When We Become Strangers: How loneliness leaks into our lives, and what we can do about it

by Maggie Hamilton

After decades of affluence, we're now busy renovating our homes, buffing and botoxing our bodies, and losing ourselves in passive entertainment and shopping, as depression and anxiety soars. And with the arrival of Netflix and Uber Eats, there's less and less incentive to leave home. Could our constant need for connection be messing with our brains? Is this why we're losing our ability to strike up a conversation with anyone we don't know? And given that so many of our kids lack one-on-one attention and regular touch, are we raising this new generation to be profoundly lonely?

Right now, many of our relationships at home and at work, as well as in our communities are struggling. What, then, are the best ways back to belonging, and what might a more engaged community look like?

Maggie Hamilton, author of What's Happening to Our Boys? and What's Happening to Our Girls? explores our growing loneliness and proposes practical solutions and an uplifting vision to combat the increasing social isolation in our families and communities.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction

354 pages, Paperback

Published August 17, 2021

Reviews

[Peter Langston · Rating 3 out of 5]

I rarely read self-help books anymore but this was a thoughtfully written book, based on the solid work of others in reaching conclusions and about real-life issue that are confronting people today. Loneliness in a world which is at its most connected, is a concept which speaks poorly about the quality of the connectedness. Each chapter has a separate section of practical activities to help combat the problems being raised in the chapter which precedes them. Hamilton ideas are based on sound sociology and this book is widely applicable to just about all members of the diverse society we try to survive in.

[Jen]

I have been meaning to get to this book for a while, but now that I have, it just has not grabbed me. As an audiobook, it is unusual that this book, by author Maggie Dent (she is also a public speaker, the blurb says) is narrated by a male. I found it very distracting, especially as it is first person point of view. Perhaps a note at the start of the audiobook to acknowledge it, and give the reason for choosing a male narrator, would have helped. The content of the book seemed very negative to me, without any sign of the practical solutions that the blurb says the author offers. Plenty more books on my audiobook list to listen to (borrowing through library app).

[Rob Nicholson · Rating 2 out of 5]

Disappointed. Feels more like a preachy book with a lot of 'kids these days . . .' The premise is good and there are some interesting perspectives though.

[Ita · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some interesting chapters and ideas in this book. The one about hyper-connectivity really spoke to me. So much so that I decided to have a scroll-free-September, it has been surprisingly easy to be social media free. I just deleted Facebook and instagram from my devices and keep in touch via messenger, phone or face to face catch ups. Loving the way my brain is much calmer now I am not checking my phone so often. I'm actually not sure if I'll go back to social media, I love the freedom and having more time to read and create instead of scrolling to see what other people are reading or creating.

[Marieke · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book felt like it needed some more focus, as it deviates from loneliness as the focus in many of the chapters. That could be okay if it had explained how the other elements it looked at can contribute to loneliness, but it didn’t really do that. Also, a lot of the self help tips seemed very generic (leave the phone behind, go into nature, be active, etc) and can be found in lots of other self help books. Still, it does provide a small impetus to branch out into finding people with similar interests a bit more.

[Svitlana · Rating 3 out of 5]

Достаточно депрессивная книга. Трудно не согласиться с автором, особенно по главам про отношения в личной жизни. Понимание процессов, причин и следствий не очень помогает именно в этой области, если только вам не повезло найти единомышленников с близкими взглядами и паттернами поведения.
Главы же про организацию рабочего и городского пространства, напротив, дают отличный концентрат результатов исследований в этой области. Некоторые советы могут быть полезны менеджерам и малым стартапам, которые все еще гибки в структуре.
Фактов, поразивших меня, я, к сожалению, не узнала.

[Yahya · Rating 3 out of 5]

Oh, Wooow.

So many ideas about the new norm of modern human life structure is summed up in this book; I-gene, parental relationship, dating, management, workplace, hipsterism, city design,,,,,,,,

I think it is structured in a good way with some tips given by the author along the way.

However, I am not sure why but I didn't enjoy reading the book. It gave me that feeling of "it's not meant for you."

[Miki · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars. I could really relate to some parts of this book, in particular the chapters on how you can be lonely at work. I've never seen this documented anywhere else. So this book made me feel understood in a way I never have before.

This was easy for me to read before going to sleep, which non-fiction never is. I think I'm going to buy a copy of this for my e-reader.

[Meg 🌞]

dnf @ 15%

feeling a little too hrr brr screens are bad and thomas edison was a witch, plus indicting children for existing in the context they are born in? just could not see myself reading ten more hours of this audiobook

[Lucia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I learnt a lot from this, I think the world would be a better place if everyone listened to/read this book and considered what it tells us about the way we live and interact with each other in the world.

[Missyd · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting way of presenting diverse research and personal experiences about loneliness. The later half was about urban planning and that didn’t flow as well with the rest of the book.

[Helen Blunden · Rating 4 out of 5]

Video review to follow.

[Kathy Cramer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Don't be afraid to unplug. Use balance with everything.

[Frankie Pullar · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting although unsurprising findings. It was very long-winded for what was summarised in the final chapter.

[Deb Kingston · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fabulous read from first to last page, very informative and invaluable reading for all ages to have connectivity with humanity and community.