The 10 Commandments of Dating

by Ben Young, Samuel Adams

Are you tired of pouring time, energy and money into relationships that start off great and end with heartache? If so, you need The Ten Commandments of Dating to give you the hard-hitting, black-and-white, practical guidelines that will address your questions and frustrations about dating. This guide will help you keep your head in the search for the desire of your heart.

Genres: Relationships, Nonfiction, Christian, Christian Non Fiction, Christian Living, Research, Love

192 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1999

About the author

Dr. Ben Young is the senior pastor at Second Baptist Church, a diverse, multi-ethnic church with over 20,000 people attending weekly services online and on six campuses throughout the city of Houston. The author of several books, including Room for Doubt, Devotions for Dating Couples and Survive the Day, Dr. Young is also an adjunct professor at Houston Theological Seminary where he teaches homiletics, apologetics and practical theology.
Born and raised in the Carolinas before moving to Texas in 1978, Young was educated at Baylor University, Southwestern Theological Seminary and Bethel Theological Seminary in San Diego. Having hosted a nationally syndicated radio talk show for years and serving as chaplain for the Houston Astros, Dr. Young also enjoys surfing and practicing Brazilian jiu-jitsu.

Reviews

[Jhonattan Camaño · Rating 5 out of 5]

Recomiendo este libro. Ofrece una guía clara de lo que debemos tomar en cuenta antes de pensar en una relación, incluso si ya uno está en una. Escoger a la persona con quien casarse es de las decisiones más importantes en la vida, mucho más si entendemos lo que significa el matrimonio ante los ojos de Dios.

[Nan Tolson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kind of felt like a punch in the face (mostly complimentary)

[Sabrina Robinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome book! I think commandment number one is "Get a life!" Puts dating in perspective - encourages the reader to make sure dating is never the primary purpose or focus point of their lives, and explains that dating is much more likely to be satisfying if both people have something to offer.

A couple of other commandments:

Set clear boundaries
Fight fairly
Don't ignore warning signs
Choose wisely

I wish I'd read this sooner than i did, I'm glad I read it when I did! I gave this one to my younger brother, hopefully he's taken it to heart!

[Melody · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was a pretty good an practical book on dating. I wasn't really taught how to choose a partner wisely, or what to look for in the right person. The authors took their many years of counseling and singles ministry experience, and put together this book. It has a cheesy title, but I enjoyed it anyway. Besides, one of the authors' names is Dr. Samuel Adams...who wouldn't want to read a book written by one of those who shares a name with one of the greatest beers out there? ;-)

[Martin Wickens · Rating 4 out of 5]

Outside of marriage, one of the most important and impactful areas of a person's life is who they marry. Who they marry is ultimately decided by who they date. So, good principles about dating are vital.

I would highly recommend this book to parents, pastors, youth leaders, young adults (I'm thinking 20's), and possibly older teens.

I would not recommend it for younger teens, or even older teens who have not been exposed to graphic details about sex. If a teen is homeschooled, in a Christian school, or mostly in conservative circles then this book isn't appropriate. It speaks very graphically in a few places of sex.

For the majority of the teenage population, they learn all these things at a young age, too young, because of their exposure to TV, social media/internet, and their peers. In these cases, a parent may decide this book is suitable.

With that said, I think the book is excellent in some ways but lacking in others.

The ten commandments it gives are genuinely excellent principles for young people to follow. However, the tenth felt like an add-on to bump it up to the ten.

I think it is weak in two areas: The constant references to pop culture and weak Biblical explanations.

I realize why the authors have presented the book in this way. Most readers will be all too familiar with the movie, music, and pop culture examples. The young people in my more conservative circle would not be.

I think the Scriptures they reference are often tagged onto the end of the chapters rather than deeply ingrained in the text itself. Again, I think this is their way of making the book readable to teens. Whereas I am reading as a pastor looking for more substance.

However, with all those pros and cons given, I would recommend this to pastors, parents, and teachers to use as a resource to build upon even if its not something I would recommend for teens themselves.

[Tyler Adams · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very honest and thought provoking dating book. I loved these commandments. These are great tips and tricks on how to have an enjoyable and God-focused relationship with another person. What's nice is at the end of each chapter they include consequences and benefits for breaking and keeping the commandment. They even have words of guidance for those who are struggling. This might very well be the most truthful book about dating out there.

There are two small problems I had with it. 1) The authors seem to think that what they say is final. Now, most of what they say is biblical and protective of your walk with Christ, but they don't seem very open to adapting to everyone's different walks in life. At least, that's not what I got out of it. And 2) the Bible passages that they use are at the end of each chapter, and some of them don't really back up the commandments. I would have liked more Scriptures sprinkled throughout and that supports their claims more.

Overall, this is a great book for everyone who is and is not dating. It has harsh but truthful claims, and it helps sets your sights towards God and living in righteousness while showing how to protect yourself and the one you date from sin.

[Steve W. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very wise advice. Gives clarity & action steps

I liked how well this zeroes in on vital dating issues. The writing is clear and engaging. The authors' words have the weight of authority on the topic. You will find yourself motivated to think through the crucial issues as you go along. This book offers much-needed clarity, and a path to clear action for success. I was pleasantly surprised to find very good discussion questions for each chapter at the end of the book. This has earned a place among my top books on relationships.

[Dayciaa Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Insightful and Inspiring

The Ten Commandments of Dating of advantageous and beneficial advice from a Christian perspective. I really like that the authors are authentic and sincere, and their own personal stories they incorporate, as well as the experiences of others they know, enrich the content considerably. I rate it five stars because it is so well-written and relevant to honoring God in our dating lives today.

[Andres LeonRangel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing a must read for single and dating couples

You must read this book. It shows practical ways to improve relationships.
It has spiritual backgrounds and the commandments make sense

[Cing S Nuam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Should be a manual for young people who never dated

-I love this book because it is easy to read and offers outlines so it is easy to follow and comprehend.
-would recommend this book to pre teen/teen who starts thinking about dating

[Marlena May · Rating 3 out of 5]

While not profound, this book brings to surface obvious questions that every couple should discuss as they go through a relationship.

G

[Bradley A · Rating 4 out of 5]

A Biblical approach to dating. Helpful tips and guidelines.

[Marika Nurmagitta · Rating 5 out of 5]

Its practical and biblical. Still relevant to whats going on nowadays.

[Joshua Naabu · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Great Book on Relationships

This is a great book that teaches on how to make wise decisions to have a long lasting relationships. If you are single or dating, I recommend you read this book.

[Josh tully · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought that this book was very informative and helpful if you are planning on dating someone soon, and are looking to build a good strong god centered relationship with somebody else. although there was a lot of chapters that didn't pertain to me and my relationship ("Stay away from sugar daddy relationships" chapter 6) the book as a whole was very informative and helpful. I feel that I am more prepared for what lies ahead in my relationship and I now have a very good understanding of what the do's and dont's are if I want to have a great god centered relationship. And in no way am I saying that I am now a pro and this book is all you'll need to have a perfect relationship but I would highly recommend this book to anyone who is thinking about dating seriously.

[Angélique (Angel) · Rating 3 out of 5]

A very useful book, I believe. I agree 100% with all of the commandments listed(although, there were bits in between that I thought could be tweaked maybe). The material is presented in a light, easy manner that makes this anything but a tedious read. And the conclusion did a great job of summing up everything and highlighting the most important parts. The only problem I really had with the book was remembering everything. Even though I accepted everything they said, it really didn't solidify in my mind. But perhaps that's just because I've never dated before.

[Becca · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am unsure how I would feel about this book at the current time. When I read it in 2006, I thought it was a great resource about dating and Christianity. I wrote, This book gives concrete advice rather than just saying, "Pray for your spouse."

I also liked that it make some jabs at I Kissed Dating Goodbye, a huge movement in my teen years that I rebelled against - mostly with my lips.

[Rachelle Cobb]

I borrowed this title from an engaged friend, and we both laughed about how she certainly wouldn't be needing it anymore! I found it to be chock-full of common sense advice. The majority of which I already knew, having grown up with the mindset that I'd rather "date with intention" than "date around." If you're looking for the basics on wisely navigating the world of dating and relationships, I recommend this book as a good starting point.

[Alyssa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having never dated before (I'm nearing 21), I didn't know what to expect or look for in a relationship since I was always on the look out for 1.) Is he a devoted Christian and 2.) Can I see myself with him a month, two, ten months, three years, ten years from now? I took notes and this book really helped to put what I want out of a relationship into perspective.

[Robin Matos · Rating 3 out of 5]

Me gusto. Tiene consejos practicos que se pueden aplicar inmediatamente, sin embargo dada la manera en que fue redactado dificilmente seria mi primera recomendacion para una pareja de novios cristianos. El libro posee muy poco contenido biblico y a pesar de presentar principios que obviamente provienen de la Biblia no menciona casi ningun verso biblico.

[Amy Huth · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is very good! It is directed for high school kids (boys and girls)or college age kids. It is very direct, bold and filled with scripture to back it up. no exaggerations, yet real stories on what teenagers are going through in the world they live in today regarding waiting for sex dating.

[Kim · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book as it was very clear on what is black and white in a relationship and how to improve future relationships. Would definitely recommend it friends and family as it was practical and relatable.

[Elisa Casanova · Rating 4 out of 5]

Creo que este libro es muy "old school" en muchos aspectos y bastante radical, pero oara eso cada quien tenga su propio criterio y tome lo que le sirva.
En generla, muy buenos consejos y me sacó de muchas dudas sobre las relsciones y a donde dirigirme

[Holly · Rating 5 out of 5]

not LDS but very useful

[Des · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I read this, I was a teen and I remember loving the language & the message. I would like to do a reread soon in order to see how I'll process it as an adult.

[Patrick Gruber · Rating 4 out of 5]

Best book on dating out there.

[Nadia Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

To the point and still relevant!

[Zaret Vargas · Rating 4 out of 5]

No one is enough smart, everybody need a guide to get marriage widwly and wisdom comes from God and his ]word.

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very helpful and practical advice! I would recommend it to any single person and any couples that are currently dating.

[Amanda H. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read;
October 10, 2011
August 19, 2013