“Do you want to learn how to make big money in a safe legal profession that will never leave you bored?” With a sentence like that, is it any wonder I enjoy Merrill Markoe’s (enhanced) description of her life?
Markoe takes scenes from her own life, job hunting, dog walking, dating, sex, interior designers, television, parents, and then enhances them to the outrageous with laughable results. Her insecurity about everyday life is delightful, causing her ridiculous optimism or resulting in her rush to instantly improve her life by embracing the next best thing to come along.
“QUESTION: How many times should you allow a guy to slam your head into the wall behind your bed before your officially declare it “bad sex” and attempt to abort the proceedings? ANSWER: Two. The first time, it is still possible it was only an accident.
Her take on conversations with her dogs should be required reading at any pet training session. Given that this book is a collection of her columns, the writing still felt choppy and out of sequence. I did also feel this book was very dated.
“For example, the other night it began to occur to me that I seem to be the only semi neurotic woman in America who was never an incest victim – or that maybe I really am and the horrifying flashbacks just haven’t come to me yet. At least that's what the 250,000 different incest victims that I’ve seen interviewed on Oprah, Phil, Geraldo, Sally Jessy, “Hard Copy,” “Inside Edition,” “A Current Affair,” “60 Minutes,” “20/20,“ and “MTV’s House of Style” all said. And if it does turn out that I am the only remaining person in America who never had sex with her father, what does that say about me? What am I, chopped liver?"
Easy to read a chapter at a time but not Markoe’s best.