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How to Have an Enemy: Righteous Anger and the Work of Peace
Does Jesus' call to love our enemies mean that we should remain silent in the face of injustice? Jesus called us to love our enemies. But to befriend an enemy, we first have to acknowledge their existence, understand who they are, and recognize the ways they are acting in opposition to God's good news. In How to Have an Righteous Anger and the Work of Peace , Melissa Florer-Bixler looks closely at what the Bible says about enemies--who they are, what they do, and how Jesus and his followers responded to them. The result is a theology that allows us to name our enemies as a form of truth-telling about ourselves, our communities, and the histories in which our lives are embedded. Only then can we grapple with the power of the acts of destruction carried out by our enemies, and invite them to lay down their enmity, opening a path for healing, reconciliation, and unity.
Jesus named and confronted his enemies as an essential part to loving them. In this provocative book, Florer-Bixler calls us to do the same.
Jesus named and confronted his enemies as an essential part to loving them. In this provocative book, Florer-Bixler calls us to do the same.
250 pages, Hardcover
First published July 20, 2021
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534 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 56 reviews
May 5, 2021
It’s common today to hear that “The Way of Jesus” is the path beyond enemies and beyond political division. Laments abound of our putting politics above the Bible. Of course most of these conversations assume an easy binary between the left and right, progressive and conservatives with equal opponents irrationally living in fear of one another.
This book is different.
Melissa Florer-Bixler understands that actual enemies exist. People actually live in enmity against others regardless of whether they can see it, feel it, or intend to do it. Some hold power over others. We tolerate this. We justify this. We gaslight people who express anger over this. And the marginalized continue to suffer under the burden of centrism and third way-ism.
She reveals for us a Jesus who is about the overturning of a socio-economic order that structures enmity in our personal relationships and in the policies that govern the shape of life. Centering the stories of Black, Brown, and Queer people and through robust theological reflection, she helps us name who our actual enemies are; giving praxis for discerning the distinction between difference and enmity; the difference between power-over-others and preferences.
She will surprise some of you by not only addressing the political nature of our interpersonal relationships and practices such as eating meals but also by naming the unsuspected enemies that destroy and harm us such as whiteness, the nuclear family, and mammon.
We struggle to love our enemies because we have communities who resist naming who they are or because they refuse to see and/or renounce how certain ways of life are against those in their own community.
And yet I must say, this book does more than help us imagine how to love an enemy. It gives both imagination and praxis for how to create a different world. Which in all actuality is the best way to love our enemies. We desperately need help to see and discern where the Spirit is at work to crumble ways of organizing life that resist Jesus' promise for an intimate and thriving life together. She does this here.
This book is a must read.
This book is different.
Melissa Florer-Bixler understands that actual enemies exist. People actually live in enmity against others regardless of whether they can see it, feel it, or intend to do it. Some hold power over others. We tolerate this. We justify this. We gaslight people who express anger over this. And the marginalized continue to suffer under the burden of centrism and third way-ism.
She reveals for us a Jesus who is about the overturning of a socio-economic order that structures enmity in our personal relationships and in the policies that govern the shape of life. Centering the stories of Black, Brown, and Queer people and through robust theological reflection, she helps us name who our actual enemies are; giving praxis for discerning the distinction between difference and enmity; the difference between power-over-others and preferences.
She will surprise some of you by not only addressing the political nature of our interpersonal relationships and practices such as eating meals but also by naming the unsuspected enemies that destroy and harm us such as whiteness, the nuclear family, and mammon.
We struggle to love our enemies because we have communities who resist naming who they are or because they refuse to see and/or renounce how certain ways of life are against those in their own community.
And yet I must say, this book does more than help us imagine how to love an enemy. It gives both imagination and praxis for how to create a different world. Which in all actuality is the best way to love our enemies. We desperately need help to see and discern where the Spirit is at work to crumble ways of organizing life that resist Jesus' promise for an intimate and thriving life together. She does this here.
This book is a must read.
May 7, 2021
Melissa writes a profound take, empty of truisms, on what true enemy love means. It does mean overlooking our political differences of the harm they cause one another, but rather interrogating them. Enemy love does not mean allowing the marginalized and the oppressed to relate as if there is nothing between them. Melissa's book is desperately needed for our politically quiet congregations, for the ones that thing that "both sides" need to be at the communion table, and moves us toward a true Christianity that does not compromise justice or prophecy for the sake of making everyone feel good.
She masterfully writes on a wide array of subjects, in a consumable and informative way. She draws in many scholars and experts in this well-cited book. Very much recommended.
She masterfully writes on a wide array of subjects, in a consumable and informative way. She draws in many scholars and experts in this well-cited book. Very much recommended.
May 20, 2021
As political and social tensions continue to intensify in America, the Church seems to continually struggle with how to respond and address this fraught moment. Should Christians simply promote unity in Christ above political differences? Or is there an impetus on the Church to speak up against injustice? While countless sermons, tweets, and books have been written on the subject, I have found few things as helpful as Melissa Florer-Bixler's "How to Have an Enemy." This book is not simply a how-to guide on dealing with righteous anger and enmity, but rather a work that frames a new imagination for social relations as Christians. Florer-Bixler expertly weaves together history, theology, and social theory in a highly accessible way. The book offers a new vocabulary for thinking through enmity and difference in a way that challenges a prevailing both-sideism while not giving into a militant attitude toward the Other. "How to Have an Enemy" is a must read and one I know I'll continue to come back to for years to come.
November 9, 2021
Melissa Florer-Bixler is a writer and Mennonite pastor with degrees from Duke University and Princeton Theological Seminary. (The Mennonite tradition centers peace-making.)
Throughout this book, Florer-Bixler discusses what it means to love our enemies. She shows how loving our enemies does not mean staying silent in the face of injustice. Jesus certainly didn't. She rejects any kind of call for superficial "unity" or a shallow forgiveness without repentance. We are not called to passive acceptance of injustice. Because the Jesus way is about peacemaking, not peacekeeping - this is the way of liberation. She writes, “enemy-love offers to tear apart broken systems and rebuild a world with imaginative architecture that emerges from lives stayed on liberating love” (98).
I appreciated this book and definitely recommend it to others to read as well. It is well written and accessible.
Throughout this book, Florer-Bixler discusses what it means to love our enemies. She shows how loving our enemies does not mean staying silent in the face of injustice. Jesus certainly didn't. She rejects any kind of call for superficial "unity" or a shallow forgiveness without repentance. We are not called to passive acceptance of injustice. Because the Jesus way is about peacemaking, not peacekeeping - this is the way of liberation. She writes, “enemy-love offers to tear apart broken systems and rebuild a world with imaginative architecture that emerges from lives stayed on liberating love” (98).
I appreciated this book and definitely recommend it to others to read as well. It is well written and accessible.
December 11, 2021
This book is not a treatise of any kind, but a transcript of sermons, I believe. I like the topic, but I struggled to finish the book because it is so disjointed. The real-life examples are not readily tied in to chapter titles, for example. It's a slog to figure out the main point of each chapter. I flagged many, many sentences as nonsense--wordy collections of phrases meant to pack a punch, I guess, but unrecognizable jargon to me. Maybe I'm just not up-to-date on "woke" lingo? Anyway, I think the author and editor need a do-over.
March 19, 2022
I don't get it. Hard to understand what her message is, other than just live with it.
June 7, 2021
I discovered I’m really not great at writing reviews for nonfiction books, and honestly I am still processing this one. But I’m here to say that this book was really good (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️) and I hope you’ll read it when it comes out next month!
I found myself highlighting something on every page while reading and thinking often about this book as I went about my day. It’s a frequent topic of conversation on walks with my husband as well.
How to Have an Enemy: Righteous Anger and the Work of Peace is a book I will reread often and recommend to anyone and everyone I know. This book takes a look at what Jesus’ call to enemy love can look like when we abandon a safe and comfortable centrism in favor of aligning with and advocating for the marginalized and oppressed, illustrating how unity for unity’s sake is ultimately harmful and counterproductive to the kingdom of God and the life of the church.
It’s largely a discussion of power and how it’s larger structures affect our interpersonal relationships, particularly within the church. Florer-Bixler issues a challenge to those who opt for silence in the face of injustice as a means of pseudo-peacekeeping. Failure to name our enemies—like white supremacy or an oppressive economy that favors the wealthy—is a failure to be the church as it’s supposed to be.
✨”Tolerance of intolerable difference is a cost born by those at the margins of power.”✨
This book centers the stories of POC and LGBTQ people. It’s a must-read for those in church leadership, and offers a helpful challenge to those of us who tend to be conflict-averse.
For me, Melissa Florer-Bixler is one of the most influential Christian thinkers of our day and I cannot recommend this book enough.
Thank you to Herald Press for the eARC!
I found myself highlighting something on every page while reading and thinking often about this book as I went about my day. It’s a frequent topic of conversation on walks with my husband as well.
How to Have an Enemy: Righteous Anger and the Work of Peace is a book I will reread often and recommend to anyone and everyone I know. This book takes a look at what Jesus’ call to enemy love can look like when we abandon a safe and comfortable centrism in favor of aligning with and advocating for the marginalized and oppressed, illustrating how unity for unity’s sake is ultimately harmful and counterproductive to the kingdom of God and the life of the church.
It’s largely a discussion of power and how it’s larger structures affect our interpersonal relationships, particularly within the church. Florer-Bixler issues a challenge to those who opt for silence in the face of injustice as a means of pseudo-peacekeeping. Failure to name our enemies—like white supremacy or an oppressive economy that favors the wealthy—is a failure to be the church as it’s supposed to be.
✨”Tolerance of intolerable difference is a cost born by those at the margins of power.”✨
This book centers the stories of POC and LGBTQ people. It’s a must-read for those in church leadership, and offers a helpful challenge to those of us who tend to be conflict-averse.
For me, Melissa Florer-Bixler is one of the most influential Christian thinkers of our day and I cannot recommend this book enough.
Thank you to Herald Press for the eARC!
February 1, 2022
A book about peacefulness that packs a punch
“This is a good life: to look out for one another to see the weakest and most vulnerable as necessary for the good life. It’s a good life to forge ahead toward forgiveness in a world that demands revenge. It’s a good life to let go of oppression and to refrain from dominating other people. It’s a good life to seek reconciliation instead of persisting in our rightness or looking for a window to exact retribution.” (p.200)
This is a book about Jesus’ vision for the world. Melissa Florer-Bixler (MFB) writes, with evidence of her Mennonite position, about a way of being that alerts us the ever-present nature of enemies but the need to think creatively about how we interact and behave around them. Despite her commitment to non-violence and peace the book packs a punch. So don’t come for an easy read (although it is well written) but rather a book that will give you plenty of pause for thought and, if you’re like me, more than a little discomfort.
The lack of equality in the world means that if my life is largely without enemy it is likely that I am causing oppression to someone else, so a book like this brings to me of my own need for awareness.
The opening few chapters deal with an awareness of enemies. Inequalities abound in the world so attempts to not have enemies are doomed, rather the challenge is to have enemies “well” and note that many western takes against retribution and justice come from a place of privilege.
Chapter 4 begins to think about how anger is not to be ignored but seen as part of the process towards forgiveness. This is followed by a chapter on Mary wherein her position as model of justice seeking gets lost when we domesticate her within the Christmas story. Chapters 6 and 7 imagine new orders and ways of being, specifically looking at how violence needs to be rejected (actively and passively) while Jesus-followers look at how they restructure their notions of family to build new relationships that are not rooted in old enemy structures.
Chapter 8 shows via a discussion of Jesus and the Pharisees that our enemies often come from close proximity, which of course means that we likely have the ability to work with them on a new peaceful way forward. I note that this chapter positions Jesus outside of the Pharisees, but like many who claim the same it doesn’t really know where to locate Jesus. I still think that if we read Jesus as a member of the Pharisees (although perceived rebelliously) it makes much more sense of so much of his engagements with them in his ministry. Chapter 9 follows the impact of Jesus into the early Church of Acts and how they enact Jesus’ way in the early Christian communities.
