Raising Resilient Kids: 8 Principles for Bringing Up Healthy, Happy, Successful Children Who Can Overcome Obstacles and Thrive despite Adversity

by Rhonda Spencer-Hwang DrPH MPH

With so many "experts" touting different approaches to raising thriving children, how do you know which is the best one?
Dr. Rhonda Spencer-Hwang, professor of public health at Loma Linda University and mom of three, had the same question. As a member of a community known worldwide for its health and longevity, often referred to as a Blue Zone, she decided to study the area's many centenarians to find out what they--or their parents--did right in childhood to make them so resilient to stress, disease, and the adversities of life.

In Raising Resilient Kids, Dr. Spencer-Hwang reveals the intriguing findings from her research and offers eight principles for raising happier, healthier children who are equipped to flourish despite life's inevitable adversities. Readers of Raising Resilient Kids will learn how to:
Empower children with determination, motivation, and empathy
Win over picky eaters and others who resist new routines
Reduce negative stress and boost happiness
Instill the values that motivate children to serve and help others
Enhance academic performance through healthy habits
Help kids begin to explore their passions and purpose.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction

304 pages, Hardcover

Published August 3, 2021

Reviews

[Kristine Weilert · Rating 1 out of 5]

Couldn't get past the first chapter or two.. she spent way too much time talking about her town and feeding her kids McDonald's. Took too long to get to anything worthwhile.

[Mags (mbooksbycandlelight) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I though the introduction to the book was a little too long. The author spent too long focusing on her city, what made it special and its citizens. I get that it made sense because she revisited that theme throughout the book, but at least for me having that much of that was not useful or interesting.
I liked that this book’s strategy had a time frame, because it made the overall goal seem more attainable. I also really liked how the author not only told us what to do but also how to do it in easy clear steps; how she used objects and tactics that are current and easily accessible as tools to help us along our journey and how she always kept in mind that modern life is hectic and difficult to deal with. One of the tools I found valuable was the quiz at the end to help you determine how resilient your family actually was.
One downside, it placed religion as one of the important principles, so if you have a secular approach to life this may rub you the wrong way. Feel free to simply skip that chapter and I'm sure you'll still find value in this book. Overall, I found it helpful and interesting.

I received an eArc via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Patti Nicholson · Rating 2 out of 5]

So much potential but this was a bad read. The stories of older resilient people are great. But the self-help portion was not motivational for me.

[Sarah Fowler Wolfe · Rating 3 out of 5]

Spencer-Hwang interviewed many people over the age of 100 and condensed their lives and advice into eight principles for raising a family. While there is an opening overview of a specific centenarian interview to personalize each concept, she skims over the history they live and the drastic lifestyle changes we now inhabit just saying they're different times, rather than focusing on the more important concept that the lifestyle we lead now is lightyears from the thousands of human years that came before us and maybe, just maybe, we aren't *meant* to stare at screens indoors all day! She's so determined not to pass judgement that she winds up saying almost nothing.

It's broken up into chapters designed to be actively implemented over a number of weeks. Each chapter has homework: goals, action steps, additional goals, and instructions for keeping track. As an academic obviously the author doesn't find "homework" a problematic term but it seems a bit out of place in a book written for adults. Many of the chapters' content blends into each other, and while some of this is purposeful as she wants them to build on each other, a lot of times it just feels like it wasn't edited well.

The tone of the book is quite harried and seems a little desperate. I think this may be because the author is an epidemiologist writing during/after a global pandemic (understandable!), but the book is fairly stressful to read; not relaxing, edifying, or her favorite term "balanced". She gives practical examples of how to get children excited about these concepts but it comes across as very forced and externally motivated. She also obviously loves to track and check things off, giving tracking instructions for each category and providing a survey and a "scorecard" in the appendices. Some suggestions show not only her overcomplication of the implementation but supreme financial privilege--get you and each child a FitBit, go completely plant-based, plan an international volunteer trip!

There are some good ideas here, but none of them will surprise you. Get outdoors, get active, eat whole foods, rest, invest in relationships/community, join a faith community at a place of worship (apparently even/especially if you don't want to?!), be mindfully grateful for what you have.

{This book was provided to me to review on NetGalley by Tyndale House.}

[Sarah Villalobos · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m really surprised at the critical reviews of this book. I finished it in two days, I was so compelled to complete it. The beginning I did take my time to understand the author and let the message sink in. Then, I did speed read through the remaining principles. She interviewed centenarians in her Blue Zone community to find commonalities in what made them so resilient and healthy. It reminded me of the takeaways I’ve had from my grandmothers who survived the Great Depression. #3 Simple Foods: my grandmother would say as response to my being vegan, that she was essentially raised vegan, but out of necessity and not choice. Most days she said they had bean soup, maybe with a bone in it. #1 Active Movement and #2 Nature Engagement: both my grandmothers spent time outside and loved to garden. My living grandmother still grows her own veggies, strong as an ox at 90. My grandmother that has passed, gardened for an hour a day, up till 3 months before she died. I remember her telling me at the point she had to split up her gardening time, 30 minutes in the morning and 30 minutes in the evening. I told her that I didn’t think many people spent that much time outside, much less at 90. From both sides, I was inspired on the emphasis of spending time in nature and having passions late in life.

All the principles, were good reminders of how to have balance in family life. We want to teach our kids to be healthy and balanced individuals. The advice and ideas were genuinely helpful. Having had access to people who lived long healthy lives, and survived quite a bit, I acknowledge the testaments in this book as truth.

[Robin · Rating 3 out of 5]

In Raising Resilient Kids, Rhonda Spencer-Hwang sets out to discover how parents can raise kids for greater resilience in life, As a professor, researcher, and epidemiologist, Spencer-Hwang decided to spend time in the Blue Zone, a community known for having a high concentration of centenarians, individuals around 100 years old. What is their secret to longevity? And how can that help future generations find resilience: physically, emotionally, and spiritually? The result of that research is this 8 principle challenge for families to reduce stress, find healthy balance, instill values, and more.

This books wasn't quite what I expected. I thought the author would go more into a growth mindset. Instead she focused on a variety of topics to develop a resilient mind, body, AND spirit. Most of the principles in this book are well known, such as the value of sleep or the need for children to contribute to the family good. However, seeing the science behind the principles clearly laid out was a nice bonus. I also especially enjoyed the application part of each chapter where Spencer-Hwang gave some practical application examples from her own parenting journey. For the most part, this book was pretty common sense. However, for a parent of elementary aged kid, this would make a good read. For those of us who have been parenting for awhile, this one is a pass.

*Disclaimer: I received a free copy of this book from the publisher. All opinions are my own.

[Julie Anderson · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF at 65%.

Definitely not what I was expecting. I anticipated a more science/research-based approach to resilience. This was more anecdotal and builds on a blue zones foundation, which is controversial science at best. There also seems to be a very specific audience demographic here: best for families who are upper middle class, traditional, heteronormative, dual parent, organized-religion-based households.

[Hannah · Rating 3 out of 5]

I like the message the author is going for, that we should strive for a simpler and richer life, and it is great to look at that through the lens through the interviews she did. I found a lot of the stuff fairly repetitive, however, and skimmed through a lot.

[Devin Stevenson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great, specific life advice for healthy whole longevity and fostering developmental resilience. I felt like there was slightly too much harping on religion as a non worshipping person but otherwise solid

[Cara Russell · Rating 4 out of 5]

There’s a lot of good tips and advice in this one.

[Best Mama · Rating 1 out of 5]

Complete waste of time. I couldn’t even get through it. It just contains obvious, repetitive, useless drivel. I want my money back!

[Kristina · Rating 2 out of 5]

Before I can even consider the content I have to nit-pick about the format of the chapters. It's a bit confusing... There are two parts, but part two is divided not only chapters but into weeks. Why not just ditch the double labelling and remove the chapters from part two? Then there are five separate appendixes, which just seems like a lot.

Part One: Get Ready... Get Set
Chapters:
1: A Mom in Hiding - this tells me the book is geared to moms, rather than both parents, why does it all fall on Mom?
2: A Resiliency Capital: Uncovering their Secrets

Part Two: Go!
Chapters:
3: Week 1: Digging Goats and Gardens
4: Week 2: Creating Balanced Kids
5: Week 3: Raring to Go
6: Week 4: Cultivate Life-Giving Relationships
7: Week 5: Following Your Spiritual GPS
8: Week 6: Embracing a Mountain-Moving Mindset
9: Week 7: Becoming the Solution
10: Week 8: Building a Legacy of Health (and Happiness!)

Questions for Discussion Groups
Appendixes with Resiliency Program Assessment Survey, Evaluation, Maintenance Scorecard, Recipes
Dinner Conversation Kick-Starter Questions

The chapters include a quote, the body, "Homework Time" - questions to consider, and endnotes. Each chapter is so jam-packed I'm exhausted just thinking about reading the whole book.