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All The Twats I Met Along the Way
What happens when you so deeply believe something you were told as a child that it becomes the driving force behind almost every thought, feeling and action for the rest of your life – until you decide to take complete control and change your life entirely? For decades, Carolyn Hobdey believed she was ‘trouble’ and if she wasn’t ‘nicer’ she’d spend her days alone and unloved.
All The Tw*ts I Met Along The Way tells Carolyn’s tales of crappy boyfriends, sickening sexual encounters, manipulative men, love triangles, unsupportive and unsupported medical diagnoses… and that’s just in the first few pages. From porn-addicted boyfriends who go from fitties to owners of ‘dad bods,’ to car crashes and boob jobs. Marriage to a lover who became more like a brother (and who came out as gay after their 15 year relationship) and later a relationship with a man and his ‘ready-made family’ that exposes a damaging case of coercive control and narcissism. Carolyn’s story exposes the unrelenting pull of the child-parent relationship – even in adulthood – and all the messiness, self-esteem issues and confusion that can cause. As she writes, “I didn’t want to be the trouble-maker, the one to cause my parents concern, anymore.”
All The Tw*ts I Met Along The Way tells Carolyn’s tales of crappy boyfriends, sickening sexual encounters, manipulative men, love triangles, unsupportive and unsupported medical diagnoses… and that’s just in the first few pages. From porn-addicted boyfriends who go from fitties to owners of ‘dad bods,’ to car crashes and boob jobs. Marriage to a lover who became more like a brother (and who came out as gay after their 15 year relationship) and later a relationship with a man and his ‘ready-made family’ that exposes a damaging case of coercive control and narcissism. Carolyn’s story exposes the unrelenting pull of the child-parent relationship – even in adulthood – and all the messiness, self-esteem issues and confusion that can cause. As she writes, “I didn’t want to be the trouble-maker, the one to cause my parents concern, anymore.”
- GenresMemoirNonfiction
370 pages, Paperback
First published January 18, 2021
3 people are currently reading
34 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews
February 28, 2021
I totally agree with the blurb when it says:
"Fans of Bridget Jones will appreciate the candour, humour and raw honesty about heartbreak, adulting, premature menopause, childlessness and personal tragedies."
The author talks about the worst boyfriends and manipulative people; love that has gone wrong; misleading medical diagnoses; the messy adulthood lives we live; hidden sexuality of partners; narcissistic and controlling relationships; the inevitable child-parent relationship; self-esteem issues and confusion we tend to have in our adulthood lives.
But yes, how's this book different?
The writing! It's fun; it's entertaining and yes, the laugh-out-louds in between! And yes, it's damn inspirational.
All you would feel is happy and happier as you go on reading this book of events that are happening (and yes, you would want to question how did this person survive all these crappy people?!).
But I cried more too because I know what the author means when she wrote about so many things that I see everyday around me.
Even though reading about all the mess happening in someone else's life seems like it might not happen to us but I know similar things are happening to us and reading such books do help a lot.
A laugh out loud read maybe but it made me realise so many things about how we are wronged unnecessarily in the name of 'guys will be guys' and how we women can change the way we are being treated. It starts from ourselves!
Thank you for being someone who's making the rest of us stronger, dear author 💌
"Fans of Bridget Jones will appreciate the candour, humour and raw honesty about heartbreak, adulting, premature menopause, childlessness and personal tragedies."
The author talks about the worst boyfriends and manipulative people; love that has gone wrong; misleading medical diagnoses; the messy adulthood lives we live; hidden sexuality of partners; narcissistic and controlling relationships; the inevitable child-parent relationship; self-esteem issues and confusion we tend to have in our adulthood lives.
But yes, how's this book different?
The writing! It's fun; it's entertaining and yes, the laugh-out-louds in between! And yes, it's damn inspirational.
All you would feel is happy and happier as you go on reading this book of events that are happening (and yes, you would want to question how did this person survive all these crappy people?!).
But I cried more too because I know what the author means when she wrote about so many things that I see everyday around me.
Even though reading about all the mess happening in someone else's life seems like it might not happen to us but I know similar things are happening to us and reading such books do help a lot.
A laugh out loud read maybe but it made me realise so many things about how we are wronged unnecessarily in the name of 'guys will be guys' and how we women can change the way we are being treated. It starts from ourselves!
Thank you for being someone who's making the rest of us stronger, dear author 💌
January 18, 2021
Do you consider yourself to be living your life in a similar way to Bridget Jones or have so many obstacles to overcome in life that you get tired of it all? If so, Carolyn Hobdey is here to tell you that you are not alone and that things won't be that way forever. Written in a down to earth, brutally honest and highly amusing manner, it covers many trials and tribulations in life that most us will be able to relate to, and that's what makes this book stand out when compared to books of a similar nature. It helps us understand that this whole messy thing we call life is not straightforward for anyone regardless of their age, gender, race, class, or any other distinguishing features.
All The Tw*ts I Met Along The Way tells the tales of crappy boyfriends, sickening sexual encounters, manipulative men, love triangles, unsupportive and unsupported medical diagnoses… From porn-addicted boyfriends to car crashes and boob jobs. Marriage to a lover who became more like a brother (and who had been hiding his homosexuality throughout their 15-year relationship) and later a relationship with a man and his ‘ready-made family’ that exposes a damaging case of coercive control and narcissism. Carolyn’s story exposes the unrelenting pull of the child-parent relationship – even in adulthood – and all the messiness, self-esteem issues and confusion that can cause in life.
It talks in a refreshingly candid way about heartbreak, adulting, domestic abuse, premature menopause, childlessness, and personal tragedies. What it teaches us ultimately is that it's okay to feel a mess and to feel sad, depressed and lonely but things change and through resilience and laughing rather than crying you'll get through it. After all, it doesn't matter how many times you fall, what matters is that you get back up, dust yourself off and say a mighty F you to your problems. An inspiring, frank and utterly original read that I cannot recommend highly enough.
All The Tw*ts I Met Along The Way tells the tales of crappy boyfriends, sickening sexual encounters, manipulative men, love triangles, unsupportive and unsupported medical diagnoses… From porn-addicted boyfriends to car crashes and boob jobs. Marriage to a lover who became more like a brother (and who had been hiding his homosexuality throughout their 15-year relationship) and later a relationship with a man and his ‘ready-made family’ that exposes a damaging case of coercive control and narcissism. Carolyn’s story exposes the unrelenting pull of the child-parent relationship – even in adulthood – and all the messiness, self-esteem issues and confusion that can cause in life.
It talks in a refreshingly candid way about heartbreak, adulting, domestic abuse, premature menopause, childlessness, and personal tragedies. What it teaches us ultimately is that it's okay to feel a mess and to feel sad, depressed and lonely but things change and through resilience and laughing rather than crying you'll get through it. After all, it doesn't matter how many times you fall, what matters is that you get back up, dust yourself off and say a mighty F you to your problems. An inspiring, frank and utterly original read that I cannot recommend highly enough.
January 18, 2021
This wasn’t quite what I was expecting, , it was a lot darker than I expected, it wasn’t very engaging and I was put off by the writing style which I just couldn’t get along with. Not for me at all.
Thanks to netgalley and the publisher for a free copy for an honest opinion
Thanks to netgalley and the publisher for a free copy for an honest opinion
January 9, 2021
Wow, what a great book!
Carolyn Hobdey has bravely written this book, her memoir - with candour, honesty, compassion and humour.
At the very beginning she has a bullet point list of everyone the book is aimed for, and it certainly includes most human beings – including myself within most of her points.
Last point: Especially ‘If you find the word ‘twat’ funny’
Which is why I chose her book to start with.
There is also a tragic, underlying darkness to her story which at times is shocking, but also very relatable.
Hobdey illustrates many personal episodes of coercive control / narcissistic personality disorder within her own unravelling relationships.
As well as illustrating the shames, and fear of abandonment that juxtaposition her inner child.
Carolyn hangs onto her thin, fraying, quicksilverish strands of hope throughout events.
Her romantic partners are considered with kindness and understanding, generally until they stuff up so badly and land up in the ‘twats’ drawer.
Thankfully she has a few strong and supporting characters in her life, who remain true to her.
She says she has written this book because:
‘We must cultivate a greater understanding of the subtleties of this odious behaviour and make it easier to spot, challenge and eradicate.”
I would have been interested to find out a bit more, especially to read Simon’s ex-wives stories if that were possible, just to get the bigger picture.
Highly recommended and very hard to put down.
Thanks to #NetGalley and #FilamentPublishing for an ARC copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
#AllTheTwatsIMetAlongTheWay
#CarolynHobdey
@literallypr
@carolynhobdey
Carolyn Hobdey has bravely written this book, her memoir - with candour, honesty, compassion and humour.
At the very beginning she has a bullet point list of everyone the book is aimed for, and it certainly includes most human beings – including myself within most of her points.
Last point: Especially ‘If you find the word ‘twat’ funny’
Which is why I chose her book to start with.
There is also a tragic, underlying darkness to her story which at times is shocking, but also very relatable.
Hobdey illustrates many personal episodes of coercive control / narcissistic personality disorder within her own unravelling relationships.
As well as illustrating the shames, and fear of abandonment that juxtaposition her inner child.
Carolyn hangs onto her thin, fraying, quicksilverish strands of hope throughout events.
Her romantic partners are considered with kindness and understanding, generally until they stuff up so badly and land up in the ‘twats’ drawer.
Thankfully she has a few strong and supporting characters in her life, who remain true to her.
She says she has written this book because:
‘We must cultivate a greater understanding of the subtleties of this odious behaviour and make it easier to spot, challenge and eradicate.”
I would have been interested to find out a bit more, especially to read Simon’s ex-wives stories if that were possible, just to get the bigger picture.
Highly recommended and very hard to put down.
Thanks to #NetGalley and #FilamentPublishing for an ARC copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
#AllTheTwatsIMetAlongTheWay
#CarolynHobdey
@literallypr
@carolynhobdey
January 24, 2021
Honest and heartbreaking and real. I’m not a big non-fiction reader. Reading this was more like having a heart to heart with a friend. It was no holds bar look at your friends life. The author didn’t sugar coat anything even when it didn’t show her in the best light. For some the title might be off putting. Don’t let it. This is an important story that needs to be shared to shake the stigma Trigger warning of emotional abuse.
December 16, 2020
Published: January 18, 2021
Filament Publishing
Carolyn Hobdey was a successful businesswoman who held court in some of the most prestigious conference rooms in the business world. But all this did, was allow her to hide a deep secret: she had no self-worth. She wrote this book to help herself and others take control of their lives in both the professional and personal areas.
“Because twats are, after all, everywhere.”
Carolyn Hobdey has been through quite a lot in her life. Some good, some bad, some terrifying. In her memoir, she shares the insights she has earned through her experience.
This book is honest, it’s raw, and it’s filled with highs and lows. Carolyn opens up and shares her darkest secrets and biggest hurts. She shows a vulnerability that is brave and bold.
She shares everything, even things that don’t reflect positively upon her. She gives us the full story, and her humor lightens the blows as she explains what she has been through.
Carolyn Hobdey bares her soul and delivers the darkest of hurts with us. And she does so with purpose. This is a deep dive into what abuse looks like. We learn so much about a woman who has paid more than her share of dues in this life.
The last couple of chapters of this book are powerful. Forgiveness, acceptance, redemption, and self-love are such powerful concepts, and while Carolyn Hobdey doesn’t have all the answers, what she does have is her perspective. And she sings it loud and proud. This is a solid read if you want to overcome your past and come out a better person.
Filament Publishing
Carolyn Hobdey was a successful businesswoman who held court in some of the most prestigious conference rooms in the business world. But all this did, was allow her to hide a deep secret: she had no self-worth. She wrote this book to help herself and others take control of their lives in both the professional and personal areas.
“Because twats are, after all, everywhere.”
Carolyn Hobdey has been through quite a lot in her life. Some good, some bad, some terrifying. In her memoir, she shares the insights she has earned through her experience.
This book is honest, it’s raw, and it’s filled with highs and lows. Carolyn opens up and shares her darkest secrets and biggest hurts. She shows a vulnerability that is brave and bold.
She shares everything, even things that don’t reflect positively upon her. She gives us the full story, and her humor lightens the blows as she explains what she has been through.
Carolyn Hobdey bares her soul and delivers the darkest of hurts with us. And she does so with purpose. This is a deep dive into what abuse looks like. We learn so much about a woman who has paid more than her share of dues in this life.
The last couple of chapters of this book are powerful. Forgiveness, acceptance, redemption, and self-love are such powerful concepts, and while Carolyn Hobdey doesn’t have all the answers, what she does have is her perspective. And she sings it loud and proud. This is a solid read if you want to overcome your past and come out a better person.
December 22, 2020
A real page turner, I couldn’t put it down.
What a journey and thank you for demonstrating that it is possible to rewrite your internal story and use your energy to create a new future from a place of self awareness and determination.
Thank you for being so vulnerable and getting the story out there - not only is it a page turner, it will also open up the conversation about coercive control and emotional abuse and help people recognise what they might be going through, that it’s not ok and hopefully give them the strength to change it.
What a journey and thank you for demonstrating that it is possible to rewrite your internal story and use your energy to create a new future from a place of self awareness and determination.
Thank you for being so vulnerable and getting the story out there - not only is it a page turner, it will also open up the conversation about coercive control and emotional abuse and help people recognise what they might be going through, that it’s not ok and hopefully give them the strength to change it.
January 24, 2021
All the Twats I Met Along the Way by Carolyn Hobdey
🧠🧠🧠🧠/5
This book was a bit heavier than I was expecting, however once I started, I couldn’t stop reading. Carolyn’s way of storytelling is raw, honest and unflinching, something that is rare in female written memoirs, at least in my reading experience.
She lays it all out: finding out at 32 that she can’t have children because she has in fact already gone through menopause; after being married to a man for 15 years, she discovers he’s gay; throwing herself into work when her home life is not what she wants it to be; finding what she feels is as actual partner, but it turns into trying to appease a narcissistic man. Hobdey bares her truth in a way I wish we all could.
I recommend reading this book if you have the chance:
“Because twats are, after all, everywhere.”
Thank you to Filament Publishing and @litpr2012 for my ARC copy in exchange for an honest review.
🧠🧠🧠🧠/5
This book was a bit heavier than I was expecting, however once I started, I couldn’t stop reading. Carolyn’s way of storytelling is raw, honest and unflinching, something that is rare in female written memoirs, at least in my reading experience.
She lays it all out: finding out at 32 that she can’t have children because she has in fact already gone through menopause; after being married to a man for 15 years, she discovers he’s gay; throwing herself into work when her home life is not what she wants it to be; finding what she feels is as actual partner, but it turns into trying to appease a narcissistic man. Hobdey bares her truth in a way I wish we all could.
I recommend reading this book if you have the chance:
“Because twats are, after all, everywhere.”
Thank you to Filament Publishing and @litpr2012 for my ARC copy in exchange for an honest review.
December 28, 2020
This is the first book I have managed to read from start to finish in over a decade. To have done it In less than a week says a lot , when it comes to reading it is hard to keep my attention , so to say it’s a page turner is very least I could say.
Carolyn has conveyed a very honest and authentic tale of her life lessons, which drum up great internal emotion and personal reflection but yet managed to keep sprinkles of humour throughout the book that make it a very entertaining and enjoyable read.
I can’t wait for the next book !
Carolyn has conveyed a very honest and authentic tale of her life lessons, which drum up great internal emotion and personal reflection but yet managed to keep sprinkles of humour throughout the book that make it a very entertaining and enjoyable read.
I can’t wait for the next book !
January 11, 2021
I must admit, I rarely read. The only time I really get the chance to properly read a book is when on holiday. The title of this book just drew me to it straight away...I started reading the introduction (as I had a spare 5 mins) and by the time I knew it, I was 60 pages in and it was 1am!! And still I had to drag myself away!
The only books I’ve ever been so into have been the JoJo Moyes books and this is is the only other author that has had me so gripped (if not more).
It has the perfect mix of emotion, vulnerability and humour.
I cannot wait for the second, third, fourth books!!
Carolyn Hobdey is definitely my new JoJo Moyes and I’ll be keeping my eyes open for anything from her in the future!
The only books I’ve ever been so into have been the JoJo Moyes books and this is is the only other author that has had me so gripped (if not more).
It has the perfect mix of emotion, vulnerability and humour.
I cannot wait for the second, third, fourth books!!
Carolyn Hobdey is definitely my new JoJo Moyes and I’ll be keeping my eyes open for anything from her in the future!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 29, 2021
Really disappointing. The book description couldn't be more off point. It claims to be funny and relatable, neither of which I found to be true. I didn't like the writing style, this one wasn't for me.
December 23, 2020
Disclaimer: I got this book in exchange for an honest review.
This is a story about believing something that you're told about by others for so long that you start to think it's true. Carolyn Hobdey has always been told she's "trouble" and believes she's unloveable. This book talks about the ups and downs in life. Considering the fact that it's been one hell of a year -this is the book you need to read! It's a beautiful coming of age novel. It'll be published on January 18th, 2021.
This is a story about believing something that you're told about by others for so long that you start to think it's true. Carolyn Hobdey has always been told she's "trouble" and believes she's unloveable. This book talks about the ups and downs in life. Considering the fact that it's been one hell of a year -this is the book you need to read! It's a beautiful coming of age novel. It'll be published on January 18th, 2021.
December 21, 2020
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.
Each of these tw*ts she had a relationship with is a chance to learn and grow. From the outside looking in, it's easy to see the warning signs that the situation isn't going to be good. But it's an easy trap to think and hope "things will get better" or "he will change for the better" when in reality, it isn't going to be better. This story is written with honesty and self reflection.
Each of these tw*ts she had a relationship with is a chance to learn and grow. From the outside looking in, it's easy to see the warning signs that the situation isn't going to be good. But it's an easy trap to think and hope "things will get better" or "he will change for the better" when in reality, it isn't going to be better. This story is written with honesty and self reflection.
January 10, 2021
Fantastic read, truly inspirational and so pleased you came out the other side, and have picked yourself up and moved forward, well done and thank you for sharing your story.
I am sure this will help others once they have read this amazing book.
I am sure this will help others once they have read this amazing book.
January 18, 2021
I loved this book, I couldn't put it down. I read it in one session.
A life lived...
The cruelty by Simon was over whelming, I found myself wanting to shout at him, he was a text book narcissist, and totally a self serving pig.
What happened with Alasdair made me cry, how could he not see that its was so so wrong.
What's the matter with these men haven't they had mothers, daughters, other lovers.
How sad, that they have probably gone on to hurt other women.
I wanted it all not to be true.
Never believe every thing you think. Takes true grit to succeed in spite of all that.
A really good read.
A life lived...
The cruelty by Simon was over whelming, I found myself wanting to shout at him, he was a text book narcissist, and totally a self serving pig.
What happened with Alasdair made me cry, how could he not see that its was so so wrong.
What's the matter with these men haven't they had mothers, daughters, other lovers.
How sad, that they have probably gone on to hurt other women.
I wanted it all not to be true.
Never believe every thing you think. Takes true grit to succeed in spite of all that.
A really good read.
January 28, 2021
Huge thanks to Helen at Literally PR for sending me an advance proof copy and offering me a space on the tour for this cracking book. "All The Twats I Met Along The Way" is the first in a planned trilogy from the wonderfully inspiring Carolyn Hobdey. It's part memoir, part motivational with a hefty dose of humour and a whole lot of empathy.
Hobdey is clear from the outset that the overriding theme of the book concerns the ways in which advice received in childhood can set the template for life. In this case, young Carolyn was told she had to be nicer in order to be loved and accepted. That's quite the burden to put on anyone's shoulders and obviously carries some sinister undertones. The first impact we see this have on her life comes via her first boyfriend, who turns out to be quite the Jekyll and Hyde character.
There is a common thread of disastrous relationships running through the book. I applaud Carolyn's bravery in being so honest about her experiences. My biggest take away is that she illustrates very well how easy it is to fall prey to coercive control, particularly as a younger woman. Hobdey shows us coercive control in action, via anecdotal evidence from her own experience. The importance of this cannot be overstated given recent legislation and the (still widespread) confusion as to what it looks like. I was pleased that she chose to talk specifically about coercive control and narcissism at the end of the book. Hobdey hopes to redefine our understanding of victimhood and I feel strongly that this is long overdue. If this book can open that dialogue, then what an enormous achievement that would be on its own!
Hobdey has experienced some major health concerns throughout her life and I'm grateful that she shows the shockingly reductive way women are often spoken to by supposed mental health professionals, and doctors in general. She also articulates the disdain held for anyone who questions treatment, or wishes to research alternatives, and I would like to extend my thanks to Carolyn for pointing out that this is a coping mechanism! Her account also raises long overdue questions about the efficacy of women's health services in general.
I don't really want to give spoilers but there are themes in the book which are undoubtedly more commonplace than public discourse would have us believe. Women don't often open up about porn-addicted partners (how can guys watch with their mates? So gross!), or men who enter into heterosexual marriage then come out as gay further down the line, through misplaced shame and embarrassment. Yes, those men need support too but this is Carolyn's space so my concern lies solely with her at this time.
Overall Hobdey sets out her stall with honesty and integrity and provides the foundation upon which her trilogy shall be built. There's a lot of hurt and heartbreak but Carolyn has approached every hand she's been dealt with humour and grace. I got the sense of this book being a sort of purge and I hope that, now it's out in the world, it frees Carolyn up to concentrate on her other work going forward. I'm looking forward to her next instalment and wish Carolyn every success and happiness in life. She's a warrior.
Hobdey is clear from the outset that the overriding theme of the book concerns the ways in which advice received in childhood can set the template for life. In this case, young Carolyn was told she had to be nicer in order to be loved and accepted. That's quite the burden to put on anyone's shoulders and obviously carries some sinister undertones. The first impact we see this have on her life comes via her first boyfriend, who turns out to be quite the Jekyll and Hyde character.
There is a common thread of disastrous relationships running through the book. I applaud Carolyn's bravery in being so honest about her experiences. My biggest take away is that she illustrates very well how easy it is to fall prey to coercive control, particularly as a younger woman. Hobdey shows us coercive control in action, via anecdotal evidence from her own experience. The importance of this cannot be overstated given recent legislation and the (still widespread) confusion as to what it looks like. I was pleased that she chose to talk specifically about coercive control and narcissism at the end of the book. Hobdey hopes to redefine our understanding of victimhood and I feel strongly that this is long overdue. If this book can open that dialogue, then what an enormous achievement that would be on its own!
Hobdey has experienced some major health concerns throughout her life and I'm grateful that she shows the shockingly reductive way women are often spoken to by supposed mental health professionals, and doctors in general. She also articulates the disdain held for anyone who questions treatment, or wishes to research alternatives, and I would like to extend my thanks to Carolyn for pointing out that this is a coping mechanism! Her account also raises long overdue questions about the efficacy of women's health services in general.
I don't really want to give spoilers but there are themes in the book which are undoubtedly more commonplace than public discourse would have us believe. Women don't often open up about porn-addicted partners (how can guys watch with their mates? So gross!), or men who enter into heterosexual marriage then come out as gay further down the line, through misplaced shame and embarrassment. Yes, those men need support too but this is Carolyn's space so my concern lies solely with her at this time.
Overall Hobdey sets out her stall with honesty and integrity and provides the foundation upon which her trilogy shall be built. There's a lot of hurt and heartbreak but Carolyn has approached every hand she's been dealt with humour and grace. I got the sense of this book being a sort of purge and I hope that, now it's out in the world, it frees Carolyn up to concentrate on her other work going forward. I'm looking forward to her next instalment and wish Carolyn every success and happiness in life. She's a warrior.
January 17, 2021
I was initially drawn to this book expecting it to be at least slightly humorous and light hearted - it's not.
Hobdey has a terrible writing style - incredibly stilted and lacking any sort of flow. Perhaps a ghostwriter would have been able to make this a more interesting read?
Initially I felt a rush of sympathy for the author, due to her experiences growing up amongst her unsympathetic family as well as her awful relationships as a young woman. However, this was lost when she repeatedly has affairs and blames her betrayals on her husband. Eventually, he makes a revelation which explains her frustration and unhappiness, but it still does not excuse her horrendous behaviour as well as the flippant way she is boastful of it. This is also seen in her relationship with Connor who she treats terribly (despite ample opportunities to end the relationship, she stays with him for 7 years until he is no longer useful to her). Her behaviour in these relationships is cruel and manipulative - the men both behave terribly too to be clear - yet she repeatedly views herself as a victim. She doesn't take any responsibility for her own actions and comes across as a thoroughly selfish individal in this section of the book.
I did, once again, feel sympathy when she discusses her relationship with Simon. The experience shows just how easy it is to end up in an abusive relationship without realising what is happening and also how difficult it can be to get out, even when you have a good support network. I was disappointed by the ending of the book as it was extremely rushed. It would have been interesting to have a few pages detailing what has happened since and it would also have been a perfect opportunity to mention help available for those in abusive relationships.
Overall - very slow, poor writing style, rushed ending and the author doesn't seem to be a particularly nice person. I can't recommend.
Thanks to Filament Publishing and NetGalley for the ARC.
Hobdey has a terrible writing style - incredibly stilted and lacking any sort of flow. Perhaps a ghostwriter would have been able to make this a more interesting read?
Initially I felt a rush of sympathy for the author, due to her experiences growing up amongst her unsympathetic family as well as her awful relationships as a young woman. However, this was lost when she repeatedly has affairs and blames her betrayals on her husband. Eventually, he makes a revelation which explains her frustration and unhappiness, but it still does not excuse her horrendous behaviour as well as the flippant way she is boastful of it. This is also seen in her relationship with Connor who she treats terribly (despite ample opportunities to end the relationship, she stays with him for 7 years until he is no longer useful to her). Her behaviour in these relationships is cruel and manipulative - the men both behave terribly too to be clear - yet she repeatedly views herself as a victim. She doesn't take any responsibility for her own actions and comes across as a thoroughly selfish individal in this section of the book.
I did, once again, feel sympathy when she discusses her relationship with Simon. The experience shows just how easy it is to end up in an abusive relationship without realising what is happening and also how difficult it can be to get out, even when you have a good support network. I was disappointed by the ending of the book as it was extremely rushed. It would have been interesting to have a few pages detailing what has happened since and it would also have been a perfect opportunity to mention help available for those in abusive relationships.
Overall - very slow, poor writing style, rushed ending and the author doesn't seem to be a particularly nice person. I can't recommend.
Thanks to Filament Publishing and NetGalley for the ARC.
January 26, 2021
I received an early copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher, Filament Publishing for this opportunity!
The title of this book says it all and drew me in with a chuckle. I just knew after reading the title and then reading the synopsis of the book describing all of the horrible dates, attempting to live up to parents' expectations, and references to "...Bridget Jones, but you want something with a bit more grit". Carolyn Hobdey did an excellent job sticking to all of the above and more.
Goodness, when the book began my heart just went out to the author from the start with the pressures of not being nice enough for her parents' approval, the boyfriends she encountered, and the marriage she describes. I clamped my hand over my mouth on several occasions when she describes all that she endured on horrible dates and with horrible boyfriends. I found it to be a poignant account of all that Carolyn had been through to write and tell us exactly how she felt in each moment. I mostly found a kinship with her during her fertility struggles and within her descriptions of her HR career. I, too have had fertility struggles and am currently meandering my way through an HR career. So, being able to laugh and cry right along with her were touching moments within the book.
Even with all of that sadness, love, and grit, I found myself cheering her on with each page and delighting in her success within her career and starting her own business. To me, this novel was more about discussing all of the tw*ts of the world, which had to be done, but of the power of lifting yourself above it and working with what you have. I really enjoyed the book and am again so thankful for the opportunity to have read it.
The title of this book says it all and drew me in with a chuckle. I just knew after reading the title and then reading the synopsis of the book describing all of the horrible dates, attempting to live up to parents' expectations, and references to "...Bridget Jones, but you want something with a bit more grit". Carolyn Hobdey did an excellent job sticking to all of the above and more.
Goodness, when the book began my heart just went out to the author from the start with the pressures of not being nice enough for her parents' approval, the boyfriends she encountered, and the marriage she describes. I clamped my hand over my mouth on several occasions when she describes all that she endured on horrible dates and with horrible boyfriends. I found it to be a poignant account of all that Carolyn had been through to write and tell us exactly how she felt in each moment. I mostly found a kinship with her during her fertility struggles and within her descriptions of her HR career. I, too have had fertility struggles and am currently meandering my way through an HR career. So, being able to laugh and cry right along with her were touching moments within the book.
Even with all of that sadness, love, and grit, I found myself cheering her on with each page and delighting in her success within her career and starting her own business. To me, this novel was more about discussing all of the tw*ts of the world, which had to be done, but of the power of lifting yourself above it and working with what you have. I really enjoyed the book and am again so thankful for the opportunity to have read it.
June 21, 2021
All The Tw*ts I Met Along The Way tells Carolyn Hobdey’s tales from her teenage years until her 40's of awful boyfriends, sickening sexual encounters, manipulative men, love triangles, affairs, unsupportive and unsupported medical diagnoses of early menopause. From porn-addicted boyfriends who turn from fit into owners of ‘dad bods,’ to her husband being in a car crash and having a boob job.
Eventually when she does marry, it become as marriage to a man who is more like a brother (and who came out eventually as gay after their 15-year relationship). Later on there is a relationship with a man and his ‘ready-made family’ that exposes a case of coercive control and narcissism.
This book reads more like a novel rather than a memoir. It's certainly an interesting read and quite an eye-opener with regards to her final relationship - I could see what type of personality he had before she even declared it. It's a brave read of her dealing with the relationships, juggling her HR job and family commitments.
I didn't like the bits where she referred back to herself as a child trying to be good - it seemed unnecessary, though I understand it's point as she doesn't feel good enough. There are lots of use of brackets during the memoir, which always drives me round the bend when I see it in print.
Also I'm not sure if the published version has this - I had an ARC - but the epilogue is after the author's note. If I'd not read the note then I would have missed it altogether.
I received this book from Netgalley in return for an honest review.
Eventually when she does marry, it become as marriage to a man who is more like a brother (and who came out eventually as gay after their 15-year relationship). Later on there is a relationship with a man and his ‘ready-made family’ that exposes a case of coercive control and narcissism.
This book reads more like a novel rather than a memoir. It's certainly an interesting read and quite an eye-opener with regards to her final relationship - I could see what type of personality he had before she even declared it. It's a brave read of her dealing with the relationships, juggling her HR job and family commitments.
I didn't like the bits where she referred back to herself as a child trying to be good - it seemed unnecessary, though I understand it's point as she doesn't feel good enough. There are lots of use of brackets during the memoir, which always drives me round the bend when I see it in print.
Also I'm not sure if the published version has this - I had an ARC - but the epilogue is after the author's note. If I'd not read the note then I would have missed it altogether.
I received this book from Netgalley in return for an honest review.
February 8, 2022
Finding love can be an uphill battle, especially as we learn to love ourselves.
Carolyn Hobdey was told at a young age that if she wasn't nicer, no one would love her and she would be alone. These words were a driving force throughout her life and relationships with family, friends and significant others. These simple words compelled her to always try and be agreeable, "nice," and do whatever it took to keep others happy, often to her disadvantage as she pushed her own happiness aside for the sake of others. This ill advice led to many scary situations and heartache for Carolyn as she fell in love with many twats, as she now calls them. From bad boyfriends, closeted husbands, medical horrors and learning to take back her life and power, Carolyn Hobdey bares all in this honest, funny at times, and brilliant memoir that will have you holding on to every word.
I found Carolyn very relatable, as we all struggle at times with our own self-image and most of us have maybe held on a little too long to someone simply because we loved them and didn't want to pick up the pieces after yet another heartbreak. I found her to be very open and honest, even in situations that may not paint her in the best light in some people's eyes. The biggest thing I took away from this book was how important it is to love yourself enough to know how you deserve to be treated and to settle for nothing less.
Carolyn Hobdey was told at a young age that if she wasn't nicer, no one would love her and she would be alone. These words were a driving force throughout her life and relationships with family, friends and significant others. These simple words compelled her to always try and be agreeable, "nice," and do whatever it took to keep others happy, often to her disadvantage as she pushed her own happiness aside for the sake of others. This ill advice led to many scary situations and heartache for Carolyn as she fell in love with many twats, as she now calls them. From bad boyfriends, closeted husbands, medical horrors and learning to take back her life and power, Carolyn Hobdey bares all in this honest, funny at times, and brilliant memoir that will have you holding on to every word.
I found Carolyn very relatable, as we all struggle at times with our own self-image and most of us have maybe held on a little too long to someone simply because we loved them and didn't want to pick up the pieces after yet another heartbreak. I found her to be very open and honest, even in situations that may not paint her in the best light in some people's eyes. The biggest thing I took away from this book was how important it is to love yourself enough to know how you deserve to be treated and to settle for nothing less.
