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Pucks & Rainbows #2
Passe décisive
Une recrue, son co-équipier et son meilleur ami jouant dans une équipe rivale. Qu’est-ce qui pourrait mal tourner ?
La recrue des Snowhawks de Seattle, Justin Reid, a le béguin pour son co-équipier, Shawn Kelleher. Pas de chance, Shawn en pince pour… le meilleur ami de Justin, le centre des Vancouver Narwhals, Keith Adams.
Quand Shawn laisse échapper au pire moment possible qu’il a envie de Keith, Justin est blessé, mais que peut-il y faire ? Il pousse Keith vers Shawn et laisse leur alchimie faire le reste.
Ce qu’ignore Justin, c’est que même si Shawn plaît à Keith, ce dernier désire aussi secrètement Justin depuis toujours. Après quelques loupés, ils se rendent compte qu’il se passe quelque chose de très sexy et de carrément réciproque entre eux trois. Leurs fantasmes prennent vie à tout-va.
Sauf que cette liaison à trois est tout sauf simple. Surtout quand il est question du fils d’une légende du hockey qui se démène pour se faire un nom dans l’ombre d’un père homophobe, tout en restant dans le placard. Surtout avec leurs emplois du temps épuisants et les règles de fraternisation de leurs équipes. Ajoutez à ça de fichus sentiments qui apparaissent là où il ne faudrait pas, et cette relation est vouée à l’échec dès le départ.
Shawn, Keith et Justin se sont battus pour se faire une place dans le hockey professionnel. Ce qu’ils partagent vaut-il la peine de se battre aussi ? Ou la peur gagnera-t-elle ce match ?
Passe décisive est le 2ème livre de la série Palets & Arcs-en-ciel, et peut être lu de manière indépendante.
La recrue des Snowhawks de Seattle, Justin Reid, a le béguin pour son co-équipier, Shawn Kelleher. Pas de chance, Shawn en pince pour… le meilleur ami de Justin, le centre des Vancouver Narwhals, Keith Adams.
Quand Shawn laisse échapper au pire moment possible qu’il a envie de Keith, Justin est blessé, mais que peut-il y faire ? Il pousse Keith vers Shawn et laisse leur alchimie faire le reste.
Ce qu’ignore Justin, c’est que même si Shawn plaît à Keith, ce dernier désire aussi secrètement Justin depuis toujours. Après quelques loupés, ils se rendent compte qu’il se passe quelque chose de très sexy et de carrément réciproque entre eux trois. Leurs fantasmes prennent vie à tout-va.
Sauf que cette liaison à trois est tout sauf simple. Surtout quand il est question du fils d’une légende du hockey qui se démène pour se faire un nom dans l’ombre d’un père homophobe, tout en restant dans le placard. Surtout avec leurs emplois du temps épuisants et les règles de fraternisation de leurs équipes. Ajoutez à ça de fichus sentiments qui apparaissent là où il ne faudrait pas, et cette relation est vouée à l’échec dès le départ.
Shawn, Keith et Justin se sont battus pour se faire une place dans le hockey professionnel. Ce qu’ils partagent vaut-il la peine de se battre aussi ? Ou la peur gagnera-t-elle ce match ?
Passe décisive est le 2ème livre de la série Palets & Arcs-en-ciel, et peut être lu de manière indépendante.
495 pages, Kindle Edition
First published December 26, 2019
146 people are currently reading
604 people want to read
About the author
L.A. Witt
218 books2,726 followersL.A. Witt and her husband have been exiled from Spain and sent to live in Maine because rhymes are fun. She now divides her time between writing, assuring people she is aware that Maine is cold, wondering where to put her next tattoo, and trying to reason with a surly Maine coon. Rumor has it her arch nemesis, Lauren Gallagher, is also somewhere in the wilds of New England, which is why L.A. is also spending a portion of her time training a team of spec ops lobsters.
Authors Ann Gallagher and Lori A. Witt have been asked to assist in lobster training, but they "have books to write" and "need to focus on our careers" and "don't you think this rivalry has gotten a little out of hand?" They're probably just helping Lauren raise her army of squirrels trained to ride moose into battle.
Visit her website at http://www.gallagherwitt.com/.
Authors Ann Gallagher and Lori A. Witt have been asked to assist in lobster training, but they "have books to write" and "need to focus on our careers" and "don't you think this rivalry has gotten a little out of hand?" They're probably just helping Lauren raise her army of squirrels trained to ride moose into battle.
Visit her website at http://www.gallagherwitt.com/.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 156 reviews
January 12, 2023
I really liked this, but there were a few things that were bothering me! I'm all for MMM, but this just kept feeling off balance.
Honestly, I think it was too heavy on sex and not focused enough on the relationship outside of that. Like, yes, the sex scenes were all good, but I just wanted more of the relationship outside of sex! It was hard at times to see where the love had developed, I guess.
Also, the end felt unfinished and kinda unfair. Only two were known to be in the relationship publicly, but the epilogue could have shown the future with the three together publicly. It just always felt like Keith was on the outside a lot, so it would have been really nice to see them all together, not just Keith being speculated over. Polyamory is real! It just felt like it was encouraging hiding a huge part of who they were still. 🤷🏼♀️
Honestly, I think it was too heavy on sex and not focused enough on the relationship outside of that. Like, yes, the sex scenes were all good, but I just wanted more of the relationship outside of sex! It was hard at times to see where the love had developed, I guess.
Also, the end felt unfinished and kinda unfair. Only two were known to be in the relationship publicly, but the epilogue could have shown the future with the three together publicly. It just always felt like Keith was on the outside a lot, so it would have been really nice to see them all together, not just Keith being speculated over. Polyamory is real! It just felt like it was encouraging hiding a huge part of who they were still. 🤷🏼♀️
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 22, 2022
I have the worst sunburns on my legs now because I was engrossed in this and forgot that I'm pale AF. I loved these three together. I was worried this would be a smutapalooza but it was the right amount of heat and emotions. I wish we got to see them a smidge into the future where everything is out and ok but I'm completely satisfied by where be left the story.
Keith's family sucks. Just saying.
Keith's family sucks. Just saying.
May 1, 2020
I had to go back and re-read my review of Rebound to remind myself that the first book of this series was actually enjoyable, because this was just...not a good book. I don't like leaving negative reviews, but I can't in good conscience give this one more than two stars, and even that's a stretch.
The hockey inaccuracies alone would have been enough to have me ripping my hair out. The author gets around this...a bit...but making up a new league with new rules and a new type of schedule, presumably to try and offset the fact that she knows very little about hockey. So many things, though, were just maddening. I can get around nitty-gritty things being wrong, because hockey can be complicated, and I don't expect authors to know every single rule. But this bordered on ridiculous. The first book, I realized, didn't have this problem because hockey was not a huge part of that book. This one...yeah, it was a problem.
Secondly, the characters. All three main characters here were basically the same person. Their mannerisms, the way they talked, their habits and insecurities... They were interchangeable carbon copies of each other. It was boring. It was unrealistic. It was lazy.
I respect authors who can produce enjoyable content in the amounts L.A. Witt does. But the rush jobs are really obvious, and that's what I saw here. There were missing words and typos throughout. There was a disturbing amount of repetition which probably could have cut 100 pages and still left the entire book but in a form much easier to read. A couple more rounds of edits would theoretically have done wonders for this. Unfortunately, what we have is...basically a mess.
The bones of this had promise. I just wish the author had taken the time to deliver on it.
The hockey inaccuracies alone would have been enough to have me ripping my hair out. The author gets around this...a bit...but making up a new league with new rules and a new type of schedule, presumably to try and offset the fact that she knows very little about hockey. So many things, though, were just maddening. I can get around nitty-gritty things being wrong, because hockey can be complicated, and I don't expect authors to know every single rule. But this bordered on ridiculous. The first book, I realized, didn't have this problem because hockey was not a huge part of that book. This one...yeah, it was a problem.
Secondly, the characters. All three main characters here were basically the same person. Their mannerisms, the way they talked, their habits and insecurities... They were interchangeable carbon copies of each other. It was boring. It was unrealistic. It was lazy.
I respect authors who can produce enjoyable content in the amounts L.A. Witt does. But the rush jobs are really obvious, and that's what I saw here. There were missing words and typos throughout. There was a disturbing amount of repetition which probably could have cut 100 pages and still left the entire book but in a form much easier to read. A couple more rounds of edits would theoretically have done wonders for this. Unfortunately, what we have is...basically a mess.
The bones of this had promise. I just wish the author had taken the time to deliver on it.
October 20, 2020
18+- RTC- Very enjoyable
Rating: 3.5 Stars.
Steam: 7.5 out of 10.
Triggers:
Love Triangle:
Cheating:
HEA:
Rating: 3.5 Stars.
Steam: 7.5 out of 10.
Triggers:
Love Triangle:
Cheating:
HEA:
December 27, 2019
Warm with self generated angst
This is a very nice threesome romance. There's a sense of the relationship between each pairing within the threesome that I really appreciate. The boys treat each other well and want to be kind to each other, they just have some pretty bad communication habits.
Warning: There's an emotionally brutal coming out as part of this book
I enjoyed this book, laughed in a few places, and stayed up way too late breathlessly waiting for them to get back together.
This is a very nice threesome romance. There's a sense of the relationship between each pairing within the threesome that I really appreciate. The boys treat each other well and want to be kind to each other, they just have some pretty bad communication habits.
Warning: There's an emotionally brutal coming out as part of this book
I enjoyed this book, laughed in a few places, and stayed up way too late breathlessly waiting for them to get back together.
June 17, 2020
Poly relationships are a puzzle to me. Honestly, several people together in love, in lust. Though this book writes one in rather a naive way. Three men, competitive athletes, had no ego issues, absolutely no jealously, & all realize almost too late that there was someone else they wanted too?
Hot sex & misunderstandings dominate the plot. There were eye-rolling scenes that I skimmed quickly. Worth the 99c I paid, but I would be hard pressed to pay more.
Hot sex & misunderstandings dominate the plot. There were eye-rolling scenes that I skimmed quickly. Worth the 99c I paid, but I would be hard pressed to pay more.
dnf
February 24, 2023The most cringeworthy awkward start I've read.
Pages of thoughts between dialogue, three interchangeable characters. I skipped to the end and still don't care for them together.
Pages of thoughts between dialogue, three interchangeable characters. I skipped to the end and still don't care for them together.
did-not-finish
November 23, 2025DNF at 3%. I should've read the description. Because that was not it for me.
July 30, 2022
Voto: 3.5
RECENSIONE A CURA DI SLANIF
Venite a leggerla sul nostro blog!
RECENSIONE A CURA DI SLANIF
Venite a leggerla sul nostro blog!
December 3, 2020
This was very different from Rebound, definitely went into the sex without much plot rather than focusing on emotional connection. There was a lot of angsting about the emotional connection between these three, but I didn't feel like it contributed a whole lot to the story or their development. In fact, it would have been nice if a lot of it was cut out - it got excessive, and I had to skim a fair amount towards the end. Still....hot.
THOUGH: what the heck is with that hockey schedule? I can only assume it was altered to make it easier to get the three of them together, but boy was it weird as fuck.
THOUGH: what the heck is with that hockey schedule? I can only assume it was altered to make it easier to get the three of them together, but boy was it weird as fuck.
May 27, 2021
What’s better than 2 hot hockey players? 3 hot hockey players!! If all you want is a good and steamy time with a MMM menage, then look no further than this book. It’s a fun ride for sure, and well worth your time. On the downside, I can’t say it’s incredibly well-written. There’s just too much repetitive whining and ruminating - from all 3 characters!! With a different editor, this book could have easily lost 75 pages and been better off instead of worse off.
TLDR: I enjoyed it immensely, but it’s not winning any literary awards.
TLDR: I enjoyed it immensely, but it’s not winning any literary awards.
Read
December 3, 2019Available December 26, 2019.
December 29, 2019
While I liked this, it didn't draw me in as much as the first book did.
June 4, 2020
When a book makes you cry...you give it 5-stars!!
Narration was flawless.
Perfection all around!!
Narration was flawless.
Perfection all around!!
March 11, 2025
Very good. Very angst-laden. Just sayin'.
March 13, 2023
Hm. Zu viel Alkohol, zu wenig Kommunikation, zu unbefriedigendes Ende für meinen Geschmack.
00-mm-horrible-disaster-fail-dnf
December 25, 2019What's going on with this author and all the super horrible covers lately o_O ... her covers used to be wonderful, and now, they're really REALLY bad (and don't do anyone ANY favours) :-(!!!
No offense to the author; merely stating the facts ... this cover is BAD :-/!! I of course won't allow it to impact my assessment of the book at all, whatsoever!!! I sincerely anticipate and look forward to really liking this book ... so Book, I have a good feeling about you, I'm confident you'll be a great one (like this author HAS occasionally been known to write; there have been some REALLY great ones but unfortunately quite a few fails & misses as well), so PLEASE be one of this author's hits [and I anticipate the same for the book right before this one]!!!
