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Strange Intimacy: Essays on Dressing Up and Consumption
Zea Asis' first book of essays is about a young woman's coming-of-age in the Philippines as bound to the necessity of movement, physical, emotional and intellectual, which become the impetus for the constant discovery of selves, past and present. Through acts of consumption and romantic interludes, across thrift spaces, office spaces, and streets, Asis captures a womanhood that refuses romanticism, and instead revels in the interweaving of grit and grace necessary for contemporary survival.
- GenresEssaysNonfiction
56 pages, Unknown Binding
Published January 1, 2020
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews
June 14, 2025
Strange Intimacies is a book of essays with three sections, categorized according to the subject matters: objects, memories and the present. But if one notices the subtext, we can find that there is a second way to categorize the essays, which is the Past Self and the Current Self.
The impact of Zea Asis’s style varies according to each type. When she writes of her Past Self, she balances the nostalgia with a healthy dose of critical self-reflection. These essays are incredibly insightful because the retelling is through the lens of fair introspection.
At her best, the author expertly wields words that appear like understated exposition, yet whose emotional pacing is impeccably striking. Strange Intimacies sees Asis write with a chronology of life events that resonates, wherein she leads us with a logic not bound by the linearity of time, but with the cadence of a transformation. This perceptiveness can be seen in the impressive multi-essay arcs that emotionally intensify in the exact, measured, effective surges through the pagecount. It can be seen as well in the fondness underpinning the handful of people from Asis’ life that are depicted. It can be seen in instilling the love of sentimental objects with their big presence in satisfying conclusions. It can be seen in the honest portrayal of conflicting emotions towards her parents.
Strange Intimacies makes a notable contribution to Filipino literature about parents. While as a culture we are all still trying to accept the destructive nature of abuse, usual responses come from extreme ends of the spectrum. Both unproductive in their own way. Asis stands out for her careful navigation of the topic, as she expertly weaves in her parents’ humanities while maintaining the gravity of their actions. As of now, I can’t think of another Filipino book that broaches this complicated emotional state, much less do what Asis has done and capture the full emotional palette of being in a home with a monster called your tatay.
The Past Self is viewed with kindness mixed with due judgement. Meanwhile, the Current Self is seen with glass-pano-tint, rose-colored glasses.
The Current Self talks about materialistic desires. If it can be described succinctly, it’s that these essays are excited reflections of yuppie fixation. Sadly, introspection is gone, replaced by a focus on justifying its appetites, which, in its aims to self-soothe, extend to missing the overall clunky verbosity of the sentences.
To clarify, I’m not annoyed at this type of Manila-specific bourgeois class existing, I’m annoyed at this cloud that’s settled over it, lulling people into complacency in its wake.
It’s not that the author lets us perceive her as a Makatizen, but it's that the self is pictured as a person attending thrown-together but ooooo-still-impressive! parties, exclusive events at galleries, and dinner dates at bougie pizza places. It's not that she moved back in with their family, it's that she had done so to unburden herself with the tedium of housework. It’s not that she wants to celebrate female sensuality, it's that it is deemed as a good response to a President notorious for crimes far worse than misogynistic language.
Partly, Strange Intimacies believes that going through the regular, boring motions of being alive is a hindrance rather than a part of growing up . Is the highlight reel of life the only parts that matter? Well, I for one don’t think so: I think the everyday of life is what Life is, including the banal and the routine, moments that can’t be a cinematic snapshot when viewed from the third person. Everything counts, and maturing is coming to terms with it, and even more so in finding its beauty.
Final thoughts
Strange Intimacies is an essay collection by Zea Asis, where she explores her own personhood. I liked it when she was trying to reckon with something difficult, because through the challenges thrown at her Asis effectively fashions a sense of who she is. However, it's also very emblematic of the short-sightedness of youth, seen through the one-dimensional celebratory tone that she uses in every essay about the present, even with subject matter with very obvious flaws. While I think that there’s gaps in the rationalizations, it’s worth a read, because you may enjoy one of its voices, or the other, or both.
The impact of Zea Asis’s style varies according to each type. When she writes of her Past Self, she balances the nostalgia with a healthy dose of critical self-reflection. These essays are incredibly insightful because the retelling is through the lens of fair introspection.
At her best, the author expertly wields words that appear like understated exposition, yet whose emotional pacing is impeccably striking. Strange Intimacies sees Asis write with a chronology of life events that resonates, wherein she leads us with a logic not bound by the linearity of time, but with the cadence of a transformation. This perceptiveness can be seen in the impressive multi-essay arcs that emotionally intensify in the exact, measured, effective surges through the pagecount. It can be seen as well in the fondness underpinning the handful of people from Asis’ life that are depicted. It can be seen in instilling the love of sentimental objects with their big presence in satisfying conclusions. It can be seen in the honest portrayal of conflicting emotions towards her parents.
Strange Intimacies makes a notable contribution to Filipino literature about parents. While as a culture we are all still trying to accept the destructive nature of abuse, usual responses come from extreme ends of the spectrum. Both unproductive in their own way. Asis stands out for her careful navigation of the topic, as she expertly weaves in her parents’ humanities while maintaining the gravity of their actions. As of now, I can’t think of another Filipino book that broaches this complicated emotional state, much less do what Asis has done and capture the full emotional palette of being in a home with a monster called your tatay.
The Past Self is viewed with kindness mixed with due judgement. Meanwhile, the Current Self is seen with glass-pano-tint, rose-colored glasses.
The Current Self talks about materialistic desires. If it can be described succinctly, it’s that these essays are excited reflections of yuppie fixation. Sadly, introspection is gone, replaced by a focus on justifying its appetites, which, in its aims to self-soothe, extend to missing the overall clunky verbosity of the sentences.
To clarify, I’m not annoyed at this type of Manila-specific bourgeois class existing, I’m annoyed at this cloud that’s settled over it, lulling people into complacency in its wake.
It’s not that the author lets us perceive her as a Makatizen, but it's that the self is pictured as a person attending thrown-together but ooooo-still-impressive! parties, exclusive events at galleries, and dinner dates at bougie pizza places. It's not that she moved back in with their family, it's that she had done so to unburden herself with the tedium of housework. It’s not that she wants to celebrate female sensuality, it's that it is deemed as a good response to a President notorious for crimes far worse than misogynistic language.
Partly, Strange Intimacies believes that going through the regular, boring motions of being alive is a hindrance rather than a part of growing up . Is the highlight reel of life the only parts that matter? Well, I for one don’t think so: I think the everyday of life is what Life is, including the banal and the routine, moments that can’t be a cinematic snapshot when viewed from the third person. Everything counts, and maturing is coming to terms with it, and even more so in finding its beauty.
Final thoughts
Strange Intimacies is an essay collection by Zea Asis, where she explores her own personhood. I liked it when she was trying to reckon with something difficult, because through the challenges thrown at her Asis effectively fashions a sense of who she is. However, it's also very emblematic of the short-sightedness of youth, seen through the one-dimensional celebratory tone that she uses in every essay about the present, even with subject matter with very obvious flaws. While I think that there’s gaps in the rationalizations, it’s worth a read, because you may enjoy one of its voices, or the other, or both.
April 12, 2024
(Read: Strange Intimacies 2023 edition published by Everything's Fine PH)
This was something I've been looking forward to since last year. I thoroughly enjoyed some essays, while I failed to have any emotions for some. I think what I found interesting all through out, is the voice Asis had -- pure and jaded, pristine and messy, two sides of the coin, at the same time. It puts you in an unadulterated perspective about girlhood, and in a more general sense, life. I think that's what the collection gave me, which is something I needed right now: something to hold me firmly onto the ground, while still giving me the freedom to dream.
I'm glad I read this book.
This was something I've been looking forward to since last year. I thoroughly enjoyed some essays, while I failed to have any emotions for some. I think what I found interesting all through out, is the voice Asis had -- pure and jaded, pristine and messy, two sides of the coin, at the same time. It puts you in an unadulterated perspective about girlhood, and in a more general sense, life. I think that's what the collection gave me, which is something I needed right now: something to hold me firmly onto the ground, while still giving me the freedom to dream.
I'm glad I read this book.
Read
August 10, 2024[read the 2023 version published by everything's fine]
this was one of those books that found me at the right time. in this essay collection, zea asis creates an inquiry towards vulnerability and how this relates to the contours of identity, desire, grief, memory, and a coming-to of being.
these essays resonated with me greatly as a 20-something in metro manila grasping at a semblance of distinguishing myself. the writing was sharp and meticulous in detailing the plight of how intimacy exists against the backdrop of consumerism, the impartial nature of the internet, and the general climate of relationships at this point in time. but it also felt warm in a way like talking to a friend over drinks, delving into the complexities of a budding personhood as a result of our own upbringing and the experiences we forged through as we get older.
i commend asis for her command over language, as she was able to deliver musings over things encountered in daily life. her precise probing felt less like an investigation hoping to seek definitive answers, but more of an acceptance of the transient nature of the self and the inevitability that different versions of ourselves are bound to exist. and it made me realize that sometimes we don’t have the words to approximate who we are at the moment, and that’s okay, too. we simply need to be, without pretense and armed with the acknowledgment that we’re always changing, evolving, and growing.
definitely recommend this, especially for fans of joan didion and jia tolentino! zea asis is definitely staying on my radar and i look forward to any other works she’ll come out with.
this was one of those books that found me at the right time. in this essay collection, zea asis creates an inquiry towards vulnerability and how this relates to the contours of identity, desire, grief, memory, and a coming-to of being.
these essays resonated with me greatly as a 20-something in metro manila grasping at a semblance of distinguishing myself. the writing was sharp and meticulous in detailing the plight of how intimacy exists against the backdrop of consumerism, the impartial nature of the internet, and the general climate of relationships at this point in time. but it also felt warm in a way like talking to a friend over drinks, delving into the complexities of a budding personhood as a result of our own upbringing and the experiences we forged through as we get older.
i commend asis for her command over language, as she was able to deliver musings over things encountered in daily life. her precise probing felt less like an investigation hoping to seek definitive answers, but more of an acceptance of the transient nature of the self and the inevitability that different versions of ourselves are bound to exist. and it made me realize that sometimes we don’t have the words to approximate who we are at the moment, and that’s okay, too. we simply need to be, without pretense and armed with the acknowledgment that we’re always changing, evolving, and growing.
definitely recommend this, especially for fans of joan didion and jia tolentino! zea asis is definitely staying on my radar and i look forward to any other works she’ll come out with.
October 3, 2024
Strong 4 here.
Strange how a book can make me homesick for grime.
Strange how a book can make me homesick for grime.
July 16, 2024
Felt like having an intimate conversation with Zea Asis. I also loved the way the central theme of intimacy is sprinkled all over her journey through life; and the people, places, and (pre-loved) things that came with it.
May 5, 2025
If nostalgia can be contained in the form of a book, then it’ll be Strange Intimacies.
Nothing keeps me up all night but a raw and eloquently written collection of essays. This is exactly what happened while I was reading Strange Intimacies. It's like she's taken a snapshot of a moment in time and painted it with words, allowing you to feel the emotions and see the details of the scene she's describing.
Zea Asis’ writing has a certain tone that makes you want to suddenly revisit the past and linger there for a minute. Maybe when you first move from the province to Metro Manila. When you had your very first date. It could even be those carefree days of childhood, where you were oblivious to the world around you and didn't realize what was happening in the background.
It’s fascinating how universal is the feeling that Zea Asis perfectly captured. There’s a sense of comfort. There’s familiarity.
If you are a fan of essays, poems, or just simply a fan of words, then I highly recommend Strange Intimacies! A truly captivating read that will take you on a journey of self-discovery and reflection.
Nothing keeps me up all night but a raw and eloquently written collection of essays. This is exactly what happened while I was reading Strange Intimacies. It's like she's taken a snapshot of a moment in time and painted it with words, allowing you to feel the emotions and see the details of the scene she's describing.
Zea Asis’ writing has a certain tone that makes you want to suddenly revisit the past and linger there for a minute. Maybe when you first move from the province to Metro Manila. When you had your very first date. It could even be those carefree days of childhood, where you were oblivious to the world around you and didn't realize what was happening in the background.
It’s fascinating how universal is the feeling that Zea Asis perfectly captured. There’s a sense of comfort. There’s familiarity.
If you are a fan of essays, poems, or just simply a fan of words, then I highly recommend Strange Intimacies! A truly captivating read that will take you on a journey of self-discovery and reflection.
December 3, 2024
3/5 stars - a decent collection of essays. i find that her writing meanders at times. her strongest essays are the ones that center or mention family. my favorites are red hibiscus, the things that grow, and close to shore: after my mother’s paksiw.
February 26, 2025
3.5 stars for me.
Zea Asis can write. I found some of the essays meandering but there were quite a few essays—mostly the ones featuring her mother and father and other personal encounters—that were pure gems and definitely a delight to read.
My favorites are “Red Hibiscus” and “Close to Shore: After My Mother’s Paksiw.”
I love when Asis reminds me of Jhumpa Lahiri’s nostalgic and vivid writing. I’m less a fan of the overintellectualization of mundane things, especially when she uses art as metaphor. Just not my cup of tea. But when she recalls the details of a loved one during a certain time of her childhood, it was magnificent.
On a personal note, I could totally see my young, single self feeling the way Asis’s feels about being a single, young Filipina. Highly recommend for the young Carrie Bradshaws of Manila.
Zea Asis can write. I found some of the essays meandering but there were quite a few essays—mostly the ones featuring her mother and father and other personal encounters—that were pure gems and definitely a delight to read.
My favorites are “Red Hibiscus” and “Close to Shore: After My Mother’s Paksiw.”
I love when Asis reminds me of Jhumpa Lahiri’s nostalgic and vivid writing. I’m less a fan of the overintellectualization of mundane things, especially when she uses art as metaphor. Just not my cup of tea. But when she recalls the details of a loved one during a certain time of her childhood, it was magnificent.
On a personal note, I could totally see my young, single self feeling the way Asis’s feels about being a single, young Filipina. Highly recommend for the young Carrie Bradshaws of Manila.
April 7, 2025
"There was a time when the sharp parts of me exposed themselves because I thought that the only way I could fight my chaos was with my own."
like its title, this book was provocative yet peculiar. zea asis' essays perfectly encapsulated the thoughts and experiences us women have to live through—girlhood, desires, loneliness and consumption. much to a point that i had a hard time reading red hibiscus as it was an achingly familiar scene. it was my favorite part together with states of undress and lonely is the room.
the book also featured other artists (my favorite being lala gallardo whose painting is also on the cover of this book) and there's a consolable feeling in it knowing that these people are living in the same period of time as me, experiencing the same altruism and cruelty of society. and only with their passion and creativity are we able to memorialize our waning moments.
like its title, this book was provocative yet peculiar. zea asis' essays perfectly encapsulated the thoughts and experiences us women have to live through—girlhood, desires, loneliness and consumption. much to a point that i had a hard time reading red hibiscus as it was an achingly familiar scene. it was my favorite part together with states of undress and lonely is the room.
the book also featured other artists (my favorite being lala gallardo whose painting is also on the cover of this book) and there's a consolable feeling in it knowing that these people are living in the same period of time as me, experiencing the same altruism and cruelty of society. and only with their passion and creativity are we able to memorialize our waning moments.
March 5, 2024
(Read the 2023 version published by Everything's Fine)
"I wonder if our girlhoods were the same, if she, too, developed an affinity for the ocean's presence, inheriting the notion that if you waded the shore enough, you learned how to swim."
A collection of essays that evoked varied emotions within me. I appreciated the vulnerability and style that Zea Asis exhibited, they made for a well-curated book. Obsessed with the design, too! Personal favorite is Red Hibiscus, but each essay had something to ponder on (some left me kind of bitin, though?) Overall a great read, slightly relatable in the Manila girl experience front (enjoyed getting to know Butuan as well), so I'm glad I brought this with me to Parque de María Luisa--and so close to Dia de la Mujer!
"I wonder if our girlhoods were the same, if she, too, developed an affinity for the ocean's presence, inheriting the notion that if you waded the shore enough, you learned how to swim."
A collection of essays that evoked varied emotions within me. I appreciated the vulnerability and style that Zea Asis exhibited, they made for a well-curated book. Obsessed with the design, too! Personal favorite is Red Hibiscus, but each essay had something to ponder on (some left me kind of bitin, though?) Overall a great read, slightly relatable in the Manila girl experience front (enjoyed getting to know Butuan as well), so I'm glad I brought this with me to Parque de María Luisa--and so close to Dia de la Mujer!
February 18, 2025
Each one of Zea Asis’s essays displays a poetic honesty, threading together her clouds of thoughts on her internet shopping habits, memories of her father and his murder, her philosophy of thrifting for clothes in Makati, and the vignettes of dating experiences and aspirations for intimacy and vulnerability, all to explore her identity, self-image, sexuality, and sentimental ruminations. And, despite myself being a Chinese-American guy in his late 20s who only happened to stumble upon and gravitate towards this essay collection by a Filipina writer in her 20s, I found myself deeply affected and turned by each of her writings, relating to each of her recollections on identity, intimacy, and peace.
March 20, 2025
I read the 2023 edition: Strange Intimacies
Ohmyyyyy!!! I love love this book so much. It can actually pass as the author's memoir but she is still young so I guess I'll be looking forward to more of her work.
It's been a while since I read a Filipino author and probably my first time reading from a female one. I know I am being redundant but it is soooo good and def not what I expected. It is so relateable. I'm usually a fast reader but I really took my time with this one since I'm smitten with her writing style.
It started with something as trivial as overconsumption and progresses to her life experiences (trauma). Grateful for the author's vulnerability, reading this book is such a healing experience for me.
Ohmyyyyy!!! I love love this book so much. It can actually pass as the author's memoir but she is still young so I guess I'll be looking forward to more of her work.
It's been a while since I read a Filipino author and probably my first time reading from a female one. I know I am being redundant but it is soooo good and def not what I expected. It is so relateable. I'm usually a fast reader but I really took my time with this one since I'm smitten with her writing style.
It started with something as trivial as overconsumption and progresses to her life experiences (trauma). Grateful for the author's vulnerability, reading this book is such a healing experience for me.
February 9, 2025
Zea Asis wrote essays that speak to twenty something girls navigating their life while being lonely, confused, and scared. I think this book came at a perfect time in my life, where im “being on the cusp of something” — a few months until I graduate college.
Essays that stood out to me were the ones about pre-loved items, notes on spaces, and close to shore: after my mother’s paksiw. They were all laced with nostalgia, and Asis perfectly captures Filipina girlhood through her own stories. She interrogates the self, the spaces she inhibits, and her own desires which were all deeply relatable.
This was such a pleasure to read! I could not recommend it enough!!
Essays that stood out to me were the ones about pre-loved items, notes on spaces, and close to shore: after my mother’s paksiw. They were all laced with nostalgia, and Asis perfectly captures Filipina girlhood through her own stories. She interrogates the self, the spaces she inhibits, and her own desires which were all deeply relatable.
This was such a pleasure to read! I could not recommend it enough!!
April 13, 2025
“now everything you say is going to be judged through the prism of your literary capabilities.”
these nine essays felt like home, not in a way that it is an exact replica of the four walls i grew up with. these pieces felt so vivid and well thought out. words scattered in the sulci of my brain were neatly organized into one beautifully (designed and) written book.
will forever be in awe of authors deeply passionate and knowledgeable on the fields of psychology and philosophy.
“notes on space” made me cry like baby lost in the mall btw. sent a crying selfie to my ate along with the page that made me bawl. will always miss her and never admit it :)
these nine essays felt like home, not in a way that it is an exact replica of the four walls i grew up with. these pieces felt so vivid and well thought out. words scattered in the sulci of my brain were neatly organized into one beautifully (designed and) written book.
will forever be in awe of authors deeply passionate and knowledgeable on the fields of psychology and philosophy.
“notes on space” made me cry like baby lost in the mall btw. sent a crying selfie to my ate along with the page that made me bawl. will always miss her and never admit it :)
December 22, 2024
Its one of those books that I had to restart twice, like I had to grow up in comprehension to be in the right headspace to be able to actually read it. But when I did get to reading it halfway, to the good ones - it really hits. I feel for the author reading Red Hibiscus, the story probably coming from her trauma, but was really the most engrossing of it all. Wishing to write about Women Wanting as deeply like she did in Initiation,Lonely is the Road and States of Undress.
May 22, 2025
bought the book in everything's fine on my birthday trip! ate cashier told me that zea is really good at capturing the essence of girlhood in her work; completely with her on that!
while a good portion of the book felt like prose, a rough sketch of an idea clumped together in its messiness, none of it felt truly underbaked. really looking forward to zea's future work. this is a great start to a really eventful writing career.
favorite essays: strange intimacy, the things that grow, close to shore.
while a good portion of the book felt like prose, a rough sketch of an idea clumped together in its messiness, none of it felt truly underbaked. really looking forward to zea's future work. this is a great start to a really eventful writing career.
favorite essays: strange intimacy, the things that grow, close to shore.
January 30, 2024
The experience I had with this book is so unique. A book of essays from a woman around my age, living in the same country is bound to be relatable, but this actually caught me off guard. It’s so interesting how similar a lot of our experiences and even our feelings are as women. Loneliness is apparent in this book, yet I felt comforted knowing I wasn’t alone in my desires and thoughts.
Looking forward to more books from Zea 🎀🖤
Looking forward to more books from Zea 🎀🖤
November 8, 2021
Asis's writing is full of character and reminds me of Gia Tolentino's writing style. Beyza's art perfectly complements it too
Caught a glimpse through Sunstroke Mag- https://www.sunstrokemagazine.com/arc...
Caught a glimpse through Sunstroke Mag- https://www.sunstrokemagazine.com/arc...
January 23, 2024
Wanted to read more essays this year and I'm glad this book's very cute cover caught my eye!
Enjoyed reading Zea's essays on girlhood. So many relatable anecdotes about dressing up, intimacy and finding your identity as a woman.
Enjoyed reading Zea's essays on girlhood. So many relatable anecdotes about dressing up, intimacy and finding your identity as a woman.
June 30, 2021
nonsense.
November 8, 2021
I love this book! It's so raw and relatable. I read every paragraph as if I were experiencing the events for real
March 19, 2024
full review coming.. in one sentence, this book couldn't have arrived at a better time for me.
July 29, 2024
Asis presents a close and thoughtful reading of activities that would normally be considered part of an ordinary life. Fascinating and commendably vulnerable.
September 28, 2024
great prose and really intense thoughts on body, consumption, and history. Red Hibiscus was a stand out.
December 15, 2024
(Strange Intimacies, 2023, Everything’s Fine PH Publishing)
June 7, 2025
Actual rating: 3.5
August 5, 2025
Felt so seen as a 20s Filipina from the province who recently just moved to Metro Manila. Did Ms Asis just write a book about me?
November 8, 2025
read the 2023 everything’s fine edition
Read
February 3, 2024This isn't the exact book I read (as it's not on Goodreads pala) but I believe that book, entitled Strange Intimacies, has some overlap with this.
I enjoyed the last essay the most, because it felt like watching a romcom in my head. The author (especially with what's written in the final essay) reminds me of a specific friend I have and I think they would get along well. It's nice to read a book whose world is a world I know well. [Initial thoughts]
I enjoyed the last essay the most, because it felt like watching a romcom in my head. The author (especially with what's written in the final essay) reminds me of a specific friend I have and I think they would get along well. It's nice to read a book whose world is a world I know well. [Initial thoughts]
January 23, 2025
This was a short, sweet mood read; Asis did some refreshing takes on fashion (such as, fashion as "mass-produced type of sculpture" and the spatial considerations of the latter; fashion choices a monument to the beats and tempos of the city; fashion as possible resolution/articulation of certain anxieties), spatiality (being "someone possessed by my surroundings, a captive audience and part of the consequence of things unfolding") and female sexuality (body vs. consciousness; contorted by "transient, elusive" wanting), and the tenderness of her rumination on her childhood/intergenerational trauma made me emotional. The reflections on the interplay between consumption and identity never really went as in-depth as I would like though, and mostly felt circumscribed by the ego, so look away if you are expecting very in-depth reflections in these areas.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews