Eating Salad Drunk: Haikus for the Burnout Age by Comedy Greats

by Gabe Henry, Aparna Nancherla (Introduction), Emily Flake (Illustrations)

Jokes and haikus have a common goal: to pack the greatest punch in the most succinct way possible. In Eating Salad Drunk, today's biggest names in comedy come together to do just that, with hilarious, poignant, and (sometimes) dirty haikus about living and coping in our modern burnout age. Contributors include Jerry Seinfeld, Michael Ian Black, Aubrey Plaza, Margaret Cho, Maria Bamford, Ray Romano, Aparna Nancherla, Ziwe Fumudoh, Chris Gethard, Sasheer Zamata, Colin Mochrie, Zach Woods, and many more! Curated by Gabe Henry, author and manager of the popular Brooklyn comedy venue Littlefield, Eating Salad Drunk's topics include:



-Modern Romance
-Friends & Family
-Screentime
-Nature Calls
-Food
-Entertainment
-The Struggle is Real
-Words of Wisdom, and
-Self Love & Loathing

The book also includes 50 super-relatable black and white drawings by New Yorker cartoonist Emily Flake, as well as a foreword by stand-up comedian and actor Aparna Nancherla (Crashing, BoJack Horseman, Inside Amy Schumer).

Eating Salad Drunk is the perfect gift for any fan of humor as an escape from our dystopian present.

*All author proceeds go towards Comedy Gives Back, a nonprofit that provides mental health, medical, and crisis support resources for comedians.

Genres: Poetry, Humor, Nonfiction, Comedy, Adult, Anthologies, Ebooks

240 pages, Hardcover

First published February 22, 2022

About the author

Gabe Henry is the author of three books including the poetry anthology "Eating Salad Drunk" (Vulture's Best Comedy Books of 2022), a humor collaboration with Jerry Seinfeld, Margaret Cho, Ray Romano, Mike Birbiglia, Janeane Garofalo, Roy Wood Jr., Michael Ian Black, Bob Odenkirk, George Wallace, Maria Bamford, and other titans of comedy.​

His forthcoming book, "Enough is Enuf" (HarperCollins), is about the little-known "Simplified Spelling Movement" and its many (failed) attempts to change "through" to "thru," "laugh" to "laf," and "enough to enuf" (tu naim a few) in an effort to pare down all words to their simplest spelling.

Reviews

[Steph · Rating 2 out of 5]

If you hold a shell
Up to your ear, you can hear
How lonely you are.
(emily blotnick)

eating salad drunk is a collection of modern-day haikus contributed by a large group of comedians.

It's so cold - you can
See your breath go, "I'm leaving,
This body suckssssss."
(aparna nancherla)

i appreciated the introduction, which explains that traditional haikus were often written to be humorous. the foreword also mentions that the poems here were compiled with an awareness of their timeliness, as internet culture has turned brevity into the norm. i guess three-liners are all our short attention spans can handle?

much as i wanted to love this short collection, it was ultimately disappointing. the title is what initially caught my eye, because i personally LOVE to eat salad drunk. i expected a lot of fun, relatable little nuggets. but here's the title haiku:

Eating salad drunk
Is both irresponsible
And responsible.
(josh gondelman)

much less clever than i'd hoped. and that's the trend for much of the book. something relatable is mentioned in haiku form, but that's all. not as much humor and insight as a book like this should have. (or maybe i just don't have the right sense of humor)

anyway, here are some poems i enjoyed:

Doctors always say
Just listen to your body
Mine screams constantly.
(colin mochrie)

Why can't we condense 
David Byrne and David Lynch
Into just one guy?
(josh gondelman)

^^ i loved this one, as i have had that exact thought myself!!

I'm such a Leo
That I don't even believe
In astrology.
(michael ian black)

^^ as a leo who identifies as a cancer - same.

Therapy's not cheap
But neither are the weighted
Plush sloths I buy drunk.
(sierra katow)

Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for providing me with a copy of this book in return for an honest review.

[Lori · Rating 3 out of 5]

This little confection was excerpted in The New Yorker and I got it immediately. Haiku by comedians? Yes, please. I haven't read a very funny book since Men to Avoid in Life and Art, which like most was hit or miss but I re-read it sometimes, and I only need to think of the best to laugh.

I laughed at maybe a third of these but when I laughed it felt so good and reading many again I'm laughing again. That's worth something to me. I got the e-book which has one, occasionally two haiku per page which, although it certainly sets them off, seems like a waste. From time to time there are uninspired illustrations that also take up their own page. Maybe the print version is different.

It's stated at the end that "All author proceeds from this book will benefit Comedy Gives Back, a nonprofit providing resources for comedians struggling with substance abuse and mental illness, and whose livelihoods have been affected by COVID-19. Okay, every bit helps.

Here are some of the ones I liked best, with my least favorite one mixed in.

😶

What is a haiku?
How many syllables per— …
Siri, what is a
ZACH WOODS

😶

Imagine my grief
When I learned Beat Bobby Flay
Is about cooking.
ARIEL DUMAS

😶

Do anti-vaxxers
Have their own dating websites?
Hot shingles near you
ARIEL ELIAS

😶

Son’s first to-do list:
Count to five. Sing alphabet.
Kill Dad. Marry Mom.
JOSH COMERS

😶

Do I Feel Like Doing Anything?

no no no no no
no no no no no no no
no no no no no
ZIWE FUMUDOH

😶

I’ve said it before
And I will say it again.
I’ve said it before.
ARIEL ELIAS

😶

Love when books have pics
In the middle. They’re saying
“Take a break, big guy!”
LUKE MONES

😶

“Fuck, Marry, Kill: The
O. J. Simpson Story.” Next
On ESPN.
MYKA FOX

[Chandra · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a delight and had me smiling or snickering pretty much the whole time I read it. It’s a quick, silly, little read that I definitely recommend to lift your spirits. I will totally be buying a copy when it comes out in September!

[David Wineberg · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great formula: get a bunch of comedians to submit jokes in the form of Japanese haiku. This means three lines, five, seven, and five syllables. They can do it, and they have done a terrific job of it in Eating Salad Drunk, under the auspices of Gabe Henry on text and Emily Flake on illustrations.

It turns out that haiku was originally about amusement. It wasn’t expected to be the deep thought-provoking pseudo philosophical mystery that westerners assume. Haiku is actually fun. So humorous haiku is all but redundant.

The poems are divided into chapters by subject, like food, show business, relationships – all the things comedians spend their lives honing. They are forever testing, reducing and amplifying their lines, their jokes – and their whole acts – for the most effective returns – the laughs.

It’s such a wonderful collection, I had difficulty limiting a sampling to show you.

One thing that came to mind on page after page, is that these haiku read like Stephen Wright jokes. His whole act, I now realize, is haiku, not one liners. He is a master of haiku and ironically, or unfortunately, he is not represented in this book at all. But I could hear his dry voice reciting these lines. See for yourself if most of these could come from Stephen Wright:

I’ve said it before.
And I will say it again.
I’ve said it before.
(Ariel Elias)
**********
Can we use “hashtag”
To describe when someone throws
Potatoes at brunch?
(Natasha Vaynblat)
*********
Dance like no one sees.
Sing like no one hears. Moral:
Don’t have a roommate.
(Alonzo Bodden)
***********
“Human connection
Is what life is all about”
She typed on her phone.
(Amanda Lund)
**********
You guys, I did it.
Hot dogs with Goldfish crackers.
The saddest dinner.
(Christian Finnegan)
**********
Cafeteria.
Café plus bacteria?
I will eat at home.
(Myq Kaplan)
**********
I’m the silent type.
She’s the silent treatment type.
We both nod a lot.
(Steve Mittleman)
**********
It’s hard to find good
Underwear when you steal it
From the laundromat.
(Natasha Vaynblat)
**********
Been putting off work
To watch videos about
Procrastination.
(Jim Tews)
**********
Sometimes I feel like
I’m the only narcissist
In the universe.
(Josh Comers)
**********
Thought I saw Groucho.
Moustache, glasses, funny walk.
Close, but no cigar.
(Elayne Boosler)

By the way, all proceeds from the sale of the book go to Comedy Gives Back, which helps comics “struggling with substance abuse and mental illness, and whose livelihoods have been affected by COVID-19.”


David Wineberg

If you liked this review, please read my book on my first thousand reviews and what I learned. It’s FREE for Prime members, otherwise — cheap! Reputed to be a fascinating and superfast read. And it has a whole chapter on humor, too. https://www.amazon.com/Straight-Dope-...

[Lenore · Rating 5 out of 5]

Never read haiku
Always thought it was boring
But you made me laugh

And oh my gosh did I ever laugh - sometimes just a snicker or a smirk, other times I laughed so hard I had the proverbial ‘tears in my eyes’. I don’t follow stand up comedy, so the names of the poets didn’t mean anything to me, but the haiku were brilliantly witty, sarcastic, or just plain funny - not at all like traditional haiku. So if you’re like me, and not fond of haiku with its ponderous subjects and weighty commentary, be daring and read this book. No spoiler, just a Spew Alert - limit food, because you will snort.

[Catie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Eating Salad Drunk is the sort of modern poetry book that the world needs right now. Going back to the origin of haiku, Henry discusses how Haiku was basically the Japanese version of a limerick. It was short, followed a specific structure, and used by the common person to pass along a good punch line. From the joys of binge watching to relationship advice to a healthy no. 2 this book covers it all. Written by a variety of authors, comedians, and other personalities, Eating Salad Drunk is a nice diversion and a way to give back. After all, all author proceeds go to Comedy Gives Back.

[MookNana · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a hoot! I'm so glad I got to read this and I think it's a wonderful idea for a wonderful cause. This would be a great gift for your goofy brother, or THAT uncle. These were all amusing, some laugh-out-loud funny (Damm, Dat Ass Dough!), and a few quite touching and poignant. It was a neat who's-who of comedians represented and I enjoyed the drawings that went with some of the haiku. I will definitely be looking for this when it comes out!

Many thanks the publisher and NetGalley for the opportunity to read and review!

[Brunette Librarian · Rating 4 out of 5]

Incredibly funny and an insightful view of the world through some of the most famous/hilarious people in our world today. I giggled and was surprised at how truly worldly this book was while navigating the cute and quick haikus. Interesting and frankly a little innovative, I hope this becomes a series because I truly enjoyed it!

[Kim Rude]

This book was such a fun book to read! The haikus were clever and I couldn't stop giggling. I loved how all the haikus were so true-to-life and relatable. I would love to have this book on my coffee table to re-read!

[Darcie Jenkins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Eating Salad Drunk is the ultimate gifting book for every 20 or 30-something in your life (maybe 40-somethings too but I don't know I'm not there yet)! While the haiku in the book do not always adhere to traditional writing guidelines, Henry explains this as an artistic choice. Witty and precise, the haiku throughout had me absolutely giddy. I also feel like the book introduced me to some modern comedic geniuses that I had never even heard of! Overall a wonderful collection that I plan to happily buy all of my friends! If you're into laughing at your own pain and the monotony of every day life, this collection is for you!

[Cheryl · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fun frolic through loosely categorized haiku from a bevy of today’s most influential comedians. Screen Time, Food, Friends & Family, Modern Romance, The Struggle Is Real, Nature Calls, Entertainment, Words Of Wisdom, and Self Love & Loathing all guide them into the structured parameters of verse. Interspersed with illustrations by Emily Flake, we are treated to such gems as by Jerry Seinfeld ~

Eggs over easy
Always has the appearance
Of a murder scene.

Or Luke Mones ~

My name is Luke but
My friends call me once every
Five to seven years.

Or Chloe Radcliffe ~

Buying gifts for Dad
Is just buying gifts for me
But on layaway.

Or Emmy Blotnick ~

If you hold a shell
Up to your ear, you can hear
How lonely you are.

Or my favorite, by Ariel Elias ~

I’ve said it before
And I will say it again,
I’ve said it before.

My thanks to Goodreads and St. Martin’s Press, from whom I won this tasty morsel. What a fun read!

[Geoff · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book while I was reading it. It was clever, funny, cutting. And it has some Haikus from some famous and funny comedians. That said, I think the impact of a comedic Haiku is blunted in the age of Twitter. The syllable limit is not the same as a character limit, but the search for short, clever, punchy, surprising jokes is very similar. So this was a fun collection, but I think it has a similar half-life to that of a tweet, and, similar to tweets, a week after reading as I write this review I can't remember a single poem.

This collection was
Quite fun but insubstantial.
Eating Salad Drunk

**Thanks to the editor, publisher, and NetGalley for a free copy in exchange for an honest review.

[Richard Propes · Rating 5 out of 5]

While Haiku purists may occasionally cringe, if you're a Haiku purist what are you really doing with your life anyway?

Gabe Henry's "Eating Salad Drunk: Haikus for the Burnout Age by Comedy Greats" is a weird and wonderful joy from beginning to end.

"Eating Salad Drunk" is a quick read. We are talking about Haiku, after all.

"Eating Salad Drunk" is the kind of book idea that comes buzzing into your mind after your fifth Starbucks of the day or after your third late-night bender in a row leaves you hallucinating little green gnomes dancing on your forehead.

A normal mind would never think of "Eating Salad Drunk."

Apparently, Gabe Henry is not normal.

The same could be said for a good number of the comedy greats, some incredibly well known and others of the "I've heard that name somewhere" variety, who've chosen to enthusiastically participate in this short but entertaining book in which these comedy greats tackle haiku in a variety of subjects such as :

-Modern Romance
-Friends & Family
-Screentime
-Nature Calls
-Food
-Entertainment
-The Struggle is Real
-Words of Wisdom, and
-Self Love & Loathing

The results are often hilarious, occasionally touching, once in a while quite snarky, but never less than unique and engaging.

The haiku (purists would also note that the plural of haiku is haiku NOT haiku - which makes appropriate grammar darn near impossible) are surprisingly faithful to the traditional format of haiku - a first line of five syllables, a second line of seven syllables, and a final line of five syllables.

Three lines. A whole lot of laughs.

While "Eating Salad Drunk" may not actually be a five-star book, it's ingenious comedy AND all author proceeds go toward Comedy Gives Back, a nonprofit that provides mental health, medical, and crisis support resources for comedians.

That, my friends, makes "Eating Salad Drunk" an absolute must-read and an absolute five-star in my world.

The book also features wonderful illustrations by New Yorker cartoonist Emily Flake and a foreword by comic and actor Aparna Nancherla. Contributors include Jerry Seinfeld, Michael Ian Black, Aubrey Plaza, Margaret Cho, Maria Bamford, Ray Romano, Aparna Nancherla, Ziwe Fumudoh, Chris Gethard, Sasheer Zamata, Colin Mochrie, Zach Woods, and many more.

Destined to be one of the best humor books of 2021, "Eating Salad Drunk" is an inspired and entertaining collection and all for a good cause.

Besides, who doesn't adore self-love and loathing in 17 syllables?

[Sean · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Tweets, ’grams, Snapchats, and TikToks—it seems everything these days can be boiled down to a few seconds or a minute of commitment as a consumer,” says Arpana Nancherla in her foreward.

It’s true, society today has no time for anything longer. We’re busy, busy, busy. And even looking at a meme for a second too long can seem unbearable. I have a number unread in my Instagram messages, and it seems the only time I get to indulge is on the toilet. Seriously. It’s pretty ironic that in the world of social media, we can spend hours scrolling then tell everyone that we have no time.

Gabe Henry states in his introduction, “From its earliest days, the heart of haiku poetry was humour.” He continues, “The roots of haiku, in fact, are right there in the word itself: haiku literally means “comic verse.”

This little book of gems had me laughing so hard within minutes I thought I’d wake my entire apartment building up. I lay awake into the wee hours submerged in this book, giggling myself to sleep, hanging onto every three line seventeen syllable haiku.

Hilarious and delicious, I gobbled Eating Salad Drunk from cover to cover within an hour, then wanted to read it all over again.

“Bought avocados.
Eleven organic ones.
Now I can’t pay rent.”
—Atsuko Okatsuka

As I neared the end, all I wanted was more. And then I realized I could literally just start all over again. I already want to order this book for friends, knowing exactly who in my life will love it as much as I did. It makes for a perfect gift.

Comic geniuses fill every page of Eating Salad Drunk. It’s bright, bold, and absolutely flipping brilliant. An easy read that is sure to bring a smile to your face. I enjoyed every minute, and my face hurts from laughing.

I adored this and it felt like a gift to get to read it early

I also love that all author proceeds from this book will benefit Comedy Gives Back, a nonprofit providing resources for comedians struggling with substance abuse and mental illness, and whose livelihoods have been affected by COVID-19. For information about how to donate, visit Comedy Gives Back.

Avocado Diaries

[J. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Eating Salad Drunk is such a fun and humorous collection of haiku poems! I really enjoyed reading the forward and introduction to the book which help to set the stage for the rest of the book. The book itself is broken down into sections including Screen Time, Food, and Modern Romance among others. I found myself laughing out loud at some of the inclusions in this collection. This book would be a perfect gift or copy table book that could be read over and over with favorites bookmarked. I would definitely recommend this light and fun read!

Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin's Griffin for providing an ARC of this title which did not affect the contents of my voluntary review. All opinions are honest and my own.

[Natalie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have not laughed this
hard, in quite some time and I’m
blaming folks near me

How do I become
friends with each person in this
book? Twitter help me

*opens twitter app*
Aubrey Plaza it’s me, your
new friend Natalie

Buy this book when it
hits stores, profits will go to
Comedy Gives Back

Big thank you to Net Galley and St. Martin’s Griffin for this ARC!!

[Morris · Rating 4 out of 5]

I got quite a few chuckles from these haikus and memorized a few to bring up at a later date. The best part is the proceeds go to help comedians with substance abuse issues. It's a total win/win situation!

This unbiased review is based on a complimentary copy provided by the publisher.

[كيكه الوزير · Rating 3 out of 5]

I limit myself
To one cup of coffee each
Five to ten minutes.
- Alyssa Limperis

I think the intention behind this collection is great. After having read a little bit about Japanese haiku and death poems, I was very surprised to learn about how witty and silly some of them can be even in the face of extremely grave happenings. The introduction here repeats briefly what I've heard before, which I found extremely interesting and would love to know more about. However, I'd say the goal is mostly missed. The majority of these haikus are just simply relatable top of the mind ramblings and shower thoughts. Most of them seem like they've been thought up in a hurry. The thing that makes the inspiration to them so enjoyable and worth reading is the juxtaposition of beautiful language, grave subject matter, seriousness and a silly or intelligently witty use of language to balance it in the opposite direction. Very few poems in this collection come close to that. But some do! And I appreciate them very much,

Shall I compare thee
To a summer's day? I think
You are kinda hot.
- Kyle Ayers

Having girl problems?
Take comfort knowing you have
Jay Z's sympathies.
- Scott Rogowsky

Let's talk TV shows.
Of all the big finales
Sopranos was the-
- Matt Gourley

What is a haiku?
How many syllables per-

... Siri, what is a
- Zach Woods

Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for the opportunity to read this and provide my honest review.

[Jennifer Lauren · Rating 2 out of 5]

There’s something about haikus. They’re either brilliant, or they feel like they’re written by a third grader. There’s hardly a middle ground. There were a handful in each category that I was like “OOH YUP!” - but unfortunately, many were a miss for me.

[Kimi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great novelty book--
A gift from my friend, Draper.
Should have been longer.

[Lexy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to read something fun, sadly this wasn’t it! That makes me sad.

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Pub date: Sept 2021
Whoever thought of getting comedians to write Haiku and put them together in a book is genius! I giggled and grinned my way through these, trying to stop and savor just a couple at time, but they went by so fast! This will be a fantastic holiday gift, just like the "Love Poems for Married People" by John Kenney was a couple of years ago. It also cool that the proceeds go to a charity: Comedy Gives Back, a nonprofit that provides mental health, medical, and crisis support resources for comedians. Fun and worth it!

[Betty · Rating 4 out of 5]

Haikus are fun. The ones in this book are funny. My favorite chapters were Food and Friends & Family.

In order not to overdose, I had to read a few pages per day instead of all at once.

I recommend you not read the lengthy introduction at first; save that for later.

Thanks to Netgalley and St. Martin’s Press for allowing me to read this. I’ll be back to re-read the haikus!

[Cassie Thompson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Received an ARC copy through Goodreads:
Most of the good material is in the last half of the book. I thought the illustrations were great, and love that this is being produced as a charity effort to support struggling comedians.

My favorite haiku:

I’ve said it before
And I will say it again.
I’ve said it before.

By Ariel Elias

[Claire (Wezet) Winternheimer · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love a good haiku, and these were absolutely hilarious and insightful. It was cool to read from so many contributors of celebrity status, as well as the less well known comedians. Incredibly poignant, true-to-life, and honest.

[Kathryn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book! Many of the haiku are laugh-out-loud funny (if you find sarcasm and snark plus wordplay and pessimism funny). I plan on getting it for my library and reading it aloud to whoever is nearby.

[S C · Rating 1 out of 5]

There are a handful of okay haiku in this collection, but most of them are really just dull tweets by unfunny comedians presented as poetry.

[Brianna Kinley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a comedic genius! It’s wit and real life scenarios will empathize with anyone going through similar situations.

[Elizabeth R. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thoroughly enjoyable.

[Homopoda davidbowie · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Eating dairy gives
Me hives, but I won’t just QUIT.
That’s not how LOVE works.”