Healing Contentious Relationships: Overcoming the Power of Pride and Strife

by Thomas Parr

Are you frustrated by how easily relationships can fall apart? So often in the moment we ask ourselves, 'How did we get here?' If you are looking for a solution that not only helps you reduce the emotional temperature but also would have reduced the flare-up in the first place then Thomas Parr has trusted, biblical answers. Healing Contentious Relationships will help you get to grips with the way pride, covetousness, and unbelief cause us to mistreat others and how God grants grace in Christ to resolve such tension. Treat your war-weary soul to answers from the Spirit of peace.
Table of
The Cause and Pattern of Strife
Confronted as Sinners
God's Grace The Main Solution to Sin and Strife
Coming to God in Humble Repentance
Affliction and Humble Sorrow
Another Expression of Pride Subtly Judging God
Another Expression of Pride A Self-Sufficient Spirit

Genres: Theology

128 pages, Paperback

Published January 13, 2021

Reviews

[John Brackbill · Rating 4 out of 5]

Words that describe this book are: Pastoral, Depth, Experiential, Expositional, Applicational, Wise

James 4 is a major interstate connection within biblical revelation when counseling people in their battle against sin. The specific context is in the area of relational sin. That is why the subtitle of this gem of a book is "Overcoming the Power of Pride and Strife."

I will be handing this out to folks going forward. Coming in at 116 small pages, it is not intimidating. Thomas Parr also is concise and judicious with his words. The reader will feel as if he or she has been counseled by the author from scripture.

Helpful:

"All sin can be boiled down to pride, covetousness, and unbelief" (4)

"It is crucial to see the difference between circumstantial and efficient causes. The efficient cause of an action is the real cause of it; a circumstantial cause just provides the setting in which the efficient cause manifests itself" (6)

"Believing the good news that God is generous and large-hearted is fundamental to relaxing and trusting Him and praying to Him, not to mention being a peacemaker with others" (11)

"IN short, James says that our lack, the lack over which we can cause strife, comes from two things: (1) a lack of faith in the generous God, which leads us to fail to seek all things from His hand, and (2) a covetousness that leads us to make even our prayer life about ourselves. Again, this boils down to pride, covetousness, and unbelief. The same things that cause us to mistreat people cause us to mistreat God in prayer" (15).

"When Christ died, all our sins were nailed to the cross, even our future ones (Col. 2:13-14). This means that there can be no skeleton rumbling from the closet that will cause God to recoil and reject us" (58)

"Sometimes people fear making efforts at outward change because they don't have a heart to obey; they fear being Pharisees...I fear they think there are only two options--heartless obedience or inactivity...With promises like these, we can be assured that there is a glorious third option--Spirit-empowered obedience from a changed heart that is gloriously free. To remain in inactivity is to deny that God can and does change the heart. To use heartlessness as an excuse not to serve is to deny the promises of God. It is to say that GO d has stopped giving the desire to obey" (64).

"Though joy and sorrow are very different emotions and do not seem to go together, it must be remembered that true repentance does lead to joy in Christ" (72)

[Lindsey Moore · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a very exegetical explanation of James 4. It also asks great questions to help the reader see their heart in strife. I appreciated how the author opened with Proverbs 13:10, “By pride comes nothing but strife.”

[Vanessa M. Lee · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is an in-depth look at James chapter 4. I liked how the author gave detailed, thought provoking questions at the end of each chapter that allowed you to remember what you just read! I highly recommend this book to those interested in their spiritual growth and desire to live daily to glorify God!

[Samantha Robertson · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read half of it and wasn’t a fan.
I don’t like the way it’s written. And my sum up of everything I read so far would be “If you want better relationships stop being prideful” and while that’s mostly true, it wasn’t what I was looking for in this book.

[Jason Mkrtschjan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best book I’ve read in two years. So practical, so convicting, Parr goes straight for the jugular. A must-read for anyone dealing with on-going relational friction. You won’t want ti hear it, but this book tells you what you need.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

(I listened to this on audiobook.)

[Isaac · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good.

[sincerely · Rating 5 out of 5]

4-5 stars

In only 116 pages, Thomas Parr impressively provided real, convicting, pastoral, serious council on healing contentious relationships. This is not about creating boundaries or forgiving a toxic person - it is about seeing the pride in yourself. What do we ourselves bring to difficult relationships?

Leaving no stone unturned, the author uses James 4:1-17 to address things like the necessity of humble sorrow and repentance, the cause and pattern of strife, the pride of subtly judging God, and the pride of a self-sufficient spirit. Woven throughout is a pure gospel message! This book was helpful to me and I think it would be to many others as well. Thank you to Reformation Heritage Books for the gifted copy. All opinions are my own! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️