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Things That Never Were: Fantasies, Lunacies & Entertaining Lies
From Sodom and Gomorrah to the Siberian taigo, from Roanoke Island to lost cities in Africa populated by ape-men in Elizabethan garb, this book is a travelogue of mental expeditions to weird and imaginary places. In this book, demons caper, dinosaurs are dismayed and bewildered, vampires walk in our hospitals and gods dies at the hands of men.
272 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2003
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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
February 3, 2008
I can't think of anything else I've read which is quite like this book. There are shades of Charles Fort (bizarre & unexplained phenomena) & Colin Wilson (defending various pseudoscientists like Sheldrake). The author also proudly mentions his interest in pulp literature (H.P. Lovecraft, R.E. Howard, and E.E. "Doc" Smith being prominent themes), role-playing games, and even brags that much of what he is writing is foolish nonsense. All in all, Rossi very much delivers what the subtitle promises. I really enjoyeda few of the essays, and I wouldn't bother adding it to the list if I didn't this was worth a look.
Having said that, Rossi tends to make a lot of allusions to historical, mythological, occult, and literary figures, and I think he is trying a little too hard to show the reader just how erudite he is. But often the allusions backfire. For example, he frequently cites the Dogon tribe's allegedly anomalous knowledge of Sirius (effectively debunked in the 1970s & 1980s), and he frequently refers to the Necronomicon, a book invented by Lovecraft in his horror stories, as a real document (although to be fair, a number of occultists and internet trolls still insist it is a real book). It is not clear whether Rossi is putting the reader on or seriously believes in these things. Likewise a number of essays dwell on Rupert Sheldrake's bizarre and pseudoscientific theories.
Of course Rossi admits that his essays are mostly wild speculation but the suspension of disbelief is only going to work if the author makes an honest effort to make his speculation tenable. Otherwise the reader is putting in more effort than the writer.
Having said that, Rossi tends to make a lot of allusions to historical, mythological, occult, and literary figures, and I think he is trying a little too hard to show the reader just how erudite he is. But often the allusions backfire. For example, he frequently cites the Dogon tribe's allegedly anomalous knowledge of Sirius (effectively debunked in the 1970s & 1980s), and he frequently refers to the Necronomicon, a book invented by Lovecraft in his horror stories, as a real document (although to be fair, a number of occultists and internet trolls still insist it is a real book). It is not clear whether Rossi is putting the reader on or seriously believes in these things. Likewise a number of essays dwell on Rupert Sheldrake's bizarre and pseudoscientific theories.
Of course Rossi admits that his essays are mostly wild speculation but the suspension of disbelief is only going to work if the author makes an honest effort to make his speculation tenable. Otherwise the reader is putting in more effort than the writer.
June 1, 2008
The earnestness with which Matthew Rossi appears to contemplate the most absurd and implausible notions is infectiously intoxicating. I heartily recommend this for anyone who needs an infusion of insanity into their life in safe, manageable doses.
August 14, 2007
Man oh man, this book is amazing. It's a collection of speculative non-fiction: the old "What if" game played to perfection. Rossi references history, philosophy, religion, science, mythology, literature and much, much more, and he does it in such a folksy style that it's a treat to read. If you're looking for something new and different, you've come to the right place; every idea sparkles.
August 28, 2017
Matthew Rossi is a prodigious talent. I've had the honor & privilege of watching him hone his craft for years on his blog and on various websites. This collection of essays captures that early velocity & enthusiasm & intense desire to share his ideas - not to convert a reader to an ideology or an alternative history, but to entertain and elicit Wonder & joy in these provocations about things that never were (to steal from his title).
It's taken me forever to put up a review because I never quite know how to explain the essays - I even revisited the book at the start of the new year to inspire myself, but I'm still at a loss because it all boils down to: if you enjoy speculative literature that wraps around your brain & carries you along effortlessly, give his work.a go! it does such a disservice to writers not to share and review their books that I've done the best I can here rather than put off a review any longer waiting for the right words to arrive.
Also I need a new. Ooh of the book because I keep giving them away but I can't find my notes so it's hard to be specific without being sure I'm not spoiling anything.
It's taken me forever to put up a review because I never quite know how to explain the essays - I even revisited the book at the start of the new year to inspire myself, but I'm still at a loss because it all boils down to: if you enjoy speculative literature that wraps around your brain & carries you along effortlessly, give his work.a go! it does such a disservice to writers not to share and review their books that I've done the best I can here rather than put off a review any longer waiting for the right words to arrive.
Also I need a new. Ooh of the book because I keep giving them away but I can't find my notes so it's hard to be specific without being sure I'm not spoiling anything.
August 10, 2011
Despite all its tall claims (and the reviews posted by others), this book is not enjoyable because it addresses nobody except its own mind that seems to derive pleasure from hurling all kinds of (mostly bad) ideas here & there, mostly in a language that suits American teen-agers more than others. Most of the "discourses" were skewed, fantastic, ribald in a ghastly way, and totally bereft of any redeeming value (like humour and compassion) that enlivens works by Mike Resnick. Don't go for this volume, there are other, far more scholarly or entertaining or valuable-on-both-counts books that are preferably over this wastage of paper & money.
January 4, 2013
Much like his more recent book, Bottled Demon, Things That Never Were is hard to describe. It's kind of alt-history, it's kind of a found fiction exercise, it's kind of insane but my kind of insane, and it's always thought provoking. I wish I owned a copy so I could revisit pieces of it here and there.
Recommended for anyone who likes truly weird, off-the-wall ideas, who enjoys strange history, or can simply appreciate fun and different creative writing in a nutshell.
Recommended for anyone who likes truly weird, off-the-wall ideas, who enjoys strange history, or can simply appreciate fun and different creative writing in a nutshell.
May 18, 2008
Sure, I'm logrolling, but in addition to being a swell guy, Matt has written a fascinating book of essays on what's best described as "speculative history" -- a sort of what-if of conspiracies and grand mysteries. Good stuff!
August 31, 2014
Rossi used to have a blog on Blogspot with similar material about a decade ago. This appears to be the blog's greatest hits. It's great material for planning your Mythos RPG or some crossover fanfic based on weird ideas, but it's not to be taken seriously as anything but.
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews