Swim, Bike, Bonk: Confessions of a Reluctant Triathlete

by Will McGough

Just as George Plimpton had his proverbial cup of coffee in the NFL as the un-recruited and certainly unwanted fourth-string quarterback for the Detroit Lions, so, too, did Will McGough immerse himself in a sport he had no business trying. Like Plimpton, whose football folly turned into the bestselling Paper Lion, travel and outdoor writer McGough writes of his participation in, around, and over the course of one of the world's premier triathlons, the annual 140.6-mile Ironman in Tempe, Arizona. McGough chronicles the Ironman’s history, his unorthodox training, the pageantry of the race weekend, and his attempt to finish the epic event. The narrative follows not just his race but also explores the cult and habits of the triathlete community, beginning with the first Ironman competition in Hawaii in 1978. This is a light-hearted, self-deprecating, and at times hilarious look at one man's attempt to conquer the ultimate endurance sport, with a conclusion that will surprise and delight both dedicated triathletes as well as strangers to the sport.

Genres: Sports, Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography Memoir

320 pages, Paperback

First published November 1, 2019

About the author

Will McGough is an award-winning international travel writer and the owner of Wake and Wander Media. He graduated from Virginia Tech a long time ago and has written for a variety of adventure and travel publications. He also guides trips and splits his time between Hawaiʻi, Colorado, and the road.

Reviews

[Lance · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an interesting topic and the author bared his soul (and more at times) but it just got bogged down with a lot of detail. Will McGough's journey from regular exercise to Ironman competitor is filled with much humor, especially on some topics that feel like there is too much information. An example of that is the "bonk" portion of this book. Even though his portions of the book are small compared to the amount of information found online on such information as defecating and throwing up while competing, it still felt like too much information and too much detail. The same thing goes when he mentioned how his sex life was suffering while he was training. McGough seems to want to make sure the reader knows every last detail about his training and his racing. Don't get me wrong, some of these stories are great reads, such as when he is shopping for a bicycle. But overall, the book was only okay for me while crawling to a halt with some of the details. It might be a very good read for those who are triathletes/Ironmen (and women) but a casual reader of running books will probably want to pass on this one.

[Hayley · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book caught my eye at the secondhand bookstore. First, let’s clear the air: the title “Swim, Bike, Bonk” does not refer to athletes that could be on the cover of Sports Illustrated, bonking in their hotel rooms. McGough is referring to the puking, diarrhea sort of bonk – when you hit a wall during endurance sports and you cannot finish the race (at that point, your body has given out and willpower can do nothing to save you).

Who is the audience for this book? Those who will enjoy it is a slim one. For the first half, triathletes will likely hate it, and McGough readily admits that triathletes hate people like him – simply deciding to give the Ironman a go, without first understanding the commitment. On the other side, someone who has not tried a tri would not enjoy his descriptions of logging miles and his trial and errors with diet either. I read this book from a good place. I’ve completed a few triathlons in my life. I’m not in hyper-sensitive anxious mode leading up to a race, but I’m active enough not to feel depressed about someone else’s athletic achievements.

McGough gets points for living in Hawaii and adding chapters about the start of it all: the first Ironman was a friendly activity with 15 competitors in O’ahu (later moved to Kona due to the increased volume of participants).

What he doesn’t get:
He has no budget, as in no room to spend. Triathlon is an expensive sport. Near the end of his journey, there are hints he might realize this, when his $200 cheap wetsuit aggravated his shoulder, risking injury and his swim pace. That’s why people are willing to spend the big bucks on a properly fitted suit! He does not have the budget to register for shorter tris, which is poor planning. The shock of racing, if you’ve never done it before, can cost you the race. He does do well exposing the Ironman corporation, pointing out its absurd marketing and how Ironman has become an exploit for consumerism.

He doesn’t get his bike until very late into his training. His early training on the stationary bike at YMCA would be a joke for most triathletes. Cycling in the saddle on the road is an entirely different beast.

He has to learn to respect endurance. There is no muscling through it. His friend early on says the race is 90% mental. I disagree. Yes, there is a mental component but it’s not 90% mental if you haven’t put in the training hours. You can’t mentally push past it when your body is rejecting you, eliminating fluid at either one end. From the posts McGough reads in the forums, dozens of people have experienced the bonk - not finishing, despite their mental drive and determination.

McGough does learn endurance and the reality of training hours. He spends a weekend cycling 5 hours watching Netflix. My favourite part is when he has a successful long brick work out. His words bring me right back to my own training memories.

The feeling of a bike-run transition:

“The start of the run feels like I’m pulling a parachute. Everything is happening in slow motion, or so it seems. My thighs ache as they pound the payment, and a rhythm is hard to come by. After the first mile, that changes. […] I look at my watch…Wow. All along I had felt like I was barely moving, and yet, here I am, on a reasonable pace. I can feel the confidence building inside me as I realize my body knows the drill. I’ve practiced this bike-run transition more than a dozen times now, and it’s paying off. It’s hard to believe that two hours ago, I was resting my head on my handlebars at a stoplight. I could barely pedal. Now here I am, recharged, regrouped, running! It’s an amazing feeling, when you prove something to yourself like that. I can keep going.” (McGough 178)

What a brick training teaches you, which is why I love endurance sports:

“You have to get through the rough patches. Because you can get through them. That’s what training teaches you. When you hit a snag, you have to find a way around it, find a new position, choke down a GU, dig deep and get over the hump, physically and mentally. Even it if means dropping down a gear or six and getting your legs spinning again. Worry about the next thing when you get there. Don’t get too far ahead of yourself. I have learned all this today and I am glad for it.” (McGough 179)

From the intro, I was worried for him. I thought he would just have needed a little more training time. But he pulls it off. He mentions the things he had going for him. He is an excellent swimmer, used to the ocean which is a tougher beast than Tempe Arizona. Hiking and a long bike trip give him experience with the outdoors and mental grit, which kicks in for him on the bike loop. He keeps popping energy supplements to ensure he never gets dehydrated and he admits, he can digest bread very well. Other advantages that he doesn’t identify are that he is used to the transitions of travel, flying in to new places for short stays as a travel writer. Living in Hawaii, he is so used to hot weather that Arizona is chilly for him in the morning.

In the end, I really enjoyed Will’s arc and his afterthoughts about his experience. He rightly covers the “come-down” syndrome that athletes experience after a race. Although he has no interest in doing another triathlon, preferring “a bouquet of flowers” in his life, not just swim, bike, run, he learns the right takeaway (290). Triathlon gives you a fresh perspective to carry into other areas of your life.

[Jonathan Farrell · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was not what I expected. McGough, over confident and ignorant, registers for an Ironman. Not only will it be his first triathlon but he also has no experience running or cycling - though he was a strong swimmer in high school which works to his advantage. With no real idea of what it all means and only three months until the race, he starts off with incessant complaining about training, costs and triathlon culture. This didn't start things off well for me. Most of the time I just wanted to skip ahead to see if he finished the race. The book's chapters, as journal entries, count down the days to the race and by the time we get there the book has drastically changed. Through training, McGough developed some respect for the distance and even seemed to become (at least temporarily) a triathlete. The race report was great to read, I couldn't put it down. His perspective of the race experience feels vivid and familiar, making me want to register for a race while feeling happy that I'm not there. Overall an interesting book if you're interested in triathlons and the history of Ironman.

[Laura Crafton · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lots of details, probably too much for the average reader but I found it interesting and relatively inspiring

[Kyle Wendy Skultety (gimmethatbook.com) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thanks to NetGalley for this review copy!

I’m going to say right off the bat that this book is not for the faint of heart. The author talks frankly about peeing and pooping himself during training/racing, as well as how his sex life is suffering during his 3 months of intense training. If you don’t mind the gory details, read on.

The premise behind SWIM, BIKE, BONK is simple – the author signs up for a triathlon. However, it’s not just any old triathlon: he chooses an Ironman race where you swim 2.4 miles, bike 112 miles, then run a marathon (26.2 miles) immediately afterwards. In the beginning, he is very laissez-faire about his training, thinking that since he is young and in shape he won’t have any trouble. Everyone else around him speaks differently though. Eventually, he realizes that it won’t be that easy as his training miles mount up and he experiences the joy of a numb butt (and other parts) during a long bike ride.

The main part of the book consists of his training miles and his thoughts about same, interspersed with stories on buying just the right bike for the job, which Gatorade flavor is best, his fears about taking on too much, and how his endeavor is affecting his personal life. At times I skipped through some of the training miles because I wanted to get to the racing part to see what happened. Once the racing part started, he accurately captured the emotions and struggles of those involved. He writes about the bonk as he sees those experiencing it:

“With every step, another drop of life falls from their eyes”.

That is a great way to sum up how the bonk feels to a racer. I’ve only run in half marathons, but I have felt the bonk – and this book brings back memories of how it felt. There are some poignant emotions described at the end of the race, as well as afterwards. To finish a challenge such as this brings a wide range of feelings that can only really be understood by those who have done it. The author does his best to convey those feelings, however, and does a good job.

He also adds some thoughts about race volunteers (there was a failed lawsuit where they sued because they wanted to be paid) and how big the Ironman corporation really is. That part was surprising because I didn’t realize how fully corporate Ironman was. There is a lot of profit generated from these races.

SWIM, BIKE, BONK was a fun little read about one human’s desire to push himself to the limit. I think anyone who is interested in competing in the Ironman will love it, and those who run or bike competitively will also enjoy the author’s self-deprecating humor that shines through in most situations. As I mentioned, it’s not for the squeamish, but you can skip over those parts and still get the gist of the story.

[Nona Kiknadze · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hawai’i resident Will McGough is no couch potato-- a college athlete and professional travel writer, his work frequently takes him across the world to extreme destinations, where he partakes in trekking, biking, and other adventurous pastimes. A self-described “generally fit and active” guy, this athletic background is what gives McGough the confidence-- or some may say, naiveté -- to attempt what is considered one of the world’s hardest races, the Ironman triathlon, with only three months training.
A foreword by Gordon Haller sets the tone for the differences in the original, home-grown, 1978 Ironman in Hawai’i, and the current, multi-million dollar global industry that has sprung up around this brand. Those familiar with the Ironman in its current form will be interested in hearing about its roots and evolution over the past 40 years, and McGough captures this history with his trademark light-hearted and self-deprecating humor. Through rain and shine, injury and exhaustion, you follow McGough as heads towards his final destination, the grueling 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bicycle ride, and 26.22 mile marathon run of the Ironman Arizona. There is a distinct continuity to these stories-- the original Hawai’i race of 1978, done with little preparation or fanfare, and McGough’s modern attempt.
While the book covers his training plan, diet, and equipment with enough specificity to please the dedicated Ironman athlete, McGough balances the technicality with personal and historical anecdotes that make the story relevant to any audience. In immersing himself in this community, McGough is able to offer an insider perspective of just what this process is like, and does not hesitate in pointing out the uncomfortable, humorous, and down-right weird aspects of this event. All can agree that the Ironman is a commendable athletic feat, but it can be difficult for those who do not partake in the race to understand the level of enthusiasm dedicated triathletes have for this sport, and the emotional and physical toll it exacts. McGough outlines what it takes, but more importantly, what it requires giving up, to reach these elite levels of performance.
This book may motivate those who have not partaken in an Ironman themselves to attempt this race. But just as likely, it may make them more confident in their decision, as they sit and sip a beer after work, that this is something they never want to do, but nonetheless thoroughly enjoying hearing about the trials and tribulations of someone who is equal parts determined and foolish enough to attempt it. Suddenly, that half-marathon you’ve been talking about registering for seems slightly less unreasonable.
“Swim, Bike, Bonk” is for that specific subset of fitness-oriented people in your life whom compete for these Ironman triathlons, but even more broadly-- for the other 99%; the friends, relatives, significant others, support crews, and plain-old observers, who watch in dismay as their loved ones dedicate their waking hours to what some may call, just a race, while wondering just what in the world they were thinking. Poking fun at a consumer society that has turned a test of physical fitness into another expensive commodity available for purchase, McGough leaves you with the impression Ironman doesn’t have to be quite so expensive, or out of reach. It will, however, leave you quite sore.

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well, the title is misleading: Mr. McGough willingly signed up for a triathalon. He signed up for an Ironman: 2.4 miles swimming, 112 mile biking, and then a 26.2 run. It was his own choosing. On top of that, he chose to do it with very limited training time. The book's chapters count down the days to the race. After signing up, Mr. McGough spent a lot of time complaining about the need to train and to spend money to buy things to properly outfit himself to complete the race. I am not a fan of people who are unprepared and then whine about it. This did not start the book off well for me. I quickly learned that he was not going to follow most of the advice given to him by seasoned athletes or follow a consistent training plan. Sure, some people are able to stumble through events in this manner, but it is not something I prefer to read about. I also didn't need to read a multiple page dissertation on Gatorade flavors or about his sex life. Most of the time while reading the book, I wanted to skip ahead to the race itself. Finally, there, I got to enjoy his race report. I think this book was trying to appear to both seasoned triathletes and those who aren't athletes at all. The end result feels like it doesn't quite fit anywhere.

Thanks to NetGalley and Rowan & Littlefield for a copy of the book. This review is my own opinion.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

As someone going on about a year of being an active triathlete (aka rather new to the whole thing) this was such a fun and honest read. Although sometimes the details got a bit tedious, I absolutely loved the way Will shared the realities of training. From the way it affects your relationships, to your mindset about working out, the costs, breaking into the community, the horrors of chafing and GI issues, numbness and back pain. I can relate to it all. Will’s mindset challenged me to question my “why” and gave me some great perspective.

[Nickle Adams · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wasn't exactly inspired by the author, but the book was insightful. The author was nonchalant about running an ironman, and in the end completed it. The last chapter was the most valuable. I appreciate that he participated in an ironman in part to understand why someone does it. This book is a good read for someone that is resting between long workouts.

[Andrew Penning · Rating 4 out of 5]

I remember the first time hearing about a friend doing an Ironman and thinking, "I could never do that." Lately I've been thinking, "I think I want to do an Ironman." After reading the book I know I could do an Ironman. I'd sign up for one this summer if I could but it's just so damn expensive and my touring bike wouldn't be ideal for the bike portion. Maybe someday...

[Michael Teener · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was an interesting read to see the experience of someone doing a Iron Man for the first time having said that there were a lot of minutia level details that seem to pad the book. Overall, it was an enjoyable read.

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Get into the mind of an athlete. Very well written and such an interesting story. You will love this book.

[Sara Goldenberg · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was super great to read, especially since I’ll never do any of these activities. He writes well and it’s interesting until the end!!!

[Mark · Rating 2 out of 5]

Self-indulgent and dry. Couldn’t finish.

[Jill Loveland · Rating 4 out of 5]

This guy needed better friends! But great narrative from a first timer’s view. I felt for him throughout the book and was happy to see he was more then successful in his endeavor!

[Jennifer Hale · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall an interesting book if you’re interested in triathlons and the history of Ironman. Fun to read someone’s perspective of training and the experience.

[Michael Dougherty · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book. Very motivating, at least for me.