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Resources for Biblical Living
Manipulation: Knowing How to Respond
This booklet guides the reader to respond biblically to manipulative people.
- GenresCounselling
32 pages, Paperback
First published October 14, 2008
2 people are currently reading
90 people want to read
About the author
Lou Priolo
63 books45 followersLOU PRIOLO is the Director of Biblical Counseling at Eastwood Presbyterian Church in Montgomery, Alabama. A graduate of Calvary Bible College and Liberty University, he is the author of The Heart of Anger , and The Complete Husband. Lou is also a Fellow in the National Association of Nouthetic Counselors. He resides in Wetumpka, Alabama with his wife, Kim, and daughters, Sophia and Gabriella.
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
July 25, 2015
Very helpful in learning to craft a biblical response to manipulation.
April 18, 2019
Very ſuccint advice on biblically dealiŋ wiþ emotional manipulation. Barely twenty pages of text.
February 14, 2022
Manipulation! You've probably done it. Most likely you've had it done to you. For some of us it is built into the fabric of our normal lifestyle. So much so that, perhaps, we don't even realize we are doing it. For example, to bolster a point we want to make and convince someone to agree, we might find ourselves saying, "You know there are a lot of people upset about this." What does a lot mean? When my daughter was in high school and wanted to convince me to let her go and do something, she used the same line of thinking that most, if not all of us, used by saying, "But dad, everyone is going?" I'm sure she got sick of me asking her, "Everyone? You talked to everyone and everyone is going?" Now these examples might not be as significant as the examples of manipulation that daily wreak havoc on relationships. This is a serious issue. So serious that one must look long and hard at his/her own life to see what damage has been done to prior relationships simply because of the practice of manipulation.
In this booklet, Priolo begins by providing a definition, if you will, of manipulation. In defining manipulation, the author provides a chart whereby one can evaluate their life to see if perhaps they manipulate and what it looks like in practical ways in their communication methods. Priolo also mixes into this section, specific passages of the Bible that help set the stage for an evaluation of this common to man issue. Priolo also provides for the reader a definition of foolishness and then he gives some counsel on how we should respond to foolishness, since manipulation is at its core, foolishness.
In considering how to respond to manipulation, Priolo provides the reader with snapshots of how the Lord Jesus Christ responded to manipulation. Jesus, who is fully God and fully man, ran into various attempts by people who were seeking to manipulate him. Thus, the author speaks of Martha's attempt to manipulate Jesus in Luke 10, Mary and Joseph's attempt to manipulate Him in Luke 2, the Pharisees perpetual practice of manipulation at various points in the four gospels, the Chief Priests and scribes doing likewise, and even Mrs. Zebedee (Matthew 20), all working to manipulate Jesus to give them something that they wanted, or, to stop doing things that they hated, etc. Priolo shows how Jesus responded to the various attempts to manipulate Him. We know He was the master teacher and He skillfully and in perfect, godly fashion dealt with all scenarios in which He had to handle manipulative people. Priolo also highlights the misuse of guilt that is so much a pattern in how manipulators function. There are specific statements manipulators use to get what they want. Priolo highlights these statements. Then, Priolo gives a set of snapshots of manipulation as illustrations of what manipulation looks like in various relationships: Friend to friend, mother to daughter, husband to wife, employer to employee, wife to husband, church leader to church member, etc. With each of these, he then provides a biblical response to the manipulation.
In the last section of the booklet, Priolo provides a very practical worksheet for evaluating manipulation. He structures this in such a way that a person may list specific remarks that are made to them that are manipulative in nature, then a space where the person can write out a biblical response to the manipulation.
This booklet is a great starting point for one who wants to evaluate his/her life to see if they manipulate or if they are being manipulated, but it doesn't just leave the reader with a way to diagnose this, but it also provides an answer to how one is to respond to manipulation. It is a practical and helpful book and one that I believe needs to be read by many people. In saying that, I'm hopefully not manipulating, but merely persuading.
In this booklet, Priolo begins by providing a definition, if you will, of manipulation. In defining manipulation, the author provides a chart whereby one can evaluate their life to see if perhaps they manipulate and what it looks like in practical ways in their communication methods. Priolo also mixes into this section, specific passages of the Bible that help set the stage for an evaluation of this common to man issue. Priolo also provides for the reader a definition of foolishness and then he gives some counsel on how we should respond to foolishness, since manipulation is at its core, foolishness.
