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Sevgi Neden Önemlidir? Şefkat Bir Bebeğin Beynini Nasıl Biçimlendirir?
Sevgi Neden Önemlidir?, bebeğin ilk yıllarında sevgi dolu bir ilişkinin beynin gelişimi açısından neden zorunlu olduğunu ve erken dönemdeki etkileşimlerin, gelecekteki duygusal ve fiziksel sağlık açısından nasıl kalıcı sonuçlar doğurabileceğini açıklıyor. Bu kitabın ilk basımının elde ettiği başarının hemen ardından gelen ikinci basımda, bilimsel araştırmalar güncellenmiş ve genetik ile zihin/beden ilişkisi konusundaki son buluşlar da bu basımın kapsamına alınmıştır. Yeni basıma, hamileliğin bebeğin gelecekteki duygusal ve fiziksel esenliğini biçimlemekte oynadığı rolü ele alan yeni bir bölüm dahil edilmiştir.
Sue Gerhardt, erken dönemde yaşanan stresin bir bebeğin ya da erken çocukluk dönemindeki bir çocuğun gelişmekte olan sinir sistemi üzerindeki geniş kapsamlı etkilerine özellikle odaklanmaktadır. Erken dönemde ilişkiler yolunda gitmediğinde, bağımlı çocuğun bu duruma uyum sağlaması gerekir; şimdi çocuğun beyninin de buna uyum sağladığını biliyoruz.
Beynin özellikle duygulanım ve bağışıklık sistemleri, erken dönemdeki stresten etkilenir ve daha az etkili olabilir. Bu durum çocuğu, depresyon, antisosyal davranış, bağımlılıklar ya da anoreksiya gibi bir dizi sorunun yanı sıra fiziksel hastalıklar karşısında da daha savunmasız kılar.
Sevgi Neden Önemlidir?, sinirbilim, gelişimsel psikoloji ve nörobiyoloji alanlarındaki son buluşların kolay anlaşılabilir ve canlı bir anlatımı. Bu kitap ana babalar ve uzmanlar için son derece değerli bir rehber.
“Sevgi Neden Önemlidir? son derece önemli bir kitap. Her ana babanın, öğretmenin ve siyasetçinin zorunlu okuma listesinde olmalı.” Rebecca Abrams, The Guardian
“Çok heyecan verici bir okuma deneyimi. Beyin, ebeveynlik ve duygusal gelişim üzerine en güncel araştırmaların muhteşem bir yazarlıkla birleştiği bu kitap, popüler bilimin en iyi örneklerinden birini sunuyor.
Güçlü ve dönüştürücü bir mesaj sunan bu çalışmayı, bütün ana babaların, siyasetçilerin, çocuk eğitimi profesyonellerinin, öğrencilerin ve daha sağlıklı ve mutlu bir gelecek arzulayanların mutlaka okuması gerekir.”
Dr. Graham Music, danışman psikoterapist, Tavistock Kliniği, Londra, Nurturing Natures adlı kitabın yazarı.
Sue Gerhardt, erken dönemde yaşanan stresin bir bebeğin ya da erken çocukluk dönemindeki bir çocuğun gelişmekte olan sinir sistemi üzerindeki geniş kapsamlı etkilerine özellikle odaklanmaktadır. Erken dönemde ilişkiler yolunda gitmediğinde, bağımlı çocuğun bu duruma uyum sağlaması gerekir; şimdi çocuğun beyninin de buna uyum sağladığını biliyoruz.
Beynin özellikle duygulanım ve bağışıklık sistemleri, erken dönemdeki stresten etkilenir ve daha az etkili olabilir. Bu durum çocuğu, depresyon, antisosyal davranış, bağımlılıklar ya da anoreksiya gibi bir dizi sorunun yanı sıra fiziksel hastalıklar karşısında da daha savunmasız kılar.
Sevgi Neden Önemlidir?, sinirbilim, gelişimsel psikoloji ve nörobiyoloji alanlarındaki son buluşların kolay anlaşılabilir ve canlı bir anlatımı. Bu kitap ana babalar ve uzmanlar için son derece değerli bir rehber.
“Sevgi Neden Önemlidir? son derece önemli bir kitap. Her ana babanın, öğretmenin ve siyasetçinin zorunlu okuma listesinde olmalı.” Rebecca Abrams, The Guardian
“Çok heyecan verici bir okuma deneyimi. Beyin, ebeveynlik ve duygusal gelişim üzerine en güncel araştırmaların muhteşem bir yazarlıkla birleştiği bu kitap, popüler bilimin en iyi örneklerinden birini sunuyor.
Güçlü ve dönüştürücü bir mesaj sunan bu çalışmayı, bütün ana babaların, siyasetçilerin, çocuk eğitimi profesyonellerinin, öğrencilerin ve daha sağlıklı ve mutlu bir gelecek arzulayanların mutlaka okuması gerekir.”
Dr. Graham Music, danışman psikoterapist, Tavistock Kliniği, Londra, Nurturing Natures adlı kitabın yazarı.
328 pages, Paperback
First published January 7, 2003
407 people are currently reading
3760 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 153 reviews
October 16, 2007
This book changed my life. Really. I had never thought about social development in the terms in which Gerhardt proposes. And I've never been so self-aware. Still, sometimes I can't help thinking ignorance is bliss...
October 14, 2008
Fascinating book giving a solid argument for importance of empathic and responsive care in early infancy. The care we receive as babies sews the seeds for future adult relationships and how feelings are regulated psychologically and physiologically. If a baby is not regulated well by the parent he will find it difficult to regulate his own feelings as an adult. Being cared for by a depressed and unresponsive mother can have a devastating effect on a babies ability to develop good secure coping mechanisms.
A good companion to the Shattered lives book I just read as this research backs up all of Camilla’s arguments, that neglected children often grow up to become adults with anti-social/violent behaviour who have extreme difficulty regulating their feelings and coping with their painful experiences.
All parents should read this before they decide to have children!
A good companion to the Shattered lives book I just read as this research backs up all of Camilla’s arguments, that neglected children often grow up to become adults with anti-social/violent behaviour who have extreme difficulty regulating their feelings and coping with their painful experiences.
All parents should read this before they decide to have children!
September 13, 2011
This book has been an amazing discovery. The way the author has been able to translate recent hard-science evidence into intelligible information is great. I'd like this book to be made compulsory reading at university, when one is mature enough to reflect about what it means to create a new life, and to try to gather information about our own infancy and how it may influence our emotions around parent-motherhood. This book is an invitation to think, not only about family but also about society, and the collective consequences that have our individual choices - sometimes ill informed and automatic.
November 17, 2011
Why Love Matters is a very read-able and accessible foray into the world of attachment between a baby and their caregiver. Gerhardt uses scientific evidence to illustrate the importance of a loving bond but does so in a way that is easy to follow. I believe that this book is useful for practitioners but also invaluable for parents.
June 14, 2012
This book blew my mind. Along with Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn it's one of the most important books on parenting I've read. Drawing together compellingly presented, well researched evidence from neuroscience, psychology, psychoanalysis and biochemistry, Sue Gerhart provides an excellent account of why a developing brain requires responsive nurture.
September 7, 2013
A strange book. Easy to read (although it gets rather repetitive) and with some interesting information on the scientific evidence of the impact of relationships on the brain, but the interrelationship between the claims about brain states and the psychotherapeutic insights is rather uncertain. Sometimes she just seems to be translating normal things we might say about what someone was thinking/feeling into talk about brain states (so a sentence like: "he was stressed and then became frightened" would be recast as in terms of statements as different parts of his brain firing up) and then sometimes she seems to forget about all the talk of brain states and talks about child-raising from a psychotherapist's perspective. Most people are likely to agree that a difficult childhood risks scarring someone for life, how much difference does it make to say the scars are reflected in the brain as well as the mind? The author does not explore this issue and may not does not have much sense that this sort of question might be worth discussing.
June 6, 2010
Amazing book. Everyone should read this, especially parents or to-be parents. This book showed me why I react to stressors the way I do and how I can change my reactions. It also hopefully will stop the cycle so my daughter will be raised differently than how I was.
May 12, 2010
Too technical for what I wanted, haven't finished it and won't. Great if you want the scientific details. I want love and hugs matter kinda stuff.
