Graham Masterton is a legendary B list horror author – not in the King/Koontz/Saul/Barker league, but very much in the Herbert/Campbell/McCammon one. Since he is British, I’ll allow myself to say that while he’s not quite upper class, he’s certainly upper middle class.
And yet, his style, dryly elegant and witty in unexpected places, has always been evenly balanced between Len Deighton and Dashiel Hammett. A pleasure to read, if you’re in it for certain types of prose, as I am.
Like all living horror giants, he was born in the 40’s. In the past he made efforts to write epic adventures like Plague, Death Dream, Manitou, and The Wells of Hell, suppressing his Britishness, and achieving a vaguely American international vibe.
Likewise, although obviously best suited for private-eye/depressed spy/social satire type of novel, Masterton has valiantly forced himself to maintain a steady output of said horror epics. But, like many of his generation who are now all in their hundred and twenties, Mr. Masterton seems to have run out of fucks to give and writes how he wants to.
Innocent Blood (2004) is a terrorist/ghost story set in Hollywood, and character-wise Masterton immediately starts out with the classic British horror mix (Campbell; Hutson) of the universal horror of being wrongly accused, with the specifically British horror of people being unreasonable. Five chapters in, all masks are shed, and this becomes a vaguely American plot written by Tom Sharpe or an uncharacteristically smooth Ben Elton.
Some favorite quotes:
Frank drove to Sherman Oaks to see his sister Carol, who lived with her husband, Smitty, and their three children in a large, scruffy house on the corner of Stone Canyon Avenue. The front lawn was always strewn with scooters and Action Man toys and Smitty’s lime-green ’68 Plymouth Barracuda was always jacked up in the driveway, in varying degrees of dismemberment.
He walked in to find Carol in her saucepan-cluttered kitchen, trying to make estofado. She was a hopeless cook, which was one of the reasons why Frank didn’t visit very often. The last time he had come round to dinner she had cooked chicken breasts in chili cream and he had spent the next day crouched on the toilet with his teeth chattering, praying for death. How Smitty and the kids had survived for so long he couldn’t imagine
**
He waited by the phone but Astrid didn’t call that evening, so shortly after eight o’clock he drove over to Burbank to see Margot. They were still husband and wife, after all, and he was beginning to feel guilty about leaving her to cope with her grief on her own.
Margot answered the door but Ruth was close behind her, dressed in some extraordinary hand-woven poncho with fraying edges, embroidered with a sun symbol, and baggy brown cotton pants. Margot was wearing denim dungarees and no makeup. Her face was as pale as a scrubbed potato.
‘Was there something you wanted?’ she asked him.
‘I thought we could talk.’
‘I thought you said everything you had to say when you defaced my paintings.’
‘You still believe that I did it?’
‘Do you care what I believe?’
Frank looked at Ruth and Ruth looked back at him with her usual slitty-eyed hostility. ‘Margot needs time to repair her emotional value system.’
‘Oh. I didn’t know it was broken.’
‘Of course it’s broken, Frank. Margot’s entire concept of conjugal weights and balances is in total disorder.’
Frank frowned at Margot as if he couldn’t quite remember who she was. In fact, he was trying to see in her face the reason why he had married her, and why they had conceived Danny together, and why they had stayed together for so long. But all he could see was the mole on her upper lip.
‘Is this true?’ he asked her. ‘Your ENTIRE concept of conjugal weights and balances?’
‘How can you make fun of me after what’s just happened?’
‘I’m not making fun of you, Margot. I’m making fun of a world that turns real feelings into meaningless jargon. I’m trying to tell you how sorry I am. But I’m also trying to tell you that we can’t turn the clock back. Either we’re going to share this grief together, and struggle on, and see what we can make of this marriage, or else we’re going to say that we’ve been holed below the waterline, and abandon ship, and then it’s every man for himself. Or woman,’ he added, before Rachel could say it.
Margot didn’t answer at first. Ruth came forward and took hold of her hand, giving Frank a smug proprietorial look, as if to say, you’ve lost her now; she’s mine. We’re sisters together, look at our hideous clothes and our tied-back hair and our unplucked eyebrows. We don’t need to look attractive to men because we don’t need men.
‘Frank,’ said Margot, ‘I know what you’re saying, I know how sorry you are. But I really need much more time.’
‘All right,’ Frank agreed. ‘I’m prepared to be generous. How much do you want? Two weeks, a month? A year, maybe? How about a decade?’
Then they finally looked at each other and they both knew that it was over.
Frank said, ‘I’ll have my horologist get in touch with your horologist, OK?’
**
He and Mo ended up on the veranda, by the light of a guttering torch. ‘Strange times, you know, Frank,’ said Mo. ‘One day you think you know exactly what the world is all about; you think you got all of your parameters fixed. You got steady work, you live in a nice place, you got your family all around you. Then God comes along and says, “Excuse me, may I remind you that you’re stuck by your feet by an invisible force to a ball of unstable rock which is hurtling around in a total vacuum, and that you’re obliged to share this ball of unstable rock with millions of demented people, many of whom don’t use deodorant, and some of whom would like nothing better than to pocket all of your possessions, torture your pets and blow your head off. Not only that, everything that makes this situation bearable, like cheeseburgers and whiskey and reasonably priced cigars, is going to shorten your life, and in any case you’re going to die anyhow, half-blind, half-deaf, in wet pajamas, in Pasadena.”’
Frank swallowed beer and wiped his mouth with his hand. ‘I guess that’s one way of looking at it.’