Anna does maths! She's so awesome at maths she's doing it at Oxford! She's very beautiful with black hair and dark eyes and perfect skin, but she's also kind of oddball. After her parents died, she went to live at Langford Hall with her foster father. He had two children, a daughter only a couple of years older than Anna, and Dan.
Anna's favourite thing to do growing up was to hide in corners and stare silently at Dan. He found it very unnerving, and tried to be kind, but she made him uncomfortable. That all changed the time he came home and Anna was seventeen and suddenly gorgeous and sexy. Unfortunately for Dan, he'd brought his fiancé home, so suddenly discovering that there's this hot intense chick who would do literally anything for him is very inconvenient. There's a snogfest as he's getting ready to leave, and Anna begs him not to get married, to stay with her. Dan tells her he's made a commitment, and that his fiancé, Daphne, is pregnant. Anna is heartbroken. But she channels her heartbreak into maths, yay for her! And she gets herself a doctor boyfriend who seems really nice!
Poor old Dan wouldn't have banged a 17-year-old, because he's a good guy. He's a good guy about Daphne too, which Anna would have found out if she hadn't been such a jellyfish when it came to asking personal questions. It's no wonder he's so grumpy. And he's now back at Langford Hall four years later, because his father has unexpectedly died. And his sister is getting married, and he's watching Anna do all the work and make herself sick. And to top it all off, he's now Anna's guardian.
Anna manages to ask Dan one personal question, which is basically, where's your wife, Daphne? He lets her know they decided not to get married after all. Great opening! Anna has no follow up questions. The rest of her jealous misery fantasies are fed by her 'accidental' eavesdropping.
If you're wondering how no one in the family happened to mention the broken engagement to Anna, I ended up deciding that this was plausible. I guess Anna, who was avoiding all intel about Dan that she could without it looking weird, could have got into the habit of never asking after Dan at all, and the rest of the family could have just assumed that she knew he hadn't got married, and it was no big deal.
I guess it's also plausible that Anna's mother would insist that she'd have a guardian until she was 25. Anna was young when her parents died, but I imagine that she was already obviously introverted, and her worried mother would have wanted her daughter tied to a family for as long as possible, so that she would keep those connections into adulthood. Sure, it's there as a plot point to throw Anna and Dan together, but I found it rather sweet, that Anna's mother anticipated that a solitary, quiet child would be both fiercely independent and then, in exercising her freedom, fiercely lonely.
When Anna collapses after her final exams (she's dramatically indifferent to her health!), Dan whisks her off to his private Caribbean island. Dan, at around 32, has been a famous novelist since his early 20s. All his books get made into films and he writes the screenplay for all of them.
Dan is sexy and blonde. He has sort of kidnapped Anna. He buys her bikinis and pink silk dresses, takes her to dinner and dancing in (on?) Nassau. Anna, in addition to not really understanding 'kidnapping' doesn't understand 'dates.' He teaches her how to dive. He gets pretty impatient and cranky and is telegraphing his own jealousy over Anna's doctor boyfriend all the time, but Anna's too caught up in her own jealous fantasies over the absent Daphne to get anything to add up.
Their romance is pretty action-packed. Film people show up, and there's this glamorous star who is making a play for Dan, so Anna gets to angst over that, while she innocently flirts with the film's male star and drives Dan insane. There's a diving accident and Anna is attacked by coral and dramatically almost dies. But two dramatic owies aren't enough for Anna - she and Dan also have to weather a hurricane.
And then, all that near-naked in bikini sexy tension becomes actual naked and wet in the shower, and sexy times ensue.
What I love about Wilson heroines is this whole 'dramatically injured/sick, must be saved by the uber protective and competent hero!' It's such an obvious bid for sympathy, but it works on me every time. Wilson is perfect for those of us who have mild hypochondriac tendencies, and light fantasies about being fragile but somehow still beautiful and sexy in suffering.
Poor Dan had a pretty rotten time of it, what with all that jealousy, and Anna pushing him away while eating him up with her eyes, and never asking him anything or telling him anything about what's going on in her head.
Their love declaration is sweet. Dan's plan is that they will live six months in England and six months on the island. Ummm, what about maths? Anna asks. Dan looks a trifle concerned, will maths divide them? (Sorry). Anna quickly reassures him that she'll work something out. And besides, she's sure to have smart babies, that'll be fun.
I choose not to let this depress me. I choose to think that when they get to England, Anna's maths professor is all, hey, that Oxford Maths First means you get this super interesting maths opportunity! And when Anna tells Dan about the super interesting maths opportunity, he is so incredibly proud and supportive of her that he says: baby, I can write bestselling books and award winning screenplays anywhere. Let's follow your maths passion! And go to the Caribbean when you get sabbaticals!
And that's what they do, and they live happily every after. And somewhere in HPLandia, there's an incredibly awesome maths thing with Anna's name on it.
The end.