If The Timeless Children wasn't good for anything else – which it wasn't – then it did at least exhume what had become an apocryphal slice of Doctor Who prehistory, the eight Doctors before the 'First', as seen in fabulous seventies Frankenstein knock-off The Brain Of Morbius. Quietly ignored ever since Hartnell was confirmed as "The original, you might say," they began as a wonderful little throwaway tease, eight members of the writing and production staff (who, brilliantly, included yet another person surnamed Baker) in fancy dress. Now, this charity anthology sees eight writers – including some of Who's best – extrapolating a little further from those images. Images which, one might grumble, perhaps feel a little too directly historical, as against the usual eclectic anachronism...but then, the first four official Doctors did all have costumes a little closer to those of particular moments, didn't they? On top of which, the whole point of the exercise is that the show changes hugely from era to era, that sometimes there's almost no similarity between, say, Hartnell's inability to get back to modern Earth and Pertwee's inability to leave it – and what else might it have been in these hidden eras?
First up, Simon Bucher-Jones, who takes a cue from those historical outfits by having his Doctor blending in, more or less, in 1780s Cornwall, and finding something untoward lurking in the mines. I couldn't help wondering if the complaint 'Barker's knee' was an in-joke on one particularly inglorious bit of fan lore, but aside from that and the element of subterfuge, this is a story which could easily have cropped up in any era of the show, which one might consider slightly disappointing give the possibilities of the exercise and the pedigree of the writer, or equally as a way of easing the reader in. Fortunately, Philip Purser-Hallard is on form in the next piece, demonstrating his usual wonderful lightness of touch - as when, during the Second World War, the Doctor's correspondence includes "a matter-of-fact note in an elderly hand about anomalous bee migration patterns on the South Downs" No name needed, nor any further reference back to that; nothing to tell anyone who's missed the nod that they missed anything at all, but a big smile for anyone who got it. There are also some odd juxtapositions of famous faces from history to match anything in the City Of The Saved setting he previously spun off from a spin-off of Who (and which is far better than that description makes it sound), and a wonderful summary of his Doctor which would do duty for many of the others too: "He is an intensely annoying man, and all the more irksome because it is difficult not to forgive him his multiple annoyances."
Andrew Hickey takes a slightly more method approach, counting back incarnations from the show's 1963 debut and working out what 1940s Who might have looked like – all rocket-ships to Venus, square-jawed British explorers and suspicious socialists. Although it's probably a mercy that he doesn't let it play out quite as it probably would have at the time. Then Kara Dennison's up, her fabulously camp, spyglass-wielding Doctor recalling both of Richard E Grant's too-brief stints in the TARDIS. Next, Lance Parkin, possibly my all-time favourite Who writer, is the only one here making a return visit to one of these particular incarnations (though I confess that if I did ever know the Camfield Doctor had been one of the players in his nineties novel Cold Fusion, I'd quite forgotten it – and of course in turn that sets me thinking anew about which Doctor it was in The Infinity Doctors...). This is a brief encounter with one of the more ruthless Doctors – an incarnation to rank alongside War, though I still reckon Seventh could take them both, or more likely have them take each other. And Aditya Bidakar, better known as a letterer, turns in a fabulously cosmic piece which I can easily imagine illustrated by John Ridgway.
Alas, in the final quarter, the collection does lose some of its sparkle. Jay Eales' story doesn't even have any intrinsic problems; it just suffers from covering fairly similar ground to Dennison's, being the second story in which a flamboyant Doctor is imprisoned by a totalitarian regime, with a more head-down local cellmate providing exposition. Though yes, I am aware that complaining about an excess of imprisonment scenes in Doctor Who is a bit rich (and hey, at least in both the ones here the Doctor actually escapes, rather than waiting around to be rescued while moping over a retcon). And after that is a piece by Paul Driscoll which, if still better than anything Chibnall could ever come up with, does feel a little like one of the more forgettable modern DWM strips redone in prose, being essentially the Gorbals Vampire story relocated to a generic London suburb and then used to deliver a blindingly obvious moral. Even here, though, I did enjoy the Doctor's description of himself as the Apostle of the Universe.
And so as to make sure we exit with a smile – in the back are the Target homages of 'The Changing Face of Dr. Who', all of which imply a wealth of other stories from their eras, mostly while taking the piss to utterly joyful effect.