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Learning to Speak Southern

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A searing Southern story about confronting the difference between the family you're born into and the family you choose, from the acclaimed author of How to Bury Your Brother

Lex fled Memphis years ago, making ends meet with odd jobs teaching English around the world. She only returns when she has no choice, when her godmother presents her with a bargain she can't refuse. Lex has never understood her mother, who died tragically right before Lex's college graduation, but now she's got a chance to read her journals, to try and figure out what sent her mother spiraling all those years ago.

The Memphis that Lex inhabits is more bourbon and bbq joint than sweet tea on front porches, and as she pieces together the Memphis her mother knew, seeing the lure of the world through her mother's lush writing, she must confront more of her own past and the people she left behind. Once all is laid bare, Lex must decide for herself: What is the true meaning of family?

288 pages, Kindle Edition

First published June 1, 2021

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1109 people want to read

About the author

Lindsey Rogers Cook

2 books86 followers
Lindsey writes about the secrets, dysfunctions and love within families, both born and chosen. She's from Georgia and writes about the South. How to Bury Your Brother is her first novel.

She's also a senior editor for digital storytelling at The New York Times, and previously worked as the data editor for news at U.S. News & World Report.

She lives in Hoboken, NJ with her husband and two fetch-loving cats.

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5 stars
100 (9%)
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301 (28%)
3 stars
468 (44%)
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129 (12%)
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43 (4%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 172 reviews
Profile Image for Angela M .
1,456 reviews2,115 followers
June 8, 2021
2.5 stars.

Lex is clearly carrying the burden of her past, what appears to have been an unhappy childhood, a bad relationship with her parents causing her to leave Memphis and travel the world. Being away hasn’t brought her much happiness either. After a traumatic loss she returns home with the help of her parents best friend Cami, who has always been there for her. Cami was the only likable character. Based on the description, I thought this was one I’d enjoy, but I was disappointed. There are secrets here that dribble revelations far too slowly to connect emotionally with the characters. That made for just too much distance from them, not knowing until the end who they were. The slow revelations just did not appeal to me. While the last third was a bit more captivating, the ending twist of sorts felt a bit like a soap opera. This is one that just wasn’t for me . There are other more positive reviews to read.

This was a buddy read with Diane and Esil. Always an enjoyable discussion even if I didn’t enjoy the book.

I received a copy of this book from Sourcebooks Landmark through Edelweiss.
Profile Image for Literary Redhead.
2,706 reviews692 followers
June 2, 2021
“You can’t go home again,” wrote Thomas Wolfe famously. I pondered this axiom as I sat glued to the pages of LEARNING TO SPEAK SOUTHERN, a sprawling tale about Lex and her troubled return home to Memphis.

Author Lindsey Rogers Cook is a storyteller par excellence, both here and in her work as Senior Editor, Digital Storytelling, NYT. She elegantly unfolds character and narrative as she gently reels you in, keeping you rapt.

Lex fled Tennessee to escape painful memories of her mother’s untimely death. Years later, she’s yanked back after an urgent phone call from her godmother.

I really related to Lex’s journey, which allowed her to better “get” her mother by reading her journals, and coming to a new sense of family, whether by blood or choice. And oh my, what an ending!

5 of 5 Stars
Pub Date 01 Jun 2021
#learningtospeaksouthern #NetGalley

Thanks to the author, NetGalley, and Sourcebooks Landmark for the review copy. Opinions are mine.
Profile Image for Kyra Leseberg (Roots & Reads).
1,133 reviews
April 23, 2021
3.5 stars

Lex left Memphis behind to escape the loss of her mother and the memories of their complicated relationship. She traveled the world from Mexico to Bali, following her love of languages and adventure.
Now a new loss brings her back to her hometown and into the waiting arms of her godmother, Cami.
Lex left so abruptly years ago that she has some explaining to do to the people who care about her but she isn’t quite ready to make amends with the hurt and confusion she’s experiencing from both past and present tragedies.

Cami has just the thing to keep Lex in town long enough to confront her losses: letters Lex’s mother Margaret wrote to Cami years ago. She is stunned to find that her mother was once a rebellious teen and aspiring writer with startling secrets that will change not only Lex’s view of Margaret but also re-write both their life stories.

Learning to Speak Southern is a family drama that examines mother/daughter bonds, friendship, the influence of Southern culture, and the resounding effects of family secrets.

Thanks to Sourcebooks Landmark and NetGalley for providing me with an ARC in exchange for my honest review. Learning to Speak Southern is scheduled for release on June 1, 2021.

For more reviews, visit www.rootsandreads.wordpress.com
Profile Image for Carol.
3,763 reviews137 followers
September 8, 2021
I had some doubts about the dysfunctional family aspect of the book to begin with but believe me...Lex and her family are dysfunctional with a capital D. Lex and her mother had a love/hate relationship, although there seemed not have been any love involved there at all. Lex also had never planned to ever return home. Of all the characters, Grant and Cami were the only ones that I actually liked...Lex never really came through for me although I understood why she was like she was to her family. Since her mother being dead was the reason she returned home, I would have thought she would have made more of an effort to perhaps learn and understand why her parents were like they were. It wasn’t a bad story by any means but I came away feeling slightly dirty. What the reader does learn is we need to be extremely careful of our words and our actions as they shape our lives and our outcomes more than we may never know. I once heard someone say that “A person may forget what you say. They might never understand what you do...but they will never ever forget how you made them feel.” This family should have had that little quote framed and hung in every room of the house.
Profile Image for Amy (TheSouthernGirlReads).
685 reviews142 followers
July 14, 2021
Thank you to the publisher for my review copy. All opinions are my own.

3 1/2 stars.

Y’all, I am going to be honest. I had this book on my radar simply because one of my favorite Southern authors talked about it. I went in completely blind. Despite....Because...of that?!? I thoroughly enjoyed this title. The novel itself was lyrical to me. The undercurrent was slow and steady, in the best possible way.

I look at it as a coming-of-age story. (We don't all come of age as a teenager ya know) Family drama. Add in a drop of Southern and here we are. This is not the traditional Southern book. Aside from the fact the story takes place in Memphis....It could have happened anywhere in the country. Despite that.... I enjoyed it ;-)

You have a story with two very defined narrators. Margaret and Lex. Margaret's perspective coming to Lex through letters as she comes home, after a long time away. That perspective was very well done. The perpetual theme running through the novel.... what does family mean? The answer....it will surprise you.

I had never read Lindsey Rogers Cook before.... I’m so glad I started with Learning to Speak Southern.
Profile Image for Literary Redhead.
2,706 reviews692 followers
January 25, 2021
“You can’t go home again,” wrote Thomas Wolfe famously. I pondered this axiom as I sat glued to the pages of LEARNING TO SPEAK SOUTHERN, a sprawling tale about Lex and her troubled return home to Memphis.

🌼

Author Lindsey Rogers Cook is a storyteller par excellence, both here and in her work as Senior Editor, Digital Storytelling, NYT. She elegantly unfolds character and narrative as she gently reels you in, keeping you rapt.

🌼

Lex fled Tennessee to escape painful memories of her mother’s untimely death. Years later, she’s yanked back after an urgent phone call from her godmother.

🌼

I really related to Lex’s journey, which allowed her to better “get” her mother by reading her journals, and coming to a new sense of family, whether by blood or choice. And oh my, what an ending!

🌼

5 of 5 Stars
Pub Date 01 Jun 2021
#learningtospeaksouthern #NetGalley

Thanks to the author, NetGalley, and Sourcebooks Landmark for the review copy. Opinions are mine.
Profile Image for Shannon Rochester.
756 reviews42 followers
August 5, 2022
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for my digital copy in exchange for an honest opinion...I can see that I am unlike many readers here as I really enjoyed this one...the story is about Lex and her relationship with her past and her dead mother...she had finally escaped Tennessee and was out living her adventurous life when she is called home by her Godmother...since Lex had just gone through a loss and had nowhere else to be anyway, she headed home to face all of her old family issues. She got to have a "new" relationship with her mother by reading all of her old journals and she got to have her own coming of age story...I really like any book that deals with adventure, growing up, learning who you are....all that good stuff. So I really enjoyed this one...while this was my first book by this author, it won't be my last...
Profile Image for Annissa Joy Armstrong.
353 reviews104 followers
June 6, 2021
Lex left Memphis after her mother passed away and she has been traveling the world. She makes just enough money to make ends meet by teaching English.

After an unexpected loss, Lex reluctantly returns to Memphis by making a deal with her godmother. Cami has tried to take care of Lex and now is ready to provide the journals that Lex’s mom , Margaret left. By reading these journals, many secrets are uncovered and Lex begins to understand her mother.

These characters are very well developed and the story is very interesting. Be ready for a big twist at the end!!
Profile Image for Janilyn Kocher.
5,089 reviews117 followers
April 29, 2021
As in so many cases I was lured to this book due to the description. However, the book did not live up to my expectations. The writing was very jumbled and hodge podge. The main character suffers a major tragedy in the opening pages and seems indifferent. She’s multilingual but the sprinkles so many different phrases so often it’s a distraction and quite frankly detracted from the story. This one wasn’t for me. Thanks to Sourcebooks Landmark and NetGalley for the early copy.
21 reviews40 followers
May 27, 2021
Another great read from Lindsey Rogers cook! The diary entries kept me on my toes and left me having so many feels. Can wait to visit Memphis after this!
Profile Image for Margie.
102 reviews1 follower
July 21, 2021
Hoopla is making a big push for everyone to read this book this month so I figured why not? But I hated it and could not make it more than half an hour or so through it, which is a rare thing for me. The part that made me stop cold was when Lex was describing how she had really done people a favor when she lied and conned her way around the world. Why you ask? Because people need to learn the hard lesson that other people can’t be trusted … just as she learned from her father. Nope, nope, nope. Look childhood traumas are real and I am all for a book where people push through tough memories to be more resilient, etc. but this does not seem to be that kind of book. This seems more like “watch a traumatized person behave terribly until the end when one dramatic moment makes them vow to try not to be such a selfish user and possibly make a crack in their world view for someone else’s perspective.” Life is too short for that kind of BS, just like life is too short for bad books.
Profile Image for Emily Cook.
80 reviews
August 12, 2021
I really wanted to like this book. I enjoyed the idea behind it, how the secrets of our parents can shape who we are. The way it was written was very slow, I never knew what the book was building up too, it just kept dredging on and then it was done. Nothing climactic in my opinion.
Profile Image for Carla.
7,615 reviews179 followers
September 11, 2021
Lex left her home and Memphis behind years ago, never planning to return. She worked at odd jobs, specifically teaching English around the world. She is broke and when her godmother gives her some news that has her coming home. She accepts her offer to stay and find out about the mother she never understood. Her childhood was happy when she was with her godmother, but she and her mother had a love/hate relationship. When her mother dies just before her college graduation, she never thought she would have a second chance at figuring her out. Lex was not a genteel southern woman of her mother and godmother, but a partier. She learns about the Memphis her mother grew up in, as well as more about her past. What she learns about her mother surprises her and brings her closer to understanding her.

This is a character driven story. Lex was an interesting character, stubborn, angry and to me selfish. Cami was loving, smart and stubborn and she really wanted Lex to learn about her mother and was smart enough to realize how to get her to do that. I found it interesting to learn how her mother's story mirrored her own in several ways. I really wanted to love this story, but I only liked it. It was very slow and just didn't grab me like I thought it would. Learning to Speak Southern is a family drama that examines mother/daughter bonds, friendship, the influence of Southern culture, and the resounding effects of family secrets. Wonderful themes that I enjoy reading about. If you like southern fiction and stories about families, then I suggest you pick this up. You might just love it more than I did. The publisher generously provided me with a copy of this book upon request. The rating and opinions shared are my own. Tiffany Morgan narrated this story and she does a good job with the southern accents giving me that slow, drawl that I have come to identify with this type of story.

Profile Image for Ionia.
1,471 reviews74 followers
May 9, 2021
To be completely honest, this is a book that I thought I would love, but I actually felt pretty let down after reading it. I understand the main character being multilingual, and I could have even loved that, if there hadn't been so many crazy things all jumbled together in this book at the same time. I also didn't appreciate the stereotyping and negativity displayed by the main character. How many American slurs can you throw into one book? Quite a few, apparently.

Parts of the story were interesting, and I am grateful for having had the opportunity to read it. The cover is also quite lovely, but this book just wasn't for me. Please give it a read and draw your own conclusions. The author is witty, and obviously intelligent. The characters were not my thing.

Thank you to Sourcebooks and NetGalley for giving me the opportunity to read this book in a complimentary Kindle copy in exchange for an honest review. All opinions expressed in this review are my own.

Profile Image for Lorraine.
1,562 reviews41 followers
January 14, 2022
As I reflected upon this story, I came to truly appreciate the depth of the story and it’s characters. At first I was distracted by Lex’s habit of word ruminating. (But isn’t that exactly what SHE was trying to do?). Once I settled in, i started to reflected upon and remember ( being 62) how hard it is to BECOME, breaking free from one’s parent’s dreams and reaching for your own dreams…not knowing who to trust… thinking you KNOW your parents story…. Thinking you KNOW your own story… thinking you understand what’s going on… thinking you understand the story, completely…
Young adulthood is a minefield, for all. Some come through it more intact then others but there are wars stories had by all, all have their own private scars. Learning to Speak Southern does a nice job at showing the layers of the onion peel, just how becoming, living life effects everyone grandparents, parents and children.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️Stars
Profile Image for Danielle.
162 reviews
October 7, 2022
Good read. It’s a different type of story told in the same back and forth way that is becoming a common tool in storytelling. I didn’t particularly feel that much for the protagonist, even though I should have. I’m not sure what was missing.
Profile Image for Annie McDonnell.
Author 1 book116 followers
January 9, 2022
A must read! Full review coming! A top Read of mine for the year!
Profile Image for Abbey.
329 reviews13 followers
June 26, 2021
Besides my absolute obsession with how gorgeous the cover of this book is, I am torn on how to feel about Lindsey Rogers Cook's "Learning to Speak Southern."

I was drawn to the premise and immediately pulled in by the first scene where we find Lex in the hospital mourning her prematurely stillborn baby boy - all while the baby's daddy is scooting out the door as fast as humanly possible. My emotions were definitely tugged during many of the scenes, but at the same time, I never felt a true connection with any of the characters. Well, I take that back...there was one I truly despised, but hate is an easy feeling to create without having to make the character very deep. I also felt the twist at the end was ... ... ... odd. Part of me thought it was a tiny bit sweet, while another felt it weird and unnecessary.

Another piece of the book that was strange for me to deal with was the many, many, many times that Lex went to her mental safe place where she would repeat the origin of words and their meaning. I know it was supposed to come off as charming, however, I felt annoyed with it after awhile. I will say, though, that I listened to this on audio, so I think had I read it as a physical book, they could have stayed charming because I could have quickly glanced over them instead of having the narrator read every single syllable.

Overall, it was a fine read. I'm not sorry I read it, but it's not one I would reread or even necessarily recommend to a friend. As far as ratings go, 2.5 stars feels too low, but 3 feels too high. Still, I finished it and enjoyed large chunks of it...so I'll go with 3 stars.

Thank you to NetGalley and Sourcebooks Landmark for the opportunity to read and review this novel.
Profile Image for Erin.
352 reviews
January 18, 2022
December 2021 my mother, sister & I began the tradition of gifting a book on Christmas Eve. We saw a post about how they did/do this is Iceland and as we are a family of readers we jumped on the idea.

This was the book chosen for me by my mom. Originally we're from North Carolina and with a summary about a daughter running anywhere but home in the south since her mother's death it seemed like a no brainer as a pick for me.

I loved that it's not something I would normally pick up for myself. I enjoyed the story, but I couldn't identify with the main character, Lex. I'm a 'fix it' 'make everything better' kind of person, so I just can't wrap my mind around taking off without a care for anyone in my life or family regardless of the circumstances. When tragedy brings Lex home to her Godmother, she's home less than 12 hours before planning to leave again.

There is so much anger, grief and guilt throughout that at times I had to take a break. But I'm glad I read it, and tried something new.
Profile Image for Denise.
187 reviews91 followers
December 2, 2021
Triggers for loss of a child, parent, parental figure, suicide & emotional and/or mental manipulation

Alexandra "Lex" Henry is going through some shit & spends a lot of time whining about it. Her godmother, Cami, brings her home from Bali back to Memphis, TN. Not only is she dealing with the trauma of her ordeal overseas but now she returns to the last place she ever wanted & the reminder of her mother's death. Speaking of mothers, Margaret Henry apparently had a scandalous past & it is revealed to Lex in the form of letters she had mailed to Cami decades ago. Lots of alcohol & running around her old haunts ensue as Lex attempts to get to the bottom of Cami's suspicious behavior, the chores she assigns Lex in exchange for the next letter, and possible confrontations with her estranged father & bff Grant. There are some twists and misdirections & the revelation at the end bumped this from a 2 star to a 3. There is some character growth however if you don't like whiny self reflection and an unlikeable main character then don't pick this up.
198 reviews
October 18, 2021
Really a 2.5. Being a southerner, I was drawn to this book, but was very disappointed. It was not a southern story, in my mind. The book didn’t hold up to the title.
Profile Image for Blair.
112 reviews5 followers
June 9, 2021
Not sure if I enjoyed this book as much as I did because it was set in Memphis (I’m a Memphian) with all of its Memphis references or because it was really that good. Nonetheless, it was an intriguing, interesting foray into the concept of “family” & it’s many iterations.
Profile Image for Beth SHULAM.
570 reviews
May 27, 2021
Sorry to say this one wasn’t for me. Quite lost from the first pages on what exactly was happening and why. I derived that a young lady had just lost a baby and was being sent back to America, but I felt just thrown into the story without an anchor. DNF.
621 reviews
October 15, 2021
The best part of Learning to Speak Southern by Lindsey Rogers Cook is the title. What Cook gives us is an unlikeable character who obviously doesn't have a clue about what makes her happy. I found the main character of Lex to be narcissistic and so full of hubris that those around her just can't seem to stand her. It's a tale of a godmother who helps Lex better understand her mother as she and Lex never seemed to get along but the godmother only gives Lex her mother's journals one at a time, perhaps as a way to keep Lex in the area so that she will be there to help her as she approaches her final days. Lex is a continent hopper and makes a big to do about the various languages she's learned over time but nothing ever prepared her to like her own culture. There was one area that I found particularly interesting, which is when her father has taken out loans in his daughter's name (because he's found himself saddled with great debt) only to pay them back so that she will one day have credit and a nest egg. Regardless, Cook continues with a disjointed tale of way too many characters and lackluster prose which gives me pause to ever read another one of her works. Cook's best talent is deciding on the title, and from there on she should quit.
Profile Image for Emma Stanley.
18 reviews
July 2, 2025
DNF after 30 pages. THIRTY. Going straight back to the Little Free Library it came from. (I can absolutely see why this one wasn’t a keeper for somebody.) Tried to give the author the benefit of the doubt and skipped ahead only to see pages of linguistics history. It’s actually insufferable.
Profile Image for Kookie9200.
512 reviews
January 16, 2021
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for allowing me to review this book!

Lex fled Memphis after her mother died, intent on having adventures and leaving the staid existence in her home town. A shocking loss and a call from her godmother bring her home years later, plunging her into a world where she has to relearn what it means to be family.

What I found interesting in this book is that it focuses on linguistics, something I haven't even considered since a course in college. It's an angle I'd never seen before, and I enjoyed that. I also thought it was well written and flowed well. It's also a well crated mystery.

Lex, however, was not a likeable character. I feel like she spent most of the novel clinging to old hurts because she didn't want to actually change or understand what her mother may have gone through. Honestly, as much as I empathized with her, I found her to be whiny and recalcitrant. At times, it was hard to read because she was so irritating. Overall, I am glad I stuck it out to the end, because it was a doozy.
Profile Image for Jane Hoppe.
355 reviews13 followers
November 8, 2021
First, let me say that probably most other readers would give this novel, Learning to Speak Southern, four or five stars. Lindsey Rogers Cook gives us a well-written, poignantly emotional journey. Lex, a somewhat nomadic professional linguist comes home to Memphis, where her mother's best friend Cami entices her to stay in Memphis long enough to read the journal her mother kept before she died. As Lex reads her mother's story, she sees things she's been angry about for years in a new light. I cheer for Lex as she searches for answers, relives painful childhood memories, and learns more about herself in the process.

Although my mind knows Cook's premise and language are creative, my heart had trouble living for 269 pages in bitter hatred and anger. It felt as though Lex spat the words onto the pages. That's the only reason for giving this novel only two stars.

The author includes twelve insightful questions in a Reading Group Guide at the end. Learning to Speak Southern explores themes of family, love, and friendship.
Profile Image for Hailey Goodwin.
77 reviews
March 5, 2021
I made it 73% of the way through and decided to DNF this book.

Immediately from the beginning I didn’t like how as a reader, we were thrown into different situations when we had no background information. This carried over throughout when we began reading the mom’s letters and my understanding of what was happening became muddied. As I continued to read, the author did clarify many of those details, but some of them would have been good to know from the beginning.

I also would have loved it if the author had the mom’s letter/entries labeled with the date that she wrote them. It would have made them seem more authentic.

The biggest struggle I had reading this book was that the only two characters I found likes me were Cami & Grant.

Favorite Quote:
“Before you judge me, think instead, what would you have done?”

I appreciate the opportunity to read the eARC and hope to pickup the book again one day to finish it.
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