In considering how to respond to manipulation, Priolo provides the reader with snapshots of how the Lord Jesus Christ responded to manipulation. Jesus, who is fully God and fully man, ran into various attempts by people who were seeking to manipulate him. Thus, the author speaks of Martha's attempt to manipulate Jesus in Luke 10, Mary and Joseph's attempt to manipulate Him in Luke 2, the Pharisees perpetual practice of manipulation at various points in the four gospels, the Chief Priests and scribes doing likewise, and even Mrs. Zebedee (Matthew 20), all working to manipulate Jesus to give them something that they wanted, or, to stop doing things that they hated, etc. Priolo shows how Jesus responded to the various attempts to manipulate Him. We know He was the master teacher and He skillfully and in perfect, godly fashion dealt with all scenarios in which He had to handle manipulative people. Priolo also highlights the misuse of guilt that is so much a pattern in how manipulators function. There are specific statements manipulators use to get what they want. Priolo highlights these statements. Then, Priolo gives a set of snapshots of manipulation as illustrations of what manipulation looks like in various relationships: Friend to friend, mother to daughter, husband to wife, employer to employee, wife to husband, church leader to church member, etc. With each of these, he then provides a biblical response to the manipulation.
In the last section of the booklet, Priolo provides a very practical worksheet for evaluating manipulation. He structures this in such a way that a person may list specific remarks that are made to them that are manipulative in nature, then a space where the person can write out a biblical response to the manipulation.
This booklet is a great starting point for one who wants to evaluate his/her life to see if they manipulate or if they are being manipulated, but it doesn't just leave the reader with a way to diagnose this, but it also provides an answer to how one is to respond to manipulation. It is a practical and helpful book and one that I believe needs to be read by many people. In saying that, I'm hopefully not manipulating, but merely persuading.
September 12, 2022
This short book provides examples on crafting a response to manipulation.
Two anti-manipulation devices
1) Appeal to the conscience of the manipulator to fulfill specific, personal, biblical responsibilities.
2) Appeal to God's Word (or God's Will in His Word) as the standard by which the manipulator is to be judged.
Example 1: Jesus responds to Martha's attempt to pressure Him into telling Mary to help her instead of listening to His Word: "Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her."
1) Jesus appealed to her personal responsibilities, that she ought not to worry (Matt. 6:25).
2) Jesus appealed to God's will, that man should feast on God's Word, as Mary did.
Example 2: Jesus responds to the Pharisees who accused the disciples of breaking the sabbath by stripping off grain heads to eat.
1) Jesus appealed to their personal responsibility that they should have known the Scriptures. "Have you not even read what David did when he was hungry . . ."
2) Jesus appealed to Scripture that if it was lawful for David to break the law by eating the showbread, it is lawful for Him to violate man-made traditions because He is the Lord of the Sabbath.
Evaluate whether you have sinned or whether there is a basis for obligating you to do things apart from scripture:
• Manipulative comment: "How can you do this to me?"
• Biblical response: "Have I sinned against you? Are you upset with me about something that God isn't?"
Two anti-manipulation devices
1) Appeal to the conscience of the manipulator to fulfill specific, personal, biblical responsibilities.
2) Appeal to God's Word (or God's Will in His Word) as the standard by which the manipulator is to be judged.
Example 1: Jesus responds to Martha's attempt to pressure Him into telling Mary to help her instead of listening to His Word: "Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her."
1) Jesus appealed to her personal responsibilities, that she ought not to worry (Matt. 6:25).
2) Jesus appealed to God's will, that man should feast on God's Word, as Mary did.
Example 2: Jesus responds to the Pharisees who accused the disciples of breaking the sabbath by stripping off grain heads to eat.
1) Jesus appealed to their personal responsibility that they should have known the Scriptures. "Have you not even read what David did when he was hungry . . ."
2) Jesus appealed to Scripture that if it was lawful for David to break the law by eating the showbread, it is lawful for Him to violate man-made traditions because He is the Lord of the Sabbath.
Evaluate whether you have sinned or whether there is a basis for obligating you to do things apart from scripture:
• Manipulative comment: "How can you do this to me?"
• Biblical response: "Have I sinned against you? Are you upset with me about something that God isn't?"
November 13, 2008
In an age of delusion, a culture of cunning craftiness and as one facing the spiritual fight, I found this book to be a great help in self-examination as well as providing the weapons of spiritual warfare in the cosmic battle for Truth.
August 31, 2015
This was an exceptional little book, full of wisdom, it is easy to read and understand. Every christian should read this book.
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews