Choosing Courage: The Everyday Guide to Being Brave at Work

by Jim Detert

An inspirational, practical, and research-based guide for embracing risk and making a powerful impact at work.

Have you ever wanted to disagree with your boss in a meeting? Speak up about your company's lack of diversity or unequal pay practices? Make a tough decision that you know will be unpopular?

We all have opportunities to be courageous at work. But since courage requires risk—to our reputations, our social standing, and, in some cases, our jobs—we often fail to act, which leaves us feeling powerless and regretful for not doing what we know is right. There's a better way to work and live—and Choosing Courage provides the moral imperative and research-based tactics to help you make better use of your courageous instincts at work.

Doing for courage what Angela Duckworth has done for grit and Brene Brown for vulnerability, Jim Detert, the world's foremost expert on workplace courage, explains that courage isn't a character trait that only a few possess; it's a virtue developed through practice. And, with the right attitude and approach, you can learn to hone it like any other skill and incorporate it into your everyday life.

Full of stories of ordinary people who've acted courageously Choosing Courage will give you a fresh perspective on the power of voicing your authentic ideas and opinions. Whether you're looking to make a mark, stay true to your values, act with more integrity, or simply want to grow as a professional, this is the guide you need to achieve greater impact at work.

Genres: Nonfiction, Business, Self Help, Leadership, Psychology, Personal Development, Business Leadership

256 pages, Hardcover

Published May 18, 2021

Reviews

[Frank Calberg · Rating 4 out of 5]

Takeaways from reading the book:

What is courage?
- Page 2: Workplace courage is taking action at work because it feels right and important to stand up for a principle - despite the potential for serious career, social, psychological and even physical repercussions for doing so.
- Page 3: Workplace courage means speaking the truth to people, whose behavior is causing problems.
- Page 3: Workplace courage means innovating within or beyond the organization, for which one works.
- Page 11: Former defense secretary Robert Gates explained to young men and women what courageous action is: For those of you, who will become leaders, the time will inevitably come when you must stand alone. When alone, you must say "This is wrong. I disagree with you. Because I have the responsibility, this is what we will do."
- Page 78: Courage is the capacity to go ahead in spite of the fear or in spite of the pain.
- Page 108: Courage is the judgment that something else is more important than fear. To know what is more important than fear, discover your values.
- Page 194: The word courage comes from the Latin word cor, which means heart.

What are concrete examples of courageous acts:
- Pages 28 and 52: When a person, with whom you work, acts in a disrespectful, hurtful, unprofessional, inappropriate, unethical or illegal way, speak directly with him or her about it.
- Page 28: When you observe and/or listen to unacceptable, unethical or illegal behavior, tell a manager above your manager about it.
- Page 28: Saying no to problematic orders of your manager.
- Pages 28, 35 and 81: When you make a mistake, admit it and apologize. Say, "I made a mistake. I am sorry."
- Page 30: Telling your manager "The way we are doing this is inefficient."
- Page 30: Telling a manager, who screams at you, "Don't ever talk to me in that demeaning tone again."
- Page 30: Speaking up when someone mistreats another person, who has done nothing wrong.
- Page 52: Telling your manager when people, you work with, act in problematic ways.
- Page 52: Expressing your disagreement publicly when people, you work with, broadly share a view, you disagree with.
- Page 58: Taking the initiative to talk with a person about a topic, which is difficult or uncomfortable to talk with the person about.
- Page 60: Trying out a new activity.
- Page 60: Doing work you do in a new way.
- Page 160: Addressing head-on negative emotions or relationship damage you may have unintentionally created.
- Page 160: Thanking and sharing credit with people, who have helped out.
- Page 160: Staying persistent although outcomes of courageous acts are not optimal.

What are examples of people, who have acted courageously?
- Page 59: During an economic downturn, shareholders of Starbucks wanted CEO Howard Schultz to cut costs by reducing health-care benefits. The response by Mr. Schultz: "There is no way I will do it. If that is what you want us to do, you should sell your stock."
- Page 195: During the playing of the national anthem before football games, Colin Caepernick, quarterback of the San Francisco 49ers, knelt to raise awareness of racism and social inustice in America.

How do people overcome fear of doing courageous acts?
- Page 8: Many CEOs wait for public opinions to tell them what to do.
- Page 38: Accept that noone can tell you with certainty what will happen when you speak up. Why? Because it depends on how other people react.
- Pages 75 and 184: Take deep breaths.
- Pages 75 and 187: Do what you are afraid of. Practice that again and again. Thereby you reduce the power of what you are afraid of. This is called exposure therapy and is helpful to reduce all kinds of fears.
- Page 132: Bring data and solutions. That can be particularly beneficial, when you are addressing the most serious kinds of wrongdoing.
- Page 134: Tell a story in which you share data.
- Page 144: Anger often helps people to get the courage to fight back. Anger can come from seeing people, we care about, being mistreated. The problem with anger is that it can cloud our ability to think clearly and behave effectively. People, who feel anger, also feel more optimistic and more in control than they actually are. This can lead them to take risks that they would not do otherwise. When we feel anger, we tend to speak more loudly, more aggressively and more in black-white terms.
- Pages 167 and 185: Like Michael Jordan, practice longer and harder. Practice as much as possible.
- Page 184: Silently count to ten.
- Page 185: Do stretching.
- Page 185: Take a walk.
- Page 185: Do something that makes you laugh.

What are useful tips when you want to change something?
- Page 118: Pay attention to timing. Even the most reasonable comment or idea may fall lead to trouble, if it is delivered at the wrong time. Make your move at the right time.
- Page 135: Avoid criticizing. Instead, use words of growth and improvement instead of rejection and destruction. Example: "taking the next step".
- Page 135: Help people understand that prior decisions have produced something useful.
- Page 135: Help people to see that they are winning.
- Page 136: Show that you care. That helps people to express vulnerability.
- Page 137: Use the "yes, and" method. Avoid using "but".
- Page 138: Find out whether people respond better to opportunities or threats.
- Page 149: Take a principled stand AND stay in emotional control.
- Page 150: Do not keep emotions out of the workplace. Why? Has someone, who behaved like a robot, ever influenced or inspired you?
- Page 152: When you speak up about something, be specific. Focus on the behavior that annoys you and wish to see improved.
- Page 161: Have conversations with people, you target.

Why do people feel afraid of acting courageously?
- Page 6: Most people want to be liked. Therefore, it's natural to view life as a popularity contest.
- Page 6: Courage is in short supply because it is risky.
- Page 6: As a result of courageous action, people can lose their jobs and damage relationships.
- Page 8: When you show vulnerability, you risk being seen by others as weak or incompetent.
- Page 8: Feeling incompetent or looking stupid are psychological risks of workplace courage.
- Page 23: Since childhood, we have been trained to conform to the wishes of those in authority if we want our social and material needs met and avoid rejection or expulsion.
- Page 24: The nearest relatives of human beings are the great apes. The alpha males abuse rivals, and the beta males bully everyone besides the alpha males.
- Page 25: When people get threatened for speaking up, they keep silent or do not act.
- Page 48: Human beings are social animals. We need social acceptance nearly as much as we need food and water. Isolation that comes from being ostracized feels like social death. Humans often remain silent because of fear of damaging relationships.
- Page 49: Sometimes, the risk involved in doing courageous acts is primarily psychological: Can I do this? Am I good enough? Will I fail? Will I humiliate myself? Will I look stupid?
- Page 137: Sometimes we don't speak up because we are afraid that our issue will not be seen as important enough.
- Page 202: 80% of people feel constrained in speaking truth in their organizations. They worry about getting fired or punished materially for being honest or bold. They assume that the way to get ahead is to be a yes-man, not an innovator or truth-teller.

What are positive effects of acting courageously?
- Page 10: An act of courage can inspire other people to work harder and do their own courageous acts.
- Page 12: Interviews by John Izzo with 235 people aged between 59 years and 105 years show that leaving no regrets is important to have a great life.

What are negative effects of NOT acting courageously?
- Pages 10 and 43: When a leader chooses to stay silent in the face of illegal or unethical conduct or in the face of disrespectful, unprofessional or hurtful behavior by others, people will feel angry, lose respect, faith, confidence, trust and willingness to work hard.
- Page 12: Research by Australian nurse Bronnie Ware on patients in their last 12 weeks of life shows that if people do not live with courage - moving towards what they want rather than away from what they fear - they will not just live with a psychological burden but also with physical illnesses related to bitterness, resentment and regret.
- Page 84: When we do not act courageously early on, we start feeling emotions, which limit our ability to act skillfully when we finally act.

Other research from the book:
- Page 28: Work with more autonomy / freedom than currently granted by your job description.
- Page 102: When you know that important parts of your identity are not strongly influenced by the feedback of others, it can help you feel more free.
- Page 194: People, who act courageously, say they "had to do it".
- Page 203: Quote by George Bernard Shaw: The reasonable man adapts himself to the world. The unreasonable tries to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.

[Violeta Vaal · Rating 3 out of 5]

Un libro para denunciar y tomar acción ante actitudes antiéticas o abusivas en el ambiente de trabajo. Tiene varios conceptos interesantes de comunicación no violenta, feedbacks y negociación.

[Kathy Cowie · Rating 4 out of 5]

To be reviewed in the Sept-Oct issue of Global Business and Organizational Excellence

[Brooke Traister · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good read that gives practical tools and techniques for building up your “courage competency” in the work setting. I like Detert’s idea of the courage ladder and using that to gradually build up your courage muscle.

Although the first half is a little slow and basic, the second half picks up, and I found myself highlighting several passages in the sections about managing your message and channeling your emotions to build a strong pitch, as well as the section about persistence and follow-through to avoid setbacks.

3.5 stars

[Ruby Annette · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every word, every page, and every chapter of this guide is profoundly valuable for those rising up the corporate latter, regardless of the industry you work in. The more years of experience you earn, the more responsibility you have to those entering the work force, to create the stage where everyone’s ideas, feedback, and issues can be heard and acknowledge.

Lots of food for thought, real workplace examples, research, and data to backup critical points of action. At the end of each chapter, four key points are summarized under the Remember section, which makes it a great guide to quickly reference back when needed.

The main takeaways for me are:

1. Practice courage regularly. You can’t become someone “courageous” in thirty seconds that you haven’t been in the past ten years. Don’t live your workplace life with regret. Avoid waiting thirty years before becoming courageous in your last ten seconds. (Chapter 11)

2. Manage your own emotions before acting. If you want to learn to control, rather than be controlled, by your emotions, you need to Recognize and own the distinction between your immediate, instinctive reaction and what you do next. Emotions play a huge role how courageous acts turn out. (Chapter 8)

3. Maximize Job Security and Job Mobility. It’s critical to continually invest in particularly valuable knowledge bases or skill sets, things that would create a huge hole and disrupt business as usual should you be let go. Either because you can’t be easily replaced or because bringing someone new up to your speed will take too long. (Chapter 5)

Courage. Emotions. Maximize Job Security. Three critical points that everyone in the workplace should take seriously and work towards putting them to practice.

Courageous acts first need to start small to build up the “risk level” that I’m willing to take later on.

Controlling my emotional first reaction to situations is an area I’m constantly working on. “The desire to right a wrong that anger evokes” is a true struggle. But I know that people will continue to respect me more as long as I remain calm and respond later when emotions have settled down.

By showcasing a specialized skill set definitely helps to set me apart from the rest.

An educational read all around. I highly recommend it if you are trying to grow personally and professionally to become a leader that is respected and followed. I don’t recommended this guide if you simply want to clock in / clock out of work and collect a paycheck by going unnoticed.

[Setra Yappi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Found this book by coincidence at the NYC library, at the perfect time when I felt like my race held me back, for not looking the part to be a corporate people manager. I decided to speak up about my perspective, and needed guidance to do so strategically and manage my own expectations. This is a pragmatic guidebook, making sure we look around to expect trade-offs when choosing courage, while identifying meaning and our values that we should stick up for. For those who cannot stand silence and status quo, take this up because very few out there can speak to taking risks at the workplace, when it comes to sticking up for yourself, your mind and integrity.

[Elle Keogh Taubenfeld · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is not simply another call for courage in the workplace. It is a well-researched actionable guide to being competently brave - taking action while minimizing fallout. I wish I’d had this book years ago.

[RACHEL · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. This book offers strategies to cultivate courage for the many moments that it is needed in our modern workplace and beyond.

My copy was a gift through Goodreads First Reads.

[Keerthana Chandrasekaran · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book seems to have a lot of useful tips and insights on standing up for what you believe is right though it's a bit of a long read to get there.

[Crystal · Rating 3 out of 5]

Content is good but slim. The majority of the book are anecdotes about the subject. He has sufficient research and information to make it worth the read.

[Erin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Graciously received a free copy through good reads.

Rating 2.5

This book contains mostly stories of what other people did than helpful skill strategies.

[Lauren · Rating 3 out of 5]

Second half better than first for me. Hard to get through but valuable concepts.

[Sarat · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book with practical and real-life examples of courage.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Decent examples. Quick read.

[Greg Hawod · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are looking for a book that will help you to stand for what you think is right in your workplace, this is a great pick for you. It provides well balanced arguments taking in to consideration the contexts on which the pieces of advice would apply.

[Barbra Salas · Rating 3 out of 5]

There are a lot of really good gems in this book. I feel, however, that you might have to skim some of it to find them. If you need more insight on behavior and how to stand up in an effective way at work, it is worth it.

[Jaire A. Byers · Rating 4 out of 5]

This hit the spot for me. I’m affirmed AND gagged!