Chapters 10 and 11 consider Mammon and Whiteness. I imagine these chapters will be the most “irritating” of the book for many. MFB in her style, which by this point of the book is something that you’ve decided you like or you gave up a while ago, gets straight to the point in both these chapters. I would say that both are prophetic pieces for the church in North America and serve as good introductions to both subjects. Economics and Reconciliation are core gospel issues but in such bad shape amongst the church. But the subjects are huge and MFB serves the church well here with accessible explorations of both.
She rounds the book out with a look at Revelation and its hope for the future end of violence and enemies. I particularly enjoy how she then closes the book with a short sermon that takes one final swipe at, of all things, the notion of survival of the fittest. Instead she posits a view of nature that models working in harmony for all of us.
For my part this book is excellent. It’s introductory, but that’s the sort of thing that is needed on the subject. She provides footnotes to guide you in some further reading if you were hoping for something a little deeper. It’s the sort of book that I could imagine a church small group engaging with and having good discussions, which makes it slightly unfortunate that there isn’t a discussion guide included with the book. But that isn’t to detract from what is a helpful and engaging book.
“This is a good life: to look out for one another to see the weakest and most vulnerable as necessary for the good life. It’s a good life to forge ahead toward forgiveness in a world that demands revenge. It’s a good life to let go of oppression and to refrain from dominating other people. It’s a good life to seek reconciliation instead of persisting in our rightness or looking for a window to exact retribution.” (p.200)
This is a book about Jesus’ vision for the world. Melissa Florer-Bixler (MFB) writes, with evidence of her Mennonite position, about a way of being that alerts us the ever-present nature of enemies but the need to think creatively about how we interact and behave around them. Despite her commitment to non-violence and peace the book packs a punch. So don’t come for an easy read (although it is well written) but rather a book that will give you plenty of pause for thought and, if you’re like me, more than a little discomfort.
The lack of equality in the world means that if my life is largely without enemy it is likely that I am causing oppression to someone else, so a book like this brings to me of my own need for awareness.
The opening few chapters deal with an awareness of enemies. Inequalities abound in the world so attempts to not have enemies are doomed, rather the challenge is to have enemies “well” and note that many western takes against retribution and justice come from a place of privilege.
Chapter 4 begins to think about how anger is not to be ignored but seen as part of the process towards forgiveness. This is followed by a chapter on Mary wherein her position as model of justice seeking gets lost when we domesticate her within the Christmas story. Chapters 6 and 7 imagine new orders and ways of being, specifically looking at how violence needs to be rejected (actively and passively) while Jesus-followers look at how they restructure their notions of family to build new relationships that are not rooted in old enemy structures.
Chapter 8 shows via a discussion of Jesus and the Pharisees that our enemies often come from close proximity, which of course means that we likely have the ability to work with them on a new peaceful way forward. I note that this chapter positions Jesus outside of the Pharisees, but like many who claim the same it doesn’t really know where to locate Jesus. I still think that if we read Jesus as a member of the Pharisees (although perceived rebelliously) it makes much more sense of so much of his engagements with them in his ministry. Chapter 9 follows the impact of Jesus into the early Church of Acts and how they enact Jesus’ way in the early Christian communities.
Chapters 10 and 11 consider Mammon and Whiteness. I imagine these chapters will be the most “irritating” of the book for many. MFB in her style, which by this point of the book is something that you’ve decided you like or you gave up a while ago, gets straight to the point in both these chapters. I would say that both are prophetic pieces for the church in North America and serve as good introductions to both subjects. Economics and Reconciliation are core gospel issues but in such bad shape amongst the church. But the subjects are huge and MFB serves the church well here with accessible explorations of both.
She rounds the book out with a look at Revelation and its hope for the future end of violence and enemies. I particularly enjoy how she then closes the book with a short sermon that takes one final swipe at, of all things, the notion of survival of the fittest. Instead she posits a view of nature that models working in harmony for all of us.
For my part this book is excellent. It’s introductory, but that’s the sort of thing that is needed on the subject. She provides footnotes to guide you in some further reading if you were hoping for something a little deeper. It’s the sort of book that I could imagine a church small group engaging with and having good discussions, which makes it slightly unfortunate that there isn’t a discussion guide included with the book. But that isn’t to detract from what is a helpful and engaging book.
October 8, 2021
There is a misconception that practicing non-violence means being a doormat and letting people walk all over you. Along with that is the misconception that pacifists preach a utopist Gospel that sees everyone as a friend. Neither of these are true and Melissa Florer-Bixler makes that point well in How to Have an Enemy: Righteous Anger and the Work of Peace. The question isn’t whether or no we have enemies, but who our enemies are and how they should be treated.
Florer-Bixler begins by recounting the story of the Christmas Truce in WWI. For the uninitiated, the Christmas Truce is a real event where opposing forces in WWI laid down their weapons to play football (soccer) and sing Christmas carols. Look at how these enemies became friends! But, as Florer-Bixler notes, they picked up arms the next day and returned to war. She then compares this to a church that participated in a communion service on Election Day in America. No matter political leanings or preferred candidates, Christians then came together to be united in Christ. Which sounds good, and it all well-intended. But, she writes, “It turns out this kind of unity—the kind that was achieved in ritual but not replicated in life—was a myth.” Unity is more complicated than that. Indeed, superficial unity usually only serves those in power.
It’s a bold and paradigm-shifting introduction to readers hoping for easy answers or hoping for vindication in righteous anger. She holds the values in tension, rightly noting that a superficial unity is no unity while calling believers to do the hard work of righteous opposition. Love your enemy, after all. As How to Have an Enemy unfolds, Florer-Bixler combines historical anecdotes with contemporary stories. She brings her theories into practicality, writing about division in the evangelical church over issues of healthcare, government, and social justice. She writes from a Mennonite perspective, commonly called the left wing of the Reformation, a group that’s theologically evangelical but not the kind that you see dominating Republican politics. As such, her words about how to handle division and dissention within your own “tribe” are quite important.
Her chapter on “undoing family” is probably the most powerful and contentious that follows that theme of opposing those like you. It’s so important because I’m seeing so many young people be divided from their families and their evangelical upbringings because of their desire to advocate for equality. And yet, “family values” and “the nuclear family” have long been a foundational part of a lot of Christianity. How to Have an Enemy reminds us that following Jesus can undo our closest relationships as we rearrange our priorities to put him first. Jesus is calling people to a new family: “He calls us out of systems of primary loyalty to our kin and binds us to those to whom we have no natural relation and from whom we can extract no economic benefit.” Being a part of God’s kingdom not only challenges ideas about who our enemies are, but who our friends are as well.
How to Have an Enemy is a powerful, convicting book tackling important issues ranging from LGBTQ+ rights to racial reconciliation to economic justice. She moves our idea of “enemy” away from individuals to systems. She calls for us to love those who are our enemies and uphold unjust systems. She asks us to have enemies as Christ would have them: to call them out with prophetic boldness but also pray fervently for their inclusion in the Kingdom. This is a needed message in a world that is weary of fight. Whether it’s COVID, racial justice, or political leanings, the conversation from both sides has become hateful and vitriolic. Florer-Bixler calls us to do better, to be angry in Christlike fashion, and do the hard work to bring peace.
Florer-Bixler begins by recounting the story of the Christmas Truce in WWI. For the uninitiated, the Christmas Truce is a real event where opposing forces in WWI laid down their weapons to play football (soccer) and sing Christmas carols. Look at how these enemies became friends! But, as Florer-Bixler notes, they picked up arms the next day and returned to war. She then compares this to a church that participated in a communion service on Election Day in America. No matter political leanings or preferred candidates, Christians then came together to be united in Christ. Which sounds good, and it all well-intended. But, she writes, “It turns out this kind of unity—the kind that was achieved in ritual but not replicated in life—was a myth.” Unity is more complicated than that. Indeed, superficial unity usually only serves those in power.
It’s a bold and paradigm-shifting introduction to readers hoping for easy answers or hoping for vindication in righteous anger. She holds the values in tension, rightly noting that a superficial unity is no unity while calling believers to do the hard work of righteous opposition. Love your enemy, after all. As How to Have an Enemy unfolds, Florer-Bixler combines historical anecdotes with contemporary stories. She brings her theories into practicality, writing about division in the evangelical church over issues of healthcare, government, and social justice. She writes from a Mennonite perspective, commonly called the left wing of the Reformation, a group that’s theologically evangelical but not the kind that you see dominating Republican politics. As such, her words about how to handle division and dissention within your own “tribe” are quite important.
Her chapter on “undoing family” is probably the most powerful and contentious that follows that theme of opposing those like you. It’s so important because I’m seeing so many young people be divided from their families and their evangelical upbringings because of their desire to advocate for equality. And yet, “family values” and “the nuclear family” have long been a foundational part of a lot of Christianity. How to Have an Enemy reminds us that following Jesus can undo our closest relationships as we rearrange our priorities to put him first. Jesus is calling people to a new family: “He calls us out of systems of primary loyalty to our kin and binds us to those to whom we have no natural relation and from whom we can extract no economic benefit.” Being a part of God’s kingdom not only challenges ideas about who our enemies are, but who our friends are as well.
How to Have an Enemy is a powerful, convicting book tackling important issues ranging from LGBTQ+ rights to racial reconciliation to economic justice. She moves our idea of “enemy” away from individuals to systems. She calls for us to love those who are our enemies and uphold unjust systems. She asks us to have enemies as Christ would have them: to call them out with prophetic boldness but also pray fervently for their inclusion in the Kingdom. This is a needed message in a world that is weary of fight. Whether it’s COVID, racial justice, or political leanings, the conversation from both sides has become hateful and vitriolic. Florer-Bixler calls us to do better, to be angry in Christlike fashion, and do the hard work to bring peace.
February 24, 2022
I listened to this as a recorded book on Audible, read by the author. I appreciate Florer-Bixler's commitment to people over power. There are political implications to this. I frequently found myself cringing, thinking, "Ooh, that would not fly with lots of people I know who think of themselves as followers of Jesus." That's an uncomfortable but probably necessary feeling. I am not finished thinking about this book. Why not 5 stars? I would need to read it a couple of times--maybe at least once in the company of other believers to confidently rate it. But if you're asking, should I read it? Yes, if you think of yourself as a follower of Jesus (or are just curious) read it.
March 20, 2024
Was really challenged by this one. Florer-Bixler takes on the idea of enemies: who are they? How do we love them? What are differences to be tolerated and what are lines to draw? This takes you far beyond the three tiers of belief into something far more profound, convicting, and liberating. Highly recommend.
January 19, 2023
Beautifully written but not quite what I was expecting. I wanted practical and this is more hopeful. Still a good read.
March 2, 2021
Melissa Florer-Bixler is a writer and pastor with degrees from Duke University and Princeton Theological Seminary. Her ministry at Raleigh Mennonite Church has been featured in The Atlantic and Sojourners.
With "How to Have an Enemy: Righteous Anger and the Work of Peace," Florer-Bixler calls us into living more like Jesus did by naming and confronting our enemies as an essential part to loving them.
Florer-Bixler becomes the latest contemporary theological writer whose work I've largely followed through social media before I've first set my eyes on their writings. While I had a strong sense that my own theological views were in line with those of Florer-Bixler, partly because of that social media presence and partly because we share a history in historic peace churches (mine being Church of the Brethren), the truth is that I'm not sure I was prepared for the power of Florer-Bixler's theology and the words she lays down in "How to Have an Enemy."
The foundation of "How to Have an Enemy" lies in the central question "Does Jesus' call to love our enemies mean that we should remain silent in the face of injustice?"
There are a myriad of ways to approach this question whether it be through the lens of racism or the church's long-standing discrimination against the LGBTQ community or the church's failure to address violence in its midst or in a myriad of other ways.
It's a personal question. It's a universal question. It's a vital question.
For Florer-Bixler, it begins with the acknowledgement that, yes, indeed Jesus does call us to love our enemies. It's a seemingly lofty call that Florer-Bixler richly humanizes. As Florer-Bixler explains, to even begin to love our enemies, we first have to acknowledge their existence, understand who they are, and recognize the ways they are acting in opposition to God's good news.
In "How to Have an Enemy," Florer-Bixler examines closely what the Bible says about enemies - —who they are, what they do, and how Jesus and his followers responded to them.
It's what Florer-Bixler does next that makes "How to Have an Enemy" such a powerful book. Florer-Bixler's resulting theology is one that allows us to name our enemies, honoring our histories and cycles and traumas, as a form of truth-telling about ourselves, our communities, and the histories in which our lives are embedded.
It is through doing this that we can begin to grapple with the power of the acts of destruction perpetuated by our enemies, whether a single incident or a seemingly insurmountable cycle, and invite them to lay down their enmity in an effort to open the path for healing, reconciliation, and unity.
Florer-Bixler doesn't simplify the journey. Not at all. She doesn't pretend that there's a magic wander that will cure all of our hurts and societal ills. Instead, she creates a path for unity by writing of a community that stands in the gap with one another and truly bears one another burdens while moving toward healing, reconciliation, and unity.
Florer-Bixler identifies clearly that Jesus did, indeed, have enemies and so will we. It's how we have enemies that allows us to live more like Jesus as we seek to live and love another way.
"How to Have an Enemy: Righteous Anger and the Work of Peace" is written with a rhythm of life and passion and it felt at times as if I was in the pulpit listening to Florer-Bixler preach these words. At times, I found myself having to read them over because what Florer-Bixler writes so accessibly is actually so incredibly rich and profound. It does help, I would say, to have some foundation of biblical understanding and a theological background as Florer-Bixler weaves into the tapestry of her writing biblical stories and testimonies and an abundance of Scripture. However, she writes so beautifully that I found myself caught up in her use of language and her ability to make complex theological concepts quite understandable.
If I had any minor concern with "How to Have an Enemy," it would be the lack of mention of the disability community when she so often refers to those communities hurt by the church and hurt by society. I found multiple places within the text where such a reference easily fit and it seems a lacking of the book that those with disabilities are set aside here.
However, this is a fairly minor quibble given the richness of the text and the challenging issues that Florer-Bixler does choose to address. Let's face it. You can't address them all.
Destined to be one of my favorite Christian writings of 2021 I'm sure, "How to Have an Enemy: Righteous Anger and the Work of Peace" does, indeed, affirm that my own theology is very much aligned with that of Florer-Bixler and I marvel at her ability to intelligently and compassionately tackle a difficult subject with understanding and grace.
With "How to Have an Enemy: Righteous Anger and the Work of Peace," Florer-Bixler calls us into living more like Jesus did by naming and confronting our enemies as an essential part to loving them.
Florer-Bixler becomes the latest contemporary theological writer whose work I've largely followed through social media before I've first set my eyes on their writings. While I had a strong sense that my own theological views were in line with those of Florer-Bixler, partly because of that social media presence and partly because we share a history in historic peace churches (mine being Church of the Brethren), the truth is that I'm not sure I was prepared for the power of Florer-Bixler's theology and the words she lays down in "How to Have an Enemy."
The foundation of "How to Have an Enemy" lies in the central question "Does Jesus' call to love our enemies mean that we should remain silent in the face of injustice?"
There are a myriad of ways to approach this question whether it be through the lens of racism or the church's long-standing discrimination against the LGBTQ community or the church's failure to address violence in its midst or in a myriad of other ways.
It's a personal question. It's a universal question. It's a vital question.
For Florer-Bixler, it begins with the acknowledgement that, yes, indeed Jesus does call us to love our enemies. It's a seemingly lofty call that Florer-Bixler richly humanizes. As Florer-Bixler explains, to even begin to love our enemies, we first have to acknowledge their existence, understand who they are, and recognize the ways they are acting in opposition to God's good news.
In "How to Have an Enemy," Florer-Bixler examines closely what the Bible says about enemies - —who they are, what they do, and how Jesus and his followers responded to them.
It's what Florer-Bixler does next that makes "How to Have an Enemy" such a powerful book. Florer-Bixler's resulting theology is one that allows us to name our enemies, honoring our histories and cycles and traumas, as a form of truth-telling about ourselves, our communities, and the histories in which our lives are embedded.
It is through doing this that we can begin to grapple with the power of the acts of destruction perpetuated by our enemies, whether a single incident or a seemingly insurmountable cycle, and invite them to lay down their enmity in an effort to open the path for healing, reconciliation, and unity.
Florer-Bixler doesn't simplify the journey. Not at all. She doesn't pretend that there's a magic wander that will cure all of our hurts and societal ills. Instead, she creates a path for unity by writing of a community that stands in the gap with one another and truly bears one another burdens while moving toward healing, reconciliation, and unity.
Florer-Bixler identifies clearly that Jesus did, indeed, have enemies and so will we. It's how we have enemies that allows us to live more like Jesus as we seek to live and love another way.
"How to Have an Enemy: Righteous Anger and the Work of Peace" is written with a rhythm of life and passion and it felt at times as if I was in the pulpit listening to Florer-Bixler preach these words. At times, I found myself having to read them over because what Florer-Bixler writes so accessibly is actually so incredibly rich and profound. It does help, I would say, to have some foundation of biblical understanding and a theological background as Florer-Bixler weaves into the tapestry of her writing biblical stories and testimonies and an abundance of Scripture. However, she writes so beautifully that I found myself caught up in her use of language and her ability to make complex theological concepts quite understandable.
If I had any minor concern with "How to Have an Enemy," it would be the lack of mention of the disability community when she so often refers to those communities hurt by the church and hurt by society. I found multiple places within the text where such a reference easily fit and it seems a lacking of the book that those with disabilities are set aside here.
However, this is a fairly minor quibble given the richness of the text and the challenging issues that Florer-Bixler does choose to address. Let's face it. You can't address them all.
Destined to be one of my favorite Christian writings of 2021 I'm sure, "How to Have an Enemy: Righteous Anger and the Work of Peace" does, indeed, affirm that my own theology is very much aligned with that of Florer-Bixler and I marvel at her ability to intelligently and compassionately tackle a difficult subject with understanding and grace.
August 13, 2021
I enjoyed reading How to Have an Enemy, I truly did. Florer-Bixler brings out essential theology and delves into what it means to be a Christian. It doesn’t mean being a conqueror, it doesn’t mean pointing fingers and screaming “I’m right, you’re wrong” (although there is a time and place for that); what it means to be a Christian is to act like Christ, to care for the poor and the downtrodden, to stand for justice, to lose everything in order to gain everything. Florer-Bixler is explicit about this and about how the church often, and through history, exerts its power, over those it is suppose to love and protect. She discusses how many churches force their own congregations, who include victims of trauma, abuse, and racism, to “forgive”, even though that isn’t as easy as churches make it out to be. Florer-Bixler points the reader to the Psalms which are chock full of powerful laments of human suffering. “The psalms that call for God’s intervention are written as a reminder of the enormity of human suffering within systemic and sustained forms of violence that cannot always be rectified by good work, good intentions, or reasonable dialogue” (Florer-Bixler, 2021). Yes! Enter God, who can rectify the situation and who encourages us to express our anger, our pain, our rage against injustice. The church should be a place where we can stoke “communal anger [and] create communities that share burdens and creatively enact justice” (Florer-Bixler, 2021).
The book is full of research, examples, and inspiring writing that will cause you to reflect on how you’ve embodied God’s call to justice, loving the poor, and being Christ-like. She shares passages from the Bible, real life experiences and stories that force the reading to consider what else God is calling us to do. The points in here are important and well written.
However, the book needed to be organized better. At times I felt bogged down by all the quotations, the examples, and I was wondering what Florer-Bixler was going to do with all that information she just shared. I found myself asking, “How does this tie in with the title of the book?” and sometimes my tired mom brain could not find the answer. As I said, everything in here is important, but I’m not sure if everything in this book is a true reflection of the title, How to Have an Enemy. After reading this, I felt inspired to do more to stand for justice, equity, for the Kingdom of God, but I was also left feeling a bit muddled. Do I have more or better knowledge on how to navigate having enemies? I can’t say that I do, and Florer-Bixler is explicit that this isn’t a book on how to handle racist family members (she gives a great example of this! I can’t find the quote, but it’s in there, all about the racist uncle at Thanksgiving), so for me, the title of the book and the content don’t mesh. There are also a few places where the Bible was misquoted and where I would have liked to see the Bible reference (for example, she discusses Mary’s song, but didn’t include the verses).
Overall, this was a great read—very informative and thought provoking. Everything you want in a nonfiction book. My qualms are with the organization and the editing of the book.
Thank you to NetGalley and Herald Press for providing me with an ARC.
The book is full of research, examples, and inspiring writing that will cause you to reflect on how you’ve embodied God’s call to justice, loving the poor, and being Christ-like. She shares passages from the Bible, real life experiences and stories that force the reading to consider what else God is calling us to do. The points in here are important and well written.
However, the book needed to be organized better. At times I felt bogged down by all the quotations, the examples, and I was wondering what Florer-Bixler was going to do with all that information she just shared. I found myself asking, “How does this tie in with the title of the book?” and sometimes my tired mom brain could not find the answer. As I said, everything in here is important, but I’m not sure if everything in this book is a true reflection of the title, How to Have an Enemy. After reading this, I felt inspired to do more to stand for justice, equity, for the Kingdom of God, but I was also left feeling a bit muddled. Do I have more or better knowledge on how to navigate having enemies? I can’t say that I do, and Florer-Bixler is explicit that this isn’t a book on how to handle racist family members (she gives a great example of this! I can’t find the quote, but it’s in there, all about the racist uncle at Thanksgiving), so for me, the title of the book and the content don’t mesh. There are also a few places where the Bible was misquoted and where I would have liked to see the Bible reference (for example, she discusses Mary’s song, but didn’t include the verses).
Overall, this was a great read—very informative and thought provoking. Everything you want in a nonfiction book. My qualms are with the organization and the editing of the book.
Thank you to NetGalley and Herald Press for providing me with an ARC.
September 30, 2021
While Florer-Bixler demonstrates a remarkable ability to perceive and insightfully critique the ways that Christians may sometimes be unthinking in the positions and beliefs they profess to hold, I did not find this book as helpful or as clear as her previous one. I struggled to find a unifying direction both to the book as a whole and within individual chapters. Certain lines or paragraphs would stand out as offering powerful reflection and challenging insight into how we think about enemies and enmity within the Christian community, but would be followed up by a page or two where I wasn't quite sure where she was going or what she was trying to say. The topic and Florer-Bixler's insight into it are, I think, very much worthwhile—I just wish that would have come through more effectively.
January 17, 2022
I have mixed feelings about this book. Overall, I learned a lot of new terminology, arguments, and had intrinsic feelings stirred up a bit (in a good way), to refocus and self-reflect. For this intent, this book is a home run.
The book discusses righteous anger vs. self righteousness, how to focus and delineate what an “enemy” is, and ways to better understand and love your enemy. There are many Biblical references throughout, discussions of the early Church versus historical Roman society, and how the United States of America’s challenges are synonymous to those from the New Testament times. Examples include discussing the Roman society hierarchy, how Jesus came to upset and rewrite this social order, and implications to American society today. The author clearly has a goal and purpose for writing, and overall I think this is met.
The main weakness are I do question some of the references used (particularly newspaper articles), and at times, the book seems disorganized, with multiple sections of the book I would describe as “flight of ideas”, a medical term to describe a thought flow following many topics in line that are hard to follow and seem out of place. New topics and references are often brought in at times that do not make sense to me. Perhaps I do not understand the concept myself.
My main recommendation for future updates of this book as a reader is to reconsider the organization of this book. The chapters are very long with varied topics; perhaps breaking each chapter into smaller sections to better focus the topic and intent of each would be a positive addition, ease the read and improve referencing.
Despite my criticism above, I am thankful for this read and recommend all consider reading
The book discusses righteous anger vs. self righteousness, how to focus and delineate what an “enemy” is, and ways to better understand and love your enemy. There are many Biblical references throughout, discussions of the early Church versus historical Roman society, and how the United States of America’s challenges are synonymous to those from the New Testament times. Examples include discussing the Roman society hierarchy, how Jesus came to upset and rewrite this social order, and implications to American society today. The author clearly has a goal and purpose for writing, and overall I think this is met.
The main weakness are I do question some of the references used (particularly newspaper articles), and at times, the book seems disorganized, with multiple sections of the book I would describe as “flight of ideas”, a medical term to describe a thought flow following many topics in line that are hard to follow and seem out of place. New topics and references are often brought in at times that do not make sense to me. Perhaps I do not understand the concept myself.
