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Wished You Were Dead (Novel) #1
네가 죽기를 바랄때가 있었다 1 [Nega Juggireul Baralddaega Isseossda 1]
크로이센의 황제 카를로이는 황후 이본느를 증오했다.
하루 세 번쯤 그녀가 없어졌으면 좋겠다고 생각할 만큼.
원수인 델루아 공작을 꼭 닮은 얼굴도 싫은데,
아무리 모욕을 줘도 변함없이 무심하고 냉담한 성격은 더 끔찍했다.
죽든, 사라지든 그저 제 눈에 띄지 않는다면 바랄 게 없을 것 같았는데…….
소원이 이루어졌다.
그가 그 소원을 더는 바라지 않을 때에.
하루 세 번쯤 그녀가 없어졌으면 좋겠다고 생각할 만큼.
원수인 델루아 공작을 꼭 닮은 얼굴도 싫은데,
아무리 모욕을 줘도 변함없이 무심하고 냉담한 성격은 더 끔찍했다.
죽든, 사라지든 그저 제 눈에 띄지 않는다면 바랄 게 없을 것 같았는데…….
소원이 이루어졌다.
그가 그 소원을 더는 바라지 않을 때에.
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First published November 2, 2020
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Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews
January 20, 2022
*Rating: 1.5-2?*
This novel follows the story of our protagonists; Karloi Croytan, and Yvonne Delua.
The Emperor, Karloi of Croysen, had his life flipped upside down due to a traumatizing incident that took place over a decade ago. He had been kidnapped by Hans Delua and was mercilessly abused. Yet everyone, including his parents had turned their backs on him- no one had come for his aid. Except for the scrawny girl, Lillian Lou, who he has yet to find after all those years.
As tensions begin to arise between the Duke of Delua, and the Emperor, Karloi's Imperial position and reputation is threatened. With no other choice, he is forced to marry the daughter of the Duke; Yvonne Delua. While carefully treading through this forced marriage, Karloi continues to fear losing his position to the well-admired Duke. So, Karloi starts to approach his wife coldly in hopes of ruining the Duke's schemes, and to satisfy his thirst of revenge against Hans Delua. As Karloi grows colder, his marriage nears the brink of disaster.
Meanwhile, Yvonne Delua, who was once Karloi's savior, is now merely his enemy. Bearing the loss of her childhood friend and first love, Yvonne has fallen victim to the Duke's powerful threats and abuse, as well as Karloi's unbearable torture.
"A mysterious and dark story that leaves readers in distress"
____________________________________________________________
This novel follows the story of our protagonists; Karloi Croytan, and Yvonne Delua.
The Emperor, Karloi of Croysen, had his life flipped upside down due to a traumatizing incident that took place over a decade ago. He had been kidnapped by Hans Delua and was mercilessly abused. Yet everyone, including his parents had turned their backs on him- no one had come for his aid. Except for the scrawny girl, Lillian Lou, who he has yet to find after all those years.
As tensions begin to arise between the Duke of Delua, and the Emperor, Karloi's Imperial position and reputation is threatened. With no other choice, he is forced to marry the daughter of the Duke; Yvonne Delua. While carefully treading through this forced marriage, Karloi continues to fear losing his position to the well-admired Duke. So, Karloi starts to approach his wife coldly in hopes of ruining the Duke's schemes, and to satisfy his thirst of revenge against Hans Delua. As Karloi grows colder, his marriage nears the brink of disaster.
Meanwhile, Yvonne Delua, who was once Karloi's savior, is now merely his enemy. Bearing the loss of her childhood friend and first love, Yvonne has fallen victim to the Duke's powerful threats and abuse, as well as Karloi's unbearable torture.
"A mysterious and dark story that leaves readers in distress"
____________________________________________________________
September 4, 2022
English summary:
The Emperor of Croisen hated Empress Yvonne. Enough that he’d wish for her to disappear three times a day.
I don’t like the face of someone who looks just like the Duke of Delois, my enemy, but no matter how much I insulted her, her indifferent and aloof character stayed the same, which made me feel even more terrible.
I didn’t care whether or not she disappears or dies. I was fine with anything as long as I didn’t see her face.
The wish came true.
When he no longer wished for it to happen.
------
If you're going to pick this up, please be aware that there are some attempted suicide, drug use and abuse in the story.
I'm a sucker for angst so I had to read this one even though I'm 90% sure I would hate Karloi.
Straight up trash material:
The author did a great job in creating problems that would leave more mIsUndERstanDingS and would cause the two to not communicate with each other in the first half of the novel.
Don't get me wrong. I was eating this shit up.
More misunderstandings = more angst is what I believe.
But oh boy. I might have gotten the heartache that I was looking for but it seems like it feels hollow if I didnt like one of the main characters.
My blood boiled a lot while reading the story and pretty much just made me ask "WHYYYY?" and sigh a lot. The ending didnt floor me as I would have liked (partly because a part of me wanted the FL to just run away and live peacefully on her own) and overall, just a pretty okay read (even though my heart hurt a bit in some scenes)
Good angst? Yeah
Good story? Meh.
The Emperor of Croisen hated Empress Yvonne. Enough that he’d wish for her to disappear three times a day.
I don’t like the face of someone who looks just like the Duke of Delois, my enemy, but no matter how much I insulted her, her indifferent and aloof character stayed the same, which made me feel even more terrible.
I didn’t care whether or not she disappears or dies. I was fine with anything as long as I didn’t see her face.
The wish came true.
When he no longer wished for it to happen.
------
If you're going to pick this up, please be aware that there are some attempted suicide, drug use and abuse in the story.
I'm a sucker for angst so I had to read this one even though I'm 90% sure I would hate Karloi.
Straight up trash material:
The author did a great job in creating problems that would leave more mIsUndERstanDingS and would cause the two to not communicate with each other in the first half of the novel.
Don't get me wrong. I was eating this shit up.
More misunderstandings = more angst is what I believe.
But oh boy. I might have gotten the heartache that I was looking for but it seems like it feels hollow if I didnt like one of the main characters.
My blood boiled a lot while reading the story and pretty much just made me ask "WHYYYY?" and sigh a lot. The ending didnt floor me as I would have liked (partly because a part of me wanted the FL to just run away and live peacefully on her own) and overall, just a pretty okay read (even though my heart hurt a bit in some scenes)
Good angst? Yeah
Good story? Meh.
January 10, 2022
Not gonna lie, this felt like a waste of time ;(. The story was very confusing at first because none of the protagonists' actions made any sense. The author later gave the explanation as to why the king treats his wife so poorly, but I still failed to feel for him or the queen whatsoever. The backstory was very cliche, the dialogue was poor, the characters felt flat, so I simply got bored. The only thing that was good were the visuals - that is the only reason I gave it 2 stars and not 1. I will not be continuing reading this novel.
December 19, 2022
my love/hate relationship with the miscommunication trope is becoming apparent the further I get into this webtoon. my girl rue deserves better than this TvT <3
September 8, 2024
اول خمسين فصل عبارة عن تمهيد و البطل ليش يكره البطلة كثير و ليش قاعد يعمل كل هذا فيها و الموضوع من وجه نظرها و هي كيف و ليش متحملة كل هل أذى منه و من ابوها، و فلاش باك لقائهم الأول و ماضيهم سوا.
من الفصل 50 لل80 تبدى الاثارة و ذروة القصة و الاحداث تتوضح و البطل اخيرا يعرف ان البطلة نفسها الي قابلها بطفولته يوم انخطف و هي الي كان يدور عليها طول العشر سنين الماضية.
من فصل 80 لل 130 عبارة عن انفصال بين البطلين و سوء الفهم بينهن و حالتهم النفسية تخرب و توصل للانتحار و الخ
احس كان ممكن يخلصوا المانهو ب 100 فصل كاكثر شيء بس المؤلفة طولت القصة عل فاضي لدرجة صارت الاحداث مملة كلش باخر 50 فصل.
التقيم: نجمتين و نص ⭐
من الفصل 50 لل80 تبدى الاثارة و ذروة القصة و الاحداث تتوضح و البطل اخيرا يعرف ان البطلة نفسها الي قابلها بطفولته يوم انخطف و هي الي كان يدور عليها طول العشر سنين الماضية.
من فصل 80 لل 130 عبارة عن انفصال بين البطلين و سوء الفهم بينهن و حالتهم النفسية تخرب و توصل للانتحار و الخ
احس كان ممكن يخلصوا المانهو ب 100 فصل كاكثر شيء بس المؤلفة طولت القصة عل فاضي لدرجة صارت الاحداث مملة كلش باخر 50 فصل.
التقيم: نجمتين و نص ⭐
June 25, 2025
Maybe I was soft on him but hey he suffered too...
The Angst was really good.
The Angst was really good.
May 27, 2024
Currently reading the webtoon translation:
I'll count this as volume 1:
"The King Hates the Queen" 1-10
The initial step up has me questioning whether this king really is intelligent. He isn't quick on the uptake at all. At first, it was essentially a version of Remarried Empress but now it's just disappointing me... The clear signs of abuse the Queen is experiencing and the King is just blinded by his rage and anger towards her father is just incomprehensible. Like hate on her father, that's fair we all don't like him and he's do nothing to us. However, the King is taking out his anger on Evonne and it's heartbreaking. She's being used by both sides (and I'm starting to think the same for the concubine being in on it as well).
I'll give my predictions:
The King's buddy from the past is 100% Evonne who was just dressed as a boy back then. She saved or helped him, but he can't remember anything about her.
The concubine is under a contract with the King, but that one scene where she says she's become the King's pawn in a moment of desperation is giving me the vibes that she's playing 4d chess. She might love the King but is playing it off at least to retain some power for her family's name. She might have made her own letter depicting the poisoning and made sure the Queen had the poisoned glass.
Evonne knowing full well her glass was poisoned... and still drinking it... girlie wanted to die off from this life. I really feel for her and her suffering. She can't leave the palace not out of greed, but her father ain't gonna take her back. Who in their right mind would shelter a deposed queen? She has no where to go... Telling Evonne to disappear is the equivalent of telling her to die if she wants out.
King acting love sick? Give me a break, he has no right to feel for Evonne after what he put her through. Now him, using her feelings and disadvantage to his benefit, disgusts me. He's playing her and he even acknowledged that it would be cruel of him to take everything from her and he STILL does it..
This is gonna be a long read. Hopefully, it gets better for Evonne, the misunderstandings are pissing me off.
I'll count this as volume 1:
"The King Hates the Queen" 1-10
The initial step up has me questioning whether this king really is intelligent. He isn't quick on the uptake at all. At first, it was essentially a version of Remarried Empress but now it's just disappointing me... The clear signs of abuse the Queen is experiencing and the King is just blinded by his rage and anger towards her father is just incomprehensible. Like hate on her father, that's fair we all don't like him and he's do nothing to us. However, the King is taking out his anger on Evonne and it's heartbreaking. She's being used by both sides (and I'm starting to think the same for the concubine being in on it as well).
I'll give my predictions:
The King's buddy from the past is 100% Evonne who was just dressed as a boy back then. She saved or helped him, but he can't remember anything about her.
The concubine is under a contract with the King, but that one scene where she says she's become the King's pawn in a moment of desperation is giving me the vibes that she's playing 4d chess. She might love the King but is playing it off at least to retain some power for her family's name. She might have made her own letter depicting the poisoning and made sure the Queen had the poisoned glass.
Evonne knowing full well her glass was poisoned... and still drinking it... girlie wanted to die off from this life. I really feel for her and her suffering. She can't leave the palace not out of greed, but her father ain't gonna take her back. Who in their right mind would shelter a deposed queen? She has no where to go... Telling Evonne to disappear is the equivalent of telling her to die if she wants out.
King acting love sick? Give me a break, he has no right to feel for Evonne after what he put her through. Now him, using her feelings and disadvantage to his benefit, disgusts me. He's playing her and he even acknowledged that it would be cruel of him to take everything from her and he STILL does it..
This is gonna be a long read. Hopefully, it gets better for Evonne, the misunderstandings are pissing me off.
July 25, 2023
Warning: This manhwa requires a lot of patience and understanding of trauma, emotional inabilities and childhood trauma as well.
Where to start?
The ML sees the face of the only one he ever felt care and love for yet failed to bring her to him. He is still looking for her, Lulu/Lilian, the girl her met on a mountain. The MC is a beautiful woman and empress to the emperor (ML) who hates her because of her father, duke Delois. The ML wants to bring down the duke. Still, he does feel for the woman in front of her. The woman who is unable to tell him a lot of things like she can't speak and the ML who wants answers but can't find it in his heart to completely trust the woman who is MC. So, misunderstandings ensue, and lot of shit happens. It takes 88 episodes for the ML to finally understand the MC, with good reason though. So, the love story starts very late in the novel.
Take this story with a lot of pinches of salt when you are in the first 88 chapters. Its heart-wrenching sadness, trauma, misunderstandings, miscommunication and suppressed love. Everything becomes clear as water once you read enough chapters. So, my only request is, if you feel intrigued, keep reading. It won't disappoint.
Story: 5/5
Romance: 4/5
Character arcs/growth: 4/5
PS: I have already read the web-novel for this manhwa, so I know what is going to happen. Still, I am keeping up with the manhwa so far as it's a beautiful story of love and hopelessness, of getting over your trauma, loss and still be able to express and love. Above all, have the courage and strength to ask for forgiveness and hope, HOPE that one day they will forgive you, love you back.
Where to start?
The ML sees the face of the only one he ever felt care and love for yet failed to bring her to him. He is still looking for her, Lulu/Lilian, the girl her met on a mountain. The MC is a beautiful woman and empress to the emperor (ML) who hates her because of her father, duke Delois. The ML wants to bring down the duke. Still, he does feel for the woman in front of her. The woman who is unable to tell him a lot of things like she can't speak and the ML who wants answers but can't find it in his heart to completely trust the woman who is MC. So, misunderstandings ensue, and lot of shit happens. It takes 88 episodes for the ML to finally understand the MC, with good reason though. So, the love story starts very late in the novel.
Take this story with a lot of pinches of salt when you are in the first 88 chapters. Its heart-wrenching sadness, trauma, misunderstandings, miscommunication and suppressed love. Everything becomes clear as water once you read enough chapters. So, my only request is, if you feel intrigued, keep reading. It won't disappoint.
Story: 5/5
Romance: 4/5
Character arcs/growth: 4/5
PS: I have already read the web-novel for this manhwa, so I know what is going to happen. Still, I am keeping up with the manhwa so far as it's a beautiful story of love and hopelessness, of getting over your trauma, loss and still be able to express and love. Above all, have the courage and strength to ask for forgiveness and hope, HOPE that one day they will forgive you, love you back.
December 31, 2024
Czytam kiedy nie mam co robić XD
January 24, 2025
Pues está padre hasta cierto punto.
Yo amo las historias con Angst y siento que si eso es lo que buscas pues la historia cumple bastante en ello, el ML es basura pero no basura tan irredimible como otros ML que he leído...I guess 🤷🏻♀️
Pero pues, idk hubiera preferido que cada quien se fuera por su camino, la historia pierde momentum después de la muerte del 'padre' de la FL y pues se siente muy vacía o sin objetivo claro, fanservice muy evidente alsooooo.
Supongo que está entretenidilla la historia si quieres un Angst fix y llorar un ratito.
3 🌟 solo porque Goodreads por alguna razón no me deja ponerle 🌟🌟1/2
Yo amo las historias con Angst y siento que si eso es lo que buscas pues la historia cumple bastante en ello, el ML es basura pero no basura tan irredimible como otros ML que he leído...I guess 🤷🏻♀️
Pero pues, idk hubiera preferido que cada quien se fuera por su camino, la historia pierde momentum después de la muerte del 'padre' de la FL y pues se siente muy vacía o sin objetivo claro, fanservice muy evidente alsooooo.
Supongo que está entretenidilla la historia si quieres un Angst fix y llorar un ratito.
3 🌟 solo porque Goodreads por alguna razón no me deja ponerle 🌟🌟1/2
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 22, 2026
2.25 ⭐️
Disclaimer: I hate-read both the manhwa and webnovel to their completion just to see the ML grovel in desperation and full of regret. I needed him to feel his whole world crumble and cave in on itself. To be a witness of that — was a nice treat.
It did deliver but not as much as I expected. I would have rather her find her own happiness and have him live through his days, atoning by making the world better for his people as well as watching her from the sidelines have her happily ever after, separate from him.
This is not for the faint of heart, as it’s heavy on the angst and trauma. It is not a happy love story, though they obviously are the endgame. You have been warned.
Disclaimer: I hate-read both the manhwa and webnovel to their completion just to see the ML grovel in desperation and full of regret. I needed him to feel his whole world crumble and cave in on itself. To be a witness of that — was a nice treat.
It did deliver but not as much as I expected. I would have rather her find her own happiness and have him live through his days, atoning by making the world better for his people as well as watching her from the sidelines have her happily ever after, separate from him.
This is not for the faint of heart, as it’s heavy on the angst and trauma. It is not a happy love story, though they obviously are the endgame. You have been warned.
September 22, 2024
It was an interesting start but it DRAGGED on for so long. I skimmed through the spin off (didn’t even look forward to it). I think maybe the author wanted to convey that healing from the incident will take a LONG time, but it felt like there was no development near the end until they finally reunited. Bit of a dull read imo, way better webtoons out there
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 13, 2024
It was excellent from the start, a lot of lot of I mean just toxic angst in the middle and then the ML face became adorable in the last few chapters.
I enjoyed it and hated it altogether but I must say this manhwa had a good story. But the dragging in the mid was what made the novel 50 50 for me.
I enjoyed it and hated it altogether but I must say this manhwa had a good story. But the dragging in the mid was what made the novel 50 50 for me.
August 12, 2023
No matter how much you love someone, losing them is more difficult than dying, no, more difficult than living.
Currently Reading
September 14, 2023Reading on Webtoon.
January 18, 2024
This is literally my favorite korean novel!!? maybe because I love angst and redemption lol😭
February 4, 2024
Had me on a chokehold most of the time
February 20, 2024
It goes from toxic to happy and then finally healthy
April 13, 2024
The art work is stunning and I enjoyed the story and the characters.
April 14, 2024
Webtoon was completed. Couldn’t find the Webtoon on GR
Read
June 7, 2024There Were Times When I Wished You Were Dead
Read
June 13, 2024 manhwa
June 27, 2024
I wished i was dead whilst reading this
August 13, 2024
This had so much potential, the first 20-30 chapters were amazing, sadly the second half was just so boring I couldn't care less about the characters and where they ended.
August 23, 2024
Read this as the manhwa.
This story was full of angst and unparalleled suffering. If people like the main characters exist, I wish them all the happiness in the world.
This story was full of angst and unparalleled suffering. If people like the main characters exist, I wish them all the happiness in the world.
April 14, 2026
read the webtoon. v unfortunate for all involved
May 13, 2026
wished you were dead? more like, who can be the most foolish
August 19, 2024
Damn! There was so much miscommunication and misunderstanding but a great story nonetheless! The story of healing and realistic redemption, wonderful! I really enjoyed the beautiful artstyle but also the story arc and each of the characters :) would recommend
Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews