Deep Kindness: Practicing Kindness in a World that Oversimplifies It

by Houston Kraft

Spread meaningful kindness every day with these anecdotes and actions that can help bring change to our lives, our relationships, and the world.

Practicing kindness is an essential step in helping to repair a world that has grown to be more divisive, lonely, and anxious than ever. But with quotes like, “Just be kind” or, “Throw kindness around like confetti,” we’ve oversimplified what it takes to actually demonstrate kindness in a world crying out for it.

Deep Kindness pairs anecdotes with actions that can make real change in our own lives, the lives of others, and throughout the world. Diving into the types of kindness the world needs most today, this book takes an honest look at the gap between our belief in kindness and our ability to practice it well—and shows us how to put intention into action. Exploring everything from the empathy gap to the skill of emotional regulation, Deep Kindness is perfect for anyone who believes in a kinder world and recognizes that there is a lot of work to do before we achieve it.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Psychology, Professional Development, Philosophy, Personal Development, Relationships

1 pages, Audio CD

First published September 22, 2020

About the author

Houston is an author, speaker, curriculum developer, and kindness advocate who has spoken at over 600 schools or events internationally. In 2016, he co-founded CharacterStrong - curriculum and trainings that help schools teach social-emotional learning, character education, and Kindness. To date, they have worked with over 2500 schools globally in all 50 states and 9 countries. In 2019, his face was featured on Lays BBQ chip bags as someone who helps "spread smiles." He was once invited to play on the JV National Lasertag Team.

Reviews

[J · Rating 2 out of 5]

I truly believe there is the seed of a great book here. Unfortunately, the author's day job as a motivational speaker is coming through too loud and clear. The chapters are choppily short and interspered with the kinds of inspirational stories and pithy statistics motivational speakers rely on for their speeches. Every chapter is three-five pages long, so it feels like the author is going to build to a larger idea and ... stops just short.

I wish the author had joined forces with someone trained in the art of narrative nonfiction. Or taken some time to take a course in narrative nonfiction. This book jerks you wildly between memoir to self-help to social sciences without taking enough time to create a unifying thread. At this point, the book feels more like a collection of blog posts or lectures.

Just in case the author reads here, please spend some time developing metaphors that are not related to the gym or physical fitness.

Many thanks to the Tiller Press for the free copy won in a Goodreads Giveaway.

[Jen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I like the concept of his book, but at a certain point I felt that it was repetitive and too self-help-y for my liking without exploring the topic in greater depth; felt like 50% of the book was his reflections on why we should strive for kindness instead of just niceness (which, yes, was already covered in the first chapter). It would have been fine for a podcast or even 2 chapters of a book, but not a whole book.

[Tonkica · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5

Svi mi mislimo da smo ljubazni. Barem u neku ruku. Neki su svjesno ljubazni - ponekad, kada im to odgovara, neki rado pohvale tuđe cipele, torbu, frizuru, uspjeh... Sve je to hvale vrijedno, pogotovo ako se druga strana barem na trenutak osjeća sretno. Ova knjiga nije o tome. Ova je knjiga o dubljoj, iskrenoj, empatijskoj ljubaznosti, o onoj koja dolazi iz naše nutrine, ili se najprije vježba pa onda postane dio nas.

Puuuno više osobnijih utisaka potražite klikom na link: https://knjige-u-svom-filmu.webador.c...

[Kimberly · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars.

I really enjoyed this quick read. Kindness is something I'm trying really hard to cultivate in this season of my life, and this book really gave me some things to think about. I am going to try to convince some friends to read it so I have someone to talk about it with!

[Margaret Klein · Rating 5 out of 5]

This short book is one of the best books I have read on the topic of kindness. With an easy to follow format, you could just sail through it, or linger. It talks about the difference between "Confetti Kindness" and "Deep Kindness." What is the difference between kind and nice? Why did no one stop to help Helga (read it!)? Each chapter has a short pull out quote about what kindness the world needs. There are important exercises you can do--or skip. There are breezy anecdotes, even one about his own marriage which makes us really understand he is human. It asks one really important question. If everyone wants to be kind--or thinks they are kind, what stops us from being kind. If we can just make one little shift, just 1% in our daily habits, 45% of which are routine, then the world will be much more kind. I may use this as an adult study topic book paired with other Jewish readings on the topic.

[Patty (IheartYA311) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pretty basic. Some good ideas, and a an inspirational reminder of why kindness matters.

[Andrea Pole · Rating 4 out of 5]

Deep Kindness by Houston Kraft gets at the heart of what it means to practice kindness in a truly meaningful and life-altering way. We have all seen, or perhaps even shared, the inspirational but oversimplified idea of spreading kindness like confetti. Here, the author encourages us to dig deeper, and to put in the work of making a meaningful difference by introducing the habit of kindness to our everyday lives. After all, kindness truly is our most important resource, and must be tended and nurtured as such.

This is an inspiring read that will certainly motivate you to make a change, large or small, in the spreading of kindness throughout a world that is so desperately in need. 4.5 stars

Many thanks to NetGalley and Tiller Press for the opportunity to read this ARC.

[Austris Cirulnieks · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had the pleasure to meet Houston back in 2019.
Right away when he mentioned the book, I was waiting impatiently for it.

And boy did I enjoy the book.
The expectations were high and they definitely fulfilled.

Truly spot on deep-dive on kindness, practical examples and Huston's life stories that made whole reading experience way more immersive.
Best book I've read in a long while.

[Eileen Margaret · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 I wanted a bit more depth from this book; I guess I will expect more depth from myself instead! There are definitely many gems and practical ideas. I won't forget the story of Helga and already shared it with Cassidy. I am all for deeper kindness.
"meaningful kindness is generated from the hard work of meaningful connection."

[Bonnie Westmark · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a prize at a staff meeting. I wanted it, so the teacher who won, got it for me when she won. It’s a book you’ll want everyone to read, and a book you’ll think about each day every single time you interact with someone. It teaches us how to be deeply kind to everyone. My mom could have written this book. She lived it and was the kindest human I’ve ever known. I strive to be like her.

[Julie Weigt · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t think I have ever read a book that has stirred such deep emotions and brought me to tears. Thank you Houston for your thoughts and your willingness to put those thoughts in book form. This should be required reading for all humans.

[Kari Staack · Rating 5 out of 5]

A transformative idea. This book will change the world.

[Travis Standley · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book to be an honest effort to discuss kindness and what kindness is. I appreciated the work done to get below the surface of kindness and define and categorize it. And what kindness is to one is not kindness to another.
I’m glad it gives ode to the daily small and deliberate acts - deliberate being the key word there - that, overtime can have huge impacts.
The author was honest about his own failures in kindness and relationships.
I highly connected with the chapters on the insecurities and fears that inhibit kindness along with all the other human stuff that can get in the way: being busy, out of balance, without purpose, bad health, lack of sleep, etc.
Finally, I love the nod to the competencies of kindness. So much of life is not knowing what to do or being equipped with the right skills. We can learn kindness and must mentor each other. This book has made a mark on me.

[Lynnae Andersen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kraft's revolutionary guide to kindness is a repeat of sermons and lessons I heard while in (Christian) high school. But, just because a lesson isn't new, doesn't mean it isn't needed. I appreciated the reminders that while "Confetti Kindness" can garner attention, "Deep Kindness" is intentional and personal. I appreciated the inclusion of ideas that would address different Love Languages in 10-minute acts of kindness.

Overall, the book was a timely reminder to look for opportunities to make kindness a habit, not a hobby.

[Willa Guadalupe Grant · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked the beginning of this book very much. I liked that the author wrote about going deeper than "confetti kindness" and about the difficulty and discipline that real kindness takes. Then it veered into woke pop psychology and lost me. Worth reading from the library, but I would not purchase this book.

[El · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was hesitant based on some reviews, but I really liked this book. I think the author did a great job of explaining kindness in a way that clearly reflected who they are/what they do, but also in a way that allows the reader to really take into consideration ways to be kind to themselves and to others!

[Patricia Makatsaria · Rating 4 out of 5]

The central theme of this book is to spur readers to make permanent life changes - increasing kindness in their daily lives. This idea is solid, one I personally believe is critical to remedying the social problems we face so often these days.

[Skaitančios katės · Rating 4 out of 5]

A heartwarming and thought provoking read. Wouldn't go as far as calling it life changing but it is a beautiful reminder to truly be kind. Loved the exercises included in the book. Definitely considering rereading it some time in the future.

[Layla Platt · Rating 4 out of 5]

On audio* The first thing I have to say about this book is if you are like me, very touchy feely and can cry at just about everything, do not read/listen to it in public. Such heartwarming and heartbreaking stories. Really opened my eyes to the theory around deep kindness instead of confetti kindness.

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Extraordinary book!! I can’t say enough about how powerful and inspirational Houston Kraft’s stories, ideas, and thought-provoking prompts for a kinder world are from page one all the the way until the very end.

Please take the time to read this book. It’s absolutely fantastic!

[Kara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Practical, great activity examples and relatable

[Jenny · Rating 3 out of 5]

Probably 3.5 stars.

[Jason Bennett · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not sure what’s worse…Jordan Tarver or this book? I do not recommend. Had to read it for a school system leadership retreat. A waste of time. A waste of energy. A waste of headspace.

[Christie Bane · Rating 4 out of 5]

Most of this book was excellent. It was a 5-star read for me until I got to the end where he started talking about specific practices you could do to be more kind, and almost all of them seemed exceedingly ridiculous. Like, if I did those things, my family and the people around me would think I was annoying and inappropriate, not kind.

The rest of the book, though, was full of useful reflections on the reasons why we’re not as kind as we could be, and how to get better at it. I don’t think anyone can deny that the world needs kindness now more than ever, and I can’t imagine anyone reading this book and not being inspired to think of others and acting to help them more often. MOST of the book is not shallow and silly, just the end of it.

[Annalise Grueter · Rating 4 out of 5]

While the author's personal anecdotes can be a bit self-indulgent at times, the journaling prompts and exercises suggested in the last 25% of the book are valuable and the distinction he makes between shallow, feel-good-headline friendly Confetti Kindness and Deep Kindness is a valuable one that bears contemplation.
I'm looking forward to using some of the exercises to work on being kinder.

[Bettejean · Rating 3 out of 5]

This started out great but then felt a bit preachy. Also the author talks about not calling his best friend after his mother dies. I am a bit put off by this, how can anyone talk about spreading kindness when they didn't even show up for their best friend? I applaud the vulnerability shown in the book but it feels after a time hypocritical.

[Megan Moss · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a great read with some great takeaways.

Things that stood out:
1) there are different types of kindness: 1) practical kindness (please/thank you, opening a door, etc.), 2) confetti kindness (dropping cookies off, paying for the car behind you in the drive up, etc.) and 3) Deep kindness. Deep kindness is the type of kindness that always benefits the receiver more than the giver, it’s not always convenient, it requires pausing and really understanding what someone needs. It’s not always popular.

The author is a proponent of all types of kindness but this book is about what it takes to be deeply kind. There were a few parts that stung a bit because I think it’s easy to sometimes use “being nice” as an excuse for not always being kind. I know I’ve done this.

I also really liked about how the author talked about how we would all most likely say that kindness was good, but there is a gap between our words and actions. What’s with this gap? The author explores what gets in the way of being kind. He explores how insecurities, incompetence, and inconveniences get in the way. He makes a good point that we are often our own biggest barriers. I also appreciated his vulnerability with his own personal struggles.

This was a good listen, I may slightly recommend a hard copy for some of the formatting of the book, but I did like listening to the author read it and got a lot out of it.

There’s a lot to think about from this book and some good actionable ideas about how to be more kind.

[Courtney · Rating 5 out of 5]

I recently finished Deep Kindness by Houston Kraft and I loved it!

It was around the beginning of the pandemic when I discovered Houston and his organization, CharacterStrong. The pandemic really exposed this deep need for empathy, kindness, and compassion in my community and in the world, but ultimately in myself.

To be frank, I don’t consider myself a naturally compassionate or empathetic person. However, I was rattled by the reality of living in a world where even the most basic humane acts wasn’t normal. I knew that if I wanted to live in a world that is more compassionate, kind, and empathetic, then that started with me. And that is really what Houston presents in his book, Deep Kindness. He defines Deep Kindness as “the kind of Kindness that overcomes selfishness and fear…generosity that expects nothing in return…a commitment to consist, thoughtful action that is not dependent on circumstance or convenience.” He shines a light on the things that stunt us from showing this type of Kindness, but also gives us practical ways to remove those barriers and challenge ourselves to make Deep Kindness a reality. Plus, this book is a short and sweet read, clocking in at 160 pages!

If this sounds like a book you need (whether personally or to go through in a small group), I highly encourage you to go full send in committing to the added prompts and exercises. After all, what’s the point in reading about Kindness if we don’t take the time to practice it?

[Meggan · Rating 4 out of 5]

*Reread with book club w Taylor :)

I really admire Houston Kraft's writing abilities. He is a public speaker, but I wasn't sure it would fully translate into writing - it did!

This is one of my favourite non-fiction books out there. It's a short and easy read with practical advice on how to practice kindness daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly with all kinds of people you interact with. Not only that, but it also speaks to the way truly deep kindness can absolutely change the world. I recommend this book to everyone!

[Carmen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked this book especially at the beginning. I love the concepts and what the goal of the book is trying to accomplish. Toward the end, I realized the author is trying to explain how to live the gospel without the key component of a God or higher power. He relies a lot on his own experience and has studied and read a lot, so I appreciate his perspective. It fell a little short for me.