My main recommendation for future updates of this book as a reader is to reconsider the organization of this book. The chapters are very long with varied topics; perhaps breaking each chapter into smaller sections to better focus the topic and intent of each would be a positive addition, ease the read and improve referencing.
Despite my criticism above, I am thankful for this read and recommend all consider reading
April 27, 2021
I had been looking forward to How to Have an Enemy with some anticipation. Perhaps strangely, it’s only been in the past ten years or so that I have realized that I have actual enemies, people and their structures that actively seek to do me harm. Because Jesus calls us to love and bless our enemies, I am grateful to learn that others are willing to claim enemies; we cannot love or bless that which we believe we do not have.
Florer-Bixler does not provide a handbook or plan d’attaque, but rather attempts to show us how to “both humanize our enemies and stand firm in a collective vision for the reign of God.” Partially, this is by showing us how to distinguish between the tolerable and the intolerable, and by naming the most powerful enemies within American culture, especially white supremacy and racism, hetero-patriarchy, the nuclear family, Mammon in the guise of capitalism, antisemitism, and ableism. Partially, this is by choosing to be on the side of the powerless, “the side of the line where Jesus walked,” to join in God’s new community.
This is not a gentle book; its subtitle is Righteous Anger and the Work of Peace. For readers (such as I) who benefit from being one of, or benefitting from, the enemies Florer-Bixler names, it is uncomfortable and disconcerting. These readers (such as I) need to be shaken until “what cannot be shaken may remain.” It will challenge those with ears to hear and perhaps provide hope for those who view the Christian task as primarily concerned with the struggle for socioeconomic liberation.
Florer-Bixler does not provide a handbook or plan d’attaque, but rather attempts to show us how to “both humanize our enemies and stand firm in a collective vision for the reign of God.” Partially, this is by showing us how to distinguish between the tolerable and the intolerable, and by naming the most powerful enemies within American culture, especially white supremacy and racism, hetero-patriarchy, the nuclear family, Mammon in the guise of capitalism, antisemitism, and ableism. Partially, this is by choosing to be on the side of the powerless, “the side of the line where Jesus walked,” to join in God’s new community.
This is not a gentle book; its subtitle is Righteous Anger and the Work of Peace. For readers (such as I) who benefit from being one of, or benefitting from, the enemies Florer-Bixler names, it is uncomfortable and disconcerting. These readers (such as I) need to be shaken until “what cannot be shaken may remain.” It will challenge those with ears to hear and perhaps provide hope for those who view the Christian task as primarily concerned with the struggle for socioeconomic liberation.
July 18, 2021
As a parish priest, I've been urged by well-meaning members to make sure the words we preach and the prayers we pray don't leave anyone feeling uncomfortable or excluded, whether because of their identity, values, beliefs, or political choices. I understand where that caution comes from. We often talk about Jesus's inclusive love and his preference for the people on the margins of society at that time. And Jesus DID tell his followers to love their enemies and pray for those who persecute them (Matthew 5:44).
But too often, the Church has chosen to keep her enemies comfortable instead of loving the enemies' victims by speaking up for them and confronting the wrongdoers. In How to Have an Enemy, Melissa Florer-Bixler offers a robust theology that makes space for the community of faith to face our enemies with tough honesty, lament the harm done and the cycles of violence and trauma that result, and seek repair and reconciliation together, when possible.
This is not an easy book-- not to read and not to apply to painful situations. There's no quick fix, no bandaid to slap on to trauma. But Florer-Bixler's deep well of faith and hope in God's ultimate just, healing love of the world soaks every word of even the hardest paragraphs. I will be using this with parish leadership and will surely be preaching and praying with it long after this first reading.
But too often, the Church has chosen to keep her enemies comfortable instead of loving the enemies' victims by speaking up for them and confronting the wrongdoers. In How to Have an Enemy, Melissa Florer-Bixler offers a robust theology that makes space for the community of faith to face our enemies with tough honesty, lament the harm done and the cycles of violence and trauma that result, and seek repair and reconciliation together, when possible.
This is not an easy book-- not to read and not to apply to painful situations. There's no quick fix, no bandaid to slap on to trauma. But Florer-Bixler's deep well of faith and hope in God's ultimate just, healing love of the world soaks every word of even the hardest paragraphs. I will be using this with parish leadership and will surely be preaching and praying with it long after this first reading.
April 27, 2021
In a time of chaos, police violence, and white supremacy - this book poses so many crucial questions about who we are & how we love one another. How to Have an Enemy grapples with the reality we live in, and the call we have as Christians to be people of peace in a hateful world. It reminds me that the good news/gospel is a powerful thing, that can be utterly horrifying to those invested in the white supremacist & capitalist system. The Gospel is a gospel of the dispossessed - & we as Christians stand in the breach, we witness the struggles and we uplift them. Melissa's book attacks the powers of sin and death by emphasizing how we as christians must name our enemies, but love them righteously.
To recognize the places where we as humans fall short while also working towards a healthy conflict and principled peace - a reconciliation where we hold those who do harm accountable and through the slow, patient work of restoring relationship with our neighbor, we find the Holy Spirit within the breach. Within our brokenness, within the dialectic of the oppressor/oppressed, when we acknowledge our lives as being tethered to one another, we can reorient ourselves towards a righteous anger, something that propels us towards reconciliation, and the liberation of all peoples.
To recognize the places where we as humans fall short while also working towards a healthy conflict and principled peace - a reconciliation where we hold those who do harm accountable and through the slow, patient work of restoring relationship with our neighbor, we find the Holy Spirit within the breach. Within our brokenness, within the dialectic of the oppressor/oppressed, when we acknowledge our lives as being tethered to one another, we can reorient ourselves towards a righteous anger, something that propels us towards reconciliation, and the liberation of all peoples.
May 5, 2021
I have been eagerly anticipating reading this book for a while now. However, as a very conflict-averse person, I've been simultaneously anxious about the challenging message I would encounter. How to Have an Enemy is indeed challenging. I was raised thinking that having any kind of enemy was always wrong - with the lone exception of rival sports teams. Melissa challenges that ideology by turning it around on itself: What if naming someone as an enemy to the liberating message of the Gospel is actually the best way I can love them? She creates a space to have an honest conversation about power dynamics, a conversation that is essential in the work toward true peace. I'm thankful for Melissa and the hard work and difficult conversations that were required to write such a beautiful book. I highly recommend it!
June 7, 2021
This is a book I will reread and recommend to anyone and everyone I know. How to Have an Enemy takes a look at what enemy love can look like when we abandon a safe and comfortable centrism in favor of advocating for the marginalized and oppressed, illustrating how unity for unity's sake is ultimately harmful and counterproductive to the kingdom of God. The focus is largely on bigger enemies, power structures, and systemic evils though she does also examine how our alignment with those power structures are detrimental to the life of the church. This is a must-read especially for those in church leadership and a helpful challenge to those of us who tend to be conflict-averse. This book was informative, insightful, challenging, and encouraging and I think most lay people will find Florer-Bixler's writing approachable.
August 8, 2021
An important book. In my previous evangelical circles, we were mostly taught to deal with enemies by forgiving them. Florer-Bixler says in print the strong, hard, life-giving things that are needed for suburban white churches to step into a Christianity that comes from and that gives life, rather than one that merely perpetuates niceness.
I sometimes found the thread of the book difficult to follow, but the importance of making room for shared anger and letting it motivate social change, and standing on the side of the marginalized imagining a new way of ordering life as the road to reconciliation rather than the pacification of the powerful--all of those ideas call us to a better way to have an enemy.
Note: Florer-Bixler defines an enemy as one who has more power than you do and does not wish you well.
I sometimes found the thread of the book difficult to follow, but the importance of making room for shared anger and letting it motivate social change, and standing on the side of the marginalized imagining a new way of ordering life as the road to reconciliation rather than the pacification of the powerful--all of those ideas call us to a better way to have an enemy.
Note: Florer-Bixler defines an enemy as one who has more power than you do and does not wish you well.
May 29, 2021
I loved every chapter. This is an anti-capitalist, anti-racist understanding of the Christian faith, showing the ways that Jesus didn't come to be nice, but to subvert hierarchies and topple the powers that oppress and control. It points to a new way to be, a new way to understand who or what is our enemy. It won't be an easy read for everyone. I think a lot of mainstream Christians might have a hard time with it. But it's a balm to those who feel crushed under the status quo. I love the honesty and straightforwardness of author Melissa Florer-Bixler, how she admits where she was wrong in the past, and is committed to being on the side of Jesus. I want to share it with everyone I know, I find it energizing, and a spark to living a meaningful, compassionate life.
October 29, 2021
This is a powerful book! I'm not sure that I agree with all of Florer-Bixler's arguments or perspectives, but I think that my own thinking has been improved by wrestling with them throughout this book. There's much of value here in terms of thinking about the difficulty of the life that Jesus calls all who wish to follow him to. Particularly moved by the story of the repentant KKK member who was left largely alone and without community after his 'conversion' to the way of peace. I don't often hear stories of folks that face true loss for their conversion that is not made up in this life and think that we would be better off as disciples if we had more of these stories to look to for strength.
September 11, 2022
My first reaction to this book is that its Florer-Bixler's effort to help cure Mennonites of our oft practiced passive-aggressive approach to dealing with conflicts. Florer-Bixler argues that Jesus doesn't call us to be "fair" and "impartial," in conflict situations. Instead Jesus calls us to take the side of the poor, the oppressed and the marginalized. At the same time, Florer-Bixler reminds us that we cannot dehumanize our enemies, again because of the model of Jesus.
For many of us, these ideas make us uncomfortable, let alone trying to put them into practice, but as Flores-Bixler reminds us, if we claim to be followers of Jesus, we need to emulate his practices and follow his teachings.
For many of us, these ideas make us uncomfortable, let alone trying to put them into practice, but as Flores-Bixler reminds us, if we claim to be followers of Jesus, we need to emulate his practices and follow his teachings.
May 20, 2023
Honestly just mid. 2.5 stars. It was not written in the way I was hoping it would be. The examples were helpful, although American-centric. I was able to apply the big racial issues to my Canadian context, which isn’t all too different of course. But the way in which the author seemed to swing from Biblical principles to concrete examples never connected for me. They seemed very disjointed. I was hoping for a more personal section as well, but the minutiae was almost overshadowed by the societal examples. Additionally, even as someone who knows the language of social Justice I felt that the amount of jargon the author used meant that this book would be extremely inaccessible for someone who was looking for a first step into the topics covered.
April 29, 2021
I devoured this book. Not only is Melissa Florer-Bixler a wonderful writer, but her passion is convicting in the best kind of way. She reminds all Christians that our call is not to placate the systems and structures that keep some of us safe while brutalizing others, but to stand against all forces of death and destruction. She calls us to the costly discipleship that turns the world upside down. This book is nourishment, encouragement, and hope for anyone who is hungry for a world made new, anyone eager for the Church to be the alternative, kingdom of God community that we have been commissioned to be. I can't recommend it highly enough.
August 31, 2021
Florer-Bixler has written a very powerful book about enmity, community, and the Kingdom of God. I am very drawn to the way that she describes re-ordering our lives to the new Kingdom, making all things right, and looking toward the reality of no enemies in New Creation. She offers a great critique of the cheap unity and cheap reconciliation that we often settle for. There were aspects of this book that I found somewhat one-sided, but, overall, it is a great book!
October 29, 2021
This is a challenging book, in all the best ways. I feel convicted to think about the definitions of peacemaking that have long informed my worldview, and how those definitions might simply reify the power structures that have made my life comfortable. In the least, I have a much more sharpened eye to the ways we use the language of peacemaking and "loving your enemies" to silence people on the margins.
June 12, 2022
“This is where Jesus draws the line--where he invites us to set up our lives and welcome others to the liberatory and disruptive good news of upended social convention. This is where a new people is made from those who were hungry and thirsty, who waste away in prisons, and who linger in sick wards. Jesus cares about what we do with our lives. If there are people who will not join this work, who harm the witness of this good news, we shake the dust and return to the work given us to do.”
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