No offense to the author; merely stating the facts ... this cover is BAD :-/!! I of course won't allow it to impact my assessment of the book at all, whatsoever!!! I sincerely anticipate and look forward to really liking this book ... so Book, I have a good feeling about you, I'm confident you'll be a great one (like this author HAS occasionally been known to write; there have been some REALLY great ones but unfortunately quite a few fails & misses as well), so PLEASE be one of this author's hits [and I anticipate the same for the book right before this one]!!!
November 16, 2022
Triad of beautiful hockey players!!!
Keith, Justin and Shawn are a hot triad!!! The first FaceTime scene and Keith just watched was so hot!! Then the let’s worship Justin scene was flipping even hotter!! Good lord these 3 know how to have fun!! I was happy to see Justin well the other two as well, but Justin mostly let out their true feelings and stop fighting and they all get their fears out the way to have their HEA!!
Keith, Justin and Shawn are a hot triad!!! The first FaceTime scene and Keith just watched was so hot!! Then the let’s worship Justin scene was flipping even hotter!! Good lord these 3 know how to have fun!! I was happy to see Justin well the other two as well, but Justin mostly let out their true feelings and stop fighting and they all get their fears out the way to have their HEA!!
Read
March 23, 2024DNF @30%
I never thought I’d see the day a poly romance would not interest me but here we are… the lack of chemistry between these characters is very hilarious and slightly pathetic.
I may come back but as for now, I don’t have time for this shit.
Sincerely,
Just a girl🎀
I never thought I’d see the day a poly romance would not interest me but here we are… the lack of chemistry between these characters is very hilarious and slightly pathetic.
I may come back but as for now, I don’t have time for this shit.
Sincerely,
Just a girl🎀
July 14, 2021
i mean... it was fine
January 2, 2023
Good lord it’s not often books make me cry but these boys just did it for me. MMM and sooooo amazing! Absolutely love this trio so much it hurts.
June 16, 2020
Audiobook
I liked the characters and rooted for them to get their HEA.
What I didn't like is the cover. What's with the bad covers in this series?
I liked the characters and rooted for them to get their HEA.
What I didn't like is the cover. What's with the bad covers in this series?
January 29, 2021
This was a good read and I enjoyed reading about Keith, Shawn and Justin
It was good to see everyone from the first book again
It was good to see everyone from the first book again
November 8, 2021
Surprise triad! Those don't always work for me, but I enjoyed this. :)
January 1, 2020
This was just okay for me. I couldn’t get into it and found myself skimming through it more often than not. Oh well. Win some, lose some 🤷🏻♀️
January 22, 2020
2.5 Stars
This is so hard because Ms Witt is one of my favorite authors. This book just wasn't up to her usual standards. I feel like the book could have used another round of edits. She often repeated herself in scenes, saying the same things multiple times.
The story itself was pretty good. I liked the characters.
This is so hard because Ms Witt is one of my favorite authors. This book just wasn't up to her usual standards. I feel like the book could have used another round of edits. She often repeated herself in scenes, saying the same things multiple times.
The story itself was pretty good. I liked the characters.
August 7, 2021
4.5/⭐
this second tome is really as cool as the first tome. we find the same team but with a very different plot but just as brilliantly the third volume!
this second tome is really as cool as the first tome. we find the same team but with a very different plot but just as brilliantly the third volume!
March 26, 2023
Oof! This book was a *slog* to get through!!
I was hopeful and excited about the triad dynamic, but in all honesty: it really wasn’t done in what felt like a respectful way toward the actual polyamory community. I think the author dropped the ball on a lot of possibilities in showcasing how polyamory can (and does) work for many folks.
Once again, there was also a metric shit ton of drama for drama’s sake. And all of that drama was *constantly repeated* over and over and over… I don’t need to be beat over the head with each of these guy’s trauma!!
There was also just a lot of fucking nonsense! Like “most of the pictures of Justin are blurry because he’s so fast!” …If we can capture a still photo of a hummingbird, we can photograph Justin. Don’t be fucking stupid. And why on EARTH would you create a whole unique season structure just for the fucking hell of it?? Grab two actual NHL season schedules and figure it out! Also, correlate the teams to ACTUAL NHL cities. Don’t think I didn’t notice that too (Oakland previously was home to the Golden Seals, but that is a huuuuge throwback and you basically just tried to pretend like you know hockey history…).
And with 3 dueling perspectives, I had a hell of a time telling who was talking, until names were mentioned. There really wasn’t a lot separating these characters for me. Once again: they all struck me more as “women with penises”. Can men be sensitive and have emotional feelings?? Yes, of course. But they don’t *deal* with those feelings the same way women do, and all of the reactionary and avoidance happening in this book was very *female brain*.
My last complaint was how Keith’s coming out to his parents was handled. In that…it wasn’t. That could have been such a *good* dramatic inclusion and instead it was just boring. No growth anywhere. Massively disappointing.
I don’t like making assumptions about authors, but I am going to take a guess that LA Witt is not part of the polyamory community, nor does she seem to be any flavor or queer. That is generally ignored by other cishet folks who read queer fiction, but it’s hard to dismiss as someone who is in that demographic.
So, while I am apparently a masochist and will get around to reading the next in this series (it can’t be worse than this, right?? I shouldn’t jinx myself. I’ve been burned before), I am just really disappointed. Like I said before: if the author would do some research, stop saying complete fucking bullshit, talk to some actual gay & polyam people, and you know…just be better, this could have been an amazing story. Witt has enough experience under her belt at this point, she should be a good story teller. Instead, I get this… ugh.
Also, if the author HAD done the research, she would know that you shorten polyamorous to polyam (this seems to be the preference for many) or polya. Polynesian folks have been asking us to *not* shorten to “poly” since at least 2016. It’s a respect thing. Please update your language if you’re going to write a book representing a community and a relationship structure that relies on communication.
Just…do better, please?
I was hopeful and excited about the triad dynamic, but in all honesty: it really wasn’t done in what felt like a respectful way toward the actual polyamory community. I think the author dropped the ball on a lot of possibilities in showcasing how polyamory can (and does) work for many folks.
Once again, there was also a metric shit ton of drama for drama’s sake. And all of that drama was *constantly repeated* over and over and over… I don’t need to be beat over the head with each of these guy’s trauma!!
There was also just a lot of fucking nonsense! Like “most of the pictures of Justin are blurry because he’s so fast!” …If we can capture a still photo of a hummingbird, we can photograph Justin. Don’t be fucking stupid. And why on EARTH would you create a whole unique season structure just for the fucking hell of it?? Grab two actual NHL season schedules and figure it out! Also, correlate the teams to ACTUAL NHL cities. Don’t think I didn’t notice that too (Oakland previously was home to the Golden Seals, but that is a huuuuge throwback and you basically just tried to pretend like you know hockey history…).
And with 3 dueling perspectives, I had a hell of a time telling who was talking, until names were mentioned. There really wasn’t a lot separating these characters for me. Once again: they all struck me more as “women with penises”. Can men be sensitive and have emotional feelings?? Yes, of course. But they don’t *deal* with those feelings the same way women do, and all of the reactionary and avoidance happening in this book was very *female brain*.
My last complaint was how Keith’s coming out to his parents was handled. In that…it wasn’t. That could have been such a *good* dramatic inclusion and instead it was just boring. No growth anywhere. Massively disappointing.
I don’t like making assumptions about authors, but I am going to take a guess that LA Witt is not part of the polyamory community, nor does she seem to be any flavor or queer. That is generally ignored by other cishet folks who read queer fiction, but it’s hard to dismiss as someone who is in that demographic.
So, while I am apparently a masochist and will get around to reading the next in this series (it can’t be worse than this, right?? I shouldn’t jinx myself. I’ve been burned before), I am just really disappointed. Like I said before: if the author would do some research, stop saying complete fucking bullshit, talk to some actual gay & polyam people, and you know…just be better, this could have been an amazing story. Witt has enough experience under her belt at this point, she should be a good story teller. Instead, I get this… ugh.
Also, if the author HAD done the research, she would know that you shorten polyamorous to polyam (this seems to be the preference for many) or polya. Polynesian folks have been asking us to *not* shorten to “poly” since at least 2016. It’s a respect thing. Please update your language if you’re going to write a book representing a community and a relationship structure that relies on communication.
Just…do better, please?
March 22, 2024
Story ⭐️ ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Writing ⭐️⭐️.5
Audiobook narration ⭐️⭐️⭐️ (the narrator that did Kith’s voice didn’t work for me, too much drawling and purring to fit the character and it was a little grating)
Steam 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️
I think I was a little generous giving this 4 stars on my first read. The need to edit for repetition was a pretty big issue. As for the story, Justin’s “I can’t be in a relationship because I have never been in a relationship” was weak sauce. His fears because of his family’s relationship issues and his insecurity about being enough were enough to justify his hesitation, having him harp on about his lack of experience at the emotional side, while doing mostly fine with the emotional side, just seemed like too much. And Kith’s hang up about his father didn’t entirely make sense. It would have worked if he had been 18 or if he had any aspect of a relationship with his father that was good. Since his father was objectively a bad person - Justin admits he had been low level bullied and treated badly by him as a kid, and he called an old teammate friend to scream at him for being gay, and he was rude to every member of his family- and a bad father, it didn’t make sense that Kith hadn’t been pulling back from the relationship for years. He should have been at the point where his father’s rejection would suck but not be that big a deal, because all he was doing was cutting himself off from someone who mistreated him in every single interaction. I am going to leave the rating at 4 because I enjoyed the hockey details and the spice was nice, but it’s probably closer to 3 and I am rounding up.
A great story in need of some editing. These characters are terrific, their situation is perfect for this romance, the writing conveys the character’s thoughts and feelings wonderfully. The steamy bits are amazing. The hockey details were fun. The one downside is that it was repetitive in many spots and was dragged out. The setup should have taken half the time it did. It was a great setup but I found myself thinking “I get it, let’s move this shit forward” and I should have been too wrapped up in the story for that. The characters are a bit repetitive in their heads, often repeating the same thoughts, the same way 2 or 3 times in a scene. Lastly, the breakup didn’t entirely make sense, or rather it did but the way it went down didn’t entirely work. You can’t convince me these guys are deeply in love with each other while simultaneously telling me they had absolutely no inkling how the others were feeling. There needed to be more nuance to their doubts and insecurities. If they knew and loved each other so well they should have had a clue that something was wrong, even if they came to the wrong conclusions. All that aside, I very much enjoyed the story. With some editing to improve the flow, this would easily be a 5 star read.
Writing ⭐️⭐️.5
Audiobook narration ⭐️⭐️⭐️ (the narrator that did Kith’s voice didn’t work for me, too much drawling and purring to fit the character and it was a little grating)
Steam 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️
I think I was a little generous giving this 4 stars on my first read. The need to edit for repetition was a pretty big issue. As for the story, Justin’s “I can’t be in a relationship because I have never been in a relationship” was weak sauce. His fears because of his family’s relationship issues and his insecurity about being enough were enough to justify his hesitation, having him harp on about his lack of experience at the emotional side, while doing mostly fine with the emotional side, just seemed like too much. And Kith’s hang up about his father didn’t entirely make sense. It would have worked if he had been 18 or if he had any aspect of a relationship with his father that was good. Since his father was objectively a bad person - Justin admits he had been low level bullied and treated badly by him as a kid, and he called an old teammate friend to scream at him for being gay, and he was rude to every member of his family- and a bad father, it didn’t make sense that Kith hadn’t been pulling back from the relationship for years. He should have been at the point where his father’s rejection would suck but not be that big a deal, because all he was doing was cutting himself off from someone who mistreated him in every single interaction. I am going to leave the rating at 4 because I enjoyed the hockey details and the spice was nice, but it’s probably closer to 3 and I am rounding up.
A great story in need of some editing. These characters are terrific, their situation is perfect for this romance, the writing conveys the character’s thoughts and feelings wonderfully. The steamy bits are amazing. The hockey details were fun. The one downside is that it was repetitive in many spots and was dragged out. The setup should have taken half the time it did. It was a great setup but I found myself thinking “I get it, let’s move this shit forward” and I should have been too wrapped up in the story for that. The characters are a bit repetitive in their heads, often repeating the same thoughts, the same way 2 or 3 times in a scene. Lastly, the breakup didn’t entirely make sense, or rather it did but the way it went down didn’t entirely work. You can’t convince me these guys are deeply in love with each other while simultaneously telling me they had absolutely no inkling how the others were feeling. There needed to be more nuance to their doubts and insecurities. If they knew and loved each other so well they should have had a clue that something was wrong, even if they came to the wrong conclusions. All that aside, I very much enjoyed the story. With some editing to improve the flow, this would easily be a 5 star read.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 156 reviews