unreliable narrators and twists throughout, I tend to not be a fan. So I went into this loving the idea and excited to read it, yet knowing past feelings with things like Gone Girl, The Girl on the Train, The Couple Next Door, In a Dark, Dark Wood... You get the picture.
I'm so glad I was plesently surprised with this!
One thing I loved is I didn't fully realize the truth right away. Normally I do, and then the writing doesn't hold up for me personally for me to enjoy it. With this, I figured it out about a third of the way through...
Which leads me to the other thing I loved: the writing! The story held up the entire time. There were points you felt for the characters, and times where you wanted to just smack them because they were so annoying. No matter how I felt, I wanted to keep reading. I wanted to know what they'd do this time.
I was pleasantly surprised with how the back and forth with each chapter and character went. The story alternates between present day Miranda and past Ben during the time Miranda doesn't remember. This could very easily get convoluted and just hard to read, but it didn't. I don't know if this story would have been as successful if it wasn't written like this - if, for example, it was just told from present day Miranda's view and we didn't have the view of Ben and what happened to lead up to Miranda's memory loss. I think it would have lacked for sure.
After this, I can't wait to read more from Cari Dubiel as I'm sure I will enjoy them as much as How to Remember.
When it comes to mysteries with possible unreliable narrators and twists throughout, I tend to not be a fan. So I went into this loving the idea and excited to read it, yet knowing past feelings with things like Gone Girl, The Girl on the Train, The Couple Next Door, In a Dark, Dark Wood... You get the picture.
I'm so glad I was plesently surprised with this!
One thing I loved is I didn't fully realize the truth right away. Normally I do, and then the writing doesn't hold up for me personally for me to enjoy it. With this, I figured it out about a third of the way through...
Which leads me to the other thing I loved: the writing! The story held up the entire time. There were points you felt for the characters, and times where you wanted to just smack them because they were so annoying. No matter how I felt, I wanted to keep reading. I wanted to know what they'd do this time.
I was pleasantly surprised with how the back and forth with each chapter and character went. The story alternates between present day Miranda and past Ben during the time Miranda doesn't remember. This could very easily get convoluted and just hard to read, but it didn't. I don't know if this story would have been as successful if it wasn't written like this - if, for example, it was just told from present day Miranda's view and we didn't have the view of Ben and what happened to lead up to Miranda's memory loss. I think it would have lacked for sure.
After this, I can't wait to read more from Cari Dubiel as I'm sure I will enjoy them as much as How to Remember.
August 22, 2022
The writing was okay.
There are some minor thing with the timeline note, the one day before and one day after chapters supposedly to tell one day before and after she erase her memories.
But since every days after her incident called present day, it confusing on placing the one day after chapter timeline.
I think the day she erase her memories, should be THE day (so one day before the day and one day after the day), not present day, to differentiate it with her days after memory lost.
On the charactes,
The MCs, both Miranda and Ben, were unlikeable and toxic. She cold, controlling and like using the easy way out for her problems.
Ben's beginning situation makes him less toxic to a lesser degree, but i don't like his passive aggresive attitude. I mean, just divorce already!
Also i think it was really out of character of her to passionately pursue him relentlessly at the beginning. She seems just want to secure a husband then back to her cold self immediately after that.
At the end, i feel their relationship won't last. Both need therapy tbh.
There are some minor thing with the timeline note, the one day before and one day after chapters supposedly to tell one day before and after she erase her memories.
But since every days after her incident called present day, it confusing on placing the one day after chapter timeline.
I think the day she erase her memories, should be THE day (so one day before the day and one day after the day), not present day, to differentiate it with her days after memory lost.
On the charactes,
The MCs, both Miranda and Ben, were unlikeable and toxic. She cold, controlling and like using the easy way out for her problems.
Ben's beginning situation makes him less toxic to a lesser degree, but i don't like his passive aggresive attitude. I mean, just divorce already!
Also i think it was really out of character of her to passionately pursue him relentlessly at the beginning. She seems just want to secure a husband then back to her cold self immediately after that.
At the end, i feel their relationship won't last. Both need therapy tbh.
February 17, 2021
I really liked the character development, especially of Miranda and Ben. They seemed like real people. Also, I thought the supporting characters were well fleshed out too. The end was disappointing but I'm a happily ever after girl. It is obvious that the writer did lots of research for her novel. The concept of MindTech was amazing and I wonder if that will take place in the near future, or if it already does in secret. I look forward to reading more from her and recommending her books to my friends.
April 25, 2023
There is an ease in the way Cari writes her characters. They each have an uncomplicatedly complicated (Yes, that's a real thing...) depth that draws you into the mystery and drama of it all. I love the timelines intertwining themselves with the mystery that unfolds. I could feel the different types of pain and trauma each character had as if it was my own, and I wanted to cheer them on the whole journey!
May 28, 2021
I love how this mystery is one big metaphor for the feeling of losing one's old self postpartum. The character development is super well done! Excited to read more from Cari Dubiel!
August 8, 2022
I enjoyed this book from the first page.
January 9, 2023
Wasn't sure if I would like it but it definitely pulled me in!
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews