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Belonging: The Ancient Code of Togetherness
THE #1 INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLER THAT INSPIRED THE ENGLAND FOOTBALL TEAM
'Gareth Southgate's secret weapon' - Guardian
'A copy of Eastwood's new book, Belonging , was given to every England player when they reported for duty at the European Championships' - Telegraph
'How Maori belief is driving the England team to seize the moment' - Sunday Telegraph
'Belonging is a must-read for anyone interested in building a long term high-performing team.' - Stuart Lancaster
'One of the wisest books about winning you'll ever read...Powerful lessons beautifully expressed.' - James Kerr
In BELONGING Owen Eastwood reveals, for the first time, the ethos that has made him one of the most in-demand Performance Coaches in the world. Drawing on his own Maori ancestry, Owen weaves together insights from homo sapiens' evolutionary story and our collective wisdom. He shines a light on where these powerful ideas are applied around the world in high-performing settings encompassing sport, business, the arts and military.
Whakapapa is a Maori idea which embodies our universal human need to belong. It represents a powerful spiritual belief - that each of us is part of an unbroken and unbreakable chain of people who share a sacred identity. Owen places this concept at the core of his methods to maximise a team's performance.
Aspects of Owen's unique approach finding your identity story; defining a shared purpose; visioning future success; sharing ownership with others; understanding the 'silent dance' that plays out in groups; setting the conditions to unleash talent; and converting our diversity into a competitive advantage.
Whakapapa . You belong here.
'Gareth Southgate's secret weapon' - Guardian
'A copy of Eastwood's new book, Belonging , was given to every England player when they reported for duty at the European Championships' - Telegraph
'How Maori belief is driving the England team to seize the moment' - Sunday Telegraph
'Belonging is a must-read for anyone interested in building a long term high-performing team.' - Stuart Lancaster
'One of the wisest books about winning you'll ever read...Powerful lessons beautifully expressed.' - James Kerr
In BELONGING Owen Eastwood reveals, for the first time, the ethos that has made him one of the most in-demand Performance Coaches in the world. Drawing on his own Maori ancestry, Owen weaves together insights from homo sapiens' evolutionary story and our collective wisdom. He shines a light on where these powerful ideas are applied around the world in high-performing settings encompassing sport, business, the arts and military.
Whakapapa is a Maori idea which embodies our universal human need to belong. It represents a powerful spiritual belief - that each of us is part of an unbroken and unbreakable chain of people who share a sacred identity. Owen places this concept at the core of his methods to maximise a team's performance.
Aspects of Owen's unique approach finding your identity story; defining a shared purpose; visioning future success; sharing ownership with others; understanding the 'silent dance' that plays out in groups; setting the conditions to unleash talent; and converting our diversity into a competitive advantage.
Whakapapa . You belong here.
266 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 12, 2021
192 people are currently reading
1105 people want to read
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August 18, 2022There are almost no women in this book so it’s a great resource if you are working with teams that are only male and interested in sport or war. To be fair, the odd woman like Yuhui Chloe (ballet soloist) and Ali Riley (footballer) are mentioned but blink and you will miss the women. I got to page 238 of 302 and he mentioned gender differences regarding how men and women socially bond differently. However, he then goes on to describe male bonding. His daughter is briefly mentioned after this as she starts ballet as a little girl and he segues to work he has done with world class ballet performers and then uses three male examples. Women seem only to be on the peripheral and this is not Belonging for me.
August 28, 2021
Part reflective journal, part wisdom of tribes. This excellent book reflects on Owen Eastwood’s Maori /English Heritage to learn more about his ancestors and the culture principle of whakapapa - that people are connected not only to the past but also to the future. Talks about the New Zealand All Blacks and when players get the shirt, they learn about those who have worn the shirt before them and to think about how they will want to be remembered as an All Black. Notes that egos can be a real problem as it takes the shine away from the team - it’s our success not your success. Getting teams to understand that they are all part of something special lifts the performance. Uses countless examples of teams that he’s worked with on this from the South African Spring Boks to English Football - even researching why English football has 3 lions on the chest and teaching the team about what it represented. Highly recommend to anyone involved in leading or working with teams.
July 14, 2021
A completely different angle on what makes perform at their best. Great stories of how Owen has shaped the identity stories for the group's he has worked with and insights into his own life and culture that has shaped this understanding from his own heritage.
Refreshing in its simplicity, it make so much sense and highlights how we have complicated things and created an individualised world when our great advantage as a species has been our ability to work in numbers.
Thoroughly recommend to any coach, manager, leader or aspiring leader. I wish I had discovered this earlier in my career.
Refreshing in its simplicity, it make so much sense and highlights how we have complicated things and created an individualised world when our great advantage as a species has been our ability to work in numbers.
Thoroughly recommend to any coach, manager, leader or aspiring leader. I wish I had discovered this earlier in my career.
October 28, 2022
A fost una dintre cele mai placute lecturi din vara asta. Pe parcursul lecturii, mi-au venit foarte multe idei despre cum să creez o cultura la mine la munca, lucru pe care însă, simt ca am esuat cumva. Consider ca, in primul rând, trebuie să fii platit onest, ca să te poți gandi mai apoi la toate celelalte lucruri. Sper totuși să pot implementa idei de aici, fie in organizatia unde lucrez, fie in urmatoarea.
January 19, 2023
Extraordinara! O carte pur si simplu frumoasa. Felul cum scrie Owen este frumos. M-am indragostit de la prima pagina. Este despre mult sport, despre multe sporturi, cum este si despre leadership, viata, apartenenta. Ce conteaza. Incredibil.
August 25, 2021
Belonging: The Ancient Code of Togetherness by Owen Eastwood
An interesting read on high-performance cultures with a solid set of principles built on primal instincts rather than MBA speak. Loses its focus for the final third of the book where it begins to feel slightly rushed but a very interested read nonetheless.
///
When author of Belonging Owen Eastwood wrote to his ancient tribe he received a covering letter, tribal registration number and a detailed genealogy of his family line. This left him with a feeling of belonging. It was his whakapapa.
In Māori culture, the principle of Whakapapa places oneself in a wider context that links to land and tribal groupings and heritage. It offers a sense of immortality, attaching ourselves to something permanent in this impermanent world.
Eastwood describes it in the following way:
“Each of us are part of an unbreakable chain of people going back and forward in time. Back to our first ancestor at the beginning of time and into the future to the end of time. Each of us in this chain of time have our arms interlocked with those on either side of us. We are unbreakable. Together, immortal.
The sun rose in the east and shone on our first ancestor. Here is our origin story. Just as happens with each passing day, the sun slowly moves down this unbreakable chain of people. Each of us will have our time in the sun. But the sun is always moving. Moving towards the west, where it will finally settle.
When the sun shines on us we are alive, we are strong. For we have had passed down to us a culture that immerses us in deep belonging. We feel safe and respected. We share beliefs and a sense of belonging. We feel safe and respected. We share beliefs and a sense of identity with those around us and this anchors us. We share a purpose with them. We share a vision of the future. We fit in here. Rituals and traditions tie us together. The experiences and wisdom of those who walked in the light before our time are passed on to us.”
Beyond kin, this concept of Whakapapa frames our connection to any group we belong to. It is a universal idea and one that Eastwood has coached on around the world.
Working with the NATO Command Group, Eastwood invoked whakapapa to reflect on previous NATO Command Groups, looking at the challenges they faced when the sun shone on them and the legacies they ultimately left. They then previewed their own legacy as the sixteenth leadership team and articulated this in writing with a whakapapa legacy statement.
Our primal need to belong
Our ancestors deeply understood our primal need to belong, and now we’re beginning to see psychology and nueroscience begin to gather the proof for their instinct.
On the early grasslands, we carried obvious physiological disadvantages over other animals but from this brutal reality the super strength of Homo sapiens emerged: the ability to form strongly-bonded and highly effective groups.
Purpose is the starting point for any tribe.
This reliance on groups is evidenced by the fact we now know that after a cardiac arrest that strength of a social network is a greater predictor of survivability than exercise, nutrition or medication.
To feel a sense of belonging is to feel accepted, to feel seen and to feel included by a group of people, believing that we fit in, trusting we will be protected by them.
Leakage
When our need to belong is met we can focus on a team’s shared mission. We are comfortable being vulnerable in our quest to get better. We feel secure enough that others can point out where we could be better. Our own identity and that of the team coexist.
But there is another world. Where the hormone soup recipe is wrong and doesn’t allow us to be at our best. Clearly here is no performance benefit in this.
* We leak energy and focus by obsessing over the unsafe environment and relations around us and the pressure builds.
* Our working memory is interrupted by the noise of negative belonging cues.
* We struggle to toggle between tasks.
* We may become more aggressive, though we are likely to target that at those people who owe perceive as having lowered status than us.
At this stage a paradox plays out. We enter self-preservation mode as our mind begins to think about surviving rather than succeeding.
* We become preoccupied with fitting in and being accepted but we become withdrawn.
* We minimise moments of vulnerability.
* We avoid speaking up, let alone taking any responsibility.
Two worlds of belonging
We have become disconnected from each other. It all started with the Industrial Revolution where wee moved from workers possessing multiple skills and dynamically performing them, to production lines where rows of workers each performed a distinct role. Somewhere along the line here we’ve lost our humanity.
Ultimately, success is dependent on the strength of the group under pressure.
We can make people feel a deep sense of belonging immediately by giving an induction to the individual with an Us story, an induction to the history of the team or project and allow them to connect with that history and Us story personally. Even a personal conversation with the leader to explain the new recruits role within the tribe really helps.
An Us story tends to connect a team to their identity. A major part of the identity story may be the way they responded at a time of adversity - for instance an emotive story from one of the World Wars. It all helps to create a deep sense of belonging and consequently a deep focus on the legacy of the current team.
Making it personal
Sometimes individuals can spend all their time waiting for belonging cues that never come.
Eastwood was intrigued by the belonging cues that occur during a Royal Marines Commando Green Beret ceremony when new Commandos are inducted into the Marines. It was conducted in a deeply personal manner, with the Royal Marines understanding that the ceremony provided a critical opportunity to instil a deep sense of belonging.
They display an awareness that we retain the emotional feeling of a first experience much longer than the details of the encounter. The hosts connected immediately with the audience by highlighting a few family members’ birthdays as well as identifying former Royal Marines present. At the end of the ceremony Eastwood was shown a wall where there were photos of each graduating Commando class through the years. The message was clear - we are kin and everyone belongs here.
Belonging for all
A colonisation of belonging by an established few who enjoy status and power is common across groups and teams. Often, these pockets of power come from a dominant clique (status, class, gender, race, religion, education, schooling) and their view of the world becomes the default setting for the group.
A more inclusive approach is possible. It can be as simple as a belonging cue like coming over and sitting with a teammate at meetings (as a senior) through to asking for everyone’s views in team meetings.
The All Blacks have a fantastic whakapapa induction process / ritual that helps them in their quest for authentic inclusiveness. Each new player is presented with his shirt the night before his debut and then asked to speak to the team in the dressing room after their first match. They have a talk about the All Blacks 110 year history, what standards are expected and the need to establish your own legacy, and that when they are handed their first shirt they are told of their responsibility to hand it on in better shape than when you get it.
This induction is the most critical time as an individual is most open to this new experience - our first experiences have a long-lasting impact on our sense of being part of this team.
But it’s also important that ritual and traditions have a presence beyond the induction of new members to keep everyone connected and maintain their collective sense of identity. These may include a ritual to commence a new campaign, closure on certain events or chapters, and rites of passage events such as milestones and, importantly, beloved members transitioning out of the team.
The All Blacks created small groups within the team to give voice to every player. Deploying small groups is a way of disrupting the reluctance to articulate and instead fully respect authority the leadership of the group - a way of flattening the hierarchy.
Us and Them
The secret to our ability to form strongly-bonded and highly effective groups is storytelling. As in any story, there is a protagonist and an antagonist - in order for there to be an Us there has to be a Them.
We are wired to be extremely pragmatic and highly strategic in how we toggle between Us and Them. Eastwood grew up in an area where traditional schools were delineated between Catholics and Protestants. But when a regional sports team was created then both Catholics and Protestants would come together as a unified tribe against the region to the North of them.
