Crash: How I Became a Reluctant Caregiver

by Rachel Michelberg

Rachel likes to think of herself as a nice Jewish girl, dedicated to doing what’s honorable, just as her parents raised her to do. But when her husband, David, survives a plane crash and is left with severe brain damage, she faces a choice: will she dedicate her life to caring for a man she no longer loves, or walk away?

Their marriage had been rocky at the time of the accident, and though she wants to do the right thing, Rachel doesn’t know how she is supposed to care for two kids in addition to a now irrational, incontinent, and seizure-prone grown man. And how will she manage to see her lover? But then again, what kind of selfish monster would refuse to care for her disabled husband, no matter how unhappy her marriage had been? Rachel wants to believe that she can dedicate her life to David’s needs, but knows in her heart it is impossible.

Crash tackles a pervasive dilemma in our culture: the moral conflicts individuals face when caregiving for a disabled or cognitively impaired family member.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Disability

224 pages, Paperback

Published May 13, 2021

Reviews

[Phyllis Searles · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am somewhere between “ I LOVE THIS BOOK” and “I HATE THIS BOOK.” It makes you think. Full disclosure: I am a caregiver to a disabled spouse. This book is tearing me up inside and I’m just not sure what THAT says about me… more than it is any indictment against the book. The writing annoyed me; but if I sat and wrote, my writing would be equally annoying. 😳😉😂 Only a caregiver will understand this book, the setting, or my review. I reserve the right to increase or decrease the rating on an hourly basis; as necessary.

[Mary Jackson _TheMaryReader · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoy a memoir. But this one was so much more. I loved that Michelberg shared her story with us and was honored to share this with someone going through some of what Michelberg shares with us.
This is a raw heartfelt read and I hope that everyone gets to read it.
4 stars and I recommend this to everyone.
The Mary Reader received this book from the publisher for review. A favorable review was not required and all views expressed are our own.

[Gud Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love seeps through the human fabric like a dark stain, it is part of the human condition rarely understood. The same way it may seep in it may seep out, without notice. But how does one untangle themselves off a dilemma of taking care of one they no longer love? This is the ultimate case presented in this superb memoir.
Rachel considers herself as a kind-hearted nice Jewish girl who believes in doing what is right and honorable, just as her parents have raised her. However, her current relationship with her husband David seems to be strained and on the edge. Things take a deep twist when her husband is involved in a plane crash which leaves him with severe brain damage. From then on things get even more difficult. Rachel is in a quandary of whether or not to take care of an irrational, incontinent and seizure prone grown man which is what her husband has become. On top of that she has two kids to care for and work. Plus, she doesn’t love him anymore. Plus, she was having an affair before the accident and had been contemplating divorce. In her head, Rachel holds that it is her obligation to take care of David's needs. On the flip side of her heart, she finds this impossible. How will she deal with this?
One thing I love about the book is how Rachel Michelberg writes unflinchingly about life. Generally, the read is her sincere human story told about identity, duty, guilt and also some self-preservation.
A powerful beautifully crafted memoir, ratcheting up the tension with every page. Through its sheer grace and raw honesty it could help tackle a pervasive dilemma in our culture. A truly compulsive read!

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

The courage and honesty that it took for Michelberg to openly share her story is incredibly admirable. I’m appreciative of her willingness to say, out loud, what so many may feel being a caregiver. Thank you for creating a safe place for caregivers and even the smallest sense of understanding for those that aren’t.

[Teddy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! A memoir that is both powerful and heartbreaking. I’m not ashamed to say that this one made me tear up more than few times.

Rachel Michelberg had been married to her husband, David when both of their lives were suddenly changed forever. David was flying a plane over the California countryside when he was involved in a crash that left him and his friend badly hurt. After being rushed to the ICU, it was determined that David had suffered massive brain injuries that would result in memory loss and other complications.

Now, David was deemed unable to care for himself and likely to remain that way for the rest of his life. Rachel had to decide if she was up to caring full time for her husband as well as taking care of their two young children and dealing with her own health issues and work as a cantor.

I put myself through university, working in group homes with adults with developmental disabilities. Some of the people I worked with were also in wheel chairs. I know first hand what back breaking work that is, even for well trained staff. I loved what I did because I knew I was making a difference in peoples lives. I was also gaining valuable experience that I knew will help me after I graduated with my social work degrees. However, I understand that not everyone can do this type of work and that is okay. Now, in my 50’s, there is no way I could do it but am so glad I got to do it when I was younger!

At home caregivers are people that are too often ignored or forgotten about in our society and this memoir is an excellent example of that. The difficulties that Rachel faced and the decisions about her husband’s care that all fell to her were affecting and upsetting. I can’t imagine having to face questions like that about a loved one and I hope that I never have to.

On top of everything else, before the accident, Rachel and her husband were going through a rough patch in their marriage and she was considering asking him for a divorce. Of course, after the accident, this question seemed impossible to bring up and Rachel had to decide if she wanted to remain married to this man and provide constant care for him.

I won’t spoil the ending, because this is definitely one that you should read yourself, but I felt such a hopeful and light feeling after reading this. I want to thank Rachel Michelberg for her bravery in sharing this very difficult time in her life and her honesty. I think it could help others in similar situations.

5 stars for a beautiful and moving story and I hope Rachel is in a happier place now!

[Rajiv · Rating 4 out of 5]

[Blog]::[Youtube]::[Twitter]::[Instagram]::[Pinterest]::[Bloglovin]



“Crash” is probably one of the most interesting unique memoirs I have read recently because of its unusual subject matter.

I’ll be honest; Initially, I wouldn’t say I liked Rachel. I felt she came across as self-centered and annoyed that she wanted to see Mike when David was in a critical state in the hospital. There were moments when Rachel admitted that she is not fond of her children too. As the story started, I wondered if I would enjoy the story, not liking the main character. However, my iciness towards Rachel thawed as the story progressed, and I started to root for her. There are moments where I felt terrible for the guilty and remorse she goes through. She has to deal with characters like Diane, Gabi, and Dora, and it was interesting to see how she spun their abuse positively.

The author writes each chapter in a compelling yet straightforward manner where something new happens to each character. Some of the memorable moments in the story for me were when she gets a call from Diane or when she finds out what someone wrote on her lawn. The author makes the story intense at times, like when Rachel tells Dora about David or when Gabi enters the picture, and you don’t know how she would strike next. Similarly, there are also moments where I felt I learned something new, like Rachel’s sessions with Nancy over her feelings for David to understand them, or the exciting life at NCS and, for instance, the structured process of shampooing. On a side note, I also enjoyed inserts of Hannah and Josh’s journal entries.

Overall, “Crash: How I Became a Reluctant Caregiver” turned out to be a memorable memoir with a dynamic character in the lead.

[Gracie · Rating 5 out of 5]

'Crash: How I Became a Reluctant Caregiver,' by Rachel Michelberg is a one-of-a-kind memoir about marriage, fidelity and finding the strength to go on.

In 2005, Michelberg was a young mother of two with what, to outsiders seemed like the perfect life. In reality she and her husband were having marital issues and she was considering asking him for a divorce. However, unexpectedly David was involved in a plane crash over a California vineyard and was immediately rushed to the ICU where he fought for his life for weeks and underwent multiple surgeries.

David survived, but with extensive brain damage that left him mentally on the level of a small child. Michelberg was suddenly burdened with the complete care and keeping of her husband, a man that she wasn't even sure she wanted to be married to any longer.

At first, she thought the weeks in the ICU and months in recovery would be the worst part of the accident, but after David was released, the real difficulties began. If you had told me the synopsis of this book outright without me reading any of it, I would probably have thought it wasn't for me or that Michelberg would come across as unrelatable. But I would have been so wrong.

Through her beautiful, moving and witty writing, Michelberg brings the horror of having a loved one go through such a terrible ordeal home in a very real way. What's more, she brings to light to invisible work of the unsung heroes that are our nations caregivers.

Taking care of a loved one on this scale is a huge job and one that you don't always realize that you are signing up for. Kudos to Michelberg for a great read and an unflinching look at her life!

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Caregivers are some of the most undervalued members of society. We all hope that our loved ones will always be healthy and that they will never be in a position to require 24-hour care, but of course, for many, that becomes a reality at some point in our lives. For Rachel Michelberg, that point was sooner than she expected.

After her husband, David was involved in a devastating plane crash that nearly killed him and his friend, David was left with severe brain damage that impacted the frontal lobe of his brain. Now in need of constant care, David was left as somewhat of a prisoner in his own body and Rachel was left to pick up the pieces of her life.

Of course, there were other issues for Rachel at this time. Apart from the fact that she had two children to care for and health issues of her own, she had been considering separating from David before his crash happened. The more normal marital woes had led to insurmountable ones, with David now a different person, Rachel had to deal with the question of possibly ending her marriage in a way that she never could have envisioned.

This book provides a detailed insight into what it means to be a caregiver for a loved one and how difficult that role can be. After the accident, it seemed as though Rachel's vow of 'till death do us part' began to mean something far more. The difficult decisions about her husband's care that she faced every single day were overwhelming just to read about.

I'm grateful that she gave us this intimate look into an incredibly difficult time for her and I wish all memoir writers were this candid. This is a must read!

[sameera]

🚨this is something common with books narrated by authors but most of them don’t have the “narrating ability” or at least that’s what i’m calling it. using an example from this book, the author was reading a conversation and had great emotion and inflection but wasn’t able to establish a clear vocal differentiation between the two characters. thus, it was difficult to follow the conversation.

🚨flawed person and says some stuff you don’t except a mother to say out loud. i wouldn’t expect myself to be sympathetic but i am. i mean, my mom has her weaknesses but i literally know she would never do half of this. normally this raises my expectations for mothers but in this scenario i feel understanding for some reason.

🚨self care isn’t completely about yourself. you have to be healthy to take care of others. neglecting yourself equals abysmal care taking skills and being MIA for a week after getting sick isn’t in anyone’s best interest.

🚨such a train wreck. made me feel icky like i did with “forbidden” by tabitha suzuma.

discovery: memoirs are always crazy. they always feel like soap operas but they’re real life:0

[Dawnny · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a very raw, open and honest look at marriage, infidelity and the choices one can be compelled to make. The author shares her story of her marriage to man she no longer loved and becoming his caregiver after a plane crash left him severely disabled. With a husband just a shell of the man he use to be, two children to care for, Rachel has shared a deeply emotional journey. Being a caregiver is no easy task by any means. The choices you face and how it can totally change your life. There are some other things that happen in this book that make this a page turner. I won't spoil it for you. A feelable and very compelling read.

Dawnny Ruby
Novels N Latte Book Club
Hudson Valley NY

[Debbie Rozier · Rating 4 out of 5]

The one word I would use to describe this memoir is forthright.

Rachel is brave enough to tell her story in a manner that is not sugar -coated. She shares her actions after her husband, David, suffers severe brain trauma injury from a plane crash. Rachel expresses her feelings about her marriage, her parenting responsibilities, and her decisions about her husband’s care during this difficult time.

She talks about her marital discontent before her husband’s plane crash, her infidelities, her financial worries, her interactions with David’s family, and her thoughts during her decisions.

I liked the way Rachel inserted snippets from both her kids’ journals to get a snapshot into how they were perceiving life around them.

This memoir also opened my eyes about the logistics of lawsuits, the crushing potential of medical debt, and how trauma effects the brain.

[Jamie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book. I can’t imagine how hard this book was to write. My husband is a disabled veteran and I am his caregiver. My life basically revolves around him. Sometimes I have thoughts that aren’t easy and aren’t nice but being a caregiver is difficult and I love my husband more than life but it’s just hard. The author is extremely brave for sharing her story and I admire her. Heartbreaking and gritty at times I definitely enjoyed this book. Thank you Rachel for sharing light on what it means to be a caregiver.

[Bookoholiccafe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Crash How I Became a Reluctant Caregiver by Rachel Michelberg Is a book of Courage, I admire Micheleberg’s courage and bravery for sharing her story. I devoured this 10-star memoir, where Rachel faces her limitation despite society’s disapproval.

The story begins with Rachel’s husband, David, surviving a plane crash with severe brain damage after spending months in the hospital. Their marriage was already rocky when the crash happened and as a mother of two young children, Rachel has to become a full-time caregiver of a man she no longer loves.
All through the book, I was thinking this can happen to anyone, the dilemma is so unbearable and the emotions in this book were so raw that I don’t know how to write about it.
This memoir will stay with me for a long time, thank you Rachel for your frank and vulnerable writing.

[Philip Schwarz]

This was such a great read. She is an incredible author. She was strong in a situation that seemed difficult. I am so glad that I read this one.

[Vanessa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read from beginning to end. I wanted to know what happened next after each chapter. I know from experience that it can be hard to create a good paced story line in memoir but Rachel mastered it. A great example for me to follow and a story worth telling. Thank you for sharing this relatable story.

[Cathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I devoured this book. Most of the time, when I finally sit down to read, I'm tired. It’s the end of a long day. Usually, I read 10, maybe 15 pages before the sleeping Gods have their way with me. That was NOT the case with CRASH. This book is a page-turner but not the kind we’re used to. The drama in these pages is born of real life. This book tells the truth and I, for one, find nothing more riveting than the hard, ugly truth.

Good books are a window into the fragility and majesty of being human. Pull up a comfy chair, put your feet up and gaze through this window called CRASH. Then enjoy the view. I sure did.

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Some memorists try to portray their decisions in the best light possible. That’s not true of Rachel Michelberg, the author of the memoir “Crash: How I Became a Reluctant Caregiver” (She Writes Press). Instead she is brutally honest, offering a picture of a woman who decided to accept her limitations, even when society – and family members – disapproved of her actions.
See the rest of my review at https://www.thereportergroup.org/past...

[Mary Ahlgren · Rating 2 out of 5]

Appreciated her honesty. Was dismayed as well.

[Bookgirl86 · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read for caregivers, people who suffer from chronic illnesses and memoir-lovers alike. 'Crash: How I Became A Reluctant Caregiver,' by Rachel Michelberg is the kind of book that you have to take extra time to read and meditate on.
Rachel was a young mother with a husband, David, who had a pilots license and was flying a small plane when disaster struck. David was piloting a plane that crashed into a California vineyard.
David survived, but he was left with severe brain and spinal damage that left him in the ICU for weeks afterward. When he eventually recovered enough to be brought out of his coma, David only had the mental capacity of a seven year old child and was prone to fits of irrationality.
Now left with a husband who can no longer take care of himself, Rachel must decide if she is capable of being a caretaker for him while also caring for their two children and herself. Plus, work, of course, some one has to pay the bills. Adding to Rachel's difficulties is the fact that before the crash, she and David were going through a rough patch in their marriage and she had begun seeing another man in secret.
Rachel's candid writing in this book was refreshing. I haven't read a memoir that felt like I was getting the “real” story in a long time, so I appreciated how she held nothing back. I'm not sure I would have the same strength to admit to my mistakes as she did in this book.
As for the caregiving portion of the book, I can only imagine the mental and physical stress that she had to go through during that period. I think we all hope never to have to deal with the things that Rachel had to deal with during this time and I don't think any of us can say we would handle things any better.

[Carrie · Rating 5 out of 5]

We can all imagine the worst things that could happen in our lives and to our loved ones, but our worst fears rarely come true. This book tells the story of how a terrible accident and a huge betrayal converged to unhinge the author's life. It is a fascinating read because of the author's willingness to be vulnerable on the page - to show herself in unflattering situations and share her thoughts that many would be afraid to admit. I felt indebted to her: if she was willing to divulge shouldn't I be willing to listen? Her authenticity, and the intriguing unfolding of events, kept me turning pages well into the night.

Michelberg's portrayal of helplessness, guilt, shame - of utterly not knowing what to do - reminds the reader how inescapable is the judgment from our society, family, friends, and selves. We see the perspectives of all the lives who are touched. We struggle along with her as we consider the ethics, morals, and vows that we live by each day but are rarely asked to sacrifice ourselves to. I found myself feeling judgment and compassion all at once. Her story illustrates the fragility of love, family bonds, community, and even one's own talent.

And woven throughout her own personal story is the tragedy of how the healthcare system is not set up to support families through such an ordeal. Every decision she makes will potentially hurt someone else; revealing her thought process as she navigated her options allowed us to see her pain, frustration, and humility. The end strategy becomes not one of finding a perfect solution, but finding a solution with the least amount of harm. No one comes out unscathed in this story, and yet everyone finds their ways to heal and move on. Kudos to Rachel Michelberg for having the guts to tell her story.

[Bettybee306 · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book that is as bittersweet as it is moving and powerful-- 'Crash: How I Became A Reluctant Caregiver,' tells the story of a woman's fight for normalcy amid disaster. Rachel Michelberg never expected to have to be a caregiver. As a young mother of two, she and her husband, David, began going through a rocky patch in their marriage that unfortunately culminated in her falling into a romantic relationship with another man.

But everything in Rachel's life came to a screeching halt when her husband was in a terrible plane crash which resulted in him having extensive brain and spinal damage. After spending weeks in the ICU and months after that in the hospital, Rachel had to decide if she was ready to take on full time care of a husband who was no longer the same man that she married.

This is the kind of decision that many of us dread and that would be difficult for anyone, but it is also the kind of decision that many people must make every single day. After all, illnesses and accidents don't care how your marriage is going or whether you are capable of dealing with them physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Rachel seems like a strong person and she is lucky to have the love of her children and family, as I'm sure many of us would be during a time like this. Though David changed quite a bit mentally after the accident, it was nice to see at times that there was still a connection between them and that Rachel did still want the best for him.

This memoir has a lot of intriguing things to say about love, marriages and life in general and I would recommend it to anyone that likes a powerful story.

I, for one, will be thinking about this one for a while.

[Becky Willis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Crash: How I Became a Reluctant Caregiver

This book was truly a page-turner. I found myself wanting to keep reading and it was so hard to put down. I will be honest that when I first started reading I was upset with Rachel. For thinking more about Mark than David, for not wanting David to come home, for so many different things at first.

I truly felt bad for Rachel as I could not imagine having two small children and have to go through this. A TBI isn't something that is easy for them to understand and David's outbursts were very hurtful at times. Especially for Joshie as he didn't know quite how to understand why his Daddy acted this way.

In saying that I think my main reason for feeling all the ways that I felt is due to a personal experience in our family.

I struggled when I started reading Rachel's book. As I went through her story I could understand some of her feelings. I laughed a little when David told his family or friend that they served him filet mignon in the hospital as my BIL would say he had eaten steak and shrimp. So many similarities yet different situations.

I finally stopped being "mad" at Rachel halfway through. I realized that not everyone's outcomes are the same as my sister's. Rachel had already stopped really loving her husband before his accident. Her circumstances did not mirror my sister's unlike how David and my BIL had a lot of injuries in common.

Disclosure: I received this book in exchange for my review. All opinions are 100% mine.

[Melissa Levens · Rating 5 out of 5]

Crash: How I Became a Reluctant Caregiver
Author, Rachel Michelberg
Pub date: 4.27.21

Thank you @suzyapprovedbooktours @shewritespress and @rachelmichelbergauthor for my #gifted copy!

Winner- 2021 Next Generation Indi Book Award in Memoir- Personal struggle/ Health issues

What an incredibly honest memoir- from start to finish! Rachel has such an engaging way of writing about her deeply personal experiences, her quest for emotional survival, and of her immense guilt. It was a profoundly heartbreaking memoir written with such raw honesty and courage that I read it in one sitting. The root of her memoir tackles her moral dilemma- should she care for her disabled and cognitively impaired husband after his horribly tragic accident even though she was no longer in love with him prior to his accident? From dealing with her own health issues, fears, stresses, and desires to addressing her daughter's mental health and her son's Asperger's syndrome, to being confronted by the obligation she feels to provide David with the best care possible while still preserving his dignity and sense of self- it all seems utterly unmanageable for one human to achieve. But no path to success is ever without a few bumps in the road, right?! And Rachel manages to shares her brave path filled with vulnerability, resilience, grace and truth without reservations. A truly powerful memoir.

[Suzanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would first like to commend Rachel Michelberg on her BRAVERY and CANDOR in penning this very REAL and RAW memoir. It is not easy to open your life to the public and she has in the humblest of ways, free from any false pretenses. The author's journey is filled with heartbreak, tragedy, hope, perseverance, and triumph. The story opens as we learn of her husband David's life-altering plane accident that would forever steal away the man she married, the father of her children, and the life as they once knew it. If that isn't enough, the struggles, battles, and adversaries seem to continue to pile up, challenging the author at every excruciating step and right down to the very core of her being. From David's own friends and family holding her to great censure as his wife to the jealous wife of an ex-lover who is tormenting Michelberg (and her children) with phone calls, trespassing, and vandalism. It would take a skilled fiction novelist to write our heroin out of this mess, and yet somehow Michelberg finds her way to the surface of the water's edge for another swallow of air--And another chance at life.

[Sue · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought my own caregiver story was unconventional—until I read this memoir. Wow. Rachel Michelberg seems to have the perfect life--nice house, handsome husband, two cute kids, a blooming career as a singer and voice teacher. But when her husband is severely injured in a plane crash, the cracks in the façade are revealed. David, the husband, is no longer the man she knew. His traumatic brain injury has turned him into an adult-sized toddler, moody, incontinent, and incapable of taking care of himself. Caring for her husband would mean not only risking her own physical and emotional health but giving up all of her dreams. We learn that she has been seeing another man, so the marriage is already troubled. Add to that pressure from their Jewish family and friends who have their own ideas about David’s care.
Does this sound like a depressing read? It's not! I devoured this book in a day, barely stopping to eat and sleep. And the ending? Not what you expect. Bravo.
As an added bonus, most of the story takes place in my hometown, San Jose, California. I enjoyed the familiar settings.

[Debra Thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

A compelling memoir told with brutal honesty about a woman forced to make hard choices when her husband suffers severe brain damage after surviving a plane crash.

As the dedication implies, this truly is a book “For the caregivers,” for it tells a truth that is often not discussed: the inescapable pain, guilt, and shame that accompanies any decision short of becoming a saint willing to sacrifice her entire life. That this particular marriage was on the cusp of divorce before the crash complicates the situation even more.
So many caregivers will read this memoir with tears of relief that someone understands.

Excellently written, Crash immediately draws the reader into the innermost thoughts of the author as she is wrenched into this nightmare and tossed about in the chaos and uncertainty that follows. A powerful tension keeps you reading to find out just how it will end. I highly recommend this bold, brave memoir.

[Esther Erman · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's well-documented that caring for a loved one who becomes disabled challenges the most devoted caregivers. But what happens when the one requiring care-giving is no longer a loved one? What if the severely wounded man requiring permanent care-giving is the husband in a marriage that had been tottering before a fateful accident? Rachel Michelberg must face this conundrum when her husband, father of their two children, suffers devastating losses in an airplane crash. Michelberg is thrown into a whole new world of traumatic brain injury and other conditions that require a huge commitment from caregivers. She must deal with this while raising two young children, coping with her own medical situation, and facing the death of her beloved mother. Michelberg writes of her unique journey with searing honesty and candor in sharp, crisp prose. An unforgettable emotional exploration of the universe of care-giving.

[Diana Kupershmit · Rating 5 out of 5]

Crash is the author's brave and unflinching account of what it means to be human. Faced with having to make the unfathomable decision of whether she could care for her husband who'd survived a plane crash that left him with a brain injury, transforming him from partner and parent to someone who would need round the clock care, Rachel delves deep into her conscience, looking for the right answers for herself and her family. As someone who has faced a very similar situation, that of having to choose to care for a loved one not able to care for themselves, this author's moral struggles resonated with me greatly. Written in a clear and crisp voice, I found myself empathizing and rooting for this author--reminded on every page of the frailty of life, of our human frailties, and our strengths.

[Margaret Rodenberg · Rating 5 out of 5]

CRASH is a riveting memoir of a young woman whose marriage is on the rocks when her husband sustains a traumatic brain injury in an airplane accident. It’s aptly titled since as readers we cannot turn our eyes from the disaster that accident causes. A true pager-turner, I started it at lunch and rushed back to finish it after dinner. You simply cannot read it without asking yourself "What if this happened to me?" The writing is so frank, the dilemma so impossible, and the emotions so raw that you actually “live it” rather than “read it.”

On page after page, the author bares her soul. She forces us to look into our own hearts before we blithely expect others to sacrifice themselves. In the end, CRASH accomplishes what the best of memoirs do: it changes the reader forever.

[Julia Goldstein · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book description barely scratches the surface of the heart-wrenching decisions that Michelberg faced after her husband survived a plane crash with major brain damage. She tells her story with honest self-reflection and an engaging writing style that keeps the reader wanting to know what happens next. Some of the plot twists seem too strange to be true, but this is not fiction.

In a society where women are expected to be duty-bound and take care of everyone but themselves, Michelberg shows that is not the only possible path. Readers don't have to agree with all of Michelberg's choices to be moved and inspired by her story. I recommend this book for any woman faced with the prospect of being a long-term caregiver for a disabled family member.