Let's Talk About Aging Parents

by Laura Tamblyn Watts

Caring for an aging parent can raise a host of tricky questions, but these conversation-starting scripts, plus expert advice, will help you and your parent find answers.

Age-proofing an older relative’s living space, figuring out powers of attorney, spotting and dealing with signs of dementia, asking them to give up the car keys or consider assisted living . . . the first step toward tackling these concerns and more is an honest, informed discussion.

Here are prompts and road maps for twenty-seven essential conversations—with your parent, other family members, and health care providers—including:

Does my parent need help around the house?
What kind of medical issues should we look out for?
Do I really need to help my parents if they’re toxic?
How can my family share the caregiving load?


How to approach these topics is just as important as what needs to be said, so each chapter has tips for navigating complex emotions and finding shared ground when everyone has different ideas. You’ll get informed, have a productive discussion, and make a plan—so you can get back to making the most of your time with your parent.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Parenting, Family, Audiobook

256 pages, Paperback

Published April 30, 2024

Reviews

[Laura (thenerdygnomelife) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Attention sandwich generation — you need this book! I thought it did a wonderful job of running through the many things you will need to consider in supporting your parents through aging, from making accommodations in their living areas, to having tough conversations about power of attorney, to knowing when to bring in extra support. Watts also covers the challenging topic of what to do when the family does not agree on the best course of action. Let's Talk About Aging Parents is highly digestible and I breezed through it all in a day. My parents aren't yet dealing with many of these issues, but I appreciated the foresight and plan to keep my copy on hand for referring back to various sections as the need arises.

[Mary Torpey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent—clear, comprehensive, helpful advice for a wide variety of family situations and caregiver styles/temperaments. Highly recommended for anyone who is lucky enough to have older loved ones.

[Randal White · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm one of probably thousands of people who are at the point in their lives where we have do deal with the fact that our parents are facing difficulties in their independence. For years I have worried about what I was going to have to do at that point, much less how was I going to do it. It's incredibly difficult to realize that no one else is going to make the decisions, and that it's going to really hurt to take away my parent's freedoms.
Watts does a very good job of laying out the entire idea. How to recognize that your folks need help. How to find ways to help them. How to legally help them with decisions that they might not be able to make on their own. And, probably most importantly, how to have the difficult discussions with your parents. She gives good examples of how to approach the talks, giving little scripts that you might choose to follow.
I'm still dreading the discussions, but I feel like this book helped prepare me to have them.
Very easily readable and understandable, I read the entire book in one night. If you find yourself in this situation, I think this book could really help you.

[Colleen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a great resource. 5 stars. I hope you don't need to read this book; but it is good to know that if you need this resource, it is available.

This book covers A LOT of topics ... that you honestly (probably) don't want to think about.

I'm in the US, I made MANY calls to see if someone would/could provide the Montreal Assessment. Only one person returned my call and said that they would/could.

In each section author Laura Tamblyn Watts provides several "Conversation Starters" and also provides do's and don'ts for various situations.

I'm very glad that I read this book. I'm probably going to need to re-read some sections (and ignore some others), but I read every word in reviewing Let's Talk About Aging Parents and I'm glad that I did. Aging is constant, likely various sections will be your focus as time progresses.

Many thanks to NetGalley and publisher The Experiment for approving my request to read the advance review copy in exchange for an honest review. Approx 256 pages. Publication date is 4/30/2024.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

The best time to read this book is probably before you need it. My parents and in-laws are still in good health and living on their own, but this book has good tips for the inevitable day when we need to discuss extra support for staying in their home, or a move to a supportive living facility, as well as how to approach discussions with siblings about sharing the caregiving responsibilities. There is lots of info about common health issues from dementia to hearing and vision loss. This book also had great information on things I hadn't thought about. I'm embarrassed to say I didn't know what a power of attorney is or why I should talk to my parents about makng one, or even make one myself. There are also sections on handling issues like parental divorce and dating, toxic parents, and suspected issues with alcohol. Whatever your background or relationship with your parents, this book will help with some challenging conversations

[Debra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you The Experiment Publishing for my advance copy. My opinions are my own.

So very, very useful and practical. This one doesn't have a narrative style, which I appreciated so much. You as the reader are in control and can skip around to the topic you are most interested in. It can be hard to know how to approach tricky situations with one's aging parents, and this resource gives advice on how to see things from the parent’s perspective, how to prepare and what research to do. It also suggests some approaches to use to bring up and carry out tough conversations in a kind, loving, respectful way. Plus, it talks about what legal questions to consider, and other dos and don’ts. I will keep this at hand to refer to, but it is simple and clear enough to guide me as needed moving forward with my parents and aging loved ones.

[Cathy Now Retired · Rating 5 out of 5]

Probably best read before you need it, but second best time is now. Easy to read and many great examples given. I read the book straight through, including parts that don't necessarily (at least right now), apply to my family but you can just as easily jump around as there is a handy Table of Contents. I like the many options to handle/discuss most of the topics, including conversation starter examples. I would have like more U.S. specific information about resources but also know that information probably changes often enough to make it not practical to include.

[Angela · Rating 3 out of 5]

nothing was really groundbreaking or massively insightful. chapter 10 on POA is important. i wish it delved more into what struggles families would experience in terms of emotional, legal, and financial issues. this book felt too idealistic. the ways to approach starting a conversation about a heavy topic with an aging parent feels too gentle and unrealistic. this book is for the reader that is anticipating their parent is aging in general terms, not for families that are currently dealing with issues related to aging.

[Nikki · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent resource for a variety of topics centered around care for and relationships with aging parents or family members. Watts' tone throughout is sensitive and compassionate, seasoned with humor and sympathy where appropriate. Definitely a good spring board for locating more specialized information and identifying your areas of ignorance.

[Denise · Rating 4 out of 5]

I could see this being most helpful for families who struggle to communicate at all but are dealing with large changes in the abilities and physical health of their parents. Being on the edge of that phase, I found it helpful to skim through and get a general ideas of areas to watch and ways to start conversations.

[Jess · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked this one up because it looked good both personally and professionally. Turns out, I was right. It is chock full of useful information, based on research and with helpful tips on how to broach topics with aging parents. I will be keeping this in my office as a reference guide.

[Lori · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great book for those who are in the midst of caring for aging parents and those who will be in that arena soon. Laura uses humor and personal stories to make the topics comfortable for all.

[Lori Hansen · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a daughter of an aging parent with cognitive decline and a personal concierge to seniors, I found this book to be just what I needed to assist in navigating my day to day with seniors. Highly recommend!

[Teresa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book, written with a little humor, covering all aging topics and giving lots of suggestions on how and when appropriate to approach your aging parents or family member about their current or future needs.

[Leigh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Conversational tone, suggested scripts, and author’s sense of humor made this book as entertaining as anything on this topic could be.

[Heidi Strybos · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some really good ideas and suggested scripts for tough conversations

[Hellerzilla · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must-read!!! This was so insightful and helpful 👏🏼

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book to start thinking about or help you get through caring for your parents/older adults in your life.

[Ashlinn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Specific and practical information, along with a compassionate view. A valuable read.

[Carolyn Gleeson · Rating 5 out of 5]

An insightful and informative book to help anyone deal with different issues you may face with aging parents, complete with conversation starters and ideas!

[Kelli · Rating 3 out of 5]

Definitely helps with directing focus during chaotic times, grief can bring on such brain fog.

[Melinda · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a great read for my professional life as an estate planning and probate attorney. My full thoughts of the book are on my blog, https://gustafsonlegal.blogspot.com/2...

[HelenJ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Took lots of note highlighting and saved in files. Good advice. A lot I didn’t know about LTC rights etc

[Lynda K.]

A "perfect" first book if your parents - or spouse - are aging and you are noticing some decline physically and/or mentally.

[Cindy Kimber · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great how to parent your parent guide. I was hoping for more insight from the point of view of the aging parent - how important it is to remember aging parents are adults and should have agency over their decisions as long as possible. Actual quotes from the aging parent’s perspective would have been valuable. Philosophy of care - page 59-60 re “freedom and choice” was a great section.