Jump to ratings and reviews
Rate this book

The Cure for Sleep

Rate this book
Just days into motherhood, a woman begins dying. Fast and without warning.

On return from near-death, Tanya Shadrick vows to stop sleepwalking through life. To take more risks, like the characters in the fairy tales she loved as a small girl, before loss and fear had her retreat into routine and daydreams.

Around the care of young children, she starts to play with the shape and scale of her days: to stray from the path, get lost in the woods, make bargains with strangers.

As she moves beyond her respectable roles as worker, wife and mother in a small town, Tanya learns what it takes - and costs - to break the spell of longing for love, approval, safety, rescue.

330 pages, Hardcover

Published January 20, 2022

25 people are currently reading
602 people want to read

About the author

Tanya Shadrick

3 books28 followers
What happens when you realise that you must change your life?

When - after years of hiding in routine, shrinking from opportunity, and sleepwalking through your days - you know you want more.

How do you remake your life without breaking it?

Tanya Shadrick is the author of THE CURE FOR SLEEP: On Waking Up, Breaking Free & Making a More Creative Life - her debut memoir of returning from sudden near-death determined to live her second life on a larger, braver scale: whatever it takes, or costs.

A Waterstones Non-Fiction Book of 2022
An Evening Standard Non-Fiction Book for 2022

Ratings & Reviews

What do you think?
Rate this book

Friends & Following

Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!

Community Reviews

5 stars
91 (40%)
4 stars
74 (32%)
3 stars
42 (18%)
2 stars
13 (5%)
1 star
6 (2%)
Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews
Profile Image for Amy Alice.
420 reviews25 followers
February 24, 2022
This book was more than a book. More than a reading experience. More than an after effect.
I picked this book up from Waterstones when I was searching for a book published in 2022 and a book that I knew nothing about. I was intrigued by the picture and the title, had a quick check to see that it was a 2022 book, happily saw it was a memoir, and off I went to the cafe next door to consume it.
The writing is beautiful, and incredibly intimate. There's a nakedness to the story that feels like you alone are being trusted and invited in to learn more about the making of Tanya Shadrick. There is a clean and yet concise approach to the topics of trauma and recovery that mesmerised me. I had a few library books to make my way through after my initial jaunt at the cafe but couldn't stop thinking about it, and when I finally was free to pick her back up, I devoured it.
This is memoir writing at its finest. There is something profoundly and beautifully female about this that I can't quite put my finger on to explain further. This is exploration into female experience and female strength that draws me back, time and time again, to mostly female writers, never regretting or feeling I'm missing out when THIS is the energy we can experience.
I am left reminded of my book hangovers after reading I Am, I Am, I Am and Hamnet by Maggie O'Farrell, scared to pick anything up that would sully the excellence of what I have just read, books that would have ordinarily excited me now look like frivolity. I am sure it will pass. I know that my love for this book, will not. An honour to have it on my bookshelves, an honour to be one of the first to read it, envious of those yet to discover it.
Profile Image for segosha.
222 reviews18 followers
April 20, 2022
This book had such a great start and then it withered away for me.

It felt over-crafted. Towards the end every other paragraph was a different, beautifully written metaphor for some seismic shift in her life but nothing was concrete, I had nothing to ground the story in. It was as if she had a load of chunks of carefully composed text on index cards and just shuffled them and wrote some connecting sentences, nabokov style. It didn't work for me. At one point she describes her lover saying he couldn't keep up with her, he had too much weight to carry, and I couldn't tell if they were meant to be on a nice hike together or this was just an overarching statement on their relationship and like, I should be able to tell! I should know where we are in time and place! The story shouldn't be so bogged down in talking around the margins of what's actually happening!!

It felt grandiose and brave and also tiring and boring. I came away deeply uninspired, somehow.

Also Nye is an absolute diamond and I hope he is out there enjoying his videogames unashamedly.
Profile Image for Rebecca.
4,185 reviews3,448 followers
January 30, 2022
(3.5) Shadrick hangs around the fringes of nature writing cliques on Twitter, so I expected this to have more of a nature/travel element. Instead, it bears a fairy tale ambience, of a little girl lost in the woods and craving freedom; of a sleepwalking woman deciding to live more deliberately. It opens with a near-death experience: Shadrick, new mother to a son conceived after infertility treatment, suffered a severe haemorrhage after the placenta tore an artery and was rushed to hospital for emergency surgery.

From this point she returns to the beginning of her life and proceeds chronologically, pausing at joyful or traumatic moments. Her childhood feels like the key to understanding everything else: her father left when she was a baby; her mother, all too aware of being of lower class, was driven to improve herself. Shadrick wanted her mother all to herself, at the same time as she felt trapped by her. She injured herself jumping off an outhouse roof in protest at her mother’s new boyfriend, who became her stepfather. At university she reacted against her upbringing in predictable ways, failing her first year and having an abortion. Even once happily married, she kept unconsciously searching for surrogate father (older male) figures.

After the postnatal operation, she felt a need to escape – by suicide if necessary – yet forced herself to stay, make connections in her town and be present for her children. But she remained a free spirit, swimming and writing a mile-long scroll as public performance art. Her work with hospice patients, recording their memories, qualified her to edit Lynne Roper’s wild swimming diaries into a Wainwright Prize-longlisted book.

Awakening versus sleep is the figurative framework for the memoir, with a feminist insistence on freedom and self-fulfilment at the same time as being a mother. This is an unusual book – at times overwritten and too deliberately moulded into tropes as a rebuttal to randomness, even though, looking back, I can’t decipher a coherent plot to the events – that reminded me most of Free Woman by Lara Feigel and I Am, I Am, I Am by Maggie O’Farrell.

Originally published on my blog, Bookish Beck.
Profile Image for Lindsey Preston.
116 reviews7 followers
April 18, 2023
This is the second time I’ve ‘experienced’ this book. The first time I read it, some time ago. Then this time I listened, on audible. Tanya narrates her story beautifully and hearing her voice makes every word all the more meaningful, she has a lovely way of both writing and speaking.
A near death experience results in Tanya having a ‘born again’ epiphany. She contemplates her life so far and talks of its deep impact on who she had become. Tanya writes with such passion about women, in particular, and how often they don’t have the opportunities to have their stories heard, to have their say.
This is a truly beautiful account of her life and her story so far, I highly recommend you read it or listen to it too.
Profile Image for Paul.
2,230 reviews
March 9, 2022
The birth of a child is supposed to be a joyous moment, the reality is often different though, especially with a first child, as mother and father cope with the new arrival and the new responsibilities that it brings. After giving birth to her first child, at first Tanya Shadrick was ok, but a few days after she began bleeding. The carpet and her dress darkened with blood. They run for help and the ambulance arrived in minutes. She was hurriedly strapped to the bed and raced to the hospital.

Her placenta had torn an artery and she was bleeding to death. The consultant left them alone for a moment to say goodbye; until that point the reality of how bad it was hit them. She didn’t know if she would ever see them again…

She did.

This book is the story of her life. She writes about growing up in her childhood and her absent father and the inner turmoil that that causes. We hear about her time at university where she meets her husband Nye and the quiet modest life that they chose to live and the decision to have a child. It was that pivot point of nearly losing everything that galvanised her into taking the opportunities that she never thought a working-class upbringing would offer.

Shadrick decided to make a ‘mile of writing’ written in her local swimming pool, This handwritten art was telling the stories of the swimmers who used the pool and in the end gave her a fellowship of the Royal Society of Arts. She made a friend with a lady called Lynne Roper who had begun swimming outdoors in 2011 while recovering from a double mastectomy. She wrote about this but then was diagnosed with a brain tumour. Shadrick not only edited her words into a cohesive whole but started a publishing company to print it as no one else was interested.

This is a searingly honest book of a woman who tries to come to terms with the things that happened in her childhood and whilst she doesn’t necessarily try to make sense of them, there is a sense in the book of release from those burdens. The prose feels like an intimate conversation with a friend, she is entrusting us, the reader, with those details that you would never normally ever know outside the context of a relationship. Following that time when she nearly lost her life because of the haemorrhaging, she has used it to build her own inner strength. But it has not been an easy path, making the choices that she has, has not always met with approval from her friends or family. But it has given her a new life in art and a courage to speak for herself and other women. This might not be everyone’s choice of book, but I would recommend reading it as you might discover something about yourself that you never knew you were capable of.
Profile Image for Katy Wheatley.
1,399 reviews55 followers
February 6, 2022
This is an incredible memoir. Shadrick recounts how, after a near death experience when her son is born, she is left utterly raw and having to piece together a life for herself. Juggling the needs of motherhood and being a wife against the insistent demands that her newly awakened mind makes on her, she has to find a way to honour her true self. This is at times, painful to read, but so powerful and important. It shows with no niceties, the push and pull of what life demands of us and what we demand of ourselves. It prioritises the importance of the creative life and shows what great obstacles Shadrick found in her way, from her past to her relatives to her fear and society as a whole. I have never read anything like this. I think it's brilliant.
Profile Image for Tineke.
52 reviews12 followers
March 7, 2022
One of the best books I have ever read.
Profile Image for Tanya.
1,373 reviews24 followers
November 15, 2023
I went without rest, searching always for ways to escape my self and the pain of living. To slip my skin and merge, forever, with something beyond me. I tried mothering, unpaid acts of service, immersion in cold water, the making of art, and then – lastly, disastrously – I hoped to get lost in love. [loc. 3257]

When Tanya Shadrick was 33 years old, just after the birth of her first child, she suffered an arterial tear and almost died. The experience made her feel that she had to break free from marriage and motherhood: simultaneously, she knew that she had to stay. The Cure for Sleep is her account of making public art, coming to terms with her difficult relationships with her parents (meek mother, absent father, ogrish stepfather) and her loving but perhaps claustrophobic marriage. She sat by the lido in Lewes for two summers, writing a mile of text; she spent a year repainting the railings around a vandalised tree; she embarked upon an ill-omened affair. And she opened herself to the world, and to its opportunities.

Given the subtitle -- 'On Waking Up, Breaking Free and Making a More Creative Life' -- I'd put off reading this book, I think because I expected it to be prescriptive: to tell me, too, how to stop sleepwalking through my life and reawaken my creativity. It's actually more of a memoir, and Shadrick is a very different person, in a very different place, to myself. (I have the free time she craves; I don't think I have the desperate drive to create, or the desire to create as performatively.) Her writing is beautiful though sometimes over-poetic: I felt she'd bashed away at some sentences until they were beautiful, regardless of whether the raw meaning was retained. Her account of her solitary childhood and her longing to escape her childhood home rang horribly true, and I think perhaps the most powerful aspect of the book for me was her gradual acceptance of her mother, despite the continuing friction between them.

Fulfils the ‘Author who shares your name’ rubric of the Annual Non-Fiction Reading Challenge.


How would it be to give to myself, for even a short while, such kindness? To spend time learning or recovering what I loved, what I yearned for? To ask for exactly what I needed, as my children were able to do? [loc. 1831]

Profile Image for Orla.
35 reviews1 follower
August 21, 2023
3.5? i’m not sure what to think tbh, a bit confusing but a bit inspiring ?
Profile Image for Skye Cleary.
Author 7 books78 followers
May 17, 2022
A powerful book. The stream of consciousness style develops an immediate and intense sort of intimacy. I felt like a friend coming with the author on her journey of trauma and transformation. Written in an incredibly beautiful, magical way. Highly recommend.
Profile Image for Anna Bennett.
145 reviews2 followers
March 30, 2022
“A mile of writing. What patience it would take. What nerve. To be a woman in middle age, taking up space, claiming attention. Making an exhibition of myself. What Mother said I must never, ever do. Beyond the pale. Outside the fenced enclosure; into disrepute. Could it be done? What might it do to my life if I tried?”

I loved this book. Shadrick's honesty and poetic imagination are addictive. A moving exploration of art, personal history, motherhood, love and death. What could be better?
101 reviews16 followers
August 15, 2022
Hmm. What was the awakening? You took up swimming and had an affair. That's everyone in their forties...
Profile Image for Noits.
324 reviews13 followers
August 27, 2023
It is rare for a book to touch you in such a way that you feel it to be life-changing. Often what feels to be so, rarely is. But lately two books have inspired me to take up my pen again: Zambreno’s ‘Drifts’ (sublime) and this one. The noise in the literary world had been so clamorous, I’d become tone deaf to my own muse. These two books were like donning noice cancelling headphones. Thoughts becomes whole and pure again.

I found myself moved spontaneously, as I read, to record emotions and suppressed feelings in a way I’ve not encountered before. Not to curate titbits of Shadrick’s, to add to my compendium of quotes, but to to truly engage and reflect on the instances her prose conjured from my depths. As with Zambreno, I felt myself to be in dialogue with the writer, whose life experience, though not mirroring my own, struck deep, triggering melodious chords. So much so I desired to reach out, invoke a real conversation, to engage in reality. I didn’t and likely won’t, but that desire is real.

There was a point early on, on recounting the birth of her daughter, that I found myself silently crying, soulful tears rolling down my cheeks, as her words excavated a hitherto unacknowledged experience of my own daughter’s birth.

An incredibly honest read. She is Woolfian without the sour pall of imitation. A writer to admire and learn from. I can well understand why the Woolf podcast brought her in!
Profile Image for Emily Carter.
8 reviews
January 12, 2023
The first book I’ve ever had to DNF.
The writing is far too flowery for me, there’s too many adjectives used, making it hard to understand the point being made. At times it seemed far too easy to get confused by the description and miss the point altogether. It also seemed as though the book moved too fast, despite the long litany of adjectives, it felt like details were glossed over and so one could not fully grasp the events being described.
It also felt as though Shadrick jumps between time periods without any indication that she is doing so, making it hard to work out what happened when.
It felt way too difficult to read, this taking all enjoyment out of it.
I’d been looking forward to reading this after hearing Shadrick chair a panel at Ilkley literature festival and so was disappointed to have not been able to finish it. Her description of the book and the story she tells was enthralling and so it is disappointing to not have been able to enjoy reading it
Profile Image for Michelle Kirby.
41 reviews2 followers
July 16, 2023
It is rare that you find a book that speaks to you. The prose is precise, measured rammed full of familiar thoughts. Ir charts the very specific yet generic experience of female life, a quiet yet profound exploration of what it is to be a girl, wife, mother when what society dictates for all of those things is not enough. She works hard to try ro find her best and to stop the clarion call for more...it is messy and the impact of her choices, and those of her female and male folk before her resonare through the book. And the book itself, and her profound writing, is the culmination of it all.

It is brave, somehow unfinished yet a tour de force. She was talking to me and validating much of my thinking over the years. And why it is so important for all, women especially to be awake in life. The reductionist living of a sleepwalker will never work, as her story demonstrates.

Wonderful
Profile Image for Bella Fitzpatrick.
234 reviews4 followers
March 28, 2022
When I started this book on audible I was so struck that Shadricks prose that I stopped on my walk to inhale deeply.

Next, having already spent my audible credible on the book, immediately sought the physical book so I could see the exquisite sentences on paper.

However, my enjoyment of this book took a huge dip in the middle. Soon I became tired of her turns of phrase, and felt it was all a bit grandiose.

I think it’s very brave, and very good and could be an article? I dunno it’s a very long way to say “I don’t think I want to be a mom”.

Definitely worth a read, especially for aspiring artists.
Profile Image for Sue.
267 reviews10 followers
May 8, 2023
An unusual book and one that I both struggled and adored. My current place in life - jumbled emotions about family and relationships - aging and still seeking - meant that I nibbled at this book late at night for months.

The rawness of expression by Tanya caught me off guard at times and tugged hard at my own heart's struggles. The honesty was incredible and available for all to see.

The writing style challenged me at times, a stream of consciousness that I had to reread often to find meaning and context.

For me it requires a second and more intense read to fully grasp all that is there.

Profile Image for Aaron Milliau.
31 reviews3 followers
July 23, 2023
As someone who has died and resurrected, given another chance, another life this book has been a guide. I have never read words so poetically elegant describing pains and confusion I feel so deeply rooted inside me, carved in me through a life altering event. My struggles with love and abandonment. I am so very grateful for this book and how many times I felt deeply spoken to, from childhood trauma to the physical and mental trauma of a second life. The fears and anxiety I feel is not something only I carry, they are different than my first life and never have I ever heard someone describe these evolved feelings and thoughts so grouse. Thank you Tanya Shadrick
Profile Image for Susan MacLeod.
16 reviews1 follower
November 9, 2022
I did not like her floral over writing and I found her story about herself boring and self indulgent. I know a lot of people found this book magnificent but I think it is probably one of the worst books I have ever read. A friend of mine loved it and I suffered through it trying to understand what she found in it that made it so outstanding.I was shocked to see how many people loved it.I did not expect these positive reviews.
Profile Image for Wolfette.
41 reviews1 follower
January 3, 2023
The rawness of this book is exhilarating. I felt as if I was tumbling through time with this account of a woman’s life as she slowly, and sometimes painfully, becomes the artist she was always meant to be. The opening chapter is devastating, and it’s written with such absolute clarity that it took my breath away. The writing is brilliant and this is one of the best books I have read. Amazing work.
2 reviews
August 30, 2022
I loved this book in a way that made me simultaneously want to keep it close by me for days after finishing it so that I could keep a piece of how it made me feel by my side, and want to give it away immediately to everyone and anyone so they too could experience what it is to read it. A memoir that reads like fiction that shares a story and way of being and seeing that is extraordinary.
16 reviews1 follower
April 30, 2022
I truly enjoyed this book. Tanya has worked hard at coming to terms with her life. She draws you in with her words and descriptions. Ask your library to purchase this as it doesn't seem to be readily available in the US.
Profile Image for Ali W.
48 reviews1 follower
October 23, 2023
3.5. Interesting, intriguing, indulgent and often irritating. At times I felt it was just overwritten. This seemed to get worse further into the book. A decade or so ago I might have thought this book was brilliant.
Profile Image for Catherine Jeffrey.
850 reviews5 followers
August 19, 2023
After a near death experience the author begins to reshape her life, and as the reader you feel challenged to do likewise. A totally absorbing book that resonates long after you finish reading it.
Profile Image for Ana Bakalinova.
2 reviews1 follower
May 10, 2023
My life is much more interesting than the author’s one and yet I haven’t written a book 😂

I found it so boring - her story, her way of writing - I left it halfway. Don’t bother there is no substance.
Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews

Can't find what you're looking for?

Get help and learn more about the design.