Enough About Me: The Unexpected Power of Selflessness

by Richard Lui

Enough About Me equips you with practical tools to find meaning and compassion in even the smallest of everyday choices.

What if your path to a more successful, healthy, and satisfying life is actually not about you?

When his father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, Richard Lui did something tough. The award-winning news anchor decided to set aside his growing career to care for family. Selflessness, however, did not come easily. So, Richard set out to explore why he struggled.

In every decision, big and small, Lui discovered hidden opportunities to put others ahead of himself. Similar to training physical muscles, we must train our decision-making muscles to choose others over ourselves in order to have unexpected smiles and renewed balance in our lives.

From a journalist's point of view, he digs into and shares stories from his seven-year "selfless" exploration. Lui shares practical tips, tools, and mnemonics learned along the way to help shift the way we think and live:
• Selfless decision methods and practices for work, home, relationships, and community
• Studies and research which show the personal benefits of being selfless
• A pragmatic debate on whether selflessness is even possible
• Practical, bite-sized ways to be selfless
• Entertaining and shareable stories to inspire you to selflessness

Lui ultimately shares how small choices toward selflessness are not a compromise, but instead a way to a more satisfying life. Choice by choice, step by step, the path to a more satisfying and fulfilling journey is right here in the people around us.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Memoir, Audiobook, Inspirational

256 pages, Hardcover

Published March 23, 2021

Reviews

[Cassie · Rating 3 out of 5]

A solid 3. When I first heard about it, I got under the impression that it was a memoir... and in reality is much more in the self-help category. That was honestly a disappointment to me. I don't seek those books out, and would have enjoyed more of a personal angle. As a follower of Jesus, and believer in the Bible, much of this book felt hollow - lots of ideas and principles tossed out, like an eager store clerk; try this, try this, maybe this will work. I don't deny there were some good ideas in there, and truth was shared. But, it wasn't satisfying.

As a side note: He cited a large amount of, and wide variety of, research studies throughout. While very interesting, without myself researching these studies, it was hard to be sold on sometimes very conclusively/firmly stated principles from studies I have very little info on. How big was the sample size? What were the controls? Was this confirmed by other studies? Sometimes it came across as though he drew a very big conclusion from a very small study - not a lot of evidence, you know?

Again, overall - interesting read, some good ideas, and some truth shared. But I also know that I am unable to "fix" myself. I need God's help to change, and no amount of good ideas will shift that.

[Mbgirl · Rating 5 out of 5]

In my best dream, I would be married to such a quality individual as this, a man who considers much much beyond what’s before him.

Part memoir, part self-help, part something else… and I’m wholly head over heels!

Dawkins’ Selfish Gene has sat on our family home’s bookshelf for decades. I appreciated his points around it as well, his mention of Mother T and the Missionaries of Charity.

The exploration of his popo and him living together, neither speaking the other’s language, making boring boiled chicken once a week—- that was profoundly touching.

And the children taking turns reading Dad’s favorite Bible passages…

Awesome way to give props to his Mother and her difficult, difficult childhood. Made me cry..

[Brandi · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a good, light read; the writer is funny and charming. Reading this book made me see selflessness as a way to connect more with people from all backgrounds and in more creative ways with strangers, or friends and family you've known for years. If you're an extrovert like myself, this book seemed like a fun activity book to try in real life, it may be more challenging for more introverted personalities.

[Carol N · Rating 2 out of 5]

Like several other readers, I, too, didn’t get much more than halfway through this book. I gave up, this book is not what I expected it to be, a son’s memoir about caring for his aging parent featuring some bits of wisdom that would help others sacrificing for their loved ones Mr. Lui is not his father’s primary caregiver. He lives in New York; his dad lives in California, so there is staff involved, his mother and his siblings. I have several friends who have struggled with taking on the task of primary caregiver. When I read Lui’s situation, I was disappointed. How dare he be so bold with his words? He did not quit his job, or move his household, he simply supplied the money to support his father’s needs, not all caregivers have that advantage.

[DW · Rating 2 out of 5]

Blech. The lame jokes made it barely readable. A weird mix of study data and anecdotes from his life as a reporter.

Only interesting facts:
- "Paper sons" are those who entered the US claiming to be children of Chinese Americans after records were destroyed in the San Francisco fire of 1906.
- The same photo looks more attractive if you know the person is selfless.
- Generally volunteering enhances your health, but people over 55 who volunteered "predominantly to enhance yourself or for similar self-oriented reasons" had an increased likelyhood of dying earlier even compared to those who don't volunteer. (p49)

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

The longer I was successful in fighting for my father to live, the longer my career would be slowed. But I didn't realize that my life would also change in ways I couldn't have previously imagined. This book is and exploration of that change and what it taught me ... It's a halftime review. From the past – what have I done and what have I learned? For the future – what will I have to do and what I might learn? ... So here I am - writing an anti-self-help self–help book. pp 9-10

As I weighed the pros and cons of living my career to care for my dad, I remembered the hard-learned lesson from long ago: what happens off camera is more important than what happens on camera. p7

Being ordinary can be extra ordinary. Live off camera. p 11

The late-19th-century English professor Herbert Spencer coined the phrase "survival of the fittest," ...He didn't value protecting the week. p 15

people may look selfless, but they are hiding self interest under a veneer of virtue. p 19

The five D's of bystander intervention," developed by the Southern Poverty Law Center: Direct [someone away from talking to his friend], Distract, Delegate, Delay, Document. These are all actions, but not the traditional all or nothing choices I a grown-up operating from. p 21

The American biologist and philosopher Michael Ghiselin bluntly and concisely expressed this duality: "Scratch and 'altruist' and watch a hypocrite bleed." p 19

Among people who actually know and interact with each other, the perception of physical attractiveness is based largely on traits that cannot be detected from physical appearance alone ...being seen as a selfless person has the potential to double how attractive the people around us see us without changing anything at all about our appearance. p 42

Stony Brook University professor Steven Post found that the giving of oneself increases health benefits in people – even those with chronic illnesses p 48

Those fifty-five and older who volunteered for two or more organizations were 44% less likely to die over a five-year period than non-volunteers, according to a 1999 study led by Dan Oman of the University of California, Berkeley (Go, Bears!). And the more selfless the fifty-five-and-older group was, they had; they also experience better lung function. I'm going out to help others was even healthier than exercising four times a week. ... It's not merely the act of volunteering that's beneficial; we also need to put our heart into it. If you volunteered for selfless reasons, you live longer. Conversely, in their fifty-five-plus group, if you volunteer predominantly to enhance your self or for similar self oriented reasons, it had a negative impact. p 49


Money affects happiness too. ... That's why sociologists and scientists been trying to figure out how to buy happiness for a long time. And if they could figure it out, they might be indirectly buying more years of life. Some smart folks from the University of Virginia in Purdue University cross-referenced the earnings and life satisfaction of 1.7 million people in 164 countries and came up with an answer. For individuals without kids, the level where income was believed to be ideal for "life satisfaction," the "Ah, that is all I need" point is $95,000. If you're targeting emotional well-being specifically, you get that for between 60,000 and $75000. Interestingly, when we make more money than the average saturation point of $95,000, no major increase in happiness (or sadness) occurs. p 52

By the way, the stuff that causes this "feeling happier" experience has a name – phenylethylamine. It's the same hormone triggered by eating chocolate, doing something selfless, or taking the methamphetamine Ecstasy. ... In many ways, if we can get a chocolate feeling, we could be extending our life. p 53

you can tell a lot about people by how they treat those they have power over. p 56

"How others treat the CEO says nothing," wrote Del Jones in USA Today. "But how others treat the waiter is like a magical window into the soul." From my vantage point across the table, I learned that my coworker's kindness was conditional on whether or not it benefited him. He didn't understand that everything matters – that who he is in the routine moments with everyday people is, in fact, who he really is. p 57

Richard's "Parable of the Three Plants":

That was me after I was fired. I had nothing. All of a sudden, the cupboards were empty. Only it wasn't all of a sudden. The cupboards of my life have been emptied long ago. By me. [New Paragraph] So began a crash course in learning not to put all my marbles in one jar, all my eggs in one basket, all my sangria in one picture. I later came up with my own metaphor for maintaining diversity and balance in life, which was to "water three plants." It occurred to me that most things that matter in life are like plants which means they require the essentials of growth – fertilization, sunlight, and daily watering. [New Paragraph] my Mrs. fields days, I had just one plant. Something like that happens to many of us. We get all of ourselves to one thing, such as a job, a relationship, a cause. Then we wake up one day to discover that our one thing is gone, and we have no other plants in the garden. It's OK to prioritize some plants over others – career, sports, volunteering, family, what have you – but I found I had to have at least three healthy plants to maintain a diversified, balanced life. p 66

Sunday, we have at least three parts of our lives we are nurturing and growing – some more and some less than the others. And should anyone of them go away or die, we still have two others cultivated and growing. [New Paragraph] Who knows - one of our two smaller plants (side gigs) could someday become our main plant. And to that point, small plant makes the main plant more successful, and at some point the small plant will have its day and be the main plant. p 67

At any given point, we typically only have five people in our inner circle. That's five close friends out of his many is 150 total connections (casual friends). But the acid test is this: would any of the 150 ever help you move? pp 78-79

My mom had taught me the "rule of three." See what you think – try three times – and if the other person doesn't understand or accept it, move on. And it's OK to move on. p 85

Although self-care and self-love had its benefits, after many decades of perfecting the art of me and some, we've become too good at it. p 93

There are actually many studies suggesting random acts of kindness can quite significantly increase well-being, especially if you do around 5 or more in a day p 94

We are biologically designed to be social and think of others, and our brains are wired to connect with one another. So it makes sense that when the brain is at rest, it's focused on thinking about, mulling over, and processing our interactions with other people. [New Paragraph] The dorsomedial prefrontal cortex (the "CEO of the social brain," according to Lieberman) lights up when we are at rest, as well as when we are explicitly thinking about others. p 103

The size of the neocortex (the outer most layer of our brain) relative to the rest of the brain varies according to the size of one's community or social group. I guess we can conclude that as we increase our community, we also get smarter. p 104

MRI tests found that conservatives have larger amygdalas (excuse my language), the part of the brain linked to emotion, while progressives have bigger anterior cingulates (NSFW), the part of the brain link to feelings of optimism. p 114

The Canadian Red Cross says, "If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof over your head and a place to sleep, then you are richer than 75% of this world." And, "If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace, then you are among the top 8 percent of the world's wealthy." p 116

So how do we begin to make the kind of cross-group connections that break down barriers and prejudice? Here's one idea: make a list of three people you've never hang out with. Folks you don't see in your circles, folks you don't much like, folks you want to avoid. Be honest with yourself. Don't be politically correct. Put these three people on a list. Now figure out a way to have lunch with them. When these three lunches have been completed, make a list of another three. pp 124-125

The "us versus them" dynamic causes the brain to operate differently. When a person feels threatened, it's impossible for them to also feel curious. Their hypervigilant state makes it hard to process new information. During the threat, people feel the need to defend themselves and attack the others. ... "When our curiosity is triggered, we are less likely to fall prey to confirmation bias (looking for information that supports our beliefs, rather than for evidence suggesting we are wrong) and the stereotyping people," wrote behavioral scientist Francesca Gino in the Harvard business review. "Curiosity has these positive effects because it leads us to generate alternatives." pp 126-128

Aristotle was himself a great mentor, and he had been mentored by Plato, who was in turn mentored by Socrates. And you might've heard and Aristotle's greatest student, a young Macedonian prince named Alexander. Aristotle might've taught the future king how we can contemplate our neighbors better than ourselves," as he writes in his Ethics. Seeking out moral mentors to spend time with is a key part of growing muscle memory. pp 138-139

If I could do anything in the world right now, what would it be? When I reach the end of my life and look back on this season, is there anything I'd regret not doing? These questions help me identify and be intentional about the selfless stuff too. p 140

young Americans – they have not been socialized to think about issues of right and wrong, and they simply like the vocabulary for it. p 149

As rhetoric students in college, we were taught to make cases on fax, not our opinion. p 150

To say, "I believe" or "I think" or "I prefer" - unsolicited – we can see the argument. Such phrases, which are referred to as "subjective qualifiers" or "function words," don't help in making a point, even if it's a hot topic of debate, such as taxes. p 150

He [Professor James Pennebaker] reviewed more than 400,000 texts, college essays, romantic messages between lovers, press conference transcripts, and internet chats. He concluded that certain function words reveal a great deal about the speaker. ... [New Paragraph] "Pronouns tell us where people focus their attention. If someone uses the pronoun 'I,' it's a sign of self-focus," Dr. Pennebaker explained. pp 150-151

When someone in a position of power, and educator for example, changes someone's name because they find it inconvenient or challenging to the comfort – through that interaction, they are disrespecting, devaluing who that person is." p 155

The Voice of America pronunciation guide (pronounce.voanews.com) is another great resource for learning how to pronounce non-English names. p 156

Person-first language puts a person before a diagnosis – for example, "people with disabilities" instead of "disabled people "or "a man who walks with crutches "instead of "a cripple man." p 159

Avoid mentioning age first. ... Refer to "people who are older" rather than "old people,""old man " or "old women,""the elderly," or "senior citizens." p 160

Using ten stones ... "mimics the tradeoffs people make in the real world when making choices." pp 161-162

Perfectionism can sometimes lead to high performance, at other times it is "associated with the range of emotional difficulties, including anxiety and depression, eating disorders, fear of intimacy, and dysfunctional thinking," according to researchers. p 164

With her making every day decisions about Jim or a career, we can suffer from decision paralysis. It's not a stretch than that our decisions about pursuing selflessness or vulnerable to the same Melody – especially when looking for selfless selfless people we believe are worthy of emulating. p 164

She [Mother "The Machine" Teresa] was awarded the Nobel peace prize and is one of only eight people in history to be given honorary citizenship by the United States. p 165

Computer programmers use binary code to tell computers what to do. ... In any kind of binary system, there are only two options. p 165 If I were to use a binary approach to make all of my decisions, I never have a job or friends ... My minor review didn't stop at decisions. It was the way I saw people too. You were a one or zero. p 166 Many choices are a combination of both good and bad (like hotdogs, good taste, bad everything else, for example). But I couldn't see the mix. I was by binary. [New Paragraph] having a "10 stones "mindset allows me to accept human beings for who they are – a complex mix of what is simplistically considered kind of inconsiderate, selfless and selfish. Using the "10 stones "method allows me to make decisions in an imperfect world. And to stay away from categorical judgments that would find few ones and leave many zeros behind. p 167

Opportunity to practice avoiding the binary code when I began receiving invitations to speak ... I was honored by the request but worried I disappoint the inviters ... I also wrestled with whether or not, at the heart of it, the speaking opportunities were a chance to be selfish or selfless. [volunteerism is good but it's also a good career move. Six stones in the selfless bucket, four stones in the selfish bucket] ... The "10 stones "method propelled me into volunteering and community work as a broadcast journalist. It got me out of the highchair and into taking responsibility for the gifts and resources I've been given. pp 167-168

For much of his life, he [my dad] was a six-stone man, but his six stones still made an impact. Seeing him that way allowed me to fully love and embrace him as my father and as a good person. But then his stone count changed. [New Paragraph] Whenhe was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, he ... had lost much of his concern about commanding respect. He was concerned about authenticity and love. [New Paragraph] My dad perfectly embodied the truth the transformation is a process, one in which we become progressively more like Christ. Like my dad, I'm not characterized by 10 stones with a trust, Rob, Joy, and humility. It's an ongoing journey, not a destination. What matters is whether or not we are headed in the right direction. p 169

It's [the 10 Stones method] not a system for rating people in order to decide whether or not to spend time with them; it's a way of understanding the people in spending time with Baasch my father included. We are moving forward together, even if it's only one stone at a time. p 170

Using ten stones in decision making isn't a feel-good cover for doing things halfway; it simply acknowledges that I can do something, even if it's not perfect. ... A "ten stones" mindset is a way of making small choices more often. And therefor doing more . . . more often. p 170

He [Richard's dad] was a human vending machine of Scripture. While his kids didn't have the same spiritual regimen (we were, marginally, 4- to 6-stone Christians for sure), each verse somehow moved the ball forward for my dad. He and Mom excepted the reality that their children were on a journey, and our parents were going to get on board and help Pat out the whole way. pp 170-171

A friend who showed their concern by coming in person was upward of 20 percent more effective at reducing stress than a friend who merely sent a supportive text message. p 175

Glancing at the painting [da Vinci's Last Supper] one night, I thought there had to be a reason Leonardo included so many details that related to the food. ... Meals are deliberate ways to love others a we spend hours, sometimes days, preparing. pp 177-178

According to Dr. Paul J. Zak, founding director for the Center for Neuroeconomic Studies, oxytocin is "produced when we are trusted or shown a kindness." Oxytocin is the chemical behind empathy, and repeated studies have found that higher levels of oxytocin mean more empathy. [New Paragraph] The interesting thing is, when we do these acts of kindness, we get hooked. A natural high occurs. Our brain triggers the release of even more oxytocin, which drives our EQ (emotional intelligence). p 180

Additionally, the University of Toronto's Keith Oatley found that engaging with stories in novels improves empathy and theory of mind. p 181

These [paper sons] were Chinese people who illegally immigrated to the United States, using fraudulent documentation to claim they were sons or daughters of Chinese Americans who had US citizenship. p 182

"I'm a storyteller." ... it's probably right up there with "I'm an influencer," or "My brand is . . ." But just because we claim to be storytellers doesn't mean we are. p184

Telling a story is different from building a story. Telling is saying, publishing, delivering the story - which essentially means you're past "building" something and are ready to push it out. Building means making the parts and then piecing together the parts of a story. p 184

Tell the story only you can tell. ... Writing down a story makes it more real. ... Saying it out loud makes it more real. ... Sacred cows are those two or three parts of the story you're convinced are sacred and can't be deleted. ... Show [He clenched his fists] don't tell [He was angry" ... start with your best stuff ... Say what you are seeing ... Muscular verbs are specific, and they typically convey images and actions [sat vs plopped] ... Use shorter sentences. ... It's the way humans talk. ... Just as a porpoise leaps and dives above and below the water, a good story moves back and forth between the big picture and the details, the surface and the deep. Keep moving, and don't stay low or high too long. pp 185-186

great stories "affect behavior after the story has ended: we have put ourselves into the narrative. p 187

"Shaping of our character is, to a great extent, the effect of stories that have captivated us, that have sunk into our bones - stories that 'picture' what we think life is about, what constitutes the 'good life.' We live into the stories we've absorbed; we become characters in the drama that has captivated us. p 188

Telling stories of honesty creates listeners who want to be truthful....What are the stories you want to live into and be shaped by? p 188

Much of my life I've been crafting one story. p 188 [What story have I been crafting?]

well-thought-out stories help us understand people who are significantly unlike us, but they can also help us understand ourselves. p 193

[Summer · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was not what I thought it would be. I thought it would be a memoir of caring for an aging parent and some nuggets of wisdom that came about due to sacrificing so much for a loved one.

First of all, I feel like I have to tell you all that Mr. Lui is not his father's primary caregiver. There is staff involved and his mother and he also has surprisingly helpful siblings. Lui lives in New York and his dad lives in California. I've seen so many people struggle with being the first last and only caregiver that Lui's situation just struck me as being really luxurious. He didn't even have to quit his job or move house or anything, he just "slowed down" at work, which I guess is something. To be clear, it's not a contest and I wish EVERYONE had the money and support Lui does. I think he would want that for others too. I just couldn't help but side eye how boys think they are so special when they do 1% of what girls have done for all time.

That being said, it's a good book, he's a good writer and a good son. Caring for his father is only a small part of this book. He mostly fills the pages with thoughts about selflessness generally and opines on pop psychology. It's a casual read that is mostly enjoyable. If you like to read Psychology Today articles, you'll probably like this book.

The best parts of this book are Lui's personal stories. If he writes an actual memoir, I'll probably read it. I think he's probably a genuinely selfless person and felt that a memoir would be too navel-gazey. He's a good story teller and a good writer.

[Book Reviewer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Richard Liu is an excellent storyteller. He eloquently and enthusiastically tells his story in Enough About Me: The Unexpected Power of Selflessness. His narration style is exceptional, with the reader getting to virtually live through his life. Richard Liu tells of his experiences like they happened yesterday. The words he uses to describe close relations, phrases he uses when describing events, objects, or people he has worked with, and his general tone make you want to interact with him in real life. In his beautifully written book, Richard Liu documents his life, the journeys he has taken, his highs, lows, good times, challenges, and everything in between.

At the start of the book, Richard Liu takes readers back to the days he worked with Channel News Asia, a significant period in his life. Liu talks about his father and his relationship with other family members. Reading about someone’s life is mesmerizing, as one gets to view life and its experiences in a different light. The author made the reading more attractive by including personal encounters without filtering out what he stumbled upon. The authenticity displayed by Richard Liu is charming and gets the reader excited to move to the next chapter.

More than a dozen personal stories are shared in this intimate book, with life lessons and stories that readers can relate to. The most touching story is about Richard Liu’s father, his battle with Alzheimer’s, and how readers can draw lessons on caregiving and compassion from the story. Richard Liu’s selflessness can be seen in more than one instance. I applaud the author for never giving up on his father and being the caring, loving, and hardworking son every parent strives to have. From this single story, I also learned to be grateful for good health. Having your body function as it should without complications is not something to take for granted. Finally, we also understand that family is essential from Richard Liu’s story.

Enough About Me: The Unexpected Power of Selflessness is filled with inspiring stories and motivation to keep moving. This biographical look into Richard Liu’s life will inspire readers to look beyond themselves and see the good they can do.

[Sid Groeneman · Rating 2 out of 5]

Richard Lui's book is a deeply personal story and an appeal for interpersonal altruism. The author, a rising star in broadcast journalism in New York, tells of his decision to short-circuit his career at MSNBC and NBC News to care for his father in San Francisco who'd contracted Alzheimers. The sacrifices entailed are overridden by the satisfaction received from the gratitude of his family and from the belief that he did the right thing. The book intermixes the account of caring for his immigrant Chinese parents with a plea for others to follow his path by abandoning fame and fortune, if necessary, in exchange for the fulfilling pleasures that come from kindness and service to others. In relating his moving story, Lui provides a number of practical methods and practices for building selflessness vis-a-vis work, home, relationships, and community.

However heroic his choice and sincere his advice, the book failed to resonate with me. Combining a touching story with a self-help manual does not do justice to either. Structurally, moving back and forth between the two objectives often makes the reading feel disjointed. Stylistically, Lui repeatedly (and annoyingly) interjects parenthetical attempts at humor, which often come across as juvenile and mostly fall flat. Last of all, while he cites supportive research on altruism from time to time, it tends to be fragmentary and unconvincing.

From a University of Michigan online newsletter segment about his life that I viewed--Lui is a graduate of Michigan's Ross School of Business--I found him to be a compelling figure with an interesting story. My resulting expectations for the book were disappointed.

[Zibby Owens · Rating 5 out of 5]

After the author's father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, he puts his news career aside to care for his father and family. He started traveling back and forth between New York and California and began thinking about why we help the people we love. The author started realizing he wanted to help another person and began contemplating what "selflessness" means. In this book, he shares stories, tips, and tricks from his selflessness exploration about caring for others and putting them before ourselves. "Enough About Me" looks at the question of, "how do we be more selfless in a day-to-day way?"

I love self-help books, and this self-help book is a kind of anti-self-help book because it's about learning to care for others first. I was struck by the beginning of the book how few people want to be selfless. There was a high percentage of people who felt like they would be giving up too much. I love how the book has different formats. There's a playbook in the back with a guide with fourteen cartoons and data graphics. Just to make it enjoyable. But all the bullet points in the world can't replace one person sharing their hard-won advice and innermost feelings with another. For me, that was the most compelling part of this book.

To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://zibbyowens.com/transcript/ric...

[Bryce · Rating 2 out of 5]

"We've all been cornered by that "I'm a storyteller" guy (let's call him Uncle Ramble) who relays seven loosely tied anecdoteals with no ending. And yet we all have the potential to tell life-changing stories. We just have to work on them, build them, edit them and tell them. Good stories don't come easy." Enough About Me, page 184.

It was odd to read words that so accurately summed up my criticism of this book. Under the guise of telling stories about selflessness Lui mixes in a hodge-podge of loosely connected professional experiences, social science studies and personal personal stories in a way that just doesn't work. There is good content here, but finding it means wading through a lot of information that is not great and constantly asking yourself, this book was supposed to be about selflessness, right? Finding that this book was written with the help of a professional ghostwriter made the organizational failure even more confusing.

The personal stories were by far the strongest part of the narrative. I wonder if the story of the author's family could have been the whole book. The second star is for my appreciation for taking on a topic like selflessness, but the execution doesn't live up to the premise.

[Cole Bare · Rating 5 out of 5]

I gave “Enough About Me” by Richard Lui five stars because I loved how it enlightened my view on today’s society. I liked this book because it talked about what people do to become content, and why it doesn’t work out in the long run. People try to feed the hunger for contentment by doing things for themselves. However, Richard Lui talks about how when you complete selfless acts for other people, you feel a lot better and end up becoming more content than you ever would by doing things for yourself. Richard Lui’s book relates to Foster’s book because Lui talks about immunity, family conflicts, and the complexity of human experiences, which Foster dives into in the book, “How To Read Literature Like A Professor”, and further analyzes these topics in chapters 10, 23, etc. I recommend this book to anyone, because everyone can work on selflessness, and this book is amazing at teaching the reader how to put others first. I believe this book is intended for ages 10+ because it has gun references and vulgar language, but it’s not excessive. This book would would be under the genre, “Self Help”.

[Sarah Street · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked this well enough, though I think I wanted the experience of reading this to be similar to reading The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business (another self-help type book written by a journalist) and it just fell short. This really is part memoir and part anti-self-help self-help. The memoir part was engaging but because of how it's interspersed with the other text and lacked an overall organized through-line, it lacked the impact I think it could have. The selfless stuff was clearly well-researched but I think the over-emphasis on joking by the author kind of took away from the power of the research. I picked up this book because I heard the author on a podcast and thought he was engaging and had a fascinating story to tell. I wish the book had felt that same way.

[Anna Taylor]

I was hoping this talked more about navigating how to work with employer to adjust work plans as care for parents became a critical need. That aspect of Richard's narrative was emphasized in a write up I saw.

It was a bit disappointing in that his employer's personal experience with this need greased the wheels for helping his modified schedule happen. Richard seems to have had little employment conflict as he sought to aid his parents. It speaks well of his employment environment, but is hardly average.

The book has a lot of pop psychology optimistic discussion about the benefits of selflessness. You may find his review of the material engaging and buoying, but it didn't work for me.

[Steph Carr (LiteraryHypeWoman) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tackling selflessness in a self-help book amused me. It seems slightly counterintuitive, and some of the arguments made on the page follow suit. After learning of the benefits of selflessness, does it then become selfish to do things for the improved perception of appearance (which Lui bravely tested with his own photograph) or positive impact on your own health? There is no clear answer there, so please, discuss.
I'm tempted to knock it down to 3.5 stars for the dad jokes, but the message is necessary enough to warrant a full 4 stars.

Full review at: https://literaryhypewoman.com/2021/03...

[Ava · Rating 5 out of 5]

Richard Lui’s Enough About Me feels less like a lecture and more like a conversation with someone who has lived the questions we often avoid. He doesn’t romanticize caregiving, career trade-offs, or the difficult realities of selflessness; instead, he reveals their complexity with humor, clarity, and unvarnished honesty. The stories he shares—from global newsrooms to family living rooms—challenge the idea that self-interest must dominate our choices. Short, sharp, and deeply human, the book reminds us that life’s most significant victories are often invisible to others but transformative to us. It is a gentle yet powerful call to recalibrate.

[Toni Edson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Richard Lui has been a favorite journalist of mine for quite some time but this book has a depth of feeling and the ring of truth pealing from every page like a favorite church bell on a clear morning. I so loved this book, part research, part family memoir and fully personal. I highly recommend this book to everyone, especially those who wonder if small acts of kindness matter in a world tearing itself apart. The answer is yes, yes, yes!

[Linda O’Leary · Rating 3 out of 5]

Audible version. Didn’t get much more than halfway through it. The premise was good, but it seemed to be stated over and over, just using different words: selfless acts are good for you and for those around you. Finally I decided that this entire book could have been encapsulated into an article or a blog post, so much longer than it needed to be. Also, a perfect example of why the author isn’t always the very best choice to narrate their own books. It was just ok, but I couldn’t finish it.

[Lance Weldgen Jr · Rating 2 out of 5]

I love reading many examples of altruism and how it influences us on many layers. However, I could not help but feel like the writing is a copy/paste of many others' works and absence of his deepest thinking. It lacks philosophical thoughts, scriptural insights, and emotional response to the urgency of the need for the altruism. Otherwise, it is nice additional reading on altruism. I would imagine there would be a better book for it. This book would not sit in my library for the reference.

[Kristin Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

Audiobook read by the author.

Insightful, thought provoking, humorous, honest, and inspirational.

This topic would feel like ivory tower suggestions except that Richard is living it out. In spite of the difficulties and personal costs, he has experienced a deeper joy, love, and growth through making selfless choices to help his aging parents.

[Viva Mogi · Rating 5 out of 5]

A thoughtful personal story on a journalist who continues to live in a world of unknowns — world crisis & natural disasters. But the greatest gift was being able to take care of his father experiencing Alzheimer’s. I was completely moved and slowly learning each day to embrace a life of unknowns with grace & compassion.

[Jeanne Cassell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Inspiring easy read about selflessness, and simple steps to develop it. Interesting biographical details about his life as the first Asian-American TV anchor. Gives up his career to care for his father with Alzheimer’s…. and tells of lessons learned. 10 stone method of decision making, very useful! Also a good chapter on gratitude, and one on the use of names.

[Matthew Chua · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great book, told from a very personal perspective on what matters in life. The research and science adds a nice touch of intellectualism to a heartfelt story of growth, relationships, ambition, self-realization, and self-sacrifice. It's easy to get caught up in the rawness of the emotion conveyed by the author.

[AP]

Rambling self-help book about how to live a life of taking care of others, rather than looking out only for yourself. The premise made me pick up this book, but its actual content made me abandon it after listening to the first 4 chapters. I could not continue this book.

[Melinda · Rating 2 out of 5]

There are parts of this book I liked very much--the description of his first audition for MSNBC is hilarious. Overall, it lacked cohesion, and some of the research presented seemed rote.
I finished it despite my misgivings, and was moved by some of the stories with his Dad.

[Nancy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wasn’t sure what to expect of this book. I was pleasantly surprised to read the authors experiences, family relationships, and his journey of faith along with many interesting insights into how to get along with others.

[Lindy Halterman · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was fresh and fun to read as the writer is a news anchor. Pulling in research and studies on selflessness, applicable ways to incorporate and the benefits. Inspiring, helpful, and nice. Would recommend!

[Michelle Jarc · Rating 3 out of 5]

Although this book read slow for me, I truly enjoyed many of the stories Richard shared.

[Johnna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Don't we all need to be a little more selfless? Good reminder of the benefits.

[Melissa Cripps · Rating 4 out of 5]

A solid 3.5 stars (rounding up to 4)
Ironically, it’s a mix of research on selflessness and memoir.