In building teams, leaders need to understand that people are highly tuned to receive the story of Us. Herein lies an opportunity for leaders to connect with and influence teams at a deeper level. Great leaders widen the Us story so that every person in their group feels a genuine sense of belonging.
The Campfire
Once language emerged, Homo sapiens began congregating around the campfire to tell and share the Us story. This helped to promote our survival by keeping the group bonded together and aligned in the face of surrounding challenges.
The heroes in our stories personify the best version of Us. The villains fall into two camps: Them, but also the individuals within Us who are selfish - those who put themselves before Us and thereby risk our safety, stability and status.
Creating an Us story involves immersing yourself in three dimensions of an Us story: the past, present and future.
We reconnect to the past which requires understanding the heritage of a team and the tribe they represent. A whakapapa is moulded featuring key ancestors, moments and legacies of the team but also studied is the wider story of the tribe the team represents.
Connecting to the future requires asking what the team’s vision is - what they are working towards and what the environment needs to enable and drive towards.
Finally, there’s a focus on the present. Do we have a sense of identity that flows into everything we do? Do we see ourselves as an unbroken chain from our ancestors to those that follow in our footsteps? This is an area that often needs mending.
For this to have authenticity and meaning it has to be lived out day-to-day in our behaviours.
Extracting our values
‘Values’ are shorthand for our Us story. They are the beliefs we value as a tribe but articulated in a way that allows us to align our behaviours easily. We share a mental map of the world with those around us. They become a code for how we will live and work together. It is less about rules and more about the archetype of the person we aspire to be: a mix of standards (what we are expected to do) and prohibitions (what not to do).
Something that seems to have weakened over time is our ancestors’ skill in extracting our values from our Us story. Instead, it is common for values to be disconnected from an organisations Us story. They stand alone, lacking meaning or narrative.
We do not want our leaders’ personal beliefs forced upon us - we want our tribe’s authentic values articulated. And we don’t want rules - we want values to aspire to that define what it means to be part of our tribe.
If required, these values should in turn be able to be converted back into Us stories with real meaning. Every member of the tribe can take each value and talk about how that value corresponds with their own personal Us story that fits into the wider context of the teams. A true shared identity.
Identity Vacuum
We look to our leaders to be the storyteller-in-chief and expect them to personify our tribal identity. We do not want our Us story to be replaced with a leader’s Me story - a cult of personality with the rest of us as a supporting cast.
Neither do we exist merely to execute plans or strategies or KPI’s disconnected from an Us story. That is soulless.
Studies show how storytelling ability enhances a leader’s influence and power through shifting the hormonal state of the group. —> I should find powerful storytellers like Orran and work closely with them.
When our Us story is weak, we are weak. We should talk about how to do tasks, but it’s integral not to forget the what and why too.
Carving the pain into our walls
Strong cultures don’t airbrush history.
Why would you turn a blind eye to such a valuable lessons within our Us story? When a culture’s resilience is questioned through a mistake or malpractice, the story must be “carved into the walls” so that our descendants can learn from them.
We only get better by learning from past experiences, both good and bad.
Our Why
Slowly we have lost touch with our primal instincts as a creeping shift has taken place from ‘our’ purpose to ‘my’ purpose with individualistic societies in the Western world. These values - getting ahead of everyone else - work against our need to belong. They push a mindset of seeing ourselves against rather than with others.
Abraham Maslow’s ‘Hierarchy of Needs’ model says the base need for humans is physiological survival. The next level is safety, then our need for belonging. These are the three base needs. Once they are met, we move to the psychological need for esteem and then self-actualisation.
So what is the common ground between the collectivist and individualistic models of society? Personal meaning. Once a common purpose has been articulated, each person should have an opportunity to attach personal meaning to it. For those individualist societies, this part of the process is particularly important. They need space to work through how the collective purpose also enhances them personally.
Ubuntu
“The measure of our lives is our impact on others” - the Proteas (South African Cricket Team)
Sustaining success is very difficult from a hormonal point-of-view. Our dopamine system is anticipatory. We receive bursts in the pursuit of a goal rather than on the attainment of it. These bursts increase when the outcome is uncertain as opposed to guaranteed. This explains why we can feel so flat immediately after a major event or performance.
When South Africa were working on their culture they convened camps to address the issue. Camps are a great way of moving cultures on quickly.
* A space is created to discuss identity, purpose and any difficult issues.
* Eastwood regularly uses emotive films to share and also introduce new people to the team culture or help them along in defining it.
* Players for a team, for example, may be given their national team shirts and asked to write on them what it personally meant to play for that team. This visual activity is effective.
Renewal
Culture never stands still. Every day it shifts. How we deal with new stations redefines who we really are and how we really do things. When new people come into the environment and others leave, the dynamic changes. One of the great risks in sustaining a strong culture is where there is a transition between leaders.
Once a strong culture is set it’s essential that its foundations and relevance are regularly revisited by the team. Ideally, this is done before each new season or campaign. Some teams ritually do this, taking time out of training and often incorporating a shared experience.
On the Proteas, there is a ritual when welcoming new players. New players sit on bar stools in front of the team and a senior player acts at MC. Welcome. We do not judge you by how you perform tomorrow. You belong here. Just be yourself. There follows three time-honoured questions for each new player to answer in front of their teammates. The last one is: What impact does it have on others that you are a Protea? This refers back to their culture of ubuntu.
The Mission
The next question is who is our tribe?
For small business, their tribe may be defined at the start as the founders. Their mission is survival. Once their viability is established they then move on to making the enterprise sustainable over the medium term. As the business evolves, their definition of their tribe widens to include employees and customers.
In whakapapa terms, as the sun arrives on each generation their high purpose is passed on to them and they ask the question: what do we need to do to promote the wellbeing of our people? Therein lies their mission.
The Navigator
Initially a navigator’s strength came from their ability to simultaneously carry in their hands both a grand vision and an intimate understanding of the detail. For Eastwood’s ancestors the grand vision was new land, and the intimate understanding of the detail was the sun, the stars, and the constellations - all of which were used to navigate at the time.
Visioning is an essential ingredient in our super strength of creating teams. It gives people a chance to visualise and imagine what they’re working towards. We need to work from purpose to vision, to mission, and then to plan. Only 3% of leader’s time today is spent visioning, but 75% of workers expect their leaders to paint pictures of the future.
Foresight
“Researchers at Harvard University, led by Alvaro Pascual-Leone compared the brains of people playing a sequence of notes on a piano with the brains of people imagining to play notes. The region of the brain connected to the finger muscles was found to have changed to the same degree in both groups of people, regardless of wether they struck the keys pyhsically or mentally” - David Hamilton
Visualisation strengthens, with repetition, the myelin insulation of neural pathways that performers can lock into during their actual performance. The more insulation around these neural pathways, the faster the information transmits in real time. This can make the reaction automatic.. we have a preformed response and minimal need to consciously think through our actions.
Once more, the more emotional weight attached to a vision, the stronger these neural pathways will be. In his work, Eastwood has found that producing bespoke films of the team’s identity and vision particularly effective in creating this emotional weight.
During Roald Amundsen and Robert Falcon Scott’s 1911 race to be the first to reach the South Pole, one element that may have been underestimated is Amundsen’s success in deployin
An interesting read on high-performance cultures with a solid set of principles built on primal instincts rather than MBA speak. Loses its focus for the final third of the book where it begins to feel slightly rushed but a very interested read nonetheless.
///
When author of Belonging Owen Eastwood wrote to his ancient tribe he received a covering letter, tribal registration number and a detailed genealogy of his family line. This left him with a feeling of belonging. It was his whakapapa.
In Māori culture, the principle of Whakapapa places oneself in a wider context that links to land and tribal groupings and heritage. It offers a sense of immortality, attaching ourselves to something permanent in this impermanent world.
Eastwood describes it in the following way:
“Each of us are part of an unbreakable chain of people going back and forward in time. Back to our first ancestor at the beginning of time and into the future to the end of time. Each of us in this chain of time have our arms interlocked with those on either side of us. We are unbreakable. Together, immortal.
The sun rose in the east and shone on our first ancestor. Here is our origin story. Just as happens with each passing day, the sun slowly moves down this unbreakable chain of people. Each of us will have our time in the sun. But the sun is always moving. Moving towards the west, where it will finally settle.
When the sun shines on us we are alive, we are strong. For we have had passed down to us a culture that immerses us in deep belonging. We feel safe and respected. We share beliefs and a sense of belonging. We feel safe and respected. We share beliefs and a sense of identity with those around us and this anchors us. We share a purpose with them. We share a vision of the future. We fit in here. Rituals and traditions tie us together. The experiences and wisdom of those who walked in the light before our time are passed on to us.”
Beyond kin, this concept of Whakapapa frames our connection to any group we belong to. It is a universal idea and one that Eastwood has coached on around the world.
Working with the NATO Command Group, Eastwood invoked whakapapa to reflect on previous NATO Command Groups, looking at the challenges they faced when the sun shone on them and the legacies they ultimately left. They then previewed their own legacy as the sixteenth leadership team and articulated this in writing with a whakapapa legacy statement.
Our primal need to belong
Our ancestors deeply understood our primal need to belong, and now we’re beginning to see psychology and nueroscience begin to gather the proof for their instinct.
On the early grasslands, we carried obvious physiological disadvantages over other animals but from this brutal reality the super strength of Homo sapiens emerged: the ability to form strongly-bonded and highly effective groups.
Purpose is the starting point for any tribe.
This reliance on groups is evidenced by the fact we now know that after a cardiac arrest that strength of a social network is a greater predictor of survivability than exercise, nutrition or medication.
To feel a sense of belonging is to feel accepted, to feel seen and to feel included by a group of people, believing that we fit in, trusting we will be protected by them.
Leakage
When our need to belong is met we can focus on a team’s shared mission. We are comfortable being vulnerable in our quest to get better. We feel secure enough that others can point out where we could be better. Our own identity and that of the team coexist.
But there is another world. Where the hormone soup recipe is wrong and doesn’t allow us to be at our best. Clearly here is no performance benefit in this.
* We leak energy and focus by obsessing over the unsafe environment and relations around us and the pressure builds.
* Our working memory is interrupted by the noise of negative belonging cues.
* We struggle to toggle between tasks.
* We may become more aggressive, though we are likely to target that at those people who owe perceive as having lowered status than us.
At this stage a paradox plays out. We enter self-preservation mode as our mind begins to think about surviving rather than succeeding.
* We become preoccupied with fitting in and being accepted but we become withdrawn.
* We minimise moments of vulnerability.
* We avoid speaking up, let alone taking any responsibility.
Two worlds of belonging
We have become disconnected from each other. It all started with the Industrial Revolution where wee moved from workers possessing multiple skills and dynamically performing them, to production lines where rows of workers each performed a distinct role. Somewhere along the line here we’ve lost our humanity.
Ultimately, success is dependent on the strength of the group under pressure.
We can make people feel a deep sense of belonging immediately by giving an induction to the individual with an Us story, an induction to the history of the team or project and allow them to connect with that history and Us story personally. Even a personal conversation with the leader to explain the new recruits role within the tribe really helps.
An Us story tends to connect a team to their identity. A major part of the identity story may be the way they responded at a time of adversity - for instance an emotive story from one of the World Wars. It all helps to create a deep sense of belonging and consequently a deep focus on the legacy of the current team.
Making it personal
Sometimes individuals can spend all their time waiting for belonging cues that never come.
Eastwood was intrigued by the belonging cues that occur during a Royal Marines Commando Green Beret ceremony when new Commandos are inducted into the Marines. It was conducted in a deeply personal manner, with the Royal Marines understanding that the ceremony provided a critical opportunity to instil a deep sense of belonging.
They display an awareness that we retain the emotional feeling of a first experience much longer than the details of the encounter. The hosts connected immediately with the audience by highlighting a few family members’ birthdays as well as identifying former Royal Marines present. At the end of the ceremony Eastwood was shown a wall where there were photos of each graduating Commando class through the years. The message was clear - we are kin and everyone belongs here.
Belonging for all
A colonisation of belonging by an established few who enjoy status and power is common across groups and teams. Often, these pockets of power come from a dominant clique (status, class, gender, race, religion, education, schooling) and their view of the world becomes the default setting for the group.
A more inclusive approach is possible. It can be as simple as a belonging cue like coming over and sitting with a teammate at meetings (as a senior) through to asking for everyone’s views in team meetings.
The All Blacks have a fantastic whakapapa induction process / ritual that helps them in their quest for authentic inclusiveness. Each new player is presented with his shirt the night before his debut and then asked to speak to the team in the dressing room after their first match. They have a talk about the All Blacks 110 year history, what standards are expected and the need to establish your own legacy, and that when they are handed their first shirt they are told of their responsibility to hand it on in better shape than when you get it.
This induction is the most critical time as an individual is most open to this new experience - our first experiences have a long-lasting impact on our sense of being part of this team.
But it’s also important that ritual and traditions have a presence beyond the induction of new members to keep everyone connected and maintain their collective sense of identity. These may include a ritual to commence a new campaign, closure on certain events or chapters, and rites of passage events such as milestones and, importantly, beloved members transitioning out of the team.
The All Blacks created small groups within the team to give voice to every player. Deploying small groups is a way of disrupting the reluctance to articulate and instead fully respect authority the leadership of the group - a way of flattening the hierarchy.
Us and Them
The secret to our ability to form strongly-bonded and highly effective groups is storytelling. As in any story, there is a protagonist and an antagonist - in order for there to be an Us there has to be a Them.
We are wired to be extremely pragmatic and highly strategic in how we toggle between Us and Them. Eastwood grew up in an area where traditional schools were delineated between Catholics and Protestants. But when a regional sports team was created then both Catholics and Protestants would come together as a unified tribe against the region to the North of them.
In building teams, leaders need to understand that people are highly tuned to receive the story of Us. Herein lies an opportunity for leaders to connect with and influence teams at a deeper level. Great leaders widen the Us story so that every person in their group feels a genuine sense of belonging.
The Campfire
Once language emerged, Homo sapiens began congregating around the campfire to tell and share the Us story. This helped to promote our survival by keeping the group bonded together and aligned in the face of surrounding challenges.
The heroes in our stories personify the best version of Us. The villains fall into two camps: Them, but also the individuals within Us who are selfish - those who put themselves before Us and thereby risk our safety, stability and status.
Creating an Us story involves immersing yourself in three dimensions of an Us story: the past, present and future.
We reconnect to the past which requires understanding the heritage of a team and the tribe they represent. A whakapapa is moulded featuring key ancestors, moments and legacies of the team but also studied is the wider story of the tribe the team represents.
Connecting to the future requires asking what the team’s vision is - what they are working towards and what the environment needs to enable and drive towards.
Finally, there’s a focus on the present. Do we have a sense of identity that flows into everything we do? Do we see ourselves as an unbroken chain from our ancestors to those that follow in our footsteps? This is an area that often needs mending.
For this to have authenticity and meaning it has to be lived out day-to-day in our behaviours.
Extracting our values
‘Values’ are shorthand for our Us story. They are the beliefs we value as a tribe but articulated in a way that allows us to align our behaviours easily. We share a mental map of the world with those around us. They become a code for how we will live and work together. It is less about rules and more about the archetype of the person we aspire to be: a mix of standards (what we are expected to do) and prohibitions (what not to do).
Something that seems to have weakened over time is our ancestors’ skill in extracting our values from our Us story. Instead, it is common for values to be disconnected from an organisations Us story. They stand alone, lacking meaning or narrative.
We do not want our leaders’ personal beliefs forced upon us - we want our tribe’s authentic values articulated. And we don’t want rules - we want values to aspire to that define what it means to be part of our tribe.
If required, these values should in turn be able to be converted back into Us stories with real meaning. Every member of the tribe can take each value and talk about how that value corresponds with their own personal Us story that fits into the wider context of the teams. A true shared identity.
Identity Vacuum
We look to our leaders to be the storyteller-in-chief and expect them to personify our tribal identity. We do not want our Us story to be replaced with a leader’s Me story - a cult of personality with the rest of us as a supporting cast.
Neither do we exist merely to execute plans or strategies or KPI’s disconnected from an Us story. That is soulless.
Studies show how storytelling ability enhances a leader’s influence and power through shifting the hormonal state of the group. —> I should find powerful storytellers like Orran and work closely with them.
When our Us story is weak, we are weak. We should talk about how to do tasks, but it’s integral not to forget the what and why too.
Carving the pain into our walls
Strong cultures don’t airbrush history.
Why would you turn a blind eye to such a valuable lessons within our Us story? When a culture’s resilience is questioned through a mistake or malpractice, the story must be “carved into the walls” so that our descendants can learn from them.
We only get better by learning from past experiences, both good and bad.
Our Why
Slowly we have lost touch with our primal instincts as a creeping shift has taken place from ‘our’ purpose to ‘my’ purpose with individualistic societies in the Western world. These values - getting ahead of everyone else - work against our need to belong. They push a mindset of seeing ourselves against rather than with others.
Abraham Maslow’s ‘Hierarchy of Needs’ model says the base need for humans is physiological survival. The next level is safety, then our need for belonging. These are the three base needs. Once they are met, we move to the psychological need for esteem and then self-actualisation.
So what is the common ground between the collectivist and individualistic models of society? Personal meaning. Once a common purpose has been articulated, each person should have an opportunity to attach personal meaning to it. For those individualist societies, this part of the process is particularly important. They need space to work through how the collective purpose also enhances them personally.
Ubuntu
“The measure of our lives is our impact on others” - the Proteas (South African Cricket Team)
Sustaining success is very difficult from a hormonal point-of-view. Our dopamine system is anticipatory. We receive bursts in the pursuit of a goal rather than on the attainment of it. These bursts increase when the outcome is uncertain as opposed to guaranteed. This explains why we can feel so flat immediately after a major event or performance.
When South Africa were working on their culture they convened camps to address the issue. Camps are a great way of moving cultures on quickly.
* A space is created to discuss identity, purpose and any difficult issues.
* Eastwood regularly uses emotive films to share and also introduce new people to the team culture or help them along in defining it.
* Players for a team, for example, may be given their national team shirts and asked to write on them what it personally meant to play for that team. This visual activity is effective.
Renewal
Culture never stands still. Every day it shifts. How we deal with new stations redefines who we really are and how we really do things. When new people come into the environment and others leave, the dynamic changes. One of the great risks in sustaining a strong culture is where there is a transition between leaders.
Once a strong culture is set it’s essential that its foundations and relevance are regularly revisited by the team. Ideally, this is done before each new season or campaign. Some teams ritually do this, taking time out of training and often incorporating a shared experience.
On the Proteas, there is a ritual when welcoming new players. New players sit on bar stools in front of the team and a senior player acts at MC. Welcome. We do not judge you by how you perform tomorrow. You belong here. Just be yourself. There follows three time-honoured questions for each new player to answer in front of their teammates. The last one is: What impact does it have on others that you are a Protea? This refers back to their culture of ubuntu.
The Mission
The next question is who is our tribe?
For small business, their tribe may be defined at the start as the founders. Their mission is survival. Once their viability is established they then move on to making the enterprise sustainable over the medium term. As the business evolves, their definition of their tribe widens to include employees and customers.
In whakapapa terms, as the sun arrives on each generation their high purpose is passed on to them and they ask the question: what do we need to do to promote the wellbeing of our people? Therein lies their mission.
The Navigator
Initially a navigator’s strength came from their ability to simultaneously carry in their hands both a grand vision and an intimate understanding of the detail. For Eastwood’s ancestors the grand vision was new land, and the intimate understanding of the detail was the sun, the stars, and the constellations - all of which were used to navigate at the time.
Visioning is an essential ingredient in our super strength of creating teams. It gives people a chance to visualise and imagine what they’re working towards. We need to work from purpose to vision, to mission, and then to plan. Only 3% of leader’s time today is spent visioning, but 75% of workers expect their leaders to paint pictures of the future.
Foresight
“Researchers at Harvard University, led by Alvaro Pascual-Leone compared the brains of people playing a sequence of notes on a piano with the brains of people imagining to play notes. The region of the brain connected to the finger muscles was found to have changed to the same degree in both groups of people, regardless of wether they struck the keys pyhsically or mentally” - David Hamilton
Visualisation strengthens, with repetition, the myelin insulation of neural pathways that performers can lock into during their actual performance. The more insulation around these neural pathways, the faster the information transmits in real time. This can make the reaction automatic.. we have a preformed response and minimal need to consciously think through our actions.
Once more, the more emotional weight attached to a vision, the stronger these neural pathways will be. In his work, Eastwood has found that producing bespoke films of the team’s identity and vision particularly effective in creating this emotional weight.
During Roald Amundsen and Robert Falcon Scott’s 1911 race to be the first to reach the South Pole, one element that may have been underestimated is Amundsen’s success in deployin
October 5, 2024
For me it is a two star book because it does not reveal.much news about belonging. If you have not read about this concept at all and did not read Sapiens either, it can be a good enough read, an excellent one. I would recommemd this to any leaderwho has not yet understood the power of he team and belonging to it.
April 2, 2022
One of the best books I’ve read. Mr. Eastwood succinctly argues why belonging is so essential to humans and how we (society) can find our path again by doing the most life fulfilling act: serving others.
August 11, 2023
I love this book for couple of reasons. Reminds me of my student years(anthropology)but mostly it reminds about me(18 years old) and how important was the moment i trully decided something for myself guided not by rationality(so much unlike me) but by how I feel it( inside me, some are calling it instinct). The subject of the book itself is very well documented and covered with many stories that makes you reflect. This book enriches the way you're thinking on diversity, inclusion and belonging.
September 25, 2021
Interesting read, the second half picked up but I found the style a bit off putting. I enjoyed the examination of culture, identity and how teams fit together. Full of sporting stories of great team work which allow for insights.
May 10, 2023
Transformational
This book challenged my thinking on several levels. The concept of whakapapa is brought to light where life is not finite and that we simply need to do good for the people (tribes) around us is very powerful. Being a cricket and rugby fan, the real life examples brought it to life and made question how I can bring this into my life. A lot of practical advice that we as readers can instantly relate to the world around us. Have ordered several paperback copies to give away to close friends.
This book challenged my thinking on several levels. The concept of whakapapa is brought to light where life is not finite and that we simply need to do good for the people (tribes) around us is very powerful. Being a cricket and rugby fan, the real life examples brought it to life and made question how I can bring this into my life. A lot of practical advice that we as readers can instantly relate to the world around us. Have ordered several paperback copies to give away to close friends.
December 29, 2022
This was recommended by a facilitator on my employer’s leadership scheme. Rather like that scheme, I’m ambivalent about this book. It is very male. The focus is on men and men’s activity: there is for instance no consideration of e.g. how the England women’s football team has become such a success, having sizeable disadvantages compared to the men’s. Only two activities predominantly associated with women are mentioned: ballet and gymnastics. Both of these are disparaged: the first fir limiting creativity in favour of conformity (through discussions primarily of men’s experience) and the second fir bullying. I’m not saying those things are not true: however I would dispute categorically the impression that these features are limited to female-associated activities, and I would also question whether men are the ones primarily or exclusively damaged. That his 6-year-old daughter did not enjoy her ballet classes is not reason to condemn a whole art form anymore that a friend’s son’s bad experience at junior county level sport means that sport has no value either. Just a smidgeon more self-awareness of the banal limitations of statements such as ‘women do more team-building with conversation’ would have been good too: why is this the case? Essential femininity? Careful socialisation? Is there anything men’s teams might care to learn from that?
Despite this lengthy rant, it does explain ‘vision’ in a way that makes sense, and the difference from strategy. And I’d never have read it otherwise.
Despite this lengthy rant, it does explain ‘vision’ in a way that makes sense, and the difference from strategy. And I’d never have read it otherwise.
December 29, 2021
The book was okay, parts of the book felt a bit shallow. There were a lot of sporting stories and examples of things he had done or people he knew. I felt like some of the kupu Māori used were interpreted on a very surface level basis, that was reflected in the analysis, and in places made me feel uncomfortable with the way the word was used. Overall it was an interesting take on whakapapa and mātauranga Māori that definitely gave me food for thought and provided places that I want to explore a bit more in my own development.
July 31, 2021
A truely inspirational book. So much to take from reading this, not only for those leading teams but also applying it to your own well-being. Thank you so much for sharing your remarkable experiences.
August 18, 2021
Fantastic story telling to highlight the theme of the book. As a kiwi as well, thoroughly enjoyed the link back to whakapapa and ancestral knowledge/matauranga. Whether you are interested regarding the sporting context or otherwise I would recommend.
August 21, 2022
Belonging is a vital book for our disconnected and leaderless times. It’s one whose lessons should be taught in schools across the world, because the power of creating a sense of togetherness could help heal our fractured society.
Having worked with teams and organisations as varied as the South African cricket team, the Scottish rugby team, the England football team, and NATO, the author brings a wealth of knowledge about what makes a team successful. The book also shows that regardless of talent, teams can still underperform due to a toxic culture and a lack of belonging.
The author interweaves his own story and heritage into the book, and introduces us to the important idea of ‘whakapapa’. Eastwood defines this as, “When the sun is shining on us, we must be guardians of our tribe and of each other. This is how I have come to understand whakapapa.”
We are all part of a chain, one which stretches back into the past, as well as far into the future. Our role is to be a solid link within this chain, so that future generations have something to connect to and build upon. As Eastwood says, “A creeping shift has taken place from what is ‘our’ purpose to what is ‘my’ purpose.” The All Blacks rugby team is one that has strong whakapapa according to Eastwood, and this no doubt has helped them become of the most dominant teams in history.
There are plenty of other leadership tips in this book that are of importance to groups, movements and organisations. One of these is the importance of visualisation, not just to plan for things going right, but also for coping when things go wrong. Eastwood also speaks with teams about what they can control, and what they can’t. This enables them to focus on what’s in their power to influence.
It's been a humbling experience and a privilege to read Belonging, and I can only hope that the lessons shared in this book are applied widely across society, because they could help us overcome many of the pressing challenges we currently face.
Having worked with teams and organisations as varied as the South African cricket team, the Scottish rugby team, the England football team, and NATO, the author brings a wealth of knowledge about what makes a team successful. The book also shows that regardless of talent, teams can still underperform due to a toxic culture and a lack of belonging.
The author interweaves his own story and heritage into the book, and introduces us to the important idea of ‘whakapapa’. Eastwood defines this as, “When the sun is shining on us, we must be guardians of our tribe and of each other. This is how I have come to understand whakapapa.”
We are all part of a chain, one which stretches back into the past, as well as far into the future. Our role is to be a solid link within this chain, so that future generations have something to connect to and build upon. As Eastwood says, “A creeping shift has taken place from what is ‘our’ purpose to what is ‘my’ purpose.” The All Blacks rugby team is one that has strong whakapapa according to Eastwood, and this no doubt has helped them become of the most dominant teams in history.
There are plenty of other leadership tips in this book that are of importance to groups, movements and organisations. One of these is the importance of visualisation, not just to plan for things going right, but also for coping when things go wrong. Eastwood also speaks with teams about what they can control, and what they can’t. This enables them to focus on what’s in their power to influence.
It's been a humbling experience and a privilege to read Belonging, and I can only hope that the lessons shared in this book are applied widely across society, because they could help us overcome many of the pressing challenges we currently face.
October 11, 2021
This book could change the world.
The powerful metaphor it introduces to explain the meaning of ‘whakapapa’ (a concept held by Aotearoa New Zealand Māori) is so clear and meaningful, it surely can be used to make a difference. This concept is universal but in many cultures undervalued or even obscured by modern life.
Owen Eastwood’s interpretation of ‘Whakapapa’ is explained through rich story-telling, quotations and tales from other books, people and their experiences.
While the book and Owen are largely oriented around sport teams and situations, ‘Belonging’ is as significant (if not more so) in the realms of the workplace, home and wider whānau (family).
Youth suicide is a huge concern in Aotearoa and the world in general. If this book’s concept of belonging and the marvellous metaphor it uses to convey whakapapa could be taught to all children, surely fewer of our rangatahi (precious young) would question their place, their value, their purpose on Earth. And more people would understand their obligation to be 'good ancestors'.
Here is how the metaphor is described:
The sun rose in the east and shone on our first ancestor. Here is our origin story. Just as happens with each passing day, the sun slowly moves down this unbreakable chain of people. Each of us will have our time in the sun. But the sun is always moving. Moving towards the west, where it will finally settle. When the sun shines on us we are alive, we are strong. For we have had passed down to us a culture that immerses us in deep belonging. We feel safe and respected. We share beliefs and a sense of identity with those around us and this anchors us. We share a purpose with them. We share a vision of the future. We fit in here. Rituals and traditions tie us together. The experiences and wisdom of those who walked in the light before our time are passed on to us.
This book makes you think and feel. Hopefully it makes people act, also.
The powerful metaphor it introduces to explain the meaning of ‘whakapapa’ (a concept held by Aotearoa New Zealand Māori) is so clear and meaningful, it surely can be used to make a difference. This concept is universal but in many cultures undervalued or even obscured by modern life.
Owen Eastwood’s interpretation of ‘Whakapapa’ is explained through rich story-telling, quotations and tales from other books, people and their experiences.
While the book and Owen are largely oriented around sport teams and situations, ‘Belonging’ is as significant (if not more so) in the realms of the workplace, home and wider whānau (family).
Youth suicide is a huge concern in Aotearoa and the world in general. If this book’s concept of belonging and the marvellous metaphor it uses to convey whakapapa could be taught to all children, surely fewer of our rangatahi (precious young) would question their place, their value, their purpose on Earth. And more people would understand their obligation to be 'good ancestors'.
Here is how the metaphor is described:
The sun rose in the east and shone on our first ancestor. Here is our origin story. Just as happens with each passing day, the sun slowly moves down this unbreakable chain of people. Each of us will have our time in the sun. But the sun is always moving. Moving towards the west, where it will finally settle. When the sun shines on us we are alive, we are strong. For we have had passed down to us a culture that immerses us in deep belonging. We feel safe and respected. We share beliefs and a sense of identity with those around us and this anchors us. We share a purpose with them. We share a vision of the future. We fit in here. Rituals and traditions tie us together. The experiences and wisdom of those who walked in the light before our time are passed on to us.
This book makes you think and feel. Hopefully it makes people act, also.
July 25, 2025
I discovered Belonging on Spotify after hearing it recommended on the Dom Harvey podcast by New Zealand high school principal Tim O’Connor, and I’m so glad I did. Owen Eastwood’s exploration of belonging is both deeply moving and practical, weaving together the power of whakapapa, tapu and noa, and the importance of connection in shaping who we are. While much of the book focuses on high-performance sports teams, the concepts and values Eastwood shares are universal - relevant to workplaces, classrooms, families, and communities.
As a teacher, I found the Aotearoa focus particularly engaging. Eastwood’s insights made me reflect on the optimism I try to bring into my classroom, and how vital it is to create a sense of belonging for students. Many of my students come from incredibly tough backgrounds, but his words reinforced the importance of building spaces where every young person feels seen, valued, and capable of success.
This isn’t just a book about leadership or teamwork - it’s a heartfelt reminder of our shared humanity. Accessible, inspiring, and thought-provoking, Belonging is a must-listen for anyone wanting to foster connection and purpose in their lives.
As a teacher, I found the Aotearoa focus particularly engaging. Eastwood’s insights made me reflect on the optimism I try to bring into my classroom, and how vital it is to create a sense of belonging for students. Many of my students come from incredibly tough backgrounds, but his words reinforced the importance of building spaces where every young person feels seen, valued, and capable of success.
This isn’t just a book about leadership or teamwork - it’s a heartfelt reminder of our shared humanity. Accessible, inspiring, and thought-provoking, Belonging is a must-listen for anyone wanting to foster connection and purpose in their lives.
December 6, 2021
By far the best and most readable leadership book I’ve ever read! So relevant to so many situations, I think every leader, team member, principal, teacher and parent should read this book. I’ve pasted the last paragraph from the book above my computer because I am hoping this book will never sit long on the shelf. Can’t remember the full quote but it’s basically about ensuring the mana of every team member is not diminished but enhanced by being a part of your group. Belonging has always been important to me and I recognise so many situations and people I have worked with or still work with. This will need a re-read once I can get my hands on it again, I’m hoping I’m going to be asked to buy more copies.
March 7, 2023
Another from the SportsBiz CEO list. Quite enjoyed this one as it gave insights into many sports teams I’m familiar with. Also, as a Kiwi, the connection to whakapapa and other te ao Māori aspects and stories that he weaved in hit home a little more. The overall philosophy is one of those that seems like common sense in theory but is evidently much more difficult in practice. Can see why some reviews here think it was repetitive in places, though.
I’ve just noticed the title of this version Goodreads, funny that it refers to the English football team, didn’t see that when I added it to the app!
I’ve just noticed the title of this version Goodreads, funny that it refers to the English football team, didn’t see that when I added it to the app!
May 23, 2025
I must admit I am not really the right audience for this book. It has a lot of intriguing and probably powerful examples and lessons to ponder over, but one has to take life and one's role in it with some seriousness and gravity to truly buy into the messages Eastwood is trying to convey. Oh and it helps if one likes sport, because the book is mostly drawn from Eastwood's experience being a consultant to high profile sporting teams. Neither of this I think is of much import , but hey, each to their own.
January 18, 2023
Interesting perspective for coaches to take when it comes to teams. The importance of whakapapa and a team's "Us" Story, and the main goal of a team being leaving the org better than they left it is so important, and the idea of this all stemming from our ancestors is intriguing. I love the examples of how Eastwood applied this to the teams he worked with. I wish he had mentioned some examples of what DID NOT work as I feel that would have been just as if not more informative.
September 30, 2021
Definitely a book I would read again when I am in a position of leading people. A good insight to how to make cultural changes in a team environment with some nice examples of his journey with high profile teams. There is a lot to consider when leading a team and it’s worth investing in this book to try and understand the importance of different facets within a team.
November 23, 2021
If you want to understand what makes great teams great, Belonging: The Ancient Code of Togetherness will give you another piece of the puzzle. You'll also learn techniques to put Eastwood’s principles into practice. When you do that, you'll become one with the great teams of the past.
See my complete review at
https://www.threestarleadership.com/b...
See my complete review at
https://www.threestarleadership.com/b...
March 6, 2023
Phenomenal read and especially for any leader / aspiring leader in any aspect of life.
Only reason it isn’t 5 stars is because it feels like it is a jumbled collection of anecdotes / stories that don’t feel like they are linked in a way that takes you on the journey you could with a book as full of amazing tips, tricks, and life lessons as this.
Only reason it isn’t 5 stars is because it feels like it is a jumbled collection of anecdotes / stories that don’t feel like they are linked in a way that takes you on the journey you could with a book as full of amazing tips, tricks, and life lessons as this.
July 31, 2023
Am incredibly powerful and often emotional read about how inherent desire to belong. I am honestly convinced that the writers of Ted Lasso have read this as there are so many parallels throughout. How do we get the best from people? Create an inclusive vision, act with kindness, fairness and consistent, establish trust and involve all in building the ethos that will guide the team.
August 14, 2023
What makes teams greater than their achievements
Being a Kiwi I really enjoyed how Owen brought so much whakapapa and ancient wisdom to what makes teams really thrive. A great read for coaches, business leaders and anyone who has a desire to transform the heart and belonging in their teams.
Being a Kiwi I really enjoyed how Owen brought so much whakapapa and ancient wisdom to what makes teams really thrive. A great read for coaches, business leaders and anyone who has a desire to transform the heart and belonging in their teams.
March 8, 2024
It's a pretty insightful book for some of the mechanisms that help a
great team be the best.
It's also a nice read, going into stories of how the principles described have
evolved, and how they helped some teams excel beyond everyone else
(and how some others failed despite having - on paper - the best credentials)
great team be the best.
It's also a nice read, going into stories of how the principles described have
evolved, and how they helped some teams excel beyond everyone else
(and how some others failed despite having - on paper - the best credentials)
June 16, 2024
3.5⭐️. Interesting and I very much agree with his thoughts on belonging being crucial. But there was something about this book that I found a bit off putting and I can’t quite put my finger on it? Maybe just that there were so many male sports based anecdotes when I’m not that invested in male sport? Maybe that the ideas seemed great in principle but hard to translate in practise. I’m not sure.
October 23, 2021
I loved this beautiful book - so much depth, so many stunning stories. This man is a legend in his own right & he has weaved these stories into the beautiful ideas & values of whakapapa which should make every New Zealander proud.
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