February 1, 2021
As I started reading this book, I was curious to find out what Twats she was actually talking about, as you get more into the book you realise that there are many Twats she meets along the way. I really felt as though I could relate to this book, it feels refreshing for women to talk about their problems especially when it is regards to their health. I sympathise with all the medical side of things as I have been there before many times. I wasn't sure if I would get or even like this book, but it really is an eye opener into many different things. I like the fact that she has opened up about good things but also bad things, there is lots going on but it just makes you want to read quicker. This is also the first book in the trilogy so it will be great to see what she gets up to next. This book really stands out to me.
November 19, 2021
I have never wanted to scream at a book so much in my life! A no holds barred memoir which chronicles Carolyn’s relationships.
The book was a real page turner, I thought the conversational style of the writing was perfect for her story. A good mix of humour and some really serious, heavy moments made for a good balance. I am sure the writing process as cathartic and Carolyn probably looked with different eyes at each situation she documented, but I fully understand how, at the time, things can seem so very different.
This is recommended for fans of Bridget Jones – this book is definitely the bigger, grittier sister but I really enjoyed it… if that’s the right word?
TW – eating disorders, infertility, rape, coercive control, emotional abuse, suicidal ideation
The book was a real page turner, I thought the conversational style of the writing was perfect for her story. A good mix of humour and some really serious, heavy moments made for a good balance. I am sure the writing process as cathartic and Carolyn probably looked with different eyes at each situation she documented, but I fully understand how, at the time, things can seem so very different.
This is recommended for fans of Bridget Jones – this book is definitely the bigger, grittier sister but I really enjoyed it… if that’s the right word?
TW – eating disorders, infertility, rape, coercive control, emotional abuse, suicidal ideation
March 3, 2021
A real pageturner. The cover might be a bit misleading, as it shouts "comedy". It's far from that. It's the story of how sexism in childhood can lead a woman to a constant dangerous downward spiral into relationships with no-good-men and a self-destructive lifestyle. The writing style is catchy and the story is very unnerving. It's the story of Carolyn and it's the story of thousands of women all over the world. I found it very hard to get throuh the last part of the book, as it made me so angry. It is not a book meant to evoke compassion. It's a book designed to encourage people in the same situation to get help - and how.
January 21, 2021
Wow! This book! I love the title more than anything in the world!
A super success in business gal can't make a right choice for her private life to save her life. She continually chooses the wrong partner time and time again. Her husband ends up coming out gay after they divorce, which explains a lot after the revelation. Starts dating a rebound guy only to find a guy with a ready made family. Conception has been an edgy topic for her in the past. Things with the new man start off great, work. is great, his kids love her -- then it all turns... He starts "settling in" and showing his true colors, they move, spend all her money, and she does everything around the house and for the kids. She wakes up, finds out there is someone else and eventually moves on..
It is heartbreaking story about love, loss and success and how it's not all its cracked up to be.
A super success in business gal can't make a right choice for her private life to save her life. She continually chooses the wrong partner time and time again. Her husband ends up coming out gay after they divorce, which explains a lot after the revelation. Starts dating a rebound guy only to find a guy with a ready made family. Conception has been an edgy topic for her in the past. Things with the new man start off great, work. is great, his kids love her -- then it all turns... He starts "settling in" and showing his true colors, they move, spend all her money, and she does everything around the house and for the kids. She wakes up, finds out there is someone else and eventually moves on..
It is heartbreaking story about love, loss and success and how it's not all its cracked up to be.
June 7, 2021
This book is a brave and inspiring memoir about a woman who has one disastrous relationship after another. Despite this, the author continues to bounce back, time after time. 'The title "All the Twats I Met Along the Way" sums up this book perfectly and I love it! There were a few typos and grammatical errors in the second half of the book which got a bit irritating, but that aside, the positive outlook the author has and the honesty in which she writes is rather refreshing
January 19, 2021
A searingly honest account of one woman's journey through from childhood to early middle age, and the twats who taught her on the way.
By turns laugh out loud funny and tear jerking, this is a great book for any woman who's dated the wrong man.
By turns laugh out loud funny and tear jerking, this is a great book for any woman who's dated the wrong man.
January 27, 2021
An amazing story of the impact of toxic relationships and personal challenges extremely well written. Carolyn's personality shines through the writing as well as her strength to come through everything with an astonishingly positive outlook. Highly recommended!
January 31, 2021
Wow I read this book in 24hrs I couldn't put it down. Carolyn really been through the ringer and had some exhausting and devastating issues to conquer, all whilst continuing in a senior position and being bullied by her boss.
Cannot wait for the next book.
Carolyn is a true inspiration
Cannot wait for the next book.
Carolyn is a true inspiration
March 17, 2021
I’ve just finished this book and I absolutely loved it. So many parallels to my own life and it made me feel I’m not alone. Thank you so much for a fantastic read!
August 15, 2021
It took me two days to read this book, I enjoyed it and couldn't put it down. A very honest account of relationships, family and work. I will definitely be reading the next two.
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