April 30, 2024
Väldigt biologicentrerad bok som av någon anledning är skriven av en psykoterapeut. Långa utläggningar om vad som händer i olika delar av hjärnan om man är dum mot små barn. Jag tycker alltid det känns ganska svagt med det där med olika delar av hjärnan. Vet man verkligen att det är så. Jag behöver i alla fall inte veta mer om det. Särskilt oseriöst när hon kommer dragandes med hur Einsteins hjärna såg ut. Överhuvudtaget tar jag inte med mig så mycket mer än att man verkligen ska vara snäll mot små barn och det var nog dit jag lutade även på förhand.
December 8, 2025
świetnie napisana książka, naprawdę warta przeczytania
July 20, 2012
Thought-provoking, challenging, worrying and informative. An important read for parents, especially first time parents who are particularly vulnerable to often well-intentioned but misguided advice. This book looks at how stress under the age of two affects a baby's brain and social development, and how our early parenting choices-to leave baby to cry or not-can affect the long term physical and emotional health of our children, and by extension, the health of our society.
This book presents the interesting viewpoint that the crucial role of parents in the first 6 months is to act as emotional regulators for their babies, and how their willingness or capacity to act in this role can affect their babies' social (or antisocial) behaviour, as well as their own parenting, in later life.
Four stars because this is a book everybody could benefit from reading, but not five stars because the overly academic tone means it's unlikely to reach the wider audience.
This book presents the interesting viewpoint that the crucial role of parents in the first 6 months is to act as emotional regulators for their babies, and how their willingness or capacity to act in this role can affect their babies' social (or antisocial) behaviour, as well as their own parenting, in later life.
Four stars because this is a book everybody could benefit from reading, but not five stars because the overly academic tone means it's unlikely to reach the wider audience.
August 20, 2011
This is such a fantastic read. The author explains in easy to understand writing how important the relationship is between mother( main caretaker) and child the first 6 months of life. The amount of stress a baby feels can affect brain development and how stress is dealt with for the rest of his life. Not tending to a babies' needs can have disastrous results for the baby.
I especially enjoyed the research studies done in this area.
I especially enjoyed the research studies done in this area.
June 12, 2021
I found this book really fascinating and eye opening. Sue Gerhardt explained the different ideas clearly and with scientific backing. Reading this book for me was part of a deeper dive into understanding the human brain and why we have certain reactions to certain situations. Discovering the impacts of early parenting has changed my view on development and the impact of parents/environment in our development into fully fledged human beings.
I am 21 years old and I mention this because so many of the topics that were discussed in the book were new to me but they made sense and were not hugely surprising. Living in a society where it is so normal for a female to want a successful career it is easy as a young 21-year-old to put raising a child as secondary to these dreams. Understanding the way the brain functions and how this is impacted through development changes the way I view mental illness as well as behavioral tendencies.
Three points that I learnt from this book are:
- During pregnancy the fetus is preparing itself for the life to come and therefore is affected by the emotional and behavioral state of the mother.
- Regulation of the child's emotions from birth through infancy and beyond, is key to developing a stable adult with the ability to regulate their own emotions. Below is a more detailed description on the stress response:
- The impact of high cortisol on development: babies can at first have high stress responses, but when these stress instances are not relieved, it can cause the child to down regulate the stress response. The stress response is in part made up of high cortisol levels which is partly a release of extra energy while also signaling an acutely stressful situation to focus the body's energy on relieving it. When the stress response is down regulated it supresses normal reponses and can have an impact on how the child later is able to regulate their own feelings and at times acknowledge them.
I am 21 years old and I mention this because so many of the topics that were discussed in the book were new to me but they made sense and were not hugely surprising. Living in a society where it is so normal for a female to want a successful career it is easy as a young 21-year-old to put raising a child as secondary to these dreams. Understanding the way the brain functions and how this is impacted through development changes the way I view mental illness as well as behavioral tendencies.
Three points that I learnt from this book are:
- During pregnancy the fetus is preparing itself for the life to come and therefore is affected by the emotional and behavioral state of the mother.
- Regulation of the child's emotions from birth through infancy and beyond, is key to developing a stable adult with the ability to regulate their own emotions. Below is a more detailed description on the stress response:
- The impact of high cortisol on development: babies can at first have high stress responses, but when these stress instances are not relieved, it can cause the child to down regulate the stress response. The stress response is in part made up of high cortisol levels which is partly a release of extra energy while also signaling an acutely stressful situation to focus the body's energy on relieving it. When the stress response is down regulated it supresses normal reponses and can have an impact on how the child later is able to regulate their own feelings and at times acknowledge them.
February 28, 2012
FANTASTIC! Recommended reading for my Neuroscience for Therapists course, this has been a joy to read, in no way the chore I was anticipating. Written by a British author (sorry my American friends, but what a lovely change!) this has revealed the complexities and nuances of baby and child development in a comprehensible and fascinating manner. Here's a non-p.c. "should": should be required reading for all parents.
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August 2, 2011this is an amazing and important book - as a psychology student it's really helped me fine-tune my interests - this is the kind of book anyone around children or anyone interested in the improvement of life for all should really read - that includes everyone from parents to politicians
January 9, 2010
This book supports the theory I made in my own book that trauma suffered in childhood can severely affect your health both as a child and in later life.
January 4, 2015
Very important content, but a bit hard and exhausting to read
August 18, 2021
This is a must-read for: parents, soon-to-be parents, people interested in the why behind their behavior and emotional patterns. Sue Gerhardt runs a meta-analysis of hundreds of studies (30% of the book is bibliography) in neuroscience, psychology & psychiatry and summarizes everything in an approachable manner.
It highlights how critically important our behavior as parents is in the first 2 years of a newborn's life. It also comes with a set of recommendations on how to tackle this sometimes difficult period with a full understanding of the baby's emotional needs and why behind them.
It also highlights a plethora of mental disorders and how many of them have their roots less in the genetic pool of the person and more in the way that person learns to regulate as a baby, or rather doesn't and lacks this key element of healthy mental growth.
There are also many deeper explanations of attachment theory and some more scientific reveals of it. Basically, we can now correlate the psychology aspect with the neuroscience behind it. If you're curious about how attachment styles are formed, this is a good source of info.
It highlights how critically important our behavior as parents is in the first 2 years of a newborn's life. It also comes with a set of recommendations on how to tackle this sometimes difficult period with a full understanding of the baby's emotional needs and why behind them.
It also highlights a plethora of mental disorders and how many of them have their roots less in the genetic pool of the person and more in the way that person learns to regulate as a baby, or rather doesn't and lacks this key element of healthy mental growth.
There are also many deeper explanations of attachment theory and some more scientific reveals of it. Basically, we can now correlate the psychology aspect with the neuroscience behind it. If you're curious about how attachment styles are formed, this is a good source of info.
January 6, 2025
“Bebeklikte kurulan güvenli bağlar, bir bireyin tüm yaşamı boyunca stresi yönetme kapasitesini belirler. Güvenli bağlanma, kişinin yalnızca duygusal sağlığını değil, aynı zamanda fiziksel sağlığını da destekler.
Sevgi eksikliği yalnızca bireyleri değil, aynı zamanda toplumları da etkiler. Daha fazla empati ve şefkatle büyütülen nesiller, daha sağlıklı ve dayanıklı bir topluma yol açar.
Sevgi, insan gelişiminin görünmeyen iplikleridir; bu iplikler olmadan bir hayat inşa etmek mümkün değildir.”
Gerhardt, okuyuculara, çocukların büyüme süreçlerinde sevginin hem duygusal hem de fizyolojik bir ihtiyaç olduğunu hatırlatıyor. Ebeveynler, öğretmenler, psikologlar ve çocuk gelişimiyle ilgilenler için rehber niteliğinde.
January 15, 2024
"The most frequent behaviors of the parental figures, both mother and father, will be etched in the baby's neural pathways as guides to relating. These repeated experiences turn into learning, and in terms of the pathways involved in emotion, this consists primarily of learning what to expect from others in close relationships. Are other people responsive to feelings and needs, or do they need to be hidden? Will they help to regulate them and help me to feel better or will they hurt me or disappoint me? Our basic psychological organisation is learnt from our generalised experiences in the earliest months and years."
February 3, 2025
This was a recommended read by my therapist, after many conversations about behaviours formed during childhood and the importance of positive relationship with parents. I found it incredibly thought provoking, although some of the studies cited and therefore conclusions are out-of-date. It made me think a lot about whether we are combating anti-social behaviour in the right way, and the role of motherhood in the modern Western world where careers are so important to us. I'd actually recommend this to anyone who is curious, regardless of whether you are a parent or are considering to be one, but with caution, particularly around the topic of omega 3 and its relation to attention deficit disorders. Its not an easy read, and this slowed my reading pace down significantly because I had to really think about what was being conveyed 🤣 but I'm glad I read it because it will prompt some interesting discussions with my therapist!
March 22, 2018
"Το βρέφος αντιπροσωπεύει την πρώτη,ακατέργαστη ύλη του εαυτού.
Δεν υπάρχει σκέψη. Τα πάντα είναι συναίσθημα. Το παιδί θέλει να καταστρέψει και να εκμηδενίσει αυτούς που το πείραξαν. Δεν έχει επίγνωση ότι θα αγαπήσει ή ότι θα συμπαθήσει έστω,κάποτε το αντικείμενο. Δεν έχει επίγνωση ότι ο θυμός που αισθάνεται είναι κάτι που θα του περάσει. Αντίθετα,είναι πεπεισμένο ότι θα μισεί το αντικείμενο αυτό για πάντα."
Δεν υπάρχει σκέψη. Τα πάντα είναι συναίσθημα. Το παιδί θέλει να καταστρέψει και να εκμηδενίσει αυτούς που το πείραξαν. Δεν έχει επίγνωση ότι θα αγαπήσει ή ότι θα συμπαθήσει έστω,κάποτε το αντικείμενο. Δεν έχει επίγνωση ότι ο θυμός που αισθάνεται είναι κάτι που θα του περάσει. Αντίθετα,είναι πεπεισμένο ότι θα μισεί το αντικείμενο αυτό για πάντα."
September 19, 2024
Fascinating book that links psychology's attachment theory and biology of the brain. Quite intense on the jargon, requiring some background scientific understanding. Some suggested links from certain studies are lacking in numbers (too small a study may be chance findings only).
Overall, recommend for those who want to better appreciate in detail how early responsive parenting sets the foundations for an emotionally healthy baby/child/adult.
Overall, recommend for those who want to better appreciate in detail how early responsive parenting sets the foundations for an emotionally healthy baby/child/adult.
May 1, 2018
This book is hugely informative although slightly heavy in places. A basic psychological knowledge is useful to fully absorb the concepts with this book. Touching on attachment, neuropsychology, biology and social care, this title uses real life examples throughout to emphasise important factors in early childhood development. Would definitely recommend to professionals and parents.
June 21, 2023
This book is fantastic! I love that it includes references and was written by an expert in the field of paediatric psychotherapy, and that it’s written so eloquently. This is a must read for everyone.
April 17, 2022
Not good at logging books read for my course but I did actually finish this one!
October 4, 2024
Feb-May 2022
This book was recommended to me so I started reading it when I was well into my first year of motherhood. I enjoyed it very much and found I agreed with what I was reading and hope to implement it naturally in raising my child. But, I did not make it very far into the book at all and stopped reading it after a week or so. I think because all I'd been reading since I fell pregnant were how to be a mum guides and preparation guides on raising children, I felt a bit swamped in my new mummy life and felt like reading had become a chore rather than a hobby. I decided to put aside all of the how to guides about how best to be a new mum and instead decided to pick up some fiction novels once again to embrace a bit more escapism in my spare time. This book got put a side and I've not felt the need to revisit it. I follow enough parenting accounts on social media that I feel I learn enough from them for now and will instead be enjoying reading like I used to from now on :)
July-Oct 2024
This book came out at my local library as an audio book and I decided to give it another go! It took a long while to listen to as I very much had to be in the mood to listen to it. Rather than it being my go to book, I listened to it in between regular novels.
It is most definitely easier to listen to than read with all of the names and titles and references cited throughout. I couldn't get my head around seeing all that stuff on a page and got tired of scanning for the important bits. Listening to it proved to be better for me personally and I'm glad I finally got through it.
This book isn't like other self help books, in that it doesn't give anyone the answer or secret to parenting with step by step guides on how to handle specific situations. Instead, it felt more like a warning of what could happen if love isn't shown to your children from an early age. Giving the more scientific biology results of brain development of people raised in certain environments etc.
Having a 3 and a 1 year old at home, it provided me with some key reminders that, ultimately, connection and love is all that really matters to help your children have the best possible start in life. It's never too late to start as any child at any age, when shown connection and love for a long period of time, will eventually learn the new brain development needed to help them cope with life later on as they grow to become adolescents. Very reassuring for many I'm sure!
This book was recommended to me so I started reading it when I was well into my first year of motherhood. I enjoyed it very much and found I agreed with what I was reading and hope to implement it naturally in raising my child. But, I did not make it very far into the book at all and stopped reading it after a week or so. I think because all I'd been reading since I fell pregnant were how to be a mum guides and preparation guides on raising children, I felt a bit swamped in my new mummy life and felt like reading had become a chore rather than a hobby. I decided to put aside all of the how to guides about how best to be a new mum and instead decided to pick up some fiction novels once again to embrace a bit more escapism in my spare time. This book got put a side and I've not felt the need to revisit it. I follow enough parenting accounts on social media that I feel I learn enough from them for now and will instead be enjoying reading like I used to from now on :)
July-Oct 2024
This book came out at my local library as an audio book and I decided to give it another go! It took a long while to listen to as I very much had to be in the mood to listen to it. Rather than it being my go to book, I listened to it in between regular novels.
It is most definitely easier to listen to than read with all of the names and titles and references cited throughout. I couldn't get my head around seeing all that stuff on a page and got tired of scanning for the important bits. Listening to it proved to be better for me personally and I'm glad I finally got through it.
This book isn't like other self help books, in that it doesn't give anyone the answer or secret to parenting with step by step guides on how to handle specific situations. Instead, it felt more like a warning of what could happen if love isn't shown to your children from an early age. Giving the more scientific biology results of brain development of people raised in certain environments etc.
Having a 3 and a 1 year old at home, it provided me with some key reminders that, ultimately, connection and love is all that really matters to help your children have the best possible start in life. It's never too late to start as any child at any age, when shown connection and love for a long period of time, will eventually learn the new brain development needed to help them cope with life later on as they grow to become adolescents. Very reassuring for many I'm sure!
December 17, 2021
The low rating is mostly because I was expecting to read more of a parenting-type of book. Instead this one is a psychology book that is very academic. I probably wouldn't have minded this if I was having different expectations but as a parent I was expecting something more useful to my journey as a mother.
I like that she criticizes our modern culture that pushes women to work while pregnant and then gives out very short postpartum vacations forcing them to abandon their babies at day cares. Very few talk about this issue and it's negative consequence on women and children alike.
She also criticizes the horrible widely popular notion that you need to leave your baby to cry it out. And basically this book is all about the importance of responding to the baby's needs in a positive manner and not letting the baby get 'too stressed". She attributes pretty much all mental problems to problems of how parents responded to their kids when they were babies which is too much in my opinion xD! It gets very repetitive chapter after chapter. I admit that I skimmed through a lot of the book.
I like that she criticizes our modern culture that pushes women to work while pregnant and then gives out very short postpartum vacations forcing them to abandon their babies at day cares. Very few talk about this issue and it's negative consequence on women and children alike.
She also criticizes the horrible widely popular notion that you need to leave your baby to cry it out. And basically this book is all about the importance of responding to the baby's needs in a positive manner and not letting the baby get 'too stressed". She attributes pretty much all mental problems to problems of how parents responded to their kids when they were babies which is too much in my opinion xD! It gets very repetitive chapter after chapter. I admit that I skimmed through a lot of the book.
July 15, 2013
This book was wonderful in simplifying the underlying science behind why the first year of development is so important in influencing long term self-regulation as we grow. I also enjoyed the discussion of the limitations in our current system of child care in meeting the best practices for infant attachment and emotional development. I particularly think that for skeptics of the importance of early childhood development, this book sheds light on the value of high quality early care/educators/educarers. I greatly enjoyed the detailed discussion of the role of cortisol and stress in brain development.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 153 reviews