The Essence of Nathan Biddle by J. William Lewis was one of my favorite books, so far, recommended by a friend who won the book in a giveaway. I want to thank them for passing the book on, and and I want to thank the community, the author and the publisher for promoting this book as it gave me the ability to read it! Lewis gives readers a lot to think about, regarding the character and themself as he presents a young man, right at the turning point of entering college, at the end of his high school career at Bridgewater, a private school, as he searches for the meaning of his life to find out what to do with his future.
Obsessed with a girl who no longer wants him, philosophizing about any and everything under the sun with friends who are like minded individuals, unable to commit to a schedule or team and after school activities, Kittridge Carr Biddle, the young man and central character of the book, struggles with. His whole identity centers around something that happened to Nathan Biddle, his cousin, his brother, his twin, whomever he may be to Kit, Nathan was an important part of his life growing up and what happened to him, more important than ever to what Kit will discover about himself as he struggles over what happened. The central question, as always when bad things happen that we don’t understand is, “why”. But, even more, Kit struggles with how what happened in his family define’s him now, and in the future, as he is at the cusp of leaving home, starting college on his own and becoming a man.
When Kit is found lying in the middle of the road, many assume, like his father, he tried to commit suicide by crashing a car (as Kit did). He finds himself seeing Dr. Herschel Gross, who wants to help Kit try and figure out who he is, and not just “an eighteen-year-ol Caucasian male, mentally alert, apparently sound physically except for a compound fracture of the right femur”. If life were so simple as to be able to accept such an easy explanation about oneself, all in the world should be happy and mentally sound. Nothing in life is ever simple. We all know that. And, because of his family history, Kit is far from simple and Dr.Gross wants to help Kit work through the issues that are holding him back, from his past. In particular, his family and their history.
Kit and Dr. Gross begins with the Carr/ Biddle family history, and, like most people, it includes stories about individuals in the family that ultimately, in the end, with their results on the individuals, end up inflicting trauma on Kit, however indirectly. For instance, Kit’s grandfather was married a second time, after Virgigina Carr, his first wife dies to a schoolteacher, Millie Ogden, who produces his Uncle Newt and dies during the birth. Uncle Newt and Kit have always had a special relationship, no matter how out of hand his uncle's life has gotten, he always seems to appear and directly affect Kit in some way.
Thomas Carr Biddle, his father, crashed his car while drinking into a bridge abutment. The drinking started after his involvement in the war when he joined the army in 1942, a year after Kit was born. Wounded, his father had spent a year in military hospitals and Kit was told his father had fought a lot with his older brother, Uncle Nat (by, of course, Uncle Newt). Although Kit does not remember him, his father, after the war “looked and acted like Bigfoot on a moonshine bridge”.Kit’s mother acted a lot like a mother to Uncle Newt who was much younger than his brothers (Kit’s father and Uncle Nat). Though he lived across the road from Kit and his family, he spent a lot of time in Kit’s family home. After his father’s death, Uncle Nat and Kit’s mother became Uncle Newt’s tutor. In turn, Uncle Newt became Kit’s tutor and made all the things real in Kit’s mind. Since Kit’s grandfather, education was thought best to be given in the home as local schools were thought to not give a good one. Therefore, members of the family, the eldest ones, always taught the younger. No matter how crazy the individual family members' lives ended up, they were an educated brood of deep intellectuals which continues with Kit.
And then there was Nathan, Uncle Nat’s son. Nathan’s mother died when Kit was nine and, while it was said, by her husband, that she died of a broken heart she really died of breast cancer. The nurse of Uncle Nat’s father, she left the home when Uncle Nat joined the army and would never come back. Nathan and Kit were born on the same day which led to confusion, in the future. Since Kit knows when Uncle Nat and his wife were married, as the math doesn't work out, to the day Nathan was born, Kit thinks he may have been premature. Hannah, Nathan’s mother, was only 18 when they married. Uncle Nat had “something” mentally wrong with him after the war and spent a lot of time on his sermons about the nature of sin, the causes, the consequences of sin, over and over and as he preached them they got longer and longer, though no one in the family thought him unstable at the time. They really should have been paying better attention.
Nathan is always there, in Kit’s memories. Though they looked alike, that is where the similarities ended. He was a simple boy since birth and Kit believes (as I'm sure everyone else had) that something had gone terribly wrong at birth. What and if that happened was never discussed with Kit, so readers are left to think the truth for themself as to what could have occurred. Nathan was Kit’s only playmate. Nathan didn't say a word until he turned five or six years old though Kit denies ever thinking much about the disparity between the two boys, so close they were, despite the large differences. They didn't think Nathan could read but would look at the dictionary at the age of three and when he was five, if given a word, would turn to that word in the large book. Nathan seemed to know all these things without ever giving the impression he was paying attention.
Nathan began reciting poetry at the age of nine. Then, after getting the hang of poetry, began repeating a rhyme, rhyming everything. He would repeat the rhymes over and over. Diagnosed with autism, the behavior is nothing new when you look at the behavior of other children on the spectrum, all with their own, unique ways of communicating with the world, information and individuals around them. Nathan also had epilepsy and seizures because of it which were bad for all those involved. And, as the Doctor notes to Kit, as they discuss all this, Kit’s past with Nathan, “In an environment of relatively high intellectual achievement, he must have presented interpersonal challenges.” And, what happens to Nathan, in the end, can only be construed as “complicated.” Because, why did it happen? Was it Nathan’s own psychological problems that caused the outcome, his father’s, or both put together, the pressure psychologically of everything?
Nathan’s father, when he was older and more active, had a “harness” for his son. This, basically, dictates the beginning of Nathan’s end, in my eyes. Because when you have what is basically a straight jacket that leaves the individual's arms free that is strung by a cable to a tree tethered to a child, a device like that only foreshadows future trauma, whether it be infliction of more or damage from the current infliction. And, the child is left to run back and forth in the harness on a cable alongside the house. Though a solution to the problems of the child, and, with the little that was known on how to treat autism in the 1950’s, the fact that a contraption meant more for a wild animal is being used for a child, readers can only expect there will be more trauma to come.
Of course, speaking about what happened is hard for Kit, the day that Nathan died. Kit’s uncle, Nathan’s father, had given him some complex math problems to work on, intellectual development always the focus of the family. Having a child like Nathan, one who couldn't be understood by the family members, must have been hard. And, the fact that no one tried to ever figure out a way in which to communicate with the child, figure out what Nathan meant by any of the rhymes he said, in a family that is always working on trying to solve and learn academics, says how dismissive they were about the child, foreshadows a bleak future for the child within the family.
A family of academics that had been presented with a child with large psychological issues, when presented with Nathan, his learning and communication skills different because of the issues he was born with, do nothing to learn how to interact with Nathan in any way. The boy was able to learn things, recite massive amounts of poetry and find words people said in the dictionary at a young age. It was as if Nathan was speaking in an unknown language that no one could understand. Something was there to discover, someone was there expressing himself but, in his own, secret and unknown way. No one in the family could understand Nathan. And, since Nathan was different from the family no one wanted to. While the family could have looked at Nathan’s disabilities as a challenge in communicating with him, the family dismissed him, regardless. Even the chant that Nathan had about a train breaking down in the town where his mother lived, they all thought it was gibberish, even Kit. No one thought Nathan had anything to say because he didn’t speak “their language”, “their way”.
Nathan died on June 30, 1953. And, since I have said more in this review than I intended, presented a lot for the reader to think on even when not presenting the horrific details of Kit’s cousins death, at the hands of his father, I believe that you should pick up the book and read it for yourself to find out anymore than what is here as it is necessary to read this whole story to understand, well, the essence of it. And, while this book is really about Kit, I think that the book was titled such because the only thing in the world left of Nathan that is thought about and understood in the world, all that remains, is Kit and his memories of Nathan. Kit is the essence of Nathan Biddle for so many reasons. And, it is the essence of Nathan Biddle that has left Kit so much to think on and question, when it comes to his life and, most especially, his future. This is a book everyone needs to read once as it presents many questions and thoughts about the people a person has in their life and how they help define us. And, how the actions that happen to an important person in our life can impact us, change us, and help define who we are even when they are no longer here. They are our essence as we all that remain of them, are theirs.
Happy Reading!