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I Would Haunt You If I Could
I would haunt you ...
The debut short story collection from Seán Padraic Birnie does indeed haunt. Sown with seeds of sorrow and grief, and imbued with disquieting bodily horrors, the tales in "I Would Haunt You If I Could" are the product of an uncanny and febrile imagination. Birnie's writing balances on the knife's edge of the horror and literary divide. Stories that cut and bleed. Stories that linger and haunt.
...if I could.
The debut short story collection from Seán Padraic Birnie does indeed haunt. Sown with seeds of sorrow and grief, and imbued with disquieting bodily horrors, the tales in "I Would Haunt You If I Could" are the product of an uncanny and febrile imagination. Birnie's writing balances on the knife's edge of the horror and literary divide. Stories that cut and bleed. Stories that linger and haunt.
...if I could.
252 pages, Paperback
First published March 23, 2021
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews
March 22, 2022
I first came across the work of Seán Padraic Birnie in the eighth instalment of Michael Kelly’s anthology of weird fiction Shadows and Tall Trees. Dollface, his contribution to that volume, features an apparently evil or cursed doll, a clear nod to a common trope of contemporary horror fiction. Yet, Birnie is less interested in the scares, than in the web of relationships between the narrator and his neighbour and their respective families. There is, throughout the story, a feeling of a rather drab normality going askew, a sense that something is disturbingly “off”, a flavour of ambiguity which invites readers to draw their own conclusions.
Dollface returns in I would Haunt You if I Could, Birnie’s debut collection of short stories issued this month by Canadian independent press Undertow Publications. Although the volume includes stories which have previously been in print, most of the tales are new to this collection. And they’re brilliant.
Birnie’s are unsettling stories which, as in Dollface, sometimes refer to or make use of established horror tropes, only to subvert them and create something new and more peculiar. Some examples… Out of the Blue features a father who comes back from the dead. But he’s neither a ghost nor a vampire, but just an ever-present, unspeaking presence – like a metaphor taking a solid shape. Other Houses is a “slipstream” story with elements of the haunted house and timeslip genres – but, again, the emphasis seems to be more on toxic familial relationships than on the supernatural/weird aspects of the tale. The horror element in Hand Me Down is a cursed baby monitor – but are we to take this literally or is the story a literary representation of post-natal depression?
This sense of ambiguity, as well as the “familial” context, runs like a thread through all the collection, including the longish title piece I Would Haunt You if I Could, whose narrator is coming to terms with grief caused by the death of a father and the ending of a relationship… and with a rediscovered telekinetic or telepathic gift.
Some of the stories are more conceptual – I’m thinking, for instance of Sisters, in which the protagonist creates – and gives life to – a copy of a dead sister. Or Holes and New to It All both of which use body horror in fresh, original – and very disturbing – ways.
What most strikes me about this collection of fourteen stories is the beauty and mastery of language found therein, worthy of the best fiction irrespective of style or genre.
https://endsoftheword.blogspot.com/20...
Dollface returns in I would Haunt You if I Could, Birnie’s debut collection of short stories issued this month by Canadian independent press Undertow Publications. Although the volume includes stories which have previously been in print, most of the tales are new to this collection. And they’re brilliant.
Birnie’s are unsettling stories which, as in Dollface, sometimes refer to or make use of established horror tropes, only to subvert them and create something new and more peculiar. Some examples… Out of the Blue features a father who comes back from the dead. But he’s neither a ghost nor a vampire, but just an ever-present, unspeaking presence – like a metaphor taking a solid shape. Other Houses is a “slipstream” story with elements of the haunted house and timeslip genres – but, again, the emphasis seems to be more on toxic familial relationships than on the supernatural/weird aspects of the tale. The horror element in Hand Me Down is a cursed baby monitor – but are we to take this literally or is the story a literary representation of post-natal depression?
This sense of ambiguity, as well as the “familial” context, runs like a thread through all the collection, including the longish title piece I Would Haunt You if I Could, whose narrator is coming to terms with grief caused by the death of a father and the ending of a relationship… and with a rediscovered telekinetic or telepathic gift.
Some of the stories are more conceptual – I’m thinking, for instance of Sisters, in which the protagonist creates – and gives life to – a copy of a dead sister. Or Holes and New to It All both of which use body horror in fresh, original – and very disturbing – ways.
What most strikes me about this collection of fourteen stories is the beauty and mastery of language found therein, worthy of the best fiction irrespective of style or genre.
https://endsoftheword.blogspot.com/20...
February 6, 2021
Perplexing and thought provoking webs laid for the reader, visceral and concise, with brevity at times and shorter minimalistic psychologically works leaving the reader to carry on the fiction, which can be a good thing.
You may just enjoy the little portals and snapshots the author immerses you into with splendid channelling of things in our inner and outer realm with these little frames of lives, complexities, ones with grief, humour and nostalgia, lost and found souls, peculiarities and fractured minds, with perplexing and haunting disquieting minutes that get under your skin.
This a first collection of the authors and leaves hope of many works to look forward to read next.
Check out breakdown of selected stories and excerpts only @
https://more2read.com/review/i-would-haunt-you-if-i-could-by-sean-padraic-birnie/
You may just enjoy the little portals and snapshots the author immerses you into with splendid channelling of things in our inner and outer realm with these little frames of lives, complexities, ones with grief, humour and nostalgia, lost and found souls, peculiarities and fractured minds, with perplexing and haunting disquieting minutes that get under your skin.
This a first collection of the authors and leaves hope of many works to look forward to read next.
Check out breakdown of selected stories and excerpts only @
https://more2read.com/review/i-would-haunt-you-if-i-could-by-sean-padraic-birnie/
August 28, 2021
This was a book that I had started reading a few months ago. I had gotten about 3/4ths of the way through and then other priorities pulled me away. When I went to pick it back up this month, I realized I couldn't remember much of what I had read, so I decided to chuck the bookmark and start from the beginning again. And oh man am I glad I did!
Such a powerful, visceral collection, even the second time around! A fabulous mix of body, ghost, and mental horror. Some of the stories unsettled me, others remained with me chewing on my brain, and one in particular completely grossed me out - I read it the way some people watch gory horror movies, through my fingers, with that weird icky feeling behind my knees, going no no no no noooo!
Undertow continues to knock it out of the park. They have ridiciously amazing taste!
Such a powerful, visceral collection, even the second time around! A fabulous mix of body, ghost, and mental horror. Some of the stories unsettled me, others remained with me chewing on my brain, and one in particular completely grossed me out - I read it the way some people watch gory horror movies, through my fingers, with that weird icky feeling behind my knees, going no no no no noooo!
Undertow continues to knock it out of the park. They have ridiciously amazing taste!
July 7, 2023
I thought Birnie's "Dollface" was one of the highlights of the otherwise largely mediocre Shadows and Tall Trees Vol. 8, and was happy to come across this.
Some strong pieces open the collection, with "New to it All" and "Like a Zip" showing Birnie's sure hand with body horror. "Out of the blue" gently maneuvers through mundane household situations with a revenant, and is somehow uncanny and uncomfortable. I like the stories where quotidian events dissolve into paranoia and delirium. "Hand Me Down" is an eerie tale of a baby monitor with a beautifully twisted ending; "The Turn" does so much with so little, taking the "running out of gas in the middle of nowhere" trope to that tense and surprising ending. I also liked the sharply rendered "Sister", a tense but elegiac tale about dealing with death.
I'm less enthusiastic about the stories in the second half. I liked the small reality slippages in the title story, but they didn't seem to develop, and the story was IMO a bit long for its material. "You Know what to Do" and "Other Houses" are both built around similar architectural anomalies (one of my favorite tropes). I enjoyed the latter more, but thought it could have been tighter.
Some strong pieces open the collection, with "New to it All" and "Like a Zip" showing Birnie's sure hand with body horror. "Out of the blue" gently maneuvers through mundane household situations with a revenant, and is somehow uncanny and uncomfortable. I like the stories where quotidian events dissolve into paranoia and delirium. "Hand Me Down" is an eerie tale of a baby monitor with a beautifully twisted ending; "The Turn" does so much with so little, taking the "running out of gas in the middle of nowhere" trope to that tense and surprising ending. I also liked the sharply rendered "Sister", a tense but elegiac tale about dealing with death.
I'm less enthusiastic about the stories in the second half. I liked the small reality slippages in the title story, but they didn't seem to develop, and the story was IMO a bit long for its material. "You Know what to Do" and "Other Houses" are both built around similar architectural anomalies (one of my favorite tropes). I enjoyed the latter more, but thought it could have been tighter.
July 8, 2022
3.5/5 stars rounded up to 4 for Goodreads!
“Death is scandalous, absurd, obscene. We manage it carefully, so as to ensure that its taint will not transfer on to us, the still-living and the not-yet-dead, even though it is always within us already, like an incubating virus, like planned obsolescence."
Like any short story collection, this one had its hits and misses. But all in all, I really enjoyed it (especially the stories that included body horror. Gotta love that cringe inducing body horror). Many of the stories seemed to have the theme of being haunted by grief and guilt, which was portrayed beautifully through Birnie's writing.
My favorites in this collection were:
"New to It All"
"Out of the Blue"
"Like a Zip"
"Holes"
"I Told You Not to Go"
"Dollface"
While not perfect, this is still a short story collection I'd want to add to my home library.
“Death is scandalous, absurd, obscene. We manage it carefully, so as to ensure that its taint will not transfer on to us, the still-living and the not-yet-dead, even though it is always within us already, like an incubating virus, like planned obsolescence."
Like any short story collection, this one had its hits and misses. But all in all, I really enjoyed it (especially the stories that included body horror. Gotta love that cringe inducing body horror). Many of the stories seemed to have the theme of being haunted by grief and guilt, which was portrayed beautifully through Birnie's writing.
My favorites in this collection were:
"New to It All"
"Out of the Blue"
"Like a Zip"
"Holes"
"I Told You Not to Go"
"Dollface"
While not perfect, this is still a short story collection I'd want to add to my home library.
April 2, 2021
Review in the April 2021 issue of Library Journal: https://www.libraryjournal.com/?revie...
And on the bloig [link live 4/5/21]: https://raforall.blogspot.com/2021/04...
Three Words That Describe This Book: terrifyingly mundane, character driven, disorienting.
Draft Review:
Birnie, Sean Padraic. I Would Haunt You If I Could [debut collection]
A solid debut story collection by British author Birnie containing 14 stories, 8 of which are original to this volume, presents Padaric as a promising new voice in the genre. The fear in these stories is character, not action, driven, tending to focus on familial relationships, with an intense sense of setting a visual stage, expertly informed by the author’s background in photography. However, the most striking thing about these tales is how mundanely the terror begins. This is horror that has every day beginnings, making the reading experience so much more enjoyably haunting and disorienting than readers will expect upon first entering this volume. “Out of the Blue, “Hand Me Down” and “Other Houses” are stellar examples of how the author contemplates normal family situations that begin weird and unsettling, moving into a terror readers will intimately feel before the story’s conclusion.
Verdict: Filled with thought provoking, character driven, psychologically horrific tales that veer slightly and satisfyingly into the weird, this is a collection that is reminiscent of the deeply unsettling and disorienting worlds of Samanta Schweblin and Dan Chaon or the backlist gem,Travelers Rest by Keith Lee Morris.
A solid debut story collection. Some were amazing, others fine, none bad. Promising voice that I would like to see more from.
More than half of the stories are original to the collection. These are thought provoking, character centered psychological horror stories that veer into the weird. Many focus on familial relationships. I was struck by how the horror begins so mundanely. It is a word I wrote multiple times as I took notes. And the fact that the horror has such normal, every day beginnings makes it all so much more haunting and disorienting. Everything is just tipped over the dark edge of "normal."
The story and the fear are all character driven.
Fav stories: "Out of the Blue" near beginning hooked me into the collection. dad comes back from the dead and just stays. Not menacing, not smelly. Just stays. "Hand Me Down" was a terrifying new mother story involving a haunted baby monitor, but again, it is a mundane and subtle haunting. "I Told You Not to Go" is short but is also the perfect example of the feel of these stories. A longer one, "Other Houses" at the end was originally and very creepy-- a family. barely held together through a house, where multiple realities exists at the same time.
Readalikes: Samanta Schweblin for sure. Also Dan Chaon. The collection as a whole remind my of the novel Travelers Rest, a backlist favorite of mine. Same feel. mundane situation causing terror, with just the right touch of the weird.
And on the bloig [link live 4/5/21]: https://raforall.blogspot.com/2021/04...
Three Words That Describe This Book: terrifyingly mundane, character driven, disorienting.
Draft Review:
Birnie, Sean Padraic. I Would Haunt You If I Could [debut collection]
A solid debut story collection by British author Birnie containing 14 stories, 8 of which are original to this volume, presents Padaric as a promising new voice in the genre. The fear in these stories is character, not action, driven, tending to focus on familial relationships, with an intense sense of setting a visual stage, expertly informed by the author’s background in photography. However, the most striking thing about these tales is how mundanely the terror begins. This is horror that has every day beginnings, making the reading experience so much more enjoyably haunting and disorienting than readers will expect upon first entering this volume. “Out of the Blue, “Hand Me Down” and “Other Houses” are stellar examples of how the author contemplates normal family situations that begin weird and unsettling, moving into a terror readers will intimately feel before the story’s conclusion.
Verdict: Filled with thought provoking, character driven, psychologically horrific tales that veer slightly and satisfyingly into the weird, this is a collection that is reminiscent of the deeply unsettling and disorienting worlds of Samanta Schweblin and Dan Chaon or the backlist gem,Travelers Rest by Keith Lee Morris.
A solid debut story collection. Some were amazing, others fine, none bad. Promising voice that I would like to see more from.
More than half of the stories are original to the collection. These are thought provoking, character centered psychological horror stories that veer into the weird. Many focus on familial relationships. I was struck by how the horror begins so mundanely. It is a word I wrote multiple times as I took notes. And the fact that the horror has such normal, every day beginnings makes it all so much more haunting and disorienting. Everything is just tipped over the dark edge of "normal."
The story and the fear are all character driven.
Fav stories: "Out of the Blue" near beginning hooked me into the collection. dad comes back from the dead and just stays. Not menacing, not smelly. Just stays. "Hand Me Down" was a terrifying new mother story involving a haunted baby monitor, but again, it is a mundane and subtle haunting. "I Told You Not to Go" is short but is also the perfect example of the feel of these stories. A longer one, "Other Houses" at the end was originally and very creepy-- a family. barely held together through a house, where multiple realities exists at the same time.
Readalikes: Samanta Schweblin for sure. Also Dan Chaon. The collection as a whole remind my of the novel Travelers Rest, a backlist favorite of mine. Same feel. mundane situation causing terror, with just the right touch of the weird.
April 24, 2021
Sean Padraic Birnie’s first collection is really good and the mixture of shorter and longer stories very welcome. Doll Face, Out of the Blue, Company and Other Houses were faves. The descriptions of feeling disconnected from reality in ‘Other Houses’ were almost uncomfortably resonant for me and it’s probably one of my fave stories I’ve read this year. As usual ratings below.
- Sister (7)
- Out of the Blue (8)
- Other Houses (9)
- The Turn (6)
- Lucida (4)
- Doll Face (8)
- New to it All (7)
- Like a Zip (7)
- Hand Me Down (7)
- Holes (7)
- Company (8)
- I Told You Not to Go (7)
- You Know What to Do (7)
- I Would Haunt You if I Could (8)
- Sister (7)
- Out of the Blue (8)
- Other Houses (9)
- The Turn (6)
- Lucida (4)
- Doll Face (8)
- New to it All (7)
- Like a Zip (7)
- Hand Me Down (7)
- Holes (7)
- Company (8)
- I Told You Not to Go (7)
- You Know What to Do (7)
- I Would Haunt You if I Could (8)
February 7, 2021
Right from the very first story, I realized this book to be a great revelation of the weird. Leaving me apprehensive and yet elated for more. Visiting the inner workings of one's mind, and discovering the machinations at work when the mind needs to decipher if rather its world is wrong or if its wrong in its self. The decisions we make when faced with the unusual and weird. Just another day, or another page, in "I Would Haunt You If I Could".
This debut short story collection from Sean Padraic Birnie includes never seen before weird fiction, followed by a handful of previously published titles in such works as; Shadows and Tall Trees by Michael Kelly, Black Static by Andy Cox, and Oculus Sinister by CM Muller.
A professional photographer and writer, Sean Padraic Birnie, is a natural artist.
"I Would Haunt You If I Could", published by Undertow Publication in both Paperback and Limited Deluxe Hardcover Editions, is a great success. I'm especially fond of the following stories;
"New to it all" A new girlfriend, new fetish. Extreme biting for pleasure, but when is it too far.
"Out of the blue" A return of a loved one, hollowed out of life but back from the dead none the less. Now a family secret is hidden away.
"Hand me down" Danny seems to be losing her mind and her brother is nowhere to be found. And an ending with a perfect twist.
"I told you to go" An old couple watching tv. The story begins with tragedy as well as ends with it. Romantic in its own way.
"Sister" A family distraught with loss. A sister motivated to change that.
"Other houses" Lady seems to remember a staircase no one else can. A camera is full of pictures of what seems to be a different world of truths.
I wasn't able to get into a few of the shorter titles, such as; The Turn, Holes, and Lucida. Overall a great read and I couldn't put this one down. I'll be impatiently waiting for this author's next publication. I was given an advance reading copy of this book for an honest review.
This debut short story collection from Sean Padraic Birnie includes never seen before weird fiction, followed by a handful of previously published titles in such works as; Shadows and Tall Trees by Michael Kelly, Black Static by Andy Cox, and Oculus Sinister by CM Muller.
A professional photographer and writer, Sean Padraic Birnie, is a natural artist.
"I Would Haunt You If I Could", published by Undertow Publication in both Paperback and Limited Deluxe Hardcover Editions, is a great success. I'm especially fond of the following stories;
"New to it all" A new girlfriend, new fetish. Extreme biting for pleasure, but when is it too far.
"Out of the blue" A return of a loved one, hollowed out of life but back from the dead none the less. Now a family secret is hidden away.
"Hand me down" Danny seems to be losing her mind and her brother is nowhere to be found. And an ending with a perfect twist.
"I told you to go" An old couple watching tv. The story begins with tragedy as well as ends with it. Romantic in its own way.
"Sister" A family distraught with loss. A sister motivated to change that.
"Other houses" Lady seems to remember a staircase no one else can. A camera is full of pictures of what seems to be a different world of truths.
I wasn't able to get into a few of the shorter titles, such as; The Turn, Holes, and Lucida. Overall a great read and I couldn't put this one down. I'll be impatiently waiting for this author's next publication. I was given an advance reading copy of this book for an honest review.
March 24, 2021
"Something about the building seemed to inspire such modifications, as if it was never quite right, never quite made sense, but was always on the cusp of doing so—if you only changed this one small thing. And there was always that one small thing." ~ OTHER HOUSES
That quote is from the last story in the book, and it perfectly sums up my feeling towards this collection. While these tales are quiet and intimate, they're also off kilter and ambiguous. You don't get to know the rules ahead of time and you probably won't know them by the end. You'll think you know what's happening and you have to run with it because this book will never tell you differently. It's like reading while off-balance.
A few of the stories that stuck out to me (keeping this as vague as possible):
OUT OF THE BLUE - A man's father comes home to "live" with his family.
I WOULD HAUNT YOU IF I COULD - A woman is struggling after her father dies and her relationship ends. She learns more about her family and herself while coping.
YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO - A couple buys a new home from a highly motivated seller. There's a door in the cupboard.
OTHER HOUSES - A woman loses her father and isn't sure why she's the only one that remembers an event.
This isn't an easy read. It falls between literary horror and something else...not sure what exactly. It's beautifully written, with meaningful phrases repeated for effect. Just know that it is the opposite of straightforward. You'll be thinking about what you read and likely flipping back through the story to see if you missed something. You probably didn't, that's just the way these stories are. Though challenging and maybe a little frustrating at times, I never wanted to give up on it. I found it to be a rewarding reading experience and look forward to what Seán Padraic Birnie puts out next.
4/5 stars
* I was given an ebook ARC for review by the publisher
That quote is from the last story in the book, and it perfectly sums up my feeling towards this collection. While these tales are quiet and intimate, they're also off kilter and ambiguous. You don't get to know the rules ahead of time and you probably won't know them by the end. You'll think you know what's happening and you have to run with it because this book will never tell you differently. It's like reading while off-balance.
A few of the stories that stuck out to me (keeping this as vague as possible):
OUT OF THE BLUE - A man's father comes home to "live" with his family.
I WOULD HAUNT YOU IF I COULD - A woman is struggling after her father dies and her relationship ends. She learns more about her family and herself while coping.
YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO - A couple buys a new home from a highly motivated seller. There's a door in the cupboard.
OTHER HOUSES - A woman loses her father and isn't sure why she's the only one that remembers an event.
This isn't an easy read. It falls between literary horror and something else...not sure what exactly. It's beautifully written, with meaningful phrases repeated for effect. Just know that it is the opposite of straightforward. You'll be thinking about what you read and likely flipping back through the story to see if you missed something. You probably didn't, that's just the way these stories are. Though challenging and maybe a little frustrating at times, I never wanted to give up on it. I found it to be a rewarding reading experience and look forward to what Seán Padraic Birnie puts out next.
4/5 stars
* I was given an ebook ARC for review by the publisher
March 19, 2021
Review forthcoming.
April 10, 2021
It seems sacrilegious to even think that I might be able to do justice to such a major reading experience with an attempted summary, let alone the creation, as is my usual wont, of connections with the rest of this set of fictions. So be it, for the very first time since I started book reviewing, I won’t do any of this.
The detailed review of this book posted elsewhere under my name is too long or impractical to post here.
Above is one of its observations.
The detailed review of this book posted elsewhere under my name is too long or impractical to post here.
Above is one of its observations.
November 15, 2024
Excellent. Quality writing. Unique.
November 10, 2021
Always highly stimulating and off the beaten tracks, this UP short story collection by Birnie is no exception. The stories are haunting in a different way than I’m accustomed to, and manages to highlight the horrors of the mundane.
-New to It All:
A man reminisces about his ex girlfriend(s). One of who had a thing for scratching and the next one for biting, of sorts.
The latter enjoyed a special type of biting: She had the ability to take off bite sized parts of the body (e.g. a finger) and then put them back. This works for a while, at least until he catches her doing it to him in his sleep. An interesting story about trust (or lack thereof), how much one might give of oneself in a relationship and consent.
-Out of the Blue:
A man opens his door only to find his father standing there, in spite of having buried him 4 month prior.
On face value, not wholly unlike the opening of another story I recently read (Gloria, Bentley Little) but thematically very different: John (the father) does not seem to have any malicious intent (or any identifiable intent at all), and isn’t really there at all aside from being able to follow simple commands.
A story which deals with grief, the mundanity of having to move on with your life at the same time as having to stash your baggage (in this case;!the shell of your parent) somewhere and dealing with the fallout from that.
-The Turn:
A woman has gone on an impulse (and semi-tipsy) drive after an argument with her partner when her car dies on a deserted road. A close encounter/ near-crash and meeting a seemingly helpful stranger follows on this strange evening.
-Like a Zip:
Alice is suffering from a case of hangnail and has always wanted to see what is inside her. She saw what was in her father as a child, mangled from a car crash, and it wasn’t much. What follows is a short grotesque & act of self mutilation.
-Hand-Me-Down:
Danni has been given a video baby-monitor by her brother & is relieved she hasn’t had to spend money on one herself. That is, until things take a nightmarish turn, and she begins to see things that aren’t there as well as gets the impression that her baby girl isn’t there (only to find her safe in the cot when she rushes in). Seemingly a story of a cursed baby-monitor where you only escape by handing it off to another person, it also put me in the mind of people suffering from post-partum psychosis as it almost has a hallucinatory atmosphere to it. I’m (whilst reading this) expecting a baby girl myself, and I’m glad I’ve opted out of a video-monitor.
-Holes:
A very eloquent body horror short: A man develops what he thinks is a strange spreading rash, but this is entirely unlike any rash he or his partner has ever suffered from.
-I Would Haunt You if I Could:
The eponymous story of the collection. Reads almost like a stream of conscious-thing intermixed with self-help sub chapters which become increasingly unhinged as we’re introduced to the character’s life; she’s recently gone through a breakup, lost her father and has a very dysfunctional relationship with her mother. The whole read carried a manic atmosphere which is never resolved.
-Company:
A flash piece about a partner who was supposed to have been home by now after visiting their father, & where the narrator eventually discovers they were there all the time only to have them leaving for the same reason as above. Nearly Groundhog Day-esque in its atmosphere.
-I Told You Not to Go:
A husband dies doing something as mundane as trying to sort out the tv signal for his wife. The wife is then haunted by his presence (or possibly her own guilt) in modern conveniences like the tv screen, the electronic hum of the telephone and the main.
-Lucida:
A camera with weird quirks is causing the photographer some problems (namely, no matter what, people’s eyes always appear closed on the photos it takes).
-Sister:
A modern take on the folkloric Golem. A sister dies and her family is struggling to come to terms with her being gone. The brother develops a compulsion to capture her likeness in clay, and is maybe just a bit too successful in this venture.
A mostly sad tale dealing with loss, denial and the refusal (inability) to move on.
-You Know What to Do:
A couple move into their new home and find a shelter hidden away and that can only be entered from under the stairs. Local news point to someone having gone missing, disconcerting dreams and odd behavior ensues. It soon becomes apparent that the seller was a lot more anxious to get rid of the house than they were led to believe.
-Dollface:
Raymond is the neighbor who regularly comes by to drink beer on the patio & complain about his wife & child. One day he mentions a doll his sister-in-law Mylene gifted his daughter which supposedly serves as a wedge to drive between him & his family. He becomes increasingly obsessed with the doll & convinced that it’s a lot more than just your average toy. Efforts to get rid of it are less than successful. On one hand you have a creepy doll story, in the other you’re left feeling that Raymond is a man under a lot of stress and projecting his turmoil on the doll.
-Other Houses:
‘The house haunted by someone who was not yet dead. A ghost of the living. Can the living haunt?’
The main character is trying to come to terms with his ailing father (who soon passes away) and finds himself remembering a stairway and a floor of the house which his sister claims wasn’t real. Furthermore, he guiltily remembers an episode where he pushed her into a pond which also supposedly never happened. Losing his parent proves hard and has him walking down memory lane in increased frequency, as well as questioning his memories (or rather, his sister & father’s claims they weren’t real). A bit of a brain twister of a story dealing with grief in a lense reminiscent of many-worlds interpretation.
-New to It All:
A man reminisces about his ex girlfriend(s). One of who had a thing for scratching and the next one for biting, of sorts.
The latter enjoyed a special type of biting: She had the ability to take off bite sized parts of the body (e.g. a finger) and then put them back. This works for a while, at least until he catches her doing it to him in his sleep. An interesting story about trust (or lack thereof), how much one might give of oneself in a relationship and consent.
-Out of the Blue:
A man opens his door only to find his father standing there, in spite of having buried him 4 month prior.
On face value, not wholly unlike the opening of another story I recently read (Gloria, Bentley Little) but thematically very different: John (the father) does not seem to have any malicious intent (or any identifiable intent at all), and isn’t really there at all aside from being able to follow simple commands.
A story which deals with grief, the mundanity of having to move on with your life at the same time as having to stash your baggage (in this case;!the shell of your parent) somewhere and dealing with the fallout from that.
-The Turn:
A woman has gone on an impulse (and semi-tipsy) drive after an argument with her partner when her car dies on a deserted road. A close encounter/ near-crash and meeting a seemingly helpful stranger follows on this strange evening.
-Like a Zip:
Alice is suffering from a case of hangnail and has always wanted to see what is inside her. She saw what was in her father as a child, mangled from a car crash, and it wasn’t much. What follows is a short grotesque & act of self mutilation.
-Hand-Me-Down:
Danni has been given a video baby-monitor by her brother & is relieved she hasn’t had to spend money on one herself. That is, until things take a nightmarish turn, and she begins to see things that aren’t there as well as gets the impression that her baby girl isn’t there (only to find her safe in the cot when she rushes in). Seemingly a story of a cursed baby-monitor where you only escape by handing it off to another person, it also put me in the mind of people suffering from post-partum psychosis as it almost has a hallucinatory atmosphere to it. I’m (whilst reading this) expecting a baby girl myself, and I’m glad I’ve opted out of a video-monitor.
-Holes:
A very eloquent body horror short: A man develops what he thinks is a strange spreading rash, but this is entirely unlike any rash he or his partner has ever suffered from.
-I Would Haunt You if I Could:
The eponymous story of the collection. Reads almost like a stream of conscious-thing intermixed with self-help sub chapters which become increasingly unhinged as we’re introduced to the character’s life; she’s recently gone through a breakup, lost her father and has a very dysfunctional relationship with her mother. The whole read carried a manic atmosphere which is never resolved.
-Company:
A flash piece about a partner who was supposed to have been home by now after visiting their father, & where the narrator eventually discovers they were there all the time only to have them leaving for the same reason as above. Nearly Groundhog Day-esque in its atmosphere.
-I Told You Not to Go:
A husband dies doing something as mundane as trying to sort out the tv signal for his wife. The wife is then haunted by his presence (or possibly her own guilt) in modern conveniences like the tv screen, the electronic hum of the telephone and the main.
-Lucida:
A camera with weird quirks is causing the photographer some problems (namely, no matter what, people’s eyes always appear closed on the photos it takes).
-Sister:
A modern take on the folkloric Golem. A sister dies and her family is struggling to come to terms with her being gone. The brother develops a compulsion to capture her likeness in clay, and is maybe just a bit too successful in this venture.
A mostly sad tale dealing with loss, denial and the refusal (inability) to move on.
-You Know What to Do:
A couple move into their new home and find a shelter hidden away and that can only be entered from under the stairs. Local news point to someone having gone missing, disconcerting dreams and odd behavior ensues. It soon becomes apparent that the seller was a lot more anxious to get rid of the house than they were led to believe.
-Dollface:
Raymond is the neighbor who regularly comes by to drink beer on the patio & complain about his wife & child. One day he mentions a doll his sister-in-law Mylene gifted his daughter which supposedly serves as a wedge to drive between him & his family. He becomes increasingly obsessed with the doll & convinced that it’s a lot more than just your average toy. Efforts to get rid of it are less than successful. On one hand you have a creepy doll story, in the other you’re left feeling that Raymond is a man under a lot of stress and projecting his turmoil on the doll.
-Other Houses:
‘The house haunted by someone who was not yet dead. A ghost of the living. Can the living haunt?’
The main character is trying to come to terms with his ailing father (who soon passes away) and finds himself remembering a stairway and a floor of the house which his sister claims wasn’t real. Furthermore, he guiltily remembers an episode where he pushed her into a pond which also supposedly never happened. Losing his parent proves hard and has him walking down memory lane in increased frequency, as well as questioning his memories (or rather, his sister & father’s claims they weren’t real). A bit of a brain twister of a story dealing with grief in a lense reminiscent of many-worlds interpretation.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 10, 2021
Another great collection from Undertow. My favorite stories here were "Other Houses," “Dollface,”
"Out of the Blue," "New to It All," "Hand-Me-Down," "Holes," and "I Would Haunt You if I Could."
"Out of the Blue," "New to It All," "Hand-Me-Down," "Holes," and "I Would Haunt You if I Could."
dnf
November 27, 2021Dnf'd @ page 95.
1⭐ for the cover
I don't see what everyone else is seeing I guess.
1⭐ for the cover
I don't see what everyone else is seeing I guess.
April 22, 2021
'Can the living haunt?'
Sean Padraic Birnie asks this question in his debut short story collection, and the answer, most assuredly, must be yes, because my mind is currently being haunted by the words of a man very much (at least I think so) alive.
'I Would Haunt You if I Could' offers fourteen short stories, from ghost stories to body horror to surrealist descents-into-madness.
From the utterly cringeworthy 'Like a Zip' to he curiousness of 'Out of the Blue', from the creeping fear of 'The Turn' to the sadness of 'Sister', these tales will take your emotions on a ride into places dark and damp, bloody and bizarre, hidden and haunted.
Atmospheric and at times downright grotesque, this collection has a little something for everyone and shows that Birnie is one to watch.
Sean Padraic Birnie asks this question in his debut short story collection, and the answer, most assuredly, must be yes, because my mind is currently being haunted by the words of a man very much (at least I think so) alive.
'I Would Haunt You if I Could' offers fourteen short stories, from ghost stories to body horror to surrealist descents-into-madness.
From the utterly cringeworthy 'Like a Zip' to he curiousness of 'Out of the Blue', from the creeping fear of 'The Turn' to the sadness of 'Sister', these tales will take your emotions on a ride into places dark and damp, bloody and bizarre, hidden and haunted.
Atmospheric and at times downright grotesque, this collection has a little something for everyone and shows that Birnie is one to watch.
December 27, 2022
This collection is rich and complex, with each story telling a unique tale of what it's like to unravel. Through subtle humor and shocking moments of body horror and surreal appearances, these stories explore whether it's possible to trust anyone, especially yourself and your perception. That sense of universal untrustworthiness (even in reality itself) is one of my greatest fears, and these stories often horrified me. Especially stories like "You Know What To Do" and "Dollface" and "Other Houses" made me gasp at the end. I know I'll want to reread this collection so I can find more clues and odd details.
I especially loved the appearances of strange additions to houses, and how people become addicted to their secret spaces.
I especially loved the appearances of strange additions to houses, and how people become addicted to their secret spaces.
September 24, 2024
This brilliant collection by Seán Padraic Birnie is exceptionally well written. My weird horror-loving heart is full. My favourites...
~Other Houses 💣💥
~Hand-Me-Down (terrifying)
~New To It All (pain is pleasure)
~Like A Zip (brilliant allegory for the emptiness inside)
~Holes (takes trypophobia to the edge)
~Sister (🖤🖤)
~I Would Haunt You If I Could (⭐ writing)
This is another book by Undertow Publications.
~Other Houses 💣💥
~Hand-Me-Down (terrifying)
~New To It All (pain is pleasure)
~Like A Zip (brilliant allegory for the emptiness inside)
~Holes (takes trypophobia to the edge)
~Sister (🖤🖤)
~I Would Haunt You If I Could (⭐ writing)
This is another book by Undertow Publications.
April 10, 2021
Every story in this collection impresses. Absolute personal standouts were 'Out of the Blue', the title story itself, 'I Would Haunt You if I Could', as well as 'Lucida', as I am a sucker for haunted film/photo/camera fiction. Highly recommended.
May 2, 2021
A short story collection teeming with unreal pathways and dense stacks of horror prose. This is a quiet horror collection, but each piece feeds into the next until the whispers become to loud to ignore.
July 10, 2021
Good quality work. I was very impressed and often comforted with phrasings of the world that I have thought myself...Some stories are poignant, some dreamlike. "Like A Zip" was existentially terrifying to me. I will be looking for more of his work.
October 24, 2021
I really wanted to like this one. I give it a 2 because there was one short story in there I found compelling. DNF a little over half way through. There was gore but 0 thrill. It was completely forgettable in my stack of far more memorable thrillers and horror novels.
January 19, 2022
Uncanny in the truest sense of the word, these stories evoke the quiet dread of the quotidian. I bought this collection with a handful of other books when Undertow was having a sale, and now I can’t wait to dive into the rest.
February 22, 2024
This collection was beautiful and weird, and perhaps the best collection I've read in years. The prose is magnificent. Lost in the words, you drift with the subtle shifts in reality and float along, and float along.
July 7, 2021
"New to it all" the very first story left quite the impression.
Truly unsettling in a very specific way.
Truly unsettling in a very specific way.
February 9, 2022
Moments of brilliance, if a bit overstuffed, and a few head-scratchers, but on the whole a worthwhile read.
April 4, 2022
3.5 stars
September 8, 2022
Some legitimately spine-tingling stories in here. Creepy.
February 28, 2023
Wonderfully dreadful.
March 23, 2024
Melancholy stories, mostly horror